It’s Awards Season–and we have some in mind for the 2/5 County Council Meeting

Your locals bounced into the show late mid-Monocacy River Plan Presentation and it does sound like the early part of the meeting was worth listening to because there were some comments made with bipartisan concerns about things that were eliminated from the plan and we don’t have the low down on that. Our chief take away really is that it is a plan. It isn’t legislation, although it may be the basis for crafting legislation that uses the plan as a resource. If that’s the case, then you get to go through the whole process that is normal when you have an elected public official you have to talk to. Part of the plan is specifically that eminent domain should not be used, so the entire land grabbing narrative is silly. Like so many things. And we will have to return to how representative democracy works later when we had to consume the entire bottle of Barefoot Bubbly.

They ticked through the public hearing portion of the bills the council is considering rather quickly, after a brief interlude of disco video game psychedelic electronica music. Who picks that stuff?

Then there was a discussion about bills for the council to offer support to or withhold sending support to for the state delegation, and holy moly. It would be appropriate to hit the sauce just so that we can address this in writing. We are going to award the nickname Philly to Phil Dacey, due to an uncanny likeness this evening to Billy Shreve’s confusion over Roberts’ Rules everything. Tonight he was incensed that they must quickly offer opinions on items they don’t know enough about. This would seem like a BFD, if it were true that the public never gets to weigh in. But here is the thing: the public elected Delegates and Senators and Joseph(ina) Q. Public is perfectly free to contact the people who will actually be voting on these bills to let them know what their priorities are. The council opinion is not meant to convey the constituents’ opinions, so much as it is meant to offer insight from the standpoint of officials who have a closer relationship with all the invested players in the business community and pertinent county agencies. And hey, we can understand if you aren’t familiar with this process that it seems a little crazy, but at least they asked for your opinion. You can give it, or not. And there’s a little foreshadowing for you folks…

First they were to offer support or decline to support a bill to establish a registry of private laboratories that have biohazardous materials so that in the event of an emergency the first responders know about the biohazards. This is of particular concern to Frederick County for reasons that are hopefully obvious to most everyone. Steve McKay referred to this bill as a “no-brainer” because (per his explanation) basically we are talking about nasty stuff that is one step away from being weaponized. Philly indignantly snapped, “Are you implying the state delegation has no brain?” There was more agony with the hand wringing over not knowing anything about this and having to decide in a hurry (glug, glug, glug) and Kai piled on, seconding the “no-brainer” quality of this needed legislation. I mean, whoever heard of it being a big deal if anthrax happens to get out into the environment, right? Oh and also this has come up thrice already with unanimous support from the Council in every previous year, but it has passed the House of Delegates and failed in the Senate repeatedly. Jerry Donald contributed that Ron Young is optimistic that it can be passed at long last because the thorn in the Senate is not longer in office. Fingers crossed. 6 ayes, 1 abstention on this one. You can’t make this stuff up.

Phil Dacey gets the “Abstinence-Only Doesn’t Work” Award. In this case it literally means you aren’t working. Sigh.

That he was getting nowhere with tabling the opportunity to give an opinion to the delegation started to really grate at Dacey, and in turn agitate your Yokel on duty. The next one was somewhat confusing, because of a sort of double negative setup. Here’s the query: Should the Council oppose including Frederick County in State Legislation exempting Agritourism businesses from being required to meet certain life safety building and zoning standards.

Some of the more interesting work of the previous Council was working to have farm wineries and breweries and allow special events in these spaces. Because many of them are charming old barns they are susceptible to certain safety hazards (like flammability), and so this having been a thing that was extensively cultivated involving the various interested parties like brewers and vintners and farmers and county agencies, the thinking was, “Nah, we’d not like to have gone through all that and have these things exempted from safety measures.” Fire safety regulation has had its opponents previously, if you followed the rogue wedding venues dramas of the past year or so. (If not: Here, here, here.) Philly moved to table the opportunity for opinion giving. Back and forth and forth and back and then got snippy that he had a motion and M.C. had to explain that nobody seconded the motion, and then no one did, so the motion failed.

