Dan Bongino apparently has a problem with Mediaite. Imagine being a 45 year old adult whose bio reads “He is a member of the Republican Party and ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2012, 2014, and 2016…” and that’s pretty much it. You turn up at CPAC wearing a David Rose outfit (know your audience, man), perpetually looking like you’ve smeared your face in margarine, and calling *someone else* a douchebag. He is disgusting. His language is disgusting. His ideas are disgusting. His greasy face is disgusting. (Everyone at CPAC is disgusting, so at least he is in his element. “Boo Mitt Romney,” etc.)
Imagine that this nasty, vulgar specimen had a fan club…it’s really just this one idiot. Our very own village idiot. We bet you know who it is…
Billy is lucky Mediaite hasn’t got to know him like they did BingoBongo. Frederick County really has something special in the water. Maybe it’s lead.
Your locals bounced into the show late mid-Monocacy River Plan Presentation and it does sound like the early part of the meeting was worth listening to because there were some comments made with bipartisan concerns about things that were eliminated from the plan and we don’t have the low down on that. Our chief take away really is that it is a plan. It isn’tlegislation, although it may be the basis for crafting legislation that uses the plan as a resource. If that’s the case, then you get to go through the whole process that is normal when you have an elected public official you have to talk to. Part of the plan is specifically that eminent domain should not be used, so the entire land grabbing narrative is silly. Like so many things. And we will have to return to how representative democracy works later when we had to consume the entire bottle of Barefoot Bubbly.
They ticked through the public hearing portion of the bills the council is considering rather quickly, after a brief interlude of disco video game psychedelic electronica music. Who picks that stuff?
Then there was a discussion about bills for the council to offer support to or withhold sending support to for the state delegation, and holy moly. It would be appropriate to hit the sauce just so that we can address this in writing. We are going to award the nickname Philly to Phil Dacey, due to an uncanny likeness this evening to Billy Shreve’s confusion over Roberts’ Rules everything. Tonight he was incensed that they must quickly offer opinions on items they don’t know enough about. This would seem like a BFD, if it were true that the public never gets to weigh in. But here is the thing: the public elected Delegates and Senators and Joseph(ina) Q. Public is perfectly free to contact the people who will actually be voting on these bills to let them know what their priorities are. The council opinion is not meant to convey the constituents’ opinions, so much as it is meant to offer insight from the standpoint of officials who have a closer relationship with all the invested players in the business community and pertinent county agencies. And hey, we can understand if you aren’t familiar with this process that it seems a little crazy, but at least they asked for your opinion. You can give it, or not. And there’s a little foreshadowing for you folks…
First they were to offer support or decline to support a bill to establish a registry of private laboratories that have biohazardous materials so that in the event of an emergency the first responders know about the biohazards. This is of particular concern to Frederick County for reasons that are hopefully obvious to most everyone. Steve McKay referred to this bill as a “no-brainer” because (per his explanation) basically we are talking about nasty stuff that is one step away from being weaponized. Philly indignantly snapped, “Are you implying the state delegation has no brain?” There was more agony with the hand wringing over not knowing anything about this and having to decide in a hurry (glug, glug, glug) and Kai piled on, seconding the “no-brainer” quality of this needed legislation. I mean, whoever heard of it being a big deal if anthrax happens to get out into the environment, right? Oh and also this has come up thrice already with unanimous support from the Council in every previous year, but it has passed the House of Delegates and failed in the Senate repeatedly. Jerry Donald contributed that Ron Young is optimistic that it can be passed at long last because the thorn in the Senate is not longer in office. Fingers crossed. 6 ayes, 1 abstention on this one. You can’t make this stuff up.
That he was getting nowhere with tabling the opportunity to give an opinion to the delegation started to really grate at Dacey, and in turn agitate your Yokel on duty. The next one was somewhat confusing, because of a sort of double negative setup. Here’s the query: Should the Council oppose including Frederick County in State Legislation exempting Agritourism businesses from being required to meet certain life safety building and zoning standards.
Some of the more interesting work of the previous Council was working to have farm wineries and breweries and allow special events in these spaces. Because many of them are charming old barns they are susceptible to certain safety hazards (like flammability), and so this having been a thing that was extensively cultivated involving the various interested parties like brewers and vintners and farmers and county agencies, the thinking was, “Nah, we’d not like to have gone through all that and have these things exempted from safety measures.” Fire safety regulation has had its opponents previously, if you followed the rogue wedding venues dramas of the past year or so. (If not: Here, here, here.) Philly moved to table the opportunity for opinion giving. Back and forth and forth and back and then got snippy that he had a motion and M.C. had to explain that nobody seconded the motion, and then no one did, so the motion failed.
