What’s this here now?

Oh the receipts we have!

If y’all have been with your Lady Yokels for awhile, you know that this blog was birthed out of an LTE that a very sore loser by the name of Blaine Young wrote when he lost his bid for County Executive 12 long years ago. We feel the need to quote it in its entirety, though you can certainly check for yourself here, as it’s very pertinent to the tale we are about to tell:

Jan Gardner won and I lost, 54 percent to 46 percent, in the election. Everyone knows that we do not get along and never did. That does not mean everything she did was wrong and it does not mean everything I did was wrong.

The citizens want people who govern, not bicker and always blame the person before. I did it and it was wrong. She must move past always wanting to prove me wrong, undoing everything I put in place and firing or demoting those I hired or who were close to me; otherwise, it will be a very long four years. People see it as being very petty and very hurtful to those who do not deserve it.

Look at the election results and turnout: I lost the election; Gardner did not win it. The Republican Party won big! I promised to only serve one term, and the voters, even Republican voters, made sure I kept my promise. I have learned that if your heart is not really in it, don’t do it.

The pendulum has to stop swinging because of growth/development if we are ever going to move forward in Frederick County. The choice is Gardner’s. I only wish I received the same advice I am giving her.

I have moved on in my life. I wish her the best of luck, as it is very tough trying to keep everyone happy while trying to keep your campaign promises.

If you want to check in on how Blaine has moved on with his life (mug shots included), please go ahead and take a deep dive into our archives. This past week there are two Blaine Young articles in the paper, one an LTE and another a story in which he was quoted. It has been our experience that when he starts writing letters it means he’s thinking of running for office again.

Exhibit A:

Well, last week Blaine has some new reasons for why he lost the election and he very poorly tries to tie them into why the data centers are an issue this election cycle:

Behold:

Fear helps spur people to vote

​It is interesting every election cycle to see what the hot topics will be that drive voters to the ballot box. Anger and fear work best.

Out-of-control taxes, bloated spending and property rights put me in office in 2010.

In 2014, what drove me out of office was too many cuts to the government, development, turning the county-owned nursing home over to a private company and turning over Head Start to the YMCA.

Twelve years later, it’s about data centers and national Trump policies.

It’s interesting that we want no new houses, no new apartments, no new heavy industrial and now no data centers.

While at the same time, we want no real cuts to the government and the majority do not want to pay more in taxes.

That just doesn’t work or add up, especially with current government employees such as teachers, police officers, firefighters and general government personnel wanting raises and cost-of-living increases.

I’m not even talking about requested new positions and new infrastructure.

We need more taxpayers, not more taxes, to keep pace. That’s called having some type of development happening. Growth fuels the engine of the tax base. It will be an interesting next four years.

By the way, since I left office, we are still building plenty of houses and apartments and all of the government cuts have been restored, plus many new government positions added.

Oh, by the way a private company still runs the county-owned nursing homes and the YMCA still runs Head Start, so they only used those issues to stir up voters while never reversing them. Remember fear and anger works the best.

Be careful of what’s said and what’s actually done once in office.

Elections have consequences. It’s called your tax bill.

Look, we aren’t saying he’s wrong about needing more tax revenue, but he’s wrong about why he didn’t get re-elected and we are going to fact check his nursing home claims. If you were here back in 2011, you’ll remember that Blaine Young and his cronies attempted to sell the nursing home, thereby leaving our economically disadvantaged seniors with less resources:

https://www.fredericknewspost.com/places/local/frederick_county/frederick-county-decides-to-sell-citizens-and-montevue/article_081aa110-d528-581f-b283-e04d2c052897.html

When Jan won, that was reversed. A private company does manage the property, but they do not own it. That is the difference that he’s glossing over. Therefore, his claim that a “private company still runs the county-owned nursing homes” is disingenuous at best. When it comes to the Head Start claim, he’s forgetting to mention why everyone got so mad at him and his board over all of that. It was the sexist comments that Kirby Delauter and Paul Smith engaged in while defending their decision to pull the county funding. Both men wondered why women couldn’t just stay home like their wives did.

