Vote for your new Frederick County Flag: Yokel style!

In case you haven’t heard, there is a contest to redesign Frederick County’s flag. If you are a serious artist, please click here for more details. We are going to have our own Yokel brand of fun with this! Vote for your favorite flag at the bottom of this post!

Choice A: The Black Book. Remember way back yonder when we had the Black Book scandal here in Fredericktowne? Here’s a design to commemorate that period in Frederick’s history.

Choice B: Y’all remember back when Billy Shreve told us that any waterway in Frederick County was safe to drink from? He never took up our challenge to drink from them all, but here’s a design to show the world how safe and pollution free all of our waterways are around here!

Choice C: This comes from a post that Blaine Young was tagged in.(Actual post was deleted, so we found a similar pic for this flag) Yes, the same Blaine Young rumored to be in the Black Book, and the same one in fact arrested for soliciting a prostitute from a website. Such class some of our former politicians have displayed!

Choice D: There was a lot of bellyaching from Billy and Kirby when they had to park in a garage directly across the street from Winchester Hall, and then Billy had the indignity of losing his keys. Let’s take a moment to consider a flag to honor this dark period in Frederick County history.

Choice E: Who could forget our own Frederick County pioneers who braved the overflowing Monocacy River after Hurricane Sandy, armed with a thermos of Whiskey Sours, in order to go shopping at Wal Mart? Let’s salute their bravery and superior common sensical skills with this flag:

Choice F: Oh the time we made national news because of our very own Kirby Delauter. This story was spurred by Kirby telling a reporter that if she ever used his name again, he would sue her! Whew!

Choice G: Kirby made the best flowchart in the history of the world, so why shouldn’t we display that on our flag? I guess he was right about Jessica getting all the money since she was able to run a successful campaign to be County Executive!

Choice H: Of course we are going to self promote and ask for your vote for our logo as the new symbol for our county flag!

Now, it’s time to vote for your favorite!

We can’t wait to see the winning design, though we know some will be very upset over the change! But folks just look at our flag:

We deserve better than that!

Your Yokel Top 10 2022 Countdown!

What a year it has been!

Let’s be realistic folks!

Per tradition we bring to you our top 10 most popular posts of the year! Let’s jump right in!

#10- Breaking down Cindy Rose’s “pornography” claims!

We are going to have to deal with this issue for quite some time since FCPS had to form a committee over her nonsense. Let’s hope that she and her ilk can learn the meaning of the word pornography. We won’t hold our breaths.

She sure doesn’t!

#9-Let’s make sure we get some good candidates on the BOE!

3 out of 4 isn’t bad! However, we are going to have to teach some folks in our community that we don’t just vote for the first name on the ballot just because we chose to remain uninformed about the election!

#8-Sound the alarm: be sure *independent & unaffiliated* voters know to vote in the primary July 19, 2022 (early voting the 7th – 14th)

Our post reminding independent and unaffiliated voters made the number 8 spot on our list. We always need to remind our unaffiliated friends that they can vote in the BOE primary election, and it’s important that they do so!

#7- Alright people, Hough says this is very serious business!

Except it absolutely was not! Thank goodness we don’t have to deal with him in our fine county.

Move along!

#6-There’s quite a few of you who should be ashamed of yourselves!

This post concerned the absolutely appalling behavior that some of our community members (You know Cindy was involved) showed at a Family Life Advisory meeting. We always need to be careful of people who can’t comprehend what they read, or worse yet, don’t read and then make things up to purposefully enflame people.

#5-Chmelik wants to be on our council again? BAHAHA..NO!

Tony Chmelik, one of your LadyYokel’s least favorite council members, tried to run for at at-large seat and failed. Hopefully this blast from the past reminded a few folks why we didn’t want him the last time around and prevented him from getting back on this time!

#4-Cindy Rose’s Facebook posts…a response in memes!

Our readers really seemed to enjoy our meme responses to some very questionable posts Cindy made this year. Some people should stay off social media.

For us the answer is always yes!

#3-Your Yokel pals watched the public comment (again-it’s what we do) so you don’t have to!

This was truly one of the worst public meetings we have ever had the displeasure of watching. And this is coming from a group of ladies that watched every single county council meeting for the long 4 years that Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter, and Tony Chmelik were on that board. Cindy really can bring out the worst in people.

#2-Click, Clack, No!

One of our older posts got resurrected this year because people just could not believe that Cindy would complain about Click, Clack, Moo! Sometimes we can’t believe what we see either.

It was ridiculous.

Now for our most popular post of the year:

#1-Who NOT to put on the school board. Your Yokel voter primer!

