Annual tradition: fantasy budget cuts

In case you are new here, every year Kirby comes up with “fat” that we can trim from the budget (also Tony and Billy, but mostly Kirby) in the form of unicorn and rainbows amendments. He proposes a bunch of stuff without knowing really what this money does or what happens when we take it away. Like today when we tried to cut the money for library staff at Walkersville and Myersville. Oopsie-daisy-dummy. (Failed) Sometimes he has to pull his own amendments because he didn’t know what they were. Weird how that happens.

Just as long as you don’t become the County Executive, do whatever.

We breezed onto the scene right about the time Billy tried to suspend the rules and let The Yellow T-Shirt Brigade take over. We expected shenanigans and malarkey, because Billy was involved, but in reality this was the Career Firefighters’ Association, and their presence there and contributions everywhere are very much appreciated by Local Yokels and all of our friends everywhere. We are very pleased that our assumptions are wrong, because they were somewhat dark, based upon Billy’s Twitter feed and the black hole of intellect that can drag a yokel into. On the upside, Billy Shreve’s State Senate page only has 35 likes, so we may be free of his torment soon.

Something like this scene occurred (text transcript)

Kirby just got petulant because they don’t want to cut $$ for MET to go do theater programs at schools with high percent FARM (that’s free and reduced meals, if you don’t know the lingo) lunch kids because they had no problem voting down a quarter mil for Classical Charter.
M.C.’s reply: We haven’t voted on that yet.
Kirby: Well, the last two years!
Yokel text: Oh my God. You know what we should do? Find the post we wrote about his amendments last year and see if it matches up. Just to prove what a dead horse beater he is!
Man, oh man. Even the broken sidewalk budget cuts are part of the historical record! (Tonight Kirby explained that he had made a handshake deal with the mayor of Emmitsburg and he’s going to split the cost of the sidewalk repairs. M.C. was as uncomfortable as we would have been not knowing whether or not Mr. Mayor had agreed to this, but Jerry counseled that it was Kirby’s D and if he didn’t want to fix the sidewalks one way or the other, that would be his problem in the end. So fine. That all works out spiffy.)
But enough about Kirby, because Tony Chmelik got in a complete snit over $45,000 for an administration position in the Office of Economic Development. Since they’ve been doing a grand old job, even though they haven’t filled a position, but have needed to for four years, it’s obviously fine to continue overworking people there who are covering that shift, so to speak. Surely nobody who is doing extra work all the damn time will find a new job where they don’t have to put up with that. Right, Billy and Kirby? Suggestion: you volunteer your time, just like teachers do when they are grading and planning and documenting after school and on weekends, and sacrifice pay for being useless human bookends to the council since you apparently earn money for other things that you do in life. The pay of two marginally sentient council persons will cover one administrator in the OED. Problem solved! Also, tons of egregious mansplaining from Tony Chmelik here. The Lady Yokels felt that Helen Propheter was a particular heroine tonight, because who wants to be treated like that IN PUBLIC for their job? Nobody. Billy and Kirby also had “contributions” to this discussion in the form of: won’t we need to build all the houses you keep telling us to stop approving? NO. The answer is no. Some people already live here and could work closer to home, and would even like that. Question: what if we just made Jefferson TECH Park make the leap from fiction to nonfiction?
Jessica is a hero tonight, over and over again. Every time Kirby and Tony tried to snip, snap the budget she jumped in, diplomatically, like an excellent teacher, to guide them toward the information showing that they are so very, very wrong. For all her hard work this evening we present her the following award:
Screen Shot 2018-05-08 at 7.49.25 PM.png
We are also happy to report that Bud landed on the side of county employees by helping to defeat Kirby and Tony’s austerity amendments. Nice to see you back on the team, Bud!

#Neverforget, #NeverSenatorShreve

harsh
No, Whiskers, it is not.

We saw this article and guess what? A study has found that one fifth of human trafficking victims are homeless youth. Please read the article, and remember that our very own Billy Shreve once said there are people for human trafficking as if both sides was a valid arguement. If you don’t remember, it is a good thing we are here and we will #neverforget.  Read about it here and here.

Guess what else this research found?

