Your “All Politics Is Local” drinking game!

Time to be fierce!

It’s been a good long while since we’ve done a drinking game. This evening’s debate seemed like a good time to get back into the game! You may be asking why a local political blog is creating a game based on a national debate, and that answer to that, in the words of Speaker Tip O’Neill, is all politics is local. This couldn’t be more evident than it is today. You can use suggestions from this page to concoct your poison, or just get your favorite beer or wine. Remember this is for entertainment purposes only! If you play this game to the conclusion of the debate you will die!

Everytime you hear a word listed below or see an event described take place take a sip. And we mean a sip! This debate is going to be a doozy!

Take it easy Midge, we need you alive for November!

Where, oh where has our High Sheriff gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?

The answer to that question is a big ,”YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW”!

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That’s right Fido, sometimes it’s better not to know!

 

On the very same day that a horror of a human being decides to massacre innocent people AND praise the likes of Dylan Roof, Donald Trump, and Anders Breivik, our “leader” decides to hold a travesty of a public ceremony.

What kind of ceremony you ask? How about one in which he vetoes Congress’ bill that stated his emergency declaration was some line stepping b.s.!

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Time will tell if Congress has the courage of their convictions to override this veto!

At this ceremony, Trump declared that white nationalism has not increased under his regime AND called many immigrants “stone cold criminals”! ON THE VERY SAME DAY ALMOST 50 IMMIGRANTS WERE KILLED BY A WHITE NATIONALIST!! A white nationalist that praised President Trump. Let all that sink in while you stick your mouth under the nozzle of a box of wine. And lest you think he had to do this today, he didn’t. He has 10 whole days per the U.S. Constitution.

What does this all have to do with the High Sheriff?

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Is he on the White House speed dial these days? Every time the President needs some patsy to stand against Mexican and South American immigration he’s right there in all his finery! A sheriff from a small town in Maryland!

 

We can’t help but to be jealous of the fact that the New Zealanders have a leader who actually knows how to lead. Someone who doesn’t blame “both sides” when something terrible happens. You can read her whole statement here, but here’s some of our favorite lines:

These are people who I would describe as having extremist views that have absolutely no place in New Zealand and, in fact, have no place in the world.
While we do not have any reason to believe at this stage that there are any other suspects, we are not assuming that, at this stage. The joint intelligence group has been deployed and police are putting all of their resources into this situation.
For those of you who are watching at home tonight, and questioning how this could have happened here, we — New Zealand — we were not a target because we are a safe harbor for those who hate. We were not chosen for this act of violence because we condone racism, because we are an enclave for extremism. We were chosen for the very fact that we are none of these things. Because we represent diversity, kindness, compassion, a home for those who share our values, refuge for those who need it. And those values, I can assure you, will not, and cannot, be shaken by this attack.
We are a proud nation of more than 200 ethnicities, 160 languages. And amongst that diversity we share common values. And the one that we place the currency on right now — and tonight — is our compassion and support for the community of those directly affected by this tragedy.
And secondly, the strongest possible condemnation of the ideology of the people who did this.
You may have chosen us — but we utterly reject and condemn you.

 

 

Take note orange man, that is how you talk when white nationalists show up. Not a condemnation of both sides.

Did Billy get into the medicinal marijuana?


Man, Billy must have gotten into some good stuff, because these Tweets he made could have only been crafted while under the influence of something!!

Where is Here?!?!?! And what must he have imagined because from where we are sitting it’s been one scandal after the next!

The most curious one is this Retweet from one of the world’s most terrible women:


What is Billy saying here? He wants zero immigration and he thinks most white people do as well because Ms. Crazypants shared some statistics?! Remember all this folks when this crazypants runs for Maryland Senate next year!

Well, ain’t that rich?!

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In the very real possibility that you may have decided to lay in a pool of mud after seeing our Narcissist-In-Chief’s Praise-a-thon first cabinet meeting, let’s get you up to speed to what our very own AG Brian Frosh did yesterday!

According to the Washington Post, AG Frosh joined with the District of Columbia to sue President Trump for accepting money from foreign investors. While he was president!! Something that is a big no-no! You see the Constitution  has this pesky thing called the Emoluments Clause that pretty much prevents that:

No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States: and no person holding any office of profit or trust under them, shall, without the consent of the Congress, accept of any present, emolument, office, or title, of any kind whatever, from any king, prince, or foreign state.

This morning, the FNP ran a story in which Danielle Gaines asked some local politicians what they thought of this lawsuit. Take a peek because it is chock full of so much goodness, however, we are going to focus on what No-Holes-Barred Delegate (and rumored CE candidate) Kathy Afzali had to say.

Afzali said Democrats’ questions about Trump’s business dealings are the result of their own lack of experience in owning and operating businesses. “We look at private-sector work as a positive,” she said of fellow Republican party members.

 

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“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain
There you have it people!!! All these questions about Trump is due to y’all’s ignorance of business!! Don’t you know how it works? You take money from well…wherever, even thought it may VIOLATE the U.S. Constitution and then abracadabra BUSINESS! All fixed, move along folks, nothing to see here anymore!

