Annual tradition: fantasy budget cuts

In case you are new here, every year Kirby comes up with “fat” that we can trim from the budget (also Tony and Billy, but mostly Kirby) in the form of unicorn and rainbows amendments. He proposes a bunch of stuff without knowing really what this money does or what happens when we take it away. Like today when we tried to cut the money for library staff at Walkersville and Myersville. Oopsie-daisy-dummy. (Failed) Sometimes he has to pull his own amendments because he didn’t know what they were. Weird how that happens.

Just as long as you don’t become the County Executive, do whatever.

We breezed onto the scene right about the time Billy tried to suspend the rules and let The Yellow T-Shirt Brigade take over. We expected shenanigans and malarkey, because Billy was involved, but in reality this was the Career Firefighters’ Association, and their presence there and contributions everywhere are very much appreciated by Local Yokels and all of our friends everywhere. We are very pleased that our assumptions are wrong, because they were somewhat dark, based upon Billy’s Twitter feed and the black hole of intellect that can drag a yokel into. On the upside, Billy Shreve’s State Senate page only has 35 likes, so we may be free of his torment soon.

Something like this scene occurred (text transcript)

Kirby just got petulant because they don’t want to cut $$ for MET to go do theater programs at schools with high percent FARM (that’s free and reduced meals, if you don’t know the lingo) lunch kids because they had no problem voting down a quarter mil for Classical Charter.
M.C.’s reply: We haven’t voted on that yet.
Kirby: Well, the last two years!
Yokel text: Oh my God. You know what we should do? Find the post we wrote about his amendments last year and see if it matches up. Just to prove what a dead horse beater he is!
Man, oh man. Even the broken sidewalk budget cuts are part of the historical record! (Tonight Kirby explained that he had made a handshake deal with the mayor of Emmitsburg and he’s going to split the cost of the sidewalk repairs. M.C. was as uncomfortable as we would have been not knowing whether or not Mr. Mayor had agreed to this, but Jerry counseled that it was Kirby’s D and if he didn’t want to fix the sidewalks one way or the other, that would be his problem in the end. So fine. That all works out spiffy.)
But enough about Kirby, because Tony Chmelik got in a complete snit over $45,000 for an administration position in the Office of Economic Development. Since they’ve been doing a grand old job, even though they haven’t filled a position, but have needed to for four years, it’s obviously fine to continue overworking people there who are covering that shift, so to speak. Surely nobody who is doing extra work all the damn time will find a new job where they don’t have to put up with that. Right, Billy and Kirby? Suggestion: you volunteer your time, just like teachers do when they are grading and planning and documenting after school and on weekends, and sacrifice pay for being useless human bookends to the council since you apparently earn money for other things that you do in life. The pay of two marginally sentient council persons will cover one administrator in the OED. Problem solved! Also, tons of egregious mansplaining from Tony Chmelik here. The Lady Yokels felt that Helen Propheter was a particular heroine tonight, because who wants to be treated like that IN PUBLIC for their job? Nobody. Billy and Kirby also had “contributions” to this discussion in the form of: won’t we need to build all the houses you keep telling us to stop approving? NO. The answer is no. Some people already live here and could work closer to home, and would even like that. Question: what if we just made Jefferson TECH Park make the leap from fiction to nonfiction?
Jessica is a hero tonight, over and over again. Every time Kirby and Tony tried to snip, snap the budget she jumped in, diplomatically, like an excellent teacher, to guide them toward the information showing that they are so very, very wrong. For all her hard work this evening we present her the following award:
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We are also happy to report that Bud landed on the side of county employees by helping to defeat Kirby and Tony’s austerity amendments. Nice to see you back on the team, Bud!

It’s been awhile. Do you remember how to drinking game?

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Oh, Max is ready to play along. Can we get thinking cats for certain council members? They really need them.

 

It is sometimes difficult to tell by reading the agenda, but tonight’s meeting looks like it could be a real doozy. So take care of your liver. As always, this game is just for giggles. Actually participating in this to the fullest may result in death. You’ve been warned.

The meeting starts as always with public comments. We aren’t going to hold our breath on anyone actually showing up to speak. Just hold your beer, just in case.

A bunch of budget adjustments on first up on the agenda.  Billy will  complain about the library grant because everyone knows folks go to Borders instead, Kirby will kvetch about Citizens, blah, blah, blah. Mix yourself a kitchen sink.

