It’s the first meeting of Fall which means it’s the last season of Shrelauter and Friends! Tony decided not to accept the results of the election and is attempting a write-in campaign in order to ensure the victory of the Democratic candidate! Final days and write-in attempts pretty much ensure that we are in store for some pretty dramatic meetings. Go ahead and grab your agenda, fire up the FCGTV, and remember this is only for fun! Billy isn’t answering any calls from you ingrates!
The clock is a ticking on hearing Billy vote against the agenda, abstain from the budget adjustments, and vote against the minutes!! We can’t imagine any of the future candidates behaving this way. Tis a unique style of legislating! When this farce occurs slam back a thermos of Whiskey Sours. Because this behavior makes about as much sense as taking a boat out in the Monocacy after a hurricane!
Alderman/Director of Government Affairs, Roger Wilson is in the house to talk about proposed legislative initiatives for the upcoming session in Annapolis! Take a break from your liquor to listen to a smart person talk!
Lots of public hearings including the changes to the school construction fees. We predict this one will garner the most public speakers since overcrowded schools are a HUGE issue in this county. Give your liver a break and rehydrate!
Council member comments have turned into complaining sessions for “some” of our members. Sip on your Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice while attempting to hang on to your sanity.
Lots on the agenda this evening. From budget adjustments, to First and Third readings of bills, to THREE, that’s right THREE public hearings, this meeting has the potential to cause some serious drama. Tonight you can pick your poison and use the following bingo card to make the meeting bearable. Remember y’all, this is just for fun, you don’t want to wind up sleeping it off in the High Sheriff’s holding tank!
Today is the first legislative day since the primary election. That means..dun, dun, dun….council member comments! Billy didn’t bother showing up at the last workshop and Kirby was very quiet and even pulled his bill, so we don’t know what to expect!!! It makes us a little uneasy! Anyhoo, grab your trusty agenda, fire up your FCGTV, and be sure to take care of that liver. There’s no way that Billy is coming to save any of you ingrates now!
What are we going to do without someone to vote against the agenda come December? Who will abstain on the budget adjustment just to see the expression on the faces of his fellow council members? Just thinking of this makes us feel all giddy inside. No matter what happens with the passing of the agenda and approval of adjustments, slam back a tall Happy Camper, for this will all be over soon!
Up next is a bunch of approvals of nominees and appointments. May be the time to get some last minute digs in, but we hope not. Mix up a pitcher of Tomorrow We Sail, in anticipation of rosy times ahead!
Now it’s time to vote on the Bike and Trails plan and Four proposed amendments to the County Charter. Don’t listen to the “noise” about the collective bargaining and instead know it’s going to help our county employees, firefighters included, to get a fair shake. If the “noise” becomes too loud, soften it up with a high ball of Silent Touch.
Now it’s time to determine if a building in Ballenger Creek is no longer necessary, and there’s quite a few First Readers to get through. Let’ s see if everyone can remember that First Readers are just an introduction, not a time to debate!
For the three public hearings, pick your poison and drink at will!
It may be a long night with all of this on the agenda! When the time comes for council member comments make sure you have your wits about ya! You probably don’t want to miss a second of this!
We are not even sure if anyone is able to stay sober right now. Therefore, if you are already drunk due to the national news, just carry on with your selected beverage of choice. Grab your agenda and follow along.
There are no minutes to vote on tonight, so you can spare your liver right away because Billy won’t have the option to abstain.
First up are 3 bill updates. And oh dear, one has to do with ethics. Remember how Kirby gets triggered whenever the “E” word comes up? If you see #NeverKirbyforCountyExecutive get all twitchy, slam back a pitcher of Trigger!
The council then goes into closed session, a motion that Silly Billy will surely vote against. They return at 7:00 for a variety of public hearings.
The next hearing is the wood chipping bill, and boy are we tired of hearing about this! Tony added some amendments last time, actually took some of the planning commission and county executive’s suggestions into consideration! Still, why are we making legislation that benefits one business? If “anyone” talks about Jan shutting down all the businesses ( YOKEL FACT: This business was never shut down or even fined!) set up a row of Pink Faced Liar shots!
We next have to sit through two hearings on the same issue. Tis an election year and Kirby needs to grandstand over all his failed bills and budget writing attempts. We know who has the better bill, so sit back and set up your moonshine still, because man you’re gonna need it this year.
We round up the evening with M.C.’s bill about locating amenities within the boundaries of a particular community. If When Billy says something condescending (we know the nerve of that fella) take dainty sips of your Raspberry Stupid.
The last legislative meeting of the county council was put on hold due to weather. Will Spring ever arrive, Yokels?! There’s lots on the agenda this evening including the recognition of Dr. Alban’s leadership award! We know that some wanna be school board members will balk at this, but the rest of us will celebrate!
Lots of third readings as well as public hearings. A couple of Billy’s really bad bills haven’t made their way back on the docket, which is just fine with us! This election has really put a lot of demands on our time and we haven’t been able to come up with a proper drinking game. We will leave you with this Bingo card, for it truly is timeless:
Tonight’s meeting is a two-parter! First we begin at 4:30 with a variety of fun items to keep you on your toes. There are five bills to be voted on tonight, many of them originating from our pal Billy Shreve. The original agenda had six bills on, but we’ll let this story from the FNP explain why one of Billy’s very bad vendetta bills was removed from consideration.
We reconvene at 7:00 to listen to three public hearings. Two of which have to do with changes to the Senior Tax Credit. Use the below bingo card as your game this evening. Make up your own runs or follow the traditional bingo. Guard your liver though, none of these local characters are worth the destruction of a major organ.
The council has saddled us with two meetings this week. The first one, scheduled for this evening at 4:30, has some interesting items. Steve Horn, who seems to be Billy’s mortal enemy as of late, is in the house to present the Livable Frederick plan. Here’s how Kirby feels about it:
Next, it appears that Tony wants to bring Off Track Betting to Frederick County. There’s also some discussion of some other bills and the gas pipeline that Potomac Edison wants to run under the Potomac River so they can pump fracked gas down from Pennsylvania! What could go wrong?! We end Tuesday’s meeting with two public hearings on the MDX bill and DRRAs.
Wednesday’s meeting, scheduled to begin at 6:00, has two third readings and a public hearing on the Monocacy Scenic River plan. We cannot possibly commit to making two drinking games in a week! Therefore, we are leaving you with this handy bingo drinking game that can be used for both nights! Pick your poison, mind your liver, and drink whenever you get a bingo! Good luck!