We heard through the grapevine that the Council is getting a lot of feedback from the turkeys who think that we should just open everything back up. And hey, we get it. This is not good for the economy and people need to make money.
The solution to this should not be to risk exposure to a pandemic virus that (checks notes…dear Zeus…latest is that it might make your teeth fall out????…please do not full yokel on us, people). At any rate, the point is that the long term health effects are not yet known, the virus has killed one in every 1,000 North Dakotans. So far. It ain’t over yet, folks. No matter how tired we all are.
The solution should be for us to support people who have to stay home, not for all of us to go get Covid at our favorite restaurants and bars (which we DO love dearly and make our community the distinct and vibrant place that it is) so that they can still get a paycheck.
What we need to be sure of is that while we all do our Thanksgiving Day Oprah gratitude journaling like:
Dear Oprah’s Gratitude Journal, I am thankful that I have never met Cindy Rose, Dan Cox, or Danny Farrar live and in person and they have never had the opportunity to breathe or shout Covid on me directly.
We also send off some genuine gratitude to the people making the most responsible decisions possible to prevent the spread of the virus. You can reach your County Council and County Executive through these pages via the email link. There is no reason we should be opening bars and not schools, but these are the choices that are being forced upon us by people’s refusal to be responsible. Also, if you want to show our local hospital some support, for we all know they are about to get slammed, support our fundraiser on their behalf.
Every day seems to be getting crazier and crazier doesn’t it? Like we are in an endless spiral of terribleness that doesn’t seem to be easing up. The only bright spot is the very real and verifiable fact that Joseph R. Biden won the presidency! And, unless someone invents a new way of counting that makes positive numbers go negative, there’s nothing any of these goons can do about that!
We really aren’t too worried about all the legal challenges because just look at the head of the Trump legal team today:
We know it’s all just nonsense. But that hasn’t stopped Delegate Dan from riding on up to Pennsylvania to be a part of this very bad and dumb legal team. We’ve been going back and forth on Twitter with him, because as futile as it really is to argue with him there are others watching. Here’s a sampling of the Lord’s work we’ve been doing lately:
There is no steal no matter what these people would like you to think. It’s really amazing how these same people who claim they are Patriots and “TRUE” Americans, become just the opposite when the democratic process doesn’t go in their favor. Then, like magic, they are very fine fascists. Not to mention liars. They would rather light the Constitution on fire, destroy our institutions, and make all future elections seem nefarious than admit that their narcissistic, incompetent, man-child of a candidate lost. They would put our nation in danger’s way by not allowing the next administration the information they need to combat an ever growing threat of a global pandemic, because they cannot fathom that a majority of Americans decided we needed to go down another path. What kind of people are they? What kind of legislator is Cox? Not one we want to keep.
While we are on the subject of Cox, read this very fine article that explains how he lost YET another lawsuit in which his goal seems to be to get as many people killed by the pandemic as possible. What a hero! Remember this, folks, when he tries to run for Hough’s Senate seat in a few years time. We need to leave these people who work 100% on emotion, 0% on information, by the wayside once and for all. Vigilance!
We have to turn our attention to one more local group that seems to be bent on this very dangerous, false, and self-serving narrative about fraudulent votes. If you’ve been a long time reader of ours, you’ll remember that the Frederick Conservative Club was formed as a reaction to Kirby losing to Kathy Afzali in the County Executive Race back in 2018. Kirby turned on anyone who supported Kathy or Regina Williams and a new group (whose board members change quite frequently) was formed that allegedly represented the true conservatives of this fine county. *Notice the pattern of not accepting the outcome of elections*
Well, a few days ago an alert reader sent us some pictures that appeared on their Facebook page. A group of them rented a bus to go to the Thousands for MAGA parade, and upon return there were some photos posted. However the last two pictures were not of the MAGA parade but of two very separate and very far away events! This alert reader attempted to point out this very deceptive error to the MAGA folks, but instead of taking the pictures down they removed his comments and banned him from the page. We also checked the origin of the photos and behold exhibits A and B:
Deception seems to be the name of the game around here lately. YOU LOST, people, and as we told Dan Cox you really need to get through your stages of grief a lot quicker than this. Because, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, you are tearing this country apart and quite honestly you should be ashamed of yourselves.
