Local Yokel Legislating Time! Time to Fight Back Against the Pearl Clutchers!

And it can hurt everyone else around them.

There’s a whole potpourri of dumb shittery going on in this country. Most of it in Florida, because durh. If you haven’t heard about the firing of a principal because some ignoramus didn’t want their child to look at art, take a look here.

https://www.npr.org/2023/03/29/1166735136/visitors-flock-to-see-michelangelos-david-sculpture-after-school-uproar-in-flori

Besides the appalling amount of time someone must have on their hands to complain about a naked statue from the Renaissance, it’s embarrassing to the rest of us. According the above referenced article the statue is getting a lot of visitors lately. And we don’t have to stretch our imaginations too far to imagine many of those visitors are snickering at us prudish Americans. Even though, in reality, a vast majority of us are not bothered by stone figures of men. This Lady Yokel remembers taking my children to the Walters Art gallery to look at art. There were many naked statues and my then preschool-aged daughter asked why one of the boy statues had a tail. Not only did she get a lesson in anatomy, we have a fun family memory that we will never forget! No way I was pulling a John Ashcroft and asking the museum to cover up the stone genitalia.

Florida once again came into the news this week when one parent’s complaint caused a documentary about Ruby Bridges to be removed from a school district while the district reviewed the film. To spread the love around it’s not just Florida, though they do seem to be very special down there. We also have one person (cough, cough Cindy Rose), who has complained about some books we know she hasn’t read. As a result of her complaint a whole bunch of people are on a committee, and do you know what they have to do that Cindy didn’t? READ THE BOOKS!

Reading isn’t boring, people who don’t read are boring.

Dr. Jason Johnson and Randi Weingarten spoke on MSNBC’s Deadline White House yesterday about this very issue. Dr. Johnson made the point that local districts need to pass laws that prevent one person, who may not even live in the district where they are making the complaint, from removing books, movies, or art from schools and libraries. That statement got the old Yokel noggin thinking!

It’s time for some new legislation!

We propose that Frederick County Public Schools and Frederick County Public Libraries adopt the following policies:

  1. In order for a book, film, lesson, or art to come under review 10 community members need to make a complaint.
  2. That complaint should include the following:
  • A written synopsis of the media or lesson to prove the complainant is familiar with what they are complaining about.
  • A thorough analysis of the harm found in said media.
  • Peer reviewed research that backs up the harm claim.
  • Proof that the person making a complaint is from the local community AND is personally affected (parent, guardian, staff member, student, etc.) by the so called harmful media.

3. If you can’t do what is listed under #2, rethink your life choices. Because maybe you are the fucking problem.

We admit that the local authorities may have to clean the language a bit, but hey it’s a start! We need to fight back against the nutbaggery, because we don’t know about you, but we are tired of their shit.

Don’t let this be our future.

Vote for your new Frederick County Flag: Yokel style!

In case you haven’t heard, there is a contest to redesign Frederick County’s flag. If you are a serious artist, please click here for more details. We are going to have our own Yokel brand of fun with this! Vote for your favorite flag at the bottom of this post!

Choice A: The Black Book. Remember way back yonder when we had the Black Book scandal here in Fredericktowne? Here’s a design to commemorate that period in Frederick’s history.

Choice B: Y’all remember back when Billy Shreve told us that any waterway in Frederick County was safe to drink from? He never took up our challenge to drink from them all, but here’s a design to show the world how safe and pollution free all of our waterways are around here!

Choice C: This comes from a post that Blaine Young was tagged in.(Actual post was deleted, so we found a similar pic for this flag) Yes, the same Blaine Young rumored to be in the Black Book, and the same one in fact arrested for soliciting a prostitute from a website. Such class some of our former politicians have displayed!

Choice D: There was a lot of bellyaching from Billy and Kirby when they had to park in a garage directly across the street from Winchester Hall, and then Billy had the indignity of losing his keys. Let’s take a moment to consider a flag to honor this dark period in Frederick County history.

Choice E: Who could forget our own Frederick County pioneers who braved the overflowing Monocacy River after Hurricane Sandy, armed with a thermos of Whiskey Sours, in order to go shopping at Wal Mart? Let’s salute their bravery and superior common sensical skills with this flag:

Choice F: Oh the time we made national news because of our very own Kirby Delauter. This story was spurred by Kirby telling a reporter that if she ever used his name again, he would sue her! Whew!

Choice G: Kirby made the best flowchart in the history of the world, so why shouldn’t we display that on our flag? I guess he was right about Jessica getting all the money since she was able to run a successful campaign to be County Executive!

