Oh, they are not getting off this easy! Your Yokel good-bye post to the three amigos!

download (8)
Listen to Buster, there is no need for such dramatics!

We kinda feel cheated here. We thought there was going to be at least one more meeting for us to narrate, one more chance to wax nostalgic about these long four years. However, since Bud wisely decided to allow the next council to make a decision on the Monocacy River Plan, it is over. We are not about to let Kirby, Billy, and Tony leave without one last post! We’ve worked way too hard over this last term to just let them slink away under the cover of darkness.

why-you-little-yvlw9i.jpg
We are not quite done…YET!

We  dove into the old Yokel archives to come up with a top five list for each of our least favorite FORMER (ah man, that feels good to type) council members!

Let’s start with Tony. Our biggest problem with him was his condescension towards the women on the council and Jan in particular. We’ve also heard that there are those down in Winchester Hall  who are very happy they no longer have to put up with his mansplaining ways! Take a look back to when he tried to mansplain something that wasn’t even happening!!!

Every budget season Tony liked to compare the county budget to his very own small business. You know since Tony hasn’t made enough money to give his workers a raise, the county should operate along the same lines! Here’s a trip down memory lane to remind y’all just how long-winded and off course he could be.

Remember when Tony introduced the off-track betting bill and tried to tell us it was open to any restaurant ? We smelled a rat and decided to take Kirby’s advice to follow the money and guess what? We discovered it wasn’t really open to all! All kinds of fun!

Let us also remember when he introduced legislation to ensure that the planning commission didn’t hold any political beliefs. We dug around a little and found out this was directed at Bob and Carole because he didn’t like something he saw on Facebook!  Oh the petty dramas we’ve seen on Facebook this year!

What he will be most remembered for is launching his miserably failed write-in campaign! Sour grapes anyone?

It’s difficult to narrow down the list for Kirby as he gave us way too much material to work with. What we will remember most is his alternative budgets he would write every year. Budgets he had no authority to write, which often made no sense, and just wound up wasting everyone’s time. Go ahead and click here and here.

Kirby’s thrown a lot of online hissy fits, but besides the time he made national news when he threatened to sue a reporter over using his name, our second favorite has to be when he refused to donate to the Catoctin athletic department because he couldn’t grab up all the county contracts. Way to keep it classy!

Kirby also has trouble distinguishing dictatorships from a democratically elected executive office! We will never forget the lesson plan we put together to help him distinguish the difference!

In more recent news, Kirby was NOT happy that he lost in the Republican primary for CE. And he wasn’t going down quietly. He specifically charged Danny Farrar with high crimes and misdemeanors for daring to campaign with Regina Williams.  He also called a private citizen a POS for daring to go against him.  Even the High Sheriff got called out! If you missed it, it is a MUST see.

No Kirby countdown is complete without mention of the flowchart. It is truly the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. When it first came to your Lady Yokel’s attention, we were gasping for air trying to breathe. All these years later it still brings a smile to our face. 

16252123_10209369588214219_7315849600476474463_o
We just had to put it here as well! Jessica still has not answered these charges against her! LOLOLOLOL!

Oh Billy, Billy, Billy. The most ineffectual of all of our first county council members. What he’ll probably most be remembered for is for his uncreative use of the word ABSTAIN. Billy thought since they didn’t have their own budget whisperer (despite them having the entire county budget department available to answer any questions) he could just take the next four years off.  We still find it amusing that the person he and Kirby wanted as their budget person ran against Kirby in the CE primary, and according to Kirby ruined everything for him. The drama of Frederick County politics! You never know when someone is going to turn against ya!

There was a whole bunch of wedding venue drama associated with Billy. He didn’t care if a structure was deemed unsafe by the Fire Marshall and could have potentially killed a bunch of high school kids. He didn’t care if the people operating said wedding venue had the proper permits or if they even asked the people who actually owned the land if they could host weddings and parties. NONE of that mattered to him. It was quite a sight to behold, watching him trying to rationalize all this nonsense. 

Billy’s rude behavior was a constant thorn in our side. He’s adopted the Trump way of speaking because : 1. He can’t think for himself, and 2. He reacts in anger when he doesn’t understand what is going on. Which was quite often. Here’s an example of when Billy took that anger out on one of our favorite county employees, Lori Depies.

Let us not forget when Billy lost his keys, couldn’t have his coveted parking space, and accused Bud Otis of telling him to “get on his knees”. This caused Billy to threaten to file a sexual harassment complaint! He then said  if this was appropriate language then he was going to start using it on the dais! As though he was holding himself back!

What we will most remember about good ole Billy Shreve is the time he told the world that there are people on both sides of the human trafficking issue. He then proceeded to vote against every human trafficking bill that came before the council. Really folks, what kind of person votes against trying to stop human trafficking?

 

 

Screen Shot 2018-06-26 at 11.02.33 PM
The kind that gets his ass handed to him in a primary election!

We’ll see how much we have to say with the new council. Things are looking pretty sane so far.  Thank y’all for paying attention and voting these jokers out. We don’t need this type of legislating in our fine county!

parting-is-such-sweet-sorrow-false
Not this time!

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s listen to the adults here.

steampunk-bazooka-goes-pew-pew-pew-pew-cute-aptions-com-11666119
It’s okay Freckles, you can come out from the plumbing.

