What is Kirby and his merry band of minions up to? Organizing Frexit 2020, that’s what!

We read this email at least twenty times this afternoon, not only because it is so poorly written, but also due to the fact that we just couldn’t believe our delicate eyes!

 

What is accurate?!  What proof does he have that the old system was better for taxpayers and businesses? Where’s the data?

No Kirby! That will not do!

We’ve paid very close attention to the new county government since its inception in 2014. We know that every claim that Kirby makes here is false. The Monocacy River Plan does not take anyone’s land, and we cannot even begin to decipher what he means by population center controls when it comes to the Livable Frederick Plan. What is meant by less user friendly is up to wild speculation, as is his statement about the government being detached from the community at large. We all lived through the Blaine Young BOCC and nothing about that board was user-friendly or attached to the community-at-large. (Click here for more on that.) Did this “fiscal conservative” even consider the cost of switching back to a system that made sense when we were a small rural county, but is no longer adequate for our current needs? Which is the very reason we decided to change the system!

Anyway, having the county divided into districts and each electing their own representation makes this, in fact, more representational –connected to the community at large, if you will–and more user-friendly. If we have a concern, we can just bring a balloon bouquet to our very own council member. Or one of the at-large members, if it suits our fancy. Only evil clowns will be bringing balloons to one of the at-large members, and we know which of the two is already receiving balloon greetings from the random public. That’s right, former Councilman Nameless is just the random public now. Clearly it really hurts!

Perhaps this is all sour grapes since he couldn’t even win the Republican primary to get the County Executive nomination! Whatever the reason, this is all a bunch of nonsense. Does he really expect that if we were go back to the old system he and his buddies would win? Has he not been paying attention to the new voter registration numbers around these here parts? What a colossal waste of everyone’s time, money, and energy!

 

Creating a movement entitled Frexit isn’t surprising from someone who posts and does things like this:

ICYMI: Kirby went through the trouble of procuring balloons and making a trip to Winchester Hall just so he could hang these on Kai Hagen’s door.

Some days we consider writing a screenplay about all our characters around Frederick.  Maybe we’ll even call it Frexit! You seriously cannot make this stuff up!

Please let these old acquaintances be forgot!

You only have to search our archives to see how ecstatic everyone was when both Billy and Kirby were knocked out in the last primary. It was a relief to us all at Yokel Headquarters to be able to take a break. Because, as those of you who have been with us since the beginning know, it was a bit much to keep up with these two. Unfortunately, these nutters have come back onto our radar lately. And of course it isn’t for anything good.

Let’s start with Kirby. Sometimes we don’t know if we should be angry with him or just feel sorry for him. Whichever it is, he’s stepped out from just being an online troll and posting ignorant tripe such as

To becoming a real life troll who creepily leaves balloons on Kai Hagen’s office door:

 

We have a lot of questions!

 

Picture this whole scene for a moment. Kirby goes to the trouble of going to a store and purchasing said balloons. Then he drives to Downtown Frederick, walks into Winchester Hall (who is letting him wander around unsupervised?), and leaves the balloons on Kai Hagen’s door. What a weirdo, and we mean this seriously, “Does Kirby need help?”

Kirby Delauter spotted coming out of the Church Street Garage.

But in all seriousness, banning balloon releases are a good thing. Many jurisdictions all over the country have banned them. Here’s a good infographic for those that can’t be bothered to read:

Or if you need something a bit more graphic:

Grow up Kirby. This is low even for you.

And then there is this amazing doofus:

First of all, does that youngster in the middle look like he really likes Trump, or does he look like he is about to bust a gut messing with these fools? Because we thought they looked like they were having a grand old time yanking the self-avowed deplorables’ chain. Who can say for sure…

And then there’s this issue. Apparently it troubles him not a whit that his #FakeNews site is *obviously* full of covfefe if they are publishing a photo taken by some unfortunate soul–who knows Billy socially–in Frederick and pretending it is people in Iowa. They must have a rigorous fact checking system! Heavens to Betsy! A brighter person would note that enormous red flag that their news source is entirely unreliable. “How unreliable?” might you ask the handy dandy Media Bias Fact Check? And we solemnly swear that they will also say Daily Kos and HuffPo need some independent verification as well (and Jimminy Christmas, stop sharing Natural News on the internet already, people!)

