Afzali inspires us to marvel, “Who is going to win this primary?”

We almost forgot about this dingbat, who is seemingly threatening would be donors to her county executive campaign. “I am a witch. Give me money, or I will torment you with evil conjurings!”

Kathy Afzali wants help
She really does need help.

What is with this clown show we are treated to by a too large number of local Republicans, anyway?

Bud Otis, for the love of Pete. Why, oh why, have you seemingly realigned with team dingleberry and the darlings of developers?

Aside Afzali we have a county executive candidate who hates free publicity–Kirby “don’t talk about me in the paper” Delauter, crafter of flowcharts, follower of none.

His sidekick DeploraBilly Shreve, who is consistently and appallingly incompetent on a vast range of subjects, and is running for Maryland Senate.

Plus, we will forever have Billy and Kirby’s fascinating friend who shall not be named (who we are worried/thrilled to consider, based upon rubbernecking over his not subtle enough Facebook musings, that he may be considering a don’t-call-it a-comeback return to public life with the launch of a sexxxpert advise [sic] podcast in honor of Human Trafficking Workshop Week next week). Gross. #partyoffamilyvalues

Added bonus. Also running for CE, we have Regina “The Bullshit Stops Here” Williams. We would tell you more, but her website reveals no official positions on anything. Gracious. Afzali has issues. Kirby has issues. We know you have issues, too. You sued the county.

It’s rather sad to note that Afzali seems like the most serious contender here, having at least had the forethought to think about the issues, and she really is a hot mess. Remember the time she had a spat with the sheriff, and was texting him that he was a wimp and a phony?

Go ahead, madam. Align yourself with the wicked witch. It’s a perfect accompaniment to your Pay No Attention to that Man Behind the Curtain president. This clownshow is a plague.


You’re sure no Ephelba. We’ll be over here defying gravity, thankyouverymuch.


Billy Shreve shares “ideas” about women

Oh, yo. Look at this mental dust mite.

Monumental whatthef*#@ery. Also, if you can’t see it because the images are being cranky it is a Twitter tweety that has a bunch of statistics about men being mentally ill and prone to violence, and concludes that women have it better for sharing the planet with the violent and troubled other half of the population. Ahem. Also, let’s femsplain it to you: you know that women have been asking to be included equally in all aspects of the military and are not trying to place the responsibility of public safety on y’all men? The holdup has been a cocktail of “you’re not wanted here screwing up our camaraderie” and “we can’t stop you from getting raped, for some reason.” Ugh. Gah.

As you may or may not be able to tell from the image above, there is some rando on the internet who apparently does not have a social science background at all (and in all likelihood is some Russian poseur stimulating Billy’s antifeminist leanings). Billy Shreve is propagating his thoughts about how high statistics about suicide and homicide and warfare impacting men means that feminism is ridiculous. First of all, the way it is explained in sociology 101–where youngsters first learn about Émile Durkheim’s first ever study of the concept, self-evidently titled Suicidewomen are less prone to suicide because they have all the responsibilities of keeping a brood of offspring alive and cared for resting on their shoulders, because they are likely married to Papa Berenstain Bear, who is insultingly idiotic and has no idea how to feed or clothe his cubs or stay up all night nursing them back to health or figure out where their doctor or orthodontist’s office is or what their teacher’s name is, or like know offhand the location of a grocery store to pick up bread on the way home after six months of living in this city. So maybe the big dumdum part has some realism on occasion. #notallmen, yes, we know…we know. We do like our husbands.

Michelle Wolf has a super fantastic special on HBO right now called Nice Lady where she covers the important subject, “actually you can’t have it all,” and that’s really well worth watching. ***SPOILER ALERT: she talks about how it is impossible to be a good mom, and so she isn’t going to try, but also how she wishes she could be a good dad because the bar is so much lower and you get to avoid the issues presented with the absolutely unrealistic expectations placed on women in a judgmental country with no public policy to support working women and their families. This is because as a woman you have to have the kid, feed the kid, better be by breast but for goodness sake not in public; also go back to work (like yesterday), you can pump in the bathroom, and don’t take time off to take care of the kid that is constantly in need of both well visits and sick visits especially for a couple of years, and why are you distracted from your performance at work this week, and hurry up go have sex with your husband he’s going to find it elsewhere if you don’t, “And honey, why don’t you smile??????” (We don’t smile because people like Billy Shreve exist; also sometimes we do smile because people like Billy Shreve exist, but he does seem to become increasingly infuriating according to duration of exposure.)

Did Mark Twain really say this? Who the heck knows. We would Google it, but we don’t care. We didn’t even Google to see if the statistics in the original tweet were correct; odds are high that they aren’t.

Dare we suggest it might actually be better for men, too, if women weren’t so stressed out? And no doubt for their children as well.

