Tag: #kirbydelauter

Who wants to be our County Executive? Kathy Afzali edition!

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Mr. Hopkins is doing it better than you!

We’ve already alerted you to the fact that #kirbydelauter has a fancy new website up and running to collect all your money for his County Executive bid. Word is that former contender for that office, Blaine Young, is jumping aboard as his campaign manager. And BAWHAAHA! Please let that be true! Today we have some insight into our other rumored Republican contender for that office, Delegate Kathy Afzali.

In one of our fave FNP sections, Political Notes, we are made aware of how Delegate Afzali is conducting herself while representing our fine area in Annapolis. Turns out, not so good! You see, Delegate Afzali refuses to participate in the General Assembly’s women caucus. And wait until you see the REASONS:

“Afzali said she chooses not to take part in the caucus for several reasons. One, she said, is that so-called women’s issues generally apply to the population at large. She also feels that most of the discussion in caucus meetings would likely focus on liberal topics.”

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Best go back into hibernation Mr. Fluffs!

Do we seriously have a delegate who believes that women’s issues do not exist? Is sexism over in Ms. Afzali’s imaginary utopia?  If that part isn’t astounding enough, let’s pay attention to the second part of her reasoning. It appears the Delegate cannot bear to be in the same room with those who do not subscribe to her point of view. We can imagine it can be quite taxing to share the same air with those who, through the thorough study of history, realize that women’s issues are not at all the same as those that men face.  And let us also call attention to her use of the word likely, as it appears she doesn’t even know what is going on in these meetings that she has taken such strides to avoid!

What makes this even sweeter for us to write about is that many Republican women statewide do NOT share Afzali’s point of view. In fact the article reported to us:

“Rey, a Republican who frequently takes part in floor debates in the House, said she enjoys the caucus meetings as a time to speak candidly with other lawmakers.”

“I think it’s a good place to really discuss the issues and it’s an opportunity to understand different points of view,” Rey said.”

WOW!! Can we trade Kathy for this gal?! If you want a chance at being our County Executive you better shape up lady! We ladies know that while we have made great strides in this country, there is still work to be done. And, if you do happen to be elected county executive, you sure as hell better get used to hearing opposing viewpoints. Because right now, you are doing it all WRONG!

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It’s crystal ball time! Let’s imagine a Frederick County with #kirbydelauter at the helm!

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Things will be bad, very bad indeed!

You’ve probably heard the rumors of Kirby’s intention to run for County Executive in 2018.  Yesterday, The Frederick Extra ran a piece in which our old pal Billy had this to say about Kirby:

“Should Trump supporters stay true, he predicts a similar outcome for his buddy, Council Member Kirby Delauter (R) in his quest to become county executive in 2018. “He’s just like Trump,” Shreve said of Delauter.”

Wow! What an endorsement! Let’s pause for a minute and envision what our fair county would look like if our new County Executive was “just like Trump.”

After a contentious campaign season, in which Mr. Delauter referred to county council members having their heads up Mrs. Gardner’s skirt, (you know, “locker room talk”), he manages to squeak a win with the support of the most Northern and Southern parts of the county. A win that horrifies the most populous areas of the county who didn’t think it was important to vote in a local election. His swearing in ceremony is #YUGE! He claims that large screens had to be set up at Baker Park for the crowd that was spilling out of the Weinberg. A claim that is refuted by the Frederick City Parks Department when they release pictures of a couple of people walking their dogs. Kirby’s team claims that the parks department is super biased, and how can you trust a bunch of government bloodsuckers anyway?

His first day is spent signing a flurry of Executive Orders. Orders that were previously so very evil and over-stepping, but are now a completely reasonable way of governing. His son will resume operations of his business, but no fear, family members can now do business with the county. ‘Tis the free market, people!  Fifty people are sent to the hospital due to the food poisoning contracted at Kirby’s celebration party. All those “out of control” health inspectors were the first to go!

Speaking of  the county health department, it will  be headed by a former snakes oil salesman.  There will be no more programs to promote healthy behaviors in this county! People need the freedom to eat their BBQ, drink their Fireballs, and vape without the government telling them they are going to drop dead!

