My God, is Delauter going to make us defend Afzali?

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Thanks a lot #!

Your Lady Yokels have been distracted by a number of other local races lately, and #kirbydelauter and his race for our county’s highest office have unfortunately been on our back burner. Until today! On his county executive Facebook page he posted this:

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Well, you shouldn’t be a bit surprised that Kirby’s description of this bill is 100% inaccurate! 100%!  This bill was crafted to make sure that a violent protective order comes before a judge the SAME DAY it is filed and yes, gives a JUDGE (not any citizen!) the authority to temporarily remove guns from the home of a person who has exhibited behavior that makes the police and a judge believe that this person may use them!!!!! Here’s the summary of the bill:

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Because, unlike Kirby, we like our readers to be informed. You can read the bill in its entirety here.

The bill’s sponsor used the example of Candance Carnathan, who filed a protective order against her husband. Ms. Carnathan marked on her protective order form that her husband had a firearm, however, the gun was not removed and he shot both his wife and himself leaving their young children without a parent.  Would Kirby argue that Ms. Carnathan’s husband’s right to keep his gun was more important than the right of his wife to live?

Your Lady Yokels know people whose parents have suffered impairment as a result of age. This impairment caused a certain amount of paranoia that made the individual very dangerous with his guns. Is it Kirby’s position that this individual’s right to bear arms is more important than the right of his family to live?

It is all so curious that we hear all kinds of blame directed at the  government AFTER a shooting happens. There is all kinds of outrage that the government should have done more to make sure the shooter didn’t have access to a weapon. BUT, when the government tries to make sure a murder doesn’t happen, they are committing a “gross overreach.” It’s apparent that Kirby did not read one word of this bill and instead just went into some kind of crazy Pavlovian response when he heard the word: gun.

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Now that you are more educated, Kirby, we want to hear why you are against this bill. What are you afraid of? How is this a bad thing? How did you misinterpret this entire bill? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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Sigh.

Take a seat readers, because you may not ever hear this again:

THANK YOU DELEGATE KATHY AFZALI FOR VOTING FOR THIS VERY RATIONAL AND NECESSARY BILL! WE MAY NOT BE YOUR BIGGEST FANS, HOWEVER, WE WILL GIVE KUDOS WHEN KUDOS ARE DUE!

Yesterday, we had another example of gun violence against what seems to be have been a former romantic partner in a high school in Southern Maryland. Thankfully, the school resource officer was there to stop the shooter before things had a chance to get any worse. What would have been better if the young man wasn’t able to get his hands on a gun in the first place! And while we may agree with Billy’s assessment of the officer:

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Kirby’s response to this post leaves a lot to be desired:

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#FACTSMATTER people! This man cannot be given the reins of our fine county!

You simply must try this Shreve Afzali derptastic cocktail

The Frederick Extra’s gossip column, Extra Buzz, is infused with weapons grade WTF today. Why not just share the link? Well, the Facebook algorithm makes it so that you are more likely to see this post, so we are making a quick shooter. Please visit the Extra page for the real deal.

Afzali is still running her obviously verboten fundraiser for a campaign she apparently may or may not be running.

More ridiculously, there’s a story about Afzali spreading notes around the Delegates building in her quest to best Kirby. Del. Afzali, you are too old for this nonsense. Irrefutable proof: making paper notes to promote an online poll!

Oh, that was funny, Frederick Extra. We ❤ U!

.And there’s a nugget of “whut? whyyyyyyy?” tainting the city with the dumb aroma of Billy Shreve thanks his role in the Republican Central Committee. Our readers will not want to miss it.

Kirby Delauter goes all #fakenews

We cannot take a half hour nap this week without some steaming dung getting caught up in an oscillating fan. Flagrant imbecile Kirby Delauter has hired Cameron Harris, noteworthy creator of fake news, as his spokesperson. Harris used this side gig while he was working for Del. Vogt to bring in, at one point, $1,000 an hour in ad revenue (NYT). Vogt fired him. No word on whether or not he is still living in Vogt’s basement (awkwarrrrrd). Obviously a person of such upstanding moral character was determined to be a perfect fit for the Delauter campaign!

Cameron Harris, professional derp purveyor, sucks. #KirbyDelauter sucks. Kathy Afzali also sucks. What a time to be alive.