The research also highlights the connection between sex trafficking and online advertising, including Backpage.com, which has recently been shut down by the FBI with federal indictments against the online marketplace. Researchers found that 44 percent of the sex trafficking victims were subjects of an online ad, with half of them reporting that they were advertised on Backpage.

Why is Backpage so familiar??? Have we heard about that website in Frederick for some local reason? Hmmm. Oh, yeah. We read about when a bastion scourge of our community was arrested.  Human trafficking is a real issue. Neither Frederick, nor Maryland needs leaders who are unwilling and unable to understand there are no pros to this issue.

will-you-please-just-go-away-
Use your vote wisely and we can make sure Billy Shreve is not elected. Tell your friends.

May Day meeting: mayday! mayday!

Here is your agenda for May Day’s Sobriety Challenge. There are budget adjustments, and since this is like Cheers, “where everybody knows your name,” we all know who will be oppositional during the regular scheduled business portion up top. It is not worth endangering our blessed livers to drink for this anymore. We will need these in working order just so we can get through the next election.

The first new business pertains to a bill regarding the Frederick County Sustainability Commission. Sustainability sounds like socialism (not really, but whatever certain people don’t like is “the socialist agenda”) so…queue up the histrionics? Take your mayday swig of whatever you have handy if any related slippery slope variety nonsense comes up. Cheap wine straight from a bottle (box/spigot?) seems fitting.

Council decisions will be required for three separate items.

  • Elderly Individual and Retired Military Tax Credit: if Billy Shreve finally accomplishes something…Well, lets not go overboard. This is a good bill, we should make a nice toast, take a sip, and carry on under the informed hypothesis that it will be back to the regularly scheduled B.S.B.S.
  • Off Track Betting: prediction–this will pass easily, based on the prior discussions. Giddy Up! Maybe have a Black-Eyed Susan, which seems hella elitist for video gambling, but we have to spruce things up on occasion, don’t we?
  • Veterans Advisory Council: this better pass, and there’s no reason to think it wouldn’t. Unanimously. Another toast for what happens when government functions cooperatively. If something goes horribly awry, chug the bottle.

Public hearings are scheduled before the break, and after, and this is going to be a lot to digest. We have Installment Purchase Programs, City Enterprise Zone for the Golden Mile, and a Petition to alter county roads in the city watershed. Definitely have some bread and pasta during the break if you’re going to keep up with this game after the break, because first up is Constant Yield, and you must know we are going to get another lesson on how keeping the property tax rate the same is a tax increase because the county will get more money, which one would imagine may make a certain amount of sense, since if they have to purchase any land or anything it is at today’s prices and not yesteryear’s. Suggested solution: finish your glass.

Mayday! Mayday! Math, how does it work?

Thankfully (and miraculously) Kirby and Jerry have done the magical bipartisan duo thing to craft a relief bill to supplement seniors, because their property values are going up, and consequently their tax bill is higher. This is the right idea for legislation, because this is also important for people on fixed incomes. If Kirby toots his own horn for his very lately discovered election season cooperative sensibility…what do we mean, “if…”? When Kirby pats himself on the back, finish that bottle.

Switch to rosé. Gag. Also up for discussion is that whole thing about whether your neighborhood pool/tennis court/community center has to actually be in your neighborhood, if it is to be exclusive to your neighborhood. What kind of special mediocre elite nonsense is this meant to address anyway, anyway? If you want a country club, go join one. FFS. Your bottle was empty after Kirby’s issue above anyway, right? Now you will definitely have a headache in the morning.

And that brings us to Adequate Public Facilities. Rest In Peace.

