It’s the final countdown!!!! All the fun of the 2018 primary election!

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In just four short days Frederick County residents can begin voting in this year’s primary election. We know, like us, many of y’all are busy ending the school year, but this stuff is important. Especially since we recently heard someone utter these words: Who is Cindy Rose? Sigh. We sometimes get lost in our own little world where we think everyone pays as much attention to these issues as we do!

In today’s edition of the FNP there is a Frederick County Voter Information Guide. This guide was put together with the esteemed League of Women Voters of Frederick County (LWV). You can view this guide in one of three ways:  a.) get the print edition of the FNP  b.) buy a subscription so you can view the online e-pages or c.) go to the LWV’s page. Let’s take a diversion and remind y’all the importance of having a local paper. No matter how you feel about the FNP (REMINDER: THE EDITORIAL PAGE IS SUPPOSED TO REFLECT SOMEONE’S OPINION!), it’s very important that we keep this paper. Where are we going to get all of our local information from if it disappears? (As much as we love  those of you who shouted out Local Yokel, we are not journalists!) The WaPo and Baltimore Sun do not care about Shrelauter! So, if you don’t have a subscription, please consider getting one.

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We sympathize. However, not paying attention is no longer an option!

There is a section on FNP’s website that has a different questionnaire than what is in the paper or you can go to the LWV’s 411 site ( this is also an excellent organization to join!) which does have what is in the paper, however, it’s not as fun as having it all laid out before you in one section.  Here’s a taste to encourage you to get a subscription:

-There’s a whole list of people who couldn’t bother to get their answers in on time:

-Danny Farrar

-Galen Clagett

-Tony Chmelik

-Craig Giangrande

-Michael Bowersox

-James Dvorak

-Barrie S. Ciliberti

-William Folden

-Seth Eisenberg

-Chaz Packan

-Kirby has a very interesting solution to the opioid crisis:

 A lot of our issues are that we have such a high tax system in the county that two parents have to work in order to make ends meet. This leave kids vulnerable after school and during summer months to not have the parental guidance during those hours when both parents are working. The Executive creates the budget so if we can make the county more affordable, one parent can stay home.

So taxes and women not staying home are the reason for the crisis!!! We all know that the “parent” he wants to stay home is mom, because of his past behavior on this issue. 

-Cindy tries to act reasonable, and even quotes MLK in her answer! She also points out the difference between the progressives and conservatives:

It’s not non-partisan. Since education is overly politicized at this time, it’s important to know the politics of any Board of Education candidate. Progressive Democrats seem overly concerned with social learning and pouring more money into education without knowing if it will help. Conservative Republicans seem concerned over academic content and want an itemization of every penny.

 

-And for a good chuckle, read this quote concerning his record on education from ole Billy:

I have proven Education is a priority. I put Wi-Fi in every school & started adding computers to the classrooms. I funded the extra bathrooms at Urbana Elementary School. Led the site selection committee for the new Sugarloaf Elementary School & had the site donated & Funded. North Frederick ES was built, Frederick HS built, plus Butterfly Ridge Funded & started. Added extra security to schools

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Can you believe this guy!!??

Seriously folks, you need to talk to your neighbors, friends, co-workers, or some guy walking down the street. While a voter’s guide is a good resource, it doesn’t go into past behavior. And the past behavior of people like Kirby, Billy, and Cindy are very important when considering what they may do to our fine county in the future. You know what they say:

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Epic meeting of February 6th: round 1

The yokels all missed the very beginning, only to tune in as Melanie Cox of the League of Women Voters was saying, “…give us a chance to speak.” The immediate assumption is that this is about the botched process for changing Frederick County’s representation to the Maryland Association of Counties (MACO). If we’re wrong about that, let us know and we will edit. We keep threatening to write a meeting up without watching it and see if we can guess what happens, because we know our characters purty stinkin well at this point. For example, Melanie Cox is a classy lady for whom dignity and propriety is important, so under the circumstances, it makes sense to leap to the conclusion that she would have liked to see a transparent process for the thing that…spoiler alert…comes to fruition later on.

Regular examples of totally predictable events: Budget adjustments. Everyone votes for those, except Billy the Abstinent. Then everyone votes to approve the minutes, except Billy the Obstinate. And you also already know that he couldn’t bother to speak into his microphone.

We have a presentation on a Mutual Aid Agreement with the Washington County Sheriff’s Department and the Hagerstown P.D. A member of the Sheriff’s department comes in our Sheriff’s stead, because… hold on to your little ACLU fold-up Constitutions…because Jenkins is out of pocket. Why? Because he is meeting with The President about immigration. Another of the Yokels had a boss who used meeting with the president as her euphemism for going to do her powder room business, which makes us snicker.

Mr. Yokel observes from the other couch, “The President of What???” We will not go into our skepticism of Jenkins’ qualifications on this subject, from the vantage point of living on the Mason-Dixon border. Riding Arpaio’s coattails onto Fox is all the qualifications the Dunning-Kruger Administration requires. Mr. Yokel still believes this tale is sound and fury signifying nothing, and since Newt Gingrich declared that facts are no longer a thing (and heck if he isn’t painfully right), we will all believe in whatever manner our emotional states’ require. The decision is in favor of a cooperative approach to providing for the common defence.

