Time for your favorite game: Doubling Down on the Dumb Dumbs with Billy Shreve!

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If you’ve read our coverage of the past county council meetings you know that Billy has advocated for a People’s Court. We’ve talked previously about how way out of the scope of his legislative powers this idea lies. But alas:

Doubling down on the dumb ideas does not make them smart Billy!
Doubling down on the dumb ideas does not make them smart Billy!

So let us try to explain this to you Sir! The County Executive is the Executive Branch of the County Government. The Executive Branch is responsible for enforcing the laws. The court system is the Judicial Branch. The branch responsible for solving disputes between citizens and the county, citizens and citizens, etc and so on. Your job, as a county council member, falls under the LEGISLATIVE BRANCH. You are responsible for making laws! You have the power to craft legislation. If this still isn’t clear watch these two videos:

http://www.pbs.org/video/2365005484/

Or if you prefer going old school, there’s always School House Rock. Maybe a song will make it stick!

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Now your Lady Yokels are going to have some fun imagining what would occur if such a People’s Court should come to fruition.

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Why Billy Why?

Let’s imagine an upstanding citizen can no longer take the fact that his neighbor keeps using his side yard as a toilet!

Shreve: What brings you here to Frederick’s People’s Court?

Plantiff Hatfield: My no account next door neighbor will not stop peeing in his yard. I’ve called Jan Gardner, but for some reason she won’t sit in the bushes with me and wait for it to happen again.  It’s frightening the missus and making an unsightly brown patch that has migrated onto my property.

Defendant McCoy: It’s my property! And my wife said I could do it!

Shreve: You said you called Jan Gardner and she refused to come out? See how unresponsive our county government…

County Lawyer (Or anyone who paid attention during their high school civics class): If I may interject. There are public decency laws in play here. Next time the offending neighbor is urinating you have the option to call the Sheriff. The Deputy can then issue a citation.Then the offender will have to go through the already well established court system to receive his punishment. Have you tried that route?

Plantiff Hatfield: Billy you said you could help!

Case Closed!
Case Closed!

Just imagine that scenario over and over and over again no matter what the complaint! Billy you can certainly help the public when it comes to changing or making a law to remedy an ill. However, you do not have the power (or the temperament, or the experience, or the knowledge) to adjudicate disputes!!!! Maybe schedule a lunch with Scott Rolle so he can explain it all to you!

The legacy of one Chairman Shreve.

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Almost one year ago we brought you the news of Billy’s coup to become leader of the local Republican Central Committee.  Well, it seems that ol’ Billy is going to be stepping down as chairman. So that begs the question: How did the Republican Central Committee fare under Billy’s steady hand?

 

That good! Quelle Surprise!
That good? Quelle surprise!

According to an article in today’s FNP, not well at all! First there’s talk of rewriting bylaws to remove an elected member of the committee. What kind of motivation would they have for raising this issue right now? Are there lots and lots of reasons? Yes! There are!

Some of the bigger ones may stem from continued concerns about campaign finance issues, which were reported in an FNP article from October 12th. Issues which required the Maryland Republican Party to bail out the Frederick County Republican Central Committee to avoid having the Federal Election Commission put them in the naughty corner.

This is no biggie to Billy, though. He has finally admitted that he’s actually a progressive at heart. Who knew?! In fact, the entire Republican Central Committee embraces change. They roll with in on the regular. Learn something new every day:

“Through the course of time, we change things,” Shreve said. “… In general, the central committee, since I’ve been on it, has had turnover of about one person per year.”

That’s right folks! We change things! Tis the way of the world. And finally, who can parse out what Delegate Afzali is saying here? Maybe she is getting at another small problem with the local leadership that lead them to consider coup d’etat part deux.

“The Republican party locally just lost every local race on the ballot and, instead of building the party, members of the local party are forming circular firing squads and attacking elected members,” Afzali said. “Billy should realize his antics on the council and in the committee are in part why people are so disgusted with Frederick County politics.”

Nothing to see here folks!
Nothing to see here folks!

