Tonight there is a joint meeting between the county council members and the city’s board of aldermen.
So Fancy!
These meetings usually go fairly well, so we are hoping for another cooperative pow wow between these two branches of our local government. On the agenda are these four items:
a. Frederick Municipal Airport – Tim Davis, Planner, City of Frederick Planning Department
b. Frederick Community Action Agency (FCAA) – Mike Spurrier, Director
c. Economic Development Department- Richard Griffin, Director of The City of Frederick Economic Development Department and Helen Propheter, Director, Frederick County Office of Economic Development
d. Briefing on potential funding methods for an oversize gym at Butterfly Ridge Elementary School – Kirby Delauter, County Councilman
Things may get a little dicey on the last one. We reported last week on Kirby’s presentation of his “potential funding” and so far it doesn’t look feasible. We’ll see how he tries to dress it up for the city government.
This was a quick one, and mercifully there is no drama to report back on. Assistant County Attorney Kathy Mitchell presented a summary of the APFO bill to extend the provisions beyond the current sunset date of July 20, 2016.
We are noticing a pattern that we find kind of humorous. Billy doesn’t read anything, of course. That’s what workshops are for. Avoiding the homework. He didn’t read the APFO legislation, and certainly not the Aurora contract (which comes up in the new business). He just asks the same questions multiple times and then announces, “Exactly,” in affirmation that the person enduring this does indeed know what they are talking about. As though he has done some honorable service by elucidating the matter with his perverted version of Socratic method.
Lookin’ sharp!
New Business was fun. If you enjoy a Joseph Heller novel, definitely watch the New Business item of “How are we supposed to add a new business item?” Billy comes up with a bunch of reasons to have a workshop, which is no surprise, and they pass sorta unanimously with 5 ayes and 2 yeses. We would like to suggest that Billy and Kirby go with yeah and naw instead of yea and nea, as is befitting of their dignity.
MC Keegan-Ayer is at one point compelled to explain the branches of local government and how they function to the ever curious former county commissioner. Here’s some School House Rock that could help a Billy out.
Also there’s a good part where Billy inadvertently explains the problems that can occur with impermeable surface construction, but of course he has no idea that he did that. He is truly a marvel of Frederick County politics.
Oh, no snark here: Jerry Donald wants a workshop on what to do with blighted properties. Sounds like a plan.
Leroy! You took the game too far! Don’t be like Leroy, people!
Seriously folks, if the Lady Yokels find you peeking out of trashcans we may have to put a moratorium on these games! It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had one, so take care if you think your tolerance may be low. Let’s begin this game with a hearty congratulations to Jessica and her husband on the birth of their son. Between us Lady Yokels there are 8 Junior Yokels running around. So welcome to the club Councilwoman Fitzwater!
Grab your agenda and follow along, there’s lots of items tonight and lots of times that the folks on the dais need to utilize their listening skills. Hopefully they are all paying attention and NOT staring at the phones for advice.
Public comment is back on the top of the agenda. 15 minutes max at 3 minutes each, means 5 folks max. If any of these 5 folks decide this is a good time to call our esteemed Council President a turncoat, slam back a Benedict Arnold with a smile upon your face.
It’s certainly tragic when things don’t work out the way you thought they would.
Nine, that’s right nine, budget transfers are up next! We are probably pretty good until we get to the bottom two concerning school construction. When the objections come, mix up some Harvey Wallbanger, since we are all so close to banging our heads on the wall.
It’s listening time now. An update will be made by the Maryland Association of Counties. Hopefully Billy and Kirby haven’t partaken of any Fireball shots beforehand and are now engaging in some drunk texting that would cause some kind of embarrassing political resignation. (Who are we kidding, drink away fellas!) In their honor, have a Fireball shot every time they seem to be distracted by their electronic lifeline.
Time to approve the County Executive’s appointment to the Maryland Fire Service Professional Qualifications Board. If this is met with any static, mix up a Flaming Asshole. Yes, we said it!
It’s time to either approve or reject the historic designation for Glenellen Farm in Ijamsville. When Billy or Turncoat Kirby object to this on account of the brain-washers not getting their “drug treatment” facility, go ahead and have yourself a UFO and good luck driving those nasty Thetans out of your body!
Yippee!
