Holy Zeus! We’ve been doing this for ten years!

As we sat around the Round Table at Yokel Headquarters late last week, your Lady Yokels could hardly believe that 10 years had lapsed since we began this endeavor. In celebration of this milestone anniversary we will like to take you on a stroll down memory lane.

Not sure that everyone does, so we are going to retell it!

10 years ago, after reading this LTE, https://www.fredericknewspost.com/places/local/frederick_county/frederick/blaine-young-work-together-or-nothing-will-get-accomplished/article_b1616559-e265-5a0d-9fbc-fe09bfdbe811.html, from our anti-muse, Blaine Young, a group of what became known as the Lady Yokels met in our favorite coffee spot, Dublin Roasters. After we appropriately insulted both Blaine Young and his very poor analysis of why he lost, we decided that we needed to shine the spotlight not only on Blaine, but also on his buddies, Kirby Delauter, Billy Shreve, and Tony Chmelik. At first, we discussed writing a book, but nixed that idea fairly quickly as we knew keeping an eye on these people was going to be a very fluid situation. By the end of that first meeting we decided to embark upon a blog to educate people on what is not often at the top of their to-do list, the inner workings of their local government. (Don’t worry, we’ve also kept an eye on Blaine so every time he tries to slither back into politics we are there to remind everyone of his arrests and bad behavior!)

For the next four years we religiously watched every county council meeting. More often than not, we created a drinking game to accompany such meetings in order to spice things up a bit. Here’s an example:

We sincerely hope that we didn’t hurt anyone’s livers as these games were only meant for fun. Over the first four years we made sure that everyone had a front seat to just how crazy things were with those three on the council. Here’s a curated sampling from our archives:

While there are so many artifacts from this part of Yokel history, this is still hands down our favorite:

Backstory: Kirby wanted to prove that the Citizens for Quality of Life PAC was corrupt, but you will notice that nothing comes out of the PAC and somehow Jessica ended up with everything!

After one term in office, Kirby and Billy tried to obtain a higher office, while Tony wanted to stay put. Thankfully enough people paid attention and NONE of that happened! We sent our three amigos out with a departing post:

After saner folks got on the council we kinda checked out on that scene, though we did decide to check back once last summer and boy was there some drama:

Our main, but certainly not our only focus, has been the Frederick County School Board. People often underestimate (though perhaps that sentiment isn’t as true as it was in the past) the damage the wrong people can do on a school board. Just take a look at Colt Black and Jaime Brennan! The person who dragged us into this new focus was none other than Cindy Rose. Thankfully everyone understood how bad she would be, and after four failed attempts, she has finally seemed to have given up. Here’s some highlights of what we had to say about that one:

Hopefully we will be more successful next year in reminding everyone how to do the math with the school board candidates so we don’t get left with the shit show we have right now.

Thank you all for an interesting and fun ten years! Think of your Lady Yokels tonight as we clink our glasses together and hope that we can survive another ten years of politics! We appreciate all of you being a part of this journey.

Our Top 5 Posts of 2024! Let’s see if we can identify a pattern!

We’ve been through a lot this year Yokels! But like the dumpster above we are going to have to find some way to plant a dumb little smile on our faces and solider on! You may see a pattern with our top five posts this year! Coming it at #5:

5. Let’s Armchair Quarterback Those Primary Election Results:

In this post we had a lot to celebrate, most especially that Dan Cox got knocked out in the primary! Towards the end we had a warning about the school board election results that was not heeded by enough folks!

4. A Yokel Stroll Down Memory Lane! Let’s Check in With That County Council.

In the midst of the summer heat, we decided to go back to our roots and watch a county council meeting. We had pulled away from doing so after Kirby, Billy, and Tony (Maybe we should think twice before voting for people whose names end in Y- except you Jerry!) got sent back home! It wasn’t a pleasant experience, so we haven’t been back. Though recently we’ve been alerted to some of the Frederick City Council meetings and we may have to pay more attention to those as there is an election next year!

3. It’s Time to Get Real about the BOE Election!

We tried folks! We tried!

