River board row

The bottomless well of drama with regards to the Monocacy River Board brings up some particular issues we have with the inconsistently applied logic surrounding this. (e.g. Border Wall: GREAT!!! Monocacy River Health: LAND GRAB!!!)

We recently hosted a bit of a brouhaha on our wall when we got persnickety about Sheriff Non-Expert spending more time mugging for the Fox News cameras about border issues he is ill acquainted with, in spite of his famous field trip, than dealing with the likes of human trafficking and opioids (the third pillar of #BeBEST, y’all! get with the program, already). It’s a bug up our toots that the same Wall Enthusiast Clan has labeled efforts to preserve the river as a land grab when it is not, yet taking ranchers in Texas’ access to the waterway their cattle use actually would be a land grab that would destroy their livelihoods.  heavy sighhhhhhhhh 

Here is a sample: OH NOES…the example we were set to provide was from a Local Wall Enthusiast who apparently deleted his dumb argument when confronted with how ill informed he is about stuff that happens way far away. Yippee? This is a great opportunity to note that the same fool was back and forth and up and down with some ladies disputing him in the comments, but as soon as a man told him he didn’t know what he was talking about, he tucked tail and ran, deleting the evidence of his misguided assumptions. Protip: mansplanations are not better than information.

And on the subject of information, we know Billy Shreve has a history of being loosely acquainted with science. Holy moly, that old historical reference is a doozy. We were having a Local Yokel STEM night and discussing a science article about how the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone National Park has changed the river health there because now the deer stay out of the deathtraps that river valleys create for them and their population is better controlled by natural predation, so the vegetation on the river has helped to create a barrier against erosion. Apparently Yellowstone is trying to be Yellowstone and let the Grand Canyon keep doing its thing. Billy will be sad. The fact that we had all individually read or seen something about this brought us to our next point. Being ignorant is a choice, whether you are talking about eminent domain or erosion.

Information.

Anywhooooo. M.C. Keegan-Ayer goes above and beyond in the name of transparency and service to the citizens who have vested interests and legitimate concerns, and who’s against that? All of the Republicans on the Council. Isn’t that a great irony? Well, actually…not so much anymore, sadly. More like par for the course. Philosophy has nothing to do with their decision making. Tribalism is the whole picture. No wonder Bud Otis disassociated from the party and has gone rogue independent maverick-like.

If you will click through the link above about M.C. Keegan-Ayer’s resolution in the Frederick News Post, we would like to make a special mention shoutout to the astute engaged citizenry commenting on the article there. We thought “petulantly lazy” as a description of Billy Shreve perfectly addressed his conduct both yesterday and since forever. We would also like to boost one comment in particular–that of Matt Seubert, who is the current president of RALE.

Well done, sir! Although we would be remiss if we didn’t say that although none of the present day coterie of LocalYokels lives in D2, we also think Lisa Jarosinski is pretty cool. She has been actively involved with RALE as well. Bipartisan chill, between her and Steve McKay. D2 could be a win-win race, if Republicans do it right in the primary.

Let’s stop voting for people who don’t care about anything but causing problems and creating scenes. It will make our hobby very boring, which would be better for everyone in Frederick County. In fact, if we could do that, the whole country would be better off.

 

Let’s listen to the adults here.

steampunk-bazooka-goes-pew-pew-pew-pew-cute-aptions-com-11666119
It’s okay Freckles, you can come out from the plumbing.

Check out the article in today’s FNP about Kirby’s Gun Sanctuary. If you missed our post on this nonsense last night click here.

We just want to point out the quotes from his opposition in the Republican primary for county executive.

Delegate Kathy Afzali (R-District 4) wrote in an email: “I support the Constitution and all of its amendments, that includes the Second Amendment. Frederick County is already prohibited from taking actions that violate the U.S. Constitution. It is the great thing about living in America. I will not only uphold the Constitution, but I will clean out the squabbling politicians from County government. County government lets developers rule the roost. Clean house and protect the Constitution. I can do both.”

So read between the not so subtle lines here, Kirby you are one of the squabblers, and you need to go.

Regina Williams wrote: “I commend Kirby for his stance on Second Amendment issues. While I am a supporter myself of 2A, as County Executive, I plan to focus on issues within the County’s purview including County taxes, permitting processes, school safety and the heroin/opioid epidemic. Perhaps Kirby would be better suited for a state or federal elected position where he would have jurisdiction over his political priorities.”

We are going to disagree with any notion that Kirby would be better suited to a state or federal position. Kirby should just retire from any public office.

We will just wait for the next thing Kirby does that makes both Afzali and Regina continue to look like better options in the Republican primary.

