Tag: Shrelauter

The sky is going to crush us: Your June 6th county council drinking game.

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We are all going to have huge bumps on our heads soon!

 

After a very busy May, we are ready for the calmer meetings of summer. At least as calm as things can get around these here parts. Go ahead and grab your agenda, crank up your A/C and turn on your FCGTV connection! As always, remember this game is for giggles, we don’t want anyone to sizzle their liver!

14 budget adjustments on the docket!! That’s right 14! If Shrelauter should choose to pull one or two away (of course they won’t touch the ones from the Sheriff’s department), mix yourself up 14 ounces of a Moscow Mule.

Maryland Association of Counties is coming in for a nice update and then we are off to approving the budget for FCC. Last year, Billy and Kirby tried to convince the President of this fine institution that she should start outsourcing jobs in order to save some cash. She stood strong against the two nincompoops, as she is a smart lady and knows what kind of society we would be living in if everyone were to be outsourced to part-time pay with no benefits. If they decide to beat this dead horse for yet another year, shoot down a nice cool Horse’s Neck with a Kick.

Ten County Executive appointments and then we have two public hearings. One concerns St. John’s School and the other Water and Sewer amendments. Kirby usually has a word or two about water and sewer (stop chuckling people!) and we expect nothing less since he’s on a mission to grandstand in order to further his bid for County Executive. When he has “more of a comment, then a question”, shoot down a row of Bull Shits.

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Probably not Bonkers! But it does have his name on it.

In the section with the three First Readings, we see something very curious. There is a bill with Billy’s name on it!!! Can y’all believe it? What’s it about? Well, here’s the let down. He wants to change the law so that one business out in New Market can make mulch on a piece of property that they were told to stop doing that on. So yeah, wide reaching legislation for the benefit of one business, but we have to take what we can get! So Champipples all around!

There’s a break until 7:00 and then two public hearings on Zoning Map Amendments and Moderately Priced Dwelling Units.  Council Member comments will probably be a scene, so we’ll suggest you grab some Gatorade to get those electrolytes back in order!

Billy laughs at violence; abhors free press–the sequel!

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Why do our conservative council members have such an issue with The First Amendment? Probably no one needs this recap, but #KirbyDelauter is a minor celebrity for threatening to sue a reporter for using his name–as a public figure–in the newspaper without permission. Not to be outdone, his co-moron will not shut up on his Twitter. Much like the leader of their cult of crass stupidity. Et, voila…

GAH! These people are horrid.

We have noted ourselves that they act like they are in high school and everything is a game of dominance. It’s like those who peaked in high school (if at all) keep trying to turn Frederick County into their high school drama. Josh Barro of Business Insider tackles this subject quite well.

[their]..ideal of masculinity that might be imagined by a socially maladjusted 15-year-old and tolerating in our political leaders the sort of behavior that a guidance counselor would never accept.

 

Drawing it out with an apt analogy about BIG CAVEMAN STEAL UR LUNCH MONEY (a nod to Laura Ingraham’s dismissive Tweet on the subject) so long as you aren’t the Sad! Loser! whose money was taken. These people, Billy, Trump, Laura Ingraham, anyone who thinks like this: they are what’s wrong with America. Get your act together and grow up. All of you.

It’s your drinking game time. Again. Have mercy.

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Grab your agenda and brace yourselves. As always, you play this game at your own risk. Certain Council Members want to slash the Fire/Rescue budget so don’t count on anyone coming to save you!

Will there be public comments?  Assuming proper procedures won’t be followed regarding the budget adjustments, help yourself to a hole in the head. Might as well have a second one when Billy abstains from voting on the budget items. Double up if he actually votes yes or no. Robert’s Rules are still so hard.

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I’m just not sure how much more nonsense we can take.

There are 2 meetings worth of minutes to approve. Flip a coin to see how Billy behaves here, too.  Drink a tapeworm. It matches the intellect of the I won’t do my job to make a statement be the council’s fool mentality.

More housekeeping to attend to with the approving the County Executive’s appointments. Don’t drink anything but water, here, because there’s plenty to take on later and you are certainly already staggeringly intoxicated due to Billy’s obstinance alone. And this brings us right up to…

…the Kirby Mistakenly Believes he has Big Boy Ideas (Again) section. You will recall that we still have these budget amendments to consider. If any of them pass, put on your thinking cap.