2. Calling All Voters, And We Mean All, The BOE Primary is just around the Corner!

See comments for #3.

  1. And for our number one spot, the man whose letter to editor about his loss to Jan spurred the creation of this blog, occupies our most read post of the year: Blaine Young Can’t Seem to Keep Himself Out of Trouble:

We looked at West Virginia’s case search and his trial date is in 4 days:

Did you notice the theme? We need to do a better job of only supporting and promoting the exact number of candidates as there are open seats on the board of education. Some people are starting to get it:

https://www.fredericknewspost.com/frederick-county-dems-consider-limit-on-recommendations-for-school-board-race/article_d828c07c-85d7-581a-b3dd-0be0c5a6e7d8.html

So unless we want a Board of Education that will support Donald Trump’s agenda of destroying the public education system, we need to be sure everyone understands how these elections work!

We wish all of our readers a peaceful holiday week and as good a 2025 that we can muster through!

A Yokel Stroll Down Memory Lane! Let’s check in with that County Council!

Sure wish we saw this before we tuned in this evening!

If you’ve been with us since our inception in 2015, then you are well aware that we made it a habit to religiously watch and report on the county council meetings. (Here’s a sampling if you are newer to our blog). We kept a good eye on Kirby, Billy, and Tony and made everyone aware of how they behaved on that council dais. When 2018 rolled around and all of our “characters” were expelled by the good voters of our fine county, so we took a break from the meetings as things seemed to be going so well.

Your good Lady Yokels have been talking about checking in on the council, kind of a walk down memory lane, to see how things have been going lately. Turns out the answer is:

First some context. The Frederick News Post ran an article and Council member McKay made a social media post about his building moratorium bill. You can read it here because we aren’t going to get into all of the allegations because we don’t know exactly what happened either and you can read all about it in the link. What we will say is that the first fifteen minutes of the meeting was a back and forth between Steve McKay, Brad Young, Kavonte Duckett, and the Chief Administrative Officer about these allegations, which was all an explanation as to why McKay wasn’t voting for the agenda. I mean we don’t have anyone abstaining like Billy used to do, but this was a whole drama onto itself. Must be that drama is now an honored tradition at council meetings! Thanks a lot Billy and Kirby!

Public comment leads us to our next part of the agenda. We are giddy while we wait to see if any of our old friends will grace the microphone. But alas it was not to be! However, the old theme of it mirroring public comment on the show Parks and Rec is still going strong.

Okay, maybe we exaggerate a tad. One man was there to talk about Steve’s bill which was the only thing resembling a comment relevant to the work of the council. Another dude showed up to ask for free farm land and encourage people to come to a rally in Montgomery County to celebrate the release of Julian Assange. And the rest were there to get the county council to issue a cease fire resolution to Israel. One man even admitted that the city already told him that didn’t seem like a local issue! We’ll see what the council thinks about all that, but looks to us that some folks are barking up the wrong tree.

M.C. is on the opposite side of the dais, but it was good to hear her voice again. Same goes for Jerry, as they are the only two remnants of our council of yesteryear. At the beginning of the meeting M.C. makes it a point to tell everyone that she pulled her bill so people wouldn’t worry about any conspiracies there!

Minutes, Budget Amendments, Appointments are all passed without a single nay or abstain! At least that much is going smoothly.

We are going to have two charter amendments to vote on come November’s ballot. Here’s the language thus far if you would like to get a head start:

  1. THE COUNCIL SHALL HOLD A PUBLIC HEARING ON ANY SUPPLEMENTAL APPROPRIATION TO THE GENERAL FUND IN EXCESS OF $1,000,000.

2. EXCEPT AS PROVIDED ELSEWHERE IN THIS CHARTER OR
PRESCRIBED BY LAW, AFTER A PUBLIC HEARING ON THE
MATTER, THE COUNCIL MAY REMOVE THE APPOINTED HEAD OF
A DEPARTMENT, AGENCY, OR OFFICE UPON THE AFFIRMATIVE
VOTE OF FIVE COUNCIL MEMBERS.

