If you think we are putting up with this you’ve done gone lost your marbles!

Over the past two days we’ve seen some really disturbing things on the interwebs. If you are a fan of our work, it wouldn’t take a mental giant to discern that we were devastated over the results of the Presidential election. Not just because Trump won, but also because we were/are fearful that the xenophobic, sexist and racist among us would take his election as a sign that their views are legitimate and should be sung to the world. Local case in point:


So even when his comment was questioned by two womenfolk, he decided to double down! Look Blaine, the First Lady is not there to be your eye candy! In fact, not one of us ladies is put upon this Earth for that ridiculous purpose. How dare you insinuate that is what the First Lady is meant for? As though if she hasn’t met your definition of what a woman should look like then she is not worthy of the position? We are sure that Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is spinning in her grave for you to make that kind of comparison.  This just shows us, once again, that leopard’s spots have NOT changed.

Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!
Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!


Time to hit the liquor store! It’s debate night!


Keep your organs in check people!
Keep your organs in check people!

Your faithful Yokels only expend our precious energy in creating drinking games about our lovable, quirky county council. We would be remiss, however, if we didn’t point you in the direction of a fun drinking game for tonight’s debate. For how can anyone be expected to get through it without liquid fortification?  Make sure you have a yuuge supply of booze on hand, it could be a long night! Click here to play.

More news in the BOE race.

Today Shirley McDonald announced she too is dropping out of the race. Details can be found here.

It is sad to see another qualified candidate remove herself, but it is clear there is a strategy in place. And any strategy that ensures that Joy Schaefer, Ken Kerr and Michael Bunitsky are the ones on the BoE in the Fall, is a strategy the Yokel supports. Take a minute and click on their webpages and learn a little bit about them and their educational philosophies. We think you’ll like what you see! Let’s ensure that education in Frederick County stays on a positive track!



Trouble in Paradise? The Yokel does some math for y’all!

Sounds great!

Despite all the declarations of love we’ve heard from our At Large Council member there seems to be some trouble between him and Governor Hogan brewing:

Oh dear.
Oh dear.

What evidence does Billy present as to why Hogan should jump on the Trump bandwagon?

Frederick County Councilman Billy Shreve warned that Hogan is risking the support of the 54 percent of Maryland Republicans who voted for Trump in the April 26 primary.

“It’s going to look really bad if Trump wins Maryland and the governor doesn’t come out and support him,” Shreve said.

54% huh? Let’s do some numbering. Let’s see there’s 959,858 registered Republicans in the State of Maryland. 434,572 of those decided to show up and vote. Of those 434,572 primary voters 236,623 voted for Trump So yes 54% of those who showed up voted for Trump, however only 24% of the registered Republicans in this fine State of ours cast their vote for him. If we look at that in Statewide numbers, out of the 3,694,527 registered voters in Maryland 6% of them have actually cast a vote for Trump. Not quite the mandate.

And even if former Republican governors are drinking the Trump Kool-Aid:

Really Bobby haircut?
Really Bobby haircut?

There’s precedence in this year’s election that not every Republican is throwing their support behind him. There’s a Republican governor in Massachusetts, a mostly Democratic state like Maryland, who is refusing to back Trump. Huh, what would give a fellow Republican pause? Let us count the ways.

Y’all remember way back to the 2012 election when Romney pretty much lost the election because he said this?:

“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax… my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives…. The president has been a disappointment. He told you he’d keep unemployment below 8 percent. Hasn’t been below eight percent since. Fifty percent of kids coming out of school can’t get a job. Fifty percent.”

If that was enough for people to stop and think, “Huh, maybe Romney doesn’t give a flying hoot about me?”.  What can we pull out of the Trump archives?  Ready! Set! Go!

On Women:

  1. “Women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers. The person who came up with the expression ‘the weaker sex’ was either very naive or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye — or perhaps another body part.”
  2. “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?”
  3. “[Angelina Jolie’s] been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby… And, I just don’t even find her attractive.”
  4. “While  @ BetteMidler  is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct. ”
  5. “My favorite part [of ‘Pulp Fiction’] is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: ‘Bitch be cool.’ I love those lines.”

