Dear Blaine Young…….

We are very sorry to inform you that Blaine wrote another LTE that sullied the good pages of the FNP. In a very pathetic attempt to be clever, he pretended to write a letter to Santa listing his gripes against the current City of Frederick administration! Glad to see he’s in the holiday spirit!

“I really don’t have time for this nonsense”!

Here’s a few of our favorite exerts:

4. Please add blue safety light phones in some of those areas as the community college has done.
5. Please get smokers to not throw their cigarette butts on the ground. It is out of control.
6. Please sprinkle some economic magic dust on the Golden Mile and the old Frederick Towne Mall property.

8. Please make us a pet-friendly city with responsible pet owners like other cities. Pet owners spend huge amounts of money.

We can’t believe we have to talk about the blue safety lights again. Yes, they were really useful in 1992 when cell phones didn’t exist, but not so much today. Are we to believe that “Mr. Let’s Sell the Government Off” to private vendors is going to go all Big Brother and follow smokers around to see where they put their butts? What is his proposal to stop this? Perhaps he missed the news about the Old Frederick Towne Mall property being turned into a huge entertainment center, which isn’t surprising at all. It’s so much easier to complain than to actually pay attention or do any research. Finally, we Lady Yokels love our pets, but we don’t even want to know what he wants to do with our tax money so he can traipse all over town with these guys:

We are sorry to have to show this to you folks, but someone sent it to us and if we have to see it, so do you.

Continue reading “Dear Blaine Young…….”

What would he say from beyond?

We keep trying to move on. Kirby is irrelevant right now, but an alert reader tipped us off to this gem idiocy.

Me thinks this is foresight of Kirby’s own epitaph.

As Elijah Cummings lies in State today we can only imagine that he wouldn’t even give two hoots about some two-bit has been’s lame tweet. What a bold statement from someone who made national news for not understanding the first amendment.

Cummings was a religious man who spoke with eloquence. We are not religious over here at the Yokel, but have a hard time understanding how anyone could think God would place Elijah Cummings in the category of a swamp member who needs to be drained. What’s that saying about God calling people home for a higher purpose? We’ll just leave you with the congressman’s own words.
You must have confidence in your competence,”… “Most people who are hating on you, they are not worried about where you are. They’re worried about where you’re going.”

To all of you who thought that Blaine was writing LTEs just because he was a concerned citizen-BLESS YOUR HEART!

Seriously though, haven’t recent events taught us we can no longer engage in the fine art of naivete?

 

We’ve written a few posts lately about Blaine’s very sad attempt to try and weasel his way back into our political sphere. (Click here, here, and here if you need to catch up!) A friend of the Yokel recently sent us what he’s been posting on Facebook, and folks, you are not going to like it! BEHOLD:

 

Uh, Police Commissioner? This isn’t Gotham City, is it? Blaine sure as hell ain’t Batman. Maybe he’s looking to play the role of the corrupt mayor!

Yeah, every problem we have here in Ole Fredericktowne would be solved by Blaine and his merry band of minions!  How else are you going to try to gaslight us? We don’t know anyone he listed under “Team Frederick”, but if they are hitching their wagon to Blaine’s star they are, at the very least, engaging in some super bad judgement. A disgraced former County Executive candidate with a horrible governing record need not be in control of our fine city government. But let’s talk a little more about this graphic:

Where to begin with this super hot mess?

 

Diversified? Does he think the City of Frederick is a stock portfolio? Even worse, what the hell is going on with those fonts and spacing? His graphic arts department must look a bit like this:

 

After all his years in politics, you’d think everything he does wouldn’t scream amatuer hour. But alas…

That same friend of the Yokel also sent us this:

Talk about putting the cart before the horse!
City of Frederick residents must spread his story far and wide, never again can he be allowed into public office!

 

Stay vigilant folks! None of us need any more political scandals in our lifetime. We’re all filled up!

 

 

 

Not again….not ever again! Your Blaine Young coverage unfortunately has to carry on.

Sorry Folks, but he did it again. No, he wasn’t arrested again, he just wrote his third, that’s right, his third “Concerned Citizen” LTE. 

Sorry Fluffers, we wish it would end as well.

We go back and forth at the Yokel headquarters about how much attention we should pay to him. We really don’t want to give him any more attention than he deserves (which is zero by the way), however we realize that there are a lot of newbies up here that may not be aware of his history, So, go forth me must!

Never again can he be in charge of ANYTHING!