And.

He.

Kept.

Going.

There was so much whining and undignified begging. It was truly disrespectful of the process that he was so desperately trying to knight-in-shining-armor save from itself. Steve McKay and Jessica Fitzwater both said they were comfortable with taking a position, because it was a position not to do something rather than a position favoring a new measure. We have to disagree here. That is entirely beside the point, which is up above, but we will revisit. We are all free to contact our representatives in Annapolis. That is how government works. We don’t need it to pass from us through Kai Hagen and Michael Blue or whomever. Annnnnd…On that note, we are so terribly remiss in bestowing an award of gratitude upon Michael the Miracle of District 5–this is such an improvement from He Who Shan’t Be Named. With that, we will end on a positive note. Deep breaths.

Hypocrisy is alive and well in Ole Fredericktowne!

Hello folks! We’ve been taking a little break here since the only wrench in our council at the moment is Phil Dacey, and everyone else seems to be keeping a lid on that mess. Anyhoo, we have heard rumblings about him wanting to seek higher office, and with his Michael Hough/ALEC mimicry in full force we don’t doubt it. So, we promise to help keep an eye on that one for ya!

Speaking of politicians, or at least aspiring ones, we’ve had a few chuckles reading about the exploits of some of our former characters. Let’s start with #kirbydelauter. Apparently, Kirby has been filling his time by accepting a position on the board of the Frederick County Conservative Club (stop laughing, this is a serious group y’all!). This group was born out of a deep seated frustration that local Republicans voted for some candidates that some other Republicans didn’t like. There was lots and lots of bad blood, and good stuff for us to read. Well, in the FNP’s Political Notes column we read about some fun times between this group and the already established Frederick Republican Club:

A spokesman for the Frederick County Conservative Club demanded an apology from a former Republican candidate for County Council for a Facebook comment he made regarding Kirby Delauter, a former county councilman.

Danny Farrar, who ran for an at-large seat last year, called Delauter a “D—–bag” who “can straight talk to anybody but himself” on Frederick County Fact Check, a left-leaning political Facebook page, earlier this month.

That prompted a video response from James Grose, spokesman for the Frederick County Conservative Club, established last August.

Grose asked Farrar to either apologize to Delauter in that video, or step down from the Frederick County Republican Club.

“Bashing known conservatives, who have spent 8 years of their life dedicating it to Frederick County, and tons of their money, and helping other people … is that really how a board member should be acting?” Grose asked.

Farrar said he resigned from the Republican Club roughly three weeks ago, before he commented about Delauter on social media.

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BAAAHAAHAA! Kirby and company are upset because someone, whom Kirby publicly bashed and accused of high crimes and misdemeanors, called him a douchebag? Kirby?! We are going to laugh ourselves to sleep tonight!

Do we have to point out the hypocrisy in all this? If a board member of a club needs to adhere to a certain decorum, then how about an elected official? Let’s take a little stroll down memory lane. Do we all remember the time Kirby called David Gray a moron?  Or how about the time he said on the radio that Bud Otis had his head up the County Executive’s skirt and that Bud better tread lightly around him?  Or take a look at this recent exchange between him and a turned-off voter in which he called her a POS:

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And, ICYMI, here’s a post we wrote that shows some of the bad blood between Farrar and Delauter. All due to the fact that Farrar threw his support behind Regina Williams, instead of Kirby.  The faux outrage over this whole incident has really been a sight to behold.

Our next Faux Outrage Practitioner is none other than Cindy Rose (T-Thrice failed BoE candidate). She’s really upset that Dr. Lois Jarman, who made a funny acronym about her and her hate slate on our page, was about to be appointed to the BoE. First she wrote a letter to the editor, that mentioned yours truly. Here’s our favorite part:

On March 14, 2018, while running for delegate to represent the people of District 4, Ms. Jarman took time out of her campaign to post on the Facebook page FC Local Yokel under a post about my inability to read data: “We need to make sure that the HERPies or the slate of hate does not make it to the general election. Let’s nip this in the bud in June!”

