Vote for your new Frederick County Flag: Yokel style!

In case you haven’t heard, there is a contest to redesign Frederick County’s flag. If you are a serious artist, please click here for more details. We are going to have our own Yokel brand of fun with this! Vote for your favorite flag at the bottom of this post!

Choice A: The Black Book. Remember way back yonder when we had the Black Book scandal here in Fredericktowne? Here’s a design to commemorate that period in Frederick’s history.

Choice B: Y’all remember back when Billy Shreve told us that any waterway in Frederick County was safe to drink from? He never took up our challenge to drink from them all, but here’s a design to show the world how safe and pollution free all of our waterways are around here!

Choice C: This comes from a post that Blaine Young was tagged in.(Actual post was deleted, so we found a similar pic for this flag) Yes, the same Blaine Young rumored to be in the Black Book, and the same one in fact arrested for soliciting a prostitute from a website. Such class some of our former politicians have displayed!

Choice D: There was a lot of bellyaching from Billy and Kirby when they had to park in a garage directly across the street from Winchester Hall, and then Billy had the indignity of losing his keys. Let’s take a moment to consider a flag to honor this dark period in Frederick County history.

Choice E: Who could forget our own Frederick County pioneers who braved the overflowing Monocacy River after Hurricane Sandy, armed with a thermos of Whiskey Sours, in order to go shopping at Wal Mart? Let’s salute their bravery and superior common sensical skills with this flag:

Choice F: Oh the time we made national news because of our very own Kirby Delauter. This story was spurred by Kirby telling a reporter that if she ever used his name again, he would sue her! Whew!

Choice G: Kirby made the best flowchart in the history of the world, so why shouldn’t we display that on our flag? I guess he was right about Jessica getting all the money since she was able to run a successful campaign to be County Executive!

Choice H: Of course we are going to self promote and ask for your vote for our logo as the new symbol for our county flag!

Now, it’s time to vote for your favorite!

We can’t wait to see the winning design, though we know some will be very upset over the change! But folks just look at our flag:

We deserve better than that!

Let’s take a glimpse at a world in which the book banners win!

A dream world for those who want Idiocracy to become reality.

You’ve probably heard that the Reconsideration Meeting to explore the books that Cindy Rose claims are very harmful to our youth has been postponed. The Frederick News Post filed a complaint against FCPS claiming that the closed meetings violated the law. So, while we wait for a judge to sort all that out, let’s take a peek into a future in which books have to pass the political sniff test.

NPR sponsors a podcast called Planet Money. Last week, this podcast did a story on how picture books can teach young children about a variety of economic concepts. Before this podcast, a list of books was sent to the school district and it was agreed that the books were appropriate for 3rd graders. Well, at least until those 3rd graders had the nerve to connect one story to historical events.

We present the transcript of the incident below:

If we know our readers, and we think we do, most of you are probably crying over your computer or clenching your fists in rage. (Unless you are Cindy Rose who is probably rejoicing at this interaction). What really gets us is even the 9 year olds know what happened is bullshit. How in the world is it appropriate to first, cut off a Dr. Seuss story the kids were enjoying, and secondly make the kids who were making connections to history and the story feel as though they did something wrong? It’s the direct opposite of what should occur in a school. The lesson is that we need to protect our schools and their libraries from this kind of nonsense. For ignorance has no placed in our schools.

We don’t need this movie to become our reality.

Your Yokel Top 10 2022 Countdown!

What a year it has been!

Let’s be realistic folks!

Per tradition we bring to you our top 10 most popular posts of the year! Let’s jump right in!

#10- Breaking down Cindy Rose’s “pornography” claims!

We are going to have to deal with this issue for quite some time since FCPS had to form a committee over her nonsense. Let’s hope that she and her ilk can learn the meaning of the word pornography. We won’t hold our breaths.

She sure doesn’t!

#9-Let’s make sure we get some good candidates on the BOE!

3 out of 4 isn’t bad! However, we are going to have to teach some folks in our community that we don’t just vote for the first name on the ballot just because we chose to remain uninformed about the election!