Kirby uses “similar” Lennie Thompson quotes and other fresh nonsense….

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We skipped around the recording of last night’s meeting. If you have two plus hours to spare, please knock yourself out. It was all devoted to a continuation of the hearing for the Urbana rezoning application.  Being subjected to one of the county attorneys cracking open a 1974 dictionary to read the definition of the word contiguous was too much to ask of your Lady Yokels. We do know that there wasn’t a decision made, final vote will occur on March 7,  and that our old pal Billy didn’t show up:

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Is Kirby going to fall backwards one of these days?

Council member comments were fairly tame. Tony wants us all to know that he was out of the house from 6 a.m. -11:45 p.m. last Tuesday and almost didn’t have a chance to wish his twins a happy birthday. (Happy Birthday Tony’s twins!) But, he thanked everyone for their civility. Kirby had NO comments this week! Jerry wants people to come to Brunswick this weekend for BBQ and wooden train whistling. Jessica informs us that it is the 40th anniversary of the Frederick Arts Council and there will be a celebration at the Weinberg. M.C. applauds the sale of the Fredericktowne Mall and Bud makes sure all of our county employees know how much they are appreciated.

Kirby’s on our radar again. He’s a facebooking and writing his monthly diatribe for the noodley appendage. Curiously, Kirby thinks that Trump is worthy of some biblical quotations:

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We almost chocked when we saw this in our inbox this morning!
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This would explain a lot actually!

Who is the lion in this scenario? Not to mention wise and knowledgable!!!???  Because LOLLOLLOL, he cannot be speaking of Trump! But, then again, making connections is not one of Kirby’s strong suits:

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We will never, as long as we live, tire of this!!!

It’s the first of the month and that means it’s time for the “Guest Columnist” (what in the world happened to Galahad Sweetbottom?) to shine. We won’t go over the whole Hough ethics bill as we have already covered it here and here. And The Frederick Extra had an excellent piece  about the whole Hough political nonsense here. We do think ,though, that  we are going to have to check on Kirby’s donations over the next year. It will be fun to compare/contrast his donations with Senator Hough’s.

Ethics nonsense aside, we would be remiss if we did not point out a few quotes that made us chuckle. First off, is this imaginary conversation Kirby has between the reader and himself:

Now, you may say: “Delauter, you’re crazy, maybe it was just an odd coincidence?” Really?

OH MY!! Well, he got the crazy part right. Kirby’s been stepping up his attempts at creative writing lately. We know that imitation is supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery, but when one does it so poorly it’s hard to feel good about it.

Kirby sums up said piece with a quote in the spirit of former County Commissioner John “Lennie” Thompson:

Similar to the words of former County Commissioner John ‘Lennie’ Thompson: If Jan wins, you lose.

We can’t help but wonder how Mr. Thompson is going to feel about Kirby using his old campaign slogan, If the Developers Win, You Lose, in this manner. Please let us know, Lennie.

 

 

Who had a little too much Halloween punch last night?

Hello faithful readers, we hope you had a very Happy Halloween. In this last week leading up to the election, we thought y’all could use some comic relief. An alert Facebook reader sent this down the ole Yokel line today:

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Either can we! The tears won’t stop coming down!

Can you imagine if he were our County Executive! We know, Halloween is over and we shouldn’t be scaring you any longer. I think we are oh so glad and relieved that we managed to sidestep having our very own John Leopold in Frederick. We’ve also been made aware that some of the more…how shall we say…”sophisticated” among us have advocated writing Blaine’s name in for the BOE race. Because sure! What better role model for our kids and school system than that guy! How many sex scandals until you are ineligible for the school board? We forget.

Who could be better? Oh yeah! These three:

3 and done!
3 and done!

A day ending in y. Again.

Yes, folks, Billy is again doing something stupid.

Today there is a letter to the editor printed in the Frederick News Post vilifying everyone but himself for the incident. ICYMI: he inappropriately hosted and photographed the Boy Scouts in the house of our county government–the one run by Democrats and Republicans alike–all adorned with Trump campaign materials. The nerve of this man child, really.

He insists that everyone else apologize and throw a pizza party for the scouts. Which really, someone should start a gofundme for that. We are obviously too lazy to run fundraisers as nonpologies; we have too much fundraising to do for our own kids’ activities. ProMomTip Billy: Costco sized pizza is $10 at Costco. He has abdicated the opportunity to go high, just like  when his pal did the very same thing and threw a misguided tantrum and lashed out at the Catoctin High School athletics program because he was mad about county government ethics rulings, so other people picked up the slack and found a way to fill the void.

Once again, Billy seems just like Trump. Not my fault. You guys made the mistake. You owe everyone. BigLig.

Speaking of which, keep an eye on little Billy today if you are a local Republican. Trump will be up in Gettysburg at an invitation only event, and if you’re not careful Billy will be up there loaning all your money to a guy with a long standing reputation for not paying people back.

