Xenu update!!!!

Not so fast, Xenu!

In today’s FNP, we are treated to a Trout Run/Scientology/Xenu update! Twelve times the judge has granted the Scientologists an extension. TWELVE! How long is this to go on for? Well, their attorney had this to say when asked that very question:

Frederick attorney Bruce Dean, one of the lawyers representing SBPI, declined to comment on why the company has prolonged the filing deadline.

“I can’t divulge our strategy and what’s going on,” Dean said. “There are things going on, but I can’t really talk about it.”

Oh, masters of psychology let’s see if we can guess the reason. Could it be that they are waiting out the election to see if they can get a council that is “friendlier” to their interests? I think we should all be checking the campaign contributions of everyone running for county council and county executive this year. For, if they have accepted money from Social Betterment Properties, we know where their loyalties lie.

It’s time for another Xenu update.


We like to stalk the Maryland Case Search page to see what Social Betterment AKA The lost minions of L.Ron Hubbard are up to. Seems as though a court date has been set for next month:

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And another motion has been filed as of the 17th:

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Doesn’t seem like this is going to end any time soon. We’ll keep you posted.

New fun time: Council meeting bingo

We thought we’d mix it up a little this week. Here’s your agenda. In case you do feel compelled to drink at any point, we’ll recommend you toss back an Alien Secretion and encourage Xenu to scamper on outta here.


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Click on image to open in a separate tab for printing!


Xenu part deux: Narconon clusternut at Trout Run

What the heck is even going on? A judge has remanded another frustrating thing back to the Frederick County Council, saying that they did not explain the reason for their vote that kept Trout Run from receiving a historic designation. (Umm…they said it wasn’t a special piece of local history?) Nobody apparently told Judge William R. Nicklas, Jr. about the shall versus may voodoo. Maybe the people who have since trotted that line out with regard to other issues should use the argument more conservatively.

If only it were this easy to erase, start over, forget these cretins.

What all this means is…Well, we don’t know for sure.

The Underground Bunker has expressed the matter concisely.

Judge William R. Nicklas Jr held a hearing earlier this month, and then this week came out with a ruling that seems to have confused nearly everyone. Researcher Mary McConnell declared that it was good for the county council, the local NBC station announced that it was a clear win for Scientology, and even more expert local observers don’t really explain whether this is good for one side or the other.

But maybe we will get Billy Shreve on Kojo Nnamdi’s show again, feverishly defending the need to have these exploitative, abusive whackadoodles run a campground for drug addicts to spend all day reading Dianetics and dehydrating in a sauna up in the northern reaches of Frederick County. What in the great and bizarre-o Milky Way Galaxy is driving his advocacy of this deadly nonsense?

Where is everyone?! Your July 7th council meeting roundup.

Many times tonight we felt as though we were trapped inside an episode of “The Leftovers”. For the first twenty minutes of the meeting all we saw was this:


Now how are we supposed to know whether or not to drink our Purple Jesus? Or how many shots of Jackass to shoot back?! Oh well, such is life in the technical age. We do finally get to join in the fun at the end of County Executive appointees. Billy is still suffering from his oppositional defiance disorder, that or some kind of speech impediment that prevents him from saying the word aye. We really hope that he addresses this problem sooner rather than later.

Plumbing Code amendment passed 7-0. Amendment to Moderately Priced Dwelling Units-passed 6-1. Can you guess who voted in the negative? It’s not even fun to play this guessing game anymore.

Off to the public hearings we go. It’s all about the sale of 115 and 117 Church Street to Ausherman for $1.45 million. It’s a chance to sell a property that’s just been sitting there for quite a while. Kirby decides to say a few words. He’s for the sale, of course, but is upset that 118 Church Street isn’t up for sale as well. Not that this really has anything to do with the conversation at hand, but hey, anytime is a good time to talk about something bad that Jan is doing. But still he votes for it. So do five others. Therefore Kirby + 5= What the hell Billy? He did not comment, did not ask any questions but is still going to abstain!

Yes Billy they do!

This is money coming into the county not going out! Why is he still abstaining? What is the meaning of all this? And why do we ask, we all know there is no answer.

The next public hearing about amendments to water and sewage goes off without a hitch. Then it’s Public Comment time and where is everyone?! Not one person spoke tonight! Carl? Stan? Patrick? See what we mean about being trapped in an episode of “The Leftovers?” But since you guys weren’t there, Tony’s having a Town Hall Meeting at Urbana Library July 16th from 6-8 p.m. Be there or be square.

Billy has to go out on a sour note. There has to be a vote on whether or not to go into closed session to talk about a recent court filing (Trout Run we suspect) and to interview a County Executive appointee. Billy is the only one to say no. We won’t even ask why this time.

Have you seen Gumption the Dragon?

It’s hard to find the words to attack a costumed children’s character. Not really. We’ve been doing that since the first viewing of Barney, obviously. We thought Xenu and the Thetans and and e-meters were weird, but a local resident who penned this LTE in defense of Narconon has a special angle to delight and/or terrify our children, who really sometimes like to meet people in goofy costumes even less than grownups do. And that is Gumption the Dragon. Check out No Narconon at Trout Run’s links and information, including Gumption’s movie. Gumption has (allegedly) made several public appearances in Frederick and Washington Counties. Imagine the unfortunate soul hiking the Appalachian Trail alone for weeks when he stumbled across Gumption the Dragon interrupting his solitude.


The end of the video has a text slide announcing: Gumption the Dragon Shares Secrets of Power. It was mostly a cheesy, low-rent, kid’s birthday party kind of thing, until the end when it went full kool-aid.


Yesterday’s County Council meeting was quite the affair. The main event centered on the Scientologists wanting to open a 12-Step Spa/Internment Camp for the Thetans of Brainwashed Drug Addicts at Trout Run, near Camp David. The closing comments were especially festive.

First, Kirby Delauter read a letter from a constituent with some union-bashing type rhetoric to ensure that it was entered into the public record, saying he neither endorsed nor refuted it. In summary, let it be known that we don’t like it (not one little bit) when teachers try to negotiate salaries all together, and they expect everyone who benefits from those negotiations to contribute. Also, unions are terrible horrible no good very bad liberal things. Teachers should not be required to taint themselves with the vermin who would presume they were helping them, even if they *are* asking for them to all be paid a salary that may one day approach being competitive in this region.

Then, Billy Shreve had something to say, so listen up y’all: The honeymoon. It is over. It was such a raucous party, that reception…things so out of control that Shreve ended up locked out of his office, his key lost. And this whole time the Council had been celebrating what we erroneously believed to be a terribly awkward arranged marriage, somehow cobbled together by the Montagues and Capulets of Frederick County. The reason Billy “I Don’t Read” Shreve is no longer full of sweetness and light is that they have (again) put off voting on whether or not the Trout Run property will receive the historic designation needed to allow its eligibility to become a “group home” for Narconon. Jessica Fitzwater and Jerry Donald, took a pro-reading position in their defense. They preferred not to simply take the word of the applicant’s presentation, but to wait until they might also read what Jerry Donald called a “gigantic packet of stuff” that had been presented to them just prior to the meeting.

The council then backtracked a tad to allow public comments from John Somebody (I listened over and over, but couldn’t quite catch his name), President of Career Firefighters, as I understood it. Which sounds all Union-y and evil. Lo and behold! Every last council member managed to somehow listen to him respectfully without tantrums or name calling–even as he asked for things that cost taxpayer money! That’s what we call accomplishing something in Frederick County.

Exit stage left.