My God, is Delauter going to make us defend Afzali?

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Thanks a lot #!

Your Lady Yokels have been distracted by a number of other local races lately, and #kirbydelauter and his race for our county’s highest office have unfortunately been on our back burner. Until today! On his county executive Facebook page he posted this:

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Well, you shouldn’t be a bit surprised that Kirby’s description of this bill is 100% inaccurate! 100%!  This bill was crafted to make sure that a violent protective order comes before a judge the SAME DAY it is filed and yes, gives a JUDGE (not any citizen!) the authority to temporarily remove guns from the home of a person who has exhibited behavior that makes the police and a judge believe that this person may use them!!!!! Here’s the summary of the bill:

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Because, unlike Kirby, we like our readers to be informed. You can read the bill in its entirety here.

The bill’s sponsor used the example of Candance Carnathan, who filed a protective order against her husband. Ms. Carnathan marked on her protective order form that her husband had a firearm, however, the gun was not removed and he shot both his wife and himself leaving their young children without a parent.  Would Kirby argue that Ms. Carnathan’s husband’s right to keep his gun was more important than the right of his wife to live?

Your Lady Yokels know people whose parents have suffered impairment as a result of age. This impairment caused a certain amount of paranoia that made the individual very dangerous with his guns. Is it Kirby’s position that this individual’s right to bear arms is more important than the right of his family to live?

It is all so curious that we hear all kinds of blame directed at the  government AFTER a shooting happens. There is all kinds of outrage that the government should have done more to make sure the shooter didn’t have access to a weapon. BUT, when the government tries to make sure a murder doesn’t happen, they are committing a “gross overreach.” It’s apparent that Kirby did not read one word of this bill and instead just went into some kind of crazy Pavlovian response when he heard the word: gun.


Now that you are more educated, Kirby, we want to hear why you are against this bill. What are you afraid of? How is this a bad thing? How did you misinterpret this entire bill? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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Take a seat readers, because you may not ever hear this again:


Yesterday, we had another example of gun violence against what seems to be have been a former romantic partner in a high school in Southern Maryland. Thankfully, the school resource officer was there to stop the shooter before things had a chance to get any worse. What would have been better if the young man wasn’t able to get his hands on a gun in the first place! And while we may agree with Billy’s assessment of the officer:

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Kirby’s response to this post leaves a lot to be desired:

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#FACTSMATTER people! This man cannot be given the reins of our fine county!

World of HELL NO!

Though he’s never far from your Lady Yokel’s thoughts, we really haven’t been paying a lot of attention to #kirbydelauter lately. Maybe it’s because of Billy being so dumb, or maybe we’ve just grown weary. Maybe both! Anyway, a couple of interactions we’ve seen with him lately made us realize that we’ve got to keep getting the word out about him. Especially since he’s under the delusion that he should be our next county executive.

Works great for us!

If you haven’t already seen Kirby’s thoughts on global warming, click on over to this Facebook thread to read all about it.  The gist of it is that Kirby can find us TWO scientists that don’t believe in global warming for every ONE that Kai Hagen can produce. That’s right 2 to 1! Who knew Kirby was acquainted with so many scientists! All kidding aside,  these claims are certainly something Kirby should be required to prove. And here’s the rules Kirbo:

  1. Scientists must have a degree in SCIENCE from an accredited university. NOT Trump University.
  2. Scientists must study global warming.
  3. Cannot be some guy that just posts on Brietbart.
  4. Must produce better evidence than “it’s cold outside right now.”

We’ll be anxiously waiting to meet all these scientists!

Kirby wasn’t done Facechatting with Kai for this morning this took place!

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So, we did a little social media looking to see what else our county executive hopeful has been up to!

Remember we warned ya!

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In case you missed it, here’s the link to the above story. So, Kirby doesn’t believe any special attention should be paid to the fake news issue in our schools? That doesn’t surprise us since he has Fake News Provocateur, Cam Harris, on his payroll. The New York Times did a whole article on that guy, but what’s the prob? Is it bad to make up a story that deliberately misleads people right before an election? Is it bad to focus on this issue with children since it’s become such a pervasive problem in our society? Is it bad to hire someone who does something like this to help run your campaign? Should someone who hires someone who does things like this run our county? Is this the way in which a leader shows good judgment?

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Lowering vehicle emissions is a sham peeps! We can’t help but wonder if Kirby can find THREE scientists for every ONE that says these standards lower our air pollution. We’ll be waiting!