#8-Sound the alarm: be sure *independent & unaffiliated* voters know to vote in the primary July 19, 2022 (early voting the 7th – 14th)

Our post reminding independent and unaffiliated voters made the number 8 spot on our list. We always need to remind our unaffiliated friends that they can vote in the BOE primary election, and it’s important that they do so!

#7- Alright people, Hough says this is very serious business!

Except it absolutely was not! Thank goodness we don’t have to deal with him in our fine county.

Move along!

#6-There’s quite a few of you who should be ashamed of yourselves!

This post concerned the absolutely appalling behavior that some of our community members (You know Cindy was involved) showed at a Family Life Advisory meeting. We always need to be careful of people who can’t comprehend what they read, or worse yet, don’t read and then make things up to purposefully enflame people.

#5-Chmelik wants to be on our council again? BAHAHA..NO!

Tony Chmelik, one of your LadyYokel’s least favorite council members, tried to run for at at-large seat and failed. Hopefully this blast from the past reminded a few folks why we didn’t want him the last time around and prevented him from getting back on this time!

#4-Cindy Rose’s Facebook posts…a response in memes!

Our readers really seemed to enjoy our meme responses to some very questionable posts Cindy made this year. Some people should stay off social media.

For us the answer is always yes!

#3-Your Yokel pals watched the public comment (again-it’s what we do) so you don’t have to!

This was truly one of the worst public meetings we have ever had the displeasure of watching. And this is coming from a group of ladies that watched every single county council meeting for the long 4 years that Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter, and Tony Chmelik were on that board. Cindy really can bring out the worst in people.

#2-Click, Clack, No!

One of our older posts got resurrected this year because people just could not believe that Cindy would complain about Click, Clack, Moo! Sometimes we can’t believe what we see either.

It was ridiculous.

Now for our most popular post of the year:

#1-Who NOT to put on the school board. Your Yokel voter primer!

Thank goodness we kept Cindy and two of her minions off the board, plus the entire 2nd rate hate slate! We are sure we will see some of them back again, but at least we have the next two years to take a nice deep breath!

We wish all of our Local Yokel fans a wonderful holiday season and a peaceful 2023!

Yokel thoughts on the election and a primer for some!

Before we get into the final results we need to address some cray cray we’ve seen regarding the election count. After deliberating at Yokel headquarters for a bit, we are convinced that the main problem is a good portion of Americans don’t understand how elections work. One of our favorite/crazy comments came from someone who stated that she couldn’t understand how Dan Cox won the 1st election and then lost the 2nd. Must be fraud! Not the fact that primary elections are party centered and who wins the primary does not have the assurance of winning the general election! If that were true we would have two winners in the governor race!

The Frederick News Post comments on Facebook are also a real treat. We have some folks positing that since the count is still going on then it must be all the Democrats just harvesting all those fake ballots!

Looks like a good crop this year!

Just because your orange menace ruined mail in voting for you doesn’t mean the rest of us bought into it. Republicans just hate when people are allowed convenient ways to vote, because they know that the more people allowed to vote the harder it is for them to win. NOT FRAUD. This Lady Yokel just got her notification that her mail in ballot was just counted and if these people had their way they would just be fine and dandy with disenfranchising me- Especially Cindy!

Now for the final election results!

Drum Roll please!!!!!

Jessica will be the next County Executive and Renee Knapp and Brad Young will be our At-Large representatives on the next council!

So thankful that we don’t have to worry about Hough and Chemlik, who recently posted conspiracy thoughts about Nancy Pelosi’s husband on his campaign Facebook page, destroying our county!

Mostly good news for our council races.Hopefully Mason will behave himself and grow.

And for the race we’ve been paying the most attention to, the Board of Ed race:

Let’s see if Cindy really means it about this 4th run being her last.

We would have really liked to have seen Ysela make it, and it seems like we’ll have to do another primer about not clicking on the first name if you don’t know who to vote for. But alas, this is what we have to live with for now. At least the January 6th insurrectionist and Cindy didn’t make it!

It’s time for your Lady Yokels to take a bit of a rest. Thank you to all who voted and have been paying attention!

Let’s have a little chat about the At-Large race!

Why do we have to keep talking about this guy?

