frederick local yokel

Trying to shove local politics under your nose since before it was cool: Frederick County Edition

Senator Billy? BAAHAAAHAAA!

So do we!!!

Rumors have been swirling for months that this would happen: Billy has announced his bid for Maryland State Senator! And LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Who told him that was a good idea? He couldn’t handle the responsibilities of a county council member, but he wants to go to Annapolis to show the whole state how truly incompetent he is? WE THINK NOT!

So, in honor of all the unbelievably stupid things Billy has done during his tenure on the county council, we have complied a list of his greatest hits. This is in no way a comprehensive compilation of his glaring incompetence (if you want that just go to our blog and type his name in!), however, it should be enough to give even the most ignorant voter pause.

Remember when Billy wanted a People’s Court? That’s right he thought it would be a good idea if citizens could go before the council so they could resolve their disputes. You know, kind of like the Frederick County District Court system.

We would rather go before the Imperial Magistrates of the Quintessons than let Billy Shreve solve our disputes!

Let’s not forget all the wedding venue drama in which Billy took to Facebook to blame it all on the County Executive.

It’s all so curious that Billy still tags Blaine in any post related to county government business. Is he still in search of his guiding hand? Perhaps Blaine is the one encouraging Billy to run against his father. As we’ve reported before, the Young family  has whole lot of drama.

Before Billy was banned from writing for the Woodsboro Times, he liked to write some pretty incredible stuff. Take a peek.

Billy likes to do things like “update facts”. We know, try not to choke as you read through this one.

Of course you don’t want to, but please check out the brain on Billy.

King of the Deplorables!

Way back in October 2015, he called Jan a compulsive gambler because he didn’t like the way she ran the county government.

Billy was chairman of the local Republican Central Committee for a year. Read to see how well that went!!!

And finally, read our post asking, “What is Billy qualified to do?”.

If you have your own Billy story, please share it on our Facebook page. We need to spread the word far and wide that we do not want this guy representing us in Annapolis!

World of NO, Shrelauter and clown. We need brains.

FFS. There’s a difference between “your balls” and “you’re balls,” you BALLS. This is your official Councilman Facebook page. Please try and keep up with fourth grade in this space, if you want to make grown man plans.

Guess what, jerk-face. We cashed those checks and donated to charities providing for the people you kicked in the BALLS, where a $100 donation will do a lot more than buy one dinner out. Disgusting. Trying to buy a vote with $100. Bless David Gray (R-easonable) for having some class and leaving his name off of that letter. These crass simpletons. You know who noticed the reduced workforce?! The 20% who lost their livelihood, you collection of scrotal tissues.

BTW, “legal tax payers” should know that even undocumented workers pay taxes. And then receive little in return. It’s a genius scam. What loathsome testes you all are.

You should all go to this page and comment. It’s your 1A Right. Make sure you document with a screen grab in case you need the ACLU to stop him from silencing you on his official minion of the scary scary government that he hates page.

Women for Kirby now has line of attire for mythical creatures

Fake news!
Lame! Sad!

Egad, y’all. Kirby has a shirt that looks like a Lego Friends ad for his CE campaign. It is fuchsia and has a stylized purple daisy on it, symbolizing sexism. We are super excited for the unveiling of his Men for Kirby shirt, which we guess will be blue and we hope has a Hot Wheels, or a Spiderman, or a Thor, or some other boy nonsense, instead of probably a handgun. Have a look.

This almost makes us miss his Massengil themed page.


Vote for your favorite Yokels!

It’s that time of year again folks!

The Frederick News Post is once again taking nominations for their annual Best of the Best contest! Up until July 9th you can vote for your favorite Frederick restaurant, camping site, school, and of course your favorite local blog…US! So, if you would be so kind click on over to their contest page, scroll down to the entertainment section, and then under Local Blog enter: Frederick Local Yokel!!! Show us some love!



Your Yokel week in review!

We’ll help you out, Marmalade!

There is so much to point out to you this week, we thought it was best to do one Friday post to wrap it all up for y’all!

Let’s start with the FNP’s snazzy photo, which you may or may not have seen flying around the intertubes. Definitely check out the link to the interview below if you missed it, because our very own Sheriff talks about his meeting with Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard “I ain’t answering none of your questions” Sessions! Sessions is wearing a yellow tie, and according to some nouveau Victorian tie custom (we guess) this means Sessions is a coward! Wow, don’t y’all feel so much safer with these two in charge? You can read the write up of the FNP”s interview with Jenkins, but not Sessions! Because he don’t have no time for y’all’s inquiries!

On the subject of Jenkins and his immigration stance, there was a brilliant LTE from a nice fella that was in attendance during last week’s 287 (g) meeting.

While we are on the subject of LTE’s. Let us direct you to this one regarding the festering dead horse beating of Jessica and Jerry voting for their own salaries  and this one regarding Kathy Afzali’s legislative style! Keep up the good work fellow citizens of Frederick County!

Speaking of Kathy, she sent out a little note letting us all know that she is not running for her Delegate seat, but she’s got some plans! Plans that will be revealed AFTER Labor Day!

Well, some of those who have the same “plans” have officially filed their paperwork. Check out The Frederick Extra’s story on Blaine’s former flame, Regina Williams.

Let’s move on to the city of Frederick. Two stories out of there. First of all, Randy McClement has filed for re-election. Putting him in the ring with Alderman Michael O’Connor and former mayor, Jennifer Doughtery.

