Epic meeting of February 6th: round 1

The yokels all missed the very beginning, only to tune in as Melanie Cox of the League of Women Voters was saying, “…give us a chance to speak.” The immediate assumption is that this is about the botched process for changing Frederick County’s representation to the Maryland Association of Counties (MACO). If we’re wrong about that, let us know and we will edit. We keep threatening to write a meeting up without watching it and see if we can guess what happens, because we know our characters purty stinkin well at this point. For example, Melanie Cox is a classy lady for whom dignity and propriety is important, so under the circumstances, it makes sense to leap to the conclusion that she would have liked to see a transparent process for the thing that…spoiler alert…comes to fruition later on.

Regular examples of totally predictable events: Budget adjustments. Everyone votes for those, except Billy the Abstinent. Then everyone votes to approve the minutes, except Billy the Obstinate. And you also already know that he couldn’t bother to speak into his microphone.

We have a presentation on a Mutual Aid Agreement with the Washington County Sheriff’s Department and the Hagerstown P.D. A member of the Sheriff’s department comes in our Sheriff’s stead, because… hold on to your little ACLU fold-up Constitutions…because Jenkins is out of pocket. Why? Because he is meeting with The President about immigration. Another of the Yokels had a boss who used meeting with the president as her euphemism for going to do her powder room business, which makes us snicker.

Mr. Yokel observes from the other couch, “The President of What???” We will not go into our skepticism of Jenkins’ qualifications on this subject, from the vantage point of living on the Mason-Dixon border. Riding Arpaio’s coattails onto Fox is all the qualifications the Dunning-Kruger Administration requires. Mr. Yokel still believes this tale is sound and fury signifying nothing, and since Newt Gingrich declared that facts are no longer a thing (and heck if he isn’t painfully right), we will all believe in whatever manner our emotional states’ require. The decision is in favor of a cooperative approach to providing for the common defence.

We move on to stripping M.C. Keegan-Ayer of her appointment to MACO so that Tony Chmelik can have it. M.C. is classy and abstains from voting on a matter that pertains to herself. Guess who doesn’t?! Both of them speak in favor of improving the process by which this is done. Great idea…

There’s a presentation about closing the intersection of Old Frederick Rd. at 15, for the sake of safety and traffic efficiency. Much more of this is needed in that general area–both in the safety and efficiency department.

We come to the First Calendar Readings, which is mainly the Throw Covfefe at the Wall and See What Sticks section, as far as Billy Shreve is concerned. Steve McKay said it best:

Council Member Billy Shreve is introducing a bunch of bills. I guess you can tell that it’s an election year. Billy Shreve – known to abstain on most votes – is all of the sudden introducing a handful of bills. Sorry folks, but after three years of his disagreeable nature, this doesn’t impress me a bit.

No one wants to speak, making us wonder if there are any redeeming qualities these bills may have if their authors cannot be bothered to enlighten us. Chemlik feels a bit of shame and takes up his own cause on the wood chipping bill. Isn’t local politics sexxxxxxy? Shreve is the definition of shameless.

Justin’s bringing sexy back Fredneck style.

And we are on a break!

 

It’s been awhile. Do you remember how to drinking game?

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Oh, Max is ready to play along. Can we get thinking cats for certain council members? They really need them.

 

It is sometimes difficult to tell by reading the agenda, but tonight’s meeting looks like it could be a real doozy. So take care of your liver. As always, this game is just for giggles. Actually participating in this to the fullest may result in death. You’ve been warned.

The meeting starts as always with public comments. We aren’t going to hold our breath on anyone actually showing up to speak. Just hold your beer, just in case.

A bunch of budget adjustments on first up on the agenda.  Billy will  complain about the library grant because everyone knows folks go to Borders instead, Kirby will kvetch about Citizens, blah, blah, blah. Mix yourself a kitchen sink.

Next up on the agenda, approval of minutes for 4 meetings. When Billy abstains mix yourself up a flaming asshole.

Now, it’s time to discuss a mutual aid agreement between the Fred Co Sheriff, Wash Co Sheriff and Hagerstown City Police. Where are the Fred City Police? Make yourself a missing in action while you ponder that.