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County parks will  be sold to the highest bidder and you will be charged admission to enter. Swings will now be equipped with coin machines, 50 cents for every 10 minutes, and  you better keep an eye on that timer, because when your time is up the swing freezes. If junior happens to be stuck in mid-air, well, don’t you take any personal responsibility for your kid’s life?

All county government correspondence must be in the shape of a teardrop:

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Yes folks, this is real!

FCPS’s budget will be stripped to the bare minimum. High schools will be closed and teenagers will be forced to buy access to their own online programs in order to achieve their dreams. No more frills either! Kids can eat in the hallway and the history curriculum will now be provided by the Heritage Foundation. All school staff will now be outsourced with part time workers making minimum wage.

All business and zoning regulations will be stripped. Frederick will look something like this:

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Libraries will be shuttered because we have a Barnes and Noble and reading is for wussies anyway. CE Delauter will spit on any and all environmental regulations. Mysteriously, we’ll be in severe debt at the end of #’s realm. All those tax cuts really made a mark. Our graduation rate has also plummeted,  crime is up, thousands are dead due to water borne illnesses, and there is a general feeling of malaise throughout the land. Who could have foreseen it? More importantly, who could have prevented it?

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That’s right! YOU can prevent this!

Happy to sad in less than 60 minutes -Your Yokel breakdown of the second half of last night’s meeting.

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The first part of our reconvened meeting is beautiful. The ever diplomatic and articulate Rick Harcum explains the bill that is up for a public hearing this evening. You see folks, back in 2010 the BOCC re-allocated the Recordation tax fees from agricultural preservation, parks and school management and put it into the General Fund. At that time, they added a Sunset Provision that said this would all end in five years time. Mr. Harcum praised this act as one was necessary in lean financial times, and as a result of having a Sunset Provision, also recognized that times wouldn’t always be tough.

Fast forward to 2014, the BOCC amended this bill to deter funds from the nursing home to the General Fund and according to the county attorney, wiped clean everything in the 2010 bill,including the Sunset Provision. This proposed bill will re-allocate those funds back into agricultural preservation, parks and the schools. Jerry later remarks in his council member comments, that he believes that all this was done so the BOCC could say they achieved the constant yield. The people who came to speak were in favor of re-allocating the money back. The only naysayer was Tony. He implied that Mr. Harcum was being dishonest in his characterization of these funds as since they were placed in the General Fund they could be allocated to parks, agricultural preservation, and schools if the County Executive so wished. Mr. Harcum then replied that puts them in competition with everything else in the budget.To which Tony still says is misleading. I think we all know that when money is specifically mandated for a purpose in the budget then we recognize as a community, how important that purpose is to us. But kudos Tony for trying to muddy an issue that was crystal clear.

Now it’s time for the sad time of the meeting…council member comments.

Lots of head shaking from Kirby tonight. It’s his Night O’ Apologies! He wants us all to recognize how sad it is to be in business in Frederick County. He tells the sad tale of a business owner in New Market,  salt of the Earth people, who after 27 years of selling mulch and top soil are having their lives ruined by the county. Just like the wedding venues and Mr. Natelli. RUINED. He also laments the fact that for the past 7 months or so the county hasn’t been able to find someone to fill the empty Emergency Management Position. “Everyday”, says Kirby, “things get worse and worse around here.”

Billy claims that there are billboards throughout Coal Country PA that state: “Thank you Frederick County for voting against Solar!”. We think this is probably a huge lie, but hey snap a pic Billy so we can see the evidence. We’ll admit it if we are wrong! If it is true, then the billboard owners have been misled as the solar bill has been tabled pending amendments. Billy also laments the sad state of affairs that business owners have to put up with in this county. He’s also sure that Bud is corrupt because he won’t fall into any of Billy’s question traps.

Jessica,after saying some nice things about the Girl Scouts and county staff, lists all the ways Frederick County has been friendly to business. Namely:

  1. The AstraZeneca deal
  2. Tax credit for manufacturers
  3. Small business tax credit

She also reminds Billy that we have not voted against solar power. Which is a curious thing for him to be confused about.

