Grandstanding points removed! Whatever will Shrelauter do?

In this morning’s Political Notes report, Danielle Gaines informs of of what our local characters are up to. The first part of her column tells us Jan Gardner and Michael Hough have come together to merge their ethics bills into one piece of legislation. Now, we appreciate when our politicians on both sides of the aisle come together, since that is a rarity in these here times. However, we cannot help but think that Hough may be doing this to take away one of #kirbydelauter’s favorite talking points! For whenever Jan’s ethics bill enters the conversation Kirby immediately responds by pointing out that Hough’s bill was so much better and comprehensive. And, we all know that Hough would prefer Afzali in the County Executive seat.

Don’t ask questions you may not want the answer to Mr. Patches!


It also appears that Billy’s suggestion that motor homes be taxed as real estate property instead of as a motor vehicle didn’t gain any supporters as the final agenda, as reported by Ms. Gaines,  for the county delegation looks like this:

A final agenda was set this week and includes six main items:

  • A legislative priorities presentation from the Frederick County Liquor Board;
  • a discussion of ethics legislation from Hough;
  • potential requests for state bond funding;
  • discussion of the opioid epidemic;
  • potential legislation from the delegation; and
  • public comment.


And speaking of Billy. Remember his fit about how he didn’t get all the information he needed (like he ever reads!) and how he was forced to PIA the county government to get what he needed?

In November, I wrote that discussions among County Executive Jan Gardner (D) and the county’s legal team resulted in a decision to revisit the request Shreve said was not completed.

County spokeswoman Vivian Laxton said on Thursday that an expanded packet of information was delivered to Shreve’s office this Tuesday.

Oh dear, with all their talking points slowly disappearing with the wind, what will they barrage us with now?


Kirby uses “similar” Lennie Thompson quotes and other fresh nonsense….


We skipped around the recording of last night’s meeting. If you have two plus hours to spare, please knock yourself out. It was all devoted to a continuation of the hearing for the Urbana rezoning application.  Being subjected to one of the county attorneys cracking open a 1974 dictionary to read the definition of the word contiguous was too much to ask of your Lady Yokels. We do know that there wasn’t a decision made, final vote will occur on March 7,  and that our old pal Billy didn’t show up:

Is Kirby going to fall backwards one of these days?

Council member comments were fairly tame. Tony wants us all to know that he was out of the house from 6 a.m. -11:45 p.m. last Tuesday and almost didn’t have a chance to wish his twins a happy birthday. (Happy Birthday Tony’s twins!) But, he thanked everyone for their civility. Kirby had NO comments this week! Jerry wants people to come to Brunswick this weekend for BBQ and wooden train whistling. Jessica informs us that it is the 40th anniversary of the Frederick Arts Council and there will be a celebration at the Weinberg. M.C. applauds the sale of the Fredericktowne Mall and Bud makes sure all of our county employees know how much they are appreciated.

Kirby’s on our radar again. He’s a facebooking and writing his monthly diatribe for the noodley appendage. Curiously, Kirby thinks that Trump is worthy of some biblical quotations:

We almost chocked when we saw this in our inbox this morning!
This would explain a lot actually!

Who is the lion in this scenario? Not to mention wise and knowledgable!!!???  Because LOLLOLLOL, he cannot be speaking of Trump! But, then again, making connections is not one of Kirby’s strong suits:

We will never, as long as we live, tire of this!!!

It’s the first of the month and that means it’s time for the “Guest Columnist” (what in the world happened to Galahad Sweetbottom?) to shine. We won’t go over the whole Hough ethics bill as we have already covered it here and here. And The Frederick Extra had an excellent piece  about the whole Hough political nonsense here. We do think ,though, that  we are going to have to check on Kirby’s donations over the next year. It will be fun to compare/contrast his donations with Senator Hough’s.

Ethics nonsense aside, we would be remiss if we did not point out a few quotes that made us chuckle. First off, is this imaginary conversation Kirby has between the reader and himself:

Now, you may say: “Delauter, you’re crazy, maybe it was just an odd coincidence?” Really?

OH MY!! Well, he got the crazy part right. Kirby’s been stepping up his attempts at creative writing lately. We know that imitation is supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery, but when one does it so poorly it’s hard to feel good about it.

