We aren’t out of a hobby yet!

Ladies and gentlemen, Frederick Countians of all ages, we regret to inform you that we are some bit afeared of what we are hoping is not a trend. The early part–and extremely educational segment–of the meeting was focused on the budget decision held over from the previous meeting with regards to allowing the health department to buy a vehicle. In order for Phil Dacey to better understand the situation, Dr. Barbara Brookmyer came and gave an awesome tutorial, and we are all the better for knowing what we know now. Recommended viewing, in fact. Much like the Human Trafficking Workshop of the previous council, we learned a lot about a matter that has serious impact upon the well-being of our community.

Today we learned the health department is a dually led entity that is part state and part county. The state wants the county to procure a vehicle for a safe syringes program. NB: this will not cost the county money. The program in the state of Maryland involves several different mandatory elements, including collecting dirty needles, supplying clean needles, and undergoing disease testing for stuff like HIV and hepatitis C. Reasons they would like for this program to be successful in Frederick County include our geographic location on “The Heroin Highway” and our neighboring two abysmally afflicted counties in West Virginia. Dr. Brookmyer used a specific example of a jurisdiction that traced all 190 HIV cases to a single syringe, she stressed that the price of treating a single case of HIV can run to $600,000 (times 190 is $114,000,000.00) and a clean syringe costs 10 whole cents (times 190 is $19.00. Cost benefits analysis, bro.

Other reasons they would like to keep this thing mobile is the NIMBY’s preferring not to have a drug treatment program run on their corner (Weird, right! Have y’all heard about our totally uncontroversial Downtown Frederick Marriott, though?) and also that our county is hugenormous, and furthermore that people who do the drugs don’t necessarily come to your central office, especially because often they are not super interested in going to all that trouble for the express purpose of not doing the drugs. However, meeting them where they are at often establishes relationships that show them where to go and who will help when they do decide they ready to stop doing the drugs. Phil Dacey told us basically that it’s cool if many of us are infected with HIV, because he is a libertarian ideologue. Besides, he notes that he’s better than we think because he didn’t call it Uber for Needles. Har har. Honk if you love Frednecks in a suit. Opioids anyone? Hat tip to M.C. Keegan-Ayer for the adult perspective of child rearing in the days where your kids have lost someone to drugs. By all means, ideologue away by your lonesome. This decision passed 6-1, but at least our NewBilly can say “nay.”

There were also presentations on Public Information Act Requests, and Ethics, and Open Meetings. We learned all kinds of wise advice from this. You should not write out things you don’t want to see in print. Also probably don’t send your Anthony Weiner if you don’t want to see it in the news. That part, which we like to think was implied, was not covered, nor was, “He won’t buy the cow, dear, if you give him the milk for free,” but mostly this stuff was common sense responsibility. Also, too, no public money campaigning (but what about if you want to put your campaign sign and the Boy Scouts in Winchester Hall…still no? ok then…).

Then we had the final brouhaha in which we both kind of agree with Phil Dacey and simultaneously are in danger of having a stroke. He does not want to go into closed session to talk to the BOE appointee who would potentially fill Ken Kerr’s vacated seat, because he feels that elected people get elected in public, not quietly in an office. That’s true, and everyone kind of sees what he is saying, but there’s some reluctance to just up and change everything on this candidate mid-process because this was how they handled personnel changes before, and because doing like that’s frankly a bit obnoxious and unprofessional. Lots of back and forth ensues about whether or not they will ask this candidate about willingness to answer stuff in public, but he is still going to vote no about the closed session motion. At this point we are screaming at our TV: HOW WILL YOU ASK HER TO DO THAT IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE AND GO ASK? When will this magic take place? Please make it stop!!!!

Party Bonus: Dacey brought a fan club for public comment. Then Steve McKay reined that in with some diplomacy and knowledge about the authority behind this BOE replacement idea, which is The Code of Maryland Regulations (a.k.a. COMAR).

 

Top 5 Yokel posts of 2018! What a spectacular year in local politics!

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Time to get out the soap and bactine and start anew!

Since way back in 2015, we’ve ended the year with a recap of our Top Five posts of the year! This election year was contentious with a lot of betrayal, at least that’s the way Kirby framed it all. Here’s our fifth most read post of the year:

5. Where in the World is the High Sheriff? Oh Crap….

Our High Sheriff has spent way too much time on Fox News and visiting the White House pontificating on border issues while we face much more pressing issues here at home. ICYMI, click on the above link to bear witness to the fear mongering he and Fox News have become so adept at.

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All decked out in his finery!

