Is the band back together? Where is Yoko when you need her?

From the looks of this letter, we may have to define equivalence!

Blaine, Billy, and Kirby collaborated on an LTE this weekend to show us they don’t have three brain cells to rub together! What’s the reason for this bumbling reunion dispatch?! It seems the three amigos are very upset that there hasn’t been the protest “on the street corner” and debate around the water cooler about the current tax rebate that there was when they gave a $100 tax rebate back in 2012. Here’s our favorite part that really shows how these folks feel about the electorate they used to serve:

Parents voicing the need for new schools and updated schools. Nonprofits screaming about needed funding. People claiming and chanting we don’t want the measly $100 — use it for the areas in government that have a need: education, the sheriff’s office, fire and rescue, the nursing home and many social services. Then future candidate for county executive, Jan Gardner stated at debates how foolish the decision was.

Maybe, just maybe, someone should have advocated for more educational funding when they were in school! Let’s think back to these fabled days of yore they are referring to. With the exception of David Gray, the only thing this board attempted to do was privatize and dismantle as many government services as possible. They sold off the county’s nursing homes. (A move reversed by Jan Gardner) Refused to fund schools above the MOE (Maintenance of Effort) level. They told FCPS to look into building cheaper metal buildings because the schools were too fancy these days. They took away the county’s funding of the Head Start program because why can’t all the women just stay home like their wives did? They expected all county offices to do more with less! This was also done because Blaine was running for the county executive position AND both Kirby and Billy wanted a seat on the county council. So fellas, the only difference IS NOT party affiliation.

Before you Republicans get too excited, remember both Blaine and Kirby have left the Republican party. Kirby even shared this on Facebook:

And remember folks, when letters like this start appearing, it means someone is looking for a come-back. Stay vigilant!

Remember that some people are for it and some are against it

And no, we are not talking about the downtown hotel. Notice that we never talk about that? It’s because y’all are nuts. You decide which of y’all we mean. We’ll pop the popcorn. We are talking about something much more disturbing than that, and that is: human trafficking.

Does anybody remember the name of that guy who was in charge of the Trump campaign in Frederick County? He is currently on our County Council, but since he never does anything worth talking about, we’ve practically forgotten he exists. Apparently someone said that that guy is not going to run for reelection, and instead intends to do battle with Ron Young for his seat in the State Senate? Worst Wii game ever. This guy (a.k.a. King of the Deplorables) once argued against the need for a task force on human trafficking, because some people are in favor of it. Who was that? It’s something like Timmy Reeve or Bobby Sleeve or something.

King of the Deplorables

We were just thinking about that guy and his “ideas,” because of this one weird trick connection the Trump campaign has to child sex trafficking. In an epic “doth protest too much” maneuver, the same team that set out to do violence in defense of Hillary’s imaginary basement pizza parlor child sex slaves is really apparently sometimes in favor of child sex trafficking, if the Trump campaign chair in Oklahoma is any indication…Be warned, the story is really quite upsetting. Yeah, we do actually know that our local chucklehead has virtually nothing to do with this, but we will simply never get over his glib statement acknowledging unremorsefully that some people are fine with this. Who does that? Oh, yeah. We remember now: Billy Shreve.

Billy is an idiot.
The Frederick County Republican Party must be so proud of this darling wing nut.


Can’t a mid-Atlantic snowboarding expert fail upward?

Politico ran a story yesterday that titillated our imaginations. Apparently the USDA is being staffed by a bunch of unqualified Trump campaign goobers, and we happen to know just such a character. We would gladly promote Billy Shreve to the federal level if it would save us from having to deal with him in Frederick county. His resume certainly seems like it offers more qualifications than “long haul trucker” or “country club cabana attendant,” if only because of his “carefully” considered positions on regulations and hot dog stands. Plus he worked at 7/11, so he at least has experience with the subset of foods that you can cook on a roller grill.

Renaissance Man

On another note, the most puzzling thing about this Deplorables for Trump covfefe is that half of Trump’s supporters were supposedly–according to the lady who coined the inelegant but accurate “Basket of Deplorables” phrase–good people who had been left behind in the modern economy and were desperate for change. You have to just love all these tools who stood up and said, “I ain’t gonna identify as one of them nice folks! I am a bona fide jerk/idiot per my own self-esteem! Here’s my sign! Put me in the basket!” Pretty sure those are all the qualifications you need for a plum job at the USDA. Git er done…or whatever the GOP fair tent vernacular is.

