Election day musings……

It’s taken your Lady Yokels a few days to digest all the election news. Nationally, things worked out very well, The Democrats took the House, and despite this causing the Orange Menace to have a colossal press conference melt-down, it’s the first step to re-establishing some sort of sanity in our country.

Let’s get to the local level. Thank you to the Frederick News Post for all the election graphics. It is so much better to look at than the unofficial results on the Frederick County Board of Elections page. 

WHOO HOO! Three times was NOT the charm for Cindy Rose. Hopefully we can hide all stories about her in the archives and she won’t make us write about her ever again.

 

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Seriously! Thank you!

And of course we are pleased about this:

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We can only imagine who Kathy would have photoshopped into her official photographs. Earl Robbins didn’t garner the 33% spread that Blaine predicted he would. Isn’t it shocking that the Blaine/Kirby/Cindy endorsement crew couldn’t pull it out for him? Congratulations CE Gardner, we look forward to another great 4 years!

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We are happy/sad about this one. Happy that Kai made it through with the most votes, sad that Susan won’t take the other seat. There are still votes to be counted, so we can’t predict which Republican will take the other seat. And Bud? Well, we had some good times with him on the council. For three years he fended off the craziness of the Shrelauter crew, however some of the things he did towards end of his term cost him votes that he desperately needed as an Independent candidate. We wish him good luck in his further endeavors.

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We were going to be happy with either of these two winning. Who was the write-in candidate again? LOL!!!! We did go to the election site to take a closer look at the write-in numbers.

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Do you remember when Tony said he was running because not enough people came out to vote for him in the primary? Therefore, he HAD to run as the only true conservative. So curious as to how he couldn’t even garner 800 votes. Now we are about to show you something we’ve been sitting on for awhile: Tony didn’t run a very good campaign. The evidence? His PayPal link on his campaign page looked a little like this:

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At least the mansplaining days are almost over!

More good news!:

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These ladies will be the most experienced members of the new county council!

We really hope that this works itself out in Jerry’s favor with the absentee ballots:

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After all, he was in this same boat with Ellen Bartlett four years ago!

And now for the boo hiss portion of this post:

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Hopefully this Blue guy isn’t as obtuse as #kirbydelauter.

And the worst of all local news:

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We know Spazzy! But, you can’t win them all!

We are all so curious as to how this new county government will function! STAY TUNED!

 

What happens when you don’t vote?

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Well, durh!

On this election day, we hope that most of you already got out there and exercised your right to vote! For those of you who have not, please do! If you are still sitting there thinking, “Well, I don’t know. What does it matter? My vote doesn’t matter.” KNOCK IT OFF! RIGHT NOW!

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All bad!

If you are disenchanted by national elections (re-read the first meme), then for the love of Zeus think of our local government. Do you want to see someone like Cindy Rose sneak onto the school board? Someone who doesn’t have the temperament, much less the background necessary to be a functional member of our local school board. But hey, yesterday she decided it was finally about time she put out her platform. BEHOLD:

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What is with the quotations?

If you need any further evidence of her unfitness, just go to our site and type her name in our handy dandy search engine.

If that doesn’t scare the bejeezers out of you, think of Kathy Afzali at the helm of our county government. Take a look at her attempt to win us over! Also, don’t forget she was behind Picturegate! We do not need someone with this kind of bad judgement.

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And lastly, think of our county council! We have had the extreme good fortune to get Billy, Kirby, and Tony off of the dais in one fell swoop. (Yeah, we aren’t paying attention to any lame sour grapes write-in campaigns.) And while we will miss getting to talk about things like this:

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This should go down in some Frederick County history book!

We don’t need to replace them! Phil Dacey doesn’t know how to show up to meetings or photo ops. And Danny Farrar engages in way too much Facebook nonsense and #kirbydelauter betrayal (well, that’s actually pretty funny) to be taken seriously. Joe Parsley has shown up to way too many county council meetings to sing the praises of Billy and Kirby to register as a serious person . We can go on and on, but we’ll just drop this here:

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If we haven’t convinced you that local elections, hell ALL elections, matter, let Plato help ya out:

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Don’t we know it!

We’ll let you know things turn out! Fingers crossed!

Halloween and Election Day are near: who has time for council meetings?! Here’s a lazy Yokel version of a drinking game for ya!

 

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Don’t be like pumpkin!

 

Seriously folks, there’s way too much to think about with all that’s going on in the world today to pay any serious attention to a council meeting this week. But, we don’t want to dishearten the faithful, so we put a little something something together for ya! Grab your agenda and gather together your favorite Fall spirits. The only thing of concern this week is Tony’s anti-Bob White bill concerning the impartiality of planning commission members. Which is super rich coming from the likes of him!

Anyhoo, play this Bingo card any way you see fit, just remember we need you to have your wits about you come this Tuesday!

 

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VOTE like the Founding Fathers can see you–especially if they wouldn’t have let you vote!

Exercise your right to vote!

You can early vote from October 25 through November 1 at any of these locations in Frederick County from 10 a.m. until 8 p.m.

Frederick Senior Center
1440 Taney Avenue
Frederick, Maryland 21702

Thurmont Regional Library
76 East Moser Road
Thurmont, Maryland 21788

Urbana Regional Library
9020 Amelung Street
Frederick, Maryland 21704

Middletown VFD Activities Building
1 Fireman’s Lane
Middletown, Maryland 21769

Resources:

If you don’t know something about a local race, vote411.org is a great resource. Provided by the nonpartisan League of Women Voters, it allows you to compare the answers that candidates gave to a survey of questions. You go to the site and enter your address and compare candidates for the races you can vote in.

The Frederick News Post also has a page with local races and links to information about 2018 candidates. If you search on the FNP website you may never find that link. Google is your friend. Or you can always come here! Glad to be of service. Off to the polls, Yokels!