M.C. has to spend her time refuting the bookends. Says she would rather find the right person to fill the Emergency Management Services position then to just hire the first person off the street.  And that New Market business that Kirby is claiming the county has ruined?  Well, a neighbor of theirs filed a complaint with the county since they have been  operating outside of proper zoning. And when the county receives a complaint, they have to investigate and uphold county law. M.C. says that the county is looking for ways to work with the business. So perhaps things aren’t as dire as Mr. Negative would lead us to believe.  She also reminds us to lock our cars, as the police say most car thefts are a result of unlocked vehicles.

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A Shrelauter paradise!

M.C. ends her comments reminding the naysayers to respect their fellow council members. She gently tells them they we all spend a lot of time working on these issues and to disparage people just because they come to a different conclusion just isn’t right. While we agree with you M.C., we don’t see that happening from that bunch any time in the near future.

 

 

Let’s Yokelsplain how very bad the meeting went this evening!

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Right now our collective blood pressure is through the G.D. roof. If you were following our Facebook updates of tonight’s meeting, you would have seen that things were NOT going well.  Because of our collective parenting duties, we were not able to turn in until around 5:30, about thirty minutes in. The hour that we were tuned in for caused this Lady Yokel to have to pour a glass of wine.

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Not sure if this is big enough, but it’s a start!

So we joined the discussion about whether or not the application for the Urbana rezone should pass. Now, we did not hear some of the comments before 5:30, however, at some point Jessica used the word challenging.  The main problem some of the council members have is with the word contiguous as it applies to this property and the opinion that this motion should have been three separate applications instead of the one.

Billy, who was absent from the second hearing of this issue mind you, is trying, in his most condescending voice, to explain some things. He used the word “challenging” every time he got a chance just to try to stick it to Ms. Fitzwater.  Had the nerve to say that if this was “too challenging” for them to figure out then how would they construct a 20 year comprehensive plan? Went on rant after rant about how this council never does anything, he can’t get questions answered blah blah blah. It was horrible.  He even goes after the legal staff, deriding all their fancy law degrees since they can’t answer his leading, dishonest questions. And hey there Urbana parents, Billy claims y’all are just fine with the overcrowding in your district. Tis not an issue! Billy also tried to goad Bud into explaining his reasoning. To which Bud states, “I am not responding to any of your inquires.” You know what is challenging Billy? Having to listen to you!

Kirby, who was quiet for a very long time, tells us that the reason he is being so quiet is that if he said what he really thought he would be kicked out of the room. But please don’t confuse his silence for him not standing up for what he believes in!  That’s right folks, just because his fellow council members had a difference of opinion concerning some aspects on how this application was brought forth Kirby has to muster up all the stoicism he can to contain his rightful outrage!  How very brave of him! He does eventually succumb to his baser nature and calls his fellow council members corrupt! Billy then echos: Yeah corrupt!!!

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Wouldn’t be the first time!!!

To this Jerry cannot not keep quiet!! Nor should he!! We are all sick and tired and sick and tired of fools throwing out accusations without any proof. So our hero of the evening, the esteemed Mr. Donald, tells the idiots to define what exactly is corrupt. Because all he sees is people trying to make decisions based on their understanding of the law! He tells them to “back it up or stop talking!”

We then hear:

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Tony’s motion is voted down. M.C. puts forth a new motion stating why she’s against the application in its current form. States that she would like it to be resubmitted in three separate applications. It is at this point that we must address Tony’s behavior and tone this evening. He’s very upset that this application isn’t going to get approved and tries time and time again to pin M.C. in a corner. He calls her motion “convoluted” and says that the last time she made a motion it landed them in court. Real mature, huh? We think that Tony is really used to getting his way, so when someone challenges him he doesn’t know how to handle it in any kind of constructive manner. Kinda like the bookends. Great job Mr. Chmelik, you are now officially one of them.

We are going to have to watch the second half, which reconvened at 7:00, tomorrow. Those three have put us over the edge tonight.

Straight talk. Coming right at ya. Wait, whut?

