What would he say from beyond?

We keep trying to move on. Kirby is irrelevant right now, but an alert reader tipped us off to this gem idiocy.

Me thinks this is foresight of Kirby’s own epitaph.

As Elijah Cummings lies in State today we can only imagine that he wouldn’t even give two hoots about some two-bit has been’s lame tweet. What a bold statement from someone who made national news for not understanding the first amendment.

Cummings was a religious man who spoke with eloquence. We are not religious over here at the Yokel, but have a hard time understanding how anyone could think God would place Elijah Cummings in the category of a swamp member who needs to be drained. What’s that saying about God calling people home for a higher purpose? We’ll just leave you with the congressman’s own words.
You must have confidence in your competence,”… “Most people who are hating on you, they are not worried about where you are. They’re worried about where you’re going.”

To all of you who thought that Blaine was writing LTEs just because he was a concerned citizen-BLESS YOUR HEART!

Seriously though, haven’t recent events taught us we can no longer engage in the fine art of naivete?

 

We’ve written a few posts lately about Blaine’s very sad attempt to try and weasel his way back into our political sphere. (Click here, here, and here if you need to catch up!) A friend of the Yokel recently sent us what he’s been posting on Facebook, and folks, you are not going to like it! BEHOLD:

 

Uh, Police Commissioner? This isn’t Gotham City, is it? Blaine sure as hell ain’t Batman. Maybe he’s looking to play the role of the corrupt mayor!

Yeah, every problem we have here in Ole Fredericktowne would be solved by Blaine and his merry band of minions!  How else are you going to try to gaslight us? We don’t know anyone he listed under “Team Frederick”, but if they are hitching their wagon to Blaine’s star they are, at the very least, engaging in some super bad judgement. A disgraced former County Executive candidate with a horrible governing record need not be in control of our fine city government. But let’s talk a little more about this graphic:

Where to begin with this super hot mess?

 

Diversified? Does he think the City of Frederick is a stock portfolio? Even worse, what the hell is going on with those fonts and spacing? His graphic arts department must look a bit like this:

 

After all his years in politics, you’d think everything he does wouldn’t scream amatuer hour. But alas…

That same friend of the Yokel also sent us this:

Talk about putting the cart before the horse!
City of Frederick residents must spread his story far and wide, never again can he be allowed into public office!

 

Stay vigilant folks! None of us need any more political scandals in our lifetime. We’re all filled up!

 

 

 

Not again….not ever again! Your Blaine Young coverage unfortunately has to carry on.

Sorry Folks, but he did it again. No, he wasn’t arrested again, he just wrote his third, that’s right, his third “Concerned Citizen” LTE. 

Sorry Fluffers, we wish it would end as well.

We go back and forth at the Yokel headquarters about how much attention we should pay to him. We really don’t want to give him any more attention than he deserves (which is zero by the way), however we realize that there are a lot of newbies up here that may not be aware of his history, So, go forth me must!

Never again can he be in charge of ANYTHING!

To catch up go ahead and click here to see all we’ve written about him over the past 4 years! In this particular LTE he is making the false equivalency of retail stores leaving Downtown Frederick to the new police headquarters possibly being located slightly out of the realm of the hustle and bustle of the downtown restaurant scene. It’s pretty dumb considering that most officers are out on patrol and not just sitting around the headquarters waiting for a call. What we really like is how every time he writes one of these thinly veiled campaign messages, the FNP commenters tell him exactly what they think!

 

No where here in Frederick!

Looks like our work will be cut out for us. Get the word out to your new neighbors fellow Yokels! We must stay vigilant.

 

About that LTE: He’s running, of course, and he’s still a jackass

Earlier in the week Blaine Young penned an LTE that was published by the Effin P. It’s his second recently. The first was July 18th with him tooting his horn about picking up trash when he walks to work. He has made it clear that he intends to run for mayor on the innovative theme “Let’s clean up this town.” Improving things is never bad, and with the recent drunks with guns incidents that have occurred during bar fight hours downtown it’s a timely moment to call for better. Then you look at what he selling, judging by the comments on the article, no one is buying. This man is not your run-of-the-mill very stable genius.

