How to become politically involved

So many people are fired up and need a way to channel their energy instead of be fearful and mournful, now that we are confronting the fact that Idiocracy was apparently a documentary predicting the future of America. Our inbox was blessed by a kind local reader who is relatively new to the area and seeking suggestions as to how to become more involved with the political community.

Truthfully, we may not be the best advisers on the subject, since our main role around here is to point and laugh. We hope to provide reader friendly content that helps people keep interested in such fascinating topical issues as zzzzzzzzzzzoning lawzzzzzzzzzzz. Fortunately for the Yokel Ladies, Shrelauter can even make this stuff dramatic and appalling sometimes. We would also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that “we the people” run the damned circus that we have turned this republic into. Being an involved citizen–as this reader seeks to do–is the best course of action. Watching council meetings to familiarize yourself with the goings on of our community (we promise, this is the best reality TV around) writing LTEs to the real newspaper, and very most importantly interacting with your elected officials at every level are all great ways to get started. However, none of those will necessarily put you into the local community in a “boots on the ground” sense. It’s just a start that will familiarize you with what we are dealing with around here, but these boots were made for walkin’ and we are getting the distinct feeling from the women here, there, and everywhere that a lot of boots are lacing up for a march on Washington.

As moms, we also find PTA to be a great way for moms to get started. Just look at Sarah Palin, newly tapped for Department of the Interior, after her start as a PTA mama grizzly hockey mom, part term governor, matriarch of a sanctimonious barroom brawl, and reality show star (thanks be to the original maverick John McCain, who is totally not a hero, according to President Elect Middle Finger). You can go absolutely anywhere from there! Apparently.

No Brawndo necessary, thank you very much.
No Brawndo necessary, thank you very much.

For other young moms looking to find a path forward right now, we would love suggestions from readers. We would really love it if Councilmember Fitzwater has the opportunity to offer an idea, but she did just return from her maternity leave and is probably very, very busy right now doing a teaching job–which is like a job and half for real–and a “part time” council member job, and being mother to an infant. Honestly, we don’t know how she does that.

If you think we are putting up with this you’ve done gone lost your marbles!

Over the past two days we’ve seen some really disturbing things on the interwebs. If you are a fan of our work, it wouldn’t take a mental giant to discern that we were devastated over the results of the Presidential election. Not just because Trump won, but also because we were/are fearful that the xenophobic, sexist and racist among us would take his election as a sign that their views are legitimate and should be sung to the world. Local case in point:

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So even when his comment was questioned by two womenfolk, he decided to double down! Look Blaine, the First Lady is not there to be your eye candy! In fact, not one of us ladies is put upon this Earth for that ridiculous purpose. How dare you insinuate that is what the First Lady is meant for? As though if she hasn’t met your definition of what a woman should look like then she is not worthy of the position? We are sure that Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is spinning in her grave for you to make that kind of comparison.  This just shows us, once again, that leopard’s spots have NOT changed.

Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!
Pro-tip: We are not put on this Earth for you to gawk at. Stop saying terrible things about our gender because we are not going to take it!

 

Proposed school calendars and joint BOE meetings! Too much fun for one post?

So fun!
So fun!

First off, FCPS has put out two proposed 2017-2018 calendars for public comment. One has a before Labor Day start and one after. The calendar with the post Labor Day start has done away with Spring Break. That caused your Lady Yokels to gasp! Follow this link and then make sure you comment. This is local government y’all, your voice counts!

Yesterday we made you aware that the Board of Education and county council was meeting. The FNP covered it pretty well so we won’t repeat their points. We do, however, have a few comments of our own.

First off: Where’s Kirby? The school construction presentation would have presented him with the perfect chance to grandstand about his now defunct buy back lease idea. He usually doesn’t pass up a chance to beat that dead horse.( Or any dead horse for that matter.)

Secondly, will someone please, please tell Billy to dress appropriately and pay ATTENTION during these meetings?!

