Click, Clack, NO!

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That’s what we would like to know Bessie!

In today’s edition of the Frederick News Post is a brilliant letter about how unfit Cindy Rose is for a seat on the BoE. The letter writer not only lamented Cindy’s position on transgender people, but the fact that she’s unable to take any criticism on her Facebook pages, and therefore deletes and blocks opinions that differ from her own.We previously discussed, in Part Uno of our Cindy Rose field guide, her call to action to ban the award-winning children’s book Click, Clack, Moo. In case you missed it take a looky:Screen Shot 2018-07-08 at 12.30.55 PMIf you haven’t read the book, and Cindy obviously has not, it is not teaching kids to have a temper tantrum to get what they want. The plot of the story is as follows: The cows are very cold at night and since they cannot speak English, they type a letter to the farmer asking for some electric blankets. The farmer becomes enraged and refuses. The cows then talk to the chickens, who are also very cold at night, and they also ask for blankets. The farmer again refuses, and in return the cows refuse to give the farmer the milk produced from their bodies and the chickens refuse to relinquish the eggs they laid! The cows send another letter saying that they will relinquish the typewriter in return for the blankets, to which the farmer agrees. Can you imagine the horror of teaching your children speak up for themselves when they are cold? What kind of world are we living in anyway? Cindy also wants to know if the counterpoint is being read to the poor defenseless children?

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Take note that she turned off the commenting for this post! Guess she didn’t want to hear any other sides!

Let us just imagine the counter point to this for a moment. What could possibly be the alternative to the cows and chickens not getting their blankets?

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So many shades of wrong!

We contacted the author via Facebook about this and she was taken aback!  Her exact words after reading the above diatribe from Cindy were, “Wow…that’s a very interesting position! Only in today’s environment can typing cows become political.” Isn’t it horrible how Cindy is perverting the message of this book for her own political agenda? And lest you think this is the first time she’s advocated to remove books she hasn’t even bothered to read, check out these PIA requested emails that showed up during last election season:Screen Shot 2018-07-08 at 3.22.26 PMScreen Shot 2018-07-08 at 3.22.36 PMScreen Shot 2018-07-08 at 3.22.44 PMWe know it’s summer and you want to relax, hell so do we, but there will be no relaxing if Cindy gets on the board. We all know too well what can happen when we get complacent. Forward this, and anything else you’ve seen about her, to every Frederick voter you know. This is an easy problem to solve. #localelectionsmatter!

A Field Guide to Cindy Rose-Part Uno

Some examples of “civility” from a woman aspiring to be elected to the Frederick County Board of Education who calls progressives “vile creatures.” We’re going to go on here a bit about her temperament, using a few visual aids of her own creation (which she refers to as bullying), but perhaps the most important information is found in the link at the end of this post. More information on school shooting victim blaming here.

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The liberals made this asshole put on a MAGA hat and shoot up the school, yes? Is that what we are to understand. Color us skeptical, maybe.

Dangerous to civil society! Speaking of mean and nasty…

Sometimes we do agree with Cindy Rose, like when school testing seems stupid. And also now. We can just hold a mirror up! Who knew she was a Snoop fan?

More details on Fuck Your Feelings style civility here.

Fuck Your Feelings Bonus Material…from the 2016 Campaign of Cindy “Jason Voorhees” Rose.

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It does seem exciting to have a BOE candidate who is guaranteeing to always be uncivil, doesn’t it?

Here’s a group including Cindy Rose working out the math on why teachers (also part of the county-pertinent discussion were county sheriffs’ deputies and city police) would want to learn to spot the signs that their students may be human trafficking victims–some kind of pyramid scheme to enrich themselves, obvi. If you would like to learn more about this delusional fiction, have a link.

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Here is Cindy sharing a “right wing intellectual” who espouses something called mandatory monogamy, which sounds medieval at best.

Would she bring his ideas into sex education in Frederick County? “You picked. No backsies. Too bad he’s abusive!” Etc. Gah. What is the appeal here?!



*(As an aside, we will mention that the post there discusses our preferences in the primary election. Times change–we support Trone for Congress. For reasons of requiring numbers in the House to hold recklessness accountable, exclusively. Civic duty. Uphold whatever vestige we can retain of norms of government at this point, etc.)

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum, y’all.

Speaking of dystopian fiction:

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Holy moly. Do you have so little to do that you have to invent problems to complain about? That’s a rhetorical question. The answer, we know, is yes.

