At the Local Yokel headquarters ,we are bustling with anticipation to see how the first meeting of our second county council goes! Grab your trusty agenda, turn on the FCGTV, and let’s hope for better times ahead. Billy is no longer in any position to help y’all out, so remember this drinking game is just for fun!
The first items on the agenda are some handy dandy budget adjustments. Do we hear the ghosts of Billy’s abstentions lingering in the air?!
No, we do not!!! Mix yourself up a pint of Happy Pills to celebrate the end of that stupid era!
This first meeting will allow for the election of council officers, (remember the drama when Billy didn’t get to be president of the council?), scheduling of future council meetings, and appointments to boards and commissions. Let us cautiously sip on our Land of Happy while hoping everyone behaves like mature adults!
It will also be interesting to see who shows up for public comment this week! Will anyone show up bearing gifts? We’ll let you know how it all turns out!
We kinda feel cheated here. We thought there was going to be at least one more meeting for us to narrate, one more chance to wax nostalgic about these long four years. However, since Bud wisely decided to allow the next council to make a decision on the Monocacy River Plan, it is over. We are not about to let Kirby, Billy, and Tony leave without one last post! We’ve worked way too hard over this last term to just let them slink away under the cover of darkness.
We dove into the old Yokel archives to come up with a top five list for each of our least favorite FORMER (ah man, that feels good to type) council members!
Let’s start with Tony. Our biggest problem with him was his condescension towards the women on the council and Jan in particular. We’ve also heard that there are those down in Winchester Hall who are very happy they no longer have to put up with his mansplaining ways! Take a look back to when he tried to mansplain something that wasn’t even happening!!!
Every budget season Tony liked to compare the county budget to his very own small business. You know since Tony hasn’t made enough money to give his workers a raise, the county should operate along the same lines! Here’s a trip down memory lane to remind y’all just how long-winded and off course he could be.
Remember when Tony introduced the off-track betting bill and tried to tell us it was open to any restaurant ? We smelled a rat and decided to take Kirby’s advice to follow the money and guess what? We discovered it wasn’t really open to all! All kinds of fun!
What he will be most remembered for is launching his miserably failed write-in campaign! Sour grapes anyone?
It’s difficult to narrow down the list for Kirby as he gave us way too much material to work with. What we will remember most is his alternative budgets he would write every year. Budgets he had no authority to write, which often made no sense, and just wound up wasting everyone’s time. Go ahead and click here and here.
In more recent news, Kirby was NOT happy that he lost in the Republican primary for CE. And he wasn’t going down quietly. He specifically charged Danny Farrar with high crimes and misdemeanors for daring to campaign with Regina Williams. He also called a private citizen a POS for daring to go against him. Even the High Sheriff got called out! If you missed it, it is a MUST see.
No Kirby countdown is complete without mention of the flowchart. It is truly the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. When it first came to your Lady Yokel’s attention, we were gasping for air trying to breathe. All these years later it still brings a smile to our face.
Oh Billy, Billy, Billy. The most ineffectual of all of our first county council members. What he’ll probably most be remembered for is for his uncreative use of the word ABSTAIN. Billy thought since they didn’t have their own budget whisperer (despite them having the entire county budget department available to answer any questions) he could just take the next four years off. We still find it amusing that the person he and Kirby wanted as their budget person ran against Kirby in the CE primary, and according to Kirby ruined everything for him. The drama of Frederick County politics! You never know when someone is going to turn against ya!
There was a whole bunch of wedding venue drama associated with Billy. He didn’t care if a structure was deemed unsafe by the Fire Marshall and could have potentially killed a bunch of high school kids. He didn’t care if the people operating said wedding venue had the proper permits or if they even asked the people who actually owned the land if they could host weddings and parties. NONE of that mattered to him. It was quite a sight to behold, watching him trying to rationalize all this nonsense.
Billy’s rude behavior was a constant thorn in our side. He’s adopted the Trump way of speaking because : 1. He can’t think for himself, and 2. He reacts in anger when he doesn’t understand what is going on. Which was quite often. Here’s an example of when Billy took that anger out on one of our favorite county employees, Lori Depies.
What we will most remember about good ole Billy Shreve is the time he told the world that there are people on both sides of the human trafficking issue. He then proceeded to vote against every human trafficking bill that came before the council. Really folks, what kind of person votes against trying to stop human trafficking?
We’ll see how much we have to say with the new council. Things are looking pretty sane so far. Thank y’all for paying attention and voting these jokers out. We don’t need this type of legislating in our fine county!
We hope you have a big jug of water by your side all day today. Drink often. You’ll need to be fully hydrated ahead of tonight’s meeting. Grab your agenda and get ready for what could be a long one.
First up are two budget items. If Billy continues to gripe about not having enough staff before abstaining on his vote, swig back a bitchy bellini.
Next up are approval of minutes and an appointment confirmation. This will be followed by public hearing on the proposed sale of a county owned building. Serve yourself a Harvey Wallbanger just because.
Three Third Readings are on the agenda next. They all involve human trafficking. When short timer and “both sides” council member Shreve says anything dumb mix yourself a man of war.
It’s break time! Hydrate with more water. Your liver needs it.
First up after the break are several public hearings. Things could get testy. Steel your nerves with a bourbon pumpkin smash. Tony is up first with his perhaps personal vendetta led impartiality bill. Next up are some high adjustments to the fy2019 budget. This would move up the Oakdale Middle School addition, move up the design approval for a new east county elementary school, and move up the modernization/addition project at Brunswick High School. Drink an appletini to celebrate if all 3 are approved.