 

 

 

April 17th meeting menu: third reading casserole with Fredneck salad

Here is an exact transcript of our text messages concerning the first part of the meeting (yawn):

Billy voted against the agenda.
Abstained on the budget adjustments.
Voted for the minutes.
 He is such an idiot
Then both he and Kirby gave the same tired old argument about how keeping the tax rate the same is the same as a tax hike.
For the 4th year in a row.
Then there was a magical interlude of professionalism wherein the Retired Military Tax Credit was combed through by county staff before it passed, and we moved on to the circus events.
Billy had proposed legislation requiring that council members receive some minuscule amount of education regarding what the hell they are supposed to be doing there. Presumably this is because Billy is confuzzled. Possibly because he says he took a thing online with a quiz and it took five minutes, so what’s the big deal? How very educational. M.C. Keegan-Ayer proposed some amendments, which Tony Chmelik felt neutered the power of that legislation since it made it a mere suggestion. M.C. was basically like (to paraphrase this as we would have said it), look, don’t get all snippy with me, I was just trying to polish Billy’s turd here. Nobody was into making unnecessary laws, except Billy. Failed 1-6.

Then there was the zoning violation drama, which is naturally a big ol thing to the nincompoop faction, in large part because of the great wedding venue drama of 2016. Billy and Kirby are both very upset that zoning complaints can be filed anonymously and for some weird reason they are allergic to anonymous criticism (neener-neener), and so Jerry Donald had to explain to them that some people may be afraid of their neighbors–and for good reason. (Tangential thought: can you imagine if Billy Shreve or Kirby Delauter were your neighbor? And you had some sort of property dispute? Scary.) At one point M.C. made it clear that she was not even able to try and fix this. Sigh. This failed too, because obviously. Turd status: unpolishable.

Also there was the wood chipping scandal (it’s as if these bills Billy launch begin a listicle of Billy and Kirby’s prior buffoonery and proof that neither of them deserve to hold current office and certainly do not deserve to be entrusted with any additional responsibilities). Their position here, in a nutshell, is that these people have been in violation of the law for ages now, and how is it fair that someone noticed and is going to make them stop? Scandalous indeed! In fact, it becomes rather clear through Kirby’s bellyaching about County Executive Jan Gardner’s role in these zoning violations matters that he still does not understand the different branches of government under the charter. How is he going to be the county executive if he doesn’t know what that is? It will be a lot like the current status of Billy Shreve, who does not know what he is supposed to be doing ever.

This bill failed because the one business it was initially custom tailored by Councildolt Shreve to benefit–until Tony Chmelik took over the turd polishing operation–was likely to be harmed by it, and hardly anyone thought that was a good idea. At one point during the discussion of this (or it could have been the earlier bill, but no matter) Billy was so stuck in oppositional defiant mode that he started opposing his own position. It was really a scene. Billy still remembers to like his own dumb ideas in the end, though. And after all that grandstanding and noise that Kirby made here, he voted against it!

Off-track betting passed unanimously. It now has to go back for public hearing.

 

Is it possible there are still some people who are unaware of Billy’s Oppositional Defiance Disorder?

There was an amusing discussion on our Facebook page yesterday regarding Billy’s bad habit of voting against the agenda. During our meeting coverages we have suggested if Billy insists on voting against the items on the agenda, he shouldn’t be allowed to vote on anything! Perhaps we should gather the necessary signatures so we can change the charter come next election! At this point, we don’t even believe that Billy knows why he votes against it anymore!

3928d9be253e54eeaa26441d1c45e048--parenting-tips-parenting-quotes.jpg

In this morning’s Political Notes, we are treated to some drama between Billy and the Frederick County Republican Central Committee (FCRCC). As we all know, Billy is running for Maryland State Senate. He’s also running for a seat on the FCRCC, which according to the by-laws in a no-no:

“Any FCRCC member who intends to run against another Republican (other than for Central Committee) should, upon filing, resign from his or her position on the FCRCC since such a candidacy creates a conflict of interest between the member’s personal interests and the interests of the FCRCC and/or Party.”

Billy, in a telephone interview with the FNP, stated the by-laws do not REQUIRE him to resign. You know because of the word “should”. And, we all know that Billy doesn’t do what he SHOULD! Well, Lois Gibson, who happens to be the treasurer of Greater Frederick Republican Women, thinks Billy behavior is unethical and was quoted as saying:

“If he has integrity he should, in fact, resign,” she said.

25m393
Your Lady Yokels will be chuckling about this all day!

Please, Ms. Gibson, read through our blog to learn all there is to know about Billy’s governing style. Integrity is not in his playbook!

Believe in Shreve? Not on your life!

