frederick local yokel

A humorous yet informative look at politics in Frederick County, Maryland.

Clean up on Aisle 5!

Three hours people! Three hours we suffered tonight. Your Nasty Lady Yokels were commenting to one another throughout tonight’s fracas how boooring Kirby and Billy’s antics have become. It used to be mildy amusing to watch, then infuriating, and now we are oh so melancholy about them. It’s kind of like the five stages of grief. The five stages of watching Shrelauter:

Stage One: Benign Amusement

Stage Two: Disbelief

Stage Three: Horror

Stage Four: Clinical Depression

Stage Five: A new found purpose to make sure that these two never get elected again so we can have a functional county government.

Digression over. Let’s wrap up tonight’s display.

Vote of no from you know who on the agenda. His wonder twin utters yes as though it’s some kind of brave protest against saying the proper aye. Budget amendments passed.

High Sheriff is in the house for discussion of the noise ordinance. Seems annoyed with Shreve. Doesn’t want how often noise meters need to be calibrated written into ordinance. Wonder what stage of Shrelauter the Sheriff is on? Will be voted on November 1.

Now it’s time for the long awaited presentation about Citizens and Montevue. Here’s some slides for you to peruse:2016-10-25-1




There’s more to it, so you can always watch that part of the meeting if you want to see the whole thing. And you know that two people are going to be upset about this. Kirby admits that even though he had all of the documents pertaining to this since May, he didn’t read it because it could have changed! That’s right, no reading until Kirby is sure nothing will change. Billy pipes up, “Look how much the MOU changed.” So, basically, even though these two have complained for months that they wanted the information, they’ve had it since May! But nobody told them it wasn’t going to change!! So keep your comments to yourselves! Kirby then wastes everyone’s time talking about National vs. State vs. Aurora’s averages when it comes to different measures of the nursing home. And we are glad to hear that Aurora is doing well, since they are going to continue providing care. However, at this point, he’s just wasting everyone’s time.  Billy chimes in trying to land zingers which fall to the ground like burnt out fire works. He is met on every point by Doug and Lori. Later, during his council member comments, he compares the presentation to something you would watch on TV with a beer (not sure what he’s watching), but we wholly disagree. Thanks for all you do Doug and Lori!

We break before the hotel hearing for ten minutes. Doug is back and goes over some of the changes to the MOU. There are more pro speakers than con (again). Kirby decides to read a letter from Randy Cohen into the record. Jessica wants three minutes put on the clock since technically this is public comment. Kirby and Billy throw mantantrums and shut her down. Bud asks them to treat each other with respect to which Kirby screams, “That’s right we have a civility code!” Sigh. Why does one citizen get the right to read his email into the record by a council member? Kirby claims its because he has skin in this game. But we can’t help but feel how unfair this is. If it was so important to him then Mr. Cohen should have showed up to the meeting or had a representative do so. Kirby should not be reading one citizen’s letter into the record, thereby giving the appearance that his opinion is more important.  M.C. tries once again to redirect the discussion back to the task at hand. Which is approving an MOU in which the county will only contribute. $2.8 million for public improvements. The county has no hand in anything else to do with this. Tony steps in with THAT tone. You know ladies, that mansplaining tone that he only seems to get with M.C. and Jessica. WE DO NOT CARE FOR IT ONE BIT.  MOU is passed 4-3.

…..Council Member Comments…….

Just horrible. Kirby’s upset. Calls Main Street money the Great Bribe Back. Lets us know that Obama Care is killing everyone. That’s right everyone! Tony’s mad about a letter that he agrees with but since he thinks it’s all about electing Democrats, it’s bad. He’s got some words about Billy’s uncle and the way he was treated. And then so does Billy, claims is the third time he’s seen this situation, but of course no details. So there!


M.C. says she goes next to last because she feels like she always needs to clean up on Aisle 5. And LOL! Is there a dust pan big enough to contain Shrelauter? Says she has documents about the whole situation on Ijamsville Road which shows some fault lies upon the homeowner. We really feel for M.C. she always tries to bring the outliers back to task. It’s a hard exasperating job, and we really appreciate her for it!




It’s poll time again!

So if you are like us, and we are going to assume you are since you are reading, you have been anxiously awaiting the results from our last poll in which you picked out ringtones for the members of the council. We are going to have to apologize in advance to anyone who happens to be nearby when the phones ring. It could get embarrassing.