The only Republican on the Frederick City board of Alderman, Phil Dacey, has announced that he will not seek re-election to that post. However, he is interested in pursuing the At-Large County Council seat. If he didn’t have the wherewithal to fulfill his duties as an alderman, how can he expect us to vote him onto the council?

This Tuesday, the county council will have a workshop. We don’t do drinking games for workshops, but don’t worry we won’t judge! Whatever works peeps!

Tonight’s meeting rating: Not too shabby!

If you take away one person’s antics we are as well!

Jessica and Jerry are absent this evening. Thank Dionysus there wasn’t anything too important on tonight’s agenda!

No props tonight folks! We did have one public commenter who was also very angry though. Something concerning a sewer line issue on his property. This guy asks the council what good do they think they are? And you all look weak and bad! He’s also angry at the county attorney. In his closing remarks, Bud says that he will not comment on issues that are in litigation. So, though we don’t know the details of this fella’s issues, and he very well may have a legitimate claim, everyone knows that you catch more flies with honey.

Billy won’t turn on his microphone, ,but since everyone else knows how things work, we can tell that he votes against the budget adjustments and the minutes.

Not nearly good enough.
We are about to get a nice presentation about Frederick County Land Preservation , Parks and Recreation Plan. Contrary to the agenda, this presentation is not just for council information but needs to be voted upon. Billy throws objections around and was quickly rebuked by the chief of staff. If this plan isn’t approved by July 1st the county could lose a piece of the $1,015,000 that the state gives out. Billy is the only one who asks questions, more like observations really. Tells the Parks and Rec department that they must have a good staff and it seems like he’s on board. However, when it comes to voting time he is the sole no. Seriously folks, this guy’s only legislative style is obstruction.

There is a public hearing on the “closure” of a couple of county roads. Closure is in quotation marks because the road isn’t really being closed. It’s just being transferred from county hands to private. There’s a lot of back story on  this,  but it only affects a few people who live in the Countryside neighborhood, all who seem to be on board. So we’ll leave these screenshots for those that want more info:

This one is approved 5-0.

No public commenters at the end of the meeting!

Kirby and Tony pass on their council member comments.

Then we think Billy has turned a new leaf. In the spirit of Jessica and Jerry, he actually talks about an event he attended. And says nice things!  We are aghast! Then, he’s back.

Happy fun time quickly came to a crashing halt!

Billy loves public comment! He wants us all to remember last week when someone came up to talk about how very angry she was with the chair! (Really, Billy how could we ever forget?) He accuses Bud of not putting things on the agenda! And then says that the “disjointed” council and “dysfunction” are going to continue until the council gets new leadership. In Billy’s twisted logic the reason the council hasn’t been able to function for the last three years is because of the leadership!!! NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM!

Billy! Be careful of Aunt Pittypat’s nerves!
M.C. calls on all of us to remember those that lost their lives on the USS Fitzgerald.

Bud tells us that his office is always open to any council member who wants to talk. Only one member of the council hasn’t taken him up on that offer. Poll time!

Will there be no end to this month? Your June 20th county council drinking bonanza!

Have some control peeps!

With the end of the school year, and all subsequent kid related activities, it seems as though your Lady Yokels have been running in all kinds of circles. Add in some cantankerous county council meetings, a controversial BOE policy, and the Sheriff trotting out his 287 (g) info and it’s enough to make anyone want to drink. Do remember, you only get one liver and you should take care of it. So, when you grab your agenda and fire up your feed, keep in mind this is all for your fun and entertainment!

If this week features any public commenters with props or recording devices, slap back an Angry Possum.

Budget adjustments, appointments, and council information concerning land preservation is the bulk of tonight’s meeting. Should any political grandstanding occur (these people know the election is still a year away right?) have yourself a Flaming Angry Dragon.

There’s a public hearing about closing a county road so St. John’s can expand. Should be interesting to hear the justification for all of that!

Lastly we have council member comments. If Kirby once again uses this as a chance for him to campaign, guzzle down a whole pitcher of The Mad Man. 

Send in your pics!


Thanks to a local reader who was in the right place at the right time to catch Bigfoot leaving our calling card! Remember last year when we had a contest and asked you to take a pic with our cards? Well, we never knew we were so popular with the mythical creatures as well! If any of you have snapped a pic with any other mythical or mystical creatures leaving our cards around, please send them in. It will delight us to no end to know that the Snallygaster or Snarly Yow are fans! Bonus points if you can catch Xenu or Gumption the Dragon.  Better yet, take a pic of yourself with one of our cards or bumper stickers and post it to Twitter with the #iamlocalyokel!

We thought things were supposed to slow down in the summer!


There is so much to point out to you today. It seems the lazy days of summer don’t apply in these here parts.

First let’s give kudos to the Frederick County Board of Education for passing policy 443 last night! It is so wonderful that our little yokels are in a school system that values each child. Which is more than we can say for some members of our community:

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And  we don’t know whether to laugh or cry at her other post regarding this issue:

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It feels as though we should do something nice for the FCPS legal department that has to sort through her requests.

On the other side of town from the BOE meeting, Sheriff Jenkins was holding court at Winchester Hall. He was having himself a little shindig about 287 (g). Kirby was a little confused as to what side he was supposed to be on:

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And look! Angry lady from public comment the other night was out not looking so angry:

Maybe we can start our very own game of Where’s Waldo with this gal!

And speaking of public commenters, our new fave, Matt Seubert, wrote a very informative piece about the Monocacy River Board in today’s edition of The Frederick Extra.  If you missed our piece, that goes along nicely with what he had to say, on what is going on in Carroll County click on over.

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