Next up on the agenda, approval of minutes for 4 meetings. When Billy abstains mix yourself up a flaming asshole.

Now, it’s time to discuss a mutual aid agreement between the Fred Co Sheriff, Wash Co Sheriff and Hagerstown City Police. Where are the Fred City Police? Make yourself a missing in action while you ponder that.

Well, well well, it’s time to take a vote on the Maryland Association of Counties Legislative Committee County Council Representation. What? Didn’t Bud already executive decision this? Things could get snippy. Make yourself a T-bone in anticipation of Bud’s phone ringing with its Bad to the Bone ringtone.

What workshop items are in store for us? We don’t know what these are as they aren’t listed on the agenda. This might be a good time to hydrate with some good old water.

Time to look at a petition to close a portion of Old Frederick Road to improve the safety of Route 15. Pick your favorite drink and stick it in a cone when anyone complains about being inconvenienced by this proposal.

Lots of First Readings on the docket! Including those that Billy decided he better get going on before anyone brought up the fact that he did nothing but ABSTAIN during his entire tenure as a council member. Anyhoo, sip on your Lazy Daze while you endure this portion of the evening.

It’s time to vote on the dueling Forest Ordinance bills. With Bud’s voting patterns recently altered, we predict his version will be the one to make it through; Sip on your Forest Funk while you think of all the lost trees.

Before the break, they will vote to pull the Adequate Public Facilities bill, and then Billy will vote against going into closed session. If it isn’t too close to 7:00, we may get treated to Billy complaining about having to waste all his precious time at Winchester Hall.

MDX hearing is the last bit of business this evening. There’s a lot of opposition to this bill because it would theoretically allow a warehouse to go next to a school or a housing development. Mainly, it’s introduction has to do with the fact that the Jefferson Technology Park did not fill up the way the previous BOCC claimed it would. While you listen to the arguments mix up a pitcher of Nuclear Disaster, and think of all the bad things the Young BOCC have brought upon this fine county.

Public and council member comments can get a little dicey, however, you’ve been through enough for one evening.

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Don’t end up like Jonesy.

 

 

Afzali inspires us to marvel, “Who is going to win this primary?”

We almost forgot about this dingbat, who is seemingly threatening would be donors to her county executive campaign. “I am a witch. Give me money, or I will torment you with evil conjurings!”

Kathy Afzali wants help
She really does need help.

What is with this clown show we are treated to by a too large number of local Republicans, anyway?

Bud Otis, for the love of Pete. Why, oh why, have you seemingly realigned with team dingleberry and the darlings of developers?

Aside Afzali we have a county executive candidate who hates free publicity–Kirby “don’t talk about me in the paper” Delauter, crafter of flowcharts, follower of none.

His sidekick DeploraBilly Shreve, who is consistently and appallingly incompetent on a vast range of subjects, and is running for Maryland Senate.

Plus, we will forever have Billy and Kirby’s fascinating friend who shall not be named (who we are worried/thrilled to consider, based upon rubbernecking over his not subtle enough Facebook musings, that he may be considering a don’t-call-it a-comeback return to public life with the launch of a sexxxpert advise [sic] podcast in honor of Human Trafficking Workshop Week next week). Gross. #partyoffamilyvalues

Added bonus. Also running for CE, we have Regina “The Bullshit Stops Here” Williams. We would tell you more, but her website reveals no official positions on anything. Gracious. Afzali has issues. Kirby has issues. We know you have issues, too. You sued the county.

It’s rather sad to note that Afzali seems like the most serious contender here, having at least had the forethought to think about the issues, and she really is a hot mess. Remember the time she had a spat with the sheriff, and was texting him that he was a wimp and a phony?

Go ahead, madam. Align yourself with the wicked witch. It’s a perfect accompaniment to your Pay No Attention to that Man Behind the Curtain president. This clownshow is a plague.

 

You’re sure no Ephelba. We’ll be over here defying gravity, thankyouverymuch.

 

Facts Matter!!! All the time!

In a now deleted post on his public official Facebook page, Bud gave his reasoning as to why he removed M.C. from the MACO board. Thank goodness we have friends that have the foresight to use their screenshot option:

 

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Note: There was no Council vote taken in 2015, 2016, 2017!

 

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And it is!!!

