TFW the local Republicans go cannibal

You are definitely going to want to see this. Team Hogan Frederick County Edition has emerged, and since Team Hogan is code for Team Afzali (*actual Hogan endorsements ambiguous) a brouhaha has ensued on the Republican Club of Frederick County page. The principal players are One Potted Plant Enthusiast, Area Woman, #KirbyDelauter, and Our Least Favorite School Board Candidate in History (et. al. aspiring BOE idiots). All have gone Full Donner Party, and they aren’t going to wait for anyone to get cold before they roll up to the all day cray cray buffet.

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 1.09.22 PM.png — Although this post is principally about the epic mudslinging going on on the Republican Club of Frederick County’s page…(there are two, because of course there are; when you look at this hot mess it appears that soon each Republican will need their very own club, because otherwise they would be part of a slate that no one can tolerate)…anyway, we would be remiss if we didn’t wonder how to freeze taxes and fix infrastructure. Like that’s free. That sounds like some GWB nonsense. How “fiscally conservative” of them.

Here are some of the beautiful things that are going on for all the world to see. We can start with this announcement of our intentions:

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 2.05.21 PM — yah. That’s the idea.

Cindy Rose adamantly refuses to vote for Afzali and maligns anyone who appears with her as having the stench of Afzali on them. There is a mighty feud between Cindy Rose and Mary Posey on this point, because Mary Posey understands how politics works, and the bulk of these other people seemingly do not. They take Mrs. Posey’s superior comprehension personally. Dummies gonna dumb, yo.

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 1.25.49 PM — In Afzali’s defense (gag), it would be so easy to have a personal problem with someone who has a personal problem with everyone, and who now refuses to compromise during an election because she has a personal problem. #irony

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 2.15.27 PM — Guess who we specifically would not trust on the little things? If you think it is someone who didn’t take the time to read a picture book with about 45 words in it to discern whether or not it is socialist propaganda before spouting off about it, step up and collect your prize!

Kirby blames Chuck Jenkins for Afzali’s win. ICYMI Jenkins and Afzali have a difficult history, which is also fun. These people must have the best parties. Like the Palins in the neighbor’s driveway…

Kirby blasting off at Jenkins is the most fun we’ve had in years.

This dramedy between Jill King (failed aldermanic candidate from days of yore) and Seth Eisenberg (failed BOE candidate and supermoron) goes on for awhile, mostly a lot of the same. None of it surprising.

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 1.52.20 PM

Then Jill King deigns to take up the mantle of Miss Manners, and Seth Eisenberg may be a total jerk, but he isn’t wrong about the figurative running of her mouth online. So that’s too funny.

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 1.35.28 PM — Not really the main idea, but who is Fred Propheter’s ideal conservative?! Yikes. Incidentally, Jill is correct, they are crazy to behave like this, but please proceed, right? There’s a field day to be had.

Boy howdy. Nothing like an intramural butthurt festival to get the Local Yokel Correspondents popping our popcorn. Incidentally, we hate that word, but it always seems to be a favorite maneuver in any Frederick County Republican Online Catfight. The County Council Watch Membership has some sort of butthurt identification service, apparently, because it comes up a lot. Either that or they are as emotionally mature as the average twelve year old.

Kirby calls Mary Posey a “POS.”

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 1.19.38 PM — We’re always surprised when we see Mary Posey’s perspective. We thought she was wacky when it seemed like Bud Otis’s moderate politics were a personal affront, speaking of taking things personally. But today is a different day. Wow.

Oh! And then there is this! Different space, but on the same topic of cannibalism, Kirby endorses Kai Hagen over Danny Farrar! The one endorsement Kai may have preferred to skip. But oh well, right? We will all hope to see more of Kirby’s Epic Sour Grapes. Election 2018 is going to be more fun than we had hoped for!