Seth Eisenberg – frederick local yokel

TFW they’re still doing it: squeeeeee the local Republican autodefenestrations continue!

October 23, 2018 fclocalyokel3 Comments

Kirby Delauter’s Facebook page has it all. Man these people are excellent at making themselves look insane on social media. This would be a good time to remind everyone not to vote for Cindy “F Your Feelings” Rose.

This is only the beginning. It goes on and on…and on…and on…

Honestly, there is so much packed into this Mexican standoff, it is hard to limit ourselves. It’s a public post on Kirby’s page, if you’d like to do your own rubbernecking.

Danny Farrar immediately rebuts, in a post approximately as long as that horrible David Foster Wallace novel that we have mercifully forgotten the title of, and things go downhill from there.

You mean to write, “…only Kathy and me…” Oh toss it all, we aren’t going to start editing for another one of these dingbats.

You can see how the factions are aligning. It’s a shame, really, that Danny (according to some people we know) used to slobber all over Billy and Kirby at SoldierFit, to the point that the egregious sycophancy caused them to discontinue patronizing Danny’s business and NOW LOOK! Was it worth it?! Now he’s in a big, undignified “you throw all your friends under the bus” spat with him. And Danny is sure not wrong here, but…this is also as undignified as a Young Family Facebook Reunion.

Is he questioning Kirby’s manhood? It kinda seems like he is questioning Kirby’s manhood…lol, we approve of this. Still, don’t vote for Danny Farrar. We have candidates who can discern a low IQ when they see it. I mean, only one of our council members has been ridiculed by the national media for his stupidity…and that one is Kirby. When you think about the superlative stupidity contest, that is pretty bad.

Oh here’s some solid evidence of the low IQ thing: Kirby’s anointed County Executive candidate in disagreement with Kirby and all his friends on their hot button issue!

He just basically says, “What? Cut off my nose to spite my face? Why yes, I do think I will, thanks for asking!”

Seth Eisenberg chimes in to defend Kirby and chastise Danny (random thought that just occurred to us: why are grown adults named Billy and Danny in this county?). Please someone sit Seth down and explain how “you’re” is a thing. His contributions are lame, and he manages to look dumb in content, contribution, and composition.

The Cindy/Mary spat has been a wonder to behold.

Cindy Rose (Worst and Most Often Failed BOE Candidate Forever) and Mary Posey’s spat dates back to an earlier episode, which caused the Republican Club of Frederick County to lock down their page. We like to call that winning! We temporarily quarantined some terrible ideas, thereby depriving us of all the pointing and laughing that Kirby’s page has resuscitated here.

It’s amazing how she is always trying to be deliberately obtuse for the purposes of gotcha. And what a dumb argument for her to get involved in. Being disagreeable is her hobby. Like the candidate may not have been out for days on his own…oh well, whatever. We skipped all the back and forth with Danny about “binding arbitration” and whether he is with or against the firefighters and it does kind of seem like he’d rather not be for or against it. This issue has been really interesting to see from all sides.

One observation we have come away with: people we used to think were way out there don’t even crack the Top 10 Farthest Out There in This Neck of the Woods. We do apologize for our earlier harsh judgment.

Carry on fools!

9 more days until voting starts! What’s been going on around here anyway?

June 5, 2018June 5, 2018 fclocalyokel2 Comments

Sorry, Tiger, hopefully everyone who can vote will!

We’ve been talking about how to go about showing our gentle readers all that’s been going on around here lately. Honestly, it’s next to impossible. Therefore, in preparation for the primary election we are going to show you as much as we can about what we’ve found in recent days. Let’s start with Kirby and this “Guess Who?” meme:

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Ah, first of all the only candidate who has received any benefits is the only one that has been elected to the office. So, how can it possibly be all of them? That makes zero sense. Let’s delve a little deeper into this though. Do we really expect people who work full-time in a political office not to be compensated for their work? Or, perhaps Kirby is one of those elitists we keep hearing about that believes that only those who are independently wealthy should hold political office. Guess who else has worked close to 8 years as a politician? That’s right Kirby. And he wants 4 more!