Thank goodness we kept Cindy and two of her minions off the board, plus the entire 2nd rate hate slate! We are sure we will see some of them back again, but at least we have the next two years to take a nice deep breath!

We wish all of our Local Yokel fans a wonderful holiday season and a peaceful 2023!

Is the band back together? Where is Yoko when you need her?

From the looks of this letter, we may have to define equivalence!

Blaine, Billy, and Kirby collaborated on an LTE this weekend to show us they don’t have three brain cells to rub together! What’s the reason for this bumbling reunion dispatch?! It seems the three amigos are very upset that there hasn’t been the protest “on the street corner” and debate around the water cooler about the current tax rebate that there was when they gave a $100 tax rebate back in 2012. Here’s our favorite part that really shows how these folks feel about the electorate they used to serve:

Parents voicing the need for new schools and updated schools. Nonprofits screaming about needed funding. People claiming and chanting we don’t want the measly $100 — use it for the areas in government that have a need: education, the sheriff’s office, fire and rescue, the nursing home and many social services. Then future candidate for county executive, Jan Gardner stated at debates how foolish the decision was.

Maybe, just maybe, someone should have advocated for more educational funding when they were in school! Let’s think back to these fabled days of yore they are referring to. With the exception of David Gray, the only thing this board attempted to do was privatize and dismantle as many government services as possible. They sold off the county’s nursing homes. (A move reversed by Jan Gardner) Refused to fund schools above the MOE (Maintenance of Effort) level. They told FCPS to look into building cheaper metal buildings because the schools were too fancy these days. They took away the county’s funding of the Head Start program because why can’t all the women just stay home like their wives did? They expected all county offices to do more with less! This was also done because Blaine was running for the county executive position AND both Kirby and Billy wanted a seat on the county council. So fellas, the only difference IS NOT party affiliation.

Before you Republicans get too excited, remember both Blaine and Kirby have left the Republican party. Kirby even shared this on Facebook:

And remember folks, when letters like this start appearing, it means someone is looking for a come-back. Stay vigilant!

Look at the Brain on…oops, sorry…no brain…just look at Dan.

Dan Bongino apparently has a problem with Mediaite. Imagine being a 45 year old adult whose bio reads “He is a member of the Republican Party and ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2012, 2014, and 2016…” and that’s pretty much it. You turn up at CPAC wearing a David Rose outfit (know your audience, man), perpetually looking like you’ve smeared your face in margarine, and calling *someone else* a douchebag. He is disgusting. His language is disgusting. His ideas are disgusting. His greasy face is disgusting. (Everyone at CPAC is disgusting, so at least he is in his element. “Boo Mitt Romney,” etc.)

It gets worse!

Imagine that this nasty, vulgar specimen had a fan club…it’s really just this one idiot. Our very own village idiot. We bet you know who it is…

Billy is lucky Mediaite hasn’t got to know him like they did BingoBongo. Frederick County really has something special in the water. Maybe it’s lead.

It’s Awards Season–and we have some in mind for the 2/5 County Council Meeting

Your locals bounced into the show late mid-Monocacy River Plan Presentation and it does sound like the early part of the meeting was worth listening to because there were some comments made with bipartisan concerns about things that were eliminated from the plan and we don’t have the low down on that. Our chief take away really is that it is a plan. It isn’t legislation, although it may be the basis for crafting legislation that uses the plan as a resource. If that’s the case, then you get to go through the whole process that is normal when you have an elected public official you have to talk to. Part of the plan is specifically that eminent domain should not be used, so the entire land grabbing narrative is silly. Like so many things. And we will have to return to how representative democracy works later when we had to consume the entire bottle of Barefoot Bubbly.

They ticked through the public hearing portion of the bills the council is considering rather quickly, after a brief interlude of disco video game psychedelic electronica music. Who picks that stuff?

Then there was a discussion about bills for the council to offer support to or withhold sending support to for the state delegation, and holy moly. It would be appropriate to hit the sauce just so that we can address this in writing. We are going to award the nickname Philly to Phil Dacey, due to an uncanny likeness this evening to Billy Shreve’s confusion over Roberts’ Rules everything. Tonight he was incensed that they must quickly offer opinions on items they don’t know enough about. This would seem like a BFD, if it were true that the public never gets to weigh in. But here is the thing: the public elected Delegates and Senators and Joseph(ina) Q. Public is perfectly free to contact the people who will actually be voting on these bills to let them know what their priorities are. The council opinion is not meant to convey the constituents’ opinions, so much as it is meant to offer insight from the standpoint of officials who have a closer relationship with all the invested players in the business community and pertinent county agencies. And hey, we can understand if you aren’t familiar with this process that it seems a little crazy, but at least they asked for your opinion. You can give it, or not. And there’s a little foreshadowing for you folks…

