We cannot take a half hour nap this week without some steaming dung getting caught up in an oscillating fan. Flagrant imbecile Kirby Delauter has hired Cameron Harris, noteworthy creator of fake news, as his spokesperson. Harris used this side gig while he was working for Del. Vogt to bring in, at one point, $1,000 an hour in ad revenue (NYT). Vogt fired him. No word on whether or not he is still living in Vogt’s basement (awkwarrrrrd). Obviously a person of such upstanding moral character was determined to be a perfect fit for the Delauter campaign!
But, wait. There’s more. The Frederick News Post has published the push poll Kirby was running to try and suggest in the “just asking questions here” way that Afzali was a liberal supporter of terrorists. Fake News Harris seems pretty proud of the manipulation. True colors and all. Afzali’s annoying as heck (remember when she anonymously texted Sheriff Jenkins to be all Mean Girls?) and has done plenty of ridiculous stuff, but this is not a contest of the absurd. Or, wait, is it?
After we’ve been honing our skills covering the nutty as fruitcake shenanigans of our local dingdongs, most particularly Shrelauter and their cuckoo cruise director (that would be former Commissioner and one time pseudogubernatorial candidate Blaine Young, in case you’re new around here), your locals are beginning to wonder if we could not be of better service to our fellow citizens by getting ourselves into the White House Press Corps.
We started to hear noise about tossing out the traditional media and adding a bunch of yahoos who don’t even bother to retract falsifications. This job sounds easy-peasy (not that that’s really our style–if we screw up, we’ll be the first to admit it). But, doesn’t that take the pressure off? Now that the executive branch of the United States seems local level loony, there are really no longer standards of decorum to adhere to at all. We’ve already been primed for this, so we should really have a chance to give it a go.
Of course, we would need to go incognito, because we mostly hate people. We don’t really want to walk among the teeming masses a lot of the time, so we try to stay in the shadows. That Guy Fawkes mask is already taken. How would we dress? Scream mask seems appropriate. We know we’re adversarial, but being freakishly conspicuous, plus adopting ridiculous and campy schtick really could be an asset to the presidential ratings gameshow. Hello Kellyanne playbook, we saw your goofy but oxymoronic Georgian England American inaugural outfit!
And now we’re getting all “intersectional” with Cam Harris tying our area to the national but artificial news (or alternative facts or whatever the crock we’re calling doublespeak now). The icing on the cake was learning that Trumpkin’s propaganda minister has had a five year long spat with Dippin’ Dots for no discernible reason, and this nugget alone is reason to suspect that our talents could definitely be put to use on a larger platform. Probably we’ve said too many critical things already and therefore we are bad fake news and not good alternative facts. Sad!
We previously reported on the connection between Fake News Creator Cameron Harris and our State Delegate Vogt and favorite good ol’ son Blaine Young. After looking around on Twitter we found a crap load of Tweets this guy wrote. And Great Sappho, is he just a giant a hole or really, really stupid? You be the judge:
This morning The New York Times ran a story about a deplorable young man by the name of Cameron Harris. Why is he deplorable asks thee? Well, short on cash, morals, and human conscience he bought a Christian web domain and made up a bunch of stories. Most popularly he concocted a tale about some poor sap who just happened upon a bunch of ballots in some out of the way warehouse. And lo and behold these ballots were already filled out with Hillary Clinton’s name! It’s amazing to us that anyone believed this crap, but hey the guy knew his audience. According to the NYT piece, Mr. Harris would have smeared Trump if he had the chance, but of course it wasn’t as lucrative. He knew Trump supporters would just eat this up! When all was said and done the young whippersnapper made over $20,000 spreading his lies and nonsense. But hey! What’s the prob peeps? Why so uptight? According to old Cam-cam:
“Hardly anything a campaign or candidate says is completely true.”
He’s just doing as they do! So how does this story connect to Frederick County? The path is two fold. First of all, according to the FNP, this gentleman was in the employ of our very own Delagate David “Boots on the Ground” Vogt. Who, when learned of his dishonestly, shred his badge into a million little pieces. No, no, no, Delegate Vogt will not tolerate the dishonesty!
Secondly, is this awesome connection that our great friend at Frederick County Fact Check stumbled upon:
Can’t wait to find out who else he has connections to in these here parts! Stay tuned!