Our frenemies over at Red Maryland posted a story a few weeks back claiming that Billy is going to back out of the Maryland Senate Race. Go ahead and read their claims, we wouldn’t be one bit surprised if they are right. But, until he does officially bow out we should treat him as a serious candidate! We decided to hop on over to his website to see what B.S. Billy Shreve is trying to sell us.

We highly recommend that you go on over to believeinshreve.com and click on through! Just don’t drink anything while doing so, because you are super likely to destroy your device. Here’s some highlights!

Screen Shot 2018-02-22 at 11.45.07 AM

From his vision link: a study in contradictions! Notice at the top he says that the primary focus of education should not be to build buildings, then at the bottom: “Schools will be built in a timely manner, not “Backwards”, after we need them.” We aren’t even sure what that is supposed to mean, but pick a message, Billy! We are also really curious about this magical “loop road” and not surprised at all about the Chuck Jenkins comment.

Screen Shot 2018-02-22 at 11.45.57 AM

Hubble Telescope and the Space Shuttle? OUR BILLY?! You know what? If Billy is some kind of secret genius that’s been holding out on us since 2010, we have some words to say to him!

Screen Shot 2018-02-22 at 11.45.27 AM

Umm, why didn’t he list being elected to an At-Large seat on the county council as one of his Present Personal Accomplishments? Does Billy think he is still a commissioner? Is he not proud of his work on the county council? I mean, he really shouldn’t be, but is he aware of that?

Now it’s time for the creme de la creme:

Screen Shot 2018-02-22 at 11.46.26 AM

What is that?! An homage to his idol, Donald Trump? Is he warning us that we need to take a detour and not vote for him? And LOLOLOL, ending with just the word Orange? Man, this is the strangest thing we’ve seen on a political website in quite some time! Billy, you are really making this way too easy for us!

5db16b0281f30fe886642400ac460e7e--deep-breath-remember-this

And one more thing for Billy to take note of. This is how you host Boy Scouts at Winchester Hall:

27972748_918071425014825_907988903669563496_n
Where’s the political signs? Oh that’s right, that’s not how grown ups behave!

 

Did Billy “unwittingly” retweet Russian election propaganda? You bet he did!

24q3j3.jpg
He always does the best jobs!

Unless you’ve been unconscious in a ditch this evening, you’ve heard that Special Counsel Robert Mueller has handed forth an indictment charging thirteen Russians and three Russian companies with meddling in our election! If you haven’t had a chance to peruse the 37-page document it really is a must see. We couldn’t help but wonder if our most prolific local Trumpster, Billy Shreve, you know the guy who wants to “Trump Annapolis” as a state senator, “unwittlingly” put forth any of this propaganda as listed in these two parts of the indictment:

Screen Shot 2018-02-16 at 2.34.27 PM

and…

Screen Shot 2018-02-16 at 5.16.14 PM

You bet your #MAGA hat he did!

First let’s start with this:

Screen Shot 2018-02-16 at 2.23.22 PM
Whoopsie Daisy!

Is “Unwitting” Billy’s middle name?

Because look at this parade of nonsense:

Screen Shot 2018-02-16 at 2.24.45 PMScreen Shot 2018-02-16 at 2.22.39 PMScreen Shot 2018-02-16 at 2.18.13 PMScreen Shot 2018-02-16 at 2.17.59 PM

We think we should get some kind of journalistic award for digging all this out! But, we will settle for you voting this creep out of office!

Epic meeting of February 6th: round 1

The yokels all missed the very beginning, only to tune in as Melanie Cox of the League of Women Voters was saying, “…give us a chance to speak.” The immediate assumption is that this is about the botched process for changing Frederick County’s representation to the Maryland Association of Counties (MACO). If we’re wrong about that, let us know and we will edit. We keep threatening to write a meeting up without watching it and see if we can guess what happens, because we know our characters purty stinkin well at this point. For example, Melanie Cox is a classy lady for whom dignity and propriety is important, so under the circumstances, it makes sense to leap to the conclusion that she would have liked to see a transparent process for the thing that…spoiler alert…comes to fruition later on.