But you know what folks? The inaccuracies, condescension, and lying aren’t even main point we want to bring up here regarding his LTE.

In the August 2nd edition of the Frederick News Post, there appeared an article about the data center developers handing out money to a bunch of different organizations in some kind of image rehab tour. What caught our eye here at Yokel headquarters was this:

Blaine Young, a member of the local Elks Lodge, said the concession stand is part of a larger $1.5 million renovation of the historic lodge building on West All Saints Street that has been underway the past five years.

He said the Rowan donation will pay the entire cost for the new concession stand across the street from the lodge, and for its supporting utility and security infrastructure.

It will replace an older stand that stood on the site, which was used during that Elks Lodge’s annual parade event and by other organizations for fundraising.

“It serves the community in a mighty way,” Richard Hall, exalted leader of the local Elks Lodge, said of the stand. “The churches use it; the youth organizations use it; the schools use it; we use it — so it’s a tremendous fundraiser entity to the community.”

Don’t look away folks!

Rest assured, if he does try to run again we’ll be here to remind everyone why he is a very poor choice.

Speaking of poor choices, let’s talk about the effect this data center is inevitably going to have on this election cycle. First of all, if you didn’t see, CE Fitzwater has reversed course about allowing these data centers on rural land:

https://www.fredericknewspost.com/news/continuing_coverage/data_centers/fitzwater-reverses-course-on-freeing-rural-land-for-data-centers/article_61f4261d-1f0a-5369-a2a3-4ecebc1aa788.html

Along with the moratorium, we are pleased to see the public’s concerns about these data centers and their impact on people’s health and the environment being addressed. What we are not pleased about is how some people are throwing the baby out with the bathwater while jumping on the bandwagon of any politician who has seen which way the wind is blowing and is all of the sudden anti-data center in a very cheap attempt to win votes. In one of these data center forums, this post was shared:

Holy A.I. generation!

You mean this Dan Cox?:

If you think that Cox is going to go against his dear leader in the long run, we’ve got some very nice bridges to sell to you.

And, if you need more information as to why he will be horrible, read all about him here.

Then there’s Jeff Holtzinger, someone who we’ve also written about, but whose fate for us has also been sealed with this picture and post:

That’s a 100 percent no go for us. These folks are also looking to gain favor with their data center stance. While ignoring the fact that the Board of Education has no say in where these data centers are built. If you haven’t read our last post all about them, please look. Endangering our educational system and the children within are not worth the price of all of this.

We’ll keep pointing things out to you, but please drop us a message if you have anything we may be missing.

Let’s take a looky at these election results!

Right off the bat, we are going to pose and then answer our own question. How do we know that the Maryland Republican Party isn’t a serious party?

That right there is your answer.

If you are new to Frederick or Maryland politics, we’ll give a quick refresher on this one. However, if you already tired of reading, we can sum him up in one tweet:

You can look at the timestamp and date of that to make your own conclusions about what kind of statement he was making about Vice President Pence.

If you have more time, jump into our archives to explore all we’ve had to say about him over the years:

https://fredericklocalyokel.com/?s=dan+cox

Or, if you prefer a bigger news network, you can watch this video of him accepting a gift from the Proud Boys:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/10/21/dan-cox-maryland-proud-boys

Or read all about the Christian Homeschooling world he’s a part of and think about what that means concerning his viewpoints on public schools and women’s rights:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/11/03/dan-cox-christian-homeschooling-maryland

Even if you are mad at Wes Moore about something, this guy is not the right alternative. Time and time again he’s shown us who he is and we need to pay attention. He’s a big fan of Trump and he will bow down to anything that man wants. Including allowing ICE in.