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It looks like #kirbydelauter has a brand new website up and running. We are guessing it is just to make sure you know all the ways you can give him your hard earned cash money, for anyone who still has something left after the rush to invest in gold bouillon. Honestly, if we could send him a negative check for all the pain and suffering we have endured over the last almost 2 years we would. Maybe we will send him a bill instead. Like an invoice. Not proposed legislation. We are still waiting to see him come up with one of those on his own. We may as well be Waiting for Godot.

He also wants to make sure you know who all his friends supporters are.

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Who doesn’t seem like they belong here? Anyone???
Also, we think the absolute best part of his new site is under the contact tab. Kirby would LOVE to hear from you. So, how about it? We definitely think you should give him a piece of your mind. Or ours. Be sure to let us know if you actually get a response that features “straight talk and straight answers.” It seems out of character.

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We didn’t say it.

Your oscillating Yokel round-up!

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Happy Friday y’all!!! Lots of good stuff to point out to you today, so let’s get started!

Adam Umak, proprietor of Frederick County Fact Check, had an excellent LTE in the paper this morning. Make sure you take a look at it. We cannot let Senator Hough and Delegate Afzali get away with this thinly veiled attack on our County  Executive!

Speaking of our CE,  in today’s Political Notes we were made aware of a Town Hall meeting next week. So, if you’ve got anything to say, get your behind over to Winchester Hall at 7 p.m. this upcoming Thursday.

Now for your end of the week comic relief. Kirby weighs in on the dueling ethics bills presented to the Maryland General Assembly this week:

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You can’t wordsmith Kirby! 

Let this quote sink in folks:

“Never notified any land owners and then claims she knew nothing of the plan after the excrement hit the oscillating wind chime.”

That is our new favorite Kirby quote! Man oh man, you can’t make this stuff up! Have a great weekend!

Let’s bond authorize those bills into a public hearing! Your February 21st drinking extravaganza!

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Sprinkles looks like he means business!
LOOONG agenda tonight! With this much on the the docket there’s little chance of emerging unscathed. You must really use your best judgment on which parts to follow or you are in extreme danger of sounding like Kirby does when he’s beating his dead horses all over the Facebook. Grab your agenda, click on over to Frederick’s best reality TV station, and get ready for your local government in action!

Every time Billy says YES before speaking, an annoying little habit he possesses, slam back your favorite shot. Think of this as free drink time!

All the budget adjustments, agenda and minute approvals and approval of County Executive appointments have become all so, YAWN!, boring to us. Just let your eyes glaze over a bit as Billy refuses to approve the minutes. Remember people, he’s bravely taking a stand against something  nothing!

Finance hero Lori Depies is asking for the council to reauthorize some bonds. She’s always so brave and calm in having to mire through the nonsense that is Shrelauter. If they give her any grief, ask any irrelevant questions or use this as an attempt to grandstand slam back a couple of Bad Hombres. They were the ones Trump was speaking of, right?

We have four first readings of bills and what in Zeus’ daylight is this?

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We appear to have dueling tasting room bills!!! Who will win the showdown, tis too early to tell. Knock back a couple of Dueling Banjos in honor of the show that will be laid before us. But hey, at least Tony is introducing some bills which is a lot more than we can say for the bookends.

Third and final reading on the Small Business Real Property Tax Credit. We’ve discussed, during readings one and two, how our friendly businessmen should be all on board with this. We predict not, since it’s their job to obstruct, not make things better. When this predictability ensues sip on your Slap In The Face. You know you want to!

Break Time! If it isn’t close to 7:00, Billy will complain and moan and nobody will care! Just smile at his childish antics and have a sip or two of your Raging Bitch. 

At 7:00 we reconvene for the Urbana Rezoning application. We talked a little of this when it came up at last week’s workshop. We predict we will see lots of friends of the Yokel up at the podium this evening. This is probably going to be a long hearing, so pace yourself with your favorite bottle of wine.