Just look to your left Billy if you can't figure it out. And get your phone out of your lap!!!
Just look to your left Billy if you can’t figure it out. And get your phone out of your lap!!!

Thirdly, congratulations on your retirement Mr. Ray Barnes. We will miss your presentations and  your insight into school  construction. Thank you for your 35 years of service!

And finally, Jessica most graciously solved one ,out of the many ,former BOE candidate’s witch hunts. She returned to work yesterday. Not that was anyone’s, including our, business!  Good luck Ms. Fitzwater! As mommies we know how challenging the transition can be!

 

Pulling back the curtain, is the witch the hunted or the hunter?

You probably read this article in the FNP previously, but a recent comment caught our notice. It is a link to several email enquiries made by Cindy Rose, candidate for the Board of Education and self proclaimed education watch dog. Even after reading the article that alluded to many of the topics included in the link, it is still surprising and shocking to read these requests.

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Seriously, is this her hero?

 

Ms. Rose wants to have her hand in every single aspect of FCPS. Every one! How does she keep track of all the witch hunts? Does she use excel? Does she have a ledger board? A notebook? Scrapbook? Spell book? A detective’s investigation board?

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She must have a really big board.

She has bristled at being labeled a book burner, but these emails show she has questions on several books as well as videos that FCPS uses. What seems nervy is that the books she is concerned about, she admits she has not actually read, just read the reviews. How can you complain about something for which you have only read a review? If you are going to complain, at least make sure you really, really know what you are complaining about.

She has questions specifically about Jessica Fitzwater’s employment status with FCPS.

She has lots of questions about why the school is sending out information on community events.

Why does FCPS spend money?

Read the attachments for yourself. We just keep getting angry as we read and re-read them.

 

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Your Friday dose of excuses and witch hunts!

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In today’s Political Notes, Danielle Gaines, touches on the Kirby sign controversy. (Your Lady Yokels are mentioned!) What excuse does Kirby offer for his Mantrum Facebook post?

“I took a sign off my property that was not authorized to be there,” Delauter said.

As far as the “One shot one kill” statement, Delauter said it was intended only to tell Republicans to vote only for Rose in Tuesday’s election. (There are three open seats on the ballot.)

“It has nothing to do with harming anybody,” Delauter said. The reference refers to having one shot to place a Republican on the school board. If GOP voters also vote for a Democrat, it would “kill” their support for Rose.

First off, there’s three open seats on the board. So if every Republican voted for Cindy and one or two other Democrats it wouldn’t necessarily “kill” their support for Rose.  This strategy of one vote is really myopic and prevents people from exploring candidates for the other two open seats. Essentially they are allowing everyone else to choose the two other candidates that will sit on the board by encouraging them to give up those votes. Now, as to whether or not either one of those signs was authorized to be there:

The Maryland State Highway Administration removes political and other temporary signs from state roads within a general right of way. The agency considers that area to be the space between utility poles on either side of a road, SHA spokesman David Buck said. The right of way could include private land.

“No non-approved signing is allowed in our roadways. Period,” Buck said.

SHA workers will pick up signs when they see them and take them back to local shops. The agency focuses particularly on areas where drivers should pay attention, such as ramps.

“The last thing we want people to do when they should be devoting their full attention to driving is … looking at a whole bunch of campaign signs,” Buck said.

And honestly, the point of all this wasn’t really about whether the signs should be there or not. It was about the way that Kirby handled the whole situation…on Facebook..like a petulant child.

Now that’s not the only goody in the Political Notes section this fine morning. Kirby wants to know who is behind ads in some local papers asking voters to support Yes on Questions A and B.

Well, the paper found out in two flashes of a kitten’s tail. County Executive Jan Gardner. After clearing it with the legal department and seeing that other jurisdictions have done the same, it was decided to run the ad in three local papers. What we love, love, love about this section the most is this quote:

In an interview, Laxton noted that the County Council voted 7-0 in support of the measure, and the ad was forwarded to the council’s leadership before it was approved for printing.