Next up is the school board race! If you’ve been following us around for a bit, you know how passionate we are about keeping the control of that board out of the hand of zealots. But let’s do some making fun first. Ever since mail in voting became more popular, our hate slatish folks (or whatever fruit colored name they are calling themselves this time around) claim some kind of victory before everything is counted up!

Exhibit A:

And of course, when the mail in ballots were counted all up the four people who will protect our kids and make sure that our classrooms don’t turn into some Texas-like dystopian nightmare got thousands of more votes than Fletcher and her ilk.

You can revisit the post below to see exactly why you should not vote for Fletcher:

Here’s some insights into another one of her slate members, Tyler Walker:

Shall we imagine the curriculum he’ll set up for our girls if he holds women and their position in society is such low esteem?

If you read the Frederick News Post coverage of the election results, you may have noticed this quote about a third slate member, Shelley L. Potter:

Potter, who does contract work for Outlier, a generative artificial intelligence company, wants increased focus on academic excellence, fiscal responsibility and more parent involvement in schools.

She also advocates for school choice and competitive compensation for teachers.

We know that her current career with a generative artificial intelligence company won’t sit well with many of us who care about education.

In that same article, the fourth member, Geoffrey Seidel states,

Seidel, who works as a clinical project manager for the clinical monitoring research program directorate at the Frederick National Laboratory for Cancer Research, wants more parent involvement in schools, focus on core academics and an expansion of career pathway programs.

Seidel also advocates for consistent discipline policies and giving opportunities for family feedback on schools.

You can do with that as you please. We are actually in a very good position as compared to last voting cycle in that we have the exact number of people running that are needed to fill the four slots. No 5th person to throw off the math here. Couple that with the disparity in the votes and, so far it’s looking pretty good that we’ll keep the Trump orangies off the ballot!

Be sure to cast your ballot for all of the four candidates below:

Casey Day
Rae Gallagher
Dean Rose
Time to talk about the county races.

Let us begin with this. Your Lady Yokels are unequivocally against the building of data centers in this county. However, we do understand that these deals were made awhile ago, and trying to back out of them is probably legally and financially untenable. We still don’t understand why the overlay was changed or why the county so quickly took the referendum to court. Brad Young and some other folks running learned on election day just how serious this issue is to county voters. So, now we are all in a very difficult position. There’s no way we are throwing our support behind Holtzinger, who couldn’t be bothered to prove he actually lived in Frederick and violated a bunch of ethics laws while serving as mayor of Frederick. Plus, there’s this:

Hard, hard pass!

CE Fitzwater needs to do some fence-mending with county residents, especially those people who live close to these proposed data centers. And the rest of us need to remember what’s important to us in this county. For giving up our county offices to someone just because they say they are anti-data center isn’t a good choice either. We like someone who is going to make sure our schools are funded properly, that our parks are well-tended to, our libraries are not only places for books but community building, and all of our citizen’s needs are met. We know that these elections are going to mean some tough choices for folks, and we get that. But please don’t vote for someone just because they say they are anti-data centers without doing some digging. There’s some real risk in that course of action as well.

Jessica should do what? Let’s get real folks!

Some of y’all need to come back down to Earth!

On the heels of the announcement that Nancy Allen moved to Gettysburg and would be resigning from the Frederick County Board of Education, our local Republican party decided to engage in some high theatrics:

Let’s talk about what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot!

Let’s say we lived in a dark timeline in which Michael Hough was the CE, and let’s just speculate for just half a second that Dean Rose decided that he couldn’t maintain two residences in Maryland and Pennsylvania and decided to throw in the towel? What would Hough do? What would this local Republican party do? We don’t need to think too long on that one! Y’all make our heads spin!

However, that isn’t even the main point. Allen decided she couldn’t or wouldn’t serve out the rest of her term. When she did this she knew (or should have known) the process for selecting her own replacement. Let’s take a look at what the law says, and be sure to see who sponsored it because what a treat!