Choice H: Of course we are going to self promote and ask for your vote for our logo as the new symbol for our county flag!

Now, it’s time to vote for your favorite!

We can’t wait to see the winning design, though we know some will be very upset over the change! But folks just look at our flag:

We deserve better than that!

Let’s take a glimpse at a world in which the book banners win!

A dream world for those who want Idiocracy to become reality.

You’ve probably heard that the Reconsideration Meeting to explore the books that Cindy Rose claims are very harmful to our youth has been postponed. The Frederick News Post filed a complaint against FCPS claiming that the closed meetings violated the law. So, while we wait for a judge to sort all that out, let’s take a peek into a future in which books have to pass the political sniff test.

NPR sponsors a podcast called Planet Money. Last week, this podcast did a story on how picture books can teach young children about a variety of economic concepts. Before this podcast, a list of books was sent to the school district and it was agreed that the books were appropriate for 3rd graders. Well, at least until those 3rd graders had the nerve to connect one story to historical events.

We present the transcript of the incident below:

If we know our readers, and we think we do, most of you are probably crying over your computer or clenching your fists in rage. (Unless you are Cindy Rose who is probably rejoicing at this interaction). What really gets us is even the 9 year olds know what happened is bullshit. How in the world is it appropriate to first, cut off a Dr. Seuss story the kids were enjoying, and secondly make the kids who were making connections to history and the story feel as though they did something wrong? It’s the direct opposite of what should occur in a school. The lesson is that we need to protect our schools and their libraries from this kind of nonsense. For ignorance has no placed in our schools.

We don’t need this movie to become our reality.

Your Yokel Top 10 2022 Countdown!

What a year it has been!

Let’s be realistic folks!

Per tradition we bring to you our top 10 most popular posts of the year! Let’s jump right in!

#10- Breaking down Cindy Rose’s “pornography” claims!

We are going to have to deal with this issue for quite some time since FCPS had to form a committee over her nonsense. Let’s hope that she and her ilk can learn the meaning of the word pornography. We won’t hold our breaths.

She sure doesn’t!

#9-Let’s make sure we get some good candidates on the BOE!

3 out of 4 isn’t bad! However, we are going to have to teach some folks in our community that we don’t just vote for the first name on the ballot just because we chose to remain uninformed about the election!

#8-Sound the alarm: be sure *independent & unaffiliated* voters know to vote in the primary July 19, 2022 (early voting the 7th – 14th)

Our post reminding independent and unaffiliated voters made the number 8 spot on our list. We always need to remind our unaffiliated friends that they can vote in the BOE primary election, and it’s important that they do so!

#7- Alright people, Hough says this is very serious business!

Except it absolutely was not! Thank goodness we don’t have to deal with him in our fine county.

Move along!

#6-There’s quite a few of you who should be ashamed of yourselves!

This post concerned the absolutely appalling behavior that some of our community members (You know Cindy was involved) showed at a Family Life Advisory meeting. We always need to be careful of people who can’t comprehend what they read, or worse yet, don’t read and then make things up to purposefully enflame people.

#5-Chmelik wants to be on our council again? BAHAHA..NO!

Tony Chmelik, one of your LadyYokel’s least favorite council members, tried to run for at at-large seat and failed. Hopefully this blast from the past reminded a few folks why we didn’t want him the last time around and prevented him from getting back on this time!

#4-Cindy Rose’s Facebook posts…a response in memes!

Our readers really seemed to enjoy our meme responses to some very questionable posts Cindy made this year. Some people should stay off social media.

For us the answer is always yes!

#3-Your Yokel pals watched the public comment (again-it’s what we do) so you don’t have to!

This was truly one of the worst public meetings we have ever had the displeasure of watching. And this is coming from a group of ladies that watched every single county council meeting for the long 4 years that Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter, and Tony Chmelik were on that board. Cindy really can bring out the worst in people.

#2-Click, Clack, No!

One of our older posts got resurrected this year because people just could not believe that Cindy would complain about Click, Clack, Moo! Sometimes we can’t believe what we see either.

It was ridiculous.

Now for our most popular post of the year:

#1-Who NOT to put on the school board. Your Yokel voter primer!

Thank goodness we kept Cindy and two of her minions off the board, plus the entire 2nd rate hate slate! We are sure we will see some of them back again, but at least we have the next two years to take a nice deep breath!

We wish all of our Local Yokel fans a wonderful holiday season and a peaceful 2023!