There was so much whining and undignified begging. It was truly disrespectful of the process that he was so desperately trying to knight-in-shining-armor save from itself. Steve McKay and Jessica Fitzwater both said they were comfortable with taking a position, because it was a position not to do something rather than a position favoring a new measure. We have to disagree here. That is entirely beside the point, which is up above, but we will revisit. We are all free to contact our representatives in Annapolis. That is how government works. We don’t need it to pass from us through Kai Hagen and Michael Blue or whomever. Annnnnd…On that note, we are so terribly remiss in bestowing an award of gratitude upon Michael the Miracle of District 5–this is such an improvement from He Who Shan’t Be Named. With that, we will end on a positive note. Deep breaths.
We hope you have a big jug of water by your side all day today. Drink often. You’ll need to be fully hydrated ahead of tonight’s meeting. Grab your agenda and get ready for what could be a long one.
First up are two budget items. If Billy continues to gripe about not having enough staff before abstaining on his vote, swig back a bitchy bellini.
Next up are approval of minutes and an appointment confirmation. This will be followed by public hearing on the proposed sale of a county owned building. Serve yourself a Harvey Wallbanger just because.
Three Third Readings are on the agenda next. They all involve human trafficking. When short timer and “both sides” council member Shreve says anything dumb mix yourself a man of war.
It’s break time! Hydrate with more water. Your liver needs it.
First up after the break are several public hearings. Things could get testy. Steel your nerves with a bourbon pumpkin smash. Tony is up first with his perhaps personal vendetta led impartiality bill. Next up are some high adjustments to the fy2019 budget. This would move up the Oakdale Middle School addition, move up the design approval for a new east county elementary school, and move up the modernization/addition project at Brunswick High School. Drink an appletini to celebrate if all 3 are approved.
Last up for discussion is a budget item which involves lots of wins for fire/safety in Frederick County. Celebrate with a fire engine.
The meeting will end with council member comments. We are sure we won’t even care what Shrevelauter have to say. Best to return to drinking water. Don’t you have to adult tomorrow???
Your council thingy for today. Billy Shreve has a proposal. (Isn’t that the beginning of a spooky campfire tale?) Well, here, we were going to transcribe it, but have a screen grab for efficiency:
We are not “a lawyer”, but how does the County legislate the State? If the thing we think is a thing is a thing, chug a 40.
READER UPDATE: Anne Hicks (thank you, Anne!) points out that Billy wants these residences to be edible! Dipped in sewer sauce. YUM.
Next decision is whether or not the preferred bureaucracy gets to oversee a photovoltaic (that’s solar, yo) array at the Ballenger-McKinney wastewater treatment plant. This is for reasons of red tape and red tape minimization specifically. Billy will whine impertinently, because whining about solar is one of his hobbies, ranked just after rollerblading and growing out that mullet-tail. If we are also right about who whines here…do nothing. Because a serious horror show is coming, and you will want to be in top form for…
Grab your agenda, it’s time to continue our countdown to bye bye Shrelauter time. This week’s meeting starts with an EMS budget adjustment. We expect Billy will go ahead and abstain so slam back your favorite pumpkin flavored beer as a nod to Oktoberfest time.
Next up are a few executive appointments, and discussion of new business. Hydrate with some plain ole iced tea. The next section could get bumpy, and you need your wits about you to follow along.
It’s the third reading time for Adequate Public Facilities, adjustment of school construction fees. We know that this is a very important issue. Let’s hope common sense prevails here. Swing back a teacher’s aid. You’ll need it either way.
Break, and we resume with four public hearings. Two of these are by our short timer council members Shreve and Chmelik so we anticipate some whining and grand standing.
First of all, WOW…just WOW! The three that we write most about (Kirby, Billy, and Tony) couldn’t muster up enough votes among their own party to make it to the general election. I guess it wasn’t just us! Billy really got his backside handed to him:
And the other two, who at least didn’t get trounced quite as badly:
But, still lost. We’ve been asked what we are going to do without these three to write about. And our answer to that is:
For we care more about this county being governed by capable people than having material for the blog. Plus, there will always be SOMEONE.
We’ve been looking around the interwebs and have seen that many, many Republicans are super upset about Afzali snagging the nomination. We even saw this proclamation from Cindy:
Most of those upset (including Cindy; so much for mean what you say and say what you mean…oh wait, she’s just mean) are now advocating for Earl Robbins’ Independent campaign, so you can imagine how that’s all going to work out. Please proceed. Cindy and Blaine are amongst those who have already come out to support him. He must be pleased to receive the Silver Linings Playbook Slate endorsement. The infighting/betrayals of this county party are really a sight to behold, folks!