Ermahgerd, can you believe who is calling us???











And finally our infotainment selection:


It’s pretty hard to follow up those polls. So much serious stuff is going on at the national level. Is it election day yet?

So to try to keep things light(ish), we have this week’s poll. Have you been keeping up with the proposed downtown hotel? What is your verdict?

Ok, so maybe it won’t look exactly like this…




What does this week have in store for us? Your October 25th drinking game.

Among charges of sexual harassment and the County Executive targeting Billy’s relatives we have another county council meeting. The closer to the election we get, the more out of control Shrelauter becomes. So brace yourselves dear readers, for we fear the worst is yet to come. As always, remember this game is for entertainment purposes only. We don’t want anyone ending up in the detox tank!


Poor little bunny just couldn't take it anymore.
Poor little bunny just couldn’t take it anymore.

We start off with Public Comment and a new disclaimer about budget adjustments:

The Council will not discuss individual Budget Adjustment items and will vote on all the Budget Adjustments in the form of one motion. Council Members wishing to discuss one or more of the Budget Adjustments shall make a request to the President at least 24 hours in advance of the meeting, stating the issue(s) to be addressed and requesting administration staff be present for discussion of that budget adjustment. Provided a majority of the Council support the request, the item will be subject to discussion by the Council.

Well what about those council members who don’t bother to read anything until they sit down for the meeting? Jeeze, isn’t this discriminatory against those who, in the spirit of Donald Trump, do not believe preparation is necessary? When you hear something along those lines have yourself a nice cool Something in the Whey.

Next up is the 2nd reading on changes to the noise ordinance. The High Sheriff is very much in favor of this. Billy is the only one adding “unreasonable amendments” at this point. We’ll most likely hear some stories from the public regarding issues they’ve had with their neighbors. So sit back and sip on your Monkey Gland, and we’ll see how this all goes down during the 3rd reading.

Now we are all going to have to brace ourselves for this part of the evening. Lori Depies and Doug Browning are going to give a presentation about Citizens and Montevue. Shrelauter has been going off at the mouth about this for months and months. We hope that Ms. Depies and Mr. Browning are prepared for the certain onslaught they are going to recieve from our two favorite nincompoops. We are glad this is settled, so in Ms. Depies and Mr. Brownings honor, mix up a batch of About Thyme.

Everyone reconvenes at 6:00. (Guess Billy won the war on the time.) From what we’ve seen in the paper and Facebook pages about the Downtown Hotel project, we are probably in store for a long hearing about the MOU tonight. Settle in and make a large bowl of Ambassador’s Punch. Since it’s probably going to take an Ambassador’s touch to get the pro and con people to come together.

There’s no doubt that Council Member comments will be something to behold this evening. To avoid any permanent liver damage, grab yourself a can of your favorite fruit flavored sparkling water and re-hydrate!

#KirbyDelauter has ideas. Trigger warning: language & sexual assault

In his grand personal tradition of social media indiscretion Kirby shall forge ahead. He has what he thinks is a clever funny thing to say about Our Next President Clinton, but in case folks were too dumb to catch his meaning, someone went ahead and spelled it out with Kirby’s blessing and encouragement. And his friend thinks Trump should assault her, like Trump likes to do. Hey, every guy’s got his own traditions, right?

If the basket fits.
If the basket fits.

Good job trying to take the heat off of Billy Shreve. You’re a real peach, champ.


We are going to need a GoFundMe to keep up with Billy’s antics.

Every day people. Sometimes twice a day. Billy’s horrible political instincts+ a complete lack of logic= endless writing opportunities. We’ve already had one today! Well, we can’t let this new issue go without comment.  If you follow our most idiotic council member on his Facebook page you may have noticed this:



We are back to tagging Blaine!
Look who’s tagging Blaine again!

Sigh. We’ve seen a variation of this going around the Facebook world for about a week now. We’ve been waiting for actual journalists to step up and investigate this story and oh did they ever.

(Side note: In addition to the Frederick News Post, don’t forget about Katherine Heerbrandt’s new website for all of your actual investigative journalism needs.)

