Tag: Shrelauter

Shrelauter and the Sheriff were wrong? Volume: Elevenbillionity: Human Trafficking edition!

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More importantly you have annoyed us!

In this month’s edition of Baltimore Magazine there is a very interesting and horrifying article about the human trafficking problem in Maryland. Did y’all know that Maryland ranks fourth in the nation when it comes to human trafficking victims!?!? Also, this article points out that most human trafficking victims are: 1. U.S. Citizens and 2. Under the age of 17. The only failing of this article is that it left Frederick County off the list of Maryland counties that have formed a Human Trafficking Task Force.

We feel the need, at this point, to take a trip down memory lane to revisit the process that created this task force. First, kudos to Jessica Fitzwater for spearheading its creation and to Frederick Police Chief Hargis for recognizing the need for county services to be coordinated to help these victims.

What’s the opposite of kudos? Condemnation? Dishonor? Disregard? Because that is what Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter and Sheriff Jenkins all deserve for being against this. Let’s first go back to our June 29, 2016 post when Billy said this about the task force:

“Billy then says that there are lots of groups both for and against this issue, at which point we have to feel so grateful to Jerry Donald for saying (in the appropriate appalled voice) what we were shouting at our screens, “THERE ARE GROUPS THAT ARE FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING?!?!?!?!?!” To which Billy mutters, “Well yah…depending on how you define human trafficking…” Good grief. The Confederacy lost, right? That passes 5-2 and we know you know which marionettes didn’t vote for that, right?”

Yes, you read that correctly, Billy said there are groups in favor of human trafficking. So, both he and Kirby voted AGAINST the creation of this task force. All this happened not too long after their buddy, Blaine, was arrested after using backpage.com to find his “masseuse” ( a website idenifited by the Baltimore Magazine article as being the Craigslist of human traffickers).

Let us not forget that Chief Hargis’ polar opposite, the High Sheriff, also spoke out against the creation of this task force. According to the FNP article covering this meeting Jenkins was quoted as follows:

“I’m always leery when the local government gets involved in something that really is not a local government issue. This is a national, regional issue and law enforcement at all levels are working on it. There are already state task forces, federal task forces,” Jenkins said.

He said his main concern is that he doesn’t want the task force’s work to veer into areas already being addressed.

“I don’t want to see it become a recommendation or a mandate for law enforcement to do certain things or [for the task force to] make recommendations that are unrealistic,” he said.

So, if human trafficking occurs in Frederick County, which it most certainly does, is it not a local issue?  So very confused as to why the Frederick City Police recognize the need for such a task force but our county sheriff does not!

 

If you missed the June meeting on this, it is worth watching, because you would hear all of the heart wrenching arguments for why this is necessary. You will also get to see good law enforcement at work when the Frederick Police department explains how they need additional resources to help people that they suspect are victims of human trafficking. Also, two of your Lady Yokels attended a lecture at FCC last year given by an actual human trafficking victim, please read our reaction to that here. Let us all remember, come next year’s election, what these guys stood for. Rumors are swirling that Billy has his eye on the Maryland Senate and Kirby on the County Executive office. Their voting record and words more than speak for themselves.

Come on people! Don’t you know that ethics is Kirby’s trigger word?!?!

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There’s ethics talk on tonight’s agenda!  Better batten down the hatches!!! This week we are going to try something different. After describing a part of the agenda, we are going to share a Jack Handey quote that hopefully illustrates how we feel about Shrelauter. Grab your agenda, fire up the FCGTV and let’s hope we don’t all get an ulcer. Keep a bottle of your preferred beverage on hand, and just take a swigg as needed. We are going with the honor system on drinks this week.

We start off the same way every month. Pubic comments, voting on the agenda, budget adjustments and then approving previous minutes. Billy, who we hear is considering a run against Ron Young in the next election, thinks it’s all fine and dandy to waste everyone’s time with his abstentions. Mankind is mysterious isn’t it?

