frederick local yokel

Trying to shove local politics under your nose since before it was cool: Frederick County Edition

Who really deserves the Pinocchio nose!?

Well, well, well, do we ever have something for you today! Every week or so, we check up on our favorite local politicians’ Facebook pages to see what we can see. And boy, did we see something!

Hope on over to Kirby’s county executive page and you’ll see some fresh new “graphics”:

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Let’s just put aside the misinformation for a moment and focus on the “Pinnochio” (sp) rating at the bottom. Besides spelling the beloved character’s name all wrong, we couldn’t help but notice we’ve seen the same exact icons somewhere else. Where you ask?

How about the Washington Post Fact Check page?

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We couldn’t find Kirby giving the liberal rag any props on any of these slides. Perhaps he thought if he spelled the name wrong he was okay. Nevertheless, to rip their icon off, and so poorly we may add, shows what a second rate operation this campaign really is.

If you want to see a true situation in which a Pinocchio nose would apply take a gander at this little jewel:

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Oh my! They really think they did a good job!
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That’s more like it!

Will your Jack O’Lanterns keep the evil spirits at bay? Not if Billy shows up to play! Welcome to your Frederick County Council meeting day!

Don’t take it too far peeps!

Tonight could be a real doozy for us! The bill that Tony wrote to replace Billy’s no good, very bad one is up for a public hearing this evening. We joked when Tony introduced it, speculating if Billy would be magnanimous when the time to discuss came around, and BAAHAAHAA!!!! who the hell are we kidding?  Tonight, we suggest that you choose your favorite Fall brew beer or pumpkin spiced spiked whatever and follow along. Don’t forget your trusty agenda, and remember to take care, because now that Billy is running for statewide office, there’s no way he’s taking your calls!

We begin, as always, with public comment, approval of the agenda, and budget adjustments. No matter what happens, just smile and nod and sip daintily from your drink of choice.

There’s one county executive appointment to approve, and then there’s a break until 7:00. When Billy throws his predictable fit about Bud not being about to look into his crystal ball to predict the length of the first half of the meeting, let’s just say this may be a good time to run to the liquor store for fortifications.

The first 1/2 of the meeting will take exactly 43 minutes and 6.4 seconds.

There are two public hearings. The first one is on recreational facilities being required to be located within the development they are meant to serve. Billy and Tony both threw fits the first time this was discussed. The second one is Tony’s wood chip bill. Just last week the Planning Commission voted against approving this bill as written. (They did suggest some amendments.) So, when things get a little cray cray, break out that beer bong from college and do whatever you need to do to feel better.

Elections have consequences!!! What a contentious workshop we had!


We don’t know when that will be Muffin! Hopefully 2018.

There is so much swirling in your Lady Yokel’s heads at the moment.  If you are so inclined, you can suck two hours out of your life and watch the meeting here. First, let us point out that this is the second workshop in a row that Kirby couldn’t bother to attend. If he wants to be the next county executive, he probably shouldn’t develop an attendance problem during the campaign! And secondly, we should all send our thank yous and perhaps treats to our poor county employees that had to put up with the insults and badgering that Billy and Tony subjected them to this evening.

Of course we knew that a discussion of Development Rights and Responsibilities Agreement (DRRA) wasn’t going to be pretty. Let us point out that tonight was a workshop. What occurs during a workshop is you listen and discuss. There’s no voting, it’s not a hearing. It’s supposed to be a productive discussion on how to move forward. However, we cannot move FORWARD if SOME people come into a discussion with guns blazing! Billy and Tony don’t want this bill to pass. So instead of allowing anyone else on the council to listen to the explanation of the bill, they interject (VERY RUDELY) with questions, which are really more like accusations. For example, Billy, asks Steve Horn how long the comprehensive plan is. Steve says it is 10 years, but can be renewed. Billy says it’s 20. Steve says he isn’t sure what the exact length is, to which Billy tells him that he knows it’s 20 years but just doesn’t want to answer the question. He goes on to tell Mr. Horn that he’s smarter than that!

