This is becoming tedious! Your weekly workshop wrap-up!

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It seems as though Billy’s only function is to cause strife on the council. You would think as a lame-duck council member he would just sit back and enjoy the rest of his ride. Or, at the very least, stay as quiet as a dormouse as to not give the likes of us more things to write about! But alas! Woe unto us all that we must continue down this path.

The first bill to be discussed is the nice cooperative Donald/Delauter bill concerning the Senior Tax Credit. For every amendment that Jerry put forth, Kirby seconded! Staff wants an effective date for next year, to which Billy says that bills already have an effective date (60 days if not noted in the legislation), everyone ignores him and adds the July 2019 date.  Goes back to a public hearing. Bud commends them both on their cooperation.

There’s much hoopla from both Tony and Billy over M.C.’s bill to make sure that future housing developments keep any amenities they offer within their borders. There was a development that built a pool outside the approved zoning area and wound up building on Ag land! Billy thinks it’s exclusionary. And Tony wants to know what would happen if an HOA wants to buy land outside of the community to build a pool. He also doesn’t understand why we are making legislation because this happened one time. COUGH, COUGH, WOODCHIPPING BILL?!

Next we are onto some changes to council rules. Read all about them here. Billy doesn’t write any of his down and keeps arguing about giving people a 20 minute limit to present at public hearings and wants to allow public comment to be allowed at workshops. Bud tells him that, just like everyone else, he needs to write his suggestions down! How many times has he been told to write his ideas down? Your Yokel Girls are thinking of starting a Sign-Up Genius to have y’all take turns at public comment to tell Billy what we all think of him.

Charter amendments are last. You can peruse them here. Tony lets his 120 day bill extension die after listening to Jessica and M.C.’s concerns. So miracles still happen. Some language is changed on the others. Kirby, who seems to have all kinds of problems with how things work around here, doesn’t put forth any amendments. And is, in fact, super quiet tonight. Perhaps he’s brooding over the lack of love in the comment sections on the two articles about him in the paper today. (Read the articles here and here.)

We’ll get back to the hearings soon!

Budget season is upon us; let us not fall into despair. Your 4/24 council drinking game.

This evening’s meeting will include various amendments to bills on the table, as well as public hearings on bills that were amended last week. Take it easy on your liver as budget season is upon us and we are going to need gallons of moonshine to get through the line by line budget adjustments Kirby’s gonna give us!

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We are 100% certain that Kirby is going to write an “alternative” budget again this year! Even though that is NOT his job as a legislator. Perhaps he should take the time to write his personal budget since it appears that one of his businesses owes beaucoup dollars to the government!

Since it is the last few months that Billy will be featured on the dais, perhaps we should savor his voting against the agenda, abstaining on the budget adjustments, and floundering back and forth on whether or not to vote for the minutes. On second thought, down a 6-pack of Raging Bitch if  when any of these things occur.

Amendments will be brought forth on two bills. The Senior tax credit amendments show that two polar opposites can come together in the name of good government. Sip daintily on your Family Drama to show that you appreciate the fact that we can have some time without tension in our Frederick County family.

Break until 7:00 (not a word Billy!), then we return for three public hearings.

The first hearing concerns Billy’s Elderly and Military tax credit which was so very badly written that the budget department had to make a special visit to the council to spell out the infinity changes that needed to be made. So, with no help from Billy, amendments were voted for and now the public has the chance to voice their opinion. So, when Billy takes credit for this bill in the future, drink a mind eraser in his honor.

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If you didn’t get a chance to read just how awful the editorial board of the FNP thinks Billy is, click away!

We end the meeting on Tony’s satellite betting and Bud’s veteran’s advisory council bills. Take a break because look at what is coming later this week:

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Budget season is always stressful!!! Be careful out there!

That is not what is happening here.

Local 3 time Board of Education candidate (and 2 on her way to 3 time loser) Cindy Rose has made a declaration about our blog.

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Who would like this?

Let’s look at the definition of hate group.

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We are continually amazed at the lack of comprehension exhibited by Cindy Rose. The bar just keeps getting lower.

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Pointing out logical fallacies does not a hate group make.

Just because we would HATE to see you on the school board does not make us a hate group. How about turning the hyperbole down a notch or two or a million?