But, wait. There’s more. The Frederick News Post has published the push poll Kirby was running to try and suggest in the “just asking questions here” way that Afzali was a liberal supporter of terrorists. Fake News Harris seems pretty proud of the manipulation. True colors and all. Afzali’s annoying as heck (remember when she anonymously texted Sheriff Jenkins to be all Mean Girls?) and has done plenty of  ridiculous stuff, but this is not a contest of the absurd. Or, wait, is it?

 

Get those kernels popping! Kirby and Kathy are already at each other’s throats!

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Your Lady Yokels have been enthralled by the drama unfolding this evening. It all started when Frederick County Fact Check pointed us in the direction of Kathy Afzali’s post:

We are a little alarmed that we finally agree with Delegate Afzali on something! You see, Kirby did some kind of push poll that got Kathy all in a tizzy. So much so that she had to bring  Hillary Clinton into the mix! Former county commissioner and Kirby cheerleader,  Blaine Young, was not going to sit by and let Kathy rip Kirby apart like this!

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Holy Crap! Did Kathy really go to Kirby’s house and offer him a job?! It’s a little premature for that, isn’t it? We also have to note that Blaine must be some kind of elitist. How else would you explain his praise for Kirby rejecting county health insurance and a pension? For it seems as though he believes that only the wealthy should be allowed to serve in public office.

We thought it was over and then we saw this sponsored post in our feed!

The way these people throw around the word liberal!!! It’s really something! Buckle up folks we are in for a bumpy ride!

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Your Yokel week in review!

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We’ll help you out, Marmalade!

There is so much to point out to you this week, we thought it was best to do one Friday post to wrap it all up for y’all!

Let’s start with the FNP’s snazzy photo, which you may or may not have seen flying around the intertubes. Definitely check out the link to the interview below if you missed it, because our very own Sheriff talks about his meeting with Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard “I ain’t answering none of your questions” Sessions! Sessions is wearing a yellow tie, and according to some nouveau Victorian tie custom (we guess) this means Sessions is a coward! Wow, don’t y’all feel so much safer with these two in charge? You can read the write up of the FNP”s interview with Jenkins, but not Sessions! Because he don’t have no time for y’all’s inquiries!

On the subject of Jenkins and his immigration stance, there was a brilliant LTE from a nice fella that was in attendance during last week’s 287 (g) meeting.

While we are on the subject of LTE’s. Let us direct you to this one regarding the festering dead horse beating of Jessica and Jerry voting for their own salaries  and this one regarding Kathy Afzali’s legislative style! Keep up the good work fellow citizens of Frederick County!

Speaking of Kathy, she sent out a little note letting us all know that she is not running for her Delegate seat, but she’s got some plans! Plans that will be revealed AFTER Labor Day!

Well, some of those who have the same “plans” have officially filed their paperwork. Check out The Frederick Extra’s story on Blaine’s former flame, Regina Williams.

Let’s move on to the city of Frederick. Two stories out of there. First of all, Randy McClement has filed for re-election. Putting him in the ring with Alderman Michael O’Connor and former mayor, Jennifer Doughtery.

The only Republican on the Frederick City board of Alderman, Phil Dacey, has announced that he will not seek re-election to that post. However, he is interested in pursuing the At-Large County Council seat. If he didn’t have the wherewithal to fulfill his duties as an alderman, how can he expect us to vote him onto the council?

This Tuesday, the county council will have a workshop. We don’t do drinking games for workshops, but don’t worry we won’t judge! Whatever works peeps!

The local grapevine

The dreary weather yesterday got us hunkered down and brooding, especially after reading a couple of things about media bubbles having been created out of the decline of the local papers. There’s a problem with how people find out about what’s important if they don’t live in a big city. This all seemed poignant, living in a small city where the hometown, local-family-owned paper just got swallowed up by a company nobody seems to think much of (oh great gravy, they published a headline last week with the word “tree” misspelled)! THESE are the times that try mens’ souls.

Revolting! On the hunt for this link that was published this morning, you can see how the bias machine has Breitbarted and Hot Aired something that was quite thoughtful and useful to read in its original form. FFS. The poutrage tastes rotten.

After we pointed and laughed about Delegate Afzali going all Girls Gone Wild (via email) on her NyQuil, this leapt out from the AV Club. The piece focuses on the lasting effects of the Telecommunications Act of 1996, which brought us Clear Channel hell on the radio, offensively mindless crap on the television news, and is (party bonus!) also the reason that either Comcast or Verizon is taking actual years from people’s lives as hostages of their monopolistic services. All the good news that’s fit to print, eh?