 

Many of us read Click, Clack, Moo: Cows that Type, and thought it was a funny book to entertain little kids. The farmer was mean and didn’t let the cold cows have blankets, so they quit making milk and started typing complaints. Does Cindy know that cows cannot type? This is not a nonfiction book! This is not even realistic fiction! It fails to address the most basic concerns, such as if your cows die of hypothermia, will you still get milk? Most of your Yokel Staff got a free copy included with a child’s meal at the Original Fredneck Chick-Fil-A, which is pretty funny. Which is it? “We love Truett Cathy Right Wing Dreamboat the mostest or we hate collective bargaining?” Pick now or forever hold your peace.

And now, for “the link at the end of this post,” The Real Witch Hunt.

Some of the material in there goes right along with her role as firefighter from Fahrenheit 451.

Cindy Rose is the firefighter from Fahrenheit 451

Yokel thoughts on the election.

First of all, WOW…just WOW! The three that we write most about (Kirby, Billy, and Tony) couldn’t muster up enough votes among their own party to make it to the general election. I guess it wasn’t just us! Billy really got his backside handed to him:

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Holy moly macaroni!

And the other two, who at least didn’t get trounced quite as badly:

But, still lost. We’ve been asked what we are going to do without these three to write about. And our answer to that is:

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For we care more about this county being governed by capable people than having material for the blog. Plus, there will always be SOMEONE.

We’ve been looking around the interwebs and have seen that many, many Republicans are super upset about Afzali snagging the nomination. We even saw this proclamation from Cindy:

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Most of those upset (including Cindy; so much for mean what you say and say what you mean…oh wait, she’s just mean) are now advocating for Earl Robbins’ Independent campaign, so you can imagine how that’s all going to work out. Please proceed. Cindy and Blaine are amongst those who have already come out to support him. He must be pleased to receive the Silver Linings Playbook Slate endorsement. The infighting/betrayals of this county party are really a sight to behold, folks!

And yes, Cindy made it through to 6th place out of 8th in the BOE race.  Even she knows that it almost insurmountable. And if you know anyone who is confused about how to vote in the general election, you can find ample evidence online to share with them. Be forewarned: she considers it “bullying” when you cite her own words, er…uh, her own madness against her. Take heart that she received about 1/2 the votes she did last time, so we aren’t too worried. NONE of her slate made it, so thankfully we don’t have to draw your attention to any of them any longer.

More good news:

 

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Galen Clagett came in last, showing that he wasn’t able to fool enough people into thinking he was some kind of Progressive Democrat!

Let’s all enjoy walking on cloud 9 today. We will regroup to prep for November very soon. Whoo hoo!

 

It seems like a great time to be callous about separating kids from their parents!

It’s hard to believe that people are anything but outraged by children being taken from their parents. We here at the Yokel have been sick over it. We all have little ones and cannot imagine what these people are going through. If you are thinking, “Well, it’s their parents fault,” or “Obama did it too,” go away now! We are done with the likes of you!

Even though Trump has finally signed an Executive Order to overturn his very own policy, which he insisted he wasn’t able to do because it was a Democratic law, the question remains as to when the already separated children will be reunited with their parents. That’s the only thing anyone with a heart should be worried about.

However….we live in a crazy world. And we have some people running for office who have some interesting interpretations of what we should be worried about instead of the obvious.

Something is disgusting all right! If she would have taken half a second to fact check this picture she would have found out it was taken at a protest about children being held in cages, not someone staging a picture of kids being held in cages.

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Because there are plenty of real pictures of that. But, that’s not what this BOE candidate wants us to focus on is it? By posting this she’s insinuating that this whole story isn’t true. Snopes is your friend, Cindy. If you can’t bother to check the validity of a simple picture how can we possibly trust you to make fact-based decisions concerning our children’s education?

On that note, go ahead and jump over to her Local Control Facebook page, because there are some real heroes interacting with her and Seth!

 

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How does Kirby feel about all this hullabaloo? Take a look:

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Hey folks! Why are we spending so much time focusing on the deep psychological scars that these separated kids will endure when we can engage in some deceiving whataboutism?

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Don’t fall for it Mittens!

There are no sanctuary policies  letting criminals out of jail. That is just a lie. Just like all the lies his Dear Leader tells. We just love how both he and Jenkins love to use MS-13 and illegal immigrants in the same breath in order to associate them together as one. Ain’t that clever? Go ahead and read up on MS-13, yes they are bad, but you may learn a thing or two. Like they are an American born gang, their victims are most likely to be other gang members, and illegal immigrants actually commit less crimes than native born people. We’ll stick to talking about Trump’s immigration policies thank you very much.

