Ah, Billy Shreve, The Oracle of Fredneck, hath spoken

You may have heard there is a head-scratching controversy over the Native American war bonnet the Linganore Lancers are using for sportsballing events. And shockingly that controversy isn’t WTF does a feather headdress even have to do with “The Lancers” in the first place? Because the answer to that is absolutely nothing, so…weird.

Lucky for us, look who has chimed in on this matter!

Imagine our surprise upon noticing that Billy knows how to correctly spell both ridiculous and embarrassment. Is it because those terms are so often used in conjunction with him, or because autocorrect is a thing his phone can do? We will never know!

We have complicated feelings about Shreve, which we are pleased to freely express. He is so terribly ill mannered during council meetings, but he does give us so very many things to laugh at. We bet you did not know that just last Friday on mid Maryland live he gave us another. Billy Shreve claimed that most people probably don’t know that Gettysburg was a battlefield and just think of it as a nice drive through a park! He needs to hang out with different “most people,” if that’s a personal observation.  And so many cannons and obelisks and statues and multi story observation towers and people in your way stopping all over the place to get out and look at them to set that apart from your ordinary Sunday drive, if you just stumbled across the place, never having heard the Gettysburg Address. Which most middle schoolers we know are familiar with:

We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live.

We would be remiss if we did not slide in the observation that only one side’s soldiers died so that this nation might live. The other side died trying to kill it. So, there’s that. #FreedomofExpression

But, back to The Oracle of Fredneck. In case you are new around here, or just need a refresher as to why Shreve is both so funny and so infuriating, he has also previously claimed that it would be wasteful to enact programs to prevent erosion from the Monocacy Watershed–which creates deposition into the Chesapeake Bay–because the Grand Canyon was formed by erosion. This armchair geology nerd will spare you the stone cold details, but there is a lot going on here, and none of it supports Billy’s understanding of science.

He once tried to argue for the obsolescence of libraries (in spite of his obvious need to reap the benefits of a library) in favor of shopping at Borders. This was some time back, but not so far back that Borders hadn’t gone out of business a couple of years before that came to his attention, so he must not have been a very devoted customer. Frederick is simply not large enough that this fact should have gone unnoticed.

And less humorous a proclamation of his not so distant past: there are people both for and against human trafficking. You would think all of these teachable moments would have him thinking before spouting off, but then he wouldn’t be our Billy Shreve, At-Large County Councilmember. Spread the word, Frederick. We must be willing to sacrifice of our pointing and laughing opportunities for the greater good of competent public policy.

2 thoughts on “Ah, Billy Shreve, The Oracle of Fredneck, hath spoken

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