Yes, Billy. It's really this simple.
Yes, Billy. It’s really this simple.

 

What is Billy qualified to do?

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If you follow our posts, you know we have approximately infinity examples of Billy’s incompetence as a council member. Let’s call it a Treasury of Billy’s mistakes. Today we have been made aware that his incompetence also extends to his role as Chairman of the local Republican Central Committee.

Danielle Gaines reported in today’s paper  on the occurrence of this delightful incident:

The Frederick County Republican Central Committee’s chairman was planning to lend thousands of dollars to Donald Trump’s campaign in Maryland, where the billionaire presidential candidate faces long odds of winning.

The chairman, Billy Shreve, said the planned expense was canceled. But while it was considered, the nearly $12,000 loan would have represented a significant majority of the committee’s coffers, campaign finance and central committee records show.

Instead, the Maryland Republican Party picked up the expense — because the donation would have violated Federal Election Commission rules. The county central committee made an initial payment, later refunded, without registering an FEC number and without disclosing the expense within the federal campaign finance reporting system.

Such a shock  that Billy wouldn’t understand the Federal Election Commission Rules. I mean really, we didn’t expect that he was going to actually read, or ask, or investigate the proper way to make a donation, did we?  And it’s not clear whether or not the other members of the central committee were keen on spending all the dollars on Trump:

Messages with three members of the Frederick County Republican Central Committee were not immediately returned on Wednesday evening.

Two other members — Darren Wigfield and Mike Bowersox — referred comments to Shreve.

And why would he spend $12,000 on a candidate who has 0.1% chance of winning in Maryland. Aren’t there other candidates on the ballot that money may have been better spent on? The Maryland Republican Party, who hadn’t planned on making this donation, instead donated the money. What was that chairman’s response to what Billy had done?:

“It was something people wanted, so we went ahead and did it …,” Cluster said. “Look, central committees — sometimes they get excited about things.”

Excited?! Kinda like a Labrador Retriever excited? Or a 4 year old child who hasn’t learned any self control kinda excited?  Because honestly Billy could fit into either category. We hope beyond hope that when the next election shows up he is shown the door. At least his position as co-chair of the elect Trump campaign of Frederick County is surely coming to an end.

It sure does!
It sure does!

Sexual harassment is no joke. @#%%^#!

This morning the newly lauched thefrederickextra.rocks broke a story about allegations of sexual harassment filed against Bud Otis by Billy Shreve. You can read all the details here .

 

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The bar is so freaking low already. It’s practically on the floor.

 

 

Sexual harassment is a serious charge and we lady yokels find no humor in this situation. What we do find humorous is thinking how this situation would play out if the two people involved were different. Let’s pretend that Billy Shreve is practically any woman and that Bud Otis is Donald Trump. What would be happening right now? Probably a Tweet storm! These here are some actual real tweets from Mr. Big League himself.

 

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Just substitute @nytimes with @frederickextra

 

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In our scenario, it’s not hard to imagine these tweets.

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I guess we can’t help but wonder if Billy feels differently about his hero now that he has felt the sting of sexual harassment. In his own words “It felt dirty. I felt sick. I was mad! I never want this to happen to anyone again.” We all remember seeing Billy in all his glory . So time to put your money where your mouth is and stop backing Trump. That might be hard for someone who is the co-chair of Trump’s local campaign. But continuing to support Trump is continuing to support someone whose actions sure seem pro-sexual harassment to us. How’d you like them apples?

To make matters, well, more hypocritical…this is a man who has tried to increase awareness of the groups in favor of human trafficking. Can anyone tell us what color magnet goes on your car for that? Maybe we can get one for our newly sensitive Councilmember.

It wasn’t a challenge Billy!!

LITERALLY!
LITERALLY!

Your Lady Yokels have been sitting around the Old Yokel Headquarters pondering whether or not Billy has taken our critiques of his abominable behavior as a challenge to do worse. Maybe, just maybe, he reads our interpretation of what he does and thinks, “You think that’s bad, just wait until I put a bunch of Cub Scouts up on the dais of Winchester Hall and have them hold a Trump/Pence sign!” If that sounds awfully specific, that’s because that is a thing that actually happened. It’s all over Facebook, making the rounds on various pages. We hear that the National Council of Boy Scouts is very upset because this is a clear violation of their guidelines. And,we also have it on good authority that the County Attorney is now looking into whether or not Billy violated any laws. Shame on the scout leader for not being aware of Boy Scout policy. And double, no triple, shame on Billy for not knowing (or more realistically, not caring) that politicking is not allowed in Winchester Hall. Maybe it’s the influence of his hero Donald Trump that is making him lash out. Or maybe he’s just an obtuse ideologue that really doesn’t care about anything other than his Trump agenda. He certainly didn’t consider how this picture would affect the boys in that troop. So, Billy, you can judge beauty pageants like your hero, defend him on the radio by telling us to look at all the skyscrapers, but we here in Frederick County demand a little more from our leaders. Stop being terrible all the time, just stop!

Right this very second!
Right this very second!