Giving Tuesday, Yo!

Over the weekend we highlighted the Emerge Maryland Virtual Bath Bombs to support women candidates. Suggestion: if you are participating in Giving Tuesday, perhaps you might like to give a Bath Bomb in the name of #Kirby Delauter, if you are feeling the super saucy holiday Local Yokel spirit! And in that vein, we have a few other ideas.

A nice lady from Stop Child Predators wrote an LTE commending the Council decision to set up a task force on human trafficking. It would be an excellent idea to send them some $$$ in honor of our most ridiculous former county commissioner/prostitution aficionado/aspiring D5 councilperson.

A donation to the NAACP in honor of Tony Chmelik. Why? No reason. No reason at all.

And last but not least, a donation to Frederick County Public Libraries in honor of Billy Shreve.

Middle finger!
Middle finger!

 

 

If you think we are putting up with this you’ve done gone lost your marbles!

Over the past two days we’ve seen some really disturbing things on the interwebs. If you are a fan of our work, it wouldn’t take a mental giant to discern that we were devastated over the results of the Presidential election. Not just because Trump won, but also because we were/are fearful that the xenophobic, sexist and racist among us would take his election as a sign that their views are legitimate and should be sung to the world. Local case in point:

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So even when his comment was questioned by two womenfolk, he decided to double down! Look Blaine, the First Lady is not there to be your eye candy! In fact, not one of us ladies is put upon this Earth for that ridiculous purpose. How dare you insinuate that is what the First Lady is meant for? As though if she hasn’t met your definition of what a woman should look like then she is not worthy of the position? We are sure that Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is spinning in her grave for you to make that kind of comparison.  This just shows us, once again, that leopard’s spots have NOT changed.

Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!
Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!

 

Who had a little too much Halloween punch last night?

Hello faithful readers, we hope you had a very Happy Halloween. In this last week leading up to the election, we thought y’all could use some comic relief. An alert Facebook reader sent this down the ole Yokel line today:

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Either can we! The tears won’t stop coming down!

Can you imagine if he were our County Executive! We know, Halloween is over and we shouldn’t be scaring you any longer. I think we are oh so glad and relieved that we managed to sidestep having our very own John Leopold in Frederick. We’ve also been made aware that some of the more…how shall we say…”sophisticated” among us have advocated writing Blaine’s name in for the BOE race. Because sure! What better role model for our kids and school system than that guy! How many sex scandals until you are ineligible for the school board? We forget.

Who could be better? Oh yeah! These three:

3 and done!
3 and done!

It’s poll time again!

So if you are like us, and we are going to assume you are since you are reading, you have been anxiously awaiting the results from our last poll in which you picked out ringtones for the members of the council. We are going to have to apologize in advance to anyone who happens to be nearby when the phones ring. It could get embarrassing.

 

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Ermahgerd, can you believe who is calling us???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And finally our infotainment selection:

 

It’s pretty hard to follow up those polls. So much serious stuff is going on at the national level. Is it election day yet?

So to try to keep things light(ish), we have this week’s poll. Have you been keeping up with the proposed downtown hotel? What is your verdict?

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Ok, so maybe it won’t look exactly like this…

 

 

 

Can we have one meeting where someone doesn’t complain about the nursing home? The answer, of course, is no.

The discussion of whether or not to approve the non binding Memorandum Of Understanding (MOU)  began and ended with exactly the same point. This meeting was to discuss the county’s TIF (Tax Incremental Funding) bond of $2.8 million. That’s it. Doug Browning (nice to see you back Doug!) and Council Member Keegan-Ayer made that clear at the beginning and end of the discussion. That’s all the county has to consider at this point. Sounds easy, right? WRONG.

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Kirby wants it KNOWN that the agreement signed in 2014 with the city is not the same one they are speaking of now. Actually, as Council Member Donald points out, it is! Jerry tells Kirby that he can read it to him and Kirby says: You can read what is says but I am going to tell you what it means!!! That’s right folks, forget about all that vocabulary you learned during your fancy elite schooling because it doesn’t matter! Kirby will now tell you what all the words mean!! Isn’t that a relief?  He wants to make sure that all you jerks are not going to “pin this” on the last BOCC! Kirby rambles on about how everyone is being disingenuous dangling the carrot of Main Street money in front of municipalities. Because of course they will say yes to money! Durh! And finally, he would have never voted for this if he had known we were picking the winners and losers in the hotel business. Hmm, winners and losers… that sounds familiar. Where have we heard that line before?

True conservative Republicans would say that being open for business means no government restrictions, other than protecting the public, allowing the free market to dictate winners and losers.

That’s right, those exact words were in Blaine’s last column that he wrote for the Frederick News Post before that honor was taken away from him because of that unfortunate hotel thing.

Jerry makes some more points about the increase in tax revenue the county will receive and Kirby uses that opportunity to bemoan the nursing homes….again.

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Now Billy is waiting in the corner to pounce. He’s got a bunch of  nonsensical questions that all have a very reasonable answer. He tries with a mortgage analogy and fails miserably. Then he tries a car. Tells Doug and Richard it’s as though you are giving them a brand new car and saying here just change the oil and take care of the tires. But bless Richard’s heart, he turns the car analogy around and says: No, it’s as though they built almost the entire car, including the engine, and now they have to take care of it. Thank you for playing along with our village idiot sir.

