Is the band back together? Where is Yoko when you need her?

From the looks of this letter, we may have to define equivalence!

Blaine, Billy, and Kirby collaborated on an LTE this weekend to show us they don’t have three brain cells to rub together! What’s the reason for this bumbling reunion dispatch?! It seems the three amigos are very upset that there hasn’t been the protest “on the street corner” and debate around the water cooler about the current tax rebate that there was when they gave a $100 tax rebate back in 2012. Here’s our favorite part that really shows how these folks feel about the electorate they used to serve:

Parents voicing the need for new schools and updated schools. Nonprofits screaming about needed funding. People claiming and chanting we don’t want the measly $100 — use it for the areas in government that have a need: education, the sheriff’s office, fire and rescue, the nursing home and many social services. Then future candidate for county executive, Jan Gardner stated at debates how foolish the decision was.

Maybe, just maybe, someone should have advocated for more educational funding when they were in school! Let’s think back to these fabled days of yore they are referring to. With the exception of David Gray, the only thing this board attempted to do was privatize and dismantle as many government services as possible. They sold off the county’s nursing homes. (A move reversed by Jan Gardner) Refused to fund schools above the MOE (Maintenance of Effort) level. They told FCPS to look into building cheaper metal buildings because the schools were too fancy these days. They took away the county’s funding of the Head Start program because why can’t all the women just stay home like their wives did? They expected all county offices to do more with less! This was also done because Blaine was running for the county executive position AND both Kirby and Billy wanted a seat on the county council. So fellas, the only difference IS NOT party affiliation.

Before you Republicans get too excited, remember both Blaine and Kirby have left the Republican party. Kirby even shared this on Facebook:

And remember folks, when letters like this start appearing, it means someone is looking for a come-back. Stay vigilant!

Oh, they are not getting off this easy! Your Yokel good-bye post to the three amigos!

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Listen to Buster, there is no need for such dramatics!

We kinda feel cheated here. We thought there was going to be at least one more meeting for us to narrate, one more chance to wax nostalgic about these long four years. However, since Bud wisely decided to allow the next council to make a decision on the Monocacy River Plan, it is over. We are not about to let Kirby, Billy, and Tony leave without one last post! We’ve worked way too hard over this last term to just let them slink away under the cover of darkness.

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We are not quite done…YET!

We  dove into the old Yokel archives to come up with a top five list for each of our least favorite FORMER (ah man, that feels good to type) council members!

Let’s start with Tony. Our biggest problem with him was his condescension towards the women on the council and Jan in particular. We’ve also heard that there are those down in Winchester Hall  who are very happy they no longer have to put up with his mansplaining ways! Take a look back to when he tried to mansplain something that wasn’t even happening!!!

Every budget season Tony liked to compare the county budget to his very own small business. You know since Tony hasn’t made enough money to give his workers a raise, the county should operate along the same lines! Here’s a trip down memory lane to remind y’all just how long-winded and off course he could be.

Remember when Tony introduced the off-track betting bill and tried to tell us it was open to any restaurant ? We smelled a rat and decided to take Kirby’s advice to follow the money and guess what? We discovered it wasn’t really open to all! All kinds of fun!

Let us also remember when he introduced legislation to ensure that the planning commission didn’t hold any political beliefs. We dug around a little and found out this was directed at Bob and Carole because he didn’t like something he saw on Facebook!  Oh the petty dramas we’ve seen on Facebook this year!

What he will be most remembered for is launching his miserably failed write-in campaign! Sour grapes anyone?

It’s difficult to narrow down the list for Kirby as he gave us way too much material to work with. What we will remember most is his alternative budgets he would write every year. Budgets he had no authority to write, which often made no sense, and just wound up wasting everyone’s time. Go ahead and click here and here.

Kirby’s thrown a lot of online hissy fits, but besides the time he made national news when he threatened to sue a reporter over using his name, our second favorite has to be when he refused to donate to the Catoctin athletic department because he couldn’t grab up all the county contracts. Way to keep it classy!