Man, oh man, what a hot mess! We don’t know whether to laugh or cry over all of this. Wait a minute: LAUGH! Laugh and laugh and laugh (we all need to laugh right now)! The crazy is hanging out all over the place, people!!! Tuck it in! Don’t let it touch anything else!

 

Better late than never-Your November 15th meeting run down!

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We apologize for the lateness. The feed on the night of the meeting was just awful and it took your busy Yokel ladies a day to watch and digest the latest edition of our local government in action.

Right out of the gate, Kirby wants to pull one of the budget transfers. He wants a list of all (except Sheriff vehicles because he knows that everything is on the up and  up there) county vehicles that need to be replaced. He was given a list of 58 vehicles but apparently that’s not sufficient. Local budget hero Rick Harcum, explains to the council that he is asking for this transfer because his department accidentally put the money in the wrong column. It really doesn’t have to do with the purchase of any vehicles. There is some discussion as to whether or not this transfer can wait two weeks, to which the county employees say no it would really back them up. Kirby still will not relent on pulling the amendment. M.C. points out that these vehicles were already approved when they passed the budget in May so exactly what’s the point here? It’s only a transfer that was inadvertently put in the wrong column to buy vehicles that were already approved to be bought! So Kirby:

Do us all a favor please!
Do us all a favor please!

All transfers pass 4-3. All vote to approve minutes, except for the Lone Idiot. New Parks Director approved 7-0. And then the League of Women Voters is in the house y’all! The league representative makes a very nice presentation about the process of selecting people to sit on the Ethics Commission.  Surprisingly Kirby sits quietly and they are all approved!

Clean Energy Program for Commercial Properties is approved 7-0. Now the upside of waiting a few days to report on the meeting is we get to bring you things like this:

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Look at the list of people he tagged! Now no where in this article is Jan taking credit for this bill. Since her name was mentioned it gives Billy license to carry on in the fashion he is accustomed to. He does know that private citizens cannot introduce legislation, right?

Public hearing on two changes to sewer lines. Passed.

The one public commenter, who spoke at the beginning and end of the meeting, is concerned about curbs and sidewalks in Urbana.

Council Member comments. Kirby stays quiet. Jerry asks citizens to become members of county commissions. It’s a great way to affect public policy. Like we always say here at the Yokel, local government is very responsive to the public and is a great place to make a difference.

Silence from Tony and then it’s time for Billy to get some of the attention back on himself. Still believes it would be a great idea to get a People’s Court up and running here in Frederick County. So apparently someone else up there also does not understand the function of his job. If you have not seen the movie Idiocracy, you really need to take a look because we are more than certain that his People’s Court would look just like this scene from the movie:

Watch it this weekend if you haven't seen it yet!
Watch it this weekend if you haven’t seen it yet!

He then decides to list all of the offices that we voted on in the election last week. Doesn’t congratulate the winners of any of the other offices he mentions (That’s right because those offices will all be occupied by Democrats!) but takes the time to congratulate Trump. Ends his inane statements with: “Looking forward to draining the swamp.”

Looking right at ya Billy!
Looking right at ya Billy!

Jessica, M.C. and Bud all end their comments with a positive note.There’s talk of SOAR (Supporting Older Adults through Resources), donating to the food bank, the homeless problem in Frederick and the Frederick County Veteran’s treatment court. Next meeting will take place on December 6.

Dissection of a Facebook post–Let’s all help Kirby out!

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We are so NOT in the mood for something like this today. But, as it has become all too obvious this past week, we have to deal with what we are given, not what we wished for. Case in point, our exalted 5th District Council Member is so professionally voicing his opposition to an already passed resolution.….on Facebook.  Let’s begin first with the big reveal:

La la la! I can't hear you Kirby!
La la la! I can’t hear you Kirby!

