It’s your April 10th drinking game!

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You too?

We are not even sure if anyone is able to stay sober right now. Therefore, if you are already drunk due to the national news, just carry on with your selected beverage of choice.  Grab your agenda and follow along.

There are no minutes to vote on tonight, so you can spare your liver right away because Billy won’t have the option to abstain.

First up are 3 bill updates. And oh dear, one has to do with ethics. Remember how Kirby gets triggered whenever the “E” word comes up? If you see #NeverKirbyforCountyExecutive get all twitchy, slam back a pitcher of Trigger!

The council then goes into closed session, a motion that Silly Billy will surely vote against. They return at 7:00 for a variety of public hearings.

First up is Billy’s very bad bill that Tony had to re-write so it made a modicum of sense. And speaking of Tony, we need to digress for a moment because people have you seen this?!:

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This is his campaign sign!!! So many thoughts…First of all, are we building a wall? Starting a trade war with Washington or Montgomery counties? When does Frederick County not come first in the Frederick County Council?! Zeus give us strength this election season. And, vote for Steve McKay in the primary if you are a Republican District 2 voter.

The next hearing is the wood chipping bill, and boy are we tired of hearing about this! Tony added some amendments last time, actually took some of the planning commission and county executive’s suggestions into consideration!  Still, why are we making legislation that benefits one business? If “anyone” talks about Jan shutting down all the businesses ( YOKEL FACT: This business was never shut down or even fined!) set up a row of Pink Faced Liar shots!

We next have to sit through two hearings on the same issue. Tis an election year and Kirby needs to grandstand over all his failed bills and budget writing attempts. We know who has the better bill, so sit back and set up your moonshine still, because man you’re gonna need it this year.

We round up the evening with M.C.’s bill about locating amenities within the boundaries of a particular community. If When Billy says something condescending (we know the nerve of that fella) take dainty sips of your Raspberry Stupid.

 

 

Let’s celebrate the head of FCPS! Your county council is back tonight!

The last legislative meeting of the county council was put on hold due to weather. Will Spring ever arrive, Yokels?! There’s lots on the agenda this evening including the recognition of Dr. Alban’s leadership award! We know that some wanna be school board members will balk at this, but the rest of us will celebrate!

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Lots of third readings as well as public hearings. A couple of Billy’s really bad bills haven’t made their way back on the docket, which is just fine with us! This election has really put a lot of demands on our time and we haven’t been able to come up with a proper drinking game. We will leave you with this Bingo card, for it truly is timeless:

 

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Let that liquor keep you warm! Your snowy day council council drinking game!

Tonight’s meeting is a two-parter! First we begin at 4:30 with a variety of fun items to keep you on your toes. There are five bills to be voted on tonight, many of them originating from our pal Billy Shreve. The original agenda had six bills on, but we’ll let this story from the FNP explain why one of Billy’s very bad vendetta bills was removed from consideration.

 

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We reconvene at 7:00 to listen to three public hearings. Two of which have to do with changes to the Senior Tax Credit. Use the below bingo card as your game this evening. Make up your own runs or follow the traditional bingo. Guard your liver though, none of these local characters are worth the destruction of a major organ.

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It’s your double day Bingo drinking game!

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Oh Mr. Puffinstuff, do take care!

 

The council has saddled us with two meetings this week. The first one, scheduled for this evening at 4:30, has some interesting items. Steve Horn, who seems to be Billy’s mortal enemy as of late, is in the house to present the Livable Frederick plan. Here’s how Kirby feels about it:

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NICE!

 

Next, it appears that Tony wants to bring Off Track Betting to Frederick County.  There’s also some discussion of some other bills and the gas pipeline that Potomac Edison wants to run under the Potomac River so they can pump fracked gas down from Pennsylvania! What could go wrong?! We end Tuesday’s meeting with two public hearings on the MDX bill and DRRAs.

Wednesday’s meeting, scheduled to begin at 6:00, has two third readings and a public hearing on the Monocacy Scenic River plan. We cannot possibly commit to making two drinking games in a week! Therefore, we are leaving you with this handy bingo drinking game that can be used for both nights! Pick your poison, mind your liver, and drink whenever you get a bingo! Good luck!