There’s a backyard chicken bill put forth by Mason Carter. Renee Knapp has some amendments in which Mason Carter doesn’t seem to be too found of. The amendments pass, with a nay from Carter and McKay. Which means this bill goes back to public hearing.

We end with public comment with more from the cease fire folks. One man comes in to admonish Steve for not talking to people before he accused them of wrongdoing in the newspaper. When it comes time for council member comments, McKay tells him it’s a two-way street. The rest of the council member comments are pretty tame and appropriate to the meeting.

And then it’s over. And while the meetings are lacking the stupidity and ignorance that Kirby and Billy brought to the table, the tension was still there. As we are no longer loyal viewers, we hope that this is a one off. But maybe we’ll have to tune in on July 16th to double check.

Vote for your new Frederick County Flag: Yokel style!

In case you haven’t heard, there is a contest to redesign Frederick County’s flag. If you are a serious artist, please click here for more details. We are going to have our own Yokel brand of fun with this! Vote for your favorite flag at the bottom of this post!

Choice A: The Black Book. Remember way back yonder when we had the Black Book scandal here in Fredericktowne? Here’s a design to commemorate that period in Frederick’s history.

Choice B: Y’all remember back when Billy Shreve told us that any waterway in Frederick County was safe to drink from? He never took up our challenge to drink from them all, but here’s a design to show the world how safe and pollution free all of our waterways are around here!

Choice C: This comes from a post that Blaine Young was tagged in.(Actual post was deleted, so we found a similar pic for this flag) Yes, the same Blaine Young rumored to be in the Black Book, and the same one in fact arrested for soliciting a prostitute from a website. Such class some of our former politicians have displayed!

Choice D: There was a lot of bellyaching from Billy and Kirby when they had to park in a garage directly across the street from Winchester Hall, and then Billy had the indignity of losing his keys. Let’s take a moment to consider a flag to honor this dark period in Frederick County history.

Choice E: Who could forget our own Frederick County pioneers who braved the overflowing Monocacy River after Hurricane Sandy, armed with a thermos of Whiskey Sours, in order to go shopping at Wal Mart? Let’s salute their bravery and superior common sensical skills with this flag:

Choice F: Oh the time we made national news because of our very own Kirby Delauter. This story was spurred by Kirby telling a reporter that if she ever used his name again, he would sue her! Whew!

Choice G: Kirby made the best flowchart in the history of the world, so why shouldn’t we display that on our flag? I guess he was right about Jessica getting all the money since she was able to run a successful campaign to be County Executive!

Choice H: Of course we are going to self promote and ask for your vote for our logo as the new symbol for our county flag!

Now, it’s time to vote for your favorite!

We can’t wait to see the winning design, though we know some will be very upset over the change! But folks just look at our flag:

We deserve better than that!

Your Yokel Top 10 2022 Countdown!

What a year it has been!

Let’s be realistic folks!

Per tradition we bring to you our top 10 most popular posts of the year! Let’s jump right in!

#10- Breaking down Cindy Rose’s “pornography” claims!

We are going to have to deal with this issue for quite some time since FCPS had to form a committee over her nonsense. Let’s hope that she and her ilk can learn the meaning of the word pornography. We won’t hold our breaths.

She sure doesn’t!

#9-Let’s make sure we get some good candidates on the BOE!

3 out of 4 isn’t bad! However, we are going to have to teach some folks in our community that we don’t just vote for the first name on the ballot just because we chose to remain uninformed about the election!

#8-Sound the alarm: be sure *independent & unaffiliated* voters know to vote in the primary July 19, 2022 (early voting the 7th – 14th)

Our post reminding independent and unaffiliated voters made the number 8 spot on our list. We always need to remind our unaffiliated friends that they can vote in the BOE primary election, and it’s important that they do so!

#7- Alright people, Hough says this is very serious business!

Except it absolutely was not! Thank goodness we don’t have to deal with him in our fine county.

Move along!

#6-There’s quite a few of you who should be ashamed of yourselves!