#localelectionsmatter!

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It’s the final countdown!!!! All the fun of the 2018 primary election!

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In just four short days Frederick County residents can begin voting in this year’s primary election. We know, like us, many of y’all are busy ending the school year, but this stuff is important. Especially since we recently heard someone utter these words: Who is Cindy Rose? Sigh. We sometimes get lost in our own little world where we think everyone pays as much attention to these issues as we do!

In today’s edition of the FNP there is a Frederick County Voter Information Guide. This guide was put together with the esteemed League of Women Voters of Frederick County (LWV). You can view this guide in one of three ways:  a.) get the print edition of the FNP  b.) buy a subscription so you can view the online e-pages or c.) go to the LWV’s page. Let’s take a diversion and remind y’all the importance of having a local paper. No matter how you feel about the FNP (REMINDER: THE EDITORIAL PAGE IS SUPPOSED TO REFLECT SOMEONE’S OPINION!), it’s very important that we keep this paper. Where are we going to get all of our local information from if it disappears? (As much as we love  those of you who shouted out Local Yokel, we are not journalists!) The WaPo and Baltimore Sun do not care about Shrelauter! So, if you don’t have a subscription, please consider getting one.

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We sympathize. However, not paying attention is no longer an option!

There is a section on FNP’s website that has a different questionnaire than what is in the paper or you can go to the LWV’s 411 site ( this is also an excellent organization to join!) which does have what is in the paper, however, it’s not as fun as having it all laid out before you in one section.  Here’s a taste to encourage you to get a subscription:

-There’s a whole list of people who couldn’t bother to get their answers in on time:

-Danny Farrar

-Galen Clagett

-Tony Chmelik

-Craig Giangrande

-Michael Bowersox

-James Dvorak

-Barrie S. Ciliberti

-William Folden

-Seth Eisenberg

-Chaz Packan

-Kirby has a very interesting solution to the opioid crisis:

 A lot of our issues are that we have such a high tax system in the county that two parents have to work in order to make ends meet. This leave kids vulnerable after school and during summer months to not have the parental guidance during those hours when both parents are working. The Executive creates the budget so if we can make the county more affordable, one parent can stay home.

So taxes and women not staying home are the reason for the crisis!!! We all know that the “parent” he wants to stay home is mom, because of his past behavior on this issue. 

-Cindy tries to act reasonable, and even quotes MLK in her answer! She also points out the difference between the progressives and conservatives:

It’s not non-partisan. Since education is overly politicized at this time, it’s important to know the politics of any Board of Education candidate. Progressive Democrats seem overly concerned with social learning and pouring more money into education without knowing if it will help. Conservative Republicans seem concerned over academic content and want an itemization of every penny.

 

-And for a good chuckle, read this quote concerning his record on education from ole Billy:

I have proven Education is a priority. I put Wi-Fi in every school & started adding computers to the classrooms. I funded the extra bathrooms at Urbana Elementary School. Led the site selection committee for the new Sugarloaf Elementary School & had the site donated & Funded. North Frederick ES was built, Frederick HS built, plus Butterfly Ridge Funded & started. Added extra security to schools

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Can you believe this guy!!??

Seriously folks, you need to talk to your neighbors, friends, co-workers, or some guy walking down the street. While a voter’s guide is a good resource, it doesn’t go into past behavior. And the past behavior of people like Kirby, Billy, and Cindy are very important when considering what they may do to our fine county in the future. You know what they say:

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9 more days until voting starts! What’s been going on around here anyway?

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Sorry, Tiger, hopefully everyone who can vote will!

We’ve been talking about how to go about showing our gentle readers all that’s been going on around here lately. Honestly, it’s next to impossible. Therefore, in preparation for the primary election we are going to show you as much as we can about what we’ve found in recent days. Let’s start with Kirby and this “Guess Who?” meme:

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Ah, first of all the only candidate who has received any benefits is the only one that has been elected to the office. So, how can it possibly be all of them? That makes zero sense. Let’s delve a little deeper into this though. Do we really expect people who work full-time in a political office not to be compensated for their work? Or, perhaps Kirby is one of those elitists we keep hearing about that believes that only those who are independently wealthy should hold political office. Guess who else has worked close to 8 years as a politician? That’s right Kirby. And he wants 4 more!