Nowhere do we see that the new candidate needs to match the philosophy of the old. And how would that happen anyway? If anyone thought that was a necessity then the law would have been written to allow the board of education member to appoint their successor. But no one thought that idea made any sense!

We took some time to peruse the letters of intent for the over 50 people who applied for the vacancy:

https://www.frederickcountymd.gov/9170/Board-of-Education—2025-Vacancy?fbclid=IwY2xjawOr6C1leHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFyWUtVWkdJUldVWUg2S0E5c3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHkYOI4raJ6Yd11Bwa5GI2PQXC-dOVemMtisl62MP2Sq85p5SVZepp-dYaapd_aem_nQOGJ5HkDARPtH3VpQV2Jw

Most of the candidates wrote about their dedication to education, their qualifications, and their community service experience. Unless some magic rubric exists to weed out those who wouldn’t be akin to Nancy Allen, we can’t imagine how their half-baked idea would even work!

The reality is the County Executive is only obligated to appoint (along with the County Council’s approval) the most qualified individual to fill out the last year of Allen’s term. As it is a non partisan race, there is no reason to only interview people who align themselves with the Republican party. And considering how those who align themselves with the Republican party have been behaving on that board this past year, why would anyone want that?

How much are we willing to put up with around here?

Yeah, what about that?!

If you haven’t paid attention to all the budget troubles going on around here..welcome to the terrible party. In the next few weeks the budget for FCPS is going to be voted on, and we need to make sure that our schools get what they need to educate our children. We’ll let a good friend of the Yokel explain it to y’all:

The most important duty of local government is to educate the children living within their borders. If we fail at this it really doesn’t matter how nice our parks, roads or other public services are. At the bottom of this post we are going to list the email addresses for county council members and County Executive Fitzwater so you can email them with your concerns.

Speaking of the important duty of education, one of the most important duties we have as citizens is to vote for competent school board members. That is where a fair number of us failed this time around. We tried to sound the warning about there being too many candidates on our side, but that warning did not reach enough ears and we are now left to deal with the consequences of it all.

Colt Black has decided to use his short time on the board to harass and demean LGBTQ+ students at school board meetings. From the Frederick News Post:

Referring to the part of a districtwide gender identity policy, Policy 443, that instructs teachers and staff members to use a student’s preferred name and pronouns, Black said at a Jan. 8 school board meeting: “Just as much as you have your right to be you, we have our right to be free from you.”

Lots of local folks filed complaints about this outrageous comment from a sitting school board member. Well, today an independent investigator determined that Black did not violate Title IX:

https://www.fredericknewspost.com/news/education/schools/public_k-12/investigation-finds-school-board-members-comments-didnt-violate-federal-law/article_2242bd78-0413-5402-a476-ea6b9bddc8a8.html?fbclid=IwY2xjawJP7-tleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHTHsWze5wnM0FF0CfAHFShoMiFnr0KpqqyZsBrtDN_DGWvhhaE8i89afYg_aem_muXKc9ju-tcCUZ_Ax74Plw

But that doesn’t mean that he’s not an unqualified bigot that shouldn’t be on the board. We’ll tell you right now that the 5 member panel of judges here at the LY have already tried and convicted him in our court of public opinion, and so has a majority of the school board:

We’ll remind y’all again in a couple of years, but we do need to remember how the math works when it comes to school board elections. We cannot pay this high price again.

And now for the emails:

Jessica Fitzwater

County Executive

Kathan McCarthy
Manager, Constituent Services
Email 
Ph: 301-600-6083 
Fx: 301-600-1050 

County Council

Winchester Hall
12 East Church Street
Frederick, MD  21701
Email

Ph:  301-600-1135
Fx:  301-600-1849

Yokel thoughts on the election and a primer for some!

Before we get into the final results we need to address some cray cray we’ve seen regarding the election count. After deliberating at Yokel headquarters for a bit, we are convinced that the main problem is a good portion of Americans don’t understand how elections work. One of our favorite/crazy comments came from someone who stated that she couldn’t understand how Dan Cox won the 1st election and then lost the 2nd. Must be fraud! Not the fact that primary elections are party centered and who wins the primary does not have the assurance of winning the general election! If that were true we would have two winners in the governor race!

