TFW they’re still doing it: squeeeeee the local Republican autodefenestrations continue!

Kirby Delauter’s Facebook page has it all. Man these people are excellent at making themselves look insane on social media. This would be a good time to remind everyone not to vote for Cindy “F Your Feelings” Rose.

This is only the beginning. It goes on and on…and on…and on…

Honestly, there is so much packed into this Mexican standoff, it is hard to limit ourselves. It’s a public post on Kirby’s page, if you’d like to do your own rubbernecking.

Danny Farrar immediately rebuts, in a post approximately as long as that horrible David Foster Wallace novel that we have mercifully forgotten the title of, and things go downhill from there.

You mean to write, “…only Kathy and me…” Oh toss it all, we aren’t going to start editing for another one of these dingbats.

 

He’s still not done.

You can see how the factions are aligning. It’s a shame, really, that Danny (according to some people we know) used to slobber all over Billy and Kirby at SoldierFit, to the point that the egregious sycophancy caused them to discontinue patronizing Danny’s business and NOW LOOK! Was it worth it?! Now he’s in a big, undignified “you throw all your friends under the bus” spat with him. And Danny is sure not wrong here, but…this is also as undignified as a Young Family Facebook Reunion.

Is he questioning Kirby’s manhood? It kinda seems like he is questioning Kirby’s manhood…lol, we approve of this. Still, don’t vote for Danny Farrar. We have candidates who can discern a low IQ when they see it. I mean, only one of our council members has been ridiculed by the national media for his stupidity…and that one is Kirby. When you think about the superlative stupidity contest, that is pretty bad.

Oh here’s some solid evidence of the low IQ thing: Kirby’s anointed County Executive candidate in disagreement with Kirby and all his friends on their hot button issue!

It’s never too late to learn, yo…

 

And, there it is! BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

He just basically says, “What? Cut off my nose to spite my face? Why yes, I do think I will, thanks for asking!”

Seth Eisenberg chimes in to defend Kirby and chastise Danny (random thought that just occurred to us: why are grown adults named Billy and Danny in this county?). Please someone sit Seth down and explain how “you’re” is a thing. His contributions are lame, and he manages to look dumb in content, contribution, and composition.

The Cindy/Mary spat has been a wonder to behold.

Cindy Rose (Worst and Most Often Failed BOE Candidate Forever) and Mary Posey’s spat dates back to an earlier episode, which caused the Republican Club of Frederick County to lock down their page. We like to call that winning! We temporarily quarantined some terrible ideas, thereby depriving us of all the pointing and laughing that Kirby’s page has resuscitated here.

It’s amazing how she is always trying to be deliberately obtuse for the purposes of gotcha. And what a dumb argument for her to get involved in. Being disagreeable is her hobby. Like the candidate may not have been out for days on his own…oh well, whatever. We skipped all the back and forth with Danny about “binding arbitration” and whether he is with or against the firefighters and it does kind of seem like he’d rather not be for or against it. This issue has been really interesting to see from all sides.

One observation we have come away with: people we used to think were way out there don’t even crack the Top 10 Farthest Out There in This Neck of the Woods. We do apologize for our earlier harsh judgment.

Carry on fools!

 

TFW the local Republicans go cannibal

You are definitely going to want to see this. Team Hogan Frederick County Edition has emerged, and since Team Hogan is code for Team Afzali (*actual Hogan endorsements ambiguous) a brouhaha has ensued on the Republican Club of Frederick County page. The principal players are One Potted Plant Enthusiast, Area Woman, #KirbyDelauter, and Our Least Favorite School Board Candidate in History (et. al. aspiring BOE idiots). All have gone Full Donner Party, and they aren’t going to wait for anyone to get cold before they roll up to the all day cray cray buffet.

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Although this post is principally about the epic mudslinging going on on the Republican Club of Frederick County’s page…(there are two, because of course there are; when you look at this hot mess it appears that soon each Republican will need their very own club, because otherwise they would be part of a slate that no one can tolerate)…anyway, we would be remiss if we didn’t wonder how to freeze taxes and fix infrastructure. Like that’s free. That sounds like some GWB nonsense. How “fiscally conservative” of them.

Here are some of the beautiful things that are going on for all the world to see. We can start with this announcement of our intentions:

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yah. That’s the idea.