It’s one thing to disagree with a person’s ideology; it’s quite another to compare them to a venereal disease in a public forum. The Board of Education has already reprimanded and censured two sitting members for abuse of social media. One infraction was so egregious that a member of the Maryland State Education Association was fired for her part in it.

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If bashing people on social media disqualifies someone from public office, doesn’t that mean that SHE is unfit?

Then she took her outrage to the noodley appendage, where she demanded an apology from Dr. Jarman. Aint’ that rich?!?!

Ms. Jarman displayed a level of unprofessionalism and incivility rarely seen, even in today’s very divisive climate.

During the council’s public comments on Ms. Jarman’s appointment, M. C. Keegan-Ayer, council president, reported that Ms. Jarman apologized for her bad choice in making such a statement. She didn’t apologize for posting it, she apologize for the “choice” she made in posting.

On January 22, 2019, I wrote to Ms. Jarman and welcomed her to the Board of Education.

I also felt compelled to ask her about her commitment to education since the public was denied the opportunity to vet her. The questions I asked:

  1. As a militant advocate of LGBT matters and past attendee of the racist, bigoted Women’s March, I want to know if you plan on sticking to matters that involve local public education, or if you plan to pursue, along with other progressive members of the BoE, a political agenda?
  1. Do you plan on running in 2020 to keep this position?
  1. If you do and you earn your seat, will you abandon it in two years like Mr. Kerr, to seek a higher office?
  1. What is your position on Policy 443? (The policy that allows boys into girl’s bathrooms.)

As of this writing no apology, nor the answers to my questions, have been forthcoming.

 

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Please don’t answer her Dr. Jarman, no good will come of it.

You can just go ahead and put her name in our search engine and see all of her social media transgressions. But, we guess that’s different. Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 1.25.49 PM35972465_2091603234201419_9087080196133093376_nScreen Shot 2018-05-05 at 8.56.54 AM

Cindy Rose English-Only screenshot

And #neverforget:

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We aren’t out of a hobby yet!

Ladies and gentlemen, Frederick Countians of all ages, we regret to inform you that we are some bit afeared of what we are hoping is not a trend. The early part–and extremely educational segment–of the meeting was focused on the budget decision held over from the previous meeting with regards to allowing the health department to buy a vehicle. In order for Phil Dacey to better understand the situation, Dr. Barbara Brookmyer came and gave an awesome tutorial, and we are all the better for knowing what we know now. Recommended viewing, in fact. Much like the Human Trafficking Workshop of the previous council, we learned a lot about a matter that has serious impact upon the well-being of our community.

Today we learned the health department is a dually led entity that is part state and part county. The state wants the county to procure a vehicle for a safe syringes program. NB: this will not cost the county money. The program in the state of Maryland involves several different mandatory elements, including collecting dirty needles, supplying clean needles, and undergoing disease testing for stuff like HIV and hepatitis C. Reasons they would like for this program to be successful in Frederick County include our geographic location on “The Heroin Highway” and our neighboring two abysmally afflicted counties in West Virginia. Dr. Brookmyer used a specific example of a jurisdiction that traced all 190 HIV cases to a single syringe, she stressed that the price of treating a single case of HIV can run to $600,000 (times 190 is $114,000,000.00) and a clean syringe costs 10 whole cents (times 190 is $19.00. Cost benefits analysis, bro.