First of all he suggests putting in the blue phones like they have on college campuses. Anyone else here “been on multiple campus tours recently” years old? These are regularly pointed at mockingly and referred to as “the old technology.” In order to install the old technology it would cost us boatloads of money. Everyone has a phone with them at all times! They have apps on it to allow someone to monitor your whereabouts, apps to call for help, apps to get a ride. Probably apps to get an…escort…but we digress…Also, with your cell phone you don’t have to stand there in a dangerous situation while making a phone call–oh that’s right you can even make a phone call to 911–which is a point that is made in this article from a higher education publication about how those phones are a waste of good money. One great quote from that piece: …campus police at Ohio University do not remember the last time the phones were used in emergency situations, the campus newspaper, The Post, reported last year.

The other “look at the big brain on Blaine” thing is his call for more police presence. Many people on the social media have observed that there don’t seem to be a lack of police around. You see them pretty much constantly monitoring what one has the impression is a group of people badly in need of mental healthcare and some sort of social safety net. That’s the thing about mental illness. You have the right to destroy your life even if you don’t have the competency to save yourself. It’s a tough issue to figure out (and a good reason that the mental health redirect is kind of a red herring when we stop talking about gun rights, because people have other rights, too). That there is no better way of supervising these individuals and keeping them and everyone safe and healthy than law enforcement attention is indeed problematic, but lack of presence is hardly the issue.

Yeah, this is a total non-sequitur. Deal with it. Remember when we learned he was into “yoga”? ew

If we are looking for police presence to discourage the late night shooting, the problem is that if you are the kind of person who illegally carries a gun/are out drinking and have a gun/irrationally shooting at people on the street, you are already not making the best informed decisions. How much is it really going to influence the behavior of these people if the police are around? Not to argue that the police are not needed. They are needed to enforce the “you can’t carry that/you can’t shoot that” kinds of laws we have and arrest people who violate those laws. If the presence of police kept people from firing weapons, then the police would never be shot at. And as we are all aware, that happens from time to time. It’s almost like that’s the reason the criminals carry the guns around…because someone (whether police or other criminal) might shoot them if they don’t shoot first.

So, that’s all for this edition of Let Us Count the Ways in Which Blaine Young is an Idiot. But…we also want to point out that we read someone else’s intriguing theory. We hate that we are kind of helping him out by giving him attention, if this theory has any basis in reality. Remember when he ran for governor so that he could run for county executive? Maybe he’s just doing that again. Obviously the city is different from the county, and he couldn’t get elected in the county. But maybe he is running for mayor to run for CE. Maybe he has a pathological need for attention. There’s also the fundraising.

So, there’s that.

 

Things that raise your eyebrows and turn your stomach: human trafficking edition

We have become accustomed to thinking of our local Trumpkinclowns as ridiculous hayseeds, but what ifnits worse’n that? Did it raise the hairs on the backs of any other Yokelnecks to hear of the arrest of a person who attempted to engage in sex trafficking of children? Honestly, we have had a hard time writing about this whole matter, because the stomach turning nature of it makes it impossible to want to sit with. Then matters felt even more alarming with the realization that this individual shares the surname of one Former (woot!) Councilmembers. This would have merely come across as an unfortunate coincidence were it not for the next stage in processing the news, when we recall that was the same member who voted against forming a human trafficking task force while stating that “not everyone is opposed to that…” It does set a mind in motion when such a series of awful coincidences occur.

It’s been awhile. We did not remember the exact wording, but we do have a blog to refresh our memory …and holy hell it is worse than we remembered! He basically had a variation on the good ol’ MAGAtheme that there are good people on both sides of this issue. Why does that keep coming up when it is patently false? In case you are in need of a logic based tutorial: Selling people is slavery. Enslaving people for sex is rape. (Doing that to children is rape of a child, but that doesn’t seem to be so often misunderstood as the former point is; only recently law enforcement has kind of started to figure out that not all people involved in prostitution are willingly participating.)

At the time all of this occurred our basic assumption was that he was talking about his friend, and our muse. His name makes us gag sometimes, so we will call him Middle Aged Sk8r Hair. We also figured we were talking about the sex trafficking of adults and he didn’t want to run afoul of Frederick’s Youngest Good ‘Ol Boy with the Black Book Scandal History, and the more recent prostitution solicitation, and that he just kind of worded it poorly. Things were often worded so poorly. Disgusting, nonetheless. But now. Now our wondering has become much darker and ickier and sadder.