Well, look at what Danielle Gaines found out in today’s Political Notes:

Keegan-Ayer’s appointment, along with others, was put to a council vote on Jan. 6, 2015, minutes show. The appointments were unanimously approved, with Councilman Billy Shreve (R) abstaining.

Who is telling Bud that he can override the legislative process and make monarchial appointments?

Oh my dear Zeus, Mary Posey (aka plant lady) was right!

Remember a few months back when we published this story about Bud receiving a potted plant and yellow tie from a very angry member of the public? We took offense because, at the time, we believed that Bud was simply acting in the best interests of the county.  But we Yokel gals can admit when we are wrong! We may not agree with this lady on much else, but in this instance Ms. Posey, it appears you may have had a point.

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It’s been no secret that we’ve been big Bud Otis fans. We sincerely believed that he was an old time Republican that didn’t subscribe to the Trumpery that Shrelauter likes to spew forth. Well, a few weeks ago we started to get suspicious that things were going to go South. We have lots of connected friends here at the Yokel, and many of those friends were telling us that Bud wants to be county executive. And, since he has his eye on that particular prize, we were going to see some changes.  Changes we wouldn’t like. The first evidence of this occurred when Bud refused to explained his competing Forest Ordinance Bill. In fact, he got quite snippy with M.C. when she asked for an explanation. As we said in that post, we hoped that Bud was just having a bad night. Now, we can no longer delude ourselves into thinking that’s the case.

Here’s what happened tonight folks. On this evening’s workshop agenda was the following item:

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Jessica asks Bud what this item means since the council, at least not her, M.C., and Jerry, were given any explanation on this very ambiguous item. Which we now know was purposely ambiguous because it was nothing but an organized coup!

Bud doesn’t respond but instead defers to Tony. Tony then picks up a piece of paper that appears to have been collaborated upon by the R’s on the council. In his distinct grandstanding way Tony goes on about the “far-reaching” legislation that the county executive has put forth and how he now wishes to put forth a motion to table Jan’s DRAA and school construction fee bills! We don’t think much of this motion because we are sure it will be defeated, and are only half listening really when we shockingly hear Bud’s aye. That’s right folks, Bud voted to table the bills on these two items! Even though, it’s evident to all that the policies of the Young BOCC have gotten us into a huge financial mess with all of their hand outs to developers, he voted to table! We cannot imagine there is an explanation satisfactory enough to explain why he did this! Therefore, we can only conclude that we  are in for a very rough year in this county, and that Bud is only thinking of his political future.  We don’t hold out much hope for Jan’s Forest Ordinance passing, and we truly question the political future of someone who is burning bridges with people on both sides of the aisle. If we agree with Mary Posey, who has had it in for us for a good spell here, that’s potentially problematic, dontchathink?

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We all do now Muffin! Sigh.

The 2018 elections cannot get here fast enough peeps!

Warning: Kirby’s fiscal side has made an appearance

Thank goodness that was quick. We want to focus on election returns. Kirby mucked around in the budget adjustments because the numbers for a foot bridge in Point of Rocks didn’t feel right to him, since it is a pre fab bridge that will cost $40,000 to design. The answer to the mystery is that erosion (which is science) means they need expensive concrete footers and stream management matters upstream to protect private property and also this footbridge. It must have been a mighty battle up in Kirby’s cavernous noggin–private property needs to be protected by public expenditures. In the end he feels better, math and research having taken absolutely no part in the grandstanding process.

Tony’s taking back his homeschool team sports bill for further tinkering to make sure it is done right.

Bud Otis did a last minute introduction of a bill for a Veterans Advisory Council addition as a First Reading Calendar. It sounds good because it would help the 17,000 veterans living in our community find the resources that they need. It caused a little strife between him and M.C. Keegan-Ayer because it wasn’t added to the agenda before yesterday and that’s not really fair to us the public, even though he obviously wanted to do this before Veterans’ Day. Bud asserts that the rules let him, because he is the President. Rules are different for presidents, as we all now well know (he isn’t making that up like that other guy would–the rule actually is different). During Council Member comments, Jessica Fitzwater points out that she likes to share the agenda via social media the weekend before the meeting, and if it’s not in there it’s not in there, whether it is allowed or not. We concur. How can you take a drink for a bill if there’s no bill? We have all been deprived.

M.C. Keegan Ayer moved to table indefinitely the thingamabobber about recreational facilities in PUD/MDX–which would have been decided upon today–after having discussed the plan with our esteemed County Executive.