If you’ve followed us for awhile, you know we’ve said a lot about Tony and his style of governing. We can’t fathom why he’s trying again, but here we are. Let us remind everyone that he lost his last primary as an incumbent to Steve McKay. And instead of accepting the results of that election (sound familiar?), he embarked upon a write in campaign that was very, very unsuccessful. We could go on and on about what a bad choice he would be, but instead we’ll link to our most recent article about him in which we revisit his political past as proof as to why he should not have a political future:

Now let’s move on to Phil Dacey. Remember him, the guy from Picturegate?

Phil wasn’t there, so they just photoshopped him in!

Phil not showing up to meetings is kind of his thing. He missed a lot of meetings when he was on the Board of Alderman and now he’s been missing council meetings. Here at the Yokel we get lots and lots of tips. People send us stuff all the time, and we welcome it. But we only really share things that we verify elsewhere or that people we know for sure are trustworthy tell us. So, Phil got divorced this year. No judgement, we have plenty of divorced friends; this isn’t the 1950s and we aren’t going to shame anyone for a divorce. But there is a part that applies to his duties here. Our source revealed, that Phil has a new squeeze who lives fairly far away (in Canada! How rich is that? A girlfriend in Canada! It almost sounds like we made it up, but we promise you we didn’t), and because of this new relationship he’s frequently out of town and has been zooming into meetings. (Edit: UH-OH we have a contradictory account confirming that he has been present for everything important)

We do sincerely apologize for this misunderstanding. A concern that past behaviors would repeat given current realities was miscommunicated. While that concern is completely understandable, we do not want to be adding to the world’s problems with false information.

Brad Young, on the other hand, is everywhere. Always on a fire truck at a impromptu covid grad party, or wherever he can show up and be seen supporting our community, annnnd He! Shows! Up!

See for yourself:

Candidate Renee Knapp is our other endorsement. She is a special-needs parent originally from Middletown, now living in Adamstown (which is not Canada!). She has a lengthy history of volunteerism with the school system and for the PTA. She has neither a track record of chronic absenteeism, nor a predilection for birth-your-own-militia posturing. If you would like to learn more about a one hundred percent bona fide sane and responsible human being concerned with education, internet expansion (which is truly a critical issue for much of the rural county, especially those who engage in small business endeavors and need reliable online communication) and our local environment, here is a link to the issues page on Ms. Knapp’s candidate website. Click around to explore more!

Breaking down Cindy Rose’s “pornography” claims!

Hey y’all. We are as sick of writing about Cindy as many of you are of hearing about her. However, we would be remiss if we didn’t pay a little more attention to her pornography charges regarding the books she’s demanding be removed from FCPS libraries.

First of all, it’s important to point out that none of these books are part of the curriculum. They are in the library for students who are interested in expanding their knowledge or vocabulary. Two things that this Education Not Indoctrination slate finds very offensive.

Let’s begin by defining pornography by way of the good old Webster’s dictionary:

Definition of pornography

1the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement

2: material (such as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement

Cindy has a lot of trouble with words and their meanings.

ICYMI, click here to read and watch the “performance art” Cindy put on at last week’s meeting. What we are going to do next is delve a little deeper into the two books she claims are pornographic and sexualizing our children. Please keep the above definition in mind.

1st book: Push by Sapphire. (Which was made into the movie Precious). Here’s a review by the Literary Phoenix:

Precious Jones, an illiterate sixteen-year-old, has up until now been invisible: invisible to the father who rapes her and the mother who batters her and to the authorities who dismiss her as just one more of Harlem’s casualties. But when Precious, pregnant with a second child by her father, meets a determined and highly radical teacher, we follow her on a journey of education and enlightenment as Precious learns not only how to write about her life, but how to make it her own for the first time.

What Cindy misconstrues (misconstruing things is her favorite) as pornography is a tragic rape, meant to show the reader real trauma the author endured. It is a terrible experience that she is eventually able to overcome through the help of a teacher. (Maybe this is the part that bothers Cindy? Never mind, she didn’t read it…). It is not, as the definition of pornography above shows, meant to sexually excite, nor is the intent to sexualize children.