Now we are asking ourselves a lot of questions (in the Glenn Beck speculative sense, perhaps, but still)! It is ODD, isn’t it? In a sour stomach kind of way.

Furthermore, the High Shire of Our Reve has been lately on Fox news with some cherry picked statisticals about y number of sex crimes committed by undocumented immigrants in some timeframe x he selected.

Here’s what we do know. “Alex Nowrasteh, a senior immigration policy analyst with the libertarian Cato Institute, points to Texas as an example, since it’s the state with the best data on crimes committed and counted by immigration status and was the subject of a recent report he wrote showing that criminal conviction and arrest rates for immigrants were “well below” those of native-born Americans.” (ABC News, Jan. 15, 2019, Cheyenne Haslett “Fact Check: Trump’s claims on undocumented immigrant crime rates. Here’s what the numbers show)

AND from the same source

“Undocumented immigrants make up just over 6 percent of the state’s population, legal immigrants made up over 10 percent, and native-born Americans make up over 80 percent…Meanwhile, undocumented immigrants were convicted of 5.9 percent of all the homicides in Texas, legal immigrants were convicted of 3.8 percent of homicides, and native-born Americans were convicted of about 90 percent of all the homicides in Texas, according an analysis of 2015 Texas state data by Nowrasteh.” (NB: When you sort the math, that’s the 80% native born citizens doing 90% of the murdering…you don’t have to be Archimedes to see where this is going, do you? OTOH, there’s the 6% undocumented residents doing just slightly less than their “fair share” of the killing by .1%, making the legal immigrants the clear winners here in the “human decency” category.)

Meanwhile INDEED! Because meanwhile we seem to have not just this character who (although we will insist as well that he deserves a fair trial) sure seems like he is allegedly both a true local and a totally disgusting monster. If you missed the details, he arranged with an undercover FBI agent to have sex with a 2 year old child. In addition to this particularly horrifying tale, there seem to have been a spate of local sex crimes, (by our count that’s 5 local sex crimes *where children are the victims* in the same time frame Jenkins gave out for all sex crimes against everyone in the state of Maryland by *just undocumented immigrant* people.

Another bee in our bonnet: none of the activities in these recent news stories seem at all connected to the Sheriff’s legitimate but unrelated concerns over MS-13. None of these people appear to be detained in the Sheriff’s prize pet program. You may have heard a lot about that program just lately, since it was suggested that it may need an audit, and he’s been so defensive about why taxpayers should know how his rounding up “the illegals” program is doing, analyzing it according to the math. Since math seems hard for him, as we have just demonstrated above, maybe a closer look would be a good idea.

Are we really addressing our largest problems here in Fredneck, Maryland? It sure does not seem like it. Just who is turning a blind eye to what around here?

We’ve been on the wagon during the summer hiatus drinking game edition

Guess who’s back? Yokel’s back. Back again. Yokel’s back. Tell your friends…
And none too soon. Here’s your agenda, but the game rules are different because apparently a bunch of dodo heads thought we were becoming a sanctuary county tonight and they’ve had to inform everyone that Nuh-Uh. It isn’t even on the agenda. How do computers work anyway?


  • So two rules to this easy re-entry to the game:
  • drink if you were duped
  • drink a fifth of Jim Beam through a beer bong if it was by the Conservative Club (or any of their friends)

On that note, here is the real agenda. The Actual Agenda

Let’s shine some light on our local fascist rag!

Yes, Mr. Kraken, let’s have some words!

It’s time to take a break from our summer hibernation! We try to stay away from the noodlely appendage as much as we can. Most of it is indecipherable trash, and frankly we’d rather scrape cat throw up off the floor than waste our time there. However, this month has been way too much. These “authors” feel free (especially since The Tentacle does not allow for comments) to spew their awful opinions all over the internet without any push back. So push back we must give.

For a site whose writers purport to put freedom above all else, there seems to be a lot of calls to suspend just that for those that don’t agree with them. Let’s look at this passage from a recent post from Harry Covert concerning those that don’t agree with the Sheriff’s participation in the 287g program:

Sheriff Jenkins will soon be conducting meetings to discuss the effectiveness of working with ICE and 287(g). Previous meetings were held but invaded by disrupting outsiders. These protestors should be prevented from another show. Maybe a few days in the Adult Detention Center is in order, maybe isolation. Now, that’s a funny.