Kirby sums up said piece with a quote in the spirit of former County Commissioner John “Lennie” Thompson:

Similar to the words of former County Commissioner John ‘Lennie’ Thompson: If Jan wins, you lose.

We can’t help but wonder how Mr. Thompson is going to feel about Kirby using his old campaign slogan, If the Developers Win, You Lose, in this manner. Please let us know, Lennie.



Lock up your horses!! Kirby’s on a dead horse beating spree…again!


We aren’t going to have any horses left if this keeps up!


Our own local social media crackerjack  is re-hashing some old business:


First of all, since when is he all for paying teachers more?!?!  Does he think we all have amnesia or something?  BECAUSE OH NO KIRBY WE DO NOT! We all remember your years on the BOCC when you refused to fund FCPS above MOE. And we know that when you don’t fund above MOE then there are no raises to be had! He also bragged about how he, if elected to the council and appointed liaison to FCPS, would point out how the school system could do more with less every step of the way! So please, spare us the b.s. that you are all for raising teacher’s pay.

I am all for paying teachers starting….NOW!

Most of us know not to engage Kirby on his false equivalency concerning his not getting county contracts and Jessica and Jerry voting on a budget that includes money that will go to the school system. He appears to have some newbies and fellow dead horse beaters egging him on his comment section. But first, ICYMI, here’s one of the first graphics your Lady Yokels ever used that succinctly displays the difference between Kirby getting county contracts and Jerry and Jessica voting on the county budget:

So easy any idiot could understand!

Well, as is often the case, Kirby makes it all so much worse in the comments. First let’s go ahead and bash the guy we sit right next to during council meetings:


Hear that Jerry? Kirby plays the tiniest violin in the world whenever you try to explain to him….well probably anything. Save your breath from now on Council Member Donald, tis not worth it! Now he has some thoughts on the corruption of the County Attorney……


His next comment is in response to another person saying they would DEMAND answers as to why teachers can vote on the budget:


Oh the unholy corruption!!!! Come on Kirby take some pictures of these pick up paper basketball games!  We would ALL love to see that! And finally….


That’s right folks, the most dishonest people inhabit the walls of Winchester Hall. The MOST. We think someone doth protest too much! Perhaps this is some kind of projection he’s using. For don’t we often find those traits most abhorrent in others that we hate within ourselves? Kirby, you may not realize that you need to do this, but you really need to apologize to pretty much everyone you work with on the council. This kind of talk is not only rude, immature, vengeful and well just plain stupid. But, it isn’t very conducive to having any kind of functional government.

These sour grapes are fermenting.

They don’t look good on you.


In yet another example of being out of synch with the rest of the county, and out of touch in general, Cindy Rose has filed an ethics complaint against Terry Alban FCPS Superintendent.

The FNP article covering this complaint can be read here.

Our superintendent was recently named Superintendent of the Year for the state of Maryland, so we don’t think we are the only ones who think she is doing more than an adequate job.

We can’t help but feel the only one politicizing the award her son received at school is Rose herself.

She wasn’t able to win a seat on the Board of Education so she is continuing her vendetta against the Superintendent by filing this bogus sounding complaint.

Stop pushing your personal agenda on the rest of the county. You have other options such as private or home school if you really are unhappy. Stop wasting all of our tax dollars with your thousands of PIA’s and complaints!!!

If you are new here you catch up on previous Cindy drama here, here, here, here, and oh, there are more but we are tired of linking.

Thank goodness she didn’t win.


Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most unethical of them all?

Since we used the word ethics in our title, we’re sure you’ve already discerned we are talking about Ole #. Remember last year when he voted against the historical designation of  Trout Run, stating if anyone was for it he didn’t hear from them? We were surprised and enchanted that Kirby took his constituents’ opinions into consideration! Someone or something (Xenu?) got to Kirby between then and now because he’s whistling a whole different tune. Not only did he refuse to vote for the council’s answer to the lawsuit, he sent a few emails to the Trout Run’s lawyer. Take a peek:


In what world is it okay for a council member to send emails to the lawyer of an entity that has a pending case before the council?!?! Why the hell does he think it’s all fine and dandy to give Bruce Dean a heads up? And does he not realize that his emails on this very subject are in the public domain? If anything is deserving of an ethics violation, it’s got to be this. Seriously people, is Kirby purposefully trying to destroy the county? Does he love Xenu more than the taxpayers of today?