Whereas, Kirby proposes Frederick County as a sanctuary ground for all the poor persecuted guns. WARNING: We did not make this up!

download (4).jpeg

Into the old inbox this afternoon appeared a very interesting read. Kirby (copied from Zeus only knows where) has prepared a Resolution that he has to know the council will not pass. The best way to go through this mumble jumble of American constitutional thought is to lay it out for you bit by bit! With commentary of course!

Screen Shot 2018-05-17 at 4.41.51 PM.png

Man, this is going to be a lot of work for us. Let’s first look at the bills he’s upset at.  First on the docket HB1302, which apparently violates the majority of The Bill of Rights:

Screen Shot 2018-05-17 at 5.10.52 PM.png

We’ve been here before with Kirby. He previously made us defend Kathy Afzali for voting for this bill. Basically a judge, not just some guy, has to determine that your behavior is severe enough to warrant having your weapons TEMPORARILY removed. You know because of cases like this. In sum, it’s to keep violent people, especially domestic abusers, from killing people. We cannot fathom why Kirby’s love for the weapon supersedes this common sense legislation.  (Doesn’t a case coming before a judge indicate that some sort of due process has occurred?)

Next up, SB707. Here’s both the summary of the bill and part of the fiscal analysis.

Screen Shot 2018-05-17 at 5.16.32 PMScreen Shot 2018-05-17 at 5.16.44 PM

Anyone else notice how that analysis is in direct contradiction to what Kirby said about people already owning rapid fire triggers becoming instant felons?

Last bill on the complaint list. SB 281:

Screen Shot 2018-05-17 at 5.24.57 PM.png

You may remember this bill being upheld by the Federal Judiciary and that the Supreme Court REFUSED to hear any arguments against it. Thereby upholding its constitutionality. Because the Supreme Court (you know that pesky due process arm of the government) has also stated:

“Like most rights, the Second Amendment right is not unlimited. It is not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose.  For example, concealed weapons prohibitions … possessions of firearms by felons and the mentally ill, carrying of firearms in sensitive places such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing condition and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms.”

And that part about the Maryland Constitution being severally violated by all of these laws? Well, we read it and the only part that we could find that was even close to mentioning guns (and it didn’t) was:

Screen Shot 2018-05-17 at 5.02.01 PM.png

Some more study may be needed. Do ya want to see the rest? Neither did we, but here it is:

Screen Shot 2018-05-17 at 5.34.14 PMScreen Shot 2018-05-17 at 4.42.11 PM

LOOK at that final FURTHER RESOLUTION!  He proposes that Frederick County be a safe place for all the poor illegal assault weapons. And, he wants the Frederick County Sheriff’s office to not enforce these state laws!!!! HOLY SHITE ON A CRACKER!

Has he not heard the news that most Americans are in favor of banning these types of weapons, as well as favoring universal background checks. Most people agree that bump stocks and rapid trigger devices aren’t so hunky dory. AND most people support getting weapons out of the hands of people who should not have them, even Kathy Afzali. Just who is Kirby trying to appeal to here?

Where the sidewalk ends (in Emmitsburg)

If you saw our post about this week’s budget amendment circus, you know already that Kirby put forth an amendment to slash a grant funding sidewalk improvements in Emmitsburg by 40%; he claimed they wouldn’t need it all, because he was going to take care of the portion in front of his business. M.C. Keegan-Ayer said she was uncomfortable supporting the amendment without hearing from the mayor. Has she got his number, or what?! Because lo and behold, The Frederick News Post reports today that the mayor was a bit surprised that this amendment passed (the only of this year’s catalog of fantasy budget cut amendments that passed), because he didn’t think this proposal was doable. Read it for yourself here.

(Fun fact: if you Google “Frederick News Post Kirby Delauter” the first hit that comes up is the greatest op-ed piece of all time from when Kirby threatened to sue Bethany Rodgers for using his name in the paper. Lolololololol. It’s still funny. We do wonder what we will all point and laugh at when Billy and Kirby are finally kicked to the curb. Probably some other gem who acts like he escaped from The Silver Linings Playbook will run for mayor or something. We don’t even know what to hope for. Be careful what you wish for…as the song goes.)

nooooooooooooooooooo

Now we don’t really know what Jerry Donald intended to do when he said he would defer to Kirby since he represents the Council District Emmitsburg is in. It seemed like a “please proceed [at your own risk]” maneuver from the Local Yokel sofa perspective. Maybe we imagine these things are performance art when they are not.

There is an update to this tale where Kirby explains to the Frederick News Post later this afternoon that he never got the email that Mayor Briggs didn’t want to proceed with the Kirby/Emmitsburg Sidewalk Enhancement Cooperative where Kirby paves the way in front of his business. Make of this what you will, just as we have (DIY CYA?). Hopefully Emmitsburg gets its sidewalks and a better Councilperson in 2018.

