Unless you’ve been unconscious in a ditch this evening, you’ve heard that Special Counsel Robert Mueller has handed forth an indictment charging thirteen Russians and three Russian companies with meddling in our election! If you haven’t had a chance to peruse the 37-page document it really is a must see. We couldn’t help but wonder if our most prolific local Trumpster, Billy Shreve, you know the guy who wants to “Trump Annapolis” as a state senator, “unwittlingly” put forth any of this propaganda as listed in these two parts of the indictment:
You bet your #MAGA hat he did!
First let’s start with this:
Is “Unwitting” Billy’s middle name?
Because look at this parade of nonsense:
We think we should get some kind of journalistic award for digging all this out! But, we will settle for you voting this creep out of office!
The yokels all missed the very beginning, only to tune in as Melanie Cox of the League of Women Voters was saying, “…give us a chance to speak.” The immediate assumption is that this is about the botched process for changing Frederick County’s representation to the Maryland Association of Counties (MACO). If we’re wrong about that, let us know and we will edit. We keep threatening to write a meeting up without watching it and see if we can guess what happens, because we know our characters purty stinkin well at this point. For example, Melanie Cox is a classy lady for whom dignity and propriety is important, so under the circumstances, it makes sense to leap to the conclusion that she would have liked to see a transparent process for the thing that…spoiler alert…comes to fruition later on.
Regular examples of totally predictable events: Budget adjustments. Everyone votes for those, except Billy the Abstinent. Then everyone votes to approve the minutes, except Billy the Obstinate. And you also already know that he couldn’t bother to speak into his microphone.
We have a presentation on a Mutual Aid Agreement with the Washington County Sheriff’s Department and the Hagerstown P.D. A member of the Sheriff’s department comes in our Sheriff’s stead, because… hold on to your little ACLU fold-up Constitutions…because Jenkins is out of pocket. Why? Because he is meeting with The President about immigration. Another of the Yokels had a boss who used meeting with the president as her euphemism for going to do her powder room business, which makes us snicker.
Mr. Yokel observes from the other couch, “The President of What???” We will not go into our skepticism of Jenkins’ qualifications on this subject, from the vantage point of living on the Mason-Dixon border. Riding Arpaio’s coattails onto Fox is all the qualifications the Dunning-Kruger Administration requires. Mr. Yokel still believes this tale is sound and fury signifying nothing, and since Newt Gingrich declared that facts are no longer a thing (and heck if he isn’t painfully right), we will all believe in whatever manner our emotional states’ require. The decision is in favor of a cooperative approach to providing for the common defence.
We move on to stripping M.C. Keegan-Ayer of her appointment to MACO so that Tony Chmelik can have it. M.C. is classy and abstains from voting on a matter that pertains to herself. Guess who doesn’t?! Both of them speak in favor of improving the process by which this is done. Great idea…
There’s a presentation about closing the intersection of Old Frederick Rd. at 15, for the sake of safety and traffic efficiency. Much more of this is needed in that general area–both in the safety and efficiency department.
We come to the First Calendar Readings, which is mainly the Throw Covfefe at the Wall and See What Sticks section, as far as Billy Shreve is concerned. Steve McKay said it best:
Council Member Billy Shreve is introducing a bunch of bills. I guess you can tell that it’s an election year. Billy Shreve – known to abstain on most votes – is all of the sudden introducing a handful of bills. Sorry folks, but after three years of his disagreeable nature, this doesn’t impress me a bit.
No one wants to speak, making us wonder if there are any redeeming qualities these bills may have if their authors cannot be bothered to enlighten us. Chemlik feels a bit of shame and takes up his own cause on the wood chipping bill. Isn’t local politics sexxxxxxy? Shreve is the definition of shameless.
It is sometimes difficult to tell by reading theagenda, but tonight’s meeting looks like it could be a real doozy. So take care of your liver. As always, this game is just for giggles. Actually participating in this to the fullest may result in death. You’ve been warned.
The meeting starts as always with public comments. We aren’t going to hold our breath on anyone actually showing up to speak. Just hold your beer, just in case.