April 17th meeting menu: third reading casserole with Fredneck salad

Here is an exact transcript of our text messages concerning the first part of the meeting (yawn):

Billy voted against the agenda.
Abstained on the budget adjustments.
Voted for the minutes.
 He is such an idiot
Then both he and Kirby gave the same tired old argument about how keeping the tax rate the same is the same as a tax hike.
For the 4th year in a row.
Then there was a magical interlude of professionalism wherein the Retired Military Tax Credit was combed through by county staff before it passed, and we moved on to the circus events.
Billy had proposed legislation requiring that council members receive some minuscule amount of education regarding what the hell they are supposed to be doing there. Presumably this is because Billy is confuzzled. Possibly because he says he took a thing online with a quiz and it took five minutes, so what’s the big deal? How very educational. M.C. Keegan-Ayer proposed some amendments, which Tony Chmelik felt neutered the power of that legislation since it made it a mere suggestion. M.C. was basically like (to paraphrase this as we would have said it), look, don’t get all snippy with me, I was just trying to polish Billy’s turd here. Nobody was into making unnecessary laws, except Billy. Failed 1-6.

Then there was the zoning violation drama, which is naturally a big ol thing to the nincompoop faction, in large part because of the great wedding venue drama of 2016. Billy and Kirby are both very upset that zoning complaints can be filed anonymously and for some weird reason they are allergic to anonymous criticism (neener-neener), and so Jerry Donald had to explain to them that some people may be afraid of their neighbors–and for good reason. (Tangential thought: can you imagine if Billy Shreve or Kirby Delauter were your neighbor? And you had some sort of property dispute? Scary.) At one point M.C. made it clear that she was not even able to try and fix this. Sigh. This failed too, because obviously. Turd status: unpolishable.

Also there was the wood chipping scandal (it’s as if these bills Billy launch begin a listicle of Billy and Kirby’s prior buffoonery and proof that neither of them deserve to hold current office and certainly do not deserve to be entrusted with any additional responsibilities). Their position here, in a nutshell, is that these people have been in violation of the law for ages now, and how is it fair that someone noticed and is going to make them stop? Scandalous indeed! In fact, it becomes rather clear through Kirby’s bellyaching about County Executive Jan Gardner’s role in these zoning violations matters that he still does not understand the different branches of government under the charter. How is he going to be the county executive if he doesn’t know what that is? It will be a lot like the current status of Billy Shreve, who does not know what he is supposed to be doing ever.

This bill failed because the one business it was initially custom tailored by Councildolt Shreve to benefit–until Tony Chmelik took over the turd polishing operation–was likely to be harmed by it, and hardly anyone thought that was a good idea. At one point during the discussion of this (or it could have been the earlier bill, but no matter) Billy was so stuck in oppositional defiant mode that he started opposing his own position. It was really a scene. Billy still remembers to like his own dumb ideas in the end, though. And after all that grandstanding and noise that Kirby made here, he voted against it!

Off-track betting passed unanimously. It now has to go back for public hearing.

 

What’s Kirby going to blame on Jan this week?

We’ve been meaning to get to this story for a few days, so please forgive the tardiness. Earlier this week, Kirby posted about this story that appeared in the Frederick News Post:

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Borderline criminal? Let’s dig a little further into this story, shall we? What it comes down to is a disagreement between this landowner and CSX as to who owns a piece of land. This gentleman and the county have wildly different opinions as to who owns parcel. So, when did this disagreement really pick up steam? Here’s a screenshot from the FNP article:

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HMMMM.. who was in charge of the county government from 2009- Summer 2014? Is there any way to find this information out?

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Who’s that guy in the back row? Is that KIRBY?!?!

Wow, just wow! And, it’s just a tiny bit hard to feel as though the landowner is in the right here when he’s quoted as saying something like this:

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Holy moly, this county! Anyhoo, Kirby needs to accept some of the blame for this situation since it occurred when he was on the BOCC. Nowhere do we see where Jan has played a hand in this. Tis just another day of # being hyperbolic and not telling the whole truth!

Billy is a boil on the butt of this county government! Your April 10th “we can’t take this much longer” meeting run-down.

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We can’t say enough terrible things about Billy due to his abhorrent behavior during this entire meeting! Just about the worst we’ve ever seen, and you know that must mean something coming from the likes of us! Let’s get right down to it.