The Frederick News Post comments on Facebook are also a real treat. We have some folks positing that since the count is still going on then it must be all the Democrats just harvesting all those fake ballots!

Looks like a good crop this year!

Just because your orange menace ruined mail in voting for you doesn’t mean the rest of us bought into it. Republicans just hate when people are allowed convenient ways to vote, because they know that the more people allowed to vote the harder it is for them to win. NOT FRAUD. This Lady Yokel just got her notification that her mail in ballot was just counted and if these people had their way they would just be fine and dandy with disenfranchising me- Especially Cindy!

Now for the final election results!

Drum Roll please!!!!!

Jessica will be the next County Executive and Renee Knapp and Brad Young will be our At-Large representatives on the next council!

So thankful that we don’t have to worry about Hough and Chemlik, who recently posted conspiracy thoughts about Nancy Pelosi’s husband on his campaign Facebook page, destroying our county!

Mostly good news for our council races.Hopefully Mason will behave himself and grow.

And for the race we’ve been paying the most attention to, the Board of Ed race:

Let’s see if Cindy really means it about this 4th run being her last.

We would have really liked to have seen Ysela make it, and it seems like we’ll have to do another primer about not clicking on the first name if you don’t know who to vote for. But alas, this is what we have to live with for now. At least the January 6th insurrectionist and Cindy didn’t make it!

It’s time for your Lady Yokels to take a bit of a rest. Thank you to all who voted and have been paying attention!

It’s your Yokel voting guide! Part 1!

Take it or leave it!

If the kittens can do it so can you !

We pay attention to a lot that goes on around here! Take our advice or keep your sorries in a sack by your bedside.

Governor’s Race

Let’s see, should we endorse the insurrectionist, copy and pasting lawyering weirdo who has never set foot in a public school? Do we want an election denying, Ivermectin taking, nitwit who accuses Brad Young of chemically castrating children as the executive of our state?

NOOOOOOOOO!

Wes Moore is the only candidate for governor for your Yokel gals!

Frederick County Executive

We don’t even need to discuss this one:

AS IF!

Jessica Fitzwater it is!

Maryland Attorney General

Let’s see will this one be hard?

They aren’t even giving us anyone to consider this year!

Anthony Brown is the only logical choice.

Frederick County Board of Education

We shouldn’t have to say this again but here goes!

Vote for these three only if you want to destroy our public school system!

Let’s see if we can come up with a nice way to remember who needs to be voted on to the board this year:

Dean Rose

Rae Gallagher

Ysela Bravo

Karen Yoho

How about RUGBY?

Rose 

Under no circumstances, Cindy. Vote DEAN, Say that again: Vote DEAN!

Gallagher

Bravo

Yoho

This is how we will all look with Cindy and friends on the board.

We’ll have another edition out soon. If you need to request a mail in ballot, do it soon. The clock is ticking.

It’s Awards Season–and we have some in mind for the 2/5 County Council Meeting

Your locals bounced into the show late mid-Monocacy River Plan Presentation and it does sound like the early part of the meeting was worth listening to because there were some comments made with bipartisan concerns about things that were eliminated from the plan and we don’t have the low down on that. Our chief take away really is that it is a plan. It isn’t legislation, although it may be the basis for crafting legislation that uses the plan as a resource. If that’s the case, then you get to go through the whole process that is normal when you have an elected public official you have to talk to. Part of the plan is specifically that eminent domain should not be used, so the entire land grabbing narrative is silly. Like so many things. And we will have to return to how representative democracy works later when we had to consume the entire bottle of Barefoot Bubbly.

They ticked through the public hearing portion of the bills the council is considering rather quickly, after a brief interlude of disco video game psychedelic electronica music. Who picks that stuff?