To catch up go ahead and click here to see all we’ve written about him over the past 4 years! In this particular LTE he is making the false equivalency of retail stores leaving Downtown Frederick to the new police headquarters possibly being located slightly out of the realm of the hustle and bustle of the downtown restaurant scene. It’s pretty dumb considering that most officers are out on patrol and not just sitting around the headquarters waiting for a call. What we really like is how every time he writes one of these thinly veiled campaign messages, the FNP commenters tell him exactly what they think!

 

No where here in Frederick!

Looks like our work will be cut out for us. Get the word out to your new neighbors fellow Yokels! We must stay vigilant.

 

About that LTE: He’s running, of course, and he’s still a jackass

Earlier in the week Blaine Young penned an LTE that was published by the Effin P. It’s his second recently. The first was July 18th with him tooting his horn about picking up trash when he walks to work. He has made it clear that he intends to run for mayor on the innovative theme “Let’s clean up this town.” Improving things is never bad, and with the recent drunks with guns incidents that have occurred during bar fight hours downtown it’s a timely moment to call for better. Then you look at what he selling, judging by the comments on the article, no one is buying. This man is not your run-of-the-mill very stable genius.

First of all he suggests putting in the blue phones like they have on college campuses. Anyone else here “been on multiple campus tours recently” years old? These are regularly pointed at mockingly and referred to as “the old technology.” In order to install the old technology it would cost us boatloads of money. Everyone has a phone with them at all times! They have apps on it to allow someone to monitor your whereabouts, apps to call for help, apps to get a ride. Probably apps to get an…escort…but we digress…Also, with your cell phone you don’t have to stand there in a dangerous situation while making a phone call–oh that’s right you can even make a phone call to 911–which is a point that is made in this article from a higher education publication about how those phones are a waste of good money. One great quote from that piece: …campus police at Ohio University do not remember the last time the phones were used in emergency situations, the campus newspaper, The Post, reported last year.

The other “look at the big brain on Blaine” thing is his call for more police presence. Many people on the social media have observed that there don’t seem to be a lack of police around. You see them pretty much constantly monitoring what one has the impression is a group of people badly in need of mental healthcare and some sort of social safety net. That’s the thing about mental illness. You have the right to destroy your life even if you don’t have the competency to save yourself. It’s a tough issue to figure out (and a good reason that the mental health redirect is kind of a red herring when we stop talking about gun rights, because people have other rights, too). That there is no better way of supervising these individuals and keeping them and everyone safe and healthy than law enforcement attention is indeed problematic, but lack of presence is hardly the issue.

Yeah, this is a total non-sequitur. Deal with it. Remember when we learned he was into “yoga”? ew

If we are looking for police presence to discourage the late night shooting, the problem is that if you are the kind of person who illegally carries a gun/are out drinking and have a gun/irrationally shooting at people on the street, you are already not making the best informed decisions. How much is it really going to influence the behavior of these people if the police are around? Not to argue that the police are not needed. They are needed to enforce the “you can’t carry that/you can’t shoot that” kinds of laws we have and arrest people who violate those laws. If the presence of police kept people from firing weapons, then the police would never be shot at. And as we are all aware, that happens from time to time. It’s almost like that’s the reason the criminals carry the guns around…because someone (whether police or other criminal) might shoot them if they don’t shoot first.

So, that’s all for this edition of Let Us Count the Ways in Which Blaine Young is an Idiot. But…we also want to point out that we read someone else’s intriguing theory. We hate that we are kind of helping him out by giving him attention, if this theory has any basis in reality. Remember when he ran for governor so that he could run for county executive? Maybe he’s just doing that again. Obviously the city is different from the county, and he couldn’t get elected in the county. But maybe he is running for mayor to run for CE. Maybe he has a pathological need for attention. There’s also the fundraising.

So, there’s that.

 

Things that raise your eyebrows and turn your stomach: human trafficking edition

We have become accustomed to thinking of our local Trumpkinclowns as ridiculous hayseeds, but what ifnits worse’n that? Did it raise the hairs on the backs of any other Yokelnecks to hear of the arrest of a person who attempted to engage in sex trafficking of children? Honestly, we have had a hard time writing about this whole matter, because the stomach turning nature of it makes it impossible to want to sit with. Then matters felt even more alarming with the realization that this individual shares the surname of one Former (woot!) Councilmembers. This would have merely come across as an unfortunate coincidence were it not for the next stage in processing the news, when we recall that was the same member who voted against forming a human trafficking task force while stating that “not everyone is opposed to that…” It does set a mind in motion when such a series of awful coincidences occur.