First they were to offer support or decline to support a bill to establish a registry of private laboratories that have biohazardous materials so that in the event of an emergency the first responders know about the biohazards. This is of particular concern to Frederick County for reasons that are hopefully obvious to most everyone. Steve McKay referred to this bill as a “no-brainer” because (per his explanation) basically we are talking about nasty stuff that is one step away from being weaponized. Philly indignantly snapped, “Are you implying the state delegation has no brain?” There was more agony with the hand wringing over not knowing anything about this and having to decide in a hurry (glug, glug, glug) and Kai piled on, seconding the “no-brainer” quality of this needed legislation. I mean, whoever heard of it being a big deal if anthrax happens to get out into the environment, right? Oh and also this has come up thrice already with unanimous support from the Council in every previous year, but it has passed the House of Delegates and failed in the Senate repeatedly. Jerry Donald contributed that Ron Young is optimistic that it can be passed at long last because the thorn in the Senate is not longer in office. Fingers crossed. 6 ayes, 1 abstention on this one. You can’t make this stuff up.

Phil Dacey gets the “Abstinence-Only Doesn’t Work” Award. In this case it literally means you aren’t working. Sigh.

That he was getting nowhere with tabling the opportunity to give an opinion to the delegation started to really grate at Dacey, and in turn agitate your Yokel on duty. The next one was somewhat confusing, because of a sort of double negative setup. Here’s the query: Should the Council oppose including Frederick County in State Legislation exempting Agritourism businesses from being required to meet certain life safety building and zoning standards.

Some of the more interesting work of the previous Council was working to have farm wineries and breweries and allow special events in these spaces. Because many of them are charming old barns they are susceptible to certain safety hazards (like flammability), and so this having been a thing that was extensively cultivated involving the various interested parties like brewers and vintners and farmers and county agencies, the thinking was, “Nah, we’d not like to have gone through all that and have these things exempted from safety measures.” Fire safety regulation has had its opponents previously, if you followed the rogue wedding venues dramas of the past year or so. (If not: Here, here, here.) Philly moved to table the opportunity for opinion giving. Back and forth and forth and back and then got snippy that he had a motion and M.C. had to explain that nobody seconded the motion, and then no one did, so the motion failed.

And.

He.

Kept.

Going.

There was so much whining and undignified begging. It was truly disrespectful of the process that he was so desperately trying to knight-in-shining-armor save from itself. Steve McKay and Jessica Fitzwater both said they were comfortable with taking a position, because it was a position not to do something rather than a position favoring a new measure. We have to disagree here. That is entirely beside the point, which is up above, but we will revisit. We are all free to contact our representatives in Annapolis. That is how government works. We don’t need it to pass from us through Kai Hagen and Michael Blue or whomever. Annnnnd…On that note, we are so terribly remiss in bestowing an award of gratitude upon Michael the Miracle of District 5–this is such an improvement from He Who Shan’t Be Named. With that, we will end on a positive note. Deep breaths.

Hydrate, people!

We hope you have a big jug of water by your side all day today. Drink often. You’ll need to be fully hydrated ahead of tonight’s meeting. Grab your agenda and get ready for what could be a long one.

First up are two budget items. If Billy continues to gripe about not having enough staff before abstaining on his vote, swig back a bitchy bellini.

Next up are approval of minutes and an appointment confirmation. This will be followed by public hearing on the proposed sale of a county owned building. Serve yourself a Harvey Wallbanger just because.

Three Third Readings are on the agenda next. They all involve human trafficking. When short timer and “both sides” council member Shreve says anything dumb mix yourself a man of war.

It’s break time! Hydrate with more water. Your liver needs it.

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NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING Re: Amended Bill No. 18-25 – Impartiality of Planning Commission and Board of Appeals MembersAn Amendment to: clarify the matters and proceedings to which the Bill applies. This is about as confusing as the infamous flow chart. Bob is always mired in these insane ramblings.

First up after the break are several public hearings. Things could get testy. Steel your nerves with a bourbon pumpkin smash. Tony is up first with his perhaps personal vendetta led impartiality bill. Next up are some high adjustments to the fy2019 budget. This would move up the Oakdale Middle School addition,  move up the design approval for a new east county elementary school, and move up the modernization/addition project at Brunswick High School. Drink an appletini to celebrate if all 3 are approved.

Last up for discussion is a budget item which involves lots of wins for fire/safety in Frederick County. Celebrate with a fire engine.

The meeting will end with council member comments. We are sure we won’t even care what Shrevelauter have to say. Best to return to drinking water. Don’t you have to adult tomorrow???