 

You will need it, because up after the break is the solar bill. The efforts to pass any legislation regarding solar facilities have also caused a ridiculous amount of histrionics, disingenuous grandstanding, and flat out stupid accusations, mostly from Billy. However, his buddy–you know the one–is not blameless here either.

If you are still conscious, keep something good in your hat holster, because The Second Reading Calendar includes Jerry Donald’s Dog Tethering bill, and Jessica Fitzwater has a bill about moderately priced dwelling units. This means our two infamously scholarly council members (just ask Kirby) will need to school the, um, less academically inclined. We thank them for their good service on this Teacher Appreciation Week. A teacher’s work is never done.

 

 

 

It’s poll time!! What does Shrelauter want to cut from the budget?

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Poor Big Bird. He should count his blessings that Shrelauter can’t cut PBS’ budget.

It’s been awhile since we’ve done one of these. Today seems like the perfect time to speculate wildly on what Billy and Kirby want to cut from the budget. Vote for your favorite and we’ll see who is right come meeting time tonight!

Better call out sick tomorrow!! Your boozing through the budget drinking game is here!

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Sorry Tiger, if we have to live through it so do you !
It’s that time of the year when everything gets all cray cray! For it is time to discuss the budget!! Last week, Kirby did a repetitive dead horse beating tome on The Tentacle (and only the Tentacle since he’s apparently been banned from everywhere else!). We are naively holding out hope that he will heed  M.C.’s pleas and won’t come up with an alternative budget this year. However, disturbances in the force tell us some non-sensical amendments are sure to be proposed. Hold on to your hats, grab your agendas, and remember that this game is just for fun. If you follow it verbatim, you will die.

An ordinance will be proposed soon that will cut down the number of budget adjustments that come before the council. Oh, how we hope that comes to pass. For we are sick and tired of Shrelauter (and on occasion Tony), arguing over already approved funds being moved to a different category.  Should this occur this time around, throw back a nice tall Captain Hurricane. 

It’s a toss up on whether or not Billy will approve the past minutes. Then we are on to some post-decision wrap up on the Urbana rezone decision. If “anyone” tries to re-argue this application slam back a Hell Freezes Over. Since that’s apparently when all this nonsense will finally end.

Three council decisions on the docket tonight. Farm distilleries and tasting rooms, ethics (uh-oh that’s a Kirby trigger word!), and solar panels. We know folks, Billy told us that solar panels were dead in Frederick County. He also claimed that billboards in Central Pennsylvania were thanking us for murdering them. Alas, he was wrong. If any cross words are exchanged during these votes, make a whole thermos of Jamaica Me Crazy!

These are the times that try men’s souls AKA budget amendment time!

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Now this could go one of two ways; 1. Amendments are proposed that are based on good research with the goal of making Frederick County a safe and vibrant community OR 2. Outlandish amendments are proposed that reflect a misunderstanding of the county charter and the function of county government in general. We predict more of number 2 will be in store for us. If we are some kind of soothsayers, have yourself a pitcher of Angry Possum. If an alternative budget is proposed, mix up a barrel of it!

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Well, how about that? It rhymes!
There is to be a break until 7:00, but somehow we don’t think there will be one.  When (if) the council reconvenes, there is a 2nd reading on a bill to discuss zoning map amendments during an election year. Then there’s a hearing on the constant yield. When the dead horses are flogged on this being a tax hike, sip upon thy Horse Feathers to get yourself through it.

Hopefully the council members have said all they need to and we won’t have dramatic council member comments like we commonly do. Take this time to get yourself a big pail of ice water to stick your head in. Hopefully our new budget will be passed on May 16th.

Yeah, sorry we aren’t listening to four hearings worth of public comment. But we’ll be happy to bring you council member comments!

fclocalyokel2 Comments
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We don’t know how the council members sit for that long!

We won’t listen to comments for three bills and the budget. We just can’t. However, if you would like to click here, or read this nice summary in the Frederick News Post.  We already reported on the first half of the meeting, and now we will bring you what we know you’ve been sitting on the edge of your seats for: Council Member Comments.