Yokel thoughts on the election and a primer for some!

Before we get into the final results we need to address some cray cray we’ve seen regarding the election count. After deliberating at Yokel headquarters for a bit, we are convinced that the main problem is a good portion of Americans don’t understand how elections work. One of our favorite/crazy comments came from someone who stated that she couldn’t understand how Dan Cox won the 1st election and then lost the 2nd. Must be fraud! Not the fact that primary elections are party centered and who wins the primary does not have the assurance of winning the general election! If that were true we would have two winners in the governor race!

The Frederick News Post comments on Facebook are also a real treat. We have some folks positing that since the count is still going on then it must be all the Democrats just harvesting all those fake ballots!

Looks like a good crop this year!

Just because your orange menace ruined mail in voting for you doesn’t mean the rest of us bought into it. Republicans just hate when people are allowed convenient ways to vote, because they know that the more people allowed to vote the harder it is for them to win. NOT FRAUD. This Lady Yokel just got her notification that her mail in ballot was just counted and if these people had their way they would just be fine and dandy with disenfranchising me- Especially Cindy!

Now for the final election results!

Drum Roll please!!!!!

Jessica will be the next County Executive and Renee Knapp and Brad Young will be our At-Large representatives on the next council!

So thankful that we don’t have to worry about Hough and Chemlik, who recently posted conspiracy thoughts about Nancy Pelosi’s husband on his campaign Facebook page, destroying our county!

Mostly good news for our council races.Hopefully Mason will behave himself and grow.

And for the race we’ve been paying the most attention to, the Board of Ed race:

Let’s see if Cindy really means it about this 4th run being her last.

We would have really liked to have seen Ysela make it, and it seems like we’ll have to do another primer about not clicking on the first name if you don’t know who to vote for. But alas, this is what we have to live with for now. At least the January 6th insurrectionist and Cindy didn’t make it!

It’s time for your Lady Yokels to take a bit of a rest. Thank you to all who voted and have been paying attention!

Looks like we have to be the memory keeper of this county!

We will not allow candidates to gaslight the voters!

Seems like the common theme of some of Republican candidates is to pretend they are much more moderate than they actually are. This being Maryland, some of these folks are smart enough to realize that if they want to win an election around these parts they have to clean up their act! But oh no, no, no… we won’t let that happen.

No way!

OFFENDER #1 : MICHAEL (WHO NOW PREFERS MIKE) HOUGH!

An alert reader let us know that Hough recently cleaned up his social media in an attempt to get everyone to buy into the farcical notion that he’s some kind of friendly moderate. WRONG! Let us submit these facts to a candid world:

He so very bravely posted his NRA rug the day after a bunch of children were shot at Marjorie Douglass High School!
He sponsored a bill to ban abortions at the time of conception. (Notice Parrott’s name on there because he’s running for Congress)
No comment needed.
He’s the Chief of Staff (Cindy thinks this means secretary, but. more on that later) for a WV ethics violating carpet-bagger who posts things like that.

And he has a very questionable record in the Maryland General Assembly. Check out this article we previously wrote about him:

It’s a real treat!

OFFENDER #2: DAN COX

Now Dan doesn’t consistently keep his crazy tucked in, after all he’s full MAGA and regulating emotions is not their strong suit. However, he’s been trying ,through his social media, to play the part of a normal person who cares about everyday Marylanders. What a load of:

Let us present the following for the record:

Mr. Homeschooler literally has no idea what goes on in public schools. His only goal would be to destroy them.
Foreign policy is not his forte.
MAGA may be added to DSM-6 when it is released.

Let’s not forget he was condemned for comparing the expansion of mental health services to the Holocaust on Holocaust Remembrance Day:

https://www.jcouncil.org/statements/jewish-community-outraged-maryland-state-delegates-offensive-remarks-holocaust

And finally take some time to read all we’ve written about him over the years, it’s really shocking he’s gotten as far as he has.

https://fredericklocalyokel.com/?s=cox

OFFENDER #3: CINDY ROSE

Now, unlike the other two, Cindy really doesn’t care about her image, facts, reliability, stability, intelligence, data, success…sorry we got off track. But she did delete something recently that we immediately called her out on Facebook for, and we are not going to let this one go:

In case you missed the discussion on her post, she claimed the Chief of Staff of the FCPS legal department is a secretary. The same job title that Michael Hough holds.

Let’s see what else the hate slate has been up to since it isn’t knocking on doors or reaching out to voters.