Council member comments AKA Where everything goes to hell in a hand-basket!  Let’s take a look into our crystal balls and see if we can make some predictions:

  1. Kirby will dead horse beat the issue of Jessica and Jerry voting on the budget.
  2. Kirby will say Jan’s unethical because she wasn’t on board with Hough’s unvetted, last- minute ethics bill. He’ll pull out some donations that Jan received that “proves” she’s a criminal. But hey, don’t forget what we found.
  3. Billy wants to have a whole entire workshop on why he can’t Skype into closed meetings.
  4. Someone will say Jan is grabbing all the land up.
  5. M.C. and Jessica will be forced to use their time to real time fact check Shrelauter.

Hashtag humblebrag and other local loco

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Have you asked yourselves what the local locos are up to lately? Are you sure you even want to know? Spoiler alert: probably not!

Oh you complete bumbling fool. This was not your shining moment, just like your idiot president.
Oh you complete, bumbling fool (but thank you, yet again, for proving it on Facebook). It’s kind of weird that you didn’t notice that this episode was not your shining moment, but having failed to realize what that was all about, it is less shocking that you failed to notice what the rest of us–even on Fox news–did about yesterday’s circus.

Today Kirby is posting on his page about how he attacked the media and afterward was trending higher than Kanye. Head, meet desk. WHAM. Would Councilman Delauter like to recall a couple of things? When this occurred, he was getting schooled for his First Amendment failure by the national media. Remember that time Snoop diagnosed Kanye (need we spell out that Snoop Dogg live reporting Kanye’s mental break is NSFW?) and it was the funniest thing evah! Wouldn’t we love to hear him weigh in on this situation…Councilman Delauter may also want to check himself, considering the fact that Kanye is also never trending for doing something right!

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Look! It’s Yeezus on a Cracker!

Speaking of delusional dolts on Facebook, there’s also this gem from Shrelauter’s other half:

Yes, all the media opportunities are surely drying up as Watergate Part Treason plays out before us. Once again with the not knowing any history and the repeating variations on themes.
Yes, all the media opportunities are surely drying up as Watergate Part Treason plays out before us. Once again with the not knowing any history and the repeating variations on themes.

 

 

Zoning out on the zoning workshop. And what did Kirby accuse the libs of inventing today?!

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Yesterday’s workshop agenda had two purposes. The first purpose was to change some of the procedures in regard to rezoning hearings. They were passed 7-0, click here to see the changes in red.

The second part of the meeting was to inform the council about the upcoming public hearing concerning the Urbana rezoning application. The application was read aloud to council members so they would be prepared for next week’s public hearing . If you would like to peruse the details, clicky here.

Billy ends the workshop by demanding there be more workshops on why he can’t call into closed sessions and tracking all the rogue inspectors running loose through the county.

Kirby blames a lot on the liberals. (AKA Libs!) Today’s edition of “How terrible those libards are” is a sight to behold:

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WHEEE! It’s always hard to know where to begin with these kinds of posts. Apparently,  the civil and women’s rights movements were all an unnecessary waste of time! Didn’t your history teacher enlighten you to the fact that business owners didn’t give a damn about any of those things? IN FACT, liberals made up the concepts of race, gender and ethnicity just to stick it to the businessman! Businessmen all over the world have always been at the forefront of the equality movements. If they happened to be a bigoted, misogynistic pig, well, a GOOD employee could just take their feet and find a job elsewhere. There’s so many jobs to be had people! There’s no reason that KLY needs to introduce this pesky legislation.  It’s a true historical fact that before those pesky libs got involved in labeling, everything was great! Women and minorities had equal rights and there were rainbows and unicorns everywhere! Right?!

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SHUT UP HISTORY!!!

In the comment section of this post we have even MORE Young family drama:

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Really, Blaine? You are accusing someone of playing the trouble card. Don’t let the irony knock you down on that one!

 

Kirby told us to follow the money…

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From the #SAD teardrop flow chart to Tuesday night’s council member comments!, Kirby keeps reminding us to follow the money. He loves to throw around catchy sayings such as: “Everything’s for sale around here!” and “Gotta pay to play!” He also listed off a bunch of “suspicious” campaign donations that Jan has received. M.C. warned him that he may regret getting into the game of listing off campaign donations and to that we say: Oh we hope so! Here’s a sampling of donations that Kirby has received since 2014. Feel free to explore the list yourself at Maryland’s campaign finance website.

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