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It really shouldn’t be this dramatic, but alas…

Tony’s got nothing to say so we are off to Kirby, and oh dear Sappho. According to Kirby taxes have gone up 10%, and since he doesn’t know anyone whose income has gone up 10% the money doesn’t match up and everyone should move out of Frederick County. Because 10% of one number is always equal to 10% of another number, right?

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Then there was a long winded diatribe, after he shuffled through his papers for awhile, about how he was lied to about payment to a lobbyist. He even referred to our pal Katherine Heerbrandt’s blog. And we encourage you to read the post he was referring to here. Instead of going through Kirby’s rant about how he was lied to and told things were none of his business, you  be the judge of what really happened. All told, we really don’t think Kirby has a very good understanding of the charter and the powers allotted to the different branches of county government. We know, durh.

Jerry informs us that every member of the council was sent an email to make an appointment with the County Executive to discuss budget priorities. Shall we take wagers on who didn’t make an appointment, or is that too easy?

Billy, oh dear Mother Earth, Billy.  He enlightens us to the fact that budget time is really interesting because taxes never go down. (Is that the only reason, pal?) He then asks some really deep rhetorical questions:

“Where does it stop?”

“Where does it end?”

“Where does it end?”

“In Frederick County it looks like it never ends.”

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Frederick County is in grave danger so it seems.

Jessica also reiterates the fact that on January 24th all council members received an email from the County Executive asking for a meeting regarding the budget. She also tells us about some very interesting things she learned on a tour of Ft. Detrick. We like science and knowledge and stuff so all of this was very fun to listen to.

M.C. is the gold star winner of the council member comments!

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We may even commission her a trophy!

M.C. finds it concerning, as do we, that after two years of going through the budget process that is explicitly put forth in the charter, there are still questions about how it works! While she appreciates the effort in coming up with an alternative budget (we don’t!), according to the charter the council can’t do anything with it!! So, she encourages her fellow council members to put their efforts into making amendments to the CE’s budget AS IT IS SPELLED OUT IN THE CHARTER! She also reminds some of her fellow public servants that the charter states that when money is moved from one category to another it must come before the council. The County Executive, per the charter, is allowed to issue checks up to $20,000 without council approval. She then encourages Shrelauter her fellow council members, that if they don’t like these parts of the charter, then they should put some amendments forth next Spring. Until then, thems the rules! Stop wasting everyone’s precious time!

Next week there are a series of hearings and workshops on the budget. Stay tuned!

Tis The Night of the Beating of the Dead Horses! Part One!

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We are going to put forth a motion to re-name budget season! It will now be known as: “The time when the dead horses get their due!” We’ve been covering the council for two years now, and this time of the year is always the WORST. Kirby hasn’t trotted out his nonsensical budget thus far, but PATIENCE! For it will occur. Let’s get you up to speed on tonight’s beating  meeting.

Tony pulls the 3rd reading of his bill allowing farms to host events. Recognizes it had many faults and the planning commission was not going to approve it. Plans to bring it back at a later date.

Kirby wants a budget adjustment pulled concerning new fire trucks, and what’s that we hear?! Billy wants one pulled as well! He wants the Veteran’s court adjustment pulled. More on those two in a minute.  Billy wants to know who is running the meeting and he is ignored.  All is right with the world..for a moment.

6-1 in favor of approving the agenda. Billy is not, even though he got his item pulled.  7-0 for the consent agenda. Which is curious because didn’t Billy say that he abstained from all budget votes because he didn’t have enough information? 