Cindy Rose adamantly refuses to vote for Afzali and maligns anyone who appears with her as having the stench of Afzali on them. There is a mighty feud between Cindy Rose and Mary Posey on this point, because Mary Posey understands how politics works, and the bulk of these other people seemingly do not. They take Mrs. Posey’s superior comprehension personally. Dummies gonna dumb, yo.

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In Afzali’s defense (gag), it would be so easy to have a personal problem with someone who has a personal problem with everyone, and who now refuses to compromise during an election because she has a personal problem. #irony
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Guess who we specifically would not trust on the little things? If you think it is someone who didn’t take the time to read a picture book with about 45 words in it to discern whether or not it is socialist propaganda before spouting off about it, step up and collect your prize!

Kirby blames Chuck Jenkins for Afzali’s win. ICYMI Jenkins and Afzali have a difficult history, which is also fun. These people must have the best parties. Like the Palins in the neighbor’s driveway…

 

Kirby blasting off at Jenkins is the most fun we’ve had in years.

 

This dramedy between Jill King (failed aldermanic candidate from days of yore) and Seth Eisenberg (failed BOE candidate and supermoron) goes on for awhile, mostly a lot of the same. None of it surprising.

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Then Jill King deigns to take up the mantle of Miss Manners, and Seth Eisenberg may be a total jerk, but he isn’t wrong about the figurative running of her mouth online. So that’s too funny.

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Not really the main idea, but who is Fred Propheter’s ideal conservative?! Yikes. Incidentally, Jill is correct, they are crazy to behave like this, but please proceed, right? There’s a field day to be had.

Boy howdy. Nothing like an intramural butthurt festival to get the Local Yokel Correspondents popping our popcorn. Incidentally, we hate that word, but it always seems to be a favorite maneuver in any Frederick County Republican Online Catfight. The County Council Watch Membership has some sort of butthurt identification service, apparently, because it comes up a lot. Either that or they are as emotionally mature as the average twelve year old.

Kirby calls Mary Posey a “POS.”

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We’re always surprised when we see Mary Posey’s perspective. We thought she was wacky when it seemed like Bud Otis’s moderate politics were a personal affront, speaking of taking things personally. But today is a different day. Wow.

Oh! And then there is this! Different space, but on the same topic of cannibalism, Kirby endorses Kai Hagen over Danny Farrar! The one endorsement Kai may have preferred to skip. But oh well, right? We will all hope to see more of Kirby’s Epic Sour Grapes. Election 2018 is going to be more fun than we had hoped for!

 

 

Yokel thoughts on the election.

First of all, WOW…just WOW! The three that we write most about (Kirby, Billy, and Tony) couldn’t muster up enough votes among their own party to make it to the general election. I guess it wasn’t just us! Billy really got his backside handed to him:

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Holy moly macaroni!

And the other two, who at least didn’t get trounced quite as badly:

But, still lost. We’ve been asked what we are going to do without these three to write about. And our answer to that is:

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For we care more about this county being governed by capable people than having material for the blog. Plus, there will always be SOMEONE.

We’ve been looking around the interwebs and have seen that many, many Republicans are super upset about Afzali snagging the nomination. We even saw this proclamation from Cindy:

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Most of those upset (including Cindy; so much for mean what you say and say what you mean…oh wait, she’s just mean) are now advocating for Earl Robbins’ Independent campaign, so you can imagine how that’s all going to work out. Please proceed. Cindy and Blaine are amongst those who have already come out to support him. He must be pleased to receive the Silver Linings Playbook Slate endorsement. The infighting/betrayals of this county party are really a sight to behold, folks!

And yes, Cindy made it through to 6th place out of 8th in the BOE race.  Even she knows that it almost insurmountable. And if you know anyone who is confused about how to vote in the general election, you can find ample evidence online to share with them. Be forewarned: she considers it “bullying” when you cite her own words, er…uh, her own madness against her. Take heart that she received about 1/2 the votes she did last time, so we aren’t too worried. NONE of her slate made it, so thankfully we don’t have to draw your attention to any of them any longer.

More good news:

 

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Galen Clagett came in last, showing that he wasn’t able to fool enough people into thinking he was some kind of Progressive Democrat!

Let’s all enjoy walking on cloud 9 today. We will regroup to prep for November very soon. Whoo hoo!

 

River board row

The bottomless well of drama with regards to the Monocacy River Board brings up some particular issues we have with the inconsistently applied logic surrounding this. (e.g. Border Wall: GREAT!!! Monocacy River Health: LAND GRAB!!!)

