Shall we send the truant officer to investigate?

So Delta Sigma Theta Sorority and the League of Women Voters co-hosted a forum for the Frederick County Board of Education candidates, and guess who did not show up. Cindy Rose and April Miller.

If you aren’t familiar with LWV, you should be. They are a non-partisan group that focuses on voter education. As you can imagine a nonpartisan group focusing on voter education would be a terrifying thing for anyone to involve themselves with. Especially people who are allegedly interested in education within this community. These are the sights, sounds, and smells of people who know that they have nothing to offer that stands on any merit in the marketplace of ideas, folks.

And we weren’t previously familiar with Delta Sigma Theta, but this sounds like a great organization. College-educated women dedicated to public service with an emphasis on programs that target the African American community. So, double whammy for blowing all of these great ladies off.

More about League of Women Voters: they publish the handy dandy voter guide, and what they do to accomplish that is give a series of questions to candidates and let them respond to those questions in their very own words. Then they publish those words–just what the candidate says about his or her own self–on their website. When you visit the website, it asks for your address, and then you get to choose candidates to compare for races specific to your totally address specific voting conditions. It is super cool. It is extraordinarily helpful for local races that are not covered on CNN’s traveling circus of idiot opinions or Fox News grotesque Trump petting freakshow.

The site is called vote411.org. You should use it, and you should share it with your friends, far and wide. The more people who are informed and vote, the better off and healthier our democracy is. The more people who are informed and vote in our local elections, the better off and healthier our community is. PSA: Do not vote for Cindy Rose. Just don’t do it. We have an extensive body of work detailing this, and we will be happy to refer you there.

And when you get informed about the local community, one thing you definitely should not miss is that the Mayor of Ye Olde Fredericktowne and the City of Frederick have nada nothing nyet nichts to do with funding the local school system, which is called the Frederick COUNTY Public School System for one weird reason. If you plan to vote for Kim Williams, you may wish to consider waiting for the City Board of Ed race. Good luck with that, y’all.

In other local and voting matters, we have not heard about any crazy voter suppression shenanigans around here, but you should know (and again, tell all your friends, wherever they may be) that you can check your voter registration status here. For whatever it is worth, it’s a fair point to say that every vote does matter, and if it didn’t there would not be parts of the country where people are trying to make sure they make it difficult for as many individuals as they can to be heard from at the polls.

And stick with us here for one last thing. This is very important. Know it, share it: if you show up at your polling place and are told that your name is not on the rolls, demand a provisional ballot. Even if you show up at the wrong polling place, casting a provisional ballot with an affidavit is your right.

When you only see the world in pink and blue!

It’s the first day of school, and we need to get back to concentrating on this election! Keep your eyes and ears open for forums, debates, newspaper profiles, and other meet and greets so you can get a feel for what each candidate stands for.

Let’s talk a minute about the school board election. The PTA is holding a forum on October 9th, and all but one candidate has sent in their RSVP. Can y’all guess who that may be?

 

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Oh Dear!

We decided to look around the internet and we see that she started yet another Facebook page that has managed to garner 6 whole likes! Is she really even trying? We were comforted to see that she’s sticking to her main talking points when it comes to our transgender kids:

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End of discussion y’all!!!! We love that someone tried to push back, but NO! Cindy only sees the world in blue and pink!

SIDE NOTE: Don’t tell Cindy, but until fairly recently pink was considered to be more a boy color and blue was seen as a girl’s!

Anyhoo, she’s also not happy that Colin Kaepernick is going to be the next spokesperson for Nike. How dare he not be punished for the rest of his natural born life?!

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We will be looking forward to what all of our other school board candidates have to say! Happy First Day of School everyone!!!!

 

TFW the local Republicans go cannibal

You are definitely going to want to see this. Team Hogan Frederick County Edition has emerged, and since Team Hogan is code for Team Afzali (*actual Hogan endorsements ambiguous) a brouhaha has ensued on the Republican Club of Frederick County page. The principal players are One Potted Plant Enthusiast, Area Woman, #KirbyDelauter, and Our Least Favorite School Board Candidate in History (et. al. aspiring BOE idiots). All have gone Full Donner Party, and they aren’t going to wait for anyone to get cold before they roll up to the all day cray cray buffet.