These press releases are always a real treat for us! Not only are they always a grammatical mess, they also exemplify the term “hand the idiot the microphone”. We encourage people to call Mark since they put his number out.

Here’s another recent gem:

We all know who needs to stay away from our kids!
No where on this page!

Make sure to tell all of your friends and neighbors about these folks. We need to remember that not everyone pays as much attention to what goes on around here as we do. Having any of these folks sully our elective offices would be disastrous for our state and our county.

Alright people, Hough says this is very serious business!

Actually it isn’t, it’s pretty damn funny.

So, Michael Hough did not buy up all the possible domain names that people would possibly search for if they were in the middle of a drunken stupor and wanted to donate some money to his campaign. But, someone else did. And it’s very serious business so you SHOULD NOT look up this website and should be the appropriate amount of disappointed that Michael Hough expects you to be!

By the way there is no evidence that Jessica’s campaign had anything to do with this.
Except we are not because it’s just hilarious!

So, there’s much to unpack here, but we can do it quickly. Despite being the right hand man of the carpetbagger and ethics violator, Alex Mooney, Hough has no idea what he’s doing on the internet. Secondly, is he really afraid that his supporters will get confused and accidentally donate to Jessica because it’s somehow not clear that the donation goes to Jessica? He must think his supporters are really pretty dumb. The link now goes to a rick rolled video, which is funny, but not as funny as the original.

Guess who else didn’t buy up all the domains? Dan Cox. So you must not go to either one of these two websites because this is really some serious business that violates all the ethics!

DanCoxForMaryland.com

CoxforMaryland.com

Isn’t it great when two people who don’t know how to play the game get so outraged over their own mistakes?

In case you didn’t see it on our Facebook page, be sure to lay eyes on this little jewel from the Dan Cox campaign. Threatening to jail educators is number one on the fascist/dictator to do list when they come into power.

Hail Mary, let’s talk about the primary!

It’s been so busy here at Yokel headquarters!

All the votes from the primary election are in and now the work begins! We knocked out the entire 2nd rate hate slate, but the spirit of John Wilkes Booth still runs through 3/4ths of the OG hate slate.

He was useless just like Cindy, Nancy, and Olivia would be on the school board.
We do have to say we liked that David Brooks knocked Mark Joannides down a notch, because someone needed to! We all need to regroup now and make sure that 4 sane candidates make it up. For we cannot afford to have one of these backwards talkers on our precious school board.

Something is askew in District 5! Instead of the local Republikkins letting team normal, in the form of Michael Blue, continue on they put forth someone who thinks that Kirby is a hero.

The lack of judgement is astounding. Guess Michael Blue didn’t stroke Kirby’s ego well enough so he put this kid’s signs all over his trucks. And look at precious little Billy. I wonder how Pence feels about his name on that shirt these days.

Karl Bickel won the Democratic nod for what we call the High Sheriff around these parts. We’ve written quite a bit about the current High Sheriff, but feel free to revisit here.

It’s past time for this one to go!

Jessica will go up against the Chief of Staff for carpet bagger Alex Mooney who is currently under investigation for various ethics violations. We recently told the tale of how he didn’t want to raise the teenage marriage rate to 17 because he still believes in child brides. So you know we all need to rally behind Jessica on this one.

Never forget that he posted this the day after the Marjorie Stoneman Douglass shooting.

Our two Frederick County GOP gubernatorial candidates faced off with the dumbest one winning. From this concession post, we don’t think that Kelly is going to be backing him in the general!

He who must not be named! Keep an eye on our social media for every Monday we will post a new Dan Cox article from our extensive archives.

There’s of course many more races, and we promise to get to them. We must keep up our momentum and make sure that we keep our county government both sane and functional!

Once upon a midnight dreary, as I pondered weak and weary, never will I wonder why I didn’t cast my vote!

We are in a bit of a dramatic mood this evening!

Tomorrow is the last day to vote or to drop off your mail in ballot. We don’t engage much in making primary endorsements EXCEPT when it comes to the BOE race.

8 candidates get through after tomorrow. Let’s make sure we get as many hate slate candidates off the ballot as possible!