And yes, Cindy made it through to 6th place out of 8th in the BOE race. Even she knows that it almost insurmountable. And if you know anyone who is confused about how to vote in the general election, you can find ample evidence online to share with them. Be forewarned: she considers it “bullying” when you cite her own words, er…uh, her own madness against her. Take heart that she received about 1/2 the votes she did last time, so we aren’t too worried. NONE of her slate made it, so thankfully we don’t have to draw your attention to any of them any longer.
More good news:
Galen Clagett came in last, showing that he wasn’t able to fool enough people into thinking he was some kind of Progressive Democrat!
Let’s all enjoy walking on cloud 9 today. We will regroup to prep for November very soon. Whoo hoo!
We saw a Facebook post today from the Southern Frederick County Rotary that made us wonder if these folks even know anything about Billy Shreve. Seriously. They may want to come up with a new four way test.
We noticed previously that Billy has taken credit for solving the opiod crisis and claiming he created the best education program in the state.
Other priorities in the General Assembly would be continued support for programs to stem heroin and opioid abuse. He pointed to the Classmates4Life video contest that he started, which called on Frederick County Public Schools students to explore the negative effects of drug abuse. The video contest received state and national recognition.
“I’ve created the best education program in the history of the state, so I want to continue to work on that,” Shreve said. “… I want to go to Annapolis and do everything I can to stop our kids from dying because of overdoses.
There surely is no harm in a video contest, but it has done nothing to reduce opiod overdoses in Frederick County. But don’t take our word for it. Check out the data. Overdoses are up and climbing in our county.
It is always nice to cherry pick a few small actions and give someone a pat on the back. We are here to remind you Billy has many, many, many low lights. Read all this if you need a refresher.
Surely many of our readers will have already read this interview with Billy Shreve where he touts his fabulous record of accomplishments. Honestly, we are still laughing that Billy has attending the Winter Olympics and Tour de France listed as accomplishments. Those are cool things, sure, but most of us don’t list our vacations as part of our CV.
We just want to remind you of some of his highlights we have taken note of over the last several years. This is not a complete list of everything we have written about him.
The bottomless well of drama with regards to the Monocacy River Board brings up some particular issues we have with the inconsistently applied logic surrounding this. (e.g. Border Wall: GREAT!!! Monocacy River Health: LAND GRAB!!!)
We recently hosted a bit of a brouhaha on our wall when we got persnickety about Sheriff Non-Expert spending more time mugging for the Fox News cameras about border issues he is ill acquainted with, in spite of his famous field trip, than dealing with the likes of human trafficking and opioids (the third pillar of #BeBEST, y’all! get with the program, already). It’s a bug up our toots that the same Wall Enthusiast Clan has labeled efforts to preserve the river as a land grab when it is not, yet taking ranchers in Texas’ access to the waterway their cattle use actually would be a land grab that would destroy their livelihoods. heavy sighhhhhhhhh
Here is a sample: OH NOES…the example we were set to provide was from a Local Wall Enthusiast who apparently deleted his dumb argument when confronted with how ill informed he is about stuff that happens way far away. Yippee? This is a great opportunity to note that the same fool was back and forth and up and down with some ladies disputing him in the comments, but as soon as a man told him he didn’t know what he was talking about, he tucked tail and ran, deleting the evidence of his misguided assumptions. Protip: mansplanations are not better than information.
And on the subject of information, we know Billy Shreve has a history of being loosely acquainted with science. Holy moly, that old historical reference is a doozy. We were having a Local Yokel STEM night and discussing a science article about how the reintroduction of wolves into Yellowstone National Park has changed the river health there because now the deer stay out of the deathtraps that river valleys create for them and their population is better controlled by natural predation, so the vegetation on the river has helped to create a barrier against erosion. Apparently Yellowstone is trying to be Yellowstone and let the Grand Canyon keep doing its thing. Billy will be sad. The fact that we had all individually read or seen something about this brought us to our next point. Being ignorant is a choice, whether you are talking about eminent domain or erosion.
Anywhooooo. M.C. Keegan-Ayergoes above and beyond in the name of transparency and service to the citizens who have vested interests and legitimate concerns, and who’s against that? All of the Republicans on the Council. Isn’t that a great irony? Well, actually…not so much anymore, sadly. More like par for the course. Philosophy has nothing to do with their decision making. Tribalism is the whole picture. No wonder Bud Otis disassociated from the party and has gone rogue independent maverick-like.
If you will click through the link above about M.C. Keegan-Ayer’s resolution in the Frederick News Post, we would like to make a special mention shoutout to the astute engaged citizenry commenting on the article there. We thought “petulantly lazy” as a description of Billy Shreve perfectly addressed his conduct both yesterday and since forever. We would also like to boost one comment in particular–that of Matt Seubert, who is the current president of RALE.
Let’s stop voting for people who don’t care about anything but causing problems and creating scenes. It will make our hobby very boring, which would be better for everyone in Frederick County. In fact, if we could do that, the whole country would be better off.