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Pew! Pew! Merry Christmas!

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It’s been awhile since we’ve seen any new additions to Kirby’s fashion line. Go ahead and take a peek at the other fine items he has for you! We swear all of those shirts actually exist!

Possessing generous hearts, we will give Kirby a chance if he promises to change the county flag to this:


Barring that, we’ll just have to err on the side of logic and vote for anyone else!

The Twitter Feeds of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb.

Every few days we check the social media accounts of our favorite local characters. Not only Facebook, but Twitter as well. Boy did we find some jewels today. Lets’s begin with #kirbydelauter:

Isn’t it comforting to know Kirby is totally fine electing a man accused of assaulting and persuing underage girls, and who was dismissed from the Alabama Supreme Court TWICE to the U.S. Senate just so he can get a few thousand dollars back on his taxes? He is literally willing to have a sexual predator serve in the U.S. Senate as long as his wallet is a tad bit greener. What a peach!

The second retweet from Dan Bongino is also very interesting. Especially considering fellas like Kirby are always screaming about the overreach of the federal government. Guess all that federal overreach doesn’t apply when it comes to their precious guns. Pew! Pew!

Now onto Tweedle Dumb. We have no idea in the world what this is about:

If anyone can clear this up, please send us a line. And, it appears as though Shrelauter have started the Dan Bongino fan boyz club!

Not sure who thinks this guy is worthy of an award. Considering this is how he behaves. Plus, he can’t seem to win an election.

Finally, Mr. Ski Instructor is all fine and dandy with the President giving away public lands:

This all begs the question, is there anything that Trump can do that will turn Shrelauter against him? Sure seems as though they are drinking the kool aid to the very last drop.

Grandstanding points removed! Whatever will Shrelauter do?

In this morning’s Political Notes report, Danielle Gaines informs of of what our local characters are up to. The first part of her column tells us Jan Gardner and Michael Hough have come together to merge their ethics bills into one piece of legislation. Now, we appreciate when our politicians on both sides of the aisle come together, since that is a rarity in these here times. However, we cannot help but think that Hough may be doing this to take away one of #kirbydelauter’s favorite talking points! For whenever Jan’s ethics bill enters the conversation Kirby immediately responds by pointing out that Hough’s bill was so much better and comprehensive. And, we all know that Hough would prefer Afzali in the County Executive seat.

Don’t ask questions you may not want the answer to Mr. Patches!


It also appears that Billy’s suggestion that motor homes be taxed as real estate property instead of as a motor vehicle didn’t gain any supporters as the final agenda, as reported by Ms. Gaines,  for the county delegation looks like this:

A final agenda was set this week and includes six main items:

  • A legislative priorities presentation from the Frederick County Liquor Board;
  • a discussion of ethics legislation from Hough;
  • potential requests for state bond funding;
  • discussion of the opioid epidemic;
  • potential legislation from the delegation; and
  • public comment.


And speaking of Billy. Remember his fit about how he didn’t get all the information he needed (like he ever reads!) and how he was forced to PIA the county government to get what he needed?

In November, I wrote that discussions among County Executive Jan Gardner (D) and the county’s legal team resulted in a decision to revisit the request Shreve said was not completed.

County spokeswoman Vivian Laxton said on Thursday that an expanded packet of information was delivered to Shreve’s office this Tuesday.

Oh dear, with all their talking points slowly disappearing with the wind, what will they barrage us with now?


It’s meeting time! This one is going to hurt big time!

We’re skipping the drinking game this week. Why? Well, it’s for your own good. There are some issues to be discussed this evening that are just so aggravating that we fear that the temptation to over imbibe may be  too strong. Like alcohol poisoning strong.  So, grab your agenda, tune into the highly rated FCGTV channel, and try not to break everything in your house.

First, on the agenda, is a road needs study for the New Market/Monrovia area. Read through this study and you’ll see why it is needed. Just try not to choke over the final price tag. Hopefully Steve Horn can make it out without Billy flinging an insult at him.

Now comes the part that may make you want to pack it in and move on. Janice Speigel will be in attendance to go over the School Capacity Needs Analysis report. Folks, it’s bad…real, real bad. With over 21,000 residential units in the pipeline we are in real trouble when it comes to our schools and overcrowding. It’s going to be really expensive, especially since the last BOCC allowed these developers to sign DRRA’s that made it so they didn’t have to pay up. Of course we expect Kirby to pipe up with his super discounted many-times-over-debunked leaseback idea, which would only spell more disaster for our fine county. Here’s a taste of what you can expect to hear about this evening:

And don’t forget that two people responsible for this mess want to run for County Executive and Maryland State Senate. Can you imagine?!