TBT: Remember local third grade spat expert, Billy Shreve?

Who wouldn’t have wanted to be a fly on the wall in the office of the opinion editor at the Frederick News Post when this gem of an LTE dropped into his mailbox. Billy Shreve was criticized for missing school board meetings, and penned a lengthy screed detailing the ways in which he is actually dumb as a stump. A man who engaged in a weeks long drama about a lost key also accused the editorial board of engaging in a third grade spat. The miracle of the internet visited this memory upon us, and as we were not publishing in 2014, we thought it only fair that we douse it liberally with our attentions.

It’s hard to pick a favorite part, but here’s a highlight.

The editors of The Frederick News-Post have surprised me. They have spent so much time confusing attendance with action and results. Generally, that type of evaluation is considered in leadership circles to be a “rookie mistake.”

For a person making such a bold statement about action and results it does seem like most of what he does is moan and groan and little else–then, now and forevermore! (One does wonder what will be inscribed on his tombstone, since he admits it isn’t going to be, “Never missed a meeting.” May we offer “King of the Deplorables” as a suggestion?) It’s in his bones to make a lot of noise and do a lot of nothing, and you can tell by the “leadership circles” he admires.

Can you imagine if students were allowed to just decide that attending some parts of the school day were beneath them the way Shreve approached his responsibility to the BOE? What an example, speaking of leadership.

And then there is also this part:

One might ask, “What constitutes a meeting?”

One might also ask, “Did this really happen?” Ladies and gentlemen of Frederick County, lets not reelect the Bart Homer Simpson of local politics to any other offices. His track record is abysmal, and he does not need to fail up the ladder.



What can we say, y’all. We must be running low on our stupid quotient, since it’s been awhile between council meetings, so we dug into the archives. Frederick County is back in business next week. Brace yourselves.

Here is a story about teens having sex for food

A mood most foul alert: This story is about girls having sex for food, because they live in food insecure households. It is very hard right now not to pull out all the most offensive words in our vocabularies and point out all of the sorts of people who are insensitive to this (at best). We are begging you, please do not elect Frederick’s village idiot to the State Senate. And, FWIW, this is what happens when all of your solutions to problems involve people without boots being told to hoist themselves up by their bootstraps. Disgusting.

WHUT if we do get carried away in a wave of memes? At least they’re smart ones!

Check out the brain on Billy: deploralogical edition

Ooh la la. We nearly missed this gem in the FNP, and naturally in the Best Of “Do-As-I-Say-Not-As-I-Do” Category we have a Shrelauter. Both the City of and the County of Frederick would like to limit rezoning in the “lame duck” sessions of their legislative boards. And what does Deplorable And Proud of It think of that? You’re going to be so tickled (when tickled is something like the burning itch of athete’s foot):

“Elected officials are elected for their whole four years, not three years and three months,” he said in a phone interview Wednesday. (Billy Shreve in the Frederick News Post)

Announcement: Billy is superlative. He is the actual worst.

Remember when President of the United States Barack Obama couldn’t nominate a Supreme Court Justice–even with the checks and balances of Senate confirmation–months and months before the election even happened? Way before he actually became a “lame duck?” Because it was an election year. Of course you do! We are smack in the thick of a hypocritical wasteland of dramatic irony right now, at the federal and local levels. It’s exhilaratingly stupid. And also exhausting.

Billy cannot help himself during this phone interview. If this measure passes he’s also going to suggest that county council members give up 9 months salary. You know cause there won’t be any work to do! Maybe Billy can start the trend by donating $18,750 to the Frederick County Parks and Recreation department!

We are 100% sure that this hero’s Frederick County counterpart will mirror his expression!

Oh, also, the reason our delightful County Executive suggests this measure could be worthwhile that the last BOCC hastily rammed through a bunch of zoning changes. So, there’s that. A thing that even if you didn’t know, you kind of knew, because that’s just how they rolled.