Annual tradition: fantasy budget cuts

In case you are new here, every year Kirby comes up with “fat” that we can trim from the budget (also Tony and Billy, but mostly Kirby) in the form of unicorn and rainbows amendments. He proposes a bunch of stuff without knowing really what this money does or what happens when we take it away. Like today when we tried to cut the money for library staff at Walkersville and Myersville. Oopsie-daisy-dummy. (Failed) Sometimes he has to pull his own amendments because he didn’t know what they were. Weird how that happens.

Just as long as you don’t become the County Executive, do whatever.

We breezed onto the scene right about the time Billy tried to suspend the rules and let The Yellow T-Shirt Brigade take over. We expected shenanigans and malarkey, because Billy was involved, but in reality this was the Career Firefighters’ Association, and their presence there and contributions everywhere are very much appreciated by Local Yokels and all of our friends everywhere. We are very pleased that our assumptions are wrong, because they were somewhat dark, based upon Billy’s Twitter feed and the black hole of intellect that can drag a yokel into. On the upside, Billy Shreve’s State Senate page only has 35 likes, so we may be free of his torment soon.

Something like this scene occurred (text transcript)

Kirby just got petulant because they don’t want to cut $$ for MET to go do theater programs at schools with high percent FARM (that’s free and reduced meals, if you don’t know the lingo) lunch kids because they had no problem voting down a quarter mil for Classical Charter.
M.C.’s reply: We haven’t voted on that yet.
Kirby: Well, the last two years!
Yokel text: Oh my God. You know what we should do? Find the post we wrote about his amendments last year and see if it matches up. Just to prove what a dead horse beater he is!
Man, oh man. Even the broken sidewalk budget cuts are part of the historical record! (Tonight Kirby explained that he had made a handshake deal with the mayor of Emmitsburg and he’s going to split the cost of the sidewalk repairs. M.C. was as uncomfortable as we would have been not knowing whether or not Mr. Mayor had agreed to this, but Jerry counseled that it was Kirby’s D and if he didn’t want to fix the sidewalks one way or the other, that would be his problem in the end. So fine. That all works out spiffy.)
But enough about Kirby, because Tony Chmelik got in a complete snit over $45,000 for an administration position in the Office of Economic Development. Since they’ve been doing a grand old job, even though they haven’t filled a position, but have needed to for four years, it’s obviously fine to continue overworking people there who are covering that shift, so to speak. Surely nobody who is doing extra work all the damn time will find a new job where they don’t have to put up with that. Right, Billy and Kirby? Suggestion: you volunteer your time, just like teachers do when they are grading and planning and documenting after school and on weekends, and sacrifice pay for being useless human bookends to the council since you apparently earn money for other things that you do in life. The pay of two marginally sentient council persons will cover one administrator in the OED. Problem solved! Also, tons of egregious mansplaining from Tony Chmelik here. The Lady Yokels felt that Helen Propheter was a particular heroine tonight, because who wants to be treated like that IN PUBLIC for their job? Nobody. Billy and Kirby also had “contributions” to this discussion in the form of: won’t we need to build all the houses you keep telling us to stop approving? NO. The answer is no. Some people already live here and could work closer to home, and would even like that. Question: what if we just made Jefferson TECH Park make the leap from fiction to nonfiction?
Jessica is a hero tonight, over and over again. Every time Kirby and Tony tried to snip, snap the budget she jumped in, diplomatically, like an excellent teacher, to guide them toward the information showing that they are so very, very wrong. For all her hard work this evening we present her the following award:
Screen Shot 2018-05-08 at 7.49.25 PM.png
We are also happy to report that Bud landed on the side of county employees by helping to defeat Kirby and Tony’s austerity amendments. Nice to see you back on the team, Bud!

May Day meeting: mayday! mayday!

Here is your agenda for May Day’s Sobriety Challenge. There are budget adjustments, and since this is like Cheers, “where everybody knows your name,” we all know who will be oppositional during the regular scheduled business portion up top. It is not worth endangering our blessed livers to drink for this anymore. We will need these in working order just so we can get through the next election.

The first new business pertains to a bill regarding the Frederick County Sustainability Commission. Sustainability sounds like socialism (not really, but whatever certain people don’t like is “the socialist agenda”) so…queue up the histrionics? Take your mayday swig of whatever you have handy if any related slippery slope variety nonsense comes up. Cheap wine straight from a bottle (box/spigot?) seems fitting.

Council decisions will be required for three separate items.

  • Elderly Individual and Retired Military Tax Credit: if Billy Shreve finally accomplishes something…Well, lets not go overboard. This is a good bill, we should make a nice toast, take a sip, and carry on under the informed hypothesis that it will be back to the regularly scheduled B.S.B.S.
  • Off Track Betting: prediction–this will pass easily, based on the prior discussions. Giddy Up! Maybe have a Black-Eyed Susan, which seems hella elitist for video gambling, but we have to spruce things up on occasion, don’t we?
  • Veterans Advisory Council: this better pass, and there’s no reason to think it wouldn’t. Unanimously. Another toast for what happens when government functions cooperatively. If something goes horribly awry, chug the bottle.