Lastly, we have dueling Senior Tax Credit bills from Jerry and Kirby. Quick poll! Before you even look at them, predict whose bill is more complete and helpful to our struggling seniors!

The bills are in the mail Afzali and Delauter!

On two separate occasions these past few weeks, our frenemies Kathy Afzali and Kirby Delauter have benefited from your Lady Yokel’s proofreading skills. Let us lay the evidence before thee.

Let’s start with Kathy Afzali. You may remember the post we wrote about her very poorly done website we posted on September 15th. We pointed out these glaring mistakes:

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Isn’t the heart sweet?
Well, now look at her website!

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Therefore, she gets one of these:

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You may think that’s a little steep! And all we have to say is, “FREE MARKET, people!”
Kirby is also receiving a bill. Just a few days ago we pointed out his egregious use of the Washington Post’s Fact Checker page’s Pinocchio icon. Not only the icon ,but also the fact that he spelled Pinocchio wrong.

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We received some info about these claims. Here are the real facts:

The County received its first AAA bond rating from Fitch in March 2010   (Gardner BOCC)

The County received its second AAA bond rating from S & P in July 2014 (Young BOCC)
The triple AAA from Fitch was maintained in the interim period.

The County received its third AAA bond rating from Moody’s in June 2016 (Gardner CE)
The triple AAA ratings from Fitch and S & P maintained in interim period.

The first time the county had AAA bond ratings from all three agencies was in June 2016.

Now, we know he will keep getting the facts wrong, however, he did correct his misspelling. It’s still beyond us why he’s putting the puppet’s name in quotes.

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Therefore, Kirby also receives one of these:



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We’ll let you know if we hit payday!!

Who really deserves the Pinocchio nose!?

Well, well, well, do we ever have something for you today! Every week or so, we check up on our favorite local politicians’ Facebook pages to see what we can see. And boy, did we see something!

Hope on over to Kirby’s county executive page and you’ll see some fresh new “graphics”:

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Let’s just put aside the misinformation for a moment and focus on the “Pinnochio” (sp) rating at the bottom. Besides spelling the beloved character’s name all wrong, we couldn’t help but notice we’ve seen the same exact icons somewhere else. Where you ask?

How about the Washington Post Fact Check page?

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We couldn’t find Kirby giving the liberal rag any props on any of these slides. Perhaps he thought if he spelled the name wrong he was okay. Nevertheless, to rip their icon off, and so poorly we may add, shows what a second rate operation this campaign really is.

If you want to see a true situation in which a Pinocchio nose would apply take a gander at this little jewel:

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Oh my! They really think they did a good job!
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That’s more like it!

What the hell is this?

Or let Kirby write about it!
We don’t like going over to the noodley appendage. Well, that’s not entirely true. It is a lot of fun to point and laugh at the hodge podge of cray cray they print over there. We still want them to tell us what happened to our friend Galahad Sweetbottom! After a few weeks avoidance, we sauntered on over to the other side and saw that our very own county executive candidate, #kirbydelauter, had penned another post! Oh man, wait until you see this.

That is an understatement, dear readers!
Of course we want you to make up your minds for yourself, so click here when you need a good headache. To save you the time and pain we’ll point out the best parts.

Kirby was not a fan of Jan running around telling everyone that the Jefferson Tech Park was the worst financial deal in the history of forever. So, in his jumbled mess entitled “The Perception of Deception” (no, we didn’t make that up), he’s going to lay the situation out in “layman” terms for all us dummies:

Let’s say the new bridge built by and paid for the developer is a brand new Cadillac. The 3.8 miles of existing 40-year-old state roadways are let’s say, a 1977 AMC Gremlin. In order to get the Gremlin to run, you have to put “X” amount of dollars into it, then in order to keep it running, you need to maintain it at a cost of “X.

These roads are no different. They’re 40 years old plus or minus. So they need to be brought up to current standards which is not cheap. Also, every year now we have 3.8 miles more of roadway to maintain and remove snow, year-after-year-after-year. Whereas the new Cadillac you would spend zero dollars on repairs and maintenance is minimal year-after-year.

