Polls, polls and more polls!

As always, before starting a new poll, we need to close out our last one.



Looks like you think there will be a bonfire at Winchester Hall in the near future.

Just kidding. Sort of.

We hope you all remember the council meeting where Council President’s Otis’ phone rang and everyone was treated to his “Bad to the Bone” ringtone.
That got us thinking. We need your to help us decide what ringtones to assign to each council member and some other locals that we want to set up on our speed dials.

We realize this means you will have to do extra work this week with all these polls, but we think it is important enough to ask you to take the time to complete each one.

We also highly recommend you google the lyrics of any titles of which you are not familiar. WARNING: some of these songs contain lyrics that some may find highly applicable offensive.










And for infotainment purposes only:








Last night’s council meeting: the good, the bad, the UGLY

The Good

First things first, in the spirit of Cannes, the red carpet looks. Jerry looking professorial in a good way with his jacket and tie, Jessica in a delightful chartreuse, and MC with a classic scarf (bold neckwear a salute to her rapper image). Bud is elegant as always, with pinstripes in his suit. Tony is in “Friday at the office” wear, with a short sleeve plaid button up. He and Kirby forgot their county pins. It happens. Plus, Kirby can’t pin stuff on that Under Armour fabric. It leaves holes, but that’s okay since Billy wore an appliquéd school uniform with a truly enormous county seal to make up for it. A smart nod to his role as an elected official (which may fail when juxtaposed with the fact that he never acts like one). Nobody knows what they’re wearing from the waist down. Maybe bare feet like everybody else. ?

Do all the council members have these official looking outfits? Serious question.
Do all the council members have these official looking outfits? Serious question.

As an added bonus, things start with a public comment from a speaker wearing a Delauter campaign shirt. Wonder what he’s gonna say. haaaaaaa


We’re out to lunch on Tony Chmelik. Quality acting from him as he belabors questions about taxes that don’t increase but do. He is perfectly credible in his portrayal of a person who has never paid taxes and has no idea what happens when property assessments increase (or when they don’t). He seems fit for higher office, with his doe-eyed looks and even-tempered behavior. Which is sort of scary to start thinking, because we do not drink the tea here.

The Bad

There were numerous opportunities for Bud and the Democrats (great band name) to say some version of, “We’ve already covered all of this, and we’re not going to talk about it anymore.” To explain the logical fallacy of comparing the teachers to Kirby’s business, again. To explain that taxes pay for stuff we need, and we need 4 new deputies. That’s when we remembered Sheriff Jenkins rolled along in some earlier meeting with his “cream rises to the top” thinking and complained that he can’t afford quality, and Bud also noted that such logic applies to the school system as well.


We had to fortify with a glass of Sledgehammer before even clicking on the archives. If we had come up with a drinking game for this meeting, everyone playing would have died of alcohol poisoning. The only saving grace is that hardly anyone in the county even pays attention to this stuff, so they’d all be fine. Maybe that part should be demoted to the ugly section.

The Ugly

Now there’s going to be crazy infighting amongst your local yokel writers over who loves Bud the most, because he pulled out a most brilliant thing. He said, “You get what you pay for.” Yes he did. And we swooned.


Kirby started off with a tantrum and called Bud a chickenshit. By the end of the meeting he looked like he was going to explode again. Swiveling back and forth in his chair, with his elbows sticking out from behind his head.

Who looks like a punk? Huh.
Who looks like a punk? Huh.

The worst of it all is that Billy and Kirby treated the council meeting the same way they treat going on WFMD. They wasted time, they ranted and raved. They spent considerable energy pretending that they had some real ideas about the budget, but we watched that, and it was like a kindergartener doing art work. You don’t put that stuff in the Smithsonian. Their behavior is ridiculous.