Next up is a renewal for a contract for an external audit. We hear some talk here and there about accountability and outside opinions, so if any nonsense shall occur, sip on your Billionaire cocktail. Since that’s what all these county employees are anyway, right?
Listening time again! A presentation from the department of Solid Waste management and an overview of Agricultural Preservation Programs. We’ll keep the drink the same. If anyone is staring at their electronic delight instead of the informative presentation have yourself a Fireball shot!
Lastly, it’s a presentation of amendments to the Charter from both the County Executive and Council. It’s a long list so we will refer you back to the agenda if you want to see it for yourself. Since that’s probably enough drinking for tonight, get yourself a nice cold drink of that EPA regulated water and re-hydrate.
We’ll update you on the meeting as soon as we humanly can!
The Yokel desk is trying to do their charter amendments homework and we find that we need a tutor. What do all y’all make of this crazy sandwich of proposed amendments from Tony Chmelik?
And then he goes on to put the peanut butter n’ fluff in, where he asks for the compensation for the County Executive to be nearly doubled from $95,000 to $180,000. That is highlighted as an amount equal to 125% of the average Frederick County household income. Plus he also strikes through the part where said officeholder can’t hold other offices or work in other capacities. And then if you will follow along, you will see more of the same from above in his 6th Amendment. Pay attention to the parts in bold; those are the proposed changes…
And of course, we know that County Executive Jan Gardner does not support the aforementioned amendments to the charter that would drastically increase the CE salary.
The question is, what is he playing at? And we seem to recall him having derisive things to say at the previous Maryland Association of Counties (MACo) Update when he talked about professional officeholders like they have in <<gasp, clutch pearls>> Montgomery County. Them durned professionals. And yet here he is, acting like an executive should be extra high and mighty. And for what? Is this so Kirby gets a sweet deal if (Bast forbid) he is elected to the CE position? Doesn’t it seem like Kirby is always trying to get a sweet deal from the guv’mint?
This is a have cake, eat it, too, vision, is it not? Coming from the corner of constant bellyaching that according to their intimate acquaintances with them, the Founding Fathers didn’t want professionals in government. Now (Tax & Spend?) Tony wants the executive to be ultra compensated and be allowed to continue to run their construction businesses, or what have you? And FWIW, we can all be pretty sure our forefathers had neither Billy Shreve nor Kirby Delauter in mind as ideals. In fact, they’d have been tragically disappointed by a look ahead into 2016, now wouldn’t they?!
Is this some set up for these human impediments to a functioning society to start in with their buyer’s remorse about the charter government? Probably. And boy howdy, will that be a long winded bellows of misery. It will probably even rival Kirby’s infinite poutrage about the teachers voting on the BOE budget (and in the end the teachers still get no raises, as it turns out–an irony totally lost on that idiot). If they were planning to repeal the charter, as they’ve been hinting at, why bother crafting amendments? Or is the idea to sabotage it from within?
Frederick County Politics would have given the nations forefathers an attack of indigestion.
The things we see on Facebook! Some people should have a breathalyzer attached to their computer to prevent them from typing such nonsense as this:
You’re going to kill Tommy! Never deliver news like that when someone is drinking!
But seriously folks, what the everlasting hell? And Blaine, it’s not over when YOU say it’s over. It’s over when we the VOTERS say it’s over. AND IT BE OVER!!! What is interesting about this post is that he is implying that he’s still in contention. He may not be the “lead singer,” but he thinks there’s still a place for him. Or, more than likely, there are shenanigans afoot and he is creating a dramatic distraction. Is that why his compadres have been so quiet? ooh, folks, remain vigilant, this could be bad…
Is he the one that Kirby and Billy text during council meetings? We saw this image last week and chuckled:
But maybe there’s more truth to it than we realized.
With the Facebook and WFMD insults flying around like rice at a wedding we were sure this meeting was going to be a Class A disaster. Pleasant surprises, or perhaps it’s our lowered expectations, sometimes come forth in the shape of a county council workshop.
There were only two items on tonight’s agenda. Jerry puts forth the suggestion that perhaps everyone leave their cell phones to the side. A good one we think. We’ve noticed two people in particular who seem to have their heads buried in their devices (wonder who they are texting…). The procedures for the council are now up for vote. Even though Billy got some of the changes he wanted, he and Kirby still vote no. Tony’s not on the bandwagon this week so it passes 5-2.