Furthermore, we think it is super rich that this is coming from Billy “victim of sexual harassment” Shreve. You know, sometimes sexual harassment isn’t a snide remark, but a thing that happens to everyone from auto workers to actresses where they have to actually have sex with the boss if they want to keep their job. For Pete’s Sake! Read a flipping newspaper once in awhile. You might even learn from reading that 55% of women victims of homicide are killed by a domestic partner, where this is only true of about 5-7% of men. Isn’t that fascinating? Isn’t this mysterious information? Men are violent, and (according to Billy and co.) women are lucky to be murdered by men rather than the ones doing the murdering. What weird logic.

You know what else, Billy Shreve once said people are in favor of human trafficking, most likely because his bestest good buddy is a big ol fan of hookers. Don’t ever forget that one.

Man, this turned into a long rant. Yeah, we do have a bug up our asses, actually. Thank you for reading installment eleventybajillion in, “Do not reelect Billy Shreve to anything.”

December 5th Meeting: Part 2 is almost all good except when Krampus shows up at the end

The good part of the meeting concerned the Veterans Affairs Council. Many eloquent and distinguished people–most, if not all, of whom are veterans themselves–came to talk about the beneficial things such a council could accomplish for the many veterans in our community. It was truly a testament to the goodness of mankind in a week where most sane people have been wondering if and when we would see such benevolence again. (Guess who is going to harsh the vibe? You know, right? You do.)

The Ghost of General Burnside Judge Scott Rolle spoke of what he has witnessed firsthand in his courtroom to say that it would be good to have a  centralized way to locate resources for veterans: help with jobs, housing, counseling, what have you. Awesome. And we’re just kidding about the facial hair. It looks cool.

The next speaker also spoke of the need to have something “be the connective tissue,” especially for those who are impacted by physical or mental costs from their service. We so agree. This seems very similar to the discussion with regard to the needs of human trafficking victims, but we realize this issue will receive uncontroversial support, whereas we have heard about how some people are not opposed to human trafficking, and yes we will keep bringing it up whenever we can tie anything at all to it, because there are also mental and physical costs to being enslaved and sold.

Anyway, we are getting persnickety again, and really it was a heartwarming discussion that (thank you Craig Tyler—tip of the tricorn here) also emphasized that some of us chose to settle here in Frederick County and make roots, and we do so because the community is engaged and caring, and has good governance as a result of an active community that sees a need and does something about it. Another speaker mentioned that government can do more than disjointed groups or individuals. Hallelujah. Some people do recognize the purpose of “we the people” promoting the general welfare and all of that Founding Fathers forming a more perfect union jazz.

We particularly appreciated the Retired Lieutenant Colonel and Iraq veteran from the Marine Corps who spoke specifically about not forgetting women veterans, who have higher rates of both homelessness and suicide, and people tend to think of the veterans as males.

Absolutely everyone who spoke made excellent points, and we appreciate your service to your country and your continued service in this community. This was an inspiring process to watch, and that was a true privilege today.

There was also a discussion on rezzzzzzzzzzzzzoning. We cannot promise we will revisit that, even though it looked as though it may have been one of the better such discussions you could want to hear.

Then the regular nice people were nice, although Bud was testy, which he has been lately…for some odd reason. And in honor of December 5th, nasty old Krampus Billy showed up at the end to get all cranky about commenters not being civil and say we should do away with the code of civility since no one cares about it. Newsflash: disagreeing with Billy is not uncivil. It’s a sign of sanity (that was uncivil, but we don’t even feel bad). Seriously, we assume he was referring to the public comments criticizing people who are rude to county employees, and if he took that is a personal attack, there must be some reason he might have thought it was directed at him.

Nikolaus krampus.jpg





Photo credit: By unknown, not stated in the source – “Wiener Bilder” 6/12/1896, Public Domain, Link



Remember that some people are for it and some are against it

And no, we are not talking about the downtown hotel. Notice that we never talk about that? It’s because y’all are nuts. You decide which of y’all we mean. We’ll pop the popcorn. We are talking about something much more disturbing than that, and that is: human trafficking.

Does anybody remember the name of that guy who was in charge of the Trump campaign in Frederick County? He is currently on our County Council, but since he never does anything worth talking about, we’ve practically forgotten he exists. Apparently someone said that that guy is not going to run for reelection, and instead intends to do battle with Ron Young for his seat in the State Senate? Worst Wii game ever. This guy (a.k.a. King of the Deplorables) once argued against the need for a task force on human trafficking, because some people are in favor of it. Who was that? It’s something like Timmy Reeve or Bobby Sleeve or something.

King of the Deplorables

We were just thinking about that guy and his “ideas,” because of this one weird trick connection the Trump campaign has to child sex trafficking. In an epic “doth protest too much” maneuver, the same team that set out to do violence in defense of Hillary’s imaginary basement pizza parlor child sex slaves is really apparently sometimes in favor of child sex trafficking, if the Trump campaign chair in Oklahoma is any indication…Be warned, the story is really quite upsetting. Yeah, we do actually know that our local chucklehead has virtually nothing to do with this, but we will simply never get over his glib statement acknowledging unremorsefully that some people are fine with this. Who does that? Oh, yeah. We remember now: Billy Shreve.