Great question Jackie Chan!
He continues along with some more numbers, but none of this makes any damn sense no matter how many times we read it. So, to illustrate his point further, he goes off on a tangent to let us know–once again–what kind of elitist he really is:

When I was a county commissioner I voted to cease giving elected officials pensions as well as cut the taxpayer-funded expense accounts from $2,500 per commissioner to $250. Ask the county executive today how much she has awarded herself in the way of an expense account, including the taxpayer-funded vehicle used daily.

If you want to run for office you better make sure you can afford it y’all!

And, we are all so sure that whatever expense account Jan may have comes nowhere near the amount of money the citizens of this county will have to shell out over this deal!



Who is Kirby running against? Logic and common sense!

It certainly is not!

Politicians using scare tactics to secure votes certainly isn’t a new phenomenon. Kirby has lots of good company in that regard. What is a little more unusual, is getting everyone all riled up over an issue that isn’t an issue!

You may remember that just a few weeks ago there was some question as to how Kirby felt about sanctuary counties:

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This says YES to Sanctuary County!

Let’s not forget that Kirby wanted to fight fellow councilman Jerry Donald after Mr. Donald called him out on his nonsense and another private citizen posted an unflattering meme of Kirby.

This morning, FNP reporter Danielle Gaines decided to check up on Kirby’s latest press release calling on fellow council members to:

“to make a commitment to Frederick County taxpayers by pledging that they will never support policies that would make the county a ‘sanctuary county’ for illegal immigrants.”


Ms.Gaines, being the thorough reporter that she is, decided to check with his fellow council members and the county executive. The result?

Jerry Donald:

“He is the only person on the Council or in the Executive branch I have EVER heard say ANYTHING about this,” Donald said in an email. “A sanctuary county means law enforcement would not enforce the law. The laws are enforced by the Sheriff. If he’s worried about the Sheriff enforcing the law then he should talk to the Sheriff. This is an obvious ploy to stir people up.”

Jessica Fitzwater:

“It’s odd that I would hear about this from a press release when Council Member Delauter has never asked me about it himself,” Fitzwater said in an email Tuesday evening. “He had an opportunity when I saw him tonight after our meeting but he did not say a word to me.”

Bud Otis:

“[Councilman] Delauter has never approached me or discussed this matter with me at any time,” Otis wrote in an email. “We have serious matters pending before the County Council and I will not comment on what I consider a non-issue and is not before the County Council.”

M.C. Keegan-Ayre:

“Council members Donald, Fitzwater, Otis and I are busy with several legislative initiatives, but none dealing with creating a ‘sanctuary county,’” she said Tuesday.

County Executive Gardner wins the war of the words, though we do hope she isn’t giving Kirby any ideas:

“While there is no real definition of ‘sanctuary’ cities or counties, the discussion is always focused on law enforcement. In Frederick County, we have a separately elected Sheriff who is fully responsible and in charge of law enforcement,” Gardner said in an email. “Kirby either does not understand the structure of county government or has lost faith in the Sheriff’s ability to do his job. If Kirby wants to focus on immigration, he should consider running for Congress.””


Next time Kirby, try focusing on something we really need to fix!!!


Let’s make it a September to remember! Your 9/5 drinking game is here!

County council meetings are not worth damaging your liver over!

Billy ruined last month’s meeting, utterly ruined it. Hopefully, this meeting will be more civil. But with Kirby double negatively seeking the CE office with his new fashion line, we don’t have much faith that will happen. Nevertheless, we mustn’t check out, so grab your agenda, turn on FCGTV, and guard your liver well!

Public comments have been tame or non-existent lately. If anyone should think this is their time to grandstand, instead of you know,  providing legitimate, helpful feedback, slam back a Screaming Hick!

Let’s see if Kirby can remember to pull a budget adjustment before everyone votes yes on them this week. If not, sip gently on your Poor Decisions cocktail.

We have minutes to approve, legislative items to learn about, and county executive appointments to confirm! If anyone should provide any disruptions mix up a barrel of Lunatic Giant, since we have more of our share of those around here!

Next up there’s documents to sign and then a public hearing on some water and sewer amendments. We need clean water and Zeus on the high mountain knows we need a functional sewage system. Therefore, if anyone throws fits mix up a Dark’n Dirty. Because that’s what our water will look like if we don’t take care.

The end is nigh! Billy will vote against going into closed session, because REASONS. Maybe we’ll hear from the public again and then we close up with the council member comments. This is when things can get really, really bad.

We are begging you Shrelauter!! It’s going to be stressful enough this week getting the kids back to school!

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