Kirby also has trouble distinguishing dictatorships from a democratically elected executive office! We will never forget the lesson plan we put together to help him distinguish the difference!

In more recent news, Kirby was NOT happy that he lost in the Republican primary for CE. And he wasn’t going down quietly. He specifically charged Danny Farrar with high crimes and misdemeanors for daring to campaign with Regina Williams.  He also called a private citizen a POS for daring to go against him.  Even the High Sheriff got called out! If you missed it, it is a MUST see.

No Kirby countdown is complete without mention of the flowchart. It is truly the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. When it first came to your Lady Yokel’s attention, we were gasping for air trying to breathe. All these years later it still brings a smile to our face. 

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We just had to put it here as well! Jessica still has not answered these charges against her! LOLOLOLOL!

Oh Billy, Billy, Billy. The most ineffectual of all of our first county council members. What he’ll probably most be remembered for is for his uncreative use of the word ABSTAIN. Billy thought since they didn’t have their own budget whisperer (despite them having the entire county budget department available to answer any questions) he could just take the next four years off.  We still find it amusing that the person he and Kirby wanted as their budget person ran against Kirby in the CE primary, and according to Kirby ruined everything for him. The drama of Frederick County politics! You never know when someone is going to turn against ya!

There was a whole bunch of wedding venue drama associated with Billy. He didn’t care if a structure was deemed unsafe by the Fire Marshall and could have potentially killed a bunch of high school kids. He didn’t care if the people operating said wedding venue had the proper permits or if they even asked the people who actually owned the land if they could host weddings and parties. NONE of that mattered to him. It was quite a sight to behold, watching him trying to rationalize all this nonsense. 

Billy’s rude behavior was a constant thorn in our side. He’s adopted the Trump way of speaking because : 1. He can’t think for himself, and 2. He reacts in anger when he doesn’t understand what is going on. Which was quite often. Here’s an example of when Billy took that anger out on one of our favorite county employees, Lori Depies.

Let us not forget when Billy lost his keys, couldn’t have his coveted parking space, and accused Bud Otis of telling him to “get on his knees”. This caused Billy to threaten to file a sexual harassment complaint! He then said  if this was appropriate language then he was going to start using it on the dais! As though he was holding himself back!

What we will most remember about good ole Billy Shreve is the time he told the world that there are people on both sides of the human trafficking issue. He then proceeded to vote against every human trafficking bill that came before the council. Really folks, what kind of person votes against trying to stop human trafficking?

 

 

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The kind that gets his ass handed to him in a primary election!

We’ll see how much we have to say with the new council. Things are looking pretty sane so far.  Thank y’all for paying attention and voting these jokers out. We don’t need this type of legislating in our fine county!

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Not this time!

 

 

 

 

 

Will the first meeting of Fall enthrall? Your September 25th drinking game!

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Don’t take it too far peeps!

It’s the first meeting of Fall which means it’s the last season of Shrelauter and Friends! Tony decided not to accept the results of the election and is attempting a write-in campaign in order to ensure the victory of the Democratic candidate! Final days and write-in attempts pretty much ensure that we are in store for some pretty dramatic meetings. Go ahead and grab your agenda, fire up the FCGTV, and remember this is only for fun! Billy isn’t answering any calls from you ingrates!

The clock is a ticking on hearing Billy vote against the agenda, abstain from the budget adjustments, and vote against the minutes!! We can’t imagine any of the future candidates behaving this way. Tis a unique style of legislating! When this farce occurs slam back a thermos of Whiskey Sours.  Because this behavior makes about as much sense as taking a boat out in the Monocacy after a hurricane!

Alderman/Director of Government Affairs, Roger Wilson is in the house to talk about proposed legislative initiatives for the upcoming session in Annapolis! Take a break from your liquor to listen to a smart person talk!

Next up is three separate First Readings on proposed bills having to do with human trafficking. Is it fun to bring up the fact that Billy once said that there are people on both sides of this issue? NO IT IS NOT! Fix yourself a nice tall Thyme Will Tell, because only time will tell if we ever get over that one!