In short, these two characters are dumb. Very, very dumb.

Joy to the World, they’re not in office! Let us rejoice each day!

Dear Blaine Young…….

We are very sorry to inform you that Blaine wrote another LTE that sullied the good pages of the FNP. In a very pathetic attempt to be clever, he pretended to write a letter to Santa listing his gripes against the current City of Frederick administration! Glad to see he’s in the holiday spirit!

“I really don’t have time for this nonsense”!

Here’s a few of our favorite exerts:

4. Please add blue safety light phones in some of those areas as the community college has done.
5. Please get smokers to not throw their cigarette butts on the ground. It is out of control.
6. Please sprinkle some economic magic dust on the Golden Mile and the old Frederick Towne Mall property.

8. Please make us a pet-friendly city with responsible pet owners like other cities. Pet owners spend huge amounts of money.

We can’t believe we have to talk about the blue safety lights again. Yes, they were really useful in 1992 when cell phones didn’t exist, but not so much today. Are we to believe that “Mr. Let’s Sell the Government Off” to private vendors is going to go all Big Brother and follow smokers around to see where they put their butts? What is his proposal to stop this? Perhaps he missed the news about the Old Frederick Towne Mall property being turned into a huge entertainment center, which isn’t surprising at all. It’s so much easier to complain than to actually pay attention or do any research. Finally, we Lady Yokels love our pets, but we don’t even want to know what he wants to do with our tax money so he can traipse all over town with these guys:

We are sorry to have to show this to you folks, but someone sent it to us and if we have to see it, so do you.

Continue reading “Dear Blaine Young…….”

What would he say from beyond?

We keep trying to move on. Kirby is irrelevant right now, but an alert reader tipped us off to this gem idiocy.

Me thinks this is foresight of Kirby’s own epitaph.

As Elijah Cummings lies in State today we can only imagine that he wouldn’t even give two hoots about some two-bit has been’s lame tweet. What a bold statement from someone who made national news for not understanding the first amendment.

Cummings was a religious man who spoke with eloquence. We are not religious over here at the Yokel, but have a hard time understanding how anyone could think God would place Elijah Cummings in the category of a swamp member who needs to be drained. What’s that saying about God calling people home for a higher purpose? We’ll just leave you with the congressman’s own words.
You must have confidence in your competence,”… “Most people who are hating on you, they are not worried about where you are. They’re worried about where you’re going.”

To all of you who thought that Blaine was writing LTEs just because he was a concerned citizen-BLESS YOUR HEART!

Seriously though, haven’t recent events taught us we can no longer engage in the fine art of naivete?

 

We’ve written a few posts lately about Blaine’s very sad attempt to try and weasel his way back into our political sphere. (Click here, here, and here if you need to catch up!) A friend of the Yokel recently sent us what he’s been posting on Facebook, and folks, you are not going to like it! BEHOLD:

 

Uh, Police Commissioner? This isn’t Gotham City, is it? Blaine sure as hell ain’t Batman. Maybe he’s looking to play the role of the corrupt mayor!

Yeah, every problem we have here in Ole Fredericktowne would be solved by Blaine and his merry band of minions!  How else are you going to try to gaslight us? We don’t know anyone he listed under “Team Frederick”, but if they are hitching their wagon to Blaine’s star they are, at the very least, engaging in some super bad judgement. A disgraced former County Executive candidate with a horrible governing record need not be in control of our fine city government. But let’s talk a little more about this graphic:

Where to begin with this super hot mess?

 

Diversified? Does he think the City of Frederick is a stock portfolio? Even worse, what the hell is going on with those fonts and spacing? His graphic arts department must look a bit like this:

 

After all his years in politics, you’d think everything he does wouldn’t scream amatuer hour. But alas…

That same friend of the Yokel also sent us this:

Talk about putting the cart before the horse!
City of Frederick residents must spread his story far and wide, never again can he be allowed into public office!

 

Stay vigilant folks! None of us need any more political scandals in our lifetime. We’re all filled up!

 

 

 

Not again….not ever again! Your Blaine Young coverage unfortunately has to carry on.