Regular examples of totally predictable events: Budget adjustments. Everyone votes for those, except Billy the Abstinent. Then everyone votes to approve the minutes, except Billy the Obstinate. And you also already know that he couldn’t bother to speak into his microphone.

We have a presentation on a Mutual Aid Agreement with the Washington County Sheriff’s Department and the Hagerstown P.D. A member of the Sheriff’s department comes in our Sheriff’s stead, because… hold on to your little ACLU fold-up Constitutions…because Jenkins is out of pocket. Why? Because he is meeting with The President about immigration. Another of the Yokels had a boss who used meeting with the president as her euphemism for going to do her powder room business, which makes us snicker.

Mr. Yokel observes from the other couch, “The President of What???” We will not go into our skepticism of Jenkins’ qualifications on this subject, from the vantage point of living on the Mason-Dixon border. Riding Arpaio’s coattails onto Fox is all the qualifications the Dunning-Kruger Administration requires. Mr. Yokel still believes this tale is sound and fury signifying nothing, and since Newt Gingrich declared that facts are no longer a thing (and heck if he isn’t painfully right), we will all believe in whatever manner our emotional states’ require. The decision is in favor of a cooperative approach to providing for the common defence.

We move on to stripping M.C. Keegan-Ayer of her appointment to MACO so that Tony Chmelik can have it. M.C. is classy and abstains from voting on a matter that pertains to herself. Guess who doesn’t?! Both of them speak in favor of improving the process by which this is done. Great idea…

There’s a presentation about closing the intersection of Old Frederick Rd. at 15, for the sake of safety and traffic efficiency. Much more of this is needed in that general area–both in the safety and efficiency department.

We come to the First Calendar Readings, which is mainly the Throw Covfefe at the Wall and See What Sticks section, as far as Billy Shreve is concerned. Steve McKay said it best:

Council Member Billy Shreve is introducing a bunch of bills. I guess you can tell that it’s an election year. Billy Shreve – known to abstain on most votes – is all of the sudden introducing a handful of bills. Sorry folks, but after three years of his disagreeable nature, this doesn’t impress me a bit.

No one wants to speak, making us wonder if there are any redeeming qualities these bills may have if their authors cannot be bothered to enlighten us. Chemlik feels a bit of shame and takes up his own cause on the wood chipping bill. Isn’t local politics sexxxxxxy? Shreve is the definition of shameless.

Justin’s bringing sexy back Fredneck style.

And we are on a break!

 

It’s been awhile. Do you remember how to drinking game?

1l8o6u
Oh, Max is ready to play along. Can we get thinking cats for certain council members? They really need them.

 

It is sometimes difficult to tell by reading the agenda, but tonight’s meeting looks like it could be a real doozy. So take care of your liver. As always, this game is just for giggles. Actually participating in this to the fullest may result in death. You’ve been warned.

The meeting starts as always with public comments. We aren’t going to hold our breath on anyone actually showing up to speak. Just hold your beer, just in case.

A bunch of budget adjustments on first up on the agenda.  Billy will  complain about the library grant because everyone knows folks go to Borders instead, Kirby will kvetch about Citizens, blah, blah, blah. Mix yourself a kitchen sink.

Next up on the agenda, approval of minutes for 4 meetings. When Billy abstains mix yourself up a flaming asshole.

Now, it’s time to discuss a mutual aid agreement between the Fred Co Sheriff, Wash Co Sheriff and Hagerstown City Police. Where are the Fred City Police? Make yourself a missing in action while you ponder that.

Well, well well, it’s time to take a vote on the Maryland Association of Counties Legislative Committee County Council Representation. What? Didn’t Bud already executive decision this? Things could get snippy. Make yourself a T-bone in anticipation of Bud’s phone ringing with its Bad to the Bone ringtone.

What workshop items are in store for us? We don’t know what these are as they aren’t listed on the agenda. This might be a good time to hydrate with some good old water.

Time to look at a petition to close a portion of Old Frederick Road to improve the safety of Route 15. Pick your favorite drink and stick it in a cone when anyone complains about being inconvenienced by this proposal.