Lots of public hearings including the changes to the school construction fees. We predict this one will garner the most public speakers since overcrowded schools are a HUGE issue in this county. Give your liver a break and rehydrate!

Council member comments have turned into complaining sessions for “some” of our members. Sip on your Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice while attempting to hang on to your sanity.

We’ll let you know how it all turns out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your distracted meeting round-up!

Last evening’s meeting had the misfortune of running at the exact same time as bells were tolling all over the damn place for the Trump administration.

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Uh-oh Donald!

Therefore, we were very distracted!

What we can tell you is that Tony didn’t show up. Billy voted against the agenda, but somehow found it in him to vote for the budget adjustments. Guess he’s given up on getting a Budget Director! Especially since his first choice for this position betrayed Kirby by having the nerve to run for county executive in a free country!

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This election season has been something. If you need to catch up on all the drama, click here

The longest part of the evening is dedicated to express approval for an annex in the City of Frederick. The city wants to have this area available for mix industrial/commercial use. Kirby is worried about water, Mayor O’Connor is not. And we cannot help but feel even more sorry than we previously did to anyone who has to sit through Lame Duck Shrelauter’s questioning. Passes 6-0-1.

Myersville annexation discussion is much quicker and passes with the same vote count.

Bud has brought a school construction fee back to the table. There will be a public hearing soon and you can read all about it here. We would like to point out one quote from Jan about his new bill:

A former proposal from County Executive Jan Gardner would have raised the fees by 56 to 72 percent across those categories. Using the single-family house example, that measure would raise the fee to $6,924, $2,745 and $5,803, respectively.

Gardner said Tuesday she continues to support her original proposal.

“The ‘compromise’ bill proposed by Council President Otis and the work group makes progress but falls short of what is needed,” Gardner said. “The school mitigation fee is only paid when a developer chooses to pay the fee to continue to build even though schools are overcrowded. In my opinion, the full cost of the needed school seats should be paid.”

Can’t say we disagree with that!

Next up is the passage of two bills concerning Accessory Dwelling Units. We remember way back when Kirby and Billy first brought this issue up! But now that Jessica has her liberal fingers all over it, they are magically against it. Billy also takes the time to bring up the most irrelevant issue. His failed attempt to have a workshop on construction costs. Which has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Boo Hiss! Both bills pass.

 

There’s a break and then the council returns for three public hearings. The first one is the only one that people bothered to show up for. It puts an income cap on Billy’s Elderly Individual and Retired Military Tax Credit. Ray Barnes likes it, three other gentlemen do not.

Bud mistakenly adjourns before council member comments. Billy starts screaming that he’s already gotten rid of 75% of council member comments, he can’t get rid of 100%! The recording goes to the music and when it starts back up Billy and Bud are engaged on a full out war of words!

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December cannot come quick enough folks!

Billy is screaming at Bud that he’s a terrible leader. Bud retorts by saying, “At least I vote!” Billy demands to know just what the hell is that supposed to mean. (We know people, we know.) Bud replies that he doesn’t abstain. Billy’s defense? “Abstaining is a vote!” Thank goodness we are not going to embarrass our entire county by sending this Master of Logic to Annapolis!

We can barely listen to the nice comments of Jessica and M.C. through our fury. We do notice that Kirby is texting throughout their comments which is oh so professional. Thank goodness he won’t be leading the county!

 

Billy doesn’t understand socialism and other fun facts! Your February 21st meeting run-down!

Let’s get this party started! Billy votes against the agenda, and we have to wonder, once again, why that doesn’t boot him right off the dais? If he doesn’t approve the agenda then shouldn’t he have to leave? We vote yes!

Water and Sewer amendment is moved to the top of the agenda. Staff presents and amendment is passed.

Billy abstains from the budget adjustments, while everyone else says they are A-OK!

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All of the county executive’s appointments are approved 7-0.