TFW they’re still doing it: squeeeeee the local Republican autodefenestrations continue!

Kirby Delauter’s Facebook page has it all. Man these people are excellent at making themselves look insane on social media. This would be a good time to remind everyone not to vote for Cindy “F Your Feelings” Rose.

This is only the beginning. It goes on and on…and on…and on…

Honestly, there is so much packed into this Mexican standoff, it is hard to limit ourselves. It’s a public post on Kirby’s page, if you’d like to do your own rubbernecking.

Danny Farrar immediately rebuts, in a post approximately as long as that horrible David Foster Wallace novel that we have mercifully forgotten the title of, and things go downhill from there.

You mean to write, “…only Kathy and me…” Oh toss it all, we aren’t going to start editing for another one of these dingbats.

 

He’s still not done.

You can see how the factions are aligning. It’s a shame, really, that Danny (according to some people we know) used to slobber all over Billy and Kirby at SoldierFit, to the point that the egregious sycophancy caused them to discontinue patronizing Danny’s business and NOW LOOK! Was it worth it?! Now he’s in a big, undignified “you throw all your friends under the bus” spat with him. And Danny is sure not wrong here, but…this is also as undignified as a Young Family Facebook Reunion.

Is he questioning Kirby’s manhood? It kinda seems like he is questioning Kirby’s manhood…lol, we approve of this. Still, don’t vote for Danny Farrar. We have candidates who can discern a low IQ when they see it. I mean, only one of our council members has been ridiculed by the national media for his stupidity…and that one is Kirby. When you think about the superlative stupidity contest, that is pretty bad.

Oh here’s some solid evidence of the low IQ thing: Kirby’s anointed County Executive candidate in disagreement with Kirby and all his friends on their hot button issue!

It’s never too late to learn, yo…

 

And, there it is! BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

He just basically says, “What? Cut off my nose to spite my face? Why yes, I do think I will, thanks for asking!”

Seth Eisenberg chimes in to defend Kirby and chastise Danny (random thought that just occurred to us: why are grown adults named Billy and Danny in this county?). Please someone sit Seth down and explain how “you’re” is a thing. His contributions are lame, and he manages to look dumb in content, contribution, and composition.

The Cindy/Mary spat has been a wonder to behold.

Cindy Rose (Worst and Most Often Failed BOE Candidate Forever) and Mary Posey’s spat dates back to an earlier episode, which caused the Republican Club of Frederick County to lock down their page. We like to call that winning! We temporarily quarantined some terrible ideas, thereby depriving us of all the pointing and laughing that Kirby’s page has resuscitated here.

It’s amazing how she is always trying to be deliberately obtuse for the purposes of gotcha. And what a dumb argument for her to get involved in. Being disagreeable is her hobby. Like the candidate may not have been out for days on his own…oh well, whatever. We skipped all the back and forth with Danny about “binding arbitration” and whether he is with or against the firefighters and it does kind of seem like he’d rather not be for or against it. This issue has been really interesting to see from all sides.

One observation we have come away with: people we used to think were way out there don’t even crack the Top 10 Farthest Out There in This Neck of the Woods. We do apologize for our earlier harsh judgment.

Carry on fools!

 

Hydrate, people!

We hope you have a big jug of water by your side all day today. Drink often. You’ll need to be fully hydrated ahead of tonight’s meeting. Grab your agenda and get ready for what could be a long one.

First up are two budget items. If Billy continues to gripe about not having enough staff before abstaining on his vote, swig back a bitchy bellini.

Next up are approval of minutes and an appointment confirmation. This will be followed by public hearing on the proposed sale of a county owned building. Serve yourself a Harvey Wallbanger just because.

Three Third Readings are on the agenda next. They all involve human trafficking. When short timer and “both sides” council member Shreve says anything dumb mix yourself a man of war.

It’s break time! Hydrate with more water. Your liver needs it.

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NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING Re: Amended Bill No. 18-25 – Impartiality of Planning Commission and Board of Appeals MembersAn Amendment to: clarify the matters and proceedings to which the Bill applies. This is about as confusing as the infamous flow chart. Bob is always mired in these insane ramblings.

First up after the break are several public hearings. Things could get testy. Steel your nerves with a bourbon pumpkin smash. Tony is up first with his perhaps personal vendetta led impartiality bill. Next up are some high adjustments to the fy2019 budget. This would move up the Oakdale Middle School addition,  move up the design approval for a new east county elementary school, and move up the modernization/addition project at Brunswick High School. Drink an appletini to celebrate if all 3 are approved.

Last up for discussion is a budget item which involves lots of wins for fire/safety in Frederick County. Celebrate with a fire engine.

The meeting will end with council member comments. We are sure we won’t even care what Shrevelauter have to say. Best to return to drinking water. Don’t you have to adult tomorrow???

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Go to work!

 

 

At-Large Election: what lurks in those woods?

We’ve been thinking on the At-Large candidates for the council. Much like the county executive race and District 2, the extra-party shenanigans have made things weird. Our hot take on this is that Bud Otis has no chance to win, but could very well screw the race up for other good candidates. We’ve appreciated Bud’s votes many times in the past, but we’re not pleased to see the vista from out here.

On the other hand, if Tony Chmelik would like to hand Lisa Jarosinski the District-2 seat, roll out the red carpet and be our guest–no offense to Steve McKay, with whom we find plenty of room to agree on local matters. We are also concerned, as others of our local political coterie (good info in that link from RALE’s Facebook page that you just passed) have noted alongside us, about who Bud is taking campaign contributions from. If money equals speech (and SCOTUS proclaims it so), you can see who he is listening to.

Sketchy.