Last up for discussion is a budget item which involves lots of wins for fire/safety in Frederick County. Celebrate with a fire engine.
The meeting will end with council member comments. We are sure we won’t even care what Shrevelauter have to say. Best to return to drinking water. Don’t you have to adult tomorrow???
Your council thingy for today. Billy Shreve has a proposal. (Isn’t that the beginning of a spooky campfire tale?) Well, here, we were going to transcribe it, but have a screen grab for efficiency:
We are not “a lawyer”, but how does the County legislate the State? If the thing we think is a thing is a thing, chug a 40.
READER UPDATE: Anne Hicks (thank you, Anne!) points out that Billy wants these residences to be edible! Dipped in sewer sauce. YUM.
Next decision is whether or not the preferred bureaucracy gets to oversee a photovoltaic (that’s solar, yo) array at the Ballenger-McKinney wastewater treatment plant. This is for reasons of red tape and red tape minimization specifically. Billy will whine impertinently, because whining about solar is one of his hobbies, ranked just after rollerblading and growing out that mullet-tail. If we are also right about who whines here…do nothing. Because a serious horror show is coming, and you will want to be in top form for…
Grab your agenda, it’s time to continue our countdown to bye bye Shrelauter time. This week’s meeting starts with an EMS budget adjustment. We expect Billy will go ahead and abstain so slam back your favorite pumpkin flavored beer as a nod to Oktoberfest time.
Next up are a few executive appointments, and discussion of new business. Hydrate with some plain ole iced tea. The next section could get bumpy, and you need your wits about you to follow along.
It’s the third reading time for Adequate Public Facilities, adjustment of school construction fees. We know that this is a very important issue. Let’s hope common sense prevails here. Swing back a teacher’s aid. You’ll need it either way.
Break, and we resume with four public hearings. Two of these are by our short timer council members Shreve and Chmelik so we anticipate some whining and grand standing.
It’s the first meeting of Fall which means it’s the last season of Shrelauter and Friends! Tony decided not to accept the results of the election and is attempting a write-in campaign in order to ensure the victory of the Democratic candidate! Final days and write-in attempts pretty much ensure that we are in store for some pretty dramatic meetings. Go ahead and grab your agenda, fire up the FCGTV, and remember this is only for fun! Billy isn’t answering any calls from you ingrates!
The clock is a ticking on hearing Billy vote against the agenda, abstain from the budget adjustments, and vote against the minutes!! We can’t imagine any of the future candidates behaving this way. Tis a unique style of legislating! When this farce occurs slam back a thermos of Whiskey Sours. Because this behavior makes about as much sense as taking a boat out in the Monocacy after a hurricane!
Alderman/Director of Government Affairs, Roger Wilson is in the house to talk about proposed legislative initiatives for the upcoming session in Annapolis! Take a break from your liquor to listen to a smart person talk!
Lots of public hearings including the changes to the school construction fees. We predict this one will garner the most public speakers since overcrowded schools are a HUGE issue in this county. Give your liver a break and rehydrate!
Council member comments have turned into complaining sessions for “some” of our members. Sip on your Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice while attempting to hang on to your sanity.
It’s really hard to imagine a discussion in which you are going to hear arguments against preventing human trafficking. What kind of person do you have to be to not want to fight this terrible problem? Well, that’s exactly what a couple of county council members did last night.
It’s a short 47 minutes, so if you have the time go ahead and listen for yourself. Jessica used this workshop to discuss some changes to the three bills she introduced in a previous meeting. The first bill further defined what a bodyworks establishment is and defined exactly what sexual activity is considered to be. What does Billy have to say about this? NOTHING GOOD! He wants to know what is going to happen to all those peeps who want to privately have sex in their place of business. Both Jessica and the county lawyer have the extreme displeasure of telling Billy that has nothing to do with what is going on here! We sure hope that isn’t what’s happening down at Winchester Hall, Billy! Do we need Jan to appoint independent counsel to investigate?
The next bill concerns landlords who KNOWINGLY allow human trafficking on their property. Jessica begins the discussion by saying the amended bill further defines KNOWINGLY. Well, for some reason Kirby can’t get that concept down. He wants to know why we are making the landlords criminals when they can’t keep track of what’s going on at their properties. Jessica: KNOWINGLY. Kirby: Well it isn’t the landlord’s business and the police will take care of it. M.C. : KNOWINGLY. Kirby: You need to have evidence. KNOWINGLY, KNOWINGLY, KNOWINGLY!! Kirby agrees to disagree.
The last bill has to do with training front end hotel employees. Jessica asks a representative from the hotel industry and guess what? Most hotels already require this training! This bill will NOT require hotels to provide another training, should one already exist! Who’s going to muck this part up? Billy of course. Now he saw the disturbing video/quiz that PG county requires and he wants to see the Marriott one. However, all Billy wants to discuss is COST, COST, COST. The nice representative tells him there is no added cost because this is just a part of training and doing business. Billy says maybe for Marriott, but what about the Clarion Inn? (Wonder why he chose that specific example?) Billy is told that the Clarion has this training as well. Bud interjects to say that if you have this kind of activity going on at your hotel it damages your brand, so why wouldn’t you want to do everything you can to prevent it? Billy: COST! It is astounding to know that Billy is more concerned with the hotel industries bottom line over the safety of those being trafficked. Think of the children Billy!