Other reasons they would like to keep this thing mobile is the NIMBY’s preferring not to have a drug treatment program run on their corner (Weird, right! Have y’all heard about our totally uncontroversial Downtown Frederick Marriott, though?) and also that our county is hugenormous, and furthermore that people who do the drugs don’t necessarily come to your central office, especially because often they are not super interested in going to all that trouble for the express purpose of not doing the drugs. However, meeting them where they are at often establishes relationships that show them where to go and who will help when they do decide they ready to stop doing the drugs. Phil Dacey told us basically that it’s cool if many of us are infected with HIV, because he is a libertarian ideologue. Besides, he notes that he’s better than we think because he didn’t call it Uber for Needles. Har har. Honk if you love Frednecks in a suit. Opioids anyone? Hat tip to M.C. Keegan-Ayer for the adult perspective of child rearing in the days where your kids have lost someone to drugs. By all means, ideologue away by your lonesome. This decision passed 6-1, but at least our NewBilly can say “nay.”

There were also presentations on Public Information Act Requests, and Ethics, and Open Meetings. We learned all kinds of wise advice from this. You should not write out things you don’t want to see in print. Also probably don’t send your Anthony Weiner if you don’t want to see it in the news. That part, which we like to think was implied, was not covered, nor was, “He won’t buy the cow, dear, if you give him the milk for free,” but mostly this stuff was common sense responsibility. Also, too, no public money campaigning (but what about if you want to put your campaign sign and the Boy Scouts in Winchester Hall…still no? ok then…).

Then we had the final brouhaha in which we both kind of agree with Phil Dacey and simultaneously are in danger of having a stroke. He does not want to go into closed session to talk to the BOE appointee who would potentially fill Ken Kerr’s vacated seat, because he feels that elected people get elected in public, not quietly in an office. That’s true, and everyone kind of sees what he is saying, but there’s some reluctance to just up and change everything on this candidate mid-process because this was how they handled personnel changes before, and because doing like that’s frankly a bit obnoxious and unprofessional. Lots of back and forth ensues about whether or not they will ask this candidate about willingness to answer stuff in public, but he is still going to vote no about the closed session motion. At this point we are screaming at our TV: HOW WILL YOU ASK HER TO DO THAT IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE AND GO ASK? When will this magic take place? Please make it stop!!!!

Party Bonus: Dacey brought a fan club for public comment. Then Steve McKay reined that in with some diplomacy and knowledge about the authority behind this BOE replacement idea, which is The Code of Maryland Regulations (a.k.a. COMAR).

 

Top 5 Yokel posts of 2018! What a spectacular year in local politics!

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Time to get out the soap and bactine and start anew!

Since way back in 2015, we’ve ended the year with a recap of our Top Five posts of the year! This election year was contentious with a lot of betrayal, at least that’s the way Kirby framed it all. Here’s our fifth most read post of the year:

5. Where in the World is the High Sheriff? Oh Crap….

Our High Sheriff has spent way too much time on Fox News and visiting the White House pontificating on border issues while we face much more pressing issues here at home. ICYMI, click on the above link to bear witness to the fear mongering he and Fox News have become so adept at.

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All decked out in his finery!

4. The Hate Slate Makes Its Debut. 

While we cannot take credit for the moniker, we thought it was a perfect description of Cindy Rose and her merry band of minions who attempted, oh so poorly, to take over the BoE. Click above to read through their first press release and the corrections we asked a teacher to make for us!

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How could the authors of this #SAD diatribe think we could trust them with our children’s education?

 

3. Picturegate.

Remember the time that Kathy Afzali and crew thought it would be a good idea to photoshop Phil Dacey into a picture with the governor? The judgement of some folks!

 

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So very poorly and stupidly done!

 

2. Click, Clack, No!

Oh, who could forget the time that Cindy Rose labeled a beloved children’s book union propaganda? When we contacted the author she was even aghast at Cindy’s interpretation. What times we live in!

 

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And our most read post of the year: TFW the local Republicans go Cannibal!

The threads on Facebook concerning the ultimate betrayal of voting for anyone besides Kirby is a sight to behold! If you missed this gem, be sure to click back through. Here’s a little taste:

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We can see you folks!

Can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store for us!

At-Large Election: what lurks in those woods?