2nd Book- Sold by Patricia McCormick. Here’s a summary from the website SparksNotes:

Sold is a contemporary YA novel by American writer Patricia McCormick, published in 2006. Written in short vignettes, Sold tells the story of thirteen-year-old Lakshmi, a poor but happy girl living with her family in a mountain hut in Nepal. When a Himalayan monsoon washes away her family’s crops, Lakshmi must find a job to support her family. On the advice of a stranger, she goes to India to stay at a ‘Happiness House’, but once there finds she has been tricked, and sold into prostitution. Mumtaz, the cruel woman who runs the brothel, tells Lakshmi she is now trapped until she can pay off her family’s debts. Mumtaz finds a way to cheat Lakshmi of even her small earnings, ensuring Lakshmi will be in her service for a long time. Despite the horrors of her life, Lakshmi finds a way to survive through friendships with other girls in the house and the hope that one day she will be able to escape. Sold was a National Book Award Finalist for Young People’s Literature in 2006.

This book is a fictionalized account, based on real stories, of what happens to many girls who are sold into sex slavery in Asia. It also tells the story of a young woman who is able to overcome absolute terror and reclaim her life. Again, this is not the definition of pornography.

So, those of you so shocked by her reading out of context vignettes of these books in an incredibly poor attempt to prove that the school system is offering pornography to kids need to wake up. These books, while graphic, are not pornographic. They are dealing with the very real issues of incest and human trafficking. (Side note: the only time Cindy was inspired to speak out against human trafficking is when it was a part of the Q conspiracies). These are stories of redemption and hope. If you don’t want your high schooler exposed to these books, then pay attention to what they are reading and what they bring home from school. We definitely do not need someone who hasn’t read any of these books AND previously demanded Click Clack Moo not be used in elementary school anywhere near our children.

Book banners suck…always.

Cindy demands hundreds of books be removed from FCPS libraries! By December!

You know we are in trouble when there are handouts!

Chicken Little, AKA Cindy Rose, showed up at Wednesday night’s BOE meeting–with handouts! “What’s on those papers,” you may ask. A list of over 300 books she wants removed. She tells the board that it’s bad enough you’ve taught our kids that gender is a social construct and all the horrible “CRT,” (more commonly recognized by rational people as non ethnocentric history), but now she says the board is sexualizing our children.

Go to this link, navigate to the October 12th Board Meeting, click the Skagit video icon, and skip ahead to 2:30:19 to see this horror show for yourself.

She warns the parents in the room to get their kids out because she’s going to make the most uncomfortable public comment she’s ever made…and she’s made a lot!

Buckle up!

She reads two very sexually graphic passages from two books (she previously mentions that some of the books on her list are unacceptable because they contain vulgar language), one that she claims is in middle school and another that she doesn’t identify the grade level, but it’s high school.(It’s from the book PUSH which is a true story that was made into a major blockbuster.) It’s kind of funny to hear her read this stuff because it is making her squirm.

LOL!

She’s also upset that kids(high schoolers) can read about Jeffrey Dahmer and other things that have happened in real life. She demands that the board remove all 360 books on her list by December. And she will be at the Curriculum and Instruction meeting over library books and they better damn well have an explanation on how each and every book got on that list and what they are going to do make sure that anything that violates Cindy’s sense of morality never makes it to a bookshelf again.

And let us remind you that her sense of morality was violated by this book:

Yes folks, she complained to the school system about Click, Clack, Moo! We are asking that one of board members send us that list!!! Please, please send us that list!

Don’t be fooled by this woman, she found the most alarming passages she could, and then read them out of context just to get everyone all riled up. (I mean this woman needs a job, not on the BOE, but something to keep herself nice and busy!) Just because a book is challenging to her exclusionary white Christian heterosexual world-view does not make it bad.

And this isn’t her first time trying to ban books, read here for more.

We’d like to close with this quote from a column written by a conservative former Republican as food for thought:

“I found breaking with my party to be a painful but liberating experience, and she [Liz Cheney] might, too. Leaving the GOP made me realize how much I missed by looking at the world through a partisan lens. In particular, I was willfully blind to what the Republican Party had become long before Trump came along. The racism, the nativism, the hostility to science, the conspiracy-mongering, the cruelty, the willingness to win at all costs: None of it is new. Trump did not invent these malign trends. He merely accelerated them.”

Cindy is an example of this acceleration. And an accelerant. Don’t let her burn it all down.

