Which part of the First Amendment does Shrelauter like?

Billy Shreve has been using his social media vocally to criticize the NFL over the past few days. What’s that about? Most likely he’s upset that players are getting horrible degenerative brain diseases caused by repeated concussions. Or maybe this story about the Seahawks’ Michael Bennett chapped his hide and he wants to see some action. Surely it couldn’t have anything to do with peaceful protests or the national anthem. And now, this:

Surely he means to publicly criticize China for curtailing the free exercise of religion.


In case a refresher is needed, the First Amendment in the Bill of Rights of the United States Constitution reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Since his other half is famous from sea to shining sea for threatening to sue a reporter who used his name–the name of an elected public official–in the newspaper without his permission, we are beginning to wonder what parts of the Bill of Rights they like. Is it just the shoot ’em up part that the NRA likes to quote, but also leaves out some of the words when they do? Aren’t the conservatives the constitutional “originalists?” Which unsurprisingly seems like it’s only a concept held dearly to people who have always been considered 5/5ths of a person.

We would like to leave you with a little music to enjoy on this fine fall day. May we all  remember that America means we pledge daily to the ideals of liberty and justice for all.

Billy laughs at violence; abhors free press–the sequel!

Why do our conservative council members have such an issue with The First Amendment? Probably no one needs this recap, but #KirbyDelauter is a minor celebrity for threatening to sue a reporter for using his name–as a public figure–in the newspaper without permission. Not to be outdone, his co-moron will not shut up on his Twitter. Much like the leader of their cult of crass stupidity. Et, voila…

GAH! These people are horrid.

We have noted ourselves that they act like they are in high school and everything is a game of dominance. It’s like those who peaked in high school (if at all) keep trying to turn Frederick County into their high school drama. Josh Barro of Business Insider tackles this subject quite well.

[their]..ideal of masculinity that might be imagined by a socially maladjusted 15-year-old and tolerating in our political leaders the sort of behavior that a guidance counselor would never accept.


Drawing it out with an apt analogy about BIG CAVEMAN STEAL UR LUNCH MONEY (a nod to Laura Ingraham’s dismissive Tweet on the subject) so long as you aren’t the Sad! Loser! whose money was taken. These people, Billy, Trump, Laura Ingraham, anyone who thinks like this: they are what’s wrong with America. Get your act together and grow up. All of you.

Hashtag humblebrag and other local loco

Have you asked yourselves what the local locos are up to lately? Are you sure you even want to know? Spoiler alert: probably not!

Oh you complete bumbling fool. This was not your shining moment, just like your idiot president.
Oh you complete, bumbling fool (but thank you, yet again, for proving it on Facebook). It’s kind of weird that you didn’t notice that this episode was not your shining moment, but having failed to realize what that was all about, it is less shocking that you failed to notice what the rest of us–even on Fox news–did about yesterday’s circus.

Today Kirby is posting on his page about how he attacked the media and afterward was trending higher than Kanye. Head, meet desk. WHAM. Would Councilman Delauter like to recall a couple of things? When this occurred, he was getting schooled for his First Amendment failure by the national media. Remember that time Snoop diagnosed Kanye (need we spell out that Snoop Dogg live reporting Kanye’s mental break is NSFW?) and it was the funniest thing evah! Wouldn’t we love to hear him weigh in on this situation…Councilman Delauter may also want to check himself, considering the fact that Kanye is also never trending for doing something right!

Look! It’s Yeezus on a Cracker!

Speaking of delusional dolts on Facebook, there’s also this gem from Shrelauter’s other half:

Yes, all the media opportunities are surely drying up as Watergate Part Treason plays out before us. Once again with the not knowing any history and the repeating variations on themes.
Yes, all the media opportunities are surely drying up as Watergate Part Treason plays out before us. Once again with the not knowing any history and the repeating variations on themes.



Call to Action: respond to First Amendment nemesis #KirbyDelauter

Hey, so we already had words for y’all about local press and freedom of press and what Kirby thinks and how he and his pal Trumpet can stick their Twitter fetish where the sun don’t shine. Please indulge any liberties with the paraphrase. We grow monumentally impatient with these super special teaflakes.

If you didn’t catch it, Sam Bee’s latest Full Frontal (the one with Glenn Beck!!!!) has some harsh to dish out on people who can’t be bothered to notice a local issue because it doesn’t scroll under their nose with their social media headlines (a mission we’ve been endeavoring to remedy). And truly we do recommend that you check out Kirby’s social media. What on Uhhhhrth would we do without that?

And we have called upon you to pay attention to the legitimate media. We believe in being localvores–especially with regard to media consumption. They can’t be the best they can be if you expect them to do their jobs for free. This is our hobby, yo. And as such, we don’t have to do it if we don’t wanna, and we are certainly prepared to say we are not sitting around dreaming up ways to view Shrelauter’s behavior in a kinder light. They are idiotic, petulant children. That’s our story. We’re sticking to it. (Although that does sound like a fascinating mental exercise, trying to put a human [legislative] speed bump up on a pedestal.)

Yummy! Lemonade!
Yummy! Lemonade!

We have a fun suggestion we hope you will like: please make a donation to Katherine Heerbrandt’s web based media outlet, The Frederick Extra. She has years of experience as a journalist, and a great reputation as a fair and competent reporter. Of news. Locally. And we all know through the forces of market competition, the more people out their competing, the better the services should be (to view a contrasting example, note that Comcast has the same user interface it did in 1997). To make it the best possible treat, you could even make that donation in the name of one “esteemed” #kirbydelauter. He’s a national treasure, after all!

That last one’s a link sure worth revisiting, given today’s circumstances…

Way to go, Kirb-o. Never start learnin’.