We’ve been thinking on the At-Large candidates for the council. Much like the county executive race and District 2, the extra-party shenanigans have made things weird. Our hot take on this is that Bud Otis has no chance to win, but could very well screw the race up for other good candidates. We’ve appreciated Bud’s votes many times in the past, but we’re not pleased to see the vista from out here.

On the other hand, if Tony Chmelik would like to hand Lisa Jarosinski the District-2 seat, roll out the red carpet and be our guest–no offense to Steve McKay, with whom we find plenty of room to agree on local matters. We are also concerned, as others of our local political coterie (good info in that link from RALE’s Facebook page that you just passed) have noted alongside us, about who Bud is taking campaign contributions from. If money equals speech (and SCOTUS proclaims it so), you can see who he is listening to.

Sketchy.

TFW the local Republicans go cannibal

You are definitely going to want to see this. Team Hogan Frederick County Edition has emerged, and since Team Hogan is code for Team Afzali (*actual Hogan endorsements ambiguous) a brouhaha has ensued on the Republican Club of Frederick County page. The principal players are One Potted Plant Enthusiast, Area Woman, #KirbyDelauter, and Our Least Favorite School Board Candidate in History (et. al. aspiring BOE idiots). All have gone Full Donner Party, and they aren’t going to wait for anyone to get cold before they roll up to the all day cray cray buffet.

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Although this post is principally about the epic mudslinging going on on the Republican Club of Frederick County’s page…(there are two, because of course there are; when you look at this hot mess it appears that soon each Republican will need their very own club, because otherwise they would be part of a slate that no one can tolerate)…anyway, we would be remiss if we didn’t wonder how to freeze taxes and fix infrastructure. Like that’s free. That sounds like some GWB nonsense. How “fiscally conservative” of them.

Here are some of the beautiful things that are going on for all the world to see. We can start with this announcement of our intentions:

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yah. That’s the idea.

Cindy Rose adamantly refuses to vote for Afzali and maligns anyone who appears with her as having the stench of Afzali on them. There is a mighty feud between Cindy Rose and Mary Posey on this point, because Mary Posey understands how politics works, and the bulk of these other people seemingly do not. They take Mrs. Posey’s superior comprehension personally. Dummies gonna dumb, yo.

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In Afzali’s defense (gag), it would be so easy to have a personal problem with someone who has a personal problem with everyone, and who now refuses to compromise during an election because she has a personal problem. #irony
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Guess who we specifically would not trust on the little things? If you think it is someone who didn’t take the time to read a picture book with about 45 words in it to discern whether or not it is socialist propaganda before spouting off about it, step up and collect your prize!

Kirby blames Chuck Jenkins for Afzali’s win. ICYMI Jenkins and Afzali have a difficult history, which is also fun. These people must have the best parties. Like the Palins in the neighbor’s driveway…

 

Kirby blasting off at Jenkins is the most fun we’ve had in years.

 

This dramedy between Jill King (failed aldermanic candidate from days of yore) and Seth Eisenberg (failed BOE candidate and supermoron) goes on for awhile, mostly a lot of the same. None of it surprising.

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Then Jill King deigns to take up the mantle of Miss Manners, and Seth Eisenberg may be a total jerk, but he isn’t wrong about the figurative running of her mouth online. So that’s too funny.

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Not really the main idea, but who is Fred Propheter’s ideal conservative?! Yikes. Incidentally, Jill is correct, they are crazy to behave like this, but please proceed, right? There’s a field day to be had.

Boy howdy. Nothing like an intramural butthurt festival to get the Local Yokel Correspondents popping our popcorn. Incidentally, we hate that word, but it always seems to be a favorite maneuver in any Frederick County Republican Online Catfight. The County Council Watch Membership has some sort of butthurt identification service, apparently, because it comes up a lot. Either that or they are as emotionally mature as the average twelve year old.

Kirby calls Mary Posey a “POS.”