We are not feeling very generous, but we are going to help Kirby out anyway. Let’s dissect his commentary to see if we can accomplish some good, long lasting understanding of this issue. Let’s start at the beginning where Kirby so eloquently wrote this:

“Perfect example of someone looking for something to do rather than looking to do something….”  Maybe, just maybe Kirby didn’t read (baa haa haa of course he didn’t!) the task force resolutions. Because, if he could have been bothered, he would have found that this falls squarely in the looking to do something  category. Take a gander Mr. #:

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Huh! Seems like a very reasonable and concise explanation! And let’s  not forget all the speakers from various agencies and  members of the community that voiced their support for this! You know the public Kirby was elected to serve. It’s all fine and good that the High Sheriff and State’s attorney have their opinion, however, they did not address any of the concerns listed above in their rebuttals! This is a worldwide, pervasive problem that needs to be brought to light! Why in the hell would one be against this?!

Next up on the above PSA: “Chuck and Charlie, step aside, 16 people with no experience coming off their living room couch are going to show you how its done.” BAM! Take that you non experienced couch potatoes. Who is on the task force anyway?

Just look at that uneducated bunch of buffoons...wait a minute.
Just look at that uneducated bunch of buffoons…wait a minute.

So the Frederick Police Department knows nothing about law enforcement? Good to know! Wonder if you’ve let Chief Hargis know how you feel about him and  his department, CM Delauter. Because the Chief really wants this task force, he thinks it would do a lot of good in combating this problem. And guess what else Genius # The First?! This isn’t just a law enforcement issue! And if you can’t see why that is, how bringing people from various agencies to the table might  be  helpful, then we truly cannot help you.

Wow Kirby, we didn’t think it was possible for you to insult so many people in one Facebook post.Well Done Sir! Well Done! Sigh.

Not Ever Again!
Not Ever Again!

Your mid November drinking extravaganza!

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We know that many of you are desperate for a break from politics, and more sympathetic we could not be. But remember, in two short years there will be another county council election. We need to keep paying attention and recording the actions of those who shall not lead ever again! So, as always, we will try to make watching a little more fun for you! Ready up your handy agenda, tune into Frederick’s very own reality station and watch away!

If anyone chooses to take advantage of the pre-meeting public comment, have yourself a Tequila Mockingbird.

All sorts of budget transfers coming down the line. We usually hear some grumbling when the library is on the agenda. If this should occur, mix up a strong Mark Twain, and be thankful the old man did not live to see this.

Oh dear Helena on the mountain, there’s an item to confirm members to the Ethics Commission!

1e1je0
Kind old monkey is much more optimistic than we are!

As we’ve written once or twice before, Kirby has a problem with the word ethics. It elicits in him an angry Pavlovian response that once released, is impossible to reign in. You many want to put yourself into a coma for this section of the evening. Having a nice Blackout or two may do the trick!

Next up is the First Reading on a Small Business Property Tax Credit. Sounds like something all should be in favor of. But whoopsie daisy, one of those pesky Democrats is the sponsor. So even though it’s something Shrelauter would, in all other universes,  be in favor of we have a feeling there’s going to be some “problems”. If any are expressed slam back an Upside Down Martini. 

Time to decide on the Clean Energy Program for Commerical Properties. But wait! Isn’t global warming just a huge scam? Isn’t this all liberal propaganda? If you hear any of that nonsense, mix up a gallon and a half of Hell on Earth.

Public hearing time on Water and Sewage Amendments. Any bellyaching will lead you to slamming back a Raw Sewage or two.

All that remains are public and council member comments and we have a BADDD feeling about his week. So grab a cup of your favorite herbal tea and try to stay calm!

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One more chance to vote for someone you really want!

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We beg ya!
We beg ya!

We know you are all voted out, however, now is your chance to get what you’ve always wanted…. your Lady Yokels’ blog in the Best of Frederick list! Please follow this link to vote for your favorite blog and, of course, any other local business that tickles your fancy! Voting closes on November 15 so please be swift!

How to become politically involved

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So many people are fired up and need a way to channel their energy instead of be fearful and mournful, now that we are confronting the fact that Idiocracy was apparently a documentary predicting the future of America. Our inbox was blessed by a kind local reader who is relatively new to the area and seeking suggestions as to how to become more involved with the political community.