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Although this post is principally about the epic mudslinging going on on the Republican Club of Frederick County’s page…(there are two, because of course there are; when you look at this hot mess it appears that soon each Republican will need their very own club, because otherwise they would be part of a slate that no one can tolerate)…anyway, we would be remiss if we didn’t wonder how to freeze taxes and fix infrastructure. Like that’s free. That sounds like some GWB nonsense. How “fiscally conservative” of them.

Here are some of the beautiful things that are going on for all the world to see. We can start with this announcement of our intentions:

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yah. That’s the idea.

Cindy Rose adamantly refuses to vote for Afzali and maligns anyone who appears with her as having the stench of Afzali on them. There is a mighty feud between Cindy Rose and Mary Posey on this point, because Mary Posey understands how politics works, and the bulk of these other people seemingly do not. They take Mrs. Posey’s superior comprehension personally. Dummies gonna dumb, yo.

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In Afzali’s defense (gag), it would be so easy to have a personal problem with someone who has a personal problem with everyone, and who now refuses to compromise during an election because she has a personal problem. #irony
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Guess who we specifically would not trust on the little things? If you think it is someone who didn’t take the time to read a picture book with about 45 words in it to discern whether or not it is socialist propaganda before spouting off about it, step up and collect your prize!

Kirby blames Chuck Jenkins for Afzali’s win. ICYMI Jenkins and Afzali have a difficult history, which is also fun. These people must have the best parties. Like the Palins in the neighbor’s driveway…

 

Kirby blasting off at Jenkins is the most fun we’ve had in years.

 

This dramedy between Jill King (failed aldermanic candidate from days of yore) and Seth Eisenberg (failed BOE candidate and supermoron) goes on for awhile, mostly a lot of the same. None of it surprising.

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Then Jill King deigns to take up the mantle of Miss Manners, and Seth Eisenberg may be a total jerk, but he isn’t wrong about the figurative running of her mouth online. So that’s too funny.

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Not really the main idea, but who is Fred Propheter’s ideal conservative?! Yikes. Incidentally, Jill is correct, they are crazy to behave like this, but please proceed, right? There’s a field day to be had.

Boy howdy. Nothing like an intramural butthurt festival to get the Local Yokel Correspondents popping our popcorn. Incidentally, we hate that word, but it always seems to be a favorite maneuver in any Frederick County Republican Online Catfight. The County Council Watch Membership has some sort of butthurt identification service, apparently, because it comes up a lot. Either that or they are as emotionally mature as the average twelve year old.

Kirby calls Mary Posey a “POS.”

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We’re always surprised when we see Mary Posey’s perspective. We thought she was wacky when it seemed like Bud Otis’s moderate politics were a personal affront, speaking of taking things personally. But today is a different day. Wow.

Oh! And then there is this! Different space, but on the same topic of cannibalism, Kirby endorses Kai Hagen over Danny Farrar! The one endorsement Kai may have preferred to skip. But oh well, right? We will all hope to see more of Kirby’s Epic Sour Grapes. Election 2018 is going to be more fun than we had hoped for!

 

 

Click, Clack, NO!

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That’s what we would like to know Bessie!

In today’s edition of the Frederick News Post is a brilliant letter about how unfit Cindy Rose is for a seat on the BoE. The letter writer not only lamented Cindy’s position on transgender people, but the fact that she’s unable to take any criticism on her Facebook pages, and therefore deletes and blocks opinions that differ from her own.We previously discussed, in Part Uno of our Cindy Rose field guide, her call to action to ban the award-winning children’s book Click, Clack, Moo. In case you missed it take a looky:Screen Shot 2018-07-08 at 12.30.55 PMIf you haven’t read the book, and Cindy obviously has not, it is not teaching kids to have a temper tantrum to get what they want. The plot of the story is as follows: The cows are very cold at night and since they cannot speak English, they type a letter to the farmer asking for some electric blankets. The farmer becomes enraged and refuses. The cows then talk to the chickens, who are also very cold at night, and they also ask for blankets. The farmer again refuses, and in return the cows refuse to give the farmer the milk produced from their bodies and the chickens refuse to relinquish the eggs they laid! The cows send another letter saying that they will relinquish the typewriter in return for the blankets, to which the farmer agrees. Can you imagine the horror of teaching your children speak up for themselves when they are cold? What kind of world are we living in anyway? Cindy also wants to know if the counterpoint is being read to the poor defenseless children?