This post concerned the absolutely appalling behavior that some of our community members (You know Cindy was involved) showed at a Family Life Advisory meeting. We always need to be careful of people who can’t comprehend what they read, or worse yet, don’t read and then make things up to purposefully enflame people.

#5-Chmelik wants to be on our council again? BAHAHA..NO!

Tony Chmelik, one of your LadyYokel’s least favorite council members, tried to run for at at-large seat and failed. Hopefully this blast from the past reminded a few folks why we didn’t want him the last time around and prevented him from getting back on this time!

#4-Cindy Rose’s Facebook posts…a response in memes!

Our readers really seemed to enjoy our meme responses to some very questionable posts Cindy made this year. Some people should stay off social media.

For us the answer is always yes!

#3-Your Yokel pals watched the public comment (again-it’s what we do) so you don’t have to!

This was truly one of the worst public meetings we have ever had the displeasure of watching. And this is coming from a group of ladies that watched every single county council meeting for the long 4 years that Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter, and Tony Chmelik were on that board. Cindy really can bring out the worst in people.

#2-Click, Clack, No!

One of our older posts got resurrected this year because people just could not believe that Cindy would complain about Click, Clack, Moo! Sometimes we can’t believe what we see either.

It was ridiculous.

Now for our most popular post of the year:

#1-Who NOT to put on the school board. Your Yokel voter primer!

Thank goodness we kept Cindy and two of her minions off the board, plus the entire 2nd rate hate slate! We are sure we will see some of them back again, but at least we have the next two years to take a nice deep breath!

We wish all of our Local Yokel fans a wonderful holiday season and a peaceful 2023!

Is the band back together? Where is Yoko when you need her?

From the looks of this letter, we may have to define equivalence!

Blaine, Billy, and Kirby collaborated on an LTE this weekend to show us they don’t have three brain cells to rub together! What’s the reason for this bumbling reunion dispatch?! It seems the three amigos are very upset that there hasn’t been the protest “on the street corner” and debate around the water cooler about the current tax rebate that there was when they gave a $100 tax rebate back in 2012. Here’s our favorite part that really shows how these folks feel about the electorate they used to serve:

Parents voicing the need for new schools and updated schools. Nonprofits screaming about needed funding. People claiming and chanting we don’t want the measly $100 — use it for the areas in government that have a need: education, the sheriff’s office, fire and rescue, the nursing home and many social services. Then future candidate for county executive, Jan Gardner stated at debates how foolish the decision was.

Maybe, just maybe, someone should have advocated for more educational funding when they were in school! Let’s think back to these fabled days of yore they are referring to. With the exception of David Gray, the only thing this board attempted to do was privatize and dismantle as many government services as possible. They sold off the county’s nursing homes. (A move reversed by Jan Gardner) Refused to fund schools above the MOE (Maintenance of Effort) level. They told FCPS to look into building cheaper metal buildings because the schools were too fancy these days. They took away the county’s funding of the Head Start program because why can’t all the women just stay home like their wives did? They expected all county offices to do more with less! This was also done because Blaine was running for the county executive position AND both Kirby and Billy wanted a seat on the county council. So fellas, the only difference IS NOT party affiliation.

Before you Republicans get too excited, remember both Blaine and Kirby have left the Republican party. Kirby even shared this on Facebook:

And remember folks, when letters like this start appearing, it means someone is looking for a come-back. Stay vigilant!

Look at the Brain on…oops, sorry…no brain…just look at Dan.

Dan Bongino apparently has a problem with Mediaite. Imagine being a 45 year old adult whose bio reads “He is a member of the Republican Party and ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2012, 2014, and 2016…” and that’s pretty much it. You turn up at CPAC wearing a David Rose outfit (know your audience, man), perpetually looking like you’ve smeared your face in margarine, and calling *someone else* a douchebag. He is disgusting. His language is disgusting. His ideas are disgusting. His greasy face is disgusting. (Everyone at CPAC is disgusting, so at least he is in his element. “Boo Mitt Romney,” etc.)