We recently hosted a bit of a brouhaha on our wall when we got persnickety about Sheriff Non-Expert spending more time mugging for the Fox News cameras about border issues he is ill acquainted with, in spite of his famous field trip, than dealing with the likes of human trafficking and opioids (the third pillar of #BeBEST, y’all! get with the program, already). It’s a bug up our toots that the same Wall Enthusiast Clan has labeled efforts to preserve the river as a land grab when it is not, yet taking ranchers in Texas’ access to the waterway their cattle use actually would be a land grab that would destroy their livelihoods.  heavy sighhhhhhhhh 

Here is a sample: OH NOES…the example we were set to provide was from a Local Wall Enthusiast who apparently deleted his dumb argument when confronted with how ill informed he is about stuff that happens way far away. Yippee? This is a great opportunity to note that the same fool was back and forth and up and down with some ladies disputing him in the comments, but as soon as a man told him he didn’t know what he was talking about, he tucked tail and ran, deleting the evidence of his misguided assumptions. Protip: mansplanations are not better than information.

And on the subject of information, we know Billy Shreve has a history of being loosely acquainted with science. Holy moly, that old historical reference is a doozy. We were having a Local Yokel STEM night and discussing a science article about how the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone National Park has changed the river health there because now the deer stay out of the deathtraps that river valleys create for them and their population is better controlled by natural predation, so the vegetation on the river has helped to create a barrier against erosion. Apparently Yellowstone is trying to be Yellowstone and let the Grand Canyon keep doing its thing. Billy will be sad. The fact that we had all individually read or seen something about this brought us to our next point. Being ignorant is a choice, whether you are talking about eminent domain or erosion.

Information.

Anywhooooo. M.C. Keegan-Ayer goes above and beyond in the name of transparency and service to the citizens who have vested interests and legitimate concerns, and who’s against that? All of the Republicans on the Council. Isn’t that a great irony? Well, actually…not so much anymore, sadly. More like par for the course. Philosophy has nothing to do with their decision making. Tribalism is the whole picture. No wonder Bud Otis disassociated from the party and has gone rogue independent maverick-like.

If you will click through the link above about M.C. Keegan-Ayer’s resolution in the Frederick News Post, we would like to make a special mention shoutout to the astute engaged citizenry commenting on the article there. We thought “petulantly lazy” as a description of Billy Shreve perfectly addressed his conduct both yesterday and since forever. We would also like to boost one comment in particular–that of Matt Seubert, who is the current president of RALE.

Well done, sir! Although we would be remiss if we didn’t say that although none of the present day coterie of LocalYokels lives in D2, we also think Lisa Jarosinski is pretty cool. She has been actively involved with RALE as well. Bipartisan chill, between her and Steve McKay. D2 could be a win-win race, if Republicans do it right in the primary.

Let’s stop voting for people who don’t care about anything but causing problems and creating scenes. It will make our hobby very boring, which would be better for everyone in Frederick County. In fact, if we could do that, the whole country would be better off.

 

Let’s listen to the adults here.

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It’s okay Freckles, you can come out from the plumbing.

Check out the article in today’s FNP about Kirby’s Gun Sanctuary. If you missed our post on this nonsense last night click here.

We just want to point out the quotes from his opposition in the Republican primary for county executive.

Delegate Kathy Afzali (R-District 4) wrote in an email: “I support the Constitution and all of its amendments, that includes the Second Amendment. Frederick County is already prohibited from taking actions that violate the U.S. Constitution. It is the great thing about living in America. I will not only uphold the Constitution, but I will clean out the squabbling politicians from County government. County government lets developers rule the roost. Clean house and protect the Constitution. I can do both.”

So read between the not so subtle lines here, Kirby you are one of the squabblers, and you need to go.

Regina Williams wrote: “I commend Kirby for his stance on Second Amendment issues. While I am a supporter myself of 2A, as County Executive, I plan to focus on issues within the County’s purview including County taxes, permitting processes, school safety and the heroin/opioid epidemic. Perhaps Kirby would be better suited for a state or federal elected position where he would have jurisdiction over his political priorities.”

We are going to disagree with any notion that Kirby would be better suited to a state or federal position. Kirby should just retire from any public office.

We will just wait for the next thing Kirby does that makes both Afzali and Regina continue to look like better options in the Republican primary.