We have a nice presentation about transportation priorities and then there’s a vote to authorize the FY 2019 TransIT grant, which is decided with a 7-0 vote.

Tony wants authorization to go to Annapolis to testify in favor of Comptroller Franchot’s brewery bill. There’s another dueling bill that’s apparently trying to punish another brewery in Baltimore, but will actually hurt ALL state breweries. Permission is granted as long as Tony submits his comments to the other council members beforehand for their input.

Jerry and Kirby’s dueling senior tax credits are introduced. Click on their names to read them. As well as  M.C.’s bill concerning recreational amenities in the MXD/PUD zone.

We have two bills on the third reading schedule. Amendments were added to both, so they will go back to public hearing. Here’s the FNP article that discussed both of those issues. We have some highlights as well:

-Billy has issues with County Attorney Mathias and whom he represents. Billy thinks of the whole county government setup as the council vs. the county executive, instead of what it should be: a cohesive county government with checks and balances that cooperates for the good of its citizens. Tis not the Billy way! Mr. Mathias is the county attorney, which means he represents BOTH the county executive AND the county council. So, when Billy turns on his mike to once again question where Mr. Mathias’ allegiance lies, Mr. Mathias HAS HAD IT! He raises his voice and says, “I don’t know why you keep saying that!” Then goes on to explain for the elevenbillionity time that as STIPULATED in the charter he represents BOTH! Billy then wants Mr. Chomel, who is the legal council for the council, to weigh in. Mr. Chomel tells Billy that he defers to the opinion of the county attorney. We LOLOLOL, and miraculously Billy shuts his trap.

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-Numerous amendments are added to both of these bills, mainly by Tony. M.C. also has a few, some of which she withdraws due to being redundant to Tony’s. Both amendments she does propose need a second. And both times, Billy so very rudely screams no. Jerry, both times, then seconds them so they can be discussed. One of M.C.’s amendments is to allow 90% of either the residential or commercial owners in a development to vote if a zoning change is to be made in a development in which they bought property. Her theory is that property owners should have a say in something that would change the value of their property, ESPECIALLY if it is different from the original plan. Well, high brow intellectual Billy Shreve screams that this is socialism. Really and truly not understanding the meaning of that word. Her amendment fails.

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Just keep on trucking Billy!

There’s a break and then we come back to hear testimony on the Forest Ordinance Bill. People are pleased that the council worked together with the county executive and the public to work this out! Imagine that, people like it when their government works together and compromises! Not Billy’s dystopian version of it when one side is always pitted against the other.

Tony and Kirby passed on their comments. So, we went to Kirby’s Facebook page and looky what he had to say about banning the AR-15 that just slaughtered a bunch of kids and teachers in Florida:

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#NeverKirbyforCountyExecutive

Jerry wants his constituents to contact him regarding their opinion on the MDX bill. Billy is back, once again, with a sign about the student film contest. Jessica is very pleased with the Forest Ordinance, but wants the council to work on the time frame allowed for putting forth amendments to bills.(It’s supposed to be 3 days before the meeting.) M.C.-feel better soon! And Bud wraps up with some events he’s attended.

There’s two meetings next week people-TWO! You all may have to take us out to dinner for all this!

How are Shrelauter’s campaigns going? Not too good!

Howdy folks! It’s that time of the month where we check out just how well Shrelauter’s campaigns for County Executive and Maryland State Senate are going. With just 6 months to the primary, we are getting into crunch time. Last week, the FNP did a story regarding the first financial reports of local campaigns, and we couldn’t help but chuckle at this:

Annual campaign finance reports filed this week show Giangrande with a cash balance of just over $100,000 in his campaign account while Shreve’s stood at $3,220.

Shreve said he was not concerned and hadn’t really begun fundraising. He planned to start in April, he said, adding that his focus now was on governing.

“I don’t need a lot of money to win this race,” he said.

AND:

Delauter’s spokesman, Cameron Harris, said Delauter was pleased by the number of small donors contributing to his campaign compared with the other candidates.