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Next up with have some County Executive appointments to confirm and FY 2018 Operating and Capital Grant Resolution presented by Nancy Norris of the Transit Services Division. If there’s anything negative to be said, well, this is the best we can do for you:

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Here’s where things can go South. It’s the first reading of a bill to appoint an independent council to nominate people to the ethics board. Refer to this quote if there are any rumblings from the far sides of the podium:

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Next, there’s a new bill on solar facilities. That’s right Billy did tell us that solar was dead in Frederick County. He also told a big fat lie and said he saw billboards up in Central Pennsylvania thanking Frederick County  for outlawing solar panels. We wonder if Billy would believe this:

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Next, we have the reallocation of the Recordation Tax .  This funding needs to go back to our parks and schools where it belongs. This is followed by a public hearing on the Agricultural Preservation easement applications. It seems as though the Recordation Tax issue will be squared away nicely, but we imagine we are going to hear something about land grabbing when it comes to the preservation issue. It makes us want to scream, when they get things so very wrong. Speaking of screaming:

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There’s a break until 7:00, (keep your trap shut Billy!) and then there’s the chance for the public to comment on two separate issues. First up, is a bill regarding bond authorization.  Then we are off and running on the bill regarding farm distilleries and tasting rooms. We don’t see Tony’s competing bill on the agenda so hopefully that issue has been settled. We end up, as we always do, with public and council member comments. We’ll leave you with one final thought since we know this is the part of the meeting where Shrelauter likes to shine:

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Could Shrelauter be wrong about how very terrible everything is?

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No need to cough up a hairball Smuckers!

Into the Lady Yokel mailbox comes an interesting announcement. Curiously, Frederick County has retained its Triple A bond rating:

How can this be? Billy and Kirby and their birds of a feather are constantly reminding us how terrible everything is. Businesses are being run out on a rail, taxes are being spent willy nilly, back door conspiracies lurk behind every corner. We just don’t get it. I mean who are we supposed to believe?

Happy to sad in less than 60 minutes -Your Yokel breakdown of the second half of last night’s meeting.

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The first part of our reconvened meeting is beautiful. The ever diplomatic and articulate Rick Harcum explains the bill that is up for a public hearing this evening. You see folks, back in 2010 the BOCC re-allocated the Recordation tax fees from agricultural preservation, parks and school management and put it into the General Fund. At that time, they added a Sunset Provision that said this would all end in five years time. Mr. Harcum praised this act as one was necessary in lean financial times, and as a result of having a Sunset Provision, also recognized that times wouldn’t always be tough.

Fast forward to 2014, the BOCC amended this bill to deter funds from the nursing home to the General Fund and according to the county attorney, wiped clean everything in the 2010 bill,including the Sunset Provision. This proposed bill will re-allocate those funds back into agricultural preservation, parks and the schools. Jerry later remarks in his council member comments, that he believes that all this was done so the BOCC could say they achieved the constant yield. The people who came to speak were in favor of re-allocating the money back. The only naysayer was Tony. He implied that Mr. Harcum was being dishonest in his characterization of these funds as since they were placed in the General Fund they could be allocated to parks, agricultural preservation, and schools if the County Executive so wished. Mr. Harcum then replied that puts them in competition with everything else in the budget.To which Tony still says is misleading. I think we all know that when money is specifically mandated for a purpose in the budget then we recognize as a community, how important that purpose is to us. But kudos Tony for trying to muddy an issue that was crystal clear.

Now it’s time for the sad time of the meeting…council member comments.

Lots of head shaking from Kirby tonight. It’s his Night O’ Apologies! He wants us all to recognize how sad it is to be in business in Frederick County. He tells the sad tale of a business owner in New Market,  salt of the Earth people, who after 27 years of selling mulch and top soil are having their lives ruined by the county. Just like the wedding venues and Mr. Natelli. RUINED. He also laments the fact that for the past 7 months or so the county hasn’t been able to find someone to fill the empty Emergency Management Position. “Everyday”, says Kirby, “things get worse and worse around here.”