Locking people up for alternative viewpoints is hilarious!!!!! Can I get a whoop whoop?!

Here’s what really gets us about this guy. According to his official Tentacle biography:

Harry M. Covert is a writer-editor and syndicated columnist. His comments on local, state and international matters appear in numerous print and online publications. A veteran Virginia journalist, he enjoys life in Frederick.

He’s a veteran newspaper man who advocates locking people up for exercising their 1st amendment rights?!

NO.

Our next writer, Ken Kellar, is the owner and editor of the Woodsboro-Walkersville Times. So, it’s super curious as to why he feels the need to spout off on the noodlely appendage. But spout off he did. He’s also super outraged over the 287g audit (we thought conservatives loved fiscal accountability!), and wants us all to know what a value we are getting from the 287g program! Bet ya didn’t think of all these benefits:

I don’t see our elected officials seeking the other side of the ledger, the cost of illegal immigrants in our county, especially the cost of criminal illegal immigrants in our county.

The new Butterfly Ridge elementary school cost well over $20 million. How much of that cost was due to the presence of illegal immigrants in our county? Our officials aren’t asking the question.

How many millions are spent each year on special teaching services for illegal immigrant children or the children of illegal immigrants? Our County officials aren’t asking that question.

How much of our welfare dollars are spent on illegal immigrants and their children?

How much money is our law enforcement expending due to the crimes of illegal immigrants?

What is the financial value of one of our children not being raped; one of our sons or daughters not being murdered by a Latino gang; one of our loved ones not being killed by an illegal immigrant drunk driver? We have enough home-grown drunks, thank you very much.

Oh, he aint done:

In 1992, my Woodsboro home was built by English-speaking Americans. Today I can’t get a new refrigerator delivered without meeting someone born outside the USA.

Just all kinds of WOW! We are so sorry that you are afraid of meeting someone other than what you consider a native born American Mr. Kellar, perhaps you should seek some help…… or a time machine.

Former county council candidate, and now President of the Frederick County Conservative Club (Splinter group formed when Afzali won the nomination and all went to hell) Jason Miller loves to call people socialists. What we are really intrigued with is his solution to all the mass shootings we’ve had lately. You’ll find in his post a jumbled up list of who and what isn’t to blame, followed by his simpleton simple prescription for fixing it all:

The one solution to our ever more violent society stems from wisdom shared long ago. It’s looking upon each other with dignity and respect.

It is doing unto others as you would have done upon yourself. There… problem solved.

“When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.” – The Rev. Billy Graham

STOP WASTING EVERYONE’S TIME! And go ahead and look through the rest of his posts to see how much dignity and respect he gives to those he disagrees with.

And how’s this for dignity and respect?:

Perhaps the most amusing post of all is from Thrice-BOE candidate loser, Cindy Rose! Folks, she just can’t take it anymore. It’s so hard for us not to chuckle our way through this one:

I don’t like saying it, but Frederick County seems to lack Republican leadership. By that I mean the political party, not the ideology of conservatism that seems to have found a home in the Frederick County Conservative Club.

Who is leading the Republican “Party” here in Frederick? Why isn’t someone in political power rallying the Republican troops to push back against the Frederick County Democrats, Frederick County Socialists and RISE, all of which seem to be calling for Sheriff Chuck Jenkin’s head on a pike?

Uh, who was calling for his head on a pike?

She wants us all to know that she STILL hates Kathy Afzali:

Former Delegate Kathy Afzali proved how much she was interested in “serving” the citizens and “Party” of Frederick. She may have lost the county executive election, but she did win a spot on the party’s central committee. That’s an all work and no glory position. Who’s shocked she quickly resigned, tucked her tail and ran fast and far away?

The absolute best part of this is her attempt to shame her fellow Republicans:

Right now it’s Frederick Democrats and Socialists 1 – Republicans 0.

Seriously though, we don’t know which is worse, Donald Trump for spewing all his hateful rhetoric about immigrants, or those who try to normalize it all.This isn’t normal folks.