In today’s FNP there is a story explaining both the county and the landowner’s (who just happens to be Billy’s uncle) side of the story. The widening of Ijamsville Road has been a years long project. According to the article,  in closed session, the BOCC voted to give Billy’s uncle $14, 230 ,which after a bunch of amenities were added on, got inflated to $109,233. The first issue here is that Billy claims he recused himself from the discussion of the property improvements, but maybe he sorta kinda came back in when the actual vote took place:

Minutes from the Jan. 24, 2013, meeting show that the improvements were passed by a 5-0 vote among the five-member board.

Nothing to see here people! Billy will never, ever admit he did anything untoward!
Nothing to see here people! Billy will never, ever admit he did anything untoward!

Why would you step out during the discussion and then come back to vote? Did not one person think that may not be a smart thing to do? Anyway…so a new form of government comes into being. Jan looks at this and thinks perhaps it’s way too much money to spend:

After Gardner was elected, county staff recommended in the Dec. 15, 2014, memo that the county go back to offering the property owners the original compensation amount of $14,230, or move forward with the project without using the property.

This past spring, the family told the county that they would not accept the lower offer on the easement, according to county documents.

The county ultimately decided to redesign the project to take property from the other side of the road and avoid involving the Olden property, Gardner said.

Obtaining an easement across the street cost about $44,000, which Gardner said saved more than $60,000 over the county commissioners’ plan.

“The prior administration was willing to add amenities to a property and pay well over the value of the property that was needed,” Gardner wrote in response to questions about the project. “This sets a poor precedent and could result in other property owners asking for similar improvements and payment well above property value. This could add significant cost to a project.”

So the landowner would not accept the original amount offered to him so the county said alrighty then we’ll just use the other side of the street. So how does that make the county land thieves? How is deciding not to pay someone over $100,000 a crime against nature itself? We are growing oh so very tired of Billy’s overreactions and tantrums that we seriously don’t know if we can make it through the next two years. It is so awful to have to listen to him drone on about things he knows nothing about, spew insults at Bud during council meetings and basically make us all look like a bunch of buffoons for electing him to an at-large council office.  And we really feel for the workers who are going to have to put up with this:

Olden said the project was an attempt by the county to crush the little guy and do whatever it wants.

He plans to sit outside the house to block any work on the property without his permission.

“I’m going to sit my big, fat ass on my property, and I ain’t moving,” Olden said.

In two years time, we have to make sure that the swamp we drain is the one that Billy stands upon.

You as well Billy! GET OUT!
You as well Billy! GET OUT!

A day ending in y. Again.

Yes, folks, Billy is again doing something stupid.

Today there is a letter to the editor printed in the Frederick News Post vilifying everyone but himself for the incident. ICYMI: he inappropriately hosted and photographed the Boy Scouts in the house of our county government–the one run by Democrats and Republicans alike–all adorned with Trump campaign materials. The nerve of this man child, really.

He insists that everyone else apologize and throw a pizza party for the scouts. Which really, someone should start a gofundme for that. We are obviously too lazy to run fundraisers as nonpologies; we have too much fundraising to do for our own kids’ activities. ProMomTip Billy: Costco sized pizza is $10 at Costco. He has abdicated the opportunity to go high, just like  when his pal did the very same thing and threw a misguided tantrum and lashed out at the Catoctin High School athletics program because he was mad about county government ethics rulings, so other people picked up the slack and found a way to fill the void.

Once again, Billy seems just like Trump. Not my fault. You guys made the mistake. You owe everyone. BigLig.

Speaking of which, keep an eye on little Billy today if you are a local Republican. Trump will be up in Gettysburg at an invitation only event, and if you’re not careful Billy will be up there loaning all your money to a guy with a long standing reputation for not paying people back.

Yes, Billy. It's really this simple.
Yes, Billy. It’s really this simple.


What is Billy qualified to do?


If you follow our posts, you know we have approximately infinity examples of Billy’s incompetence as a council member. Let’s call it a Treasury of Billy’s mistakes. Today we have been made aware that his incompetence also extends to his role as Chairman of the local Republican Central Committee.

Danielle Gaines reported in today’s paper  on the occurrence of this delightful incident:

The Frederick County Republican Central Committee’s chairman was planning to lend thousands of dollars to Donald Trump’s campaign in Maryland, where the billionaire presidential candidate faces long odds of winning.