Public hearings are scheduled before the break, and after, and this is going to be a lot to digest. We have Installment Purchase Programs, City Enterprise Zone for the Golden Mile, and a Petition to alter county roads in the city watershed. Definitely have some bread and pasta during the break if you’re going to keep up with this game after the break, because first up is Constant Yield, and you must know we are going to get another lesson on how keeping the property tax rate the same is a tax increase because the county will get more money, which one would imagine may make a certain amount of sense, since if they have to purchase any land or anything it is at today’s prices and not yesteryear’s. Suggested solution: finish your glass.

Mayday! Mayday! Math, how does it work?

Thankfully (and miraculously) Kirby and Jerry have done the magical bipartisan duo thing to craft a relief bill to supplement seniors, because their property values are going up, and consequently their tax bill is higher. This is the right idea for legislation, because this is also important for people on fixed incomes. If Kirby toots his own horn for his very lately discovered election season cooperative sensibility…what do we mean, “if…”? When Kirby pats himself on the back, finish that bottle.

Switch to rosé. Gag. Also up for discussion is that whole thing about whether your neighborhood pool/tennis court/community center has to actually be in your neighborhood, if it is to be exclusive to your neighborhood. What kind of special mediocre elite nonsense is this meant to address anyway, anyway? If you want a country club, go join one. FFS. Your bottle was empty after Kirby’s issue above anyway, right? Now you will definitely have a headache in the morning.

And that brings us to Adequate Public Facilities. Rest In Peace.

 

 

 

April 17th meeting menu: third reading casserole with Fredneck salad

Here is an exact transcript of our text messages concerning the first part of the meeting (yawn):

Billy voted against the agenda.
Abstained on the budget adjustments.
Voted for the minutes.
 He is such an idiot
Then both he and Kirby gave the same tired old argument about how keeping the tax rate the same is the same as a tax hike.
For the 4th year in a row.
Then there was a magical interlude of professionalism wherein the Retired Military Tax Credit was combed through by county staff before it passed, and we moved on to the circus events.
Billy had proposed legislation requiring that council members receive some minuscule amount of education regarding what the hell they are supposed to be doing there. Presumably this is because Billy is confuzzled. Possibly because he says he took a thing online with a quiz and it took five minutes, so what’s the big deal? How very educational. M.C. Keegan-Ayer proposed some amendments, which Tony Chmelik felt neutered the power of that legislation since it made it a mere suggestion. M.C. was basically like (to paraphrase this as we would have said it), look, don’t get all snippy with me, I was just trying to polish Billy’s turd here. Nobody was into making unnecessary laws, except Billy. Failed 1-6.

Then there was the zoning violation drama, which is naturally a big ol thing to the nincompoop faction, in large part because of the great wedding venue drama of 2016. Billy and Kirby are both very upset that zoning complaints can be filed anonymously and for some weird reason they are allergic to anonymous criticism (neener-neener), and so Jerry Donald had to explain to them that some people may be afraid of their neighbors–and for good reason. (Tangential thought: can you imagine if Billy Shreve or Kirby Delauter were your neighbor? And you had some sort of property dispute? Scary.) At one point M.C. made it clear that she was not even able to try and fix this. Sigh. This failed too, because obviously. Turd status: unpolishable.

Also there was the wood chipping scandal (it’s as if these bills Billy launch begin a listicle of Billy and Kirby’s prior buffoonery and proof that neither of them deserve to hold current office and certainly do not deserve to be entrusted with any additional responsibilities). Their position here, in a nutshell, is that these people have been in violation of the law for ages now, and how is it fair that someone noticed and is going to make them stop? Scandalous indeed! In fact, it becomes rather clear through Kirby’s bellyaching about County Executive Jan Gardner’s role in these zoning violations matters that he still does not understand the different branches of government under the charter. How is he going to be the county executive if he doesn’t know what that is? It will be a lot like the current status of Billy Shreve, who does not know what he is supposed to be doing ever.

This bill failed because the one business it was initially custom tailored by Councildolt Shreve to benefit–until Tony Chmelik took over the turd polishing operation–was likely to be harmed by it, and hardly anyone thought that was a good idea. At one point during the discussion of this (or it could have been the earlier bill, but no matter) Billy was so stuck in oppositional defiant mode that he started opposing his own position. It was really a scene. Billy still remembers to like his own dumb ideas in the end, though. And after all that grandstanding and noise that Kirby made here, he voted against it!

Off-track betting passed unanimously. It now has to go back for public hearing.