Sorry Folks, but he did it again. No, he wasn’t arrested again, he just wrote his third, that’s right, his third “Concerned Citizen” LTE. 

Sorry Fluffers, we wish it would end as well.

We go back and forth at the Yokel headquarters about how much attention we should pay to him. We really don’t want to give him any more attention than he deserves (which is zero by the way), however we realize that there are a lot of newbies up here that may not be aware of his history, So, go forth me must!

Never again can he be in charge of ANYTHING!

To catch up go ahead and click here to see all we’ve written about him over the past 4 years! In this particular LTE he is making the false equivalency of retail stores leaving Downtown Frederick to the new police headquarters possibly being located slightly out of the realm of the hustle and bustle of the downtown restaurant scene. It’s pretty dumb considering that most officers are out on patrol and not just sitting around the headquarters waiting for a call. What we really like is how every time he writes one of these thinly veiled campaign messages, the FNP commenters tell him exactly what they think!

 

No where here in Frederick!

Looks like our work will be cut out for us. Get the word out to your new neighbors fellow Yokels! We must stay vigilant.

 

About that LTE: He’s running, of course, and he’s still a jackass

Earlier in the week Blaine Young penned an LTE that was published by the Effin P. It’s his second recently. The first was July 18th with him tooting his horn about picking up trash when he walks to work. He has made it clear that he intends to run for mayor on the innovative theme “Let’s clean up this town.” Improving things is never bad, and with the recent drunks with guns incidents that have occurred during bar fight hours downtown it’s a timely moment to call for better. Then you look at what he selling, judging by the comments on the article, no one is buying. This man is not your run-of-the-mill very stable genius.

First of all he suggests putting in the blue phones like they have on college campuses. Anyone else here “been on multiple campus tours recently” years old? These are regularly pointed at mockingly and referred to as “the old technology.” In order to install the old technology it would cost us boatloads of money. Everyone has a phone with them at all times! They have apps on it to allow someone to monitor your whereabouts, apps to call for help, apps to get a ride. Probably apps to get an…escort…but we digress…Also, with your cell phone you don’t have to stand there in a dangerous situation while making a phone call–oh that’s right you can even make a phone call to 911–which is a point that is made in this article from a higher education publication about how those phones are a waste of good money. One great quote from that piece: …campus police at Ohio University do not remember the last time the phones were used in emergency situations, the campus newspaper, The Post, reported last year.

The other “look at the big brain on Blaine” thing is his call for more police presence. Many people on the social media have observed that there don’t seem to be a lack of police around. You see them pretty much constantly monitoring what one has the impression is a group of people badly in need of mental healthcare and some sort of social safety net. That’s the thing about mental illness. You have the right to destroy your life even if you don’t have the competency to save yourself. It’s a tough issue to figure out (and a good reason that the mental health redirect is kind of a red herring when we stop talking about gun rights, because people have other rights, too). That there is no better way of supervising these individuals and keeping them and everyone safe and healthy than law enforcement attention is indeed problematic, but lack of presence is hardly the issue.

Yeah, this is a total non-sequitur. Deal with it. Remember when we learned he was into “yoga”? ew

If we are looking for police presence to discourage the late night shooting, the problem is that if you are the kind of person who illegally carries a gun/are out drinking and have a gun/irrationally shooting at people on the street, you are already not making the best informed decisions. How much is it really going to influence the behavior of these people if the police are around? Not to argue that the police are not needed. They are needed to enforce the “you can’t carry that/you can’t shoot that” kinds of laws we have and arrest people who violate those laws. If the presence of police kept people from firing weapons, then the police would never be shot at. And as we are all aware, that happens from time to time. It’s almost like that’s the reason the criminals carry the guns around…because someone (whether police or other criminal) might shoot them if they don’t shoot first.

So, that’s all for this edition of Let Us Count the Ways in Which Blaine Young is an Idiot. But…we also want to point out that we read someone else’s intriguing theory. We hate that we are kind of helping him out by giving him attention, if this theory has any basis in reality. Remember when he ran for governor so that he could run for county executive? Maybe he’s just doing that again. Obviously the city is different from the county, and he couldn’t get elected in the county. But maybe he is running for mayor to run for CE. Maybe he has a pathological need for attention. There’s also the fundraising.

So, there’s that.