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Tony, instead of letting these poor employees go through the actual proposed bill, wants to go through an actual DRRA and have the staff tell him what is wrong with it! It is at this point that we hear a tone of voice come out of M.C. that we have never heard before. She is very angry that Tony is discussing a DRRA that no one else has in front of them!!! Especially since this isn’t even the point of the meeting. The point is to review the proposed bill that is in front of them, not to argue the merits of an already passed DRRA. M.C. also admonishes Tony for the way he is speaking to the staff this evening. At first, Tony is all: oh well, this is the job they signed up for. Then, he thinks better of it and apologizes. We are not sure why he takes all this developer stuff so personally. (When are they going to invent that font for sarcasm?) Bud tells Tony that if he doesn’t like the bill then he needs to propose an amendment to it.

There’s also some back and forth between Billy and Jerry. Billy wants to know what county Jerry would like to model Frederick County after. Jerry answers: Pre-2011 Frederick County. This causes Billy to stew in his seat for a few moments before “trying” to stick it to Jerry again. He tells Jerry that he needs to stop his snarky comments, because he never in his entire life had anything to do with a DRRA! He continues his remarks by saying that it is so great that Jerry wants to go backwards in time, because you know that Billy is all about moving forward. At this point Bud closes down the discussion by saying, “Elections have consequences!”

Now it’s time to talk about a bill that will allow a change to the Adequate Public Facilities ordinance. More specifically the School Construction fees. It’s no secret that we need more money for school construction. Therefore, for future developments that will be built where the schools are already overcrowded, the county would like to raise the fees. Blah, blah, blah. You can guess who is going be against this. After the first part of the workshop we really don’t have the energy to go into the weeds with this one.

The meeting is coming to a close, but Billy feels like he hasn’t had a chance to speak. So these words come out of his mouth:

“It’s okay, I always get overlooked. No one ever wants to provide me with information, I don’t know why. ”

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Until next time folks!



That free ride is coming to a grinding halt!!

This evening there is a county council workshop on two very important issues. First on the agenda  is a discussion on Development Rights and Responsibilities.  This was somewhat of a joke during the last administration. And boy are we paying the price! Secondly, there will be a discussion on school construction fees. Both of these issues have a direct and lasting impact on the quality of life in our county. Hopefully our representatives can come to a good resolution so we not only have adequate roads and facilities, but so also the citizens of this fine county aren’t on the hook for millions of dollars. 

What the hell is this?

Or let Kirby write about it!
We don’t like going over to the noodley appendage. Well, that’s not entirely true. It is a lot of fun to point and laugh at the hodge podge of cray cray they print over there. We still want them to tell us what happened to our friend Galahad Sweetbottom! After a few weeks avoidance, we sauntered on over to the other side and saw that our very own county executive candidate, #kirbydelauter, had penned another post! Oh man, wait until you see this.

That is an understatement, dear readers!
Of course we want you to make up your minds for yourself, so click here when you need a good headache. To save you the time and pain we’ll point out the best parts.

Kirby was not a fan of Jan running around telling everyone that the Jefferson Tech Park was the worst financial deal in the history of forever. So, in his jumbled mess entitled “The Perception of Deception” (no, we didn’t make that up), he’s going to lay the situation out in “layman” terms for all us dummies:

Let’s say the new bridge built by and paid for the developer is a brand new Cadillac. The 3.8 miles of existing 40-year-old state roadways are let’s say, a 1977 AMC Gremlin. In order to get the Gremlin to run, you have to put “X” amount of dollars into it, then in order to keep it running, you need to maintain it at a cost of “X.

These roads are no different. They’re 40 years old plus or minus. So they need to be brought up to current standards which is not cheap. Also, every year now we have 3.8 miles more of roadway to maintain and remove snow, year-after-year-after-year. Whereas the new Cadillac you would spend zero dollars on repairs and maintenance is minimal year-after-year.