Now, it’s time to talk about the fire trucks. You see folks, the fire department NEEDS a new ladder truck and four new pumper trucks. Turns out we don’t have any reserve vehicles in this county. AND the ladder truck they want to replace is 17 years old. This transfer needs to be approved as soon as possible because the prices will go up in June and they still need to secure financing. Local heroes, Rick Harcum and Lori Depies, along with representatives from the Frederick County Fire Department, explain the necessity of this. Well, well, well, you nice folks are going to get some Shrelauter and Tony treatment first! Kirby doesn’t think the old trucks are at their end cycle, and Billy doesn’t have enough info!! Tony says that it is “unfortunate” and “inappropriate” that they aren’t given all the information and they are just expected to “take one person’s word for it”.  Ms. Depies explains, ever so calmly, that the info Billy wants was sent to the County Executive since she is the signer and executor of the lease. The council’s job is to simply transfer the money, that was already set aside for this exact purchase, to another part of the budget. You see folks, it had already been decided to buy these trucks last budget cycle!  They’ve found  an alternative lease program. Instead of getting an operational lease, that you have to pay taxes on, they will get a capital lease that will be tax exempt! So, they aren’t arguing over whether or not to buy these trucks, as that was decided last year. They simply have to move the ALREADY allocated money from one part of the budget to another to SAVE the county some money. What do these guys even believe in anymore? Also, lease seems to be another trigger word for Kirby. For when it is said, he goes on and on about how his school lease back idea could have also saved the county lots and lots of cash!

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Final vote: 5 Ayes, 1 No (Kirby) and 1 Abstain (Guess who?).

Not really sure why Billy pulled the Veteran’s court item, as it seemed to be because he wanted to let Judge Rolle talk about it.  Couldn’t that have been handled another way? That budget item was passed 7-0.  We did notice that Billy does use his manners around people he seems to like.

Constant Yield time.

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Yes, it was horrible. The rate is staying the same. Kirby has some questions, no wait, not a question, a clarification. Wants us all to know that the concept says, well, he’s not going to read the whole thing but, blah, blah, blah, it’s a tax increase. When it’s not. The rate stays the same, but here we are again:

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There’s a heated discussion between Kirby and Jerry about how the BOCC raised taxes back in 2013 when they applied the fire tax rate to all municipalities. To which Kirby first says is not true, but then says they were playing a shell game and had to do the most fair thing. So…even if it was necessary Kirby, you still raised taxes. Why can’t those words leave your lips? Approval to have a public hearing over keeping the constant yield rate the same was passed 5-2. Kirby voted with Bud and the Democrats! Is the world ending?

Frederick County Hazard Mitigation Plan is passed 7-0.  Go to Frederick Alert and pick the notifications you would like to receive.

Last item before the break was the approval of transportation priorities. The top three are:

  1. Route 15 between I-70 and Route 26.
  2. Route 194
  3. Route 85 between Spectrum and Guilford Drives.

Passed 6-1, with Billy voting no.

Second half of the meeting begins at 7:00.

Check out the brain on Billy: deploralogical edition

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Ooh la la. We nearly missed this gem in the FNP, and naturally in the Best Of “Do-As-I-Say-Not-As-I-Do” Category we have a Shrelauter. Both the City of and the County of Frederick would like to limit rezoning in the “lame duck” sessions of their legislative boards. And what does Deplorable And Proud of It think of that? You’re going to be so tickled (when tickled is something like the burning itch of athete’s foot):

“Elected officials are elected for their whole four years, not three years and three months,” he said in a phone interview Wednesday. (Billy Shreve in the Frederick News Post)

Announcement: Billy is superlative. He is the actual worst.

Remember when President of the United States Barack Obama couldn’t nominate a Supreme Court Justice–even with the checks and balances of Senate confirmation–months and months before the election even happened? Way before he actually became a “lame duck?” Because it was an election year. Of course you do! We are smack in the thick of a hypocritical wasteland of dramatic irony right now, at the federal and local levels. It’s exhilaratingly stupid. And also exhausting.

Billy cannot help himself during this phone interview. If this measure passes he’s also going to suggest that county council members give up 9 months salary. You know cause there won’t be any work to do! Maybe Billy can start the trend by donating $18,750 to the Frederick County Parks and Recreation department!

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We are 100% sure that this hero’s Frederick County counterpart will mirror his expression!

Oh, also, the reason our delightful County Executive suggests this measure could be worthwhile that the last BOCC hastily rammed through a bunch of zoning changes. So, there’s that. A thing that even if you didn’t know, you kind of knew, because that’s just how they rolled.

Is silence always good? Your April 4th meeting breakdown!

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Seriously folks, what’s in store for us?

Besides a couple of utterances of yes, Kirby was as quiet as a dormouse last night. We know we should rejoice that no more dead horses were beaten, but we can’t help but feel that it may just be the quiet before the storm.