The council recognizes the achievements of the Frederick High basketball team, which is nice to see! Shannon Moore is on site to present some changes that need to be made to the sustainability commission. We are waiting for Kirby to trigger when it comes to the discussion of changes that need to be made to the ethics law, but instead Billy takes up the cause! County Attorney Linda Thall explains that when the state makes changes to the ethics law, the county must follow suit. Such changes have to do with former lobbyists and what they can and cannot do if hired by the county,not using your political office to secure campaign donations, and increases to  fines shall a candidate fail to adhere to a reporting deadline. Well, Billy has thoughts! He demands Ms. Thall tell him how we can realistically “upgrade” the ethics law if we don’t change the Public Information Act (PIA)! He is explained to that the PIA is a state law and the county cannot change a state law. But, but, Billy then claims there are no fines if the government doesn’t comply. Well, that is also not true. Billy knows all kinds of “citizens” who aren’t receiving the information they requested in a timely fashion. Oh we bet he does!

Bud then introduces a bill regarding county council staff compensation. Billy wants to know why only 10 people are listed. Bud tells him that is because that is what is allowed by their current budget. Now hold on to your hats folks because you are not going to believe what comes out of Billy’s mouth next! Billy wants to hire an independent consultant to evaluate the council’s productiveness. Because hey folks, Billy just wants to leave the council in a better place than it is now!

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You’ve killed Smokey, Billy!

We’ll wait for you to pick yourself up from the floor first before we continue.

Now. M.C. tells Billy that all the information he wants on the council is already available, and she doesn’t see the sense in paying someone to tell them what they already know. Jessica, M.C., and Jerry hall have issues with this bill because of the proposed at-will employee provision. So, we’ll have to keep an eye on this one as it travels down the legislative road!

This is the section of the meeting where things get really, really bad. Lori Depies, Finance Director of Frederick County, is present to ask the council to reconsider Billy’s very bad bill that passed last week. Bill 18-03, Elderly Individual & Retired Military Tax Credit has lots and lots and lots of problems!!! Who could have guessed that Billy would write such a horrible piece of legislation? And that Tony, Bud, and Kirby would just go right along with it?

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Who could have guessed?

There’s so much wrong with this bill, we can’t even start to list it all. The most egregious and talked about point is there was no effective date listed. There also was no application deadline, procedures on how to apply, renewal requirements, just all around very poorly executed. Ms. Depies makes the point over and over that it would be impossible for this bill to take effect this year because: a. they have no procedures in place to implement this tax credit that quickly and b. the budget is already in place for this year and this would cause a $1.7 million hit.

Billy has statements. Even though the finance department was never invited to participate in this bill, they did send a fiscal note that Jessica brought up last week, that Billy of course paid no attention to. Nevertheless, he very rudely asks Ms. Depies two times if she ever reached out to him personally. As though it is the responsibility of the finance department to contact a legislator when they are working on a piece of legislation! Ms. Depies informs him, that per council procedures county staff has to be invited to the table to give input to the council. Something Billy certainly did not do! Billy then wants to know if they legally have to do this. Ms. Depies tells him she cannot give him a legal opinion to which he shouts: “It’s just your opinion then!” “No”, the unflappable Ms. Depies replies, “It is my expert opinion as the Finance Director”.

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But, seriously folks, is this where we are now as a county? Every idiot’s opinion should hold equal weight with those that actually have experience and expertise? Shall we be kept awake during surgery in order to give our doctors our opinion on how to operate? Is this where we are headed?

Jessica says that these concerns are exactly why she didn’t vote for the bill in the first place! Billy interrupts her by saying, “Why didn’t you write amendments?” Jessica tells him that first of all, it isn’t my job to write your legislation, and secondly during the workshop it was very clear that you were not open to any changes!  Jerry points out that not having an effective date on the bill is reason enough to reconsider the whole darn thing. Tony wants us all to know he was on a skid-loader when he got the message that this bill was going to be reconsidered, so he’s working at a disadvantage here. But, that doesn’t stop him from asking a ton of questions.