We can’t point out Kirby without taking a look at the other half of the Shrelauter equation: Billy! There honestly isn’t much to say. He hasn’t put out any signs. He did answer the FNP’s questions in which he claimed to have solved the opioid epidemic. But, besides that we’ll let the likes on his Billy for Senator Facebook page speak for themselves:

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.14.31 PM — #SAD

Now on to the BOE race. Seth Eisenberg has been a constant source of amusement for us these past few months. From his freaking out over every bad piece of press he gets, his car-side chats, and his claim to be running because of his son even though his son does not attend an FCPS school, there are days that we don’t even know where to begin with this guy. Here’s a good view into his candidacy. This is his answer to a testing question put forth by the FNP:

34274788_2065313470163729_4645801360271343616_n — What is with him and Kirby and the double negatives? Well, we give this guy a triple negative endorsement! How do you like them apples?

And you know we have to mention Cindy…again. Even though we’ve done it a million times over, we need to make sure that everyone knows what a terrible choice she would be for our BOE. If this lady had just stuck to over-testing, we may have had some common ground. But alas! We’ll leave you some of our favorite, more recent, posts we’ve seen her make:

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.18.52 PM — The Wonkette, one of our favorite blogs, did a couple of great pieces about him a few weeks back. If you missed the New York Times article about this fella, take a gander. He believes not only in the patriarchy, but that women should be in enforced monogamy with men! Why, you ask? Well, if not men will become violent, like all those disgusting incels you’ve been hearing about lately. And who is to blame? The man? No, no, no! According to Jordan Peterson women are!

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Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.15.38 PM — Sanctity? When is she going to leave the transgender population alone?

And, let’s not forget the other two that have hitched their wagons to the aforementioned:

33817070_2056540797707663_573697920100990976_o — You are the company you keep fellas! Wait, I thought they weren’t a slate!

We don’t rubber stamp every Democrat that comes down the line, nor do we rally against every Republican (Vote Steve McKay in District 2 if you are voting in the Republican primary!) Click here and here to read what we think about Galen Clagett.

This morning we were alerted to a story about congressional contender David Trone and his efforts to get the African American vote in A Miner Detail. Read it all here, but pay special attention to this excerpt that has to do with trying to recruit two Frederick City Aldermen to his campaign:

On Shackelford, Trone writes, “he is the easy fruit.”

“I don’t want to use him right away. I want to use Roger Wilson because we have to bring him out and get him to support us openly and that will send other messages to the black community because he represents in absentia Jan Gardner in the county government and he has his own strong network of people than Derek who has been to my house and been great doesn’t have [sic].”

Trone continued, “After we run Roger down and get as much help from him as we can get, then we will talk about when to shift over to Derek.”

Trone does not have the backing of your Lady Yokels.

We know there are more candidates that we need to bring attention to, but this is all we have the time and energy for today. If you know of any other stories that need to be shown the light of day, do not hesitate to put them in the comments for all to see!

What’s that you say #HATESLATE? Kirby’s raffling off MAGA guns? And Tony didn’t pay his taxes?

April 29, 2018April 29, 2018 fclocalyokel3 Comments

Oh gentle readers, do we have a bunch to catch y’all up on! We are very sorry to tell you that the #HATESLATE, which continues to insist that they are not a slate, has slated together to form a new Facebook page! Take a look at this diverse artwork they chose for their cover photo:

Screen Shot 2018-04-29 at 10.18.11 AM — And the slogan!!! Lord, you can’t make this stuff up!

Next, let’s look at the first post on this newly formed page:

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Uhhh, the first thing we have to say is that pointing out that you are fear-mongering is not a personal attack. It is a fact that everyone needs to know about. Secondly, what is the message exactly? We hear lots of complaints and Chicken Little proclamations, but not one solid proposal on how to fix all that they say is wrong with the school system. Unless, of course, this meme that Seth posted is actually under consideration:

Thirdly, there have been PLENTY of people in the community, ourselves included, who have specifically pointed out (USING ACTUAL FACTS) how wrong the #HATESLATE is!

If you missed our two most recent posts about their claims, go ahead and read them here and here. Also, new blogger “The Rank Stranger” took the time to go through their claims and made two excellent posts (WITH DATA), here and here.

Current BOE President Brad Young, who according to Seth is not even on the board, has been fighting their misinformation like a champ this week!

Screen Shot 2018-04-29 at 10.44.57 AM.png — It is amazing the low opinion the #HATESLATE has of the kids within our school system.

And, because you are running for the Board of EDUCATION, you should have a basic understanding of how the English language works! That is not an unreasonable expectation! Therefore, we enlisted a teacher friend to show ya’ll your mistakes:

31198261_10215058175303594_912913790_o — Grammarly is an excellent resource folks!

Anyone in the mood for a pre-Mother’s Day fundraiser?

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Let’s get a close up of that MAGA themed Kel Tec shotgun, shall we?