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Take note that she turned off the commenting for this post! Guess she didn’t want to hear any other sides!

Let us just imagine the counter point to this for a moment. What could possibly be the alternative to the cows and chickens not getting their blankets?

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So many shades of wrong!

We contacted the author via Facebook about this and she was taken aback!  Her exact words after reading the above diatribe from Cindy were, “Wow…that’s a very interesting position! Only in today’s environment can typing cows become political.” Isn’t it horrible how Cindy is perverting the message of this book for her own political agenda? And lest you think this is the first time she’s advocated to remove books she hasn’t even bothered to read, check out these PIA requested emails that showed up during last election season:Screen Shot 2018-07-08 at 3.22.26 PMScreen Shot 2018-07-08 at 3.22.36 PMScreen Shot 2018-07-08 at 3.22.44 PMWe know it’s summer and you want to relax, hell so do we, but there will be no relaxing if Cindy gets on the board. We all know too well what can happen when we get complacent. Forward this, and anything else you’ve seen about her, to every Frederick voter you know. This is an easy problem to solve. #localelectionsmatter!

A Field Guide to Cindy Rose-Part Uno

Some examples of “civility” from a woman aspiring to be elected to the Frederick County Board of Education who calls progressives “vile creatures.” We’re going to go on here a bit about her temperament, using a few visual aids of her own creation (which she refers to as bullying), but perhaps the most important information is found in the link at the end of this post. More information on school shooting victim blaming here.

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The liberals made this asshole put on a MAGA hat and shoot up the school, yes? Is that what we are to understand. Color us skeptical, maybe.

Dangerous to civil society! Speaking of mean and nasty…

Sometimes we do agree with Cindy Rose, like when school testing seems stupid. And also now. We can just hold a mirror up! Who knew she was a Snoop fan?

More details on Fuck Your Feelings style civility here.

Fuck Your Feelings Bonus Material…from the 2016 Campaign of Cindy “Jason Voorhees” Rose.

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It does seem exciting to have a BOE candidate who is guaranteeing to always be uncivil, doesn’t it?

Here’s a group including Cindy Rose working out the math on why teachers (also part of the county-pertinent discussion were county sheriffs’ deputies and city police) would want to learn to spot the signs that their students may be human trafficking victims–some kind of pyramid scheme to enrich themselves, obvi. If you would like to learn more about this delusional fiction, have a link.

human trafficking pyramid scheme

Here is Cindy sharing a “right wing intellectual” who espouses something called mandatory monogamy, which sounds medieval at best.

Would she bring his ideas into sex education in Frederick County? “You picked. No backsies. Too bad he’s abusive!” Etc. Gah. What is the appeal here?!



*(As an aside, we will mention that the post there discusses our preferences in the primary election. Times change–we support Trone for Congress. For reasons of requiring numbers in the House to hold recklessness accountable, exclusively. Civic duty. Uphold whatever vestige we can retain of norms of government at this point, etc.)

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum, y’all.

Speaking of dystopian fiction:

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Holy moly. Do you have so little to do that you have to invent problems to complain about? That’s a rhetorical question. The answer, we know, is yes.

 

Many of us read Click, Clack, Moo: Cows that Type, and thought it was a funny book to entertain little kids. The farmer was mean and didn’t let the cold cows have blankets, so they quit making milk and started typing complaints. Does Cindy know that cows cannot type? This is not a nonfiction book! This is not even realistic fiction! It fails to address the most basic concerns, such as if your cows die of hypothermia, will you still get milk? Most of your Yokel Staff got a free copy included with a child’s meal at the Original Fredneck Chick-Fil-A, which is pretty funny. Which is it? “We love Truett Cathy Right Wing Dreamboat the mostest or we hate collective bargaining?” Pick now or forever hold your peace.