A bunch of budget adjustments on first up on the agenda. Billy will complain about the library grant because everyone knows folks go to Borders instead, Kirby will kvetch about Citizens, blah, blah, blah. Mix yourself akitchen sink.
Next up on the agenda, approval of minutes for 4 meetings. When Billy abstains mix yourself up a flaming asshole.
Now, it’s time to discuss a mutual aid agreement between the Fred Co Sheriff, Wash Co Sheriff and Hagerstown City Police. Where are the Fred City Police? Make yourself a missing in action while you ponder that.
Well, well well, it’s time to take a vote on the Maryland Association of Counties Legislative Committee County Council Representation. What? Didn’t Bud already executive decision this? Things could get snippy. Make yourself a T-bone in anticipation of Bud’s phone ringing with its Bad to the Bone ringtone.
What workshop items are in store for us? We don’t know what these are as they aren’t listed on the agenda. This might be a good time to hydrate with some good old water.
Time to look at a petition to close a portion of Old Frederick Road to improve the safety of Route 15. Pick your favorite drink and stick it in a cone when anyone complains about being inconvenienced by this proposal.
Lots of First Readings on the docket! Including those that Billy decided he better get going on before anyone brought up the fact that he did nothing but ABSTAIN during his entire tenure as a council member. Anyhoo, sip on your Lazy Dazewhile you endure this portion of the evening.
It’s time to vote on the dueling Forest Ordinance bills. With Bud’s voting patterns recently altered, we predict his version will be the one to make it through; Sip on your Forest Funk while you think of all the lost trees.
Before the break, they will vote to pull the Adequate Public Facilities bill, and then Billy will vote against going into closed session. If it isn’t too close to 7:00, we may get treated to Billy complaining about having to waste all his precious time at Winchester Hall.
MDX hearing is the last bit of business this evening. There’s a lot of opposition to this bill because it would theoretically allow a warehouse to go next to a school or a housing development. Mainly, it’s introduction has to do with the fact that the Jefferson Technology Park did not fill up the way the previous BOCC claimed it would. While you listen to the arguments mix up a pitcher of Nuclear Disaster, and think of all the bad things the Young BOCC have brought upon this fine county.
Public and council member comments can get a little dicey, however, you’ve been through enough for one evening.
Bud starts off the meeting reassuring us that he supports any actions the council can take to stop human trafficking, so he still has that going for him! County Executive candidate Kirby Delauter is absent…again. We have to say we were so impressed with the presentation this evening. Kudos must go out to Jessica Fitzwater for brining this to everyone’s attention. So many knowledgable, articulate folks came in front of the council to give us information about this sickening problem. You can read the entire report here or just look at our highlights:
Frederick mayor Michael O’Connor told us some of the recommendations of the committee:
Mandatory training for lodging employees to help identify human trafficking victims.
Making sure all bodyworks establishments are properly licensed. (This is the only time Billy pipes up this evening-he wants to have a definition of bodyworks, we can only imagine what must have been going through that mind of his.)
Penalties for landlords and tenants who knowingly allow human traffickers to operate.
The creation of a survivor services fund created from the confiscated property of the human trafficker(s).
Creation of signs that alert the public to what human trafficking looks like, both sex and labor trafficking. In other words: “If you see something, say something”!
Chief Hargis likened this problem to domestic violence 30 years ago. 30 years ago (and this is really hard to stomach folks), domestic violence wasn’t on anyone’s radar. It wasn’t seen as a law enforcement problem. That’s how the issue of human trafficking has been treated..as someone else’s problem. But it isn’t, its a human problem that all humans should be concerned about. Contrary to what the High Sheriff or Billy or Kirby would lead us to believe, this isn’t just a problem for the federal government to solve. If a victim is found in Frederick County, and there have been numerous cases here, it’s a Frederick County problem. If you want more information about human trafficking visit the Polaris site. And after you read that, don’t ever, ever forget that Billy Shreve said that there are groups in favor of this. We don’t need a voice like that representing us in Annapolis.
Late in the day, the council agenda was changed to reflect this addition:
There was no clickable link, so we didn’t have any other information to go on. When it came time to vote we get this breakdown:
Yay-Jessica, M.C., Bud, Tony, Jerry
Partying it up in Punta Cana-Kirby
Now, we have no idea what in the world is going on with this! Anyone who can enlighten us please send us a line!