Great question Jackie Chan!
He continues along with some more numbers, but none of this makes any damn sense no matter how many times we read it. So, to illustrate his point further, he goes off on a tangent to let us know–once again–what kind of elitist he really is:

When I was a county commissioner I voted to cease giving elected officials pensions as well as cut the taxpayer-funded expense accounts from $2,500 per commissioner to $250. Ask the county executive today how much she has awarded herself in the way of an expense account, including the taxpayer-funded vehicle used daily.

If you want to run for office you better make sure you can afford it y’all!

And, we are all so sure that whatever expense account Jan may have comes nowhere near the amount of money the citizens of this county will have to shell out over this deal!



Shrilly Billy makes our meetings really silly. Your October 3rd meeting round-up!

If only!


Your Lady Yokels have had quite the week, so please accept our apologies for the lateness of this post. This is, however, a hobby. And as important as we believe it is to keep informed on what our locals are up to, sometimes life gets in the way!

Meeting starts off very nicely by recognizing the awesome science award that Oakdale Middle School teacher, April Clark, received. Many nice words about educators and the importance of what they do are said. And we are very pleased. We learned later that Kirby told her this joke as she walked along shaking everyone’s hands:

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have H2O”. The second one says,
“I’ll have H2O too.” The second one dies. He claims she got a kick out of it, and maybe she did! But man, what a dad joke!


Any hoo! Off to the meeting.  Our favorite curb guy is back for public comments. He wants salaries raised for both the county council and the county executive because we are now living in the 21st century! And we agree! Only those who make a pretty significant outside salary can afford to serve on the council. Kirby later disagrees with this request. Says he isn’t in it for the money. Which kinda misses the whole point.

We are super confused because Billy votes FOR the budget adjustment and approves the meeting minutes. Guess he no longer wants a budget analyst for the council.

The bulk of the meeting was about what initiatives the council should send to our  Maryland delegation. Tony starts off by carefully wording his motion to allow homeschool students participate in extracurricular activities by stating that he was only looking for a vote to allow the motion to go to public hearing. It didn’t mean that they would actually send it off to the delegation. On that point the council agreed.

Then it’s Billy’s turn. He wants to take RV’s out of the personal property category and place them into real property category. Says he wants to do this so people can have other ways to finance an RV. M.C. says that in order for an RV to be considered a house it has to meet HUD guidelines. For example, it can’t have wheels, must be on a piece of land that the owner either owns or rents, and has to be hooked up to the electrical grid. Well, since Billy’s very lazy bill doesn’t say anything about what would constitute an RV, M.C. doesn’t believe that they can make a law that will be potentially be in violation of federal guidelines. You know Federalism. Billy’s standard line with all his suggestions tonight are, “We should move it to a public hearing to see what the public says.” Translation: “I am not going to make this bill any clearer, or do any research. Let’s see if someone else can do that for me.” Billy has another initiative, this time he wants to exempt affordable housing from the forest ordinance. Billy couldn’t answer Jessica’s question about whether this should be done at the county or state level and also avoids M.C.’s questions by saying, you guessed it: “I just want to take it to a public hearing.” (See above translation).

Jessica has an initiative about the Safe Harbor policy concerning youth victims of human trafficking. Thankfully Billy did not take this opportunity to speak up for those in favor of exploiting our fellow humans. Kirby wants to give his tax credit to first year teachers and first responders and police in their first or second year on the job. This honestly doesn’t make a whole lot of sense since this is  a real estate credit and how many of these folks own homes? There is talk about how it isn’t fair to only reward one segment of society. Motion fails.

The next part of the meeting concerns the $400,000 block grant given to the county to make curbs ADA accessible. One concerned citizen, who took his complaints about the curbs all the way to the Justice Department, is here to speak. We do admire his passion and are glad things are getting fixed. Here’s some slides from the presentation in case you are interested:

Billy uses this chance to admonish the department for underestimating the amount of money it would take to fix all the curbs. So, we apologize if you were playing our Bingo game, because you would have a raging headache today for the amount of times you had to fill in the block about a county employee being put out. Billy thinks they should send someone out to re-do the estimates, which would cost even more money.  As usual, he knows not of what he speaks!