Billy is an idiot.
The Frederick County Republican Party must be so proud of this darling wing nut.


What say you, deploraBilly? Human trafficking refresher course.

According to Mrs. Nepotism Kushner, a priority of the Trump administration is going to be the human trafficking problem. Excuse the mandatory cynicism, but this is probably horse pucky, given how preoccupied the administration is. At least Ivanka knows it sounds good. Add it to Jared’s to-do list. Is this awkward for Trumpy Billy and his cohort? “Constitutional” Sheriff Jenkins, most bigly among them, who preferred to make this a federal issue over a local one. This, even though the purpose of a county task force was so that local agencies could learn to work together to identify victims and punish criminals. And of course, you probably already know the bonehead statement Billy said about some people being in favor of it. “It” being human trafficking, not the task force!

Since that is about the most disgusting thing we can imagine, we are not going to let it go. Never, ever. Particularly since he is allegedly an aspiring State Senator. Thank you, Ivanka. Gurl, props where props are due for this latest installment of Billy Shreve Sucks the Most.

Please consult this non-curated toss-up list of reasons never to vote for him.

Shrelauter and the Sheriff were wrong? Volume: Elevenbillionity: Human Trafficking edition!

More importantly you have annoyed us!

In this month’s edition of Baltimore Magazine there is a very interesting and horrifying article about the human trafficking problem in Maryland. Did y’all know that Maryland ranks fourth in the nation when it comes to human trafficking victims!?!? Also, this article points out that most human trafficking victims are: 1. U.S. Citizens and 2. Under the age of 17. The only failing of this article is that it left Frederick County off the list of Maryland counties that have formed a Human Trafficking Task Force.

We feel the need, at this point, to take a trip down memory lane to revisit the process that created this task force. First, kudos to Jessica Fitzwater for spearheading its creation and to Frederick Police Chief Hargis for recognizing the need for county services to be coordinated to help these victims.

What’s the opposite of kudos? Condemnation? Dishonor? Disregard? Because that is what Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter and Sheriff Jenkins all deserve for being against this. Let’s first go back to our June 29, 2016 post when Billy said this about the task force:

“Billy then says that there are lots of groups both for and against this issue, at which point we have to feel so grateful to Jerry Donald for saying (in the appropriate appalled voice) what we were shouting at our screens, “THERE ARE GROUPS THAT ARE FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING?!?!?!?!?!” To which Billy mutters, “Well yah…depending on how you define human trafficking…” Good grief. The Confederacy lost, right? That passes 5-2 and we know you know which marionettes didn’t vote for that, right?”

Yes, you read that correctly, Billy said there are groups in favor of human trafficking. So, both he and Kirby voted AGAINST the creation of this task force. All this happened not too long after their buddy, Blaine, was arrested after using to find his “masseuse” ( a website idenifited by the Baltimore Magazine article as being the Craigslist of human traffickers).

Let us not forget that Chief Hargis’ polar opposite, the High Sheriff, also spoke out against the creation of this task force. According to the FNP article covering this meeting Jenkins was quoted as follows:

“I’m always leery when the local government gets involved in something that really is not a local government issue. This is a national, regional issue and law enforcement at all levels are working on it. There are already state task forces, federal task forces,” Jenkins said.

He said his main concern is that he doesn’t want the task force’s work to veer into areas already being addressed.

“I don’t want to see it become a recommendation or a mandate for law enforcement to do certain things or [for the task force to] make recommendations that are unrealistic,” he said.

So, if human trafficking occurs in Frederick County, which it most certainly does, is it not a local issue?  So very confused as to why the Frederick City Police recognize the need for such a task force but our county sheriff does not!


If you missed the June meeting on this, it is worth watching, because you would hear all of the heart wrenching arguments for why this is necessary. You will also get to see good law enforcement at work when the Frederick Police department explains how they need additional resources to help people that they suspect are victims of human trafficking. Also, two of your Lady Yokels attended a lecture at FCC last year given by an actual human trafficking victim, please read our reaction to that here. Let us all remember, come next year’s election, what these guys stood for. Rumors are swirling that Billy has his eye on the Maryland Senate and Kirby on the County Executive office. Their voting record and words more than speak for themselves.

Giving Tuesday, Yo!

Over the weekend we highlighted the Emerge Maryland Virtual Bath Bombs to support women candidates. Suggestion: if you are participating in Giving Tuesday, perhaps you might like to give a Bath Bomb in the name of #Kirby Delauter, if you are feeling the super saucy holiday Local Yokel spirit! And in that vein, we have a few other ideas.

A nice lady from Stop Child Predators wrote an LTE commending the Council decision to set up a task force on human trafficking. It would be an excellent idea to send them some $$$ in honor of our most ridiculous former county commissioner/prostitution aficionado/aspiring D5 councilperson.

A donation to the NAACP in honor of Tony Chmelik. Why? No reason. No reason at all.

And last but not least, a donation to Frederick County Public Libraries in honor of Billy Shreve.

Middle finger!
Middle finger!