Well, well well, it’s time to take a vote on the Maryland Association of Counties Legislative Committee County Council Representation. What? Didn’t Bud already executive decision this? Things could get snippy. Make yourself a T-bone in anticipation of Bud’s phone ringing with its Bad to the Bone ringtone.

What workshop items are in store for us? We don’t know what these are as they aren’t listed on the agenda. This might be a good time to hydrate with some good old water.

Time to look at a petition to close a portion of Old Frederick Road to improve the safety of Route 15. Pick your favorite drink and stick it in a cone when anyone complains about being inconvenienced by this proposal.

Lots of First Readings on the docket! Including those that Billy decided he better get going on before anyone brought up the fact that he did nothing but ABSTAIN during his entire tenure as a council member. Anyhoo, sip on your Lazy Daze while you endure this portion of the evening.

It’s time to vote on the dueling Forest Ordinance bills. With Bud’s voting patterns recently altered, we predict his version will be the one to make it through; Sip on your Forest Funk while you think of all the lost trees.

Before the break, they will vote to pull the Adequate Public Facilities bill, and then Billy will vote against going into closed session. If it isn’t too close to 7:00, we may get treated to Billy complaining about having to waste all his precious time at Winchester Hall.

MDX hearing is the last bit of business this evening. There’s a lot of opposition to this bill because it would theoretically allow a warehouse to go next to a school or a housing development. Mainly, it’s introduction has to do with the fact that the Jefferson Technology Park did not fill up the way the previous BOCC claimed it would. While you listen to the arguments mix up a pitcher of Nuclear Disaster, and think of all the bad things the Young BOCC have brought upon this fine county.

Public and council member comments can get a little dicey, however, you’ve been through enough for one evening.

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Don’t end up like Jonesy.

 

 

Take your pick. You may need more than one drinking game tonight.

Not too much wine
Well, they are too happy. But you may need that glass!

The State of the Union Address is taking place tonight. Your Yokels do not plan to watch. We may check in with Wonkette. They always have something clever to say.

If your nerves can take watching it tonight there are several good drinking games out there for you to play. As always, make responsible decisions. If everyone plays along, emergency rooms will be over capacity. It’s almost time for a full super moon eclipse so let’s go easy on our healthcare professionals.

This one looks great. I don’t even think you actually have to be a lawyer to participate. Bonus points because they included the term hobgoblin.

Rolling Stone also has a great game. It includes options for everyone, even if you aren’t watching.

We also found this one from the Chicago Tribune. It’s good too!

So we are only giving you three choices. If you don’t like any of them, make up your own.

We’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure you have enough aspirin.

 

Oh God!
We warned you Huckleberry. Mind your consumption

 

 

How are Shrelauter’s campaigns going? Not too good!

Howdy folks! It’s that time of the month where we check out just how well Shrelauter’s campaigns for County Executive and Maryland State Senate are going. With just 6 months to the primary, we are getting into crunch time. Last week, the FNP did a story regarding the first financial reports of local campaigns, and we couldn’t help but chuckle at this:

Annual campaign finance reports filed this week show Giangrande with a cash balance of just over $100,000 in his campaign account while Shreve’s stood at $3,220.

Shreve said he was not concerned and hadn’t really begun fundraising. He planned to start in April, he said, adding that his focus now was on governing.

“I don’t need a lot of money to win this race,” he said.

AND:

Delauter’s spokesman, Cameron Harris, said Delauter was pleased by the number of small donors contributing to his campaign compared with the other candidates.

Harris noted that Delauter was the only one who hadn’t accepted a donation over $1,000. Harris said the campaign pledged not to do so. However, the campaign had accepted more than $1,000 — in separate checks — from at least one donor.

Delauter’s campaign clocked $12,000 in loans, coming from the candidate and some of his business interests.

LOL!!!! Well, lets take a look at Kirby and Billy’s “official” campaign Facebook pages to see how they are handling themselves!