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Bottoms up! Please make sure you are seated before imbibing.

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You better Jenkins, or you may end up in the hospital!

Lots of items on the agenda for tonight’s meeting so please make sure you are properly prepared with a comfy seat. As always, take care not to overindulge. The Yokels are not responsible for any damage you may do to your livers and we really do need you to be back again for the next meeting.

First up public comments. If no one shows up, drink some ginger ale. You are going to want to coat your stomach with a preventative liner.

Next are a bunch of budget amendments. When Billy complains that he still doesn’t have a budget analyst to help him read, throw back a flaming asshole. You know why.

Business items are up next. Three meetings worth of minutes need to be approved plus confirmations, bond authorizations and new workshop items. Someone is going to abstain so get ready to drink a mojito mocktail. 

Next up are first readings of four different items.  Forest resources, DRRA, APF for school construction are going to be discussed. We predict tempers will flair (the 3 usual suspects). This could go long, so pick your own personal favorite beverage to slowly sip during this portion of the meeting. We still have more to get through and you will want your wits about you.

A public hearing on bonds for Mount St. Mary’s University is up next. Mix up an Irish Catholic to set the mood.

Next a third reading on the Wood Waste Recycling bill. Are you still upright??? Time for a boozy affagato. You’ll need that espresso to help you stay awake for the rest of the meeting.

Take a break until 7. If the meeting ran until 7, and you don’t get a break, grab a glass of good old fashioned water. Your liver needs a break.

Next up a second reading on the Veteran’s Advisory Council.  You’ll want to mix up an American Spirit for this one.  Just drink it because we all support veterans.

I can’t believe there is still more, but next comes a public hearing on rezoning the Ballenger PUD. Throw back a I’m Ya Huckleberry when Billy asks a question someone has already answered.

We are almost done.  We just have to get through public and council member comments. Time to throw back a shot of C. This one is for your health.  Right????

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Oops. Don’t say we didn’t warn you Smokey!

Let’s match some lingo by playing bingo! Your very special October 3rd drinking game!

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If you win, it means we all lose!
It’s that time of the month again! The county council will convene to discuss items that are important to the functional running of our local government. Today we leave you with a very special bingo game that you can use any which way you please. So grab your favorite pumpkin spiced whatever, read over your agenda, and fire up the live feed.

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It’s time for your drinking game, spring break edition.

Celebrate while you can Sunny.

FCPS is currently on Spring Break! We are trying to soak up every minute with our dearest children since our overlord Governor Hogan has pretty much nixed any hopes of more than a four day weekend yippe skippy spring break fun time in the future. Channel your inner college break constitution, but remember this is just for fun. Don’t overdo the alcohol. Grab your agenda and steel your mind for the ride!

We hope you had a good holiday. You are going to need to hold onto that good mood when this week’s meeting starts with budget adjustments. When there is a BS abstention on budget items for no good reason throw back a truffle bunny, because we know you need a tiny excuse to steal your kid’s candy.

Next up are a few business items. The constant yield tax rate is one of the items. The crystal ball says there will be denial if the constant rate actually stays constant. Throw back a tax break because who has patience for this? Bonus drink if you managed to get your own taxes done by tax day. Next up are hazard mitigation and transportation updates. We recommend abstaining on drinks for those discussions. Save your liver for what’s up next.

Time for the 3rd reading of Limited Private Event Venues Bill. If Council Member Chmelik doesn’t vote Aye for his own Bill drink a poison apple.

Break time! Have some carbs. There are 3 second readings to get through when the meeting reconvenes.

Prepare to throw back some local shots as distilleries, ethics and solar facilities are discussed. We know there will be dead horse flogging during the ethics reading. That poor horse is so dead and flogged that all we can recommend is have a long tall glass of water to quench your tbirst.

Finally, we have a draft budget, followed by public and council member comments. We predict some council member complete nonsense during comments, so finish strong with a bullshit.

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If only this weren’t necessary.