All so very wrong #!
All so very wrong #!
What do y'all think of #'s new look? You should send him an email and recommend Stitch Fix or something, because this needs more work.
What do y’all think of #’s new look? You should send him an email and recommend Stitch Fix or something, because this needs more work.

It’s poll time!

I has been a bit since our last poll. Let’s close that out and move on to our next topic. Looks like everyone thinks Billy boy would establish a special day for a special person. Thank goodness our polls are not scientific or based in any kind of reality for Frederick.

Stop crapping on everything!



There is so much going on, we can hardly limit ourselves to just one poll this week, but since we actually do have self control,  we managed to narrow it down.



Let’s take a break from the hard stuff-Your March 8th drinking game.


Whew! With all of  the meetings lately and St. Patrick’s Day coming up,we are going to go with an non-alcoholic version this week. Before you revolt, remember you can always add some Fireball, Vodka or whatever your poison happens to be.  We’re just trying to look out for y’all. Grab your agenda and follow along.

This is soooo boring we know. But if Billy abstains from the consent agenda, again, mix yourself up a Banana Bonkers.

The next item is to just change around some dates for the bargaining for the Fire and Rescue union.  Our First Responders’ unions are rarely met with the same vitriol that other unions face. But if someone uses this as an opportunity to go all anti-union on us slam back The Ghoul’s Green Drink.

Now it’s time for the public hearing on medical cannabis. We here at the yokel are for this. If there’s any talk about everyone turning into pot heads, sip gently on your Lean Green Smoothie.

All that’s left is public and council member comments. It’s the part of the evening where we usually get into trouble. So if you feel the need to pull out the booze we won’t judge.


Isn’t it ironic? No it is not.


Just like a bad Alanis Morisette song, Kirby doesn’t get irony. Let us help:



noun iro·ny \ˈī-rə-nē also ˈī(-ə)r-nē\
Popularity: Top 1% of lookups

Simple Definition of irony

  • : the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really think especially in order to be funny

  • : a situation that is strange or funny because things happen in a way that seems to be the opposite of what you expected


Now, we will allow that maybe Kirby thought he was being funny. However, it is in no way, shape, or form ironic that the county passed an ethics ordinance. Even if he didn’t like it it doesn’t mean it’s corrupt.  And this certainly was NOT the opposite of what everyone expected. When can we move on?



Amateur Diagnosis Day: Is there a reason Kirby can’t learn?

Hold on to your hats, folks. If you were wondering if we would drag out the dead horse trope again, we have decided to work a new angle at the local desk. An emerging theory behind the scenes.

There are individuals who seem to have no ability to learn from their mistakes. They will continue to repeat the same behaviour over and over again and never learn from the disastrous outcome. “Do You Never Learn From Your Mistakes? – You May Have a Behavioural or Brain Disorder.” April 1, 2o13

Just look at this list of symptoms!

“I’m not gonna sit here and be talked to like some kind of punk.” (mood swings, unable to accept criticism)

Surely this would explain numerous temperamental outbursts, inability to stop repeatedly making nationally embarrassing missteps in use of social media, and the fact that we (yet again) need to publish this graphic from, oh, like the first week we started blogging.

 Imagine if you had to be Farell Keough's teacher. Does that illustrate how hard this job is?
Haha, the original caption was this, in response to some LTE nonsense: Imagine if you had to be Farell Keough’s teacher. Does that illustrate how hard this job is? (And,  it is still perfectly relevant, since  guess who showed up last night to keep yapping about this himself–amateur diagnoses all around, then. Cheers!)