If you want to see some great video of the Thousands MAGA March, look at this clip from the Daily Show, it really tells you all you need to know:
We know this election hasn’t even passed yet, but we need to keep a nice record of how everyone who will be seeking higher office around here is behaving in these dark times. We’ve had too much to say about Delegate Dan lately, because, well, he is terrible.
Even though he’s lost every idiotic lawsuit (even ones he copied and pasted) trying to fight public health measures because of REASONS that aren’t evident to most sensible folks, he’s forging ahead. Last night, we made a Facebook post regarding his defending two Harford County men who apparently threw a fit at their local polling location because they were asked to wear a mask. Instead of obtaining a absentee ballot OR voting at the outside location OR just putting a fucking piece of cloth over their faces for a couple of damn minutes, these two decided to disrupt everyone’s day and cause a colossal scene. Don’t they seem nice?!
Well, Delegate Dan jumped all over that. Worked up an idiotic constitutional claim that according to the Baltimore Sun, Judge Angela M. Eaves dismissed with these mighty fine words:
More harm would be done to the public at large than to the two Fallston men who filed the suit if they were allowed to vote without covering their faces during the COVID-19 pandemic, Harford County Circuit Judge Angela M. Eaves ruled.
“That disenfranchises everyone,” said Eaves, noting the pair’s request met none of the standards for a temporary restraining order. “That is the greater injury in this case.”
CORRECT! You can read the whole story for yourself. But, folks this isn’t even the worst of it. Yesterday afternoon Delegate Dan changed course. Instead of making a constitutional argument, he’s going to go with a biblical one. That’s right, biblical.
Now, the anti-maskers’ religious freedom is in danger of being flushed right down the toilet. BEHOLD:
The amended complaint adds a contention that Daniel Swain’s right to religious freedom was violated. Because Swain is a Christian, he was created “to breathe as part of our direct worship,” the complaint said, quoting Psalm 150:6 “let all that has breath praise the Lord.”
“Plaintiff Dan Swain believes in his religious right to breath oxygen and worship the Lord his creator with an uncovered face, including while he votes, and not with a muzzle, face covering or mask, and as such has had his religious freedom violated,” the complaint states.
We here at the Yokel thought it would be fun to gather some biblical quotes about why you shouldn’t sue! Because if Delegate Dan wants to throw around bible quotes when it comes to very serious public health issues, then we’ll throw some out there that show he shouldn’t be doing any of this to begin with!
When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, …
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.
If you missed the article in the FNP about Delegate Dan retweeting debunked crazyland theories, take a gander. This needs to be his last term in office in our fine county. Aren’t all of our crazy cups already all filled up?
Your first option is to vote by mail. Click here to request your ballot. You must do it by October 15th. Make sure you use black or another dark ink to fill in your oval completely for each one of your choices. Secondly, sign the back! If you don’t sign the back your ballot will not be counted and you’ve gone and disenfranchised yourself! Once that ballot is good and ready you have two more options. Either drop it in the mail OR
You can drop your ballot in one of the many Drop Box locations that are set up around the county:
Here’s a handy dandy link to track the status of your ballot to give you that extra piece of mind. Hell, they will even send you an email when they’ve collected your ballot out of the drop box!
If you requested a mail in ballot and then decide to vote in person, be aware that you will have to fill out a provisional ballot at the polling center.
If you want to vote in person, that is still happening as well. Early voting begins on October 26th this year. You can visit any of these locations which are open from 7:00am-8:00pm through November 3rd:
It’s been a good long while since we’ve done a drinking game. This evening’s debate seemed like a good time to get back into the game! You may be asking why a local political blog is creating a game based on a national debate, and that answer to that, in the words of Speaker Tip O’Neill, is all politics is local. This couldn’t be more evident than it is today. You can use suggestions from thispageto concoct your poison, or just get your favorite beer or wine. Remember this is for entertainment purposes only! If you play this game to the conclusion of the debate you will die!
Everytime you hear a word listed below or see an event described take place take a sip. And we mean a sip! This debate is going to be a doozy!
I don’t know about you, but we Yokels are exhausted. Daily we are bombarded with news that just keeps getting worse. Unwanted hysterectomies , meltdown by a top official, the west coast is on fire, it’s hurricane season and oh, don’t forget the pandemic is still very real. Sadly we just learned of the passing of the notorious RBG. Icon. 2020 just keeps on sucking.