Billy claims that there are billboards throughout Coal Country PA that state: “Thank you Frederick County for voting against Solar!”. We think this is probably a huge lie, but hey snap a pic Billy so we can see the evidence. We’ll admit it if we are wrong! If it is true, then the billboard owners have been misled as the solar bill has been tabled pending amendments. Billy also laments the sad state of affairs that business owners have to put up with in this county. He’s also sure that Bud is corrupt because he won’t fall into any of Billy’s question traps.

Jessica,after saying some nice things about the Girl Scouts and county staff, lists all the ways Frederick County has been friendly to business. Namely:

  1. The AstraZeneca deal
  2. Tax credit for manufacturers
  3. Small business tax credit

She also reminds Billy that we have not voted against solar power. Which is a curious thing for him to be confused about.

M.C. has to spend her time refuting the bookends. Says she would rather find the right person to fill the Emergency Management Services position then to just hire the first person off the street.  And that New Market business that Kirby is claiming the county has ruined?  Well, a neighbor of theirs filed a complaint with the county since they have been  operating outside of proper zoning. And when the county receives a complaint, they have to investigate and uphold county law. M.C. says that the county is looking for ways to work with the business. So perhaps things aren’t as dire as Mr. Negative would lead us to believe.  She also reminds us to lock our cars, as the police say most car thefts are a result of unlocked vehicles.

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A Shrelauter paradise!

M.C. ends her comments reminding the naysayers to respect their fellow council members. She gently tells them they we all spend a lot of time working on these issues and to disparage people just because they come to a different conclusion just isn’t right. While we agree with you M.C., we don’t see that happening from that bunch any time in the near future.

 

 

Hashtag humblebrag and other local loco

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Have you asked yourselves what the local locos are up to lately? Are you sure you even want to know? Spoiler alert: probably not!

Oh you complete bumbling fool. This was not your shining moment, just like your idiot president.
Oh you complete, bumbling fool (but thank you, yet again, for proving it on Facebook). It’s kind of weird that you didn’t notice that this episode was not your shining moment, but having failed to realize what that was all about, it is less shocking that you failed to notice what the rest of us–even on Fox news–did about yesterday’s circus.

Today Kirby is posting on his page about how he attacked the media and afterward was trending higher than Kanye. Head, meet desk. WHAM. Would Councilman Delauter like to recall a couple of things? When this occurred, he was getting schooled for his First Amendment failure by the national media. Remember that time Snoop diagnosed Kanye (need we spell out that Snoop Dogg live reporting Kanye’s mental break is NSFW?) and it was the funniest thing evah! Wouldn’t we love to hear him weigh in on this situation…Councilman Delauter may also want to check himself, considering the fact that Kanye is also never trending for doing something right!

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Look! It’s Yeezus on a Cracker!

Speaking of delusional dolts on Facebook, there’s also this gem from Shrelauter’s other half:

Yes, all the media opportunities are surely drying up as Watergate Part Treason plays out before us. Once again with the not knowing any history and the repeating variations on themes.
Yes, all the media opportunities are surely drying up as Watergate Part Treason plays out before us. Once again with the not knowing any history and the repeating variations on themes.

 

 

The mystery is solved!!!!

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Council member comments are now up and running as a part of the February 7th meeting. We’ve been speculating wildly as to what the hell Billy did to cause the county AV department to have to go into full editing mode. The mystery has been solved:

Billy claims that we have a rogue inspector roaming through the county randomly inspecting businesses! And this very naughty inspector is costing these businesses, which have been cited for violations, tens of thousands of dollars!!! Billy says that this individual, that he NAMES out LOUD, is “out of control!” He needs to be stopped! Billy is called out by both Bud and the county attorney for disparaging a county employee by name in a public forum, to which Billy screams, “Strike that from the record.” We know someone we would like to strike from our county government.

Billy is also very agitated that while he was out globe trotting, the council would not allow him to conference call in concerning the MTC. To him it is “sad that we have a government that operates this way.” One cannot help but wonder if this call was to take place while he was soaking up the rays with Blaine in Costa Rica. Nevertheless, Billy really hopes that there are some serious repercussions!

Kirby is also worth mentioning if for nothing else, his wild conspiracy theories.

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Everything is terrible!