Then there was a discussion about bills for the council to offer support to or withhold sending support to for the state delegation, and holy moly. It would be appropriate to hit the sauce just so that we can address this in writing. We are going to award the nickname Philly to Phil Dacey, due to an uncanny likeness this evening to Billy Shreve’s confusion over Roberts’ Rules everything. Tonight he was incensed that they must quickly offer opinions on items they don’t know enough about. This would seem like a BFD, if it were true that the public never gets to weigh in. But here is the thing: the public elected Delegates and Senators and Joseph(ina) Q. Public is perfectly free to contact the people who will actually be voting on these bills to let them know what their priorities are. The council opinion is not meant to convey the constituents’ opinions, so much as it is meant to offer insight from the standpoint of officials who have a closer relationship with all the invested players in the business community and pertinent county agencies. And hey, we can understand if you aren’t familiar with this process that it seems a little crazy, but at least they asked for your opinion. You can give it, or not. And there’s a little foreshadowing for you folks…

First they were to offer support or decline to support a bill to establish a registry of private laboratories that have biohazardous materials so that in the event of an emergency the first responders know about the biohazards. This is of particular concern to Frederick County for reasons that are hopefully obvious to most everyone. Steve McKay referred to this bill as a “no-brainer” because (per his explanation) basically we are talking about nasty stuff that is one step away from being weaponized. Philly indignantly snapped, “Are you implying the state delegation has no brain?” There was more agony with the hand wringing over not knowing anything about this and having to decide in a hurry (glug, glug, glug) and Kai piled on, seconding the “no-brainer” quality of this needed legislation. I mean, whoever heard of it being a big deal if anthrax happens to get out into the environment, right? Oh and also this has come up thrice already with unanimous support from the Council in every previous year, but it has passed the House of Delegates and failed in the Senate repeatedly. Jerry Donald contributed that Ron Young is optimistic that it can be passed at long last because the thorn in the Senate is not longer in office. Fingers crossed. 6 ayes, 1 abstention on this one. You can’t make this stuff up.

Phil Dacey gets the “Abstinence-Only Doesn’t Work” Award. In this case it literally means you aren’t working. Sigh.

That he was getting nowhere with tabling the opportunity to give an opinion to the delegation started to really grate at Dacey, and in turn agitate your Yokel on duty. The next one was somewhat confusing, because of a sort of double negative setup. Here’s the query: Should the Council oppose including Frederick County in State Legislation exempting Agritourism businesses from being required to meet certain life safety building and zoning standards.

Some of the more interesting work of the previous Council was working to have farm wineries and breweries and allow special events in these spaces. Because many of them are charming old barns they are susceptible to certain safety hazards (like flammability), and so this having been a thing that was extensively cultivated involving the various interested parties like brewers and vintners and farmers and county agencies, the thinking was, “Nah, we’d not like to have gone through all that and have these things exempted from safety measures.” Fire safety regulation has had its opponents previously, if you followed the rogue wedding venues dramas of the past year or so. (If not: Here, here, here.) Philly moved to table the opportunity for opinion giving. Back and forth and forth and back and then got snippy that he had a motion and M.C. had to explain that nobody seconded the motion, and then no one did, so the motion failed.

And.

He.

Kept.

Going.

There was so much whining and undignified begging. It was truly disrespectful of the process that he was so desperately trying to knight-in-shining-armor save from itself. Steve McKay and Jessica Fitzwater both said they were comfortable with taking a position, because it was a position not to do something rather than a position favoring a new measure. We have to disagree here. That is entirely beside the point, which is up above, but we will revisit. We are all free to contact our representatives in Annapolis. That is how government works. We don’t need it to pass from us through Kai Hagen and Michael Blue or whomever. Annnnnd…On that note, we are so terribly remiss in bestowing an award of gratitude upon Michael the Miracle of District 5–this is such an improvement from He Who Shan’t Be Named. With that, we will end on a positive note. Deep breaths.