Harris noted that Delauter was the only one who hadn’t accepted a donation over $1,000. Harris said the campaign pledged not to do so. However, the campaign had accepted more than $1,000 — in separate checks — from at least one donor.

Delauter’s campaign clocked $12,000 in loans, coming from the candidate and some of his business interests.

LOL!!!! Well, lets take a look at Kirby and Billy’s “official” campaign Facebook pages to see how they are handling themselves!

Let’s begin with Kirby:

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So much about this is deceptive. First of all, there are no separate county and property taxes. They are one and the same. Secondly, the county tax rate has NOT been “hiked”. The state has raised some property owner’s assessments, which means they will pay more based on that assessment. However, the county tax rate was not raised. And, have we learned nothing from the first George Bush? You can’t make promises like this! You can’t predict the future!If we were the plagiarizing kind, like some people, we would give this post three thousand Pinocchio noses!

Next up:

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Okay then! Never forget that these two go hand-in-hand! Why is sanctuary in quotes? What does Kirby think that sanctuary represents here?

And we thought at one point Kirby was FOR “sanctuary counties”

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A nice sentiment, but see below:

First of all, sorry Kirby, but there’s no way in hell you wrote a word of this. Secondly, this runs contrary to some other things that Kirby has posted:

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Points to remember, he’s going to roll-back tax hikes that NEVER happened. He’s going to build the cheap schools that will end up costing us more money in the long run. He’s against “sanctuary county”. (Again with the quotes!) And, he wants to take money away from the public school system to create a voucher program. All of this is valuable information folks!

Now, Billy’s page is oh so very sad. So, we’ll just let it speak for itself:

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18 likes! #SAD!

Workshop on Human Trafficking AKA Billy gives reasons to tell us why people are for it!

This afternoon the council will convene to discuss the final report from the Frederick County Human Trafficking Task Force. Billy has told us that there are groups for human trafficking, and we’ll just let Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo handle this one for us this time:

We’ll let you know how the discussion goes.

It’s the last meeting of the year! Let’s celebrate with a whole lot of beer!

 

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Wish we knew Patches! Don’t destroy your liver over him though!

FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! Merry Happy Winter Solstice to thee! It’s the last meeting of 2017, and what a year it has been following this county council. Stay tuned, in the next week or so we’ll be publishing our top 10 stories of the year! For now, grab your agenda, turn on FCGTV, and don’t forget to take care! Shrelauter would love it if something happened to your liver and you couldn’t vote for their opponent next year.

We sure hope Kirby had some time to go through the agenda and prepare this weekend. Seeing as he was busy spreading his “freedom seeds” around:

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Big deep sigh! Any hoo! We are starting off this meeting with lots of recognition and accolades. It gives us a nice warm feeling to see all the good that is done by people in our community.

Next is public comment, should there be any, budget adjustments, and approval of prior meeting’s minutes. We don’t know why this shouldn’t go smoothly, however, since we have a few people up there who like to grandstand and, we suspect, really don’t know what’s going on, there’s bound to be a hiccup here and there. If you should need something to calm your nerves, pop open a nice tall bottle of Belligerent Ass.

We always love it when Lori Depies comes to present. She so professionally handles the questions from the nincompoops, while also correcting their erroneous assumptions. In her honor, we’ll stray away from the beer theme for a moment, to crack open a bottle of our best champagne! Thanks for all you do and have to put up with Ms. Depies!

Next on the list is approval of an annexation in Myersville.  The town of Myersville already voted yes, and it appears the owners of the land want this, so if anyone causes a ruckus, go ahead and slam back a Raging Bitch.

There’s a first reading on a bill on Permitted Uses in a MXD. First readings only take a moment. Then it’s off to a third reading, which means a final council vote, on the Veteran’s Advisory Council. In honor of our men and women in uniform, toast them with an Eagle Lager.

Oh, zzzzzz, a public hearing on water and sewer amendments. We know this stuff is super important, but man oh man, it’s hard to stay awake. Maybe we need to go out and find some caffeinated beer.