Whereas, Kirby proposes Frederick County as a sanctuary ground for all the poor persecuted guns. WARNING: We did not make this up!

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Into the old inbox this afternoon appeared a very interesting read. Kirby (copied from Zeus only knows where) has prepared a Resolution that he has to know the council will not pass. The best way to go through this mumble jumble of American constitutional thought is to lay it out for you bit by bit! With commentary of course!

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Man, this is going to be a lot of work for us. Let’s first look at the bills he’s upset at.  First on the docket HB1302, which apparently violates the majority of The Bill of Rights:

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We’ve been here before with Kirby. He previously made us defend Kathy Afzali for voting for this bill. Basically a judge, not just some guy, has to determine that your behavior is severe enough to warrant having your weapons TEMPORARILY removed. You know because of cases like this. In sum, it’s to keep violent people, especially domestic abusers, from killing people. We cannot fathom why Kirby’s love for the weapon supersedes this common sense legislation.  (Doesn’t a case coming before a judge indicate that some sort of due process has occurred?)

Next up, SB707. Here’s both the summary of the bill and part of the fiscal analysis.

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Anyone else notice how that analysis is in direct contradiction to what Kirby said about people already owning rapid fire triggers becoming instant felons?

Last bill on the complaint list. SB 281:

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You may remember this bill being upheld by the Federal Judiciary and that the Supreme Court REFUSED to hear any arguments against it. Thereby upholding its constitutionality. Because the Supreme Court (you know that pesky due process arm of the government) has also stated:

“Like most rights, the Second Amendment right is not unlimited. It is not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose.  For example, concealed weapons prohibitions … possessions of firearms by felons and the mentally ill, carrying of firearms in sensitive places such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing condition and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms.”

And that part about the Maryland Constitution being severally violated by all of these laws? Well, we read it and the only part that we could find that was even close to mentioning guns (and it didn’t) was:

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Some more study may be needed. Do ya want to see the rest? Neither did we, but here it is:

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LOOK at that final FURTHER RESOLUTION!  He proposes that Frederick County be a safe place for all the poor illegal assault weapons. And, he wants the Frederick County Sheriff’s office to not enforce these state laws!!!! HOLY SHITE ON A CRACKER!

Has he not heard the news that most Americans are in favor of banning these types of weapons, as well as favoring universal background checks. Most people agree that bump stocks and rapid trigger devices aren’t so hunky dory. AND most people support getting weapons out of the hands of people who should not have them, even Kathy Afzali. Just who is Kirby trying to appeal to here?

Where the sidewalk ends (in Emmitsburg)

If you saw our post about this week’s budget amendment circus, you know already that Kirby put forth an amendment to slash a grant funding sidewalk improvements in Emmitsburg by 40%; he claimed they wouldn’t need it all, because he was going to take care of the portion in front of his business. M.C. Keegan-Ayer said she was uncomfortable supporting the amendment without hearing from the mayor. Has she got his number, or what?! Because lo and behold, The Frederick News Post reports today that the mayor was a bit surprised that this amendment passed (the only of this year’s catalog of fantasy budget cut amendments that passed), because he didn’t think this proposal was doable. Read it for yourself here.

(Fun fact: if you Google “Frederick News Post Kirby Delauter” the first hit that comes up is the greatest op-ed piece of all time from when Kirby threatened to sue Bethany Rodgers for using his name in the paper. Lolololololol. It’s still funny. We do wonder what we will all point and laugh at when Billy and Kirby are finally kicked to the curb. Probably some other gem who acts like he escaped from The Silver Linings Playbook will run for mayor or something. We don’t even know what to hope for. Be careful what you wish for…as the song goes.)

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Now we don’t really know what Jerry Donald intended to do when he said he would defer to Kirby since he represents the Council District Emmitsburg is in. It seemed like a “please proceed [at your own risk]” maneuver from the Local Yokel sofa perspective. Maybe we imagine these things are performance art when they are not.

There is an update to this tale where Kirby explains to the Frederick News Post later this afternoon that he never got the email that Mayor Briggs didn’t want to proceed with the Kirby/Emmitsburg Sidewalk Enhancement Cooperative where Kirby paves the way in front of his business. Make of this what you will, just as we have (DIY CYA?). Hopefully Emmitsburg gets its sidewalks and a better Councilperson in 2018.