Lost in the woods: decisions, decisions, decisons edition

Your council thingy for today. Billy Shreve has a proposal. (Isn’t that the beginning of a spooky campfire tale?) Well, here, we were going to transcribe it, but have a screen grab for efficiency:

We are not “a lawyer”, but how does the County legislate the State? If the thing we think is a thing is a thing, chug a 40.

READER UPDATE: Anne Hicks (thank you, Anne!) points out that Billy wants these residences to be edible! Dipped in sewer sauce. YUM.

Next decision is whether or not the preferred bureaucracy gets to oversee a photovoltaic (that’s solar, yo) array at the Ballenger-McKinney wastewater treatment plant. This is for reasons of red tape and red tape minimization specifically. Billy will whine impertinently, because whining about solar is one of his hobbies, ranked just after rollerblading and growing out that mullet-tail. If we are also right about who whines here…do nothing. Because a serious horror show is coming, and you will want to be in top form for…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 6 proposed amendments to the Act to Adjust School Construction Fees.

Goodnight, and good luck. We will all be at soccer. Let us know who/what gets tossed in the wood chipper or whatever.

 

 

Annual tradition: fantasy budget cuts

In case you are new here, every year Kirby comes up with “fat” that we can trim from the budget (also Tony and Billy, but mostly Kirby) in the form of unicorn and rainbows amendments. He proposes a bunch of stuff without knowing really what this money does or what happens when we take it away. Like today when we tried to cut the money for library staff at Walkersville and Myersville. Oopsie-daisy-dummy. (Failed) Sometimes he has to pull his own amendments because he didn’t know what they were. Weird how that happens.

Just as long as you don’t become the County Executive, do whatever.

We breezed onto the scene right about the time Billy tried to suspend the rules and let The Yellow T-Shirt Brigade take over. We expected shenanigans and malarkey, because Billy was involved, but in reality this was the Career Firefighters’ Association, and their presence there and contributions everywhere are very much appreciated by Local Yokels and all of our friends everywhere. We are very pleased that our assumptions are wrong, because they were somewhat dark, based upon Billy’s Twitter feed and the black hole of intellect that can drag a yokel into. On the upside, Billy Shreve’s State Senate page only has 35 likes, so we may be free of his torment soon.

Something like this scene occurred (text transcript)

Kirby just got petulant because they don’t want to cut $$ for MET to go do theater programs at schools with high percent FARM (that’s free and reduced meals, if you don’t know the lingo) lunch kids because they had no problem voting down a quarter mil for Classical Charter.
M.C.’s reply: We haven’t voted on that yet.
Kirby: Well, the last two years!
Yokel text: Oh my God. You know what we should do? Find the post we wrote about his amendments last year and see if it matches up. Just to prove what a dead horse beater he is!
Man, oh man. Even the broken sidewalk budget cuts are part of the historical record! (Tonight Kirby explained that he had made a handshake deal with the mayor of Emmitsburg and he’s going to split the cost of the sidewalk repairs. M.C. was as uncomfortable as we would have been not knowing whether or not Mr. Mayor had agreed to this, but Jerry counseled that it was Kirby’s D and if he didn’t want to fix the sidewalks one way or the other, that would be his problem in the end. So fine. That all works out spiffy.)
But enough about Kirby, because Tony Chmelik got in a complete snit over $45,000 for an administration position in the Office of Economic Development. Since they’ve been doing a grand old job, even though they haven’t filled a position, but have needed to for four years, it’s obviously fine to continue overworking people there who are covering that shift, so to speak. Surely nobody who is doing extra work all the damn time will find a new job where they don’t have to put up with that. Right, Billy and Kirby? Suggestion: you volunteer your time, just like teachers do when they are grading and planning and documenting after school and on weekends, and sacrifice pay for being useless human bookends to the council since you apparently earn money for other things that you do in life. The pay of two marginally sentient council persons will cover one administrator in the OED. Problem solved! Also, tons of egregious mansplaining from Tony Chmelik here. The Lady Yokels felt that Helen Propheter was a particular heroine tonight, because who wants to be treated like that IN PUBLIC for their job? Nobody. Billy and Kirby also had “contributions” to this discussion in the form of: won’t we need to build all the houses you keep telling us to stop approving? NO. The answer is no. Some people already live here and could work closer to home, and would even like that. Question: what if we just made Jefferson TECH Park make the leap from fiction to nonfiction?
Jessica is a hero tonight, over and over again. Every time Kirby and Tony tried to snip, snap the budget she jumped in, diplomatically, like an excellent teacher, to guide them toward the information showing that they are so very, very wrong. For all her hard work this evening we present her the following award:
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We are also happy to report that Bud landed on the side of county employees by helping to defeat Kirby and Tony’s austerity amendments. Nice to see you back on the team, Bud!