Off to comments. Tony tells the story of how his employee’s daughter was at the concert in Las Vegas. We were not only saddened but very angry over what occurred Sunday evening. For how many times are we going to sit around and allow this type of thing to occur? When a mass shooting occurred in Australia in 1996, they acted immediately.  And while we sympathize with Tony’s employee and every single concert goer and family member that has had to live through this nightmare, we will not tolerate the old hopes and prayers line. This is the time for action, and if you are only willing to say really sucky things like this:


Then you can kiss our Yokel butts! This IS absolutely the time to talk about gun control. We reject the notion that it is disrespectful! If anything, it’s really disrespectful to talk of anything else when fifty eight people’s lives ended too soon. While we are not hopeful that our legislators will do anything of substance, we wholeheartedly reject the notion that this is not the time to talk about gun restrictions.

Billy informs us that the county gets bad legal advice. And he sees it everyday and all of us are at risk under this administration. And we are too angry after reading Kirby’s twitter feed  to comment any more on his nonsense, so:

Peace Out!


Let’s match some lingo by playing bingo! Your very special October 3rd drinking game!

If you win, it means we all lose!
It’s that time of the month again! The county council will convene to discuss items that are important to the functional running of our local government. Today we leave you with a very special bingo game that you can use any which way you please. So grab your favorite pumpkin spiced whatever, read over your agenda, and fire up the live feed.

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Which part of the First Amendment does Shrelauter like?

Billy Shreve has been using his social media vocally to criticize the NFL over the past few days. What’s that about? Most likely he’s upset that players are getting horrible degenerative brain diseases caused by repeated concussions. Or maybe this story about the Seahawks’ Michael Bennett chapped his hide and he wants to see some action. Surely it couldn’t have anything to do with peaceful protests or the national anthem. And now, this:

Surely he means to publicly criticize China for curtailing the free exercise of religion.


In case a refresher is needed, the First Amendment in the Bill of Rights of the United States Constitution reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Since his other half is famous from sea to shining sea for threatening to sue a reporter who used his name–the name of an elected public official–in the newspaper without his permission, we are beginning to wonder what parts of the Bill of Rights they like. Is it just the shoot ’em up part that the NRA likes to quote, but also leaves out some of the words when they do? Aren’t the conservatives the constitutional “originalists?” Which unsurprisingly seems like it’s only a concept held dearly to people who have always been considered 5/5ths of a person.

We would like to leave you with a little music to enjoy on this fine fall day. May we all  remember that America means we pledge daily to the ideals of liberty and justice for all.

Wow!! What type of meeting is this?!

We had really nice workshop on dilapidated buildings yesterday! Here’s why:


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Quick! Someone hide those chairs!

The purpose of this meeting was to discuss, amongst the council and representatives of different departments, what the county should do when properties go into disrepair. Councilman Donald, who called for this workshop, gave us a run-down of what he wanted to happen. He said the purpose of this meeting was to explore an issue and come up with some ideas on how to fix this problem. We want to cry tears of joy at these words!  We almost forgot that some government officials are actually interested in discussion and fruitful debate! Who could blame us though? Look at the nonsense we’ve become accustomed to lately:

So, thank you for restoring some of our faith in our government folks!

There was a ton of discussion as to what should be done. We were given info on what is currently on the books:

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Given some examples of what other counties do:

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Plus, we were shown examples of some properties that have gone into severe disrepair:

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Issues of foreclosure and hoarding were also brought up. There are no easy answers, as Tony kept reminding us with his slippery slope arguments, since the government has to determine when someone is simply exercising their right to do what they wish with their property, and when someone is either endangering public safety and/or bringing down their neighbor’s property values. Most people were in favor of compiling a list of run down properties and also looking into passing some new legislation since the Maryland legislature recently passed a law that will help with this issue. Contacting the Department of Aging was also brought up when you happen to know that an elderly person is living in the property in question.

Since this was just a workshop, there will be more discussion and possible legislation in the future. Mr. Donald closes the meeting thanking everyone for , “a very mature and intelligent discussion”.  We are sure those words would not have exited his mouth had our two monkey wrenches shown up. Be thankful for small blessings folks!

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