Lots of First Readings on the docket! Including those that Billy decided he better get going on before anyone brought up the fact that he did nothing but ABSTAIN during his entire tenure as a council member. Anyhoo, sip on your Lazy Daze while you endure this portion of the evening.

It’s time to vote on the dueling Forest Ordinance bills. With Bud’s voting patterns recently altered, we predict his version will be the one to make it through; Sip on your Forest Funk while you think of all the lost trees.

Before the break, they will vote to pull the Adequate Public Facilities bill, and then Billy will vote against going into closed session. If it isn’t too close to 7:00, we may get treated to Billy complaining about having to waste all his precious time at Winchester Hall.

MDX hearing is the last bit of business this evening. There’s a lot of opposition to this bill because it would theoretically allow a warehouse to go next to a school or a housing development. Mainly, it’s introduction has to do with the fact that the Jefferson Technology Park did not fill up the way the previous BOCC claimed it would. While you listen to the arguments mix up a pitcher of Nuclear Disaster, and think of all the bad things the Young BOCC have brought upon this fine county.

Public and council member comments can get a little dicey, however, you’ve been through enough for one evening.

4de3d3e0e7b7fc547127a8034a8898c3
Don’t end up like Jonesy.

 

 

Some good discussion and then a WTH is going on around here? Your January 23rd workshop in review!

238hc5

Bud starts off the meeting reassuring us that he supports any actions the council can take to stop human trafficking, so he still has that going for him! County Executive candidate Kirby Delauter is absent…again. We have to say we were so impressed with the presentation this evening. Kudos must go out to Jessica Fitzwater for brining this to everyone’s attention. So many knowledgable, articulate folks came in front of the council to give us information about this sickening problem. You can read the entire report here or just look at our highlights:

Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 4.41.44 PM
This is a heat map. What is shows are where the hotline calls regarding human trafficking are coming from. Notice that Frederick is in the red. That means there’s a lot of activity going on in our area.
Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 4.48.00 PM
This nice lady works for the State Prosecutor’s Office. She made us aware of the fact that many agencies do not have good information to pass on to victims of human trafficking. Something that this task force wants to remedy.
Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 4.53.16 PM
Oh, why oh why can’t our High Sheriff be more like Frederick Police Chief Hargis?(PSST, our High Sheriff was not in attendance this evening, probably because he was NOT in support of this task force, he believed that everything that could be done was already being done—VOTE KARL BICKEL!)

Frederick mayor Michael O’Connor told us some of the recommendations of the committee:

  1. Mandatory training for lodging employees to help identify human trafficking victims.
  2. Making sure all bodyworks establishments are properly licensed. (This is the only time Billy pipes up this evening-he wants to have a definition of bodyworks, we can only imagine what must have been going through that mind of his.)
  3. Penalties for landlords and tenants who knowingly allow human traffickers to operate.
  4. The creation of a survivor services fund created from the confiscated property of the human trafficker(s).
  5. Creation of signs that alert the public to what human trafficking looks like, both sex and labor trafficking. In other words: “If you see something, say something”!

Chief Hargis likened this problem to domestic violence 30 years ago. 30 years ago (and this is really hard to stomach folks), domestic violence wasn’t on anyone’s radar. It wasn’t seen as a law enforcement problem. That’s how the issue of human trafficking has been treated..as someone else’s problem. But it isn’t, its a human problem that all humans should be concerned about. Contrary to what the High Sheriff or Billy or Kirby would lead us to believe, this isn’t just a problem for the federal government to solve. If a victim is found in Frederick County, and there have been numerous cases here, it’s a Frederick County problem.  If you want more information about human trafficking visit the Polaris site.  And after you read that, don’t ever, ever forget that Billy Shreve said that there are groups in favor of this.  We don’t need a voice like that representing us in Annapolis.

Late in the day, the council agenda was changed to reflect this addition:

Screen Shot 2018-01-23 at 4.31.28 PM

There was no clickable link, so we didn’t have any other information to go on. When it came time to vote we get this breakdown:

Yay-Jessica, M.C., Bud, Tony, Jerry

Abstain-Billy

Partying it up in Punta Cana-Kirby

Now, we have no idea what in the world is going on with this! Anyone who can enlighten us please send us a line!