We can’t point out Kirby without taking a look at the other half of the Shrelauter equation: Billy! There honestly isn’t much to say. He hasn’t put out any signs. He did answer the FNP’s questions in which he claimed to have solved the opioid epidemic. But, besides that we’ll let the likes on his Billy for Senator Facebook page speak for themselves:

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#SAD

Now on to the BOE race. Seth Eisenberg has been a constant source of amusement for us these past few months. From his freaking out over every bad piece of press he gets, his car-side chats, and his claim to be running because of his son even though his son does not attend an FCPS school, there are days that we don’t even know where to begin with this guy. Here’s a good view into his candidacy.  This is his answer to a testing question put forth by the FNP:

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What is with him and Kirby and the double negatives? Well, we give this guy a triple negative endorsement! How do you like them apples?

And you know we have to mention Cindy…again. Even though we’ve done it a million times over, we need to make sure that everyone knows what a terrible choice she would be for our BOE.  If this lady had just stuck to over-testing, we may have had some common ground. But alas! We’ll leave you some of our favorite, more recent, posts we’ve seen her make:

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The Wonkette, one of our favorite blogs, did a couple of great pieces about him a few weeks back. If you missed the New York Times article about this fella, take a gander. He believes not only in the patriarchy, but that women should be in enforced monogamy with men! Why, you ask? Well, if not men will become violent, like all those disgusting incels you’ve been hearing about lately. And who is to blame? The man? No, no, no! According to Jordan Peterson women are!

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Sanctity?  When is she going to leave the transgender population alone?

And, let’s not forget the other two that have hitched their wagons to the aforementioned:

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You are the company you keep fellas! Wait, I thought they weren’t a slate!

We don’t rubber stamp every Democrat that comes down the line, nor do we rally against every Republican (Vote Steve McKay in District 2 if you are voting in the Republican primary!) Click here and here to read what we think about Galen Clagett.

This morning we were alerted to a story about congressional contender David Trone and his efforts to get the African American vote in A Miner Detail. Read it all here, but pay special attention to this excerpt that has to do with trying to recruit two Frederick City Aldermen to his campaign:

On Shackelford, Trone writes, “he is the easy fruit.”

“I don’t want to use him right away. I want to use Roger Wilson because we have to bring him out and get him to support us openly and that will send other messages to the black community because he represents in absentia Jan Gardner in the county government and he has his own strong network of people than Derek who has been to my house and been great doesn’t have [sic].”

Trone continued, “After we run Roger down and get as much help from him as we can get, then we will talk about when to shift over to Derek.”

Trone does not have the backing of your Lady Yokels.

We know there are more candidates that we need to bring attention to, but this is all we have the time and energy for today. If you know of any other stories that need to be shown the light of day, do not hesitate to put them in the comments for all to see!

Who’s in need of some remedial Constitution history today?

Top of the morning to ya, Yokels! We are all so hopeful that we will only have to bring this nonsense to you for one more month, since we are super optimistic that the two we are about to discuss will lose their primaries and slink out of the public eye forever. Until that time we must point out how unqualified they are to hold public office in our fine county.

Let us begin with three-time school board contender Cindy Rose. If you go back a couple of years and look at the PIA dump someone published from the last election, you will see that she often laments that the school system doesn’t celebrate Constitution Day. In this post she equates the unfairness of celebrating Earth Day, but not the Constitution, while adding in an interesting twist:

Screen Shot 2018-05-05 at 8.57.38 AMUMMM, their Creator?!?! Does she think the U.S. Constitution was written by the Almighty himself? Sounds like someone could have used Constitution Day herself!! So, we are supposed to erroneously teach our students that “their Creator” bequeathed the Constitution to the American people, but celebrating Mother Earth is some kind of liberal social/environmental justice that needs to end? Was the Lord/Zeus/Allah partial to bicameral legislatures, checks and balances, the 3/5th’s clause? Who knew?!

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Not one of them, including God!

Is this the kind of thinking we want on our school board?

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We’re all going to die if the school system doesn’t teach the Constitution was written by the Almighty!

Yesterday we shared the story the FNP wrote on Kirby’s gun raffle on our Facebook page. He broke the record for using the term “2nd amendment” in a sentence! Then, his campaign manager took to Facebook to lament that anyone had the nerve to ask him about this gun raffle to begin with!

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How dare Kirby be asked his personal opinion! What’s wrong with all you liberal reporters expecting Kirby to explain something he’s actually doing? Oh, and love the old NRA car analogy. What’s the purpose of a car again? What’s the purpose of a gun? How are they the same?

Don’t forget to vote in the primary June 26th! #localelectionsmatter!