First off, now Kirby’s not accusing anyone mind you, BUT if county employees are aware of the bargain basement price some of the county machines are being auctioned off at..well ya know they could grab them up and then sell them off for a pretty penny!! Let’s be clear though, he is NOT aware of  ANYONE doing such a thing. But hey, what if? It’s very interesting to him.

Next on the conspiracy ticker, Jan Gardner. Did you people know that for as little as $50 you could get yourself a seat on the Planning Commission?  Everything, and he means EVERYTHING is for sale around here! “Gotta pay to play”! Kirby then starts ticking off some donations that Jan received and guess what? We are looking Kirby’s up as well! If he wants to start the donation listing game we will be more than glad to participate! What set Kirby off on the donation trail? Well, Michael Hough’s last minute ethics bill. You know the one that was submitted on February 1st with a February 3rd turn around date? Not the ethics bill that was properly vetted by the public, just something Hough scratched down last minute. If you are asking how Kirby found out that Jan was so unethical, you need look no further than our frenemy Red Maryland. That’s right a blog just like our own!(Come on Kirby, where’s the love? Don’t we get a mention?) Too bad that we couldn’t see Billy’s face when Kirby brought them up because man oh man they don’t like the Shreve!

As usual, the other council members had positive things to report, along with the unenviable job of telling us why everything that came out of Shrelauter’s collective jaw is so very wrong indeed. And for that, we thank them!

 

Local Yokels examine qualifications for YUGER and #MAGA things

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After we’ve been honing our skills covering the nutty as fruitcake shenanigans of our local dingdongs, most particularly Shrelauter and their cuckoo cruise director (that would be former Commissioner and one time pseudogubernatorial candidate Blaine Young, in case you’re new around here), your locals are beginning to wonder if we could not be of better service to our fellow citizens by getting ourselves into the White House Press Corps.

We started to hear noise about tossing out the traditional media and adding a bunch of yahoos who don’t even bother to retract falsifications. This job sounds easy-peasy (not that that’s really our style–if we screw up, we’ll be the first to admit it). But, doesn’t that take the pressure off? Now that the executive branch of the United States seems local level loony, there are really no longer standards of decorum to adhere to at all. We’ve already been primed for this, so we should really have a chance to give it a go.

Of course, we would need to go incognito, because we mostly hate people. We don’t really want to walk among the teeming masses a lot of the time, so we try to stay in the shadows. That Guy Fawkes mask is already taken. How would we dress? Scream mask seems appropriate. We know we’re adversarial, but being freakishly conspicuous, plus adopting ridiculous and campy schtick really could be an asset to the presidential ratings gameshow. Hello Kellyanne playbook, we saw your goofy but oxymoronic Georgian England American inaugural outfit!

 

We are seriously full of wicked awesome ideas.
We are seriously full of wicked awesome ideas.

And now we’re getting all “intersectional” with Cam Harris tying our area to the national but artificial news (or alternative facts or whatever the crock we’re calling doublespeak now). The icing on the cake was learning that Trumpkin’s propaganda minister has had a five year long spat with Dippin’ Dots for no discernible reason, and this nugget alone is reason to suspect that our talents could definitely be put to use on a larger platform. Probably we’ve said too many critical things already and therefore we are bad fake news and not good alternative facts. Sad!

Drunk Agenda: Game plus Standing Rules for 2017!

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Standing Rules for the remainder of 2017:

Take a swig of anything you’ve got for the regular stuff: Billy abstains for no obvious reason, Billy and Kirby eschew yea and nea for yes or no just to behave poorly, Billy votes no on mundane stuff like the minutes, the agenda, going into closed session, or budget adjustments.

***Very, very important 2017 Wild Turkey addendum: if at any point during this year either half of Shrelauter introduces their own legislation, participants must consume an entire bottle of Wild Turkey in one sitting***

If you find yourself with the irresistible urge to repeal and replace one of the council persons serving as bookends on the dias with a more knowledgeable and engaged public commenter, mix a Papa Joe’s Healthcare (this is for everyone’s mental healthcare, in lieu of a better plan).