Now, we did enjoy Kirby’s explanation of how much it chaps his hide to endure the implications that that county employees would be willing to grant people special favors. Obviously he’s just watching out for the little guys, here, like any of us would. The same blowhard who stormed out in a huff because some county employee requested that he stop interrupting an explanation of the need for equipment for his department! Impressive that he has adopted this new chivalrous attitude! Wheeeeeee. To think only of others at a time like this, when he is being persecuted by this targeted law–Kirby’s Law, some would say. It is really curious, now isn’t it, that so many other Maryland counties have some version of Kirby’s Law already enacted. Why does all of Maryland, maybe all of America, hate Kirby so much? It’s probably Rachel Maddow’s fault…


Kirby admits that he has no point, defending himself against the implication that he depends upon the government for his business success, belying the the Oliver Twist posturing he likes to adopt about how this is affecting his livelihood. Which is it, dude? Pick one position, please. Don’t get greedy.

This is what happens when council member comments are done extemporaneously. You make no sense.
This is what happens when council member comments are done extemporaneously. You make no sense.

As awesome as it is that Kirby is such an upstanding citizen servant, to the point that we don’t even need to worry about any appearances of impropriety, let’s think a moment. What if the next guy elected is not as squeaky clean as Mr. Hashtag? Hmmmm. Riddle us that, oh man of many contradictions.



Black is white, up is down

We have a problem in this county. We have a problem in this country, but we will stick to the county. It’s marginally easier to deal with, no thanks to this madness.

A core group of people are not interested in productive discussions, compromises, or learning about anything that falls within the gray area of an issue. All sincerely held beliefs, all the time. No matter what is brought to the discussion, some people defiantly refuse to grasp what should be by now obvious. The same conversation stalls. Steve McKay’s excellent LTE takes a stab at the same old same old regarding the teachers on the council and the false equivalency to W. H. Delauter & Sons. He even has some new things to think about, if you’re the sort to think about things. And you are, aren’t you?! We love you for that!

At the Frederick County Council Watch Facebook Group you would get the impression that virtually all of the county agrees that Bud is the worst in every way, and that Kirby should get to do whatever he wants no matter how abusive or potentially corrupt. He and Blaine, who is still stoking the fire from across Church St., and Billy “don’t waste my time with emails from constituents” are our only hope and salvation, regardless of the topic at hand (the horror). This is in spite of a fairly bipartisan coalition of those who do not agree with any of this and find their shenanigans embarrassing. Remember the Republicans for Jan Gardner? They do, too, but they don’t qualify anymore. There is only one way to be a Republican, and all of those people who would try to introduce a counterpoint are to be shouted down immediately. There are many alleged “RINOs” vilified every bit as vehemently as anyone who has a D after their name. If not more so, considering the constant insults flung at Bud Otis, and to (hopefully) a lesser frequency some of the Republican members of local action groups. The concept that a Democrat is not an amoral maniac bent on destroying everything is too far in the abstract to even contemplate. This is in spite of the fact that many of us from both sides of the aisle agree on many things. This is the beauty of local politics. One that they would gladly endanger.

A few lonely commenters risk abuse by introducing points in the discussion proving not everyone agrees with all of the frothing whiz poppers. Rubberneckers can watch slack-jawed as they float ideas like, “Kirby Delauter brought the community together,” by petulantly and publicly refusing to donate to Catoctin Athletics (or anyone else in the community). Being an unrepentant jerk who strives to create a vacuum of decency needing to be filled is not an act of heroism. The community set out not just to fulfill the need for a donation, but to prove that our county is also full of nice people who don’t get hashtags and tantrums picked up and distributed by the AP.  It is astonishing that this apparently requires time and effort to clarify. Perhaps if people are packed together in a sealed box inhaling all of one another’s toxins it affects the lucidity of their thinking.

Somewhat off topic, but it seemed unfair to make Kirby look like the only unrepentant jerk. Look forward to some ranting about how awful Jen Fifield is and how justified Billy is for being rude (better that than PC, right Trump fans?).
Somewhat off topic, but it seemed unfair to make Kirby look like the only unrepentant jerk. Look forward to some ranting about Jen Fifield and how justified Billy is for being rude (at least he isn’t PC, right–because obnoxious equals heroism or something).

Furthermore, we were treated to a genuine work of art found here as an opinion column. A brief visit to the Frederick Council Watch Clusternut Festival will reveal some direct contradictions to this silliness. Connoisseurs of irony will find it delightful, if it doesn’t depress you too much. Is there a term yet for accidental satire? If not, there’s another vacuum to fill.