The latest Maryland statistics show our numbers are increasing. Nevertheless, folks are clamoring for FCPS to start fall sports and send kids back to school. What data are the masses using to justify this change? Has anyone seen any data about Covid-19 in areas where sports are being played or where schools are open? How many deaths are ok? Are student or teacher illnesses more acceptable?Can we get transparency from our local health department about how many cases of Covid-19 have occurred since preseason training commenced?
Have you heard about Archbishop Spaulding? What is the logic of moving to virtual for 2 days? It will be interesting to see how that plays out. What about this poor coach, who was 29 years old?
I know we all want our kids to be able to get back to normal. But in case you haven’t noticed, nothing is fucking normal around here anymore, and there is no end in sight. Let’s try and learn something from the countries that had this under control and opened back up and are surging again.
Don’t just say, “All the states around us are doing it, we should too!” Let’s hope that the BOE and Superintendent Alban are using data and not feelings, not the other counties/states/countries are in school/playing sports are so we should too bandwagon. Otherwise, they are saying that teachers and students lives aren’t valuable and some of you guys are expendable. Mmmkay?
And let your voice of reason be heard, cause we’ve been hearing the BOE has been getting bombarded by the voices of the Covid deniers.
Current Board Members
Brad W. Young, President, Board of Education Current elected term: December 2018-December 2022
This came upon your Lady Yokel’s inbox this evening, and while we are very much on board with this message (just type human trafficking into our search engine) we also have very long memories.
Once upon a time…let’s say about 4 years ago…Councilwoman Jessica Fitzwater put forth a bill to form a committee to study and address human trafficking in Frederick County. The usual characters were against this, and Billy went so far as to say there were people for and against human trafficking! Well, we also remember the new owner of the Tentacle, one Cindy Rose, was not on board with all of this human trafficking hullabaloo. In fact she said that it wasn’t even a local issue. Behold exhibit one:
So back in the day (4 short years ago) any effort to combat human trafficking was part of some nefarious teacher union ploy. What has changed Cindy’s tune?! Could it be?…..
It is nice to see Cindy coming around to Jessica’s POV, especially after some of the nasty things she’s written about her on the noodlely appendage lately. (We are not going to link to that garbage.) We also do not want to disparage anyone for coming to the right side of an issue. However, given her past reluctance to treat this as a serious issue AND the recent Qanon conspiracies we can only assume that this rally has more to do with baseless conspiracies than it does with actual human trafficking victims. Stay vigilant folks, and don’t forget to vote!
The biggest D-K sufferer in our fine county is one Delegate Dan who decided to file a copy and pasted lawsuit in federal court against the State of Maryland for the very high crime of attempting to protect public health in the face of a poorly understood and dangerous novel Coronavirus. You can search on back through our last couple of posts to read more on all he’s done around here lately. This post will focus more on his fitness to lead any kind of movement at all.
Lots and lots of other factors at work during the post-Civil War Industrialization period in American History! The paper also concludes that war pensions allowed Civil War veterans the time to find higher paying work. Guess Dan would rather the men who served their country toil away in low paying jobs for all eternity.
Let’s move onto his irony statement since 1. He has 0.0 evidence that the Southern and Western states are leading any kind of economic recovery 2. That’s not what irony means. His pandering to politics comment is super rich considering that is exactly what he is doing! Now that’s some irony for ya! We aren’t even going to discuss the conspiracy theories he espouces regarding Trump’s re-election prospects because there’s only so much we Yokel gals can take on in a day.
Couple the Dunning Kruger effect with John Oliver’s assessment that America is the most defiant nation on the planet and we are left with a lot of questions as to how we will survive this pandemic. There’s a lot being written about how our culture makes it really hard to institute these necessary restrictions, and that really is sad. Look, none of us like being out of work, away from our friends and family, the economic uncertainty, or the fear of getting sick or actually dying from Covid-19. Despite Dan’s, previous assertion that this virus only affects a certain portion of the population (which is turning out to change daily) no one really knows how this disease will affect them, and that’s what makes it so dangerous. So instead of advocating for the arrest of Bill Gates:
Perhaps we should should start a new hashtag: #ArrestDanCox. For his actions are far more dangerous than anything Bill Gates has done.
A better way to help ensure we can get back to normal life is to understand who is infected with this disease so they can be strictly quarantined, and the rest of us can be more safely distanced from them while being more actively engaged in society. It would also be helpful to know who has been infected, but hey, baby steps. We are only a few months into this, and we had…just…some months of time to observe that bad stuff was happening in a westward moving wave from Asia to Europe to “it’s all under control/the heat kills it/you just go to work and get well.”