We move on to stripping M.C. Keegan-Ayer of her appointment to MACO so that Tony Chmelik can have it. M.C. is classy and abstains from voting on a matter that pertains to herself. Guess who doesn’t?! Both of them speak in favor of improving the process by which this is done. Great idea…

There’s a presentation about closing the intersection of Old Frederick Rd. at 15, for the sake of safety and traffic efficiency. Much more of this is needed in that general area–both in the safety and efficiency department.

We come to the First Calendar Readings, which is mainly the Throw Covfefe at the Wall and See What Sticks section, as far as Billy Shreve is concerned. Steve McKay said it best:

Council Member Billy Shreve is introducing a bunch of bills. I guess you can tell that it’s an election year. Billy Shreve – known to abstain on most votes – is all of the sudden introducing a handful of bills. Sorry folks, but after three years of his disagreeable nature, this doesn’t impress me a bit.

No one wants to speak, making us wonder if there are any redeeming qualities these bills may have if their authors cannot be bothered to enlighten us. Chemlik feels a bit of shame and takes up his own cause on the wood chipping bill. Isn’t local politics sexxxxxxy? Shreve is the definition of shameless.

Justin’s bringing sexy back Fredneck style.

And we are on a break!

 

Who is in need of a history lesson today?

After reading the title we are sure you have at least two possibilities in mind! Billy got a lot of attention last week and apparently #kirbydelauter is jealous. So, in an effort to make sure both halves of Shrelauter get enough attention we bring you this:

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Now, is he  being ironic or has there been a change of heart? Because if he read the entire paragraph he would have noticed that 50 years ago (you know the good ol’ days) our local officials were in favor of funding teacher salaries and backed plans for home rule!! Two issues that Kirby has been  on the other side of! So when will we fix it ole #? When you and your little comrade and others like you stop being so terrible!! That’s when!

We wish that was all we had to share, but it isn’t. In the comments our most honorable District 5 representative was NOT done:

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Grrr. This makes your Lady Yokels want to break all the things!

 

Not quite Kirby...no quite.
Not quite Kirby…not quite.

So readers, any guesses why we don’t have a League of Male Voters? Maybe, just maybe, it has something do with the fact that every single white male has had the right to vote since 1856. That’s right people, in 1856 North Carolina was the last State to remove property qualifications  as a prerequisite to vote. Therefore, since before the Civil War there have not been any barriers for a white male to vote in this country.  NONE.  Women and minorities, however,  were imprisoned, killed, threatened and intimidated in an attempt to keep them from the ballot box well into the 20th century. In case this is new to you Councilman Delauter , you can listen to this song that will give you a nice little introduction to what women went through in order to secure our right to be a citizen of this great country.

Watch it!
Watch it!

So when we see someone joking about there needing to be a League of Male Voters it makes us a little cray cray. The League of Women Voters was established to get women the vote and then continued on as an organization to help women advocate for policy issues. They are non partisan, and if you have ever seen their members at our local council members you know how articulate these ladies are. Stating that there needs to be a League of Male Voters is akin to  advocating for a White Men’s History Month. Every month, until we gals and minority groups decided not to stand for it anymore, was White Men’s History Month! And you would be hard pressed to convince anyone that white men’s contributions don’t figure largely in today’s history curriculum.

Tired of saying this…Kirby stop being awful on Facebook. And everywhere else for that matter! We sure hope he isn’t on the side of some Trump voters who want to repeal the 19th amendment.

PSA- Don’t forget early voting started yesterday. If you aren’t registered to vote you can still register during the early voting period. Make sure you get out and act like the good American citizen we know  you are!

Frederick County Board of Elections Wants You!

Hello there, yokels!

We are looking at the following smorgasbord of candidates:

  • The 3 Stooges
  • two mild-mannered, possibly human people who have varying degrees of success at keeping their wacky stuff tucked in
  • a–gasp! is America ready for the most (mostly unfairly) vilified woman in America?
  • and a Democratic Socialist!!! (hey, that may not be as “Un-American” as you think; check it out whydontcha?)

Having all these nuts and a bag of chips running for president means that voter turnout is expected to be high during this election cycle. And, it better be, people. Do not drop the ball on your civic duty. 

Looks about right.
Looks about right.

The Frederick County Board of Elections is looking for election judges. This is a paid position and offers you the opportunity to help democracy in action. See how the process really works behind the scenes. No one at the yokel is affiliated with the Board of Elections, but we caught wind that they still would like to find about 100 people who can work for early voting in the primaries. You can find them on Facebook as well, and they have cool stuff going on. Like you can check out the new voting machines in a video.

Frederick County Wants You!

Oh, and guess what. The League of Women Voters has a nifty thingamobobber online where you go stick in your address and it tells you all about the candidates just especially for you. Great for the ones the news never even talks about (and seriously, your local elections are waaaay more important usually…maybe not this time, though, since nouveau Mussolini is running, and that is not good for America). The ladies’ league does not offer opinion, just what the candidates have provided about their positions. Totally check out Trump (er, um, Drumpf) , just for farts and grins.