4. The Hate Slate Makes Its Debut. 

While we cannot take credit for the moniker, we thought it was a perfect description of Cindy Rose and her merry band of minions who attempted, oh so poorly, to take over the BoE. Click above to read through their first press release and the corrections we asked a teacher to make for us!

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How could the authors of this #SAD diatribe think we could trust them with our children’s education?

 

3. Picturegate.

Remember the time that Kathy Afzali and crew thought it would be a good idea to photoshop Phil Dacey into a picture with the governor? The judgement of some folks!

 

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So very poorly and stupidly done!

 

2. Click, Clack, No!

Oh, who could forget the time that Cindy Rose labeled a beloved children’s book union propaganda? When we contacted the author she was even aghast at Cindy’s interpretation. What times we live in!

 

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And our most read post of the year: TFW the local Republicans go Cannibal!

The threads on Facebook concerning the ultimate betrayal of voting for anyone besides Kirby is a sight to behold! If you missed this gem, be sure to click back through. Here’s a little taste:

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We can see you folks!

Can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store for us!

Hopefully 2019 will be better. Your In and Out list of 2018.

In the midst of government shut-downs, ill-advised military withdrawals, and a general feeling of all is lost, it is important to remember our local victories! We’ve kinda gone into sleep mode here, with the new county council settling in like adults, and no election in the near future, we can rest up a bit. Not that Trump and his constant blunderings makes that easy for us. However, you have to look for the breath of fresh air amongst the total shit storm we find ourselves in.

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Over and over and over again!

Therefore we present to you your 2018 Frederick Local Yokel In and Out list!

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Don’t miss the meeting tonight!

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If everyone plays nice this could be our resolution!

Grab your agenda and tune in tonight. Your Yokels are all kinds of holiday stressed out. No time to dream up a witty drinking game. Anyone placing bets on whether Dacey shows tonight? Just keep a bottle of your favorite winter beverage handy. We hope to see the continuance of civility tonight. Have a drink if it does, or two if it doesn’t.

 

We don’t know how to react to all this niceness!

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We are going to need an adjustment period!

We want a functional county council, really we do. Now that it seems that we have one, we don’t know how to behave!!!! There was no outrage to be had, no cursing at the screens, no sarcastic comments to make! It really shines a light on just how bad things were with Billy, Kirby, and Tony on the dais.

Here’s a list of what happened:

-M.C. is unanimously voted President of the County Council.

-Mike Blue is unanimously voted Vice President.

-Rick Harcum does a quick Budget 101 run-down. All budget adjustments are UNANIMOUSLY VOTED FOR. M.C. repeats this various times during the meeting tonight, as though she couldn’t quite believe it either! We are assuming Rick was relieved not to need to give remedial and redundant explanations.

-Meetings will now start at 5:30 instead of 4:30. Public hearings will still be held at 7:00.

-The council is informed of the various committees and roles they will play. Committee assignments will be chosen at the next meeting.

Council member comments also went well. Phil Dacey made a joke about not needing to really show up tonight due to the unanimous votes. Then, he said he wouldn’t be around for the next meeting. That may be one thing we need to keep our eye on! Phil has a history of missing many meetings during his time as an Frederick City Alderman.

We ended the meeting by enjoying a single glass of wine in celebration of having adults on the dais.

 

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Try watching the next meeting!

Cautiously optimistic happy fun time!

At the Local Yokel headquarters ,we are bustling with anticipation to see how the first meeting of our second county council goes! Grab your trusty agenda, turn on the FCGTV,  and let’s hope for better times ahead. Billy is no longer in any position to help y’all out, so remember this drinking game is just for fun!

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Alright Daffy, let’s not put a dark cloud on the meeting already!

The first items on the agenda are some handy dandy budget adjustments. Do we hear the ghosts of Billy’s abstentions lingering in the air?!

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Git on outta here!

No, we do not!!! Mix yourself up a pint of Happy Pills to celebrate the end of that stupid era!

This first meeting will allow for the election of council officers, (remember the drama when Billy didn’t get to be president of the council?), scheduling of future council meetings, and appointments to boards and commissions. Let us cautiously sip on our Land of Happy while hoping everyone behaves like mature adults!

It will also be interesting to see who shows up for public comment this week! Will anyone show up bearing gifts? We’ll let you know how it all turns out!

Oh, they are not getting off this easy! Your Yokel good-bye post to the three amigos!

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Listen to Buster, there is no need for such dramatics!

We kinda feel cheated here. We thought there was going to be at least one more meeting for us to narrate, one more chance to wax nostalgic about these long four years. However, since Bud wisely decided to allow the next council to make a decision on the Monocacy River Plan, it is over. We are not about to let Kirby, Billy, and Tony leave without one last post! We’ve worked way too hard over this last term to just let them slink away under the cover of darkness.