You can guess who wasn’t quiet tonight. You know what Billy’s behavior reminds us of? We’ve all come into contact with that person , be it young or old, who is confused about what is going on around them.  And instead of asking questions or perhaps due to a serious mental issue, they lash out at everyone else like they are the idiot. THAT! Case in point, when Bud turns the meeting over to M.C. to run so he can introduce an amendment, Billy screams, “Why?!”  To which poor Bud has to re-state what he already said about introducing an amendment.  So tedious.

Billy is the only one who votes against the $100 million bond authority bill. No explanation, not even sure he knows why anymore, just no.

The discussion concerning the Farm Distilleries and Tasting Room bill was interesting. Lots of amendments made and some really good discussion from the 5 that appear to understand what their job entails. The vote for the 1st amendment to this bill is the most interesting we’ve seen by far:

Donald-Nay

Chemlik-Yay

Keegan-Ayre-Nay

Fitzwater Yay

Delauter-No

Shreve-Yes

Otis-Yay

So, as we said, interesting.

New bill with all of it’s amendments will have to go back to public hearing.

There’s a break until 7:00 to discuss Tony’s bill concerning events on farms. Not many people were for this, and there were quite a few against. It looks as though there’s going to have to be a lot of changes in order for this to garner public support. We cannot imagine living peacefully out in the country and then having our neighbor rent their land out for weddings every weekend during the warm months. It could be an intolerable living situation.

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This we do have to say, and Council Members Donald and Fitzwater touched on this during their comments, kudos for Tony for trying to solve a problem. This is how a legislative body is supposed to work.

Chemlik and Delauter pass on their comments and how we wish Shreve did as well. His contribution to the discussion is that we need to define what a farm is and go out and get our feet dirty. No other legislation should be introduced until they define exactly what a farm is. Can you just imagine that discussion people? Everyone else had nice things to say and how sorry we are that those good points are often lost due to the noise of the absurd.

Tonight the County Council and BOE are having a joint meeting. Check out the agenda here. 

Let’s keep those dogs tethered!! Your April 4th drinking game!!

fclocalyokel3 Comments

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It’s Legislative Day in Olde Fredericktowne!!! Billy was extra rude at the last workshop, so we’ll see if he steps it up this week. Remember to use extreme caution when following this game, as it is only for fun. Grab the agenda and fire up your FCGTV!

One budget adjustment on the list! If your favorite non-reader suggests you go to a now defunct bookstore to get your reading materials slam back a Taming of the Shrewdriver.

Next up is putting signatures upon the Urbana re-zoning decision. Zeus have mercy! We are going to hear it! To steady your nerves fortify yourself with a Sad, Alone on a Beach.

Next up is a financial report on Citizens/Montevue. So we’ll just leave this here:

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Oh the poor horses in this county!
Three first readings on the docket: Zoning Map Amendments during election years, Dog Tethering, and payment regarding Moderately Priced Dwelling Units. We know by now that first readings are only for informational purposes. It’s not the time to argue or grandstand. If our favorite “entity” forgets that mix up a pitcher of Brain Erasers. If only we could start from scratch with those two.

Two bills are on their third reading, which means it’s time for the council to vote on them.  We have General Obligation Bill Authorization and the Distillery and Brewing bill. If Billy cannot address people in a mature way,  sip on your Idiot Box while pondering the fact that this fool thinks he deserves to be our State Senator.

We go to break and reconvene at 7:00 for a public hearing.

Tony’s bill on Limited Private Event Venues is the subject for the evening.  We’ve been hearing some rumblings about this so we’ll see how it goes. But kudos for the 1/3 of the Republicans up there who actually wrote a piece of legislation.

Lastly, public and council member comments. Surely, we will be lectured about how terrible everything is. And how since we didn’t let Kirby do his unrealistic, expensive lease back idea, and as a result of not compromising with every law breaking business in the county we are all going to hell in a hand basket. Maybe Billy will even accuse a county employee of hiding something because he can’t get an advance copy (that he surely won’t read) of some plan. If these unfortunate events occur, cue up Bloodlines on Netflix so you can see that things can always get worse.