…once corporations realized they could make money off the news—rather than just viewing it as a public service—they started “making that a joke, too.” As he notes, the move made it so “they could still put on what’s called a news show, but it’s mostly just fluff and trivia and 23-year-olds spewing out talking points that they read on a teleprompter, having no idea what the [redacted!] they’re talking about, fortunately for them.”

-Communications scholar Robert McChesney (AV Club, August 11, 2016)

Furthermore…AV Club goes on to provide this explanation:

 

That kind of mindless newsreading has real consequences, too. As Common Cause notes in its position paper, “In 2002, more than half of TV stations in the nation’s top 50 markets completely ignored state and congressional elections in their highest rated local news programs in the weeks leading up to those elections, with large station owners offering the least election coverage of all.” McChesney takes it further, saying, “What little coverage there is, is mostly gossip, spin, and speculation, or basically what’s spoon-fed to them by party elites and insiders and big shots accepting all their biases as the appropriate way to view the world. It’s impossible to exaggerate just how nutritionless this so-called journalism is.” In other words, viewers of most stations get lots of Donald Trump news, but almost nothing about city council elections or even state representatives.

For information on local races, you can always turn to the nonpartisan League of Women Voters at vote411.org. They produce voting guides by asking candidates a series of questions and printing their responses in the candidates’ own words. Fill out their online form with your residential data and the race you want to learn about. This service is immensely useful. Consider making a donation to them if you have the means to do so.

 

The mention of gossip and spoon feeding from party elites seemed so stinkin’ much like what we were just roasting Afzali for in her silly email. Y’all know we are the first to acknowledge that we are A.) not journalists and B.) not unbiased. We have concerns about where the flow information is coming from. We did before the troll news revolution, but looking at all this we hope people will expand their number of reasons to be skeptical about the quality of their information.

As for Local Yokel’s role in the scene, we were delighted by a fantastic discussion on 1A yesterday about censorship and speech on college campuses. The 1A topic also has local pertinence just at the moment since the Hood College Republicans made a story board of the least sophisticated conservative talking points they could brainstorm, allegedly as some sort of PR misfire. Fly your freak flags, we always say! Better the devil you know… However, the highlight from 1A that made our little Local Yokel hearts swell was when Frederick Douglass’s thinking was cited on how to best attack terrible ideas:

At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. O! had I the ability, and could reach the nation’s ear, I would, to-day, pour out a fiery stream of biting ridicule, blasting reproach, withering sarcasm, and stern rebuke. For it is not light that is needed, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.

Well, we’re on board with that. And we are grateful that The Frederick Extra is up and running to keep us informed.

No holes barred!

Oh, Delegate Afzali, thank you for e-mailing on cough syrup. We think you sound like the gin-soaked Dame Peggington Noonington that Wonkette is always lambasting. And also thank you to the Friend of Local Yokel who alerted us to her no-holes-barred approach to communicating with her constituents. “What is this kink?” you may ask. Yikes. Scrub the brain. Drink more Ny-Quil. Whatever it takes to erase that thought.

Afzali gets a very low score on the Tomatometer, if you ask us.
It is full of partisan writhing and hand wringing. Example: pretending that Hough didn’t try to hijack the ethics bill process at the last minute for his own theatrics, and smearing Jan Gardner with that silliness. And darn that partisan Jessica Fitzwater who doesn’t think that conservatives are concerned about sexual slavery. This whole tome has the ring of a gossip column. Are we reading an update from a Maryland Delegate or Page 6 of the New York Post?

Now, shush people, Kathy doesn’t want to say this too loudly, but did ya know that Mike Miller and Ron Young are epic frenemies? According to Delegate Afzali, the two gentlemen do not care much for each other, but that did not stop Mr. Miller from putting over $16 million in Ron’s coffers  a fund for the downtown conference center. Funny how those things work, isn’t it?

She also wants us to know that ALL the Democrats down in the state capitol have become absolutely unhinged over Trump’s election. They are also being big giant meanies to Governor Hogan, especially that Brian Frosh.  Power-hungry Frosh can now sue the Federal Government without the governor’s approval. Only a majority of Attorney Generals in the country wield that special right!!! Quelle horror!!

Delegate Afzali writes that she hopes she doesn’t regret writing all this truth telling! We know we will never regret reading it! For this has truly been a gift for us.