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We’re always surprised when we see Mary Posey’s perspective. We thought she was wacky when it seemed like Bud Otis’s moderate politics were a personal affront, speaking of taking things personally. But today is a different day. Wow.

Oh! And then there is this! Different space, but on the same topic of cannibalism, Kirby endorses Kai Hagen over Danny Farrar! The one endorsement Kai may have preferred to skip. But oh well, right? We will all hope to see more of Kirby’s Epic Sour Grapes. Election 2018 is going to be more fun than we had hoped for!

 

 

It’s the final countdown!!!! All the fun of the 2018 primary election!

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In just four short days Frederick County residents can begin voting in this year’s primary election. We know, like us, many of y’all are busy ending the school year, but this stuff is important. Especially since we recently heard someone utter these words: Who is Cindy Rose? Sigh. We sometimes get lost in our own little world where we think everyone pays as much attention to these issues as we do!

In today’s edition of the FNP there is a Frederick County Voter Information Guide. This guide was put together with the esteemed League of Women Voters of Frederick County (LWV). You can view this guide in one of three ways:  a.) get the print edition of the FNP  b.) buy a subscription so you can view the online e-pages or c.) go to the LWV’s page. Let’s take a diversion and remind y’all the importance of having a local paper. No matter how you feel about the FNP (REMINDER: THE EDITORIAL PAGE IS SUPPOSED TO REFLECT SOMEONE’S OPINION!), it’s very important that we keep this paper. Where are we going to get all of our local information from if it disappears? (As much as we love  those of you who shouted out Local Yokel, we are not journalists!) The WaPo and Baltimore Sun do not care about Shrelauter! So, if you don’t have a subscription, please consider getting one.

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We sympathize. However, not paying attention is no longer an option!

There is a section on FNP’s website that has a different questionnaire than what is in the paper or you can go to the LWV’s 411 site ( this is also an excellent organization to join!) which does have what is in the paper, however, it’s not as fun as having it all laid out before you in one section.  Here’s a taste to encourage you to get a subscription:

-There’s a whole list of people who couldn’t bother to get their answers in on time:

-Danny Farrar

-Galen Clagett

-Tony Chmelik

-Craig Giangrande

-Michael Bowersox

-James Dvorak

-Barrie S. Ciliberti

-William Folden

-Seth Eisenberg

-Chaz Packan

-Kirby has a very interesting solution to the opioid crisis:

 A lot of our issues are that we have such a high tax system in the county that two parents have to work in order to make ends meet. This leave kids vulnerable after school and during summer months to not have the parental guidance during those hours when both parents are working. The Executive creates the budget so if we can make the county more affordable, one parent can stay home.

So taxes and women not staying home are the reason for the crisis!!! We all know that the “parent” he wants to stay home is mom, because of his past behavior on this issue. 

-Cindy tries to act reasonable, and even quotes MLK in her answer! She also points out the difference between the progressives and conservatives:

It’s not non-partisan. Since education is overly politicized at this time, it’s important to know the politics of any Board of Education candidate. Progressive Democrats seem overly concerned with social learning and pouring more money into education without knowing if it will help. Conservative Republicans seem concerned over academic content and want an itemization of every penny.

 

-And for a good chuckle, read this quote concerning his record on education from ole Billy:

I have proven Education is a priority. I put Wi-Fi in every school & started adding computers to the classrooms. I funded the extra bathrooms at Urbana Elementary School. Led the site selection committee for the new Sugarloaf Elementary School & had the site donated & Funded. North Frederick ES was built, Frederick HS built, plus Butterfly Ridge Funded & started. Added extra security to schools

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Can you believe this guy!!??

Seriously folks, you need to talk to your neighbors, friends, co-workers, or some guy walking down the street. While a voter’s guide is a good resource, it doesn’t go into past behavior. And the past behavior of people like Kirby, Billy, and Cindy are very important when considering what they may do to our fine county in the future. You know what they say:

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