On maybe dropping a nuclear weapon on Europe:

Matthews: How about Europe? We won’t use it in Europe?

Trump: I—I’m not going to take it off the table.

Matthews: You might use it in Europe?


Trump: No, I don’t think so. But I’m not taking . . .

Matthews: Well, just say it. “I will never use a nuclear weapon in Europe.”

Trump: I am not—I am not taking cards off the table.

Matthews: O.K.

Trump: I’m not going to use nuclear, but I’m not taking any cards off the table.

Matthews: O.K. The trouble is, the sane people hear you and the insane people are not affected by your threats. That’s the trouble. The real fanatics say, “Good. Keep it up.”

Trump: I think—I think they’re more affected than you might think.

On John McCain being a POW:

In one of the kerfuffles that sparked early (and wrong) predictions that Trump’s campaign was about to implode, the Republican candidate appeared at an event in Ames, Iowa, on July 18, during which he derided Arizona Sen. John McCain as “a war hero because he was captured.”

“He’s not a war hero,” Trump said at the Family Leadership Summit, during a discussion. “He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”


And how his expensive military themed prep school was just like being in the military:

Mr. Trump said his experience at the New York Military Academy, an expensive prep school where his parents had sent him to correct poor behavior, gave him “more training militarily than a lot of the guys that go into the military.”

We could do this all day. If you want more Google is up and running for ya. If Mr. Shreve really believes that Trump has some kind of mandate in this State he is beyond delusional. We know that the good people of Maryland are not going to elect a opportunist, misogynist, xenophobic, bumbling “entertainer” to the highest office of our land. And maybe, just maybe Governor Hogan feels the same way.

images (4)
So much not to love.

You don’t get to gloat unless you go out and vote!

Do it!
Do it!

If you haven’t taken advantage of Maryland’s early voting, then makes sure you get off your butt and vote today. You need to choose your party’s Presidential candidate, Senator, Congressperson and delegates to the party convention. And let us not forget our own local school board race. Please pick three from this slate of wonderful, qualified candidates:


What’s that you say? You thought there were 8 candidates. Well, yes, but you can read about the 8th one here. Lots of good reasons to steer clear of that one. Do your civic and yokel duty and exercise that right that our ancestors have paid for with their blood, sweat and tears.

Putin for Prez?

Our faithful readers will remember way back when Kirby and Billy equated Jan to a tyrant. We did a whole post illustrating the difference between an actual tyrant and someone whose political viewpoints differ from your own. Well, sorry Yokels but it seems as though we are going to have to re-visit that point. In the Yokel mailbox we found this:

2016-04-24 (2)

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen some Putin lovin’ on Kirby and other Obama hater’s pages.  Before there is a call to do this:


Maybe we should do a little investigatin’ into this  Putin character:

  1. He invaded and annexed a portion of Ukraine.
  2. He jails journalists and entertainers who speak out against him.
  3. He sold arms and has supported a known genocidal ruler.
  4. He allegedly has billions of dollars in offshore accounts.
  5. His aircraft has been “buzzing” U.S. ships.

This list is very incomplete. If you want to read more about President Putin, fire up Google.

So maybe if Obama invaded and annexed Nova Scotia, jailed some liberal Hollywood actors or maybe a certain English editor that Kirby thinks is mentally ill, then he will be a fan. Sounds pretty reasonable to us. Why does it seem as though those who rail against tyranny are always the fans of the tyrant?


Get your soup and grab your dildos! Ted Cruz is a comin’ to town!!!

Local Grocers we hope you stocked up!
Local Grocers we hope you stocked up!

If you’ve got a hankering for some Campbell’s Chunky Soup you best haul your butt down to the store before Rafael gets here! We’ve heard he likes to buy it in bulk. (Seriously, what is wrong with him?)

Anyhoo, rumor has it that he’s going to make an appearance (taint) the Weinberg at 10 tomorrow. We want to encourage our fellow Yokels to show up at the Weinberg tomorrow with either a dildo, because Ted really hates them, or a can of soup if ya think the guy is hungry.

Here’s a hint as to which one we here at the Yokel have decided to bring:


Let’s give this charlatan a good old fashion Frederick welcome!