There’s been some good ole Republican drama that reminds us of the Great Kirby meltdown of 2018 going on lately. (Which is really worth reading again because Cindy Rose makes an appearance–she’s like Michael Myers, no matter how many times you knock her down, she’s always back up and scary as ever!) Like 2018 there are two factions. One is on the side of Cindy’s Original Hate Slate, on the other side is a group promoting the 2nd Rate Hate Slate which includes Moms for Liberty candidates and other people who like to make scenes at public libraries. Apparently this new group, who go by the incredibly ironic name “Voices for Freedom,” put together a list with a slate called “Friends of The Right Side.” This list was allegedly to be distributed in order to give voters a guide on who they should vote for, in the best interest of the GOP of course! Guess who wasn’t on the list? Cindy Rose et al! And rumor has it they were not too pleased! Heather Fletcher once again used some questionable judgment when she posted this:

But it wasn’t a misinterpretation since sources have told us that this list had language like, “Vote for only the candidates listed as it helps the GOP overall.” Not exactly the note any of us have written to ourselves as we entered the polls!

Why break the long-standing ritual of local Republicans eating their own? It’s a tradition!

And it’s so much fun to watch!

If you haven’t already voted and need to know where to go click here.

We’ll report to you when we know the outcomes. Make sure you do your part!

We can do something! Local elections matter and have consequences.

How did we let this happen folks? Those of you older than 40 know that things weren’t always like this. We didn’t always have this obsessive of a gun culture. There was a time when we wouldn’t have dreamed of allowing regular citizens possess these types of weapons. It all comes down to greed. When gun manufacturers’ market dried up in the the U.S. and foreign military markets ,they turned to the American public. And some of you lapped up their advertising manipulations and scare tactics to the point that this country is broken. This has nothing to do with the Second Amendment anymore (read the whole thing: the parts about well regulated and militia count just has much as the part the NRA posts in their entry way) , it’s all about an easily manipulated American public who helped ( and continue to help) unscrupulous, greedy gun companies get rich. It’s all so stupid and sad.

We’ve been thinking a lot about what we can do to change things. We keep wondering if this will be our George Floyd moment when it comes to gun control. It’s not as though a majority of us don’t already believe change needs to come. Just look at these polling results that historian Heather Richardson recently posted:

A Politico/Morning consult poll out Wednesday showed “huge support” for gun regulations. It showed that 88% of voters strongly or somewhat support background checks on all gun sales, while only 8% strongly or somewhat oppose such checks. That’s a net approval of +80.

Preventing gun sales to people who have been reported to police as dangerous by a mental health provider is supported by 84% of voters while only 9% oppose it, a net approval of +75.

Seventy-seven percent of voters support requiring guns to be stored in a safe storage unit, while only 15% oppose such a requirement, a net approval of +62.

A national database for gun sales gets 75% approval and 18% disapproval, a net approval rate of +57.

And take a look at this clip from conservative Supreme Court justice Warren Berger regarding the 2nd Amendment:

So what’s stopping us? First of all we need to stop electing people to office who hold unreasonable and uncompromising viewpoints on gun ownership. And that’s where we come in. We did a deep dive on some of our local candidates and their views on gun control. We discovered more than what we set out to look for, and we’ll share that with you as well.

Let’s start with our old pal Cindy Rose:

We know it’s a lot to take in, and man oh man she is so wrong on so many things, but here’s one more hot take for you to remember her by:

😳🧐🤯

Let’s move on. Running alongside Cindy is Nancy Allen. Look at the hot garbage we found on that one!

Next under the microscope is Tiffany Nobel, a school board candidate who thinks arming teachers is the solution to this issue.

It would take hours, if not weeks, to sort through all the pro-gun stuff on Dan Cox’s page, so we’ll just send you a little taste.

There are those on the other side of Dan who would like to see him win the primary because all polling shows that he would get trounced by whomever wins the Democratic nomination. And while we think that is true, we still wouldn’t be able to stomach the fact that he even garnered that much support. (If you are behind on how terrible Dan Cox is, just click here.)

Last but not least is NRA darling, Michael Hough. The man who is running unopposed in the Republican primary and thinks we should let him be our next County Executive.

This was posted in response to someone else letting the world know how insensitive he is to gun violence. It’s also nice to know that he subscribes to the ridiculous notion that Soros and Bloomberg are paying everyone off and couldn’t have possibly come to these conclusions on their own. Imagine how this ability to discuss other ideas would transfer to our top executive office.

Independents please don’t forget to vote in the Board of Education primary on July 19th. Here’s a few links to give your our thoughts on this upcoming election.

Don’t forget to scroll down to the bottom pic on that one.

Make sure all your friends and families pay attention to our local elections. Just imagine a world in which Dan Cox is governor, Michael Hough is our County Executive, and Cindy et al. run our schools. It’s enough to give you nightmares.