The ENIS (Education not Indoctrination Slate): This Sex Type Thing Strikes Again

You may have caught our piece a few weeks back concerning the Nymphs and Satyrs web guy the ENISes are using. He’s someone we think it is prudent to keep a watchful eye on, and he has fleshed out his own site full of content to gawk at. It’s entirely predictable that the ENISes are aligned with his “traditional roles and machismo, the men have the balls and they shall rule the world” agenda. Did we mention that we are acquainted, so this isn’t just supposition? We have had the displeasure of direct exposure to this.

Today the ENISes are sharing Gordo’s personal content because it flatters them. Sort of. They think so, anyway. They actually look pretty insane, per usual, with the continued rambling about the pronouns and whatnot, but when a guy who self-applies the term “gordo” shows them the love (Sir, this is an Arby’s; take your horsey sauce and kindly trot away) they get all amped up and forget to look around and see what exactly it means to be endorsed by a person like this…and that is because this is what they are like, too.

We actually suggest not clicking on this link, or searching for it, lest you inadvertently make it visible via a Google search. As it is now if you do try and find it you will get to Free Stuff to Do and Free STD Testing for days before you will find this with a search engine. After you read some of the quotes you may feel like you need a free test. Icky icky icky.

Here’s an excerpt from the above piece:

Some people in the County say that the ENI slate wants to return FCPS to the days when LGBTQ students were harassed and threatened. From what I saw in school, I’m not sure those days ever existed. When I was at Walkersville Middle in the late 1970s, one of my male classmates wore pom-poms on his skates at its skating parties, and while he was pretty darn swishy, nobody much cared. Later, when I was at WHS, there was an upperclassman whose classmates all knew was gay, but none of them cared. He was accepted as one of the gang.

What? This sounds bananas, and we all know that back when people who are now in their late fifties were in school that there was almost no such thing as an out and accepted gay person. This is 100% clear from the fact that the paragraph above is actually him stereotyping people he perceived as different, and calling a person “swishy” is approaching inventing a new slur.

Also, does having attended Walkersville schools 40ish years ago mean anything with regard to what is going on there today? We know some LGBTQ kiddoes who attend there, and no offense intended to Walkersville, but it is not their personal experience that it’s universally an accepting climate. Maybe if he got off his computer…anyway, you get the drift.

Alas, this is hardly the most abhorrent stuff on that website. In addition to being an expert in none of the things he is writing about, such as “ADHD Doesn’t Exist,” or “Our Misplaced Faith in Pharma,” he waxes poetic about traditional gender roles. This is some mind-blowingly reactionary garbage. And what is really important about all of this is that all of these terrible people who manage to find each other and congeal their like minds into this ENIS movement…this is what they are like. Gross and weird.

In “Traditional Gender Roles are Hot” he talks about hetero couples as the “Breeders.” We are so sorry to continue here, because after you read this you will want to cleanse yourself with hand sanitizer, inside and out:

These days, to see traditional gender roles in full effect, you usually have to venture outside mainstream American culture as defined by the PMC (NB: this is shorthand for professional/managerial class), and take a look at the people it considers deviant: “macho” Latinos, committed Christians, and the kinky. It’s among these people that gender differences are most often acknowledged and celebrated.

In all of these subcultures, couples adhere to traditional gender roles, with the man leading on and off the dance floor, and the woman willingly following his lead. These roles are now catching on in the broader culture, in their more pronounced Dominant/submissive form. Why? Because they’re hot. There’s a reason that over 100 million copies of Fifty Shades of Grey have been sold, which one Frederick woman described this way:

“It wasn’t until I experienced a relationship that encouraged traditional gender roles that I truly found my place and myself. It was so freeing to be able to be feminine in the way I acted, and in the way I presented myself. And if I slipped up, I was lovingly reminded to be my true self—with a warmed up bottom, which always led to a hot time in bed.”