Billy tries one more time to save his very bad bill. He just wants it to go through and then add a replacement bill later, which makes no sense. The lawyer says that this doesn’t address the problem that the Finance Director just made about the procedures and the budget shortfall. Billy then says that Bud was beaten into submission to bring this up tonight. However, when voting time comes EVERYONE but Billy agrees this bill should be reconsidered.

Billy is the sole no vote to go into closed session.

Now it’s time for the public hearing portion of the evening.

Another bad Billy bill is back for public hearing. You know the one from last week that Tony did the work for?  Ray Barnes is the only public speaker and he reiterates the administration’s position that they are against this bill because there are many other non-profits who do good work for the community and the county executive doesn’t want everyone  applying for a tax break. Well, Billy just says that he will put forth a bill for any organization that contacts him. Genius at work!

We can barely stand to write about this wood-chipping bill any longer. Ray Barnes says the administration is still against it because they don’t feel that a wood-waste facility belongs in the General Commercial (GC) zone. But the star of this evenings testimony is Mr. Bussard, proprietor of said wood-waste business. Jessica asks him if this bill addresses his issues, his response? “Will it get the county off my butt?” Now, that’s the kind of testimony your Yokel gals like to hear! He admits to not understanding the legalize of the bill and admits that he actually gets along great with the county. At least with those that work behind the wheel. He also informs us that: 1. He’s never received a fine and 2. He’s looking to move his business anyway. Kirby then feels the need to apologize for the county. He’s so very sorry that the county followed their zoning laws and actually investigated a business that WAS violating said laws. He called it “the most ridiculous thing he has ever witnessed.” Well, hearing him use those words was kind of the most ridiculous thing we ever had to witness, so I guess we are all even now! Billy ends out the discussion by saying that county workers are generally good people, but they have some kind of block here.

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Guess who that’s directed at!

In good news, Jerry and Kirby have come together to combine their Senior tax credit bills! Jerry made no secret of the agreement:

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For some reason we couldn’t find any similar announcement on Kirby’s page. Wonder why.

Tonight’s discussion ends with M.C.’s new bill about amenities that are just for HOA members being required to be located within a development. Looks like there will be some more discussion on this one before it’s all ironed out.

Don’t forget, gentle readers, Billy believes he should represent our interests in Annapolis. Can you imagine the state-wide embarrassment this would bring us? Local elections matter y’all!

On Monday, April 16th the council will hold a hearing on the BOE budget. If you care about public education, and you know you do, show up or email the council to give them your thoughts!

It’s your April 10th drinking game!

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You too?

We are not even sure if anyone is able to stay sober right now. Therefore, if you are already drunk due to the national news, just carry on with your selected beverage of choice.  Grab your agenda and follow along.

There are no minutes to vote on tonight, so you can spare your liver right away because Billy won’t have the option to abstain.

First up are 3 bill updates. And oh dear, one has to do with ethics. Remember how Kirby gets triggered whenever the “E” word comes up? If you see #NeverKirbyforCountyExecutive get all twitchy, slam back a pitcher of Trigger!

The council then goes into closed session, a motion that Silly Billy will surely vote against. They return at 7:00 for a variety of public hearings.

First up is Billy’s very bad bill that Tony had to re-write so it made a modicum of sense. And speaking of Tony, we need to digress for a moment because people have you seen this?!:

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This is his campaign sign!!! So many thoughts…First of all, are we building a wall? Starting a trade war with Washington or Montgomery counties? When does Frederick County not come first in the Frederick County Council?! Zeus give us strength this election season. And, vote for Steve McKay in the primary if you are a Republican District 2 voter.

The next hearing is the wood chipping bill, and boy are we tired of hearing about this! Tony added some amendments last time, actually took some of the planning commission and county executive’s suggestions into consideration!  Still, why are we making legislation that benefits one business? If “anyone” talks about Jan shutting down all the businesses ( YOKEL FACT: This business was never shut down or even fined!) set up a row of Pink Faced Liar shots!

We next have to sit through two hearings on the same issue. Tis an election year and Kirby needs to grandstand over all his failed bills and budget writing attempts. We know who has the better bill, so sit back and set up your moonshine still, because man you’re gonna need it this year.

We round up the evening with M.C.’s bill about locating amenities within the boundaries of a particular community. If When Billy says something condescending (we know the nerve of that fella) take dainty sips of your Raspberry Stupid.