Let’s begin with Kirby:

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So much about this is deceptive. First of all, there are no separate county and property taxes. They are one and the same. Secondly, the county tax rate has NOT been “hiked”. The state has raised some property owner’s assessments, which means they will pay more based on that assessment. However, the county tax rate was not raised. And, have we learned nothing from the first George Bush? You can’t make promises like this! You can’t predict the future!If we were the plagiarizing kind, like some people, we would give this post three thousand Pinocchio noses!

Next up:

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Okay then! Never forget that these two go hand-in-hand! Why is sanctuary in quotes? What does Kirby think that sanctuary represents here?

And we thought at one point Kirby was FOR “sanctuary counties”

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A nice sentiment, but see below:

First of all, sorry Kirby, but there’s no way in hell you wrote a word of this. Secondly, this runs contrary to some other things that Kirby has posted:

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Points to remember, he’s going to roll-back tax hikes that NEVER happened. He’s going to build the cheap schools that will end up costing us more money in the long run. He’s against “sanctuary county”. (Again with the quotes!) And, he wants to take money away from the public school system to create a voucher program. All of this is valuable information folks!

Now, Billy’s page is oh so very sad. So, we’ll just let it speak for itself:

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18 likes! #SAD!

Some good discussion and then a WTH is going on around here? Your January 23rd workshop in review!

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Bud starts off the meeting reassuring us that he supports any actions the council can take to stop human trafficking, so he still has that going for him! County Executive candidate Kirby Delauter is absent…again. We have to say we were so impressed with the presentation this evening. Kudos must go out to Jessica Fitzwater for brining this to everyone’s attention. So many knowledgable, articulate folks came in front of the council to give us information about this sickening problem. You can read the entire report here or just look at our highlights:

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This is a heat map. What is shows are where the hotline calls regarding human trafficking are coming from. Notice that Frederick is in the red. That means there’s a lot of activity going on in our area.
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This nice lady works for the State Prosecutor’s Office. She made us aware of the fact that many agencies do not have good information to pass on to victims of human trafficking. Something that this task force wants to remedy.
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Oh, why oh why can’t our High Sheriff be more like Frederick Police Chief Hargis?(PSST, our High Sheriff was not in attendance this evening, probably because he was NOT in support of this task force, he believed that everything that could be done was already being done—VOTE KARL BICKEL!)

Frederick mayor Michael O’Connor told us some of the recommendations of the committee:

  1. Mandatory training for lodging employees to help identify human trafficking victims.
  2. Making sure all bodyworks establishments are properly licensed. (This is the only time Billy pipes up this evening-he wants to have a definition of bodyworks, we can only imagine what must have been going through that mind of his.)
  3. Penalties for landlords and tenants who knowingly allow human traffickers to operate.
  4. The creation of a survivor services fund created from the confiscated property of the human trafficker(s).
  5. Creation of signs that alert the public to what human trafficking looks like, both sex and labor trafficking. In other words: “If you see something, say something”!

Chief Hargis likened this problem to domestic violence 30 years ago. 30 years ago (and this is really hard to stomach folks), domestic violence wasn’t on anyone’s radar. It wasn’t seen as a law enforcement problem. That’s how the issue of human trafficking has been treated..as someone else’s problem. But it isn’t, its a human problem that all humans should be concerned about. Contrary to what the High Sheriff or Billy or Kirby would lead us to believe, this isn’t just a problem for the federal government to solve. If a victim is found in Frederick County, and there have been numerous cases here, it’s a Frederick County problem.  If you want more information about human trafficking visit the Polaris site.  And after you read that, don’t ever, ever forget that Billy Shreve said that there are groups in favor of this.  We don’t need a voice like that representing us in Annapolis.

Late in the day, the council agenda was changed to reflect this addition:

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There was no clickable link, so we didn’t have any other information to go on. When it came time to vote we get this breakdown:

Yay-Jessica, M.C., Bud, Tony, Jerry

Abstain-Billy

Partying it up in Punta Cana-Kirby

Now, we have no idea what in the world is going on with this! Anyone who can enlighten us please send us a line!

Workshop on Human Trafficking AKA Billy gives reasons to tell us why people are for it!

