It’s been awhile. Do you remember how to drinking game?

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Oh, Max is ready to play along. Can we get thinking cats for certain council members? They really need them.

 

It is sometimes difficult to tell by reading the agenda, but tonight’s meeting looks like it could be a real doozy. So take care of your liver. As always, this game is just for giggles. Actually participating in this to the fullest may result in death. You’ve been warned.

The meeting starts as always with public comments. We aren’t going to hold our breath on anyone actually showing up to speak. Just hold your beer, just in case.

A bunch of budget adjustments on first up on the agenda.  Billy will  complain about the library grant because everyone knows folks go to Borders instead, Kirby will kvetch about Citizens, blah, blah, blah. Mix yourself a kitchen sink.

Next up on the agenda, approval of minutes for 4 meetings. When Billy abstains mix yourself up a flaming asshole.

Now, it’s time to discuss a mutual aid agreement between the Fred Co Sheriff, Wash Co Sheriff and Hagerstown City Police. Where are the Fred City Police? Make yourself a missing in action while you ponder that.

Well, well well, it’s time to take a vote on the Maryland Association of Counties Legislative Committee County Council Representation. What? Didn’t Bud already executive decision this? Things could get snippy. Make yourself a T-bone in anticipation of Bud’s phone ringing with its Bad to the Bone ringtone.

What workshop items are in store for us? We don’t know what these are as they aren’t listed on the agenda. This might be a good time to hydrate with some good old water.

Time to look at a petition to close a portion of Old Frederick Road to improve the safety of Route 15. Pick your favorite drink and stick it in a cone when anyone complains about being inconvenienced by this proposal.

Lots of First Readings on the docket! Including those that Billy decided he better get going on before anyone brought up the fact that he did nothing but ABSTAIN during his entire tenure as a council member. Anyhoo, sip on your Lazy Daze while you endure this portion of the evening.

It’s time to vote on the dueling Forest Ordinance bills. With Bud’s voting patterns recently altered, we predict his version will be the one to make it through; Sip on your Forest Funk while you think of all the lost trees.

Before the break, they will vote to pull the Adequate Public Facilities bill, and then Billy will vote against going into closed session. If it isn’t too close to 7:00, we may get treated to Billy complaining about having to waste all his precious time at Winchester Hall.

MDX hearing is the last bit of business this evening. There’s a lot of opposition to this bill because it would theoretically allow a warehouse to go next to a school or a housing development. Mainly, it’s introduction has to do with the fact that the Jefferson Technology Park did not fill up the way the previous BOCC claimed it would. While you listen to the arguments mix up a pitcher of Nuclear Disaster, and think of all the bad things the Young BOCC have brought upon this fine county.

Public and council member comments can get a little dicey, however, you’ve been through enough for one evening.

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Don’t end up like Jonesy.

 

 

Holiday Inspirations, part 4.

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This is not fishing!

This continues our ongoing series to share some of our own Yokel family traditions to help you get in the holiday spirit.

Cousin Earl really likes to fish. Well,  truth be told, he likes to drink beer in peace, and going fishing provides him with peace and quiet to drink to his content. What does that have to do with the Yokel family Christmas? Well cousin Earl brings his favorite fishing snack to our annual gathering.

Beer pickled eggs are the perfect protein to keep you fortified while fishing and to share while waiting for dinner.

Cousin Earl’s Pickled Eggs

2 dozen hard boiled eggs, peeled

1.5 cans of beer

2 cups vinegar

Red pepper flakes

Boil and peel eggs. Cousin Earl thinks you should already know how to did this, so use the interweb if you can’t boil a damn egg.  Mix beer, vinegar and red pepper flakes in a big her. Add eggs. Drink extra half can of beer. Let eggs sit a day or 2. Eat. Repeat.

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Maybe Cousin Earl will make some for you too.

Holiday inspiration, part 3.

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Did you know you can buy stills on the interweb? We found this one at moonshinestills.net

This continues our ongoing series to share some of our own Yokel family traditions to help you get in the holiday spirit.

If you have see an episode of Moonshiners, you may recognize the purpose of the still we included am image of above. This edition of Yokel Holiday Inspirations is inspired by Aunt Mildred’s moonshine.

Aunt Mildred is a distant Yokel with a not so legal habit of distilling her own shine to share at the holidays. We can’t share her recipe here, she keeps that in her head, plus moonshining is not exactly a legal backyard gathering that we can endorse.

We are thankful that over the years. Aunt Mildred has hauled her moonshine across several state lines  at great person risk, just to spread with your local Yokels.