Look, we all know he doesn’t have an elusive girlfriend who no one in Frederick knows because she lives in Canada. He wrote that himself, yes? Also, he deigns to speak for people he has no credibility speaking for, and the words he puts into their mouths don’t really ring true. Just to take a glance at one example: It’s probably going to come as a shock that not all people’s kink is male dominant. Moving along; let’s not delve too deep into that topic in our local mommy blog. It’s terribly sad how trapped he is in his own limited worldview. This incel fantasy goes on in an incredibly insulting and presumptuous manner:

What do super-traditional roles look like? If you see a man in a restaurant ordering for his date while talking with her about her job, or see a woman at a party discussing politics while her man rests a possessive hand on her fanny, you’re getting the picture. More than likely, both couples will have a great time when they get home.

One of the things that is so unnerving about all the ENIses is that they give us the impression they are always thinking about other people’s bedroom lives. Normal people do not spend time thinking about random acquaintances sexual preferences and what they will do when they get home, or their acquaintances’ genitals, or their acquaintances’ kids’ genitals. It’s nasty. It’s creepy. It’s deviant.

One of the things society could stand to work on is a general failure to discuss that there is such a thing as healthy and respectful masculinity. It has allowed bad faith arguments pretending that when people discuss toxic masculinity that people are maligning all masculinity, but let’s keep in mind that “toxic” is an adjective that modifies “masculinity,” which is actually a completely neutral term and neither a criticism nor an exalted state of being. There is no magic about “balls dropping” making men into more competent authorities. Masculinity is just a basic noun. And let’s call that writing what it is. Unhealthy, abusive, toxic masculinity.

We think the ladies doth protest too much!

Oh they certainly do!

We’ve been following local politics, and given our very fine commentary about it, for about 7 1/2 years now. In that time no candidate has ruffled our feathers more than Cindy Rose and the minions she finds to run along side her. Our complaints about her are very well documented in this blog, so we are not going to spend a whole lot of time going down memory lane. For there is of course some fresh new hell to cover.

Cindy and her ilk are very proud of an endorsement from the 1776 Project PAC.

Did the ghosts of George Washington and co. come back to choose school board candidates? Sorry to tell you ladies, but women aren’t allowed in politics according to them!

Well, of course we had to look into this organization! And yes, it’s a horror show. Just look at what happens when you click on their website:

WOW! Before they even let you see what they are about, they have a reporting mechanism for ratting out schools for teaching accurate history (since no K-12 schools are teaching critical race theory, we must suppose that truth in education is really what they are opposed to)!

It gets worse, because of course it does:

None of this makes any sense..nor is it true.

Well, they could have left it at that. But their one failed candidate, who is now their communications director, (stop laughing people!) put this out…FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

What these people don’t know could fill the universe!

We unfortunately have too many examples of racism in FCPS. It exists, and the people who say it doesn’t exist are either: a. willfully ignorant or b. have racist beliefs that they are unwilling to acknowledge or work on themselves. We pick b.

Today we unfortunately have yet another example of this problem in FCPS:

There’s a lot of good literature out there that discusses why white people don’t want to acknowledge or discuss issues of race. We’ll delve a little into here, with the caveat that we aren’t experts, but we are white people who are trying to be better.

When some white people hear the word racist they conjure up an image of a Ku Klux Klan member who calls POC terrible names and sometimes, or maybe often, resorts to violence. Therefore, when some white people are called racist they immediately reject that label, because of course they don’t believe they are on the same level as a member of the Klan. Unfortunately, any chance of a productive conversation is shut down; denials of whatever just happened pooh-pooh away a real problem as though a POC is just overreacting or misconstruing what was actually meant. This is where white people need to change, and it isn’t the responsibility of POC to lead us down this path. We need to examine our biases. We need to think about what we learned in school as children, the TV shows, movies, and books we were exposed to that helped shaped our world view. We need to think about the stereotypes and prejudices that were passed down to us from our parents and our grandparents and then we need to be BETTER.

We wrote a little bit about Critical Race Theory and schools, so we aren’t going to rehash all that again. But we will say this: the way history was taught to many of us as children has not served us well. Many of us don’t understand the past, won’t acknowledge the power structures in this country, and as a result, are causing real harm to adults and children in our community. Of course what happened 300, 200, 100 years ago isn’t the fault of anyone alive today. What is our fault is not acknowledging the harm that our past has brought upon others, and how our past has shaped our present.

So to Cindy and her little hate slate that wants to sit on our school board and pretend that racism isn’t a thing around here we say:

And don’t get back up until you are ready to be a god damn adult!