Truthfully, we may not be the best advisers on the subject, since our main role around here is to point and laugh. We hope to provide reader friendly content that helps people keep interested in such fascinating topical issues as zzzzzzzzzzzoning lawzzzzzzzzzzz. Fortunately for the Yokel Ladies, Shrelauter can even make this stuff dramatic and appalling sometimes. We would also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that “we the people” run the damned circus that we have turned this republic into. Being an involved citizen–as this reader seeks to do–is the best course of action. Watching council meetings to familiarize yourself with the goings on of our community (we promise, this is the best reality TV around) writing LTEs to the real newspaper, and very most importantly interacting with your elected officials at every level are all great ways to get started. However, none of those will necessarily put you into the local community in a “boots on the ground” sense. It’s just a start that will familiarize you with what we are dealing with around here, but these boots were made for walkin’ and we are getting the distinct feeling from the women here, there, and everywhere that a lot of boots are lacing up for a march on Washington.

As moms, we also find PTA to be a great way for moms to get started. Just look at Sarah Palin, newly tapped for Department of the Interior, after her start as a PTA mama grizzly hockey mom, part term governor, matriarch of a sanctimonious barroom brawl, and reality show star (thanks be to the original maverick John McCain, who is totally not a hero, according to President Elect Middle Finger). You can go absolutely anywhere from there! Apparently.

No Brawndo necessary, thank you very much.
No Brawndo necessary, thank you very much.

For other young moms looking to find a path forward right now, we would love suggestions from readers. We would really love it if Councilmember Fitzwater has the opportunity to offer an idea, but she did just return from her maternity leave and is probably very, very busy right now doing a teaching job–which is like a job and half for real–and a “part time” council member job, and being mother to an infant. Honestly, we don’t know how she does that.

If you think we are putting up with this you’ve done gone lost your marbles!

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Over the past two days we’ve seen some really disturbing things on the interwebs. If you are a fan of our work, it wouldn’t take a mental giant to discern that we were devastated over the results of the Presidential election. Not just because Trump won, but also because we were/are fearful that the xenophobic, sexist and racist among us would take his election as a sign that their views are legitimate and should be sung to the world. Local case in point:

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So even when his comment was questioned by two womenfolk, he decided to double down! Look Blaine, the First Lady is not there to be your eye candy! In fact, not one of us ladies is put upon this Earth for that ridiculous purpose. How dare you insinuate that is what the First Lady is meant for? As though if she hasn’t met your definition of what a woman should look like then she is not worthy of the position? We are sure that Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is spinning in her grave for you to make that kind of comparison.  This just shows us, once again, that leopard’s spots have NOT changed.

Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!
Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!

 

Proposed school calendars and joint BOE meetings! Too much fun for one post?

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So fun!
So fun!

First off, FCPS has put out two proposed 2017-2018 calendars for public comment. One has a before Labor Day start and one after. The calendar with the post Labor Day start has done away with Spring Break. That caused your Lady Yokels to gasp! Follow this link and then make sure you comment. This is local government y’all, your voice counts!

Yesterday we made you aware that the Board of Education and county council was meeting. The FNP covered it pretty well so we won’t repeat their points. We do, however, have a few comments of our own.

First off: Where’s Kirby? The school construction presentation would have presented him with the perfect chance to grandstand about his now defunct buy back lease idea. He usually doesn’t pass up a chance to beat that dead horse.( Or any dead horse for that matter.)

Secondly, will someone please, please tell Billy to dress appropriately and pay ATTENTION during these meetings?!

Just look to your left Billy if you can't figure it out. And get your phone out of your lap!!!
Just look to your left Billy if you can’t figure it out. And get your phone out of your lap!!!

Thirdly, congratulations on your retirement Mr. Ray Barnes. We will miss your presentations and  your insight into school  construction. Thank you for your 35 years of service!

And finally, Jessica most graciously solved one ,out of the many ,former BOE candidate’s witch hunts. She returned to work yesterday. Not that was anyone’s, including our, business!  Good luck Ms. Fitzwater! As mommies we know how challenging the transition can be!