Which doesn’t exactly mesh with this quote from earlier in the article:

“I’m trying to figure out who authorized payment for that,” Delauter said in a phone interview.

Sigh. You voted for both of these charter amendments Kirby! And if you had bothered to ask just one person at Winchester Hall we bet you would have found the answer to your question.  But that is not the # way is it?

Kirby please take a break this weekend. Back away from the computer, stay away from signs and just kick back and relax. We beg you!

 

Kirby is a winner winner chicken dinner

We’ve been trying to get some answers to questions about what the real rules are regarding campaign signs. It is surprisingly confusing, and varies a lot. If the signs were on Kirby’s Kar Kleaners’ property, then he may have been infringed upon. And everyone knows that when someone does something such as put a temporary sign on a stick on your land, the first thing you should do is be klassy with a k, and the second thing you should do is react in anger, and the third thing you should do is make an angry post to your Facebook wall where the Local Yokel is going to get hold of it and bust a gut pointing and laughing at how the same guy did the same kind of dumb thing. Again!!! It’s true! We find this funny, this inability to learn from one’s own mistakes.

At no point should you call someone and alert them to a potential problem. Then they may apologize for how egregiously you were wronged, make amends, and educate whomever may have been misinformed about where they may or may not place those hideous signs. Then you might live happily ever after without having “yer prawperty” besmirched by the names of qualified adults. That would just be ridiculous!

Here. Have an MVP award:

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This is so much more fun than his dead horse talking points, because even if he is right!!!! (wouldn’t’ THAT be a gas) he is only shooting himself in the foot. And maybe it ricochets over to Cindy Rose’s foot, too, since she has a reputation for a short fuse and birds of a feather and whatnot. Such a shame.

cindy-is-an-idiot
Will you just look at that flock of birds…

An alert reader provided us with the final resting place of the unfortunate sign. As you can see, it was carefully relocated by a steward of the county’s natural resources.

Never one to be concerned with the environment.
Never one to be concerned with the environment.

 

EDIT: Oh, oops, per real journalist Katherine Heerbrandt:

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Looks to us like Kirby’s just a hypocrite who threw away a sign he didn’t like and left one he did.

 

EDIT AGAIN: Kirby still says it’s his land. Like we said, this is all very unclear. But whatever. He still acted proud to be a giant man baby.

 

The case of the secret meeting

Ni hao! So a clue appeared in our inbox aujourd’hui. Let’s take a look. Vamanos. (We’re trying out all of the languages, in case we have to move after the election…j/k…ish). What were we saying, oh yes. Tomorrow, Thursday the Third of Noviembre Tony Chmelik is hosting a private meeting in Winchester Hall (no, it is not a campaign event for Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Comacho! Who do you think he is, Billy Shreve?).

It’s a roundtable to  discuss concerns raised by the winery/brewery/distillery industry about overregulation. Now far be it from your Local Yokels to begrudge these savvy business people the production of intoxicants, especially at this point in 2016, but this does sound a bit goofy. Why is this just for Tony and the brewers and vintners and distillers, but the county agencies who might be able to help out are seemingly not included or invited…

These meddlesome kids are just asking questions. Anyone (else) care to speculate wildly?

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Achtung, bad hombres!

 

#kirbydelauter will kill your signs!!!

Sorry Creampuff. We know it's something new everyday.
Sorry Creampuff. We know it’s something new everyday.

In his grand tradition of posting his trangressions on social media, Kirby shared this today:

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One shot one kill? What is that supposed to mean?  Oh, Kirby you really should close your account. Have you learned nothing from the whole hashtag incident? Or from your friend Blaine?  For your own good, shut your account down!

Is there a Yokel legal expert in the house who can explain the penalty if a current office holder were to be found stealing or destroying campaign signs?

Why didn’t the charter amendments on the ballot include one for recalls?