And now, for “the link at the end of this post,” The Real Witch Hunt.

Some of the material in there goes right along with her role as firefighter from Fahrenheit 451.

Cindy Rose is the firefighter from Fahrenheit 451

Yokel thoughts on the election.

First of all, WOW…just WOW! The three that we write most about (Kirby, Billy, and Tony) couldn’t muster up enough votes among their own party to make it to the general election. I guess it wasn’t just us! Billy really got his backside handed to him:

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Holy moly macaroni!

And the other two, who at least didn’t get trounced quite as badly:

But, still lost. We’ve been asked what we are going to do without these three to write about. And our answer to that is:

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For we care more about this county being governed by capable people than having material for the blog. Plus, there will always be SOMEONE.

We’ve been looking around the interwebs and have seen that many, many Republicans are super upset about Afzali snagging the nomination. We even saw this proclamation from Cindy:

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Most of those upset (including Cindy; so much for mean what you say and say what you mean…oh wait, she’s just mean) are now advocating for Earl Robbins’ Independent campaign, so you can imagine how that’s all going to work out. Please proceed. Cindy and Blaine are amongst those who have already come out to support him. He must be pleased to receive the Silver Linings Playbook Slate endorsement. The infighting/betrayals of this county party are really a sight to behold, folks!

And yes, Cindy made it through to 6th place out of 8th in the BOE race.  Even she knows that it almost insurmountable. And if you know anyone who is confused about how to vote in the general election, you can find ample evidence online to share with them. Be forewarned: she considers it “bullying” when you cite her own words, er…uh, her own madness against her. Take heart that she received about 1/2 the votes she did last time, so we aren’t too worried. NONE of her slate made it, so thankfully we don’t have to draw your attention to any of them any longer.

More good news:

 

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Galen Clagett came in last, showing that he wasn’t able to fool enough people into thinking he was some kind of Progressive Democrat!

Let’s all enjoy walking on cloud 9 today. We will regroup to prep for November very soon. Whoo hoo!

 

It seems like a great time to be callous about separating kids from their parents!

It’s hard to believe that people are anything but outraged by children being taken from their parents. We here at the Yokel have been sick over it. We all have little ones and cannot imagine what these people are going through. If you are thinking, “Well, it’s their parents fault,” or “Obama did it too,” go away now! We are done with the likes of you!

Even though Trump has finally signed an Executive Order to overturn his very own policy, which he insisted he wasn’t able to do because it was a Democratic law, the question remains as to when the already separated children will be reunited with their parents. That’s the only thing anyone with a heart should be worried about.

However….we live in a crazy world. And we have some people running for office who have some interesting interpretations of what we should be worried about instead of the obvious.

Something is disgusting all right! If she would have taken half a second to fact check this picture she would have found out it was taken at a protest about children being held in cages, not someone staging a picture of kids being held in cages.

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Because there are plenty of real pictures of that. But, that’s not what this BOE candidate wants us to focus on is it? By posting this she’s insinuating that this whole story isn’t true. Snopes is your friend, Cindy. If you can’t bother to check the validity of a simple picture how can we possibly trust you to make fact-based decisions concerning our children’s education?

On that note, go ahead and jump over to her Local Control Facebook page, because there are some real heroes interacting with her and Seth!

 

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How does Kirby feel about all this hullabaloo? Take a look:

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Hey folks! Why are we spending so much time focusing on the deep psychological scars that these separated kids will endure when we can engage in some deceiving whataboutism?

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Don’t fall for it Mittens!

There are no sanctuary policies  letting criminals out of jail. That is just a lie. Just like all the lies his Dear Leader tells. We just love how both he and Jenkins love to use MS-13 and illegal immigrants in the same breath in order to associate them together as one. Ain’t that clever? Go ahead and read up on MS-13, yes they are bad, but you may learn a thing or two. Like they are an American born gang, their victims are most likely to be other gang members, and illegal immigrants actually commit less crimes than native born people. We’ll stick to talking about Trump’s immigration policies thank you very much.

#localelectionsmatter!

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