Check out the article in today’s FNP about Kirby’s Gun Sanctuary. If you missed our post on this nonsense last night click here.

We just want to point out the quotes from his opposition in the Republican primary for county executive.

Delegate Kathy Afzali (R-District 4) wrote in an email: “I support the Constitution and all of its amendments, that includes the Second Amendment. Frederick County is already prohibited from taking actions that violate the U.S. Constitution. It is the great thing about living in America. I will not only uphold the Constitution, but I will clean out the squabbling politicians from County government. County government lets developers rule the roost. Clean house and protect the Constitution. I can do both.”

So read between the not so subtle lines here, Kirby you are one of the squabblers, and you need to go.

Regina Williams wrote: “I commend Kirby for his stance on Second Amendment issues. While I am a supporter myself of 2A, as County Executive, I plan to focus on issues within the County’s purview including County taxes, permitting processes, school safety and the heroin/opioid epidemic. Perhaps Kirby would be better suited for a state or federal elected position where he would have jurisdiction over his political priorities.”

We are going to disagree with any notion that Kirby would be better suited to a state or federal position. Kirby should just retire from any public office.

We will just wait for the next thing Kirby does that makes both Afzali and Regina continue to look like better options in the Republican primary.

Afzali inspires us to marvel, “Who is going to win this primary?”

We almost forgot about this dingbat, who is seemingly threatening would be donors to her county executive campaign. “I am a witch. Give me money, or I will torment you with evil conjurings!”

Kathy Afzali wants help
She really does need help.

What is with this clown show we are treated to by a too large number of local Republicans, anyway?

Bud Otis, for the love of Pete. Why, oh why, have you seemingly realigned with team dingleberry and the darlings of developers?

Aside Afzali we have a county executive candidate who hates free publicity–Kirby “don’t talk about me in the paper” Delauter, crafter of flowcharts, follower of none.

His sidekick DeploraBilly Shreve, who is consistently and appallingly incompetent on a vast range of subjects, and is running for Maryland Senate.

Plus, we will forever have Billy and Kirby’s fascinating friend who shall not be named (who we are worried/thrilled to consider, based upon rubbernecking over his not subtle enough Facebook musings, that he may be considering a don’t-call-it a-comeback return to public life with the launch of a sexxxpert advise [sic] podcast in honor of Human Trafficking Workshop Week next week). Gross. #partyoffamilyvalues

Added bonus. Also running for CE, we have Regina “The Bullshit Stops Here” Williams. We would tell you more, but her website reveals no official positions on anything. Gracious. Afzali has issues. Kirby has issues. We know you have issues, too. You sued the county.

It’s rather sad to note that Afzali seems like the most serious contender here, having at least had the forethought to think about the issues, and she really is a hot mess. Remember the time she had a spat with the sheriff, and was texting him that he was a wimp and a phony?

Go ahead, madam. Align yourself with the wicked witch. It’s a perfect accompaniment to your Pay No Attention to that Man Behind the Curtain president. This clownshow is a plague.

 

You’re sure no Ephelba. We’ll be over here defying gravity, thankyouverymuch.

 

Queen of Bad Judgment

So, this isn’t exactly breaking news at this point, since everyone who cares about local politics has been gossiping away about it, but OMGeeeeeee.

Blaine’s ex…no, not his ex wife, his ex-fiancée, the one and only Regina Williams, who hitched her wagon to this sinking cinderblock post-Black-Book drama and contemporaneous with his last marriage…is running for County Executive.

 

The back and forth in our quarter upon learning was something like: I feel drunk, but I’m not drinking. It’s just all the blood rushing to my overactive brain. This is just too crazy. Is this her way of showing him up? Her way of showing Jan Gardner up (for the demotion she received when her boyfriend wasn’t in charge anymore)? A two birds with one stone maneuver? And very most importantly, doesn’t she know that all anyone will talk about now is how she got involved with the married boss rumored to be into hookers, and then he got busted for solicitation? Just check the comments section of the FNP for proof. Things don’t change! And foresight ain’t her strong suit!

Ordinarily we would say a person’s private life doesn’t have anything to do with public office, and we really don’t know anything about her opinions on the issues, but we feel the same way about this dramedy with Blagina that we do about Anthony Weiner. At a certain point your judgment is just so unreliable that we are left to wonder: what other probably terrible decisions should you not be trusted with? We’re thinking, “All of them, County.”

And yet we have to kind of root for Ms. Williams here, given who her competition is. Because # is involved, so we have reason to rejoice. What kind of position does that put her habitually disgraced ex-fiancé in when the primary involves his obnoxious bestie and his former honey? The very idea is squeeeeeeee!

So at current count we have three candidates in the clown car, all very worthy of the clown status designation, including #Kirby Delauter and Kathy Afzali. And remember Afzali and her text spat a la teenager with Sheriff Jenkins? Because he (clearly accurately) called her juvenile names! Folks, we are–all of us–too old for this crap! Where are the grown people? This is going to be one interesting election. We have been of the mind that Frederick County is actually ahead of the national curve with regards to electing a buffoon and then collectively realizing oopsy-daisy-this-guy’s-crazy. Hopefully the sun is setting on the “any old fool will do” dreams. Remain vigilant (and remember: friends don’t let friends vote for looneytooneys).