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We are not quite done…YET!

We  dove into the old Yokel archives to come up with a top five list for each of our least favorite FORMER (ah man, that feels good to type) council members!

Let’s start with Tony. Our biggest problem with him was his condescension towards the women on the council and Jan in particular. We’ve also heard that there are those down in Winchester Hall  who are very happy they no longer have to put up with his mansplaining ways! Take a look back to when he tried to mansplain something that wasn’t even happening!!!

Every budget season Tony liked to compare the county budget to his very own small business. You know since Tony hasn’t made enough money to give his workers a raise, the county should operate along the same lines! Here’s a trip down memory lane to remind y’all just how long-winded and off course he could be.

Remember when Tony introduced the off-track betting bill and tried to tell us it was open to any restaurant ? We smelled a rat and decided to take Kirby’s advice to follow the money and guess what? We discovered it wasn’t really open to all! All kinds of fun!

Let us also remember when he introduced legislation to ensure that the planning commission didn’t hold any political beliefs. We dug around a little and found out this was directed at Bob and Carole because he didn’t like something he saw on Facebook!  Oh the petty dramas we’ve seen on Facebook this year!

What he will be most remembered for is launching his miserably failed write-in campaign! Sour grapes anyone?

It’s difficult to narrow down the list for Kirby as he gave us way too much material to work with. What we will remember most is his alternative budgets he would write every year. Budgets he had no authority to write, which often made no sense, and just wound up wasting everyone’s time. Go ahead and click here and here.

Kirby’s thrown a lot of online hissy fits, but besides the time he made national news when he threatened to sue a reporter over using his name, our second favorite has to be when he refused to donate to the Catoctin athletic department because he couldn’t grab up all the county contracts. Way to keep it classy!

Kirby also has trouble distinguishing dictatorships from a democratically elected executive office! We will never forget the lesson plan we put together to help him distinguish the difference!

In more recent news, Kirby was NOT happy that he lost in the Republican primary for CE. And he wasn’t going down quietly. He specifically charged Danny Farrar with high crimes and misdemeanors for daring to campaign with Regina Williams.  He also called a private citizen a POS for daring to go against him.  Even the High Sheriff got called out! If you missed it, it is a MUST see.

No Kirby countdown is complete without mention of the flowchart. It is truly the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. When it first came to your Lady Yokel’s attention, we were gasping for air trying to breathe. All these years later it still brings a smile to our face. 

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We just had to put it here as well! Jessica still has not answered these charges against her! LOLOLOLOL!

Oh Billy, Billy, Billy. The most ineffectual of all of our first county council members. What he’ll probably most be remembered for is for his uncreative use of the word ABSTAIN. Billy thought since they didn’t have their own budget whisperer (despite them having the entire county budget department available to answer any questions) he could just take the next four years off.  We still find it amusing that the person he and Kirby wanted as their budget person ran against Kirby in the CE primary, and according to Kirby ruined everything for him. The drama of Frederick County politics! You never know when someone is going to turn against ya!

There was a whole bunch of wedding venue drama associated with Billy. He didn’t care if a structure was deemed unsafe by the Fire Marshall and could have potentially killed a bunch of high school kids. He didn’t care if the people operating said wedding venue had the proper permits or if they even asked the people who actually owned the land if they could host weddings and parties. NONE of that mattered to him. It was quite a sight to behold, watching him trying to rationalize all this nonsense. 

Billy’s rude behavior was a constant thorn in our side. He’s adopted the Trump way of speaking because : 1. He can’t think for himself, and 2. He reacts in anger when he doesn’t understand what is going on. Which was quite often. Here’s an example of when Billy took that anger out on one of our favorite county employees, Lori Depies.

Let us not forget when Billy lost his keys, couldn’t have his coveted parking space, and accused Bud Otis of telling him to “get on his knees”. This caused Billy to threaten to file a sexual harassment complaint! He then said  if this was appropriate language then he was going to start using it on the dais! As though he was holding himself back!

What we will most remember about good ole Billy Shreve is the time he told the world that there are people on both sides of the human trafficking issue. He then proceeded to vote against every human trafficking bill that came before the council. Really folks, what kind of person votes against trying to stop human trafficking?

 

 

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The kind that gets his ass handed to him in a primary election!

We’ll see how much we have to say with the new council. Things are looking pretty sane so far.  Thank y’all for paying attention and voting these jokers out. We don’t need this type of legislating in our fine county!

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Not this time!