If any council member ever again mentions Donald Trump as a role model or by way of example, drink a Pink Pussycat. *Cautionary tales do not count.

Worst ad campaign ever, but irresistible to suggest that we give Billy and Kirby the bird.
Worst ad campaign ever, but irresistible to suggest that we give Billy and Kirby the bird.

And today. If our Republicans find a reason to complain about M.C. and Jessica’s solar energy collection bill, have a Midnight Sun.

BUT if the same subset suddenly finds themselves in favor of taxes because the assembled collection of Democrats appear to favor the small business tax credit program, make a Bullshit Sunrise instead. Full disclosure: this contains disgusting Sunny Delight, so maybe drink neither and save your liver function for the other stuff you’re gonna need it for this week.

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Namaste and all that jazz, y’all.

 

Best frenemies!

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So obviously you’ve probably noticed we have Republican friends and Democratic friends, but we ourselves are pretty libby lib. People have been bemoaning the polarization in America today, and it isn’t hard to find examples of that, but around here more often than not there are things at the local level that we can find to bridge the gap. And one of those things is Billy Shreve!

Just look at how our counterparts over at Red Maryland think the exact same thing about Shreve that we do! Namely, he is “asinine,” plus this part that sounds just like something we might have written:

…it has been proven time and time again this year that when it comes to being a member of the Central Committee that Billy Shreve can always fail to meet the lowest of expectations.

He kinda loses us when he goes on to call the Houghs, “a popular State Senator and his wife…” That’s a bridge too far for us, but hey, we will stay tuned to whatever Red Maryland wants to dish up for either half of the Shrelauter faction.

This part we probably should keep on the down low, but there are some words of wisdom here that ring true (along with the implication we again agree with that Billy is a man-child):

It’s fortunate that Shreve is not intending to serve another year as Chairman because it’s clear that Frederick County, a county that is vitally important to the re-election of Governor Hogan in 2018, needs an adult to lead it for the next two years.

But, neener neener, I am the new chair of the Republican Central Committee. 2016 is probably gonna be my year. heh heh heh
An oldie, but a goodie.

 

How to become politically involved

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So many people are fired up and need a way to channel their energy instead of be fearful and mournful, now that we are confronting the fact that Idiocracy was apparently a documentary predicting the future of America. Our inbox was blessed by a kind local reader who is relatively new to the area and seeking suggestions as to how to become more involved with the political community.

Truthfully, we may not be the best advisers on the subject, since our main role around here is to point and laugh. We hope to provide reader friendly content that helps people keep interested in such fascinating topical issues as zzzzzzzzzzzoning lawzzzzzzzzzzz. Fortunately for the Yokel Ladies, Shrelauter can even make this stuff dramatic and appalling sometimes. We would also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that “we the people” run the damned circus that we have turned this republic into. Being an involved citizen–as this reader seeks to do–is the best course of action. Watching council meetings to familiarize yourself with the goings on of our community (we promise, this is the best reality TV around) writing LTEs to the real newspaper, and very most importantly interacting with your elected officials at every level are all great ways to get started. However, none of those will necessarily put you into the local community in a “boots on the ground” sense. It’s just a start that will familiarize you with what we are dealing with around here, but these boots were made for walkin’ and we are getting the distinct feeling from the women here, there, and everywhere that a lot of boots are lacing up for a march on Washington.

As moms, we also find PTA to be a great way for moms to get started. Just look at Sarah Palin, newly tapped for Department of the Interior, after her start as a PTA mama grizzly hockey mom, part term governor, matriarch of a sanctimonious barroom brawl, and reality show star (thanks be to the original maverick John McCain, who is totally not a hero, according to President Elect Middle Finger). You can go absolutely anywhere from there! Apparently.

No Brawndo necessary, thank you very much.
No Brawndo necessary, thank you very much.

For other young moms looking to find a path forward right now, we would love suggestions from readers. We would really love it if Councilmember Fitzwater has the opportunity to offer an idea, but she did just return from her maternity leave and is probably very, very busy right now doing a teaching job–which is like a job and half for real–and a “part time” council member job, and being mother to an infant. Honestly, we don’t know how she does that.