It’s hard not to notice the glaring difference between The Helpers and The Utterly Useless, or the Actively Destructive. In fact, lets downgrade people who encourage public protests that block up traffic and prevent people from taking care of essential business such as saving lives, selling food, and delivering necessities from the “useless” to the “destructive” column.
Today’s award-winning helper, who also deserves an Emmy for his press conference production style today: GOVERNOR LARRY HOGAN. Credit should be shared with his wife, the First Lady of Maryland, Yumi Hogan. She helped to negotiate the purchase and delivery of 500,000 tests from South Korea. They intend to keep the details of this delivery on the down low because President-Bigly-Dealmaker-who-couldn’t-be-bothered’s administration has been causing problems for the states, while using taxpayer dollars to offset businesses’ shipping charges while encouraging bidding wars among the states so that the businesses increase their profit margins even more. Just look at what happened in Illinois, racing to a McDonald’s parking lot to hand off a check to make the purchase of personal protective equipment. All of which is dangerous to our front line healthcare workers. Like Cox spending his time writing petulant letters, Orange hAirhorn spends all of his time having petulant press briefings.
We couldn’t help but interpret the appearance of this flag as not just a gracious thank you to South Korea, but a slight to our useless government. How sad is it that we have to do rely on our state building its own alliance with a foreign power (the president of which referred to Hogan as a “son-in-law”).
And while we are on the subject of South Korea, the United States of America identified their first cases of COVID-19 infection on the same day as South Korea. The results of having a competent and prepared government versus what we have, which is a raging dumpster fire–how stark and appalling. And it appears to be much better for both human health and the economy. So maybe Hogan is right and Cox should put down his pen and take up a hobby. Maybe learn a second language. May we suggest that fluency in Korean would be an asset?
Scroll back through our last few postsand you will see that we’ve had a lot to say about our local characters and their reaction to the pandemic crisis. Over these past few days we’ve had the severe displeasure of seeing an elected official, whose supporters repeatedly have to remind everyone that he’s “an attorney,” risk his constituents’ health in order to toe the Trump line. Take a gander at this letter he penned to Governor Hogan.
Why doesn’t Mr. Attorney know about
2016 Maryland Code Public Safety Title 14 – Emergency Management Subtitle 3A – Governor’s Health Emergency Powers § 14-3A-03. Governor’s orders?
Click through the link to become more educated!
It gets worse, because of course it does. He’s also advocating that everyone go on down to Annapolis today and clog the hell out of traffic. Because that’s not dangerous at all in a health crisis…He also makes some claims that make it seem as though he’s the one inflating the numbers around here!
Then this morning, well it just got weird:
This is going to take awhile to mire through, but hell we are good, compassionate citizens who are keeping our asses at home, so we’ve got time!
We KNOW that those of us who are compassionate, caring citizens are wearing our face coverings. We don’t look upon our fellow citizens as carjackers or robbers because we are smart enough to discern the difference.
We KNOW all the hard work our teachers put into continuing our children’s education and how much talent and skill it takes to do so. We will not fall for false equivalencies.
We KNOW (because two of us have children who are seniors this year) that it is indeed disappointing to miss out on certain celebrations. But it is necessary, and our children realize it is necessary, and they do not feel sorry for themselves.
We KNOW how poorly the national Republicans handled are handling this crisis, and how they have blood on their hands from their inaction.
We KNOW that it is an act of charity to stay home. While we are all missing out on things we like to do, we know it isn’t going to be forever. Nobody is preventing anybody from worshipping the deity of their choice. Leave the religious persecution complex at the door, please!
We KNOW how caring citizens do everything they can to support the local businesses in their area and how our local government is doing everything in its power to offer those businesses a helping hand.
We KNOW that the state government is doing the best they can in a completely novel situation and has a bunch of naysayers questioning them though they know no better. (Less better, in fact.)
We KNOW that because necessary orders were put into place, we do not fare as badly as other less cautious states. And for that, we will be eternally grateful.
We CAN NOT tolerate the woefully ignorant and uncompassionate around us, even if they somehow slithered into elected office. ESPECIALLY if they slithered their way into elected office.
Our muse, the Wonkette, has an excellent post about a Trump advisor likening these reopen people to Rosa Parks. We’ll drop it here because we couldn’t have said it any better:
If you are curious about what our fellow Marylanders were up to in Annapolis today, take a look here: