frederick local yokel

It seems like a great time to be callous about separating kids from their parents!

June 20, 2018 fclocalyokel1 Comment

It’s hard to believe that people are anything but outraged by children being taken from their parents. We here at the Yokel have been sick over it. We all have little ones and cannot imagine what these people are going through. If you are thinking, “Well, it’s their parents fault,” or “Obama did it too,” go away now! We are done with the likes of you!

Even though Trump has finally signed an Executive Order to overturn his very own policy, which he insisted he wasn’t able to do because it was a Democratic law, the question remains as to when the already separated children will be reunited with their parents. That’s the only thing anyone with a heart should be worried about.

However….we live in a crazy world. And we have some people running for office who have some interesting interpretations of what we should be worried about instead of the obvious.

Something is disgusting all right! If she would have taken half a second to fact check this picture she would have found out it was taken at a protest about children being held in cages, not someone staging a picture of kids being held in cages.

Screen Shot 2018-06-20 at 7.36.15 PM

Because there are plenty of real pictures of that. But, that’s not what this BOE candidate wants us to focus on is it? By posting this she’s insinuating that this whole story isn’t true. Snopes is your friend, Cindy. If you can’t bother to check the validity of a simple picture how can we possibly trust you to make fact-based decisions concerning our children’s education?

On that note, go ahead and jump over to her Local Control Facebook page, because there are some real heroes interacting with her and Seth!

How does Kirby feel about all this hullabaloo? Take a look:

Screen Shot 2018-06-20 at 7.21.25 PM

Hey folks! Why are we spending so much time focusing on the deep psychological scars that these separated kids will endure when we can engage in some deceiving whataboutism?

shining-object — Don’t fall for it Mittens!

There are no sanctuary policies letting criminals out of jail. That is just a lie. Just like all the lies his Dear Leader tells. We just love how both he and Jenkins love to use MS-13 and illegal immigrants in the same breath in order to associate them together as one. Ain’t that clever? Go ahead and read up on MS-13, yes they are bad, but you may learn a thing or two. Like they are an American born gang, their victims are most likely to be other gang members, and illegal immigrants actually commit less crimes than native born people. We’ll stick to talking about Trump’s immigration policies thank you very much.

#localelectionsmatter!

ican-lie-faster-than-you-can-fact-check-yes-he-can-7047520.png

Give me a break.

June 20, 2018June 21, 2018 fclocalyokel2 Comments

somedays-you-feel-like-youre-surrounded-by-idiots-other-days-you-realize-its-not-just-somedays-W9ntT — But not you guys.

We saw a Facebook post today from the Southern Frederick County Rotary that made us wonder if these folks even know anything about Billy Shreve. Seriously. They may want to come up with a new four way test.

We noticed previously that Billy has taken credit for solving the opiod crisis and claiming he created the best education program in the state.

Other priorities in the General Assembly would be continued support for programs to stem heroin and opioid abuse. He pointed to the Classmates4Life video contest that he started, which called on Frederick County Public Schools students to explore the negative effects of drug abuse. The video contest received state and national recognition.

“I’ve created the best education program in the history of the state, so I want to continue to work on that,” Shreve said. “… I want to go to Annapolis and do everything I can to stop our kids from dying because of overdoses.

There surely is no harm in a video contest, but it has done nothing to reduce opiod overdoses in Frederick County. But don’t take our word for it. Check out the data. Overdoses are up and climbing in our county.

It is always nice to cherry pick a few small actions and give someone a pat on the back. We are here to remind you Billy has many, many, many low lights. Read all this if you need a refresher.

#neversenatorshreve

Let’s compare and contrast council member comments! Your Juneteenth council meeting report!

June 19, 2018June 19, 2018 fclocalyokel3 Comments

This has been a depressing week so far, hasn’t it? We still have not recovered from the audio released from where they are keeping the children along the border. Don’t think we ever will. So, our patience with the likes of Billy is pretty darn thin when he retweets trash like this:

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 7.52.07 PM.png — We can’t say enough “nice” things about these people!

We thought the meeting may be a nice distraction from the national horror show that our country has now become, and maybe if not for Billy, it would have been. Let’s take it from the top.

We missed a few parts here and there, but were able to get to most of it.

First of all, Kirby decided it made great political sense to miss the last meeting before the election! An alert reader led us to believe that he was planning his victory party and then shared this screenshot with us:

35883427_1694360730611872_2833052259137355776_n

sometimes-i-laugh-so-hard-the-tears-run-down-my-32137334.png — You kill us Kirby!

Billy votes against the agenda and abstains on the budget adjustments. Worthless!

There are six installment purchase agreements and all pass 6-0.

Planning commission appointments and all county executive appointments are approved with NO DRAMA.

We are given a very confusing audit/not audit on the agreement between the Sheriff’s department and ICE. Not the 287g agreement that everyone was talking about last week, but the Intergovernmental Service Agreement. Just how many agreements do we have with ICE anyway? The nice lady presenting basically said that it was cost-effective for the county, but that her numbers weren’t 100% solid. It seems as though the Feds give the Sheriff’s office somewhere around $80 and the Sheriff’s department spends somewhere around $50 on each inmate. So, that begs the question from both Jessica and Jerry if the feds can come back asking for the money they collected and didn’t spend. A later public commenter speculates as to whether this money is being used to militarize the police department. And we couldn’t help but wonder that ourselves. We’ve all seen ~~the tank~~, correction: the armored vehicle displayed around town. You haven’t? Well, click on over here.

The school construction fee first reading was taken off the agenda this evening and we had to bow out of the others. We also walked in late to the discussion of the proposed charter amendments. There was some lively characters giving comment, but none of this lasted very long.

Not it’s time for the compare and contrast portion of the evening!

Tony starts off the comments very concerned. Tells us that people don’t have the right to come up here and politic. But, they do have the right to tell us their titles! Because he wants to know what y’all are up to! He says that Jan said on the radio that they were editing the titles and all the naughty words out of the 287g meeting! Now, naughty words be gone, but Tony will not stand for the erasure of the titles! That’s censorship! And all of this seems as though it should have been handled through email. Ray Barnes says he will look into.

Jerry starts off his comments by making us aware of the free summer meals for students who need them. Also, puts out a call for election judges and reminds us to support our local fire departments by attending the local carnivals. He then gives us all a nice history lesson about Juneteenth and the 13th-15th amendments to the Constitution. We all appreciate this very much since it seems as though nobody remembers anything these days. He ends this nice little talk with: “The right to vote is a continuous fight.”

Guess who is going to ruin it?

Billy. Of Course. The first thing out of Billy’s mouth after Jerry mentions the struggles African Americans have had to overcome is this: “I think if you vote you should have to show a photo i.d. That’s what I am going to fight for!”

If he is even capable of feeling any shame!

He then proceeds to pat himself on the back for solving the opioid crisis through his Classmates 4 Life film contest. As though anyone is buying that load of crap!

Jessica and M.C. and Bud also have nice things to say about events they attended and all the nice things that are happening in our community this week. And this is why this section is entitled “Compare and Contrast.” Tony has complaints about unconstitutional video editing, Billy wants to suppress the vote and congratulate himself, meanwhile the other four want to talk about what is going on in our community. See the difference? We sure do.

Remember to vote folks. #localelectionsmatter, a whole freaking lot.

Ummm, can someone let the council know that things slow down in the summer? Your June 19th council drinking game!

June 19, 2018 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

Seriously folks, we are used to things slowing down a bit in the summertime! Someone didn’t pass that memo along to the council! Just look at this agenda!!! How are we supposed to keep tabs on all the election news AND all the terribleness of the national news AND the council agenda? We will give it the old college (ELITE!) try for y’all! Remember this is just for chuckles and to keep you informed, we’ve even included some non-alcoholic drinks so you can keep your wits about you! We need you to vote, not to end up in the ditch like Edgar Allen Poe.

Let’s remind everyone that it is summertime by mixing up a bunch of summer themed cocktails!

We should savor the fact that Billy will either vote against or abstain from voting against the agenda, budget adjustments and minutes since he’s not going to be on the dais much longer. However, our patience has run thin so we’ll skip right over this part.

There are six separate installment purchase agreements to talk about and vote on. They are listed in the agenda for you to peruse. We are going to go out on a limb and guess that the property owners are on board with this or it wouldn’t be called an agreement! However, if property rights are screamed from the corners, make yourself a nice tall White Grape Spritzer to brighten up your mood!

Buckle down for a whole slew of county executive appointments! If any axes are ground, slap back a pitcher of Peach-Ginger Ice Tea!

Next up is the government review of the agreement between ICE and the Frederick County Sheriff’s Office. If you didn’t read the article of this meeting last week, it is a must-see. We here at the Yokel are not fans of the High Sheriff and his participation in this program. We don’t expect anything to change anytime soon, so just go ahead and make a vat of Watermelon-Coconut coolers to see you through it.

There are three first reading items. Two have to do with the accessory dwelling units and the last one has to due with school construction fees. First readings are for information only, so we’ll be watching out for these items in the future!

Next up is a vote on the Sustainability commission. When “someone” talks about all the ridiculous environmental protections go ahead and sip on your Berry-Guava lemonade.

The evening continues with two public hearings. One regards sewage amendments (yawn!) and then on to the council amendments that could reach our ballot come November. Remember the collect bargaining amendment is something our firefighters want, not some socialist attempt to take over the universe.

Remember to vote! #localelectionsmatter!

It’s workshop time!!!!

June 12, 2018June 12, 2018 fclocalyokel2 Comments

There’s only two items on the agenda to discuss this evening: Screen Shot 2018-06-11 at 11.08.16 AM

We really hope there isn’t any nonsense about Bikeways and Accessory Dwelling Units. After all, we remember Kirby and Billy saying the tiny houses were a good idea just last year! However, it is an election year so we will have to wait and see how these two will react to a proposal “from the 3rd floor”.

nebo0

It’s the final countdown!!!! All the fun of the 2018 primary election!

June 10, 2018June 10, 2018 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

2byqmn

In just four short days Frederick County residents can begin voting in this year’s primary election. We know, like us, many of y’all are busy ending the school year, but this stuff is important. Especially since we recently heard someone utter these words: Who is Cindy Rose? Sigh. We sometimes get lost in our own little world where we think everyone pays as much attention to these issues as we do!

In today’s edition of the FNP there is a Frederick County Voter Information Guide. This guide was put together with the esteemed League of Women Voters of Frederick County (LWV). You can view this guide in one of three ways: a.) get the print edition of the FNP b.) buy a subscription so you can view the online e-pages or c.) go to the LWV’s page. Let’s take a diversion and remind y’all the importance of having a local paper. No matter how you feel about the FNP (REMINDER: THE EDITORIAL PAGE IS SUPPOSED TO REFLECT SOMEONE’S OPINION!), it’s very important that we keep this paper. Where are we going to get all of our local information from if it disappears? (As much as we love those of you who shouted out Local Yokel, we are not journalists!) The WaPo and Baltimore Sun do not care about Shrelauter! So, if you don’t have a subscription, please consider getting one.

2byqpv — We sympathize. However, not paying attention is no longer an option!

There is a section on FNP’s website that has a different questionnaire than what is in the paper or you can go to the LWV’s 411 site ( this is also an excellent organization to join!) which does have what is in the paper, however, it’s not as fun as having it all laid out before you in one section. Here’s a taste to encourage you to get a subscription:

-There’s a whole list of people who couldn’t bother to get their answers in on time:

-Danny Farrar

-Galen Clagett

-Tony Chmelik

-Craig Giangrande

-Michael Bowersox

-James Dvorak

-Barrie S. Ciliberti

-William Folden

-Seth Eisenberg

-Chaz Packan

-Kirby has a very interesting solution to the opioid crisis:

A lot of our issues are that we have such a high tax system in the county that two parents have to work in order to make ends meet. This leave kids vulnerable after school and during summer months to not have the parental guidance during those hours when both parents are working. The Executive creates the budget so if we can make the county more affordable, one parent can stay home.

So taxes and women not staying home are the reason for the crisis!!! We all know that the “parent” he wants to stay home is mom, because of his past behavior on this issue.

-Cindy tries to act reasonable, and even quotes MLK in her answer! She also points out the difference between the progressives and conservatives:

It’s not non-partisan. Since education is overly politicized at this time, it’s important to know the politics of any Board of Education candidate. Progressive Democrats seem overly concerned with social learning and pouring more money into education without knowing if it will help. Conservative Republicans seem concerned over academic content and want an itemization of every penny.

-And for a good chuckle, read this quote concerning his record on education from ole Billy:

I have proven Education is a priority. I put Wi-Fi in every school & started adding computers to the classrooms. I funded the extra bathrooms at Urbana Elementary School. Led the site selection committee for the new Sugarloaf Elementary School & had the site donated & Funded. North Frederick ES was built, Frederick HS built, plus Butterfly Ridge Funded & started. Added extra security to schools

Seriously folks, you need to talk to your neighbors, friends, co-workers, or some guy walking down the street. While a voter’s guide is a good resource, it doesn’t go into past behavior. And the past behavior of people like Kirby, Billy, and Cindy are very important when considering what they may do to our fine county in the future. You know what they say:

past-behavior-is-the-most-reliable-predictor-of-future-behavior-quote-1.jpg

9 more days until voting starts! What’s been going on around here anyway?

June 5, 2018June 5, 2018 fclocalyokel2 Comments

Sorry, Tiger, hopefully everyone who can vote will!

We’ve been talking about how to go about showing our gentle readers all that’s been going on around here lately. Honestly, it’s next to impossible. Therefore, in preparation for the primary election we are going to show you as much as we can about what we’ve found in recent days. Let’s start with Kirby and this “Guess Who?” meme:

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.11.16 PM

Ah, first of all the only candidate who has received any benefits is the only one that has been elected to the office. So, how can it possibly be all of them? That makes zero sense. Let’s delve a little deeper into this though. Do we really expect people who work full-time in a political office not to be compensated for their work? Or, perhaps Kirby is one of those elitists we keep hearing about that believes that only those who are independently wealthy should hold political office. Guess who else has worked close to 8 years as a politician? That’s right Kirby. And he wants 4 more!

We can’t point out Kirby without taking a look at the other half of the Shrelauter equation: Billy! There honestly isn’t much to say. He hasn’t put out any signs. He did answer the FNP’s questions in which he claimed to have solved the opioid epidemic. But, besides that we’ll let the likes on his Billy for Senator Facebook page speak for themselves:

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.14.31 PM — #SAD

Now on to the BOE race. Seth Eisenberg has been a constant source of amusement for us these past few months. From his freaking out over every bad piece of press he gets, his car-side chats, and his claim to be running because of his son even though his son does not attend an FCPS school, there are days that we don’t even know where to begin with this guy. Here’s a good view into his candidacy. This is his answer to a testing question put forth by the FNP:

34274788_2065313470163729_4645801360271343616_n — What is with him and Kirby and the double negatives? Well, we give this guy a triple negative endorsement! How do you like them apples?

And you know we have to mention Cindy…again. Even though we’ve done it a million times over, we need to make sure that everyone knows what a terrible choice she would be for our BOE. If this lady had just stuck to over-testing, we may have had some common ground. But alas! We’ll leave you some of our favorite, more recent, posts we’ve seen her make:

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.18.52 PM — The Wonkette, one of our favorite blogs, did a couple of great pieces about him a few weeks back. If you missed the New York Times article about this fella, take a gander. He believes not only in the patriarchy, but that women should be in enforced monogamy with men! Why, you ask? Well, if not men will become violent, like all those disgusting incels you’ve been hearing about lately. And who is to blame? The man? No, no, no! According to Jordan Peterson women are!

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.17.31 PM

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 1.15.38 PM — Sanctity? When is she going to leave the transgender population alone?

And, let’s not forget the other two that have hitched their wagons to the aforementioned:

33817070_2056540797707663_573697920100990976_o — You are the company you keep fellas! Wait, I thought they weren’t a slate!

We don’t rubber stamp every Democrat that comes down the line, nor do we rally against every Republican (Vote Steve McKay in District 2 if you are voting in the Republican primary!) Click here and here to read what we think about Galen Clagett.

This morning we were alerted to a story about congressional contender David Trone and his efforts to get the African American vote in A Miner Detail. Read it all here, but pay special attention to this excerpt that has to do with trying to recruit two Frederick City Aldermen to his campaign:

On Shackelford, Trone writes, “he is the easy fruit.”

“I don’t want to use him right away. I want to use Roger Wilson because we have to bring him out and get him to support us openly and that will send other messages to the black community because he represents in absentia Jan Gardner in the county government and he has his own strong network of people than Derek who has been to my house and been great doesn’t have [sic].”