It’s been awhile. We did not remember the exact wording, but we do have a blog to refresh our memory …and holy hell it is worse than we remembered! He basically had a variation on the good ol’ MAGAtheme that there are good people on both sides of this issue. Why does that keep coming up when it is patently false? In case you are in need of a logic based tutorial: Selling people is slavery. Enslaving people for sex is rape. (Doing that to children is rape of a child, but that doesn’t seem to be so often misunderstood as the former point is; only recently law enforcement has kind of started to figure out that not all people involved in prostitution are willingly participating.)

At the time all of this occurred our basic assumption was that he was talking about his friend, and our muse. His name makes us gag sometimes, so we will call him Middle Aged Sk8r Hair. We also figured we were talking about the sex trafficking of adults and he didn’t want to run afoul of Frederick’s Youngest Good ‘Ol Boy with the Black Book Scandal History, and the more recent prostitution solicitation, and that he just kind of worded it poorly. Things were often worded so poorly. Disgusting, nonetheless. But now. Now our wondering has become much darker and ickier and sadder.

Now we are asking ourselves a lot of questions (in the Glenn Beck speculative sense, perhaps, but still)! It is ODD, isn’t it? In a sour stomach kind of way.

Furthermore, the High Shire of Our Reve has been lately on Fox news with some cherry picked statisticals about y number of sex crimes committed by undocumented immigrants in some timeframe x he selected.

Here’s what we do know. “Alex Nowrasteh, a senior immigration policy analyst with the libertarian Cato Institute, points to Texas as an example, since it’s the state with the best data on crimes committed and counted by immigration status and was the subject of a recent report he wrote showing that criminal conviction and arrest rates for immigrants were “well below” those of native-born Americans.” (ABC News, Jan. 15, 2019, Cheyenne Haslett “Fact Check: Trump’s claims on undocumented immigrant crime rates. Here’s what the numbers show)

AND from the same source

“Undocumented immigrants make up just over 6 percent of the state’s population, legal immigrants made up over 10 percent, and native-born Americans make up over 80 percent…Meanwhile, undocumented immigrants were convicted of 5.9 percent of all the homicides in Texas, legal immigrants were convicted of 3.8 percent of homicides, and native-born Americans were convicted of about 90 percent of all the homicides in Texas, according an analysis of 2015 Texas state data by Nowrasteh.” (NB: When you sort the math, that’s the 80% native born citizens doing 90% of the murdering…you don’t have to be Archimedes to see where this is going, do you? OTOH, there’s the 6% undocumented residents doing just slightly less than their “fair share” of the killing by .1%, making the legal immigrants the clear winners here in the “human decency” category.)

Meanwhile INDEED! Because meanwhile we seem to have not just this character who (although we will insist as well that he deserves a fair trial) sure seems like he is allegedly both a true local and a totally disgusting monster. If you missed the details, he arranged with an undercover FBI agent to have sex with a 2 year old child. In addition to this particularly horrifying tale, there seem to have been a spate of local sex crimes, (by our count that’s 5 local sex crimes *where children are the victims* in the same time frame Jenkins gave out for all sex crimes against everyone in the state of Maryland by *just undocumented immigrant* people.

Another bee in our bonnet: none of the activities in these recent news stories seem at all connected to the Sheriff’s legitimate but unrelated concerns over MS-13. None of these people appear to be detained in the Sheriff’s prize pet program. You may have heard a lot about that program just lately, since it was suggested that it may need an audit, and he’s been so defensive about why taxpayers should know how his rounding up “the illegals” program is doing, analyzing it according to the math. Since math seems hard for him, as we have just demonstrated above, maybe a closer look would be a good idea.

Are we really addressing our largest problems here in Fredneck, Maryland? It sure does not seem like it. Just who is turning a blind eye to what around here?

We’ve been on the wagon during the summer hiatus drinking game edition

Guess who’s back? Yokel’s back. Back again. Yokel’s back. Tell your friends…
And none too soon. Here’s your agenda, but the game rules are different because apparently a bunch of dodo heads thought we were becoming a sanctuary county tonight and they’ve had to inform everyone that Nuh-Uh. It isn’t even on the agenda. How do computers work anyway?


  • So two rules to this easy re-entry to the game:
  • drink if you were duped
  • drink a fifth of Jim Beam through a beer bong if it was by the Conservative Club (or any of their friends)

On that note, here is the real agenda. The Actual Agenda