Meaning that with this meeting was mostly quick, although it did require you to have some of those Holiday Mules per our drinking game for multiple questions that are more of a comment. Again with the Bridge to Terabithia Jefferson Tech Park, Kirby expresses suspicions about numbers being inaccurate, but he’s exploring a lot of feelings. If you say numbers you sound smart. In reality there is not enough information in his speech to do this word problem he is rambling about, so perhaps the Waffle House Press Secretary will discuss this in a briefing.

Kirby's Plan
If your goal as a fiscal conservative is to figure out if x is less than y, it is generally helpful to know the value of both x and y.

We wonder if there’s any way to find out any of these figures Kirby has feelings about. Maybe we should take it out of Billy’s playbook and send it as a legislative priority for the delegation in Annapolis to focus on next year, like it’s a hot dog stand with unknown challenges to opening. If you’re new here, that’s an inside joke. And a thing that Billy wanted to have happen, IRL. Probably they have no other choices, since they don’t have a staff (a note Bud Otis hits on during Council Member comments, and it stings just a little to hear Bud echo Billy, y’all).

The rest of the Council comments pretty normally about community minded things. Tony Chmelik offered a Happy Birthday for November 10th to the U.S. Marine Corps, and M.C. Keegan-Ayer acknowledged and commended our veterans. Jessica Fitzwater talked about the Veterans’ Day event. Bud Otis waxed patriotic and also distanced himself a bit from the County Executive and we think we see where this is all going in advance of 2018. And then Billy chucked up all of his PIA related complaints and assorted ailments. It’s really hard to take him seriously after all we have endured with him thus far, so we cannot even begin to fathom that he could have any valid points.

Class dismissed.

Tonight’s meeting rating: Not too shabby!

If you take away one person’s antics we are as well!

Jessica and Jerry are absent this evening. Thank Dionysus there wasn’t anything too important on tonight’s agenda!

No props tonight folks! We did have one public commenter who was also very angry though. Something concerning a sewer line issue on his property. This guy asks the council what good do they think they are? And you all look weak and bad! He’s also angry at the county attorney. In his closing remarks, Bud says that he will not comment on issues that are in litigation. So, though we don’t know the details of this fella’s issues, and he very well may have a legitimate claim, everyone knows that you catch more flies with honey.

Billy won’t turn on his microphone, ,but since everyone else knows how things work, we can tell that he votes against the budget adjustments and the minutes.

Not nearly good enough.
We are about to get a nice presentation about Frederick County Land Preservation , Parks and Recreation Plan. Contrary to the agenda, this presentation is not just for council information but needs to be voted upon. Billy throws objections around and was quickly rebuked by the chief of staff. If this plan isn’t approved by July 1st the county could lose a piece of the $1,015,000 that the state gives out. Billy is the only one who asks questions, more like observations really. Tells the Parks and Rec department that they must have a good staff and it seems like he’s on board. However, when it comes to voting time he is the sole no. Seriously folks, this guy’s only legislative style is obstruction.

There is a public hearing on the “closure” of a couple of county roads. Closure is in quotation marks because the road isn’t really being closed. It’s just being transferred from county hands to private. There’s a lot of back story on  this,  but it only affects a few people who live in the Countryside neighborhood, all who seem to be on board. So we’ll leave these screenshots for those that want more info:

This one is approved 5-0.

No public commenters at the end of the meeting!

Kirby and Tony pass on their council member comments.

Then we think Billy has turned a new leaf. In the spirit of Jessica and Jerry, he actually talks about an event he attended. And says nice things!  We are aghast! Then, he’s back.

Happy fun time quickly came to a crashing halt!

Billy loves public comment! He wants us all to remember last week when someone came up to talk about how very angry she was with the chair! (Really, Billy how could we ever forget?) He accuses Bud of not putting things on the agenda! And then says that the “disjointed” council and “dysfunction” are going to continue until the council gets new leadership. In Billy’s twisted logic the reason the council hasn’t been able to function for the last three years is because of the leadership!!! NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM!

Billy! Be careful of Aunt Pittypat’s nerves!
M.C. calls on all of us to remember those that lost their lives on the USS Fitzgerald.

Bud tells us that his office is always open to any council member who wants to talk. Only one member of the council hasn’t taken him up on that offer. Poll time!