Trone continued, “After we run Roger down and get as much help from him as we can get, then we will talk about when to shift over to Derek.”

Trone does not have the backing of your Lady Yokels.

We know there are more candidates that we need to bring attention to, but this is all we have the time and energy for today. If you know of any other stories that need to be shown the light of day, do not hesitate to put them in the comments for all to see!

Only 6 more months of Shrelauter! Your June 5th council bingo game is here!

June 5, 2018June 5, 2018 fclocalyokel1 Comment

Can you believe that Shrelauter will be off the council dais in just 6 short months?! Billy isn’t even trying to run in his primary election, and Kirby? Well, we can’t predict the future, but things haven’t been looking so good for his CE race either! Hopefully the new council won’t be as cray cray as this one and we can take it easy around Yokel headquarters for a while.

This evening’s agenda is oh so very full. We have a myriad of budget adjustments, approval of FCC’s budget (will FCC’s president have to slap down Billy’s outsourcing ideas again?), and then…oh dear…an amendment to the ethics code. Will Kirby be able to control himself?

Then we have two hearings on community block grants. We are sure Tony is going to pipe up here, since he doesn’t believe the government should be giving out grants and picking all those winners and losers. We end the evening with two more hearings on sustainability and holy moly macaroni… the Monocacy River Plan. We’ll leave the game up to you. Use whatever beverage you need, if you want to drink after a traditional bingo, or any square you mark that’s up to you! Just remember to be safe, don’t call Billy, and VOTE! #localelectionsmatter!

Screen Shot 2018-02-23 at 10.27.08 AM — Some of these items aren’t on the agenda. Don’t worry one of the Tweedles will bring something up about them anyway. Our Cristal Ball says so. Drink!

Conservative Clagett, Kirby fan, candidate chock full o’ covfefe

June 3, 2018 fclocalyokel3 Comments

What is Clagett playing at? Did anyone else receive his fancy “I’m a progressive” mailer and wonder which Democrats of Frederick County go into a primary election thinking to themselves when they select their At-Large Council Candidates, “I hope he supports #KirbyDelauter!” There are no such creatures, are there? If you exist, Sasquatch, please show yourself! Sometimes we are out here in Yokel land wondering what planet we are on.

Clagett has this great story about how he’s known some a them Good Ol’ Boys (never meanin’ no harm… ♫♬♬ ♫ ♬♬ ) since they were knee high to a gopher. While that’s a great tale of community ties, it does not mean that these toddlers grew up to have any sense. Or, really, that they exited their emotional toddlerhood at any point in their lives, TBH. If you have followed some of these individuals over time, their voting records, their public conduct on the podium, and in once case what one of our fans heroically referred to as what appears to be a person having “several midlife crises at once” would lead you to believe that personal loyalty trumps all common sense. Really, though, it’s just a fondness for developers that they all share a common bond over. Please check back with that prior link, as it has several resources to support our aggravation with this man that we do not have the patience to rehash today.

Hahahaahahaha. No.

May 24, 2018 fclocalyokel4 Comments

Surely many of our readers will have already read this interview with Billy Shreve where he touts his ~~fabulous~~ record of ~~accomplishments.~~ Honestly, we are still laughing that Billy has attending the Winter Olympics and Tour de France listed as accomplishments. Those are cool things, sure, but most of us don’t list our vacations as part of our CV.

We just want to remind you of some of his highlights we have taken note of over the last several years. This is not a complete list of everything we have written about him.

Billy Shreve shares “ideas” about women

Billy Shreve has biglig aspirations in Annapolis, is mostly full of B.S.

Ah, Billy Shreve, The Oracle of Fredneck, hath spoken

TBT: Remember local third grade spat expert, Billy Shreve?

Billy is a boil on the butt of this county government! Your April 10th “we can’t take this much longer” meeting run-down.

Billy did some work! Bad, and possibly illegal work, but work!

Did Billy “unwittingly” retweet Russian election propaganda? You bet he did!

Too busy to attend Billy’s senate kickoff? WATCH THIS!

The unbelievable musings of one Billy Shreve.

Your Billy Shreve October 2015 Briefs…..Yes it’s as bad as it sounds.

Workshop on Human Trafficking AKA Billy gives reasons to tell us why people are for it!

Billy doesn’t understand socialism and other fun facts! Your February 21st meeting run-down!