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Go to work!

 

 

Lost in the woods: decisions, decisions, decisons edition

Your council thingy for today. Billy Shreve has a proposal. (Isn’t that the beginning of a spooky campfire tale?) Well, here, we were going to transcribe it, but have a screen grab for efficiency:

We are not “a lawyer”, but how does the County legislate the State? If the thing we think is a thing is a thing, chug a 40.

READER UPDATE: Anne Hicks (thank you, Anne!) points out that Billy wants these residences to be edible! Dipped in sewer sauce. YUM.

Next decision is whether or not the preferred bureaucracy gets to oversee a photovoltaic (that’s solar, yo) array at the Ballenger-McKinney wastewater treatment plant. This is for reasons of red tape and red tape minimization specifically. Billy will whine impertinently, because whining about solar is one of his hobbies, ranked just after rollerblading and growing out that mullet-tail. If we are also right about who whines here…do nothing. Because a serious horror show is coming, and you will want to be in top form for…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 6 proposed amendments to the Act to Adjust School Construction Fees.

Goodnight, and good luck. We will all be at soccer. Let us know who/what gets tossed in the wood chipper or whatever.

 

 

Pumpkin spice everything! It’s your October 2nd drinking game!

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Hope you survived Oktoberfest!

 

Grab your agenda, it’s time to continue our countdown to bye bye Shrelauter time. This week’s meeting starts with an EMS budget adjustment. We expect Billy will go ahead and abstain so slam back your favorite pumpkin flavored beer as a nod to Oktoberfest time.

Next up are a few executive appointments, and discussion of new business. Hydrate with some plain ole iced tea. The next section could get bumpy, and you need your wits about you to follow along.

It’s the third reading time for Adequate Public Facilities, adjustment of school construction fees. We know that this is a very important issue.  Let’s hope common sense prevails here. Swing back a teacher’s aid. You’ll need it either way.

Break, and we resume with four public hearings. Two of these are by our short timer council members Shreve and Chmelik so we anticipate some whining and grand standing.

End with an extra stormy dark and stormy to match your mood after having to sit through council member comments.

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No, no, no. Not that kind of Stormy!

 

No more “Happy Endings” for you, sicko! Your September 11th workshop notice!

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And normal! A massage is a massage and that’s it, people!

You may want to keep the youngins out of earshot of today’s workshop, as there is a very sensitive discussion to be had. Just click on over to the proposed bill and pay attention to the last section!  We imagine the debate (remember Billy wants us all to know there are people on both sides of this issue!) could cause some of our more pious council members to get a little squirmy.  We also can’t wait to hear the arguments over how this bill will oppress our local businesses! Wonder if our favorite local “Silver Linings Playbook” star will be at the future public hearing to give his viewpoint! This may be one of the more exciting council meetings we’ve had in awhile!

 

Yokel thoughts on the election.

First of all, WOW…just WOW! The three that we write most about (Kirby, Billy, and Tony) couldn’t muster up enough votes among their own party to make it to the general election. I guess it wasn’t just us! Billy really got his backside handed to him:

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Holy moly macaroni!

And the other two, who at least didn’t get trounced quite as badly:

But, still lost. We’ve been asked what we are going to do without these three to write about. And our answer to that is:

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For we care more about this county being governed by capable people than having material for the blog. Plus, there will always be SOMEONE.

We’ve been looking around the interwebs and have seen that many, many Republicans are super upset about Afzali snagging the nomination. We even saw this proclamation from Cindy:

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Most of those upset (including Cindy; so much for mean what you say and say what you mean…oh wait, she’s just mean) are now advocating for Earl Robbins’ Independent campaign, so you can imagine how that’s all going to work out. Please proceed. Cindy and Blaine are amongst those who have already come out to support him. He must be pleased to receive the Silver Linings Playbook Slate endorsement. The infighting/betrayals of this county party are really a sight to behold, folks!

And yes, Cindy made it through to 6th place out of 8th in the BOE race.  Even she knows that it almost insurmountable. And if you know anyone who is confused about how to vote in the general election, you can find ample evidence online to share with them. Be forewarned: she considers it “bullying” when you cite her own words, er…uh, her own madness against her. Take heart that she received about 1/2 the votes she did last time, so we aren’t too worried. NONE of her slate made it, so thankfully we don’t have to draw your attention to any of them any longer.

More good news:

 

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Galen Clagett came in last, showing that he wasn’t able to fool enough people into thinking he was some kind of Progressive Democrat!

Let’s all enjoy walking on cloud 9 today. We will regroup to prep for November very soon. Whoo hoo!