April 17th meeting menu: third reading casserole with Fredneck salad

Here is an exact transcript of our text messages concerning the first part of the meeting (yawn):

Billy voted against the agenda.
Abstained on the budget adjustments.
Voted for the minutes.
 He is such an idiot
Then both he and Kirby gave the same tired old argument about how keeping the tax rate the same is the same as a tax hike.
For the 4th year in a row.
Then there was a magical interlude of professionalism wherein the Retired Military Tax Credit was combed through by county staff before it passed, and we moved on to the circus events.
Billy had proposed legislation requiring that council members receive some minuscule amount of education regarding what the hell they are supposed to be doing there. Presumably this is because Billy is confuzzled. Possibly because he says he took a thing online with a quiz and it took five minutes, so what’s the big deal? How very educational. M.C. Keegan-Ayer proposed some amendments, which Tony Chmelik felt neutered the power of that legislation since it made it a mere suggestion. M.C. was basically like (to paraphrase this as we would have said it), look, don’t get all snippy with me, I was just trying to polish Billy’s turd here. Nobody was into making unnecessary laws, except Billy. Failed 1-6.

Then there was the zoning violation drama, which is naturally a big ol thing to the nincompoop faction, in large part because of the great wedding venue drama of 2016. Billy and Kirby are both very upset that zoning complaints can be filed anonymously and for some weird reason they are allergic to anonymous criticism (neener-neener), and so Jerry Donald had to explain to them that some people may be afraid of their neighbors–and for good reason. (Tangential thought: can you imagine if Billy Shreve or Kirby Delauter were your neighbor? And you had some sort of property dispute? Scary.) At one point M.C. made it clear that she was not even able to try and fix this. Sigh. This failed too, because obviously. Turd status: unpolishable.

Also there was the wood chipping scandal (it’s as if these bills Billy launch begin a listicle of Billy and Kirby’s prior buffoonery and proof that neither of them deserve to hold current office and certainly do not deserve to be entrusted with any additional responsibilities). Their position here, in a nutshell, is that these people have been in violation of the law for ages now, and how is it fair that someone noticed and is going to make them stop? Scandalous indeed! In fact, it becomes rather clear through Kirby’s bellyaching about County Executive Jan Gardner’s role in these zoning violations matters that he still does not understand the different branches of government under the charter. How is he going to be the county executive if he doesn’t know what that is? It will be a lot like the current status of Billy Shreve, who does not know what he is supposed to be doing ever.

This bill failed because the one business it was initially custom tailored by Councildolt Shreve to benefit–until Tony Chmelik took over the turd polishing operation–was likely to be harmed by it, and hardly anyone thought that was a good idea. At one point during the discussion of this (or it could have been the earlier bill, but no matter) Billy was so stuck in oppositional defiant mode that he started opposing his own position. It was really a scene. Billy still remembers to like his own dumb ideas in the end, though. And after all that grandstanding and noise that Kirby made here, he voted against it!

Off-track betting passed unanimously. It now has to go back for public hearing.