We haven’t heard much from Tony lately, but he’s using tonight as his chance to step back into the spotlight. He’s doing his thing where he tells us he’s going to vote for whatever is on the table, however, you people are still going to listen to all of his objections to it first. The most curious was that he was lamenting the fact that Fort Detrick would be using a 4 star hotel to hold their meetings. He’s insinuating that those kinds of accommodations are way too nice for government employees. Jeeze, you greedy tax suckers, can’t you just be happy with the old waffle house down by the highway?

M.C. is exasperated by all this talk and tries to redirect the fellas back to the task at hand.  You are only voting on the TIF of $2.8 million (which is lower than what was agreed to in 2014) that will only be used for public improvements, STOP GRANDSTANDING!

No new business items to consider and they vote to go into closed session. Well, all except Billy, because he’s trying to get attention again. Meeting on whether or not they will vote on this MOU will take place on October 25.

Polls, polls and more polls!

As always, before starting a new poll, we need to close out our last one.

 

 

Looks like you think there will be a bonfire at Winchester Hall in the near future.

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Just kidding. Sort of.

We hope you all remember the council meeting where Council President’s Otis’ phone rang and everyone was treated to his “Bad to the Bone” ringtone.
That got us thinking. We need your to help us decide what ringtones to assign to each council member and some other locals that we want to set up on our speed dials.

We realize this means you will have to do extra work this week with all these polls, but we think it is important enough to ask you to take the time to complete each one.

We also highly recommend you google the lyrics of any titles of which you are not familiar. WARNING: some of these songs contain lyrics that some may find highly applicable offensive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And for infotainment purposes only:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One does not remove thyself from public life by continuing to call into the radio!

1apjnk

 

Despite his promises that he was going to remove himself from the public view, Blaine can’t seem to stay away from those WFMD airwaves.(Which is funny because we heard that DC 101 was super anxious to talk to him last week.) Whether it’s calling Bob Miller up to admit he lied to the judge, or appearing on Pattee Brown’s weekend show to recite a laundry list of excuses, he just can’t seem to help himself.

“What is it now?”, we can hear you groan!  Apparently he called in again yesterday to bash Jan’s decision to bring Montevue and Citizens back into county control. False equivalency is up first on the menu:

“The fact is this government shouldn’t be in the health care business. I think that we’re learning that at the national level with people wanting to overturn Obama Care,” Young said.

He’s got to find a way to bring Obama into this doesn’t he? Well, he might be right to a degree. A recent Gallup poll found that almost 60% of people favor getting rid of the ACA in favor of a single payer system. That’s right, people want MORE government regulation of their healthcare.

Here’s the part that really gets us though. You would think if one really wanted to argue how bad a deal being in the healthcare business is for the county one would be a tad more articulate than this:

“We have lost tens of millions of dollars, as high as maybe sixty or eighty million dollars, maybe one hundred million,”

And this part just doesn’t make any sense at all:

“And obviously Aurora must be good at patient care because they’re going to be taking care of the patients now up to the next 18 months. Which my prediction is that they will be in there longer than that. This is just a ploy to kind of say that I’m taking it back and that someone else is going to run it because all we ever heard about was how bad Aurora was,” Young said.

Mostly we heard what a bad financial deal this was for the county. Coupled with the fact that our indigent residents would no longer be guaranteed the care they so deserve. But how is it a ploy? That sentence makes zero sense.

1aptjo

Why does WFMD keep giving him an outlet in which to express himself?

 

Bruce Lee once said showing off is the fool’s idea of glory. Your September 6 county council run down.

Continue reading “Bruce Lee once said showing off is the fool’s idea of glory. Your September 6 county council run down.”

Your Yokel Ladies are famous y’all!

We’ll try not to put on airs! No promises though!

If you haven’t seen it yet, go out and pick yourself up a copy of September’s Frederick Magazine. Inside you will find an article entitled “Politics in the Blogosphere” by the very talented Katherine Heerbrandt. Upon those glossy pages you’ll get a good scoop on your favorite blog, Frederick County Fact Check (http://www.frederickcountyfactcheck.org), and some other guys. It’s only $3.95, and you’ll be supporting your local print media. (While you are at it pick up the Washingtonian as well. There’s a very good article about Frederick politics. Your Lady Yokels were also contacted, however, due to busy summer schedules we were not able to make time to talk with the reporter).

While we are sure many of our readers will thoroughly enjoy the Frederick Magazine article, we were contacted via email with some unsolicited advice from one of the other bloggers who was mentioned very briefly in the story. He feels that  we are never going to be taken seriously as journalists if we don’t reveal our identities. Curious that it is impossible to debate ideas without the opportunity to engage in ad hominem attacks, isn’t it? And now, we must reiterate that anyone mistaking us for journalists absolutely must read a real newspaper, whether you like it or not. We are not attempting to provide journalism. This is infotainment, people. As to why we choose to feature Blaine, again…infotainment. He is bursting with infotainment potential. For example, he appears to think Kirby Delauter will be our next County Executive (which just is not nice to Kirby, being honest). He also seems to be looking at a run in D5, so brace yourself for the infinite infotainment. SorryNotSorry.

I didn't want to be a part of that article anyway!
I didn’t want to be a part of that article anyway!

By: Woebegone Putupon of the Shantytown

But we were told Frederick County was the most business unfriendly entity on the face of the EARTH!

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We’ve been told by Blaine, Kirby and Billy that Frederick County is CLOSED for business. We’ve been told that our county is the most business unfriendly entity on the face of our entire planet. We’ve been told that our County Executive is a big vindictive meanie that targets businesses who flagrantly rip up our county’s regulations and set them on fire. So how can this story in the FNP be true? You can read it for yourselves, but we’ve pulled out the nice little chart for you:

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Someone is wrong. Who could it be?