This afternoon the council will convene to discuss the final report from the Frederick County Human Trafficking Task Force. Billy has told us that there are groups for human trafficking, and we’ll just let Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo handle this one for us this time:

We’ll let you know how the discussion goes.

Afzali inspires us to marvel, “Who is going to win this primary?”

We almost forgot about this dingbat, who is seemingly threatening would be donors to her county executive campaign. “I am a witch. Give me money, or I will torment you with evil conjurings!”

Kathy Afzali wants help
She really does need help.

What is with this clown show we are treated to by a too large number of local Republicans, anyway?

Bud Otis, for the love of Pete. Why, oh why, have you seemingly realigned with team dingleberry and the darlings of developers?

Aside Afzali we have a county executive candidate who hates free publicity–Kirby “don’t talk about me in the paper” Delauter, crafter of flowcharts, follower of none.

His sidekick DeploraBilly Shreve, who is consistently and appallingly incompetent on a vast range of subjects, and is running for Maryland Senate.

Plus, we will forever have Billy and Kirby’s fascinating friend who shall not be named (who we are worried/thrilled to consider, based upon rubbernecking over his not subtle enough Facebook musings, that he may be considering a don’t-call-it a-comeback return to public life with the launch of a sexxxpert advise [sic] podcast in honor of Human Trafficking Workshop Week next week). Gross. #partyoffamilyvalues

Added bonus. Also running for CE, we have Regina “The Bullshit Stops Here” Williams. We would tell you more, but her website reveals no official positions on anything. Gracious. Afzali has issues. Kirby has issues. We know you have issues, too. You sued the county.

It’s rather sad to note that Afzali seems like the most serious contender here, having at least had the forethought to think about the issues, and she really is a hot mess. Remember the time she had a spat with the sheriff, and was texting him that he was a wimp and a phony?

Go ahead, madam. Align yourself with the wicked witch. It’s a perfect accompaniment to your Pay No Attention to that Man Behind the Curtain president. This clownshow is a plague.

 

You’re sure no Ephelba. We’ll be over here defying gravity, thankyouverymuch.

 

Facts Matter!!! All the time!

In a now deleted post on his public official Facebook page, Bud gave his reasoning as to why he removed M.C. from the MACO board. Thank goodness we have friends that have the foresight to use their screenshot option:

 

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Note: There was no Council vote taken in 2015, 2016, 2017!

 

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And it is!!!

Well, look at what Danielle Gaines found out in today’s Political Notes:

Keegan-Ayer’s appointment, along with others, was put to a council vote on Jan. 6, 2015, minutes show. The appointments were unanimously approved, with Councilman Billy Shreve (R) abstaining.

Who is telling Bud that he can override the legislative process and make monarchial appointments?

Xenu update!!!!

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Not so fast, Xenu!

In today’s FNP, we are treated to a Trout Run/Scientology/Xenu update! Twelve times the judge has granted the Scientologists an extension. TWELVE! How long is this to go on for? Well, their attorney had this to say when asked that very question:

Frederick attorney Bruce Dean, one of the lawyers representing SBPI, declined to comment on why the company has prolonged the filing deadline.

“I can’t divulge our strategy and what’s going on,” Dean said. “There are things going on, but I can’t really talk about it.”

Oh, masters of psychology let’s see if we can guess the reason. Could it be that they are waiting out the election to see if they can get a council that is “friendlier” to their interests? I think we should all be checking the campaign contributions of everyone running for county council and county executive this year. For, if they have accepted money from Social Betterment Properties, we know where their loyalties lie.

We thought the meeting was canceled!

 

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As you probably already knew, the county council meeting was canceled this evening. At least we thought it was, but apparently there was one agenda item that Bud decided to go ahead and take care of on his own! You may remember from our drinking game earlier today that we called attention to this item that was to be discussed this evening:

 

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We not so wildly speculated that M.C. would be replaced as the representative on that board with Tony! Well, look what came upon the Yokel news desk this evening:

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We don’t know Slick!

So, is this where we are now? Agenda items that were supposed to be discussed in front of the public, with a council discussion and vote, can now be written into existence! By one person! What kind of government is this, we ask you?!