It gets worse!

Imagine that this nasty, vulgar specimen had a fan club…it’s really just this one idiot. Our very own village idiot. We bet you know who it is…

Billy is lucky Mediaite hasn’t got to know him like they did BingoBongo. Frederick County really has something special in the water. Maybe it’s lead.

It’s Awards Season–and we have some in mind for the 2/5 County Council Meeting

Your locals bounced into the show late mid-Monocacy River Plan Presentation and it does sound like the early part of the meeting was worth listening to because there were some comments made with bipartisan concerns about things that were eliminated from the plan and we don’t have the low down on that. Our chief take away really is that it is a plan. It isn’t legislation, although it may be the basis for crafting legislation that uses the plan as a resource. If that’s the case, then you get to go through the whole process that is normal when you have an elected public official you have to talk to. Part of the plan is specifically that eminent domain should not be used, so the entire land grabbing narrative is silly. Like so many things. And we will have to return to how representative democracy works later when we had to consume the entire bottle of Barefoot Bubbly.

They ticked through the public hearing portion of the bills the council is considering rather quickly, after a brief interlude of disco video game psychedelic electronica music. Who picks that stuff?

Then there was a discussion about bills for the council to offer support to or withhold sending support to for the state delegation, and holy moly. It would be appropriate to hit the sauce just so that we can address this in writing. We are going to award the nickname Philly to Phil Dacey, due to an uncanny likeness this evening to Billy Shreve’s confusion over Roberts’ Rules everything. Tonight he was incensed that they must quickly offer opinions on items they don’t know enough about. This would seem like a BFD, if it were true that the public never gets to weigh in. But here is the thing: the public elected Delegates and Senators and Joseph(ina) Q. Public is perfectly free to contact the people who will actually be voting on these bills to let them know what their priorities are. The council opinion is not meant to convey the constituents’ opinions, so much as it is meant to offer insight from the standpoint of officials who have a closer relationship with all the invested players in the business community and pertinent county agencies. And hey, we can understand if you aren’t familiar with this process that it seems a little crazy, but at least they asked for your opinion. You can give it, or not. And there’s a little foreshadowing for you folks…

First they were to offer support or decline to support a bill to establish a registry of private laboratories that have biohazardous materials so that in the event of an emergency the first responders know about the biohazards. This is of particular concern to Frederick County for reasons that are hopefully obvious to most everyone. Steve McKay referred to this bill as a “no-brainer” because (per his explanation) basically we are talking about nasty stuff that is one step away from being weaponized. Philly indignantly snapped, “Are you implying the state delegation has no brain?” There was more agony with the hand wringing over not knowing anything about this and having to decide in a hurry (glug, glug, glug) and Kai piled on, seconding the “no-brainer” quality of this needed legislation. I mean, whoever heard of it being a big deal if anthrax happens to get out into the environment, right? Oh and also this has come up thrice already with unanimous support from the Council in every previous year, but it has passed the House of Delegates and failed in the Senate repeatedly. Jerry Donald contributed that Ron Young is optimistic that it can be passed at long last because the thorn in the Senate is not longer in office. Fingers crossed. 6 ayes, 1 abstention on this one. You can’t make this stuff up.

Phil Dacey gets the “Abstinence-Only Doesn’t Work” Award. In this case it literally means you aren’t working. Sigh.

That he was getting nowhere with tabling the opportunity to give an opinion to the delegation started to really grate at Dacey, and in turn agitate your Yokel on duty. The next one was somewhat confusing, because of a sort of double negative setup. Here’s the query: Should the Council oppose including Frederick County in State Legislation exempting Agritourism businesses from being required to meet certain life safety building and zoning standards.