If you want to start your own holiday moonshine tradition, head to your local liquor store to buy yourself a legal version.

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No, no, no, Professor Whiskers! Did you even read this post?

 

Holiday Inspiration, part 2.

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Just like Aunt Gloria, you can pretend you are French when you bake with this.

This continues our ongoing series to share some of our own Yokel family traditions to help you get in the holiday spirit.

Today’s feature is from Aunt Gloria. She loves to bring dessert to our holiday gatherings. Aunt Gloria has a fondness for all things orange. Her holiday treat features Grand Marnier. It is safe to say she samples a lot while making this yummy version of pound cake. Measure the flour, take a sip. Measure the sugar, take a sip. You get the idea. Please make sure you save some for the cake!

You’ll find Aunt Gloria’s recipe here. She may be a good baker, but she is not original. You can recognize Aunt Gloria by her orange blossom perfume and by the hiccups she gets when she bakes this cake.

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No, no, no! Do not feed this to Mr. Jingles!

Holiday inspiration, Yokel style.

Picard yummy

This holiday season we are going to share some of our own Yokel family traditions to help you get in the holiday spirit. This will be an ongoing series of one special daily recipe. You may even want to pull some of these items out to help you get through a council meeting.

Our first tasty item is from the kitchen of Uncle Fred. Good ole Fred would make huge batches of this to send home with everyone every Christmas. He told us it was beef, but I’m not sure if that is what he used every year. We learned not to ask as Uncle Fred had a fondness for anything he could hunt for himself. One year, I accidently found out he used groundhog after being hired by several neighbors to help them with a groundhog infestation.  Anyway, you can recognize Uncle Fred if you see him around town by his groundhog teeth necklace.

Here is the recipe. I had to promise to let Uncle Fred hunt squirrel on my property to get this from him. I later found out he got this off Pinterest so jokes on me.

Yummy jerkyYummy jerky

Enjoy!

Bottoms up! Please make sure you are seated before imbibing.

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You better Jenkins, or you may end up in the hospital!

Lots of items on the agenda for tonight’s meeting so please make sure you are properly prepared with a comfy seat. As always, take care not to overindulge. The Yokels are not responsible for any damage you may do to your livers and we really do need you to be back again for the next meeting.

First up public comments. If no one shows up, drink some ginger ale. You are going to want to coat your stomach with a preventative liner.

Next are a bunch of budget amendments. When Billy complains that he still doesn’t have a budget analyst to help him read, throw back a flaming asshole. You know why.

Business items are up next. Three meetings worth of minutes need to be approved plus confirmations, bond authorizations and new workshop items. Someone is going to abstain so get ready to drink a mojito mocktail. 

Next up are first readings of four different items.  Forest resources, DRRA, APF for school construction are going to be discussed. We predict tempers will flair (the 3 usual suspects). This could go long, so pick your own personal favorite beverage to slowly sip during this portion of the meeting. We still have more to get through and you will want your wits about you.

A public hearing on bonds for Mount St. Mary’s University is up next. Mix up an Irish Catholic to set the mood.

Next a third reading on the Wood Waste Recycling bill. Are you still upright??? Time for a boozy affagato. You’ll need that espresso to help you stay awake for the rest of the meeting.

Take a break until 7. If the meeting ran until 7, and you don’t get a break, grab a glass of good old fashioned water. Your liver needs a break.

Next up a second reading on the Veteran’s Advisory Council.  You’ll want to mix up an American Spirit for this one.  Just drink it because we all support veterans.

I can’t believe there is still more, but next comes a public hearing on rezoning the Ballenger PUD. Throw back a I’m Ya Huckleberry when Billy asks a question someone has already answered.

We are almost done.  We just have to get through public and council member comments. Time to throw back a shot of C. This one is for your health.  Right????

Oops
Oops. Don’t say we didn’t warn you Smokey!

Off to a very poor start: An analysis of Kathy Afzali’s county executive website!

We know you were waiting on the edge of your seat for Delegate Kathy Afzali’s not-so-mystery announcement! Now that her county executive run is official, we had to take a little looksie at her website. Look what we found:

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Final Site?

What’s even more intriguing is this statement emphasized at the very top:

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Someone needs a proof reader!

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We can’t let the fertile comment go either!!! LOL!!! What are these fertile conditions?!! Please, please tell us Kathy!

We clicked on another page and got all teacher-like:

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Then we got bored and couldn’t continue because this was literally going to take ALL DAY!! She’s got A LOT of work to do before we can even begin to take her campaign seriously!