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Do we have to point out all the negative connotations this decorating of the weapon entails? How are we to make America great again? By shooting everyone up? For freedom? We hope that Kirby realizes that his position as County Executive doesn’t entail writing gun legislation.

And last, but certainly not least, we have yet another county council man delinquent on his county taxes! How is this possible?! Mr. Frederick County First:

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Owes over $3000!!!!

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It’s almost May, so the countdown to June 26 is quickly approaching! Make good decisions for the future of both our school board and our county government. #Localelectionsmatter!

Let’s paddle all those brain washed kids! Your BoE election week in review!

March 18, 2018May 23, 2018 fclocalyokel11 Comments

We can barely keep up with this year’s slate of BoE candidates! We shared quite a few of Cindy Rose’s Facebook posts on our Facebook page last week, so make sure you take a gander at all of that! Since we have heard so much lately about how Twitter and other social media outlets are the best way for politicians to communicate, we are going to go ahead and present to you some of our latest social media findings.

If you haven’t had the chance to read our post on what a friend of the Yokel termed “The Hate Slate”, please take the time to do so. There we not only point out how very poorly written their “For Immediate Release” post was, but we also took the time to research and refute the claims within.

Please+no+more+bullshit_445cbc_5699531 — Did we ever!

The Hate Slate really doesn’t like it when we re-post their posts, read their press releases, or write anything about their awful ideas. According to them, that is bullying.

LOL! If they want to believe that pointing out why they would be terrible members of our children’s board of education is bullying, we’ll just have chalk that up to one of the million things they are confused about.

Let us first see how some of our candidates felt about the school walk out, shall we?

Screen Shot 2018-03-18 at 12.31.50 PM — Take heed liberals! Cindy will have you beaten into submission!

Screen Shot 2018-03-18 at 12.32.19 PM

Before we say anything else, let’s also explore what some members of her “Dream Team” had to say:

Screen Shot 2018-03-18 at 12.39.12 PM Screen Shot 2018-03-18 at 1.34.01 PM

Chaz also went before the BOE this week to explain to us all how very concerned he is that those kids who did not want to participate in the walk out are somehow persecuted in an interesting interpretation of the 1st amendment:

http://fcpsmd.swagit.com/play/03142018-987/#25

Here’s our Yokel analysis of all of the above:

Free speech does not apply to kids if they disagree with our point of view. These teenagers could not have come to a different conclusion than us (i.e.-we don’t want to get shot at school) without somehow being brainwashed by the evil liberal teachers. However, if a teenager does happen to subscribe to our point of view, they are heroes and critical thinkers who are the TRUE future leaders of these here United States. Also, Freedom of Speech ONLY applies to those who share our point of view because those who express a different viewpoint RIGHT IN OUR VERY FACES are somehow making us feel very bad and now we need our safe space!

tv55baa48c — Please, continue posting, people! PLEASE!

We also found a few goodies on the candidate page of Seth Eisenberg. Please take a hot second to read this blog post on his BoE page:

Screen Shot 2018-03-18 at 1.56.29 PM

Yeah, how about that Maryland Case Search!? Go take a look folks! Of course people are going to look at what kind of person you are if you want to represent our interests! And that includes whether or not you have had any run-ins with the law! And of course we want those in charge of making educational decisions for our children to have a basic understanding of education (and to know how English works)! To us this requires ,at minimum, a college degree or some other kind of proof that shows you are beyond capable of analyzing research and passing budgets! (Yes, we know, elitist!) And #sorrynotsorry we are not going to be positive with people who have no business in the world running for the board of ed!

You may be asking why we have chosen to spend so much time lately on the board of education race. These types of races don’t usually get a lot of press and in our opinion that is a huge problem! If rational folks don’t pay attention you wind up with board of education members who choose textbooks that treat slavery as just another world migration, or decide that creationism belongs in a science classroom, or try to ban books like Harry Potter. We can’t let these people on our school board. Pay attention and be vigilant!

Here’s one more chuckle for your Sunday afternoon:

Screen Shot 2018-03-18 at 12.36.38 PM — Appealing to the disgraced-several-times-over Milo Yiannopoulos for campaign advice is simultaneously tragic and hilarious. You have to be a special kind of nuts to get Twitter banned, and some of Milo’s big troubles come from appearing to promote pedophilia, so…

If you haven’t heard about Milo Y’s latest adventures, definitely enjoy some whimsical reading about his retracted CPAC invitation, kooky-stupid book deal that vanished into thin air, and termination from his cranky Breitbart covfefe production gig.

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