Some of the more interesting work of the previous Council was working to have farm wineries and breweries and allow special events in these spaces. Because many of them are charming old barns they are susceptible to certain safety hazards (like flammability), and so this having been a thing that was extensively cultivated involving the various interested parties like brewers and vintners and farmers and county agencies, the thinking was, “Nah, we’d not like to have gone through all that and have these things exempted from safety measures.” Fire safety regulation has had its opponents previously, if you followed the rogue wedding venues dramas of the past year or so. (If not: Here, here, here.) Philly moved to table the opportunity for opinion giving. Back and forth and forth and back and then got snippy that he had a motion and M.C. had to explain that nobody seconded the motion, and then no one did, so the motion failed.

And.

He.

Kept.

Going.

There was so much whining and undignified begging. It was truly disrespectful of the process that he was so desperately trying to knight-in-shining-armor save from itself. Steve McKay and Jessica Fitzwater both said they were comfortable with taking a position, because it was a position not to do something rather than a position favoring a new measure. We have to disagree here. That is entirely beside the point, which is up above, but we will revisit. We are all free to contact our representatives in Annapolis. That is how government works. We don’t need it to pass from us through Kai Hagen and Michael Blue or whomever. Annnnnd…On that note, we are so terribly remiss in bestowing an award of gratitude upon Michael the Miracle of District 5–this is such an improvement from He Who Shan’t Be Named. With that, we will end on a positive note. Deep breaths.

Hydrate, people!

We hope you have a big jug of water by your side all day today. Drink often. You’ll need to be fully hydrated ahead of tonight’s meeting. Grab your agenda and get ready for what could be a long one.

First up are two budget items. If Billy continues to gripe about not having enough staff before abstaining on his vote, swig back a bitchy bellini.

Next up are approval of minutes and an appointment confirmation. This will be followed by public hearing on the proposed sale of a county owned building. Serve yourself a Harvey Wallbanger just because.

Three Third Readings are on the agenda next. They all involve human trafficking. When short timer and “both sides” council member Shreve says anything dumb mix yourself a man of war.

It’s break time! Hydrate with more water. Your liver needs it.

16252123_10209369588214219_7315849600476474463_o
NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING Re: Amended Bill No. 18-25 – Impartiality of Planning Commission and Board of Appeals MembersAn Amendment to: clarify the matters and proceedings to which the Bill applies. This is about as confusing as the infamous flow chart. Bob is always mired in these insane ramblings.

First up after the break are several public hearings. Things could get testy. Steel your nerves with a bourbon pumpkin smash. Tony is up first with his perhaps personal vendetta led impartiality bill. Next up are some high adjustments to the fy2019 budget. This would move up the Oakdale Middle School addition,  move up the design approval for a new east county elementary school, and move up the modernization/addition project at Brunswick High School. Drink an appletini to celebrate if all 3 are approved.

Last up for discussion is a budget item which involves lots of wins for fire/safety in Frederick County. Celebrate with a fire engine.

The meeting will end with council member comments. We are sure we won’t even care what Shrevelauter have to say. Best to return to drinking water. Don’t you have to adult tomorrow???

7f35d2999fe06275c57b1f4cd12d3fc3--drinking-memes-beer-bottles
Go to work!

 

 

Lost in the woods: decisions, decisions, decisons edition

Your council thingy for today. Billy Shreve has a proposal. (Isn’t that the beginning of a spooky campfire tale?) Well, here, we were going to transcribe it, but have a screen grab for efficiency:

We are not “a lawyer”, but how does the County legislate the State? If the thing we think is a thing is a thing, chug a 40.

READER UPDATE: Anne Hicks (thank you, Anne!) points out that Billy wants these residences to be edible! Dipped in sewer sauce. YUM.

Next decision is whether or not the preferred bureaucracy gets to oversee a photovoltaic (that’s solar, yo) array at the Ballenger-McKinney wastewater treatment plant. This is for reasons of red tape and red tape minimization specifically. Billy will whine impertinently, because whining about solar is one of his hobbies, ranked just after rollerblading and growing out that mullet-tail. If we are also right about who whines here…do nothing. Because a serious horror show is coming, and you will want to be in top form for…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 6 proposed amendments to the Act to Adjust School Construction Fees.

Goodnight, and good luck. We will all be at soccer. Let us know who/what gets tossed in the wood chipper or whatever.