We end with one more chance for public comment, and then the last council member comments of 2017. If anyone decides to go on and on, or becomes oh so very rude, break out that college beer bong and fill it with some Grumpy Bear Honey Wheat.

Have a wonderful holiday season our faithful Yokels! We’ll all need to stick together next year when the county election season is in full force! There’s no way this isn’t going to be dramatic!

It’s time to be triggered! Your revisionist history workshop round-up!

 

With discussion of Citizens-Montevue on the agenda, you know Shrelauter is going to have words to say.  For those of you who are new around here, back in 2014 the Young BOCC sold the county nursing homes to a company called Aurora. There was A LOT of criticism concerning this deal, with a very vocal contingent of concerned citizens speaking out against it. When Jan Gardner was elected  County Executive in 2014, one of the first issues she tackled was bringing the nursing homes back into county hands.  Which she did!

Esteemed Budget Director Lori Depies, shows us this very fine power point presentation. Contrary to what Shrelauter told us would happen, the homes are no longer showing a loss! They are actually making money! And taking in more indigent seniors. Well, well, well, all this talk causes Kirby to be triggered.

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Since the beginning of this year, Citizens/Montevue has received a 5 star rating, which is much improved from the 2 star rating they garnered in 2014. Since the county has reacquired the homes, Aurora has been retained as the manager of the facility.  Kirby wants us all to realize that it was a great move to bring Aurora in! You know because the poor scapegoated Young BOCC took much undeserved flak when they opened the door to them! What Kirby is trying to gloss over is that his board’s move was to SELL the nursing home to Aurora not have them manage it, a move that would have put indigent seniors at risk because of the continuing care agreement that the Young board signed with Aurora that stated they only had to take future indigent patients if they happened to have the room! This was a major reason why Jan thought it necessary to return the homes to county control. Plus, the county would have had to come up with an additional $7 million dollars, which was not in the county budget, to give to Aurora should this deal have gone through. So Kirby is once again WRONG and deliberately trying to mislead those of us that don’t pay attention around these parts.

 

Just sub Kirby for defense!

But, nice try #! Billy makes some noise trying to disparage the numbers, but he’s wrong as well, and boring so let’s move on.

Next, up is a presentation from the nice people at the United Way. Take a minute and go through their slide show to learn how many of our neighbors are really struggling to make ends meet in our county and our state.

Lastly, Jerry and Kirby present their dueling Senior Tax Credit bills, which honestly don’t seem very different. Jerry seems to have a better handle of what is in his bill than you know who. Quelle Surprise! Anyhoo, Tony suggests that the two of them sit down and hash out one bill and they actually agree!

Now, your Lady Yokels have to go and check if Alabama is going to remain the boil on the butt of this country!

The Twitter Feeds of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb.

Every few days we check the social media accounts of our favorite local characters. Not only Facebook, but Twitter as well. Boy did we find some jewels today. Lets’s begin with #kirbydelauter:

Isn’t it comforting to know Kirby is totally fine electing a man accused of assaulting and persuing underage girls, and who was dismissed from the Alabama Supreme Court TWICE to the U.S. Senate just so he can get a few thousand dollars back on his taxes? He is literally willing to have a sexual predator serve in the U.S. Senate as long as his wallet is a tad bit greener. What a peach!

The second retweet from Dan Bongino is also very interesting. Especially considering fellas like Kirby are always screaming about the overreach of the federal government. Guess all that federal overreach doesn’t apply when it comes to their precious guns. Pew! Pew!

Now onto Tweedle Dumb. We have no idea in the world what this is about:

If anyone can clear this up, please send us a line. And, it appears as though Shrelauter have started the Dan Bongino fan boyz club!

Not sure who thinks this guy is worthy of an award. Considering this is how he behaves. Plus, he can’t seem to win an election.

Finally, Mr. Ski Instructor is all fine and dandy with the President giving away public lands:

This all begs the question, is there anything that Trump can do that will turn Shrelauter against him? Sure seems as though they are drinking the kool aid to the very last drop.