We want to apologize in advance gentle readers. We looked at the Tentacle again! We know, many of you warned us not to stare directly into that website’s noodley appendage! But how could we resist a title like this: Council Briefs-October 2015?  It’s like our crack cocaine.

You’ll remember a few weeks back when Kirby attempted to channel the dead ghost of Seinfeld and failed oh so miserably. Now it’s Billy’s turn to take a crack at the old creative writing wheel. And of course, without even reading a single word, you can guess how that turned out. Just horrible.

The tome features three disjointed rants. The first one is about the nursing home. But blah, blah, yawn. Get over it Billy! The only thing to note is that Billy will now refer to Mr. Doug Browning as Disco Doug (?!) and Jan needs to call 1-800-GAMBLER, because you know she’s really super addicted to spending everyone’s money. Stop laughing, this is a super serious problem people!

Now on to the pot! Billy really likes to refer to Jan and her Ivory Tower. And it’s all her fault that medical marijuana will only be grown in office parks and the State won’t tax it because it’s a medicine. And now we are super confused because does Billy want another tax? Isn’t he always rallying against taxes and how everything costs so much gosh darn money? And how are taxes not implemented by the State Jan’s fault? Silly us, we forgot everything is her fault. Leave it to Billy to fix our ignorance. Thankfully Billy also sounds the alarm that potatoes will soon be a thing of the past. Because, you know, vodka.

Lastly, more whining about the Letter to the Editor Linda Norris-Waldt wrote to the Washington Post a few weeks back. Frankly, it’s been amusing to see the outrage over this. It’s as though people didn’t even bother to read it in its entirety.  It’s either that or we have a huge reading comprehension problem in our county.  Frederick, while a very welcoming community, certainly has the ” we were here first and therefore our opinion is more valuable” attitude. Something we vehemently disagree with. You know when a person has a say in the community they live in? The second they move here.  There is no waiting or trial period. And if you don’t like it Billy, stop building so many houses! Because we can pretty much guarantee that most of the people buying those houses aren’t from Frederick County.