The chairman, Billy Shreve, said the planned expense was canceled. But while it was considered, the nearly $12,000 loan would have represented a significant majority of the committee’s coffers, campaign finance and central committee records show.

Instead, the Maryland Republican Party picked up the expense — because the donation would have violated Federal Election Commission rules. The county central committee made an initial payment, later refunded, without registering an FEC number and without disclosing the expense within the federal campaign finance reporting system.

Such a shock  that Billy wouldn’t understand the Federal Election Commission Rules. I mean really, we didn’t expect that he was going to actually read, or ask, or investigate the proper way to make a donation, did we?  And it’s not clear whether or not the other members of the central committee were keen on spending all the dollars on Trump:

Messages with three members of the Frederick County Republican Central Committee were not immediately returned on Wednesday evening.

Two other members — Darren Wigfield and Mike Bowersox — referred comments to Shreve.

And why would he spend $12,000 on a candidate who has 0.1% chance of winning in Maryland. Aren’t there other candidates on the ballot that money may have been better spent on? The Maryland Republican Party, who hadn’t planned on making this donation, instead donated the money. What was that chairman’s response to what Billy had done?:

“It was something people wanted, so we went ahead and did it …,” Cluster said. “Look, central committees — sometimes they get excited about things.”

Excited?! Kinda like a Labrador Retriever excited? Or a 4 year old child who hasn’t learned any self control kinda excited?  Because honestly Billy could fit into either category. We hope beyond hope that when the next election shows up he is shown the door. At least his position as co-chair of the elect Trump campaign of Frederick County is surely coming to an end.

It sure does!
It sure does!

Parking lot drama y’all!

Remember way back in the bright shiny new days of the county council when Shrelauter had a hissy fit over losing their parking spaces?  We thought all this parking lot drama was long over, but once again, we underestimated #’s talent for beating dead horses. Here is a thing that happened tonight:


First of all, we believe you may want to capitalize Queen Bee, as you are using it as a proper noun ole exulted leader from District 5.  But seriously folks? What the everlasting hell is that? So what if she allowed him to use his spot when she wasn’t there? Why does everything have to be framed as some dirty, corrupt transaction? Is this the only way people in his world do things for one another? If so, let us tell you something Kirbo! People who are friendly with one another, who respect one another, they sometimes do favors for one another with no strings attached! It’s true! It’s called being a decent human being. Sorry if that’s a foreign concept for ya!

In the comments we saw this:


So funny!!! Mr. “Whoops I Thought This Was Just A Massage” is making light of Billy’s sexual harassment claims! We wonder if Billy put the sad crying face up there. Why can’t Billy get anyone to take him seriously?

Nothing Happened.

So, there was a council meeting today and by the time we got connected to the WiFi the business was pretty much done and on to Public and Council Member Comments.

This would have been the shortest council meeting in history, except someone mistakenly activated the Hashtag Signal again. D’oh! So then we had to listen to Kirby’s regularly scheduled nursing home/Jan Gardner rant, recently augmented by his hotel TIF tiff. There was even some stuff in there he wasn’t sure if had happened or not, but it probably did, so why not throw a fit about it anyway (psssst: because that makes you look stupid…). If he could limit the Two Minutes Hate to two minutes, things would be a lot nicer for everyone involved. Frankly, we’re getting bored with him. His effort to weave from one talking point to the next has the end result that he rarely makes any sense.

Calling #KirbyDealauter. (Never.)
This device needs some kind of secondary verification.

Other members of the council spoke of nice and positive things like the rededication at Culler Lake, Oktoberfest, that our county has been identified a County of Opportunity, and recognition given to the Hispanic and Latino community in Frederick. Jerry Donald did some pro TIF/hotel chattering, pointing out that the mayors of absolutely everywhere came out to say what a good thing that downtown hotel will be for the whole dang county.

Even Billy didn’t sound too crazy tonight. Most probably because he is all burned out from the derpfest he has been on since this whole Trump campaign tickled his fancy (oh no…that’s probably not the right way to allude to Trump or Billy, given the recent news here, there, and everywhere…). Maybe he’s feeling dejected because Trump is going to get his butt handed to him in this election, although we seriously doubt Billy has ever heard of Nate Silver or Sam Wang or poll aggregation or the electoral college at all, so he probably has no idea really. Sad.

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