Plus, we will forever have Billy and Kirby’s fascinating friend who shall not be named (who we are worried/thrilled to consider, based upon rubbernecking over his not subtle enough Facebook musings, that he may be considering a don’t-call-it a-comeback return to public life with the launch of a sexxxpert advise [sic] podcast in honor of Human Trafficking Workshop Weeknext week). Gross. #partyoffamilyvalues
Added bonus. Also running for CE, we have Regina “The Bullshit Stops Here” Williams. We would tell you more, but her website reveals no official positions on anything. Gracious. Afzali has issues. Kirby has issues. We know you have issues, too. Yousued the county.
It’s rather sad to note that Afzali seems like the most serious contender here, having at least had the forethought to think about the issues, and she really is a hot mess. Remember the time she had a spat with the sheriff, and was texting him that he was a wimp and a phony?
Go ahead, madam. Align yourself with the wicked witch. It’s a perfect accompaniment to your Pay No Attention to that Man Behind the Curtain president. This clownshow is a plague.
You’re sure no Ephelba. We’ll be over here defying gravity, thankyouverymuch.
Remember when we said Billy would waste everyone’s time trying to look like he was doing something productive but really wasn’t? Well, mostly that’s what just happened, except when he was even worse than that.
Ironically, he started with the Council Education Bill, looking to bring everyone up to his level of expertise (pfffffft! wait for more on what exactly that level is) concerning zoning, or else have them penalized by losing their voting rights on the council for zoning matters. This is…unconstituational completely implausible. Billy, you diminutive and dimwitted Banana Republican. Shut up!
We then learn that M.C. Keegan-Ayer took a two hour course on this out of personal interest, bless her heart, of course she did, and that sounds awful. Also, we learn that Billy did an online 15 minute thing back in The Y2K. If you can begin to imagine feeling smug about 15 minutes worth of education you got off the internet 18 years in the past, that’s what just happened! Before Twitter, even! Billy has the bittiest button of all.
Moving along to the Veterans Tax Credit Bill, which is state legislation he is presenting to the county, whilst giving the absolute impression that he has never read it before in his life. Do you have questions? Maybe someone else can answer them. “Caroline?” Like we said, moving along…
The next part is the best, because he is trying to get rid of anonymous reporting of zoning violations and guess why! Because he can cite two examples of businesses, both of which were actually violating the law, and someone ratted them out, and that person…might not even live here…? One time a letter came from Baltimore. Little known and possibly fake news: all us supposed local yokels all actually live in Baltimore and just follow Frederick county politics because it is theater of the absurd, and oh so fun to incite discord down the road. Like Russians, but more neighborly.
Come on. If another wedding venue owner wants to complain that the side hustle at the tree farm over yonder is cheating by breaking all the rules, what kind of sense does it make to hinder the person reporting on the problem? There are many reasons to guarantee that a complaint may be filed without knowing who is filing it or where they live or the names of their children and their pets. For the most obvious available example, not everyone is mentally stable. Also sometimes an employee may have to report their employer, or some other health or safety reason may be relevant. Just. Gah. Enough. Obviously we shall be the patron saints of anonymity.
The Public Safety Facilities Exemption Bill means Billy wants the volunteer fire company not to need permits for events. Jerry wisely points out that the social halls shouldn’t be exempted, and as someone who annually attends a big event at the one in Walkersville, that sounds copacetic.
Voila, Billy’s participation trophy awaits. We do hope he will continue to remind us of his “greatest hits” as election season nears.
This evening the council will convene for the first time this year! One look at this evening’s agenda and our jaws pretty much dropped down to the floor:
So, someone must have told ol’ Billy that he wasn’t going to get elected to the Maryland Senate if his record is a bunch of abstentions and one failed, horribly written bill. If he thinks he’s going to last minute a bunch of work and pretend that’s his record, he’s got another thing coming! We can just imagine the look on the other council member’s faces when they saw all this nonsense.
Also, on the agenda are two, that’s right TWO, public hearings on the Forest Ordinance bills. We’ll let you know how it all turns out!