Next up our wonderful county employees give a nice presentation on solar utility fields. If you recall, back in February County Executive Gardner put a halt to this because the county had seen a sharp increase in applications. Therefore, it was deemed prudent to study the issue so the county could have some clear guidelines. We have to say the discussion was pretty nice. Kirby was concerned that the bond that would allow the government to remove solar fields that haven’t been used in over a year constituted illegal government seizure of property. But he took the explanation well and was rather subdued. His demeanor caused a flurry of texts between your Yokel gals; not sure what exactly is going on there.
Everyone else had some good points and questions, even SOME of Billy’s were reasonable. However, he disagrees with the notion that fences should be put up because he doesn’t believe that deer would bother the panels. Even though those who actually have experience with them say they do. And there was some point (and we use that word lightly) about how the Appalachian Trial is high so therefore you can’t hide the solar fields from it. And why does he always have to act as though he’s an expert on every single subject when he so clearly is not?
The council will think on this and come up with some suggestions before the July 15th deadline. There may even be a public hearing so, if you have a dog in this fight, make sure you check the county website.
We mourn the passing of Bud Otis’s membership in the Frederick County Republican Party. The general climate of vindictive hostility within the county has inspired Council President Bud Otis to change his political registration to unaffiliated.
You may think it would be easy for us to be pleased by this turn of events–watching the jerks eat their own. It most assuredly is not. We need to have two functioning parties, not a rabid pack of arseholes who waste time, impede the functioning of quotidian matters we all depend upon for a good quality of life in Frederick County, and go saying insane things on air on WFMD. Some things that we frankly are not willing to even repeat. When you see where this paragraph is willing to go, you will have to wonder, “What on Earth could it be that is absolutely beyond the pale?” Then there are the apparent residents of some padded cell in a relative’s dank basement who get on Facebook’s Worst Nightmare Watch and tell anyone who disagrees with them things like they have sweat from the Council President’s testicles rubbed all over them. We have some other (apparently) BREAKING news: politics is not supposed to be about pushing people away from your point of view (follow that link back there; it is in a Republican’s own words). Bud Otis is an incredibly good and decent man, who has governed thoughtfully and responsibly on behalf of this county. He been forced out of his party by a party purity test that becomes increasingly guano psychotic. Thanks for that term. You know who you are, girlfriend.
It has become ever more alarming that we appear to be setting examples for young people who are now reaching voting age who may have never even seen the two party system do something like compromise. Failure to function, a la Ted-I’m-Taking-My-Ball-and-Going-Home Cruz, is bad enough. Being the party of bullying is worse. Billy and Kirby employ both tactics, liberally haha see what we did there! Tony is a little more conservative, but not always on the responsible side. We got ourselves a countywide nationwide guano show, people.
We are super sad. How are we supposed to say, “Look folks, there are sane people on both sides of the aisle.” Bud Otis gave us hope. We were inspired. We now rely on some involved private citizens to carry that mantle: Carl Thomas, Steve McKay, Craig Hicks, and Carol Jaar Sepe, we look to you to find the bipartisan common ground. We’re very grateful to you.
We do have utmost respect for the decision Mr. Otis felt himself forced to make. Bravo, Bud Otis. You do you. Middle finger to the haters.
‘Specially you Ellen Bartlett. Thank Zeus Jerry Donald won that race!
We have a different kind of poll for you today Yokels. We are thinking that we need some good derisive nicknames for our unesteemed Councilmen. So we have a few suggestions to get started, but we want you to add your own. We will recompile the results for a poll to determine how we henceforth refer to these guys. We are counting on you. We know you will not let us down.
And let’s close out our last poll. Looks like Ethics are important after all!
We already thanked them for the recent explosion in interest they have garnered for our blog. It seems that they timed their nonsense just smashingly well. After all the side show histrionics over it being unfair for ALL the businesses to have to abide by the same laws, when they seem to feel that a wink and a nod and a post to Kirby’s Facebook page should suffice, they followed up with their main act: budget grandstanding (act 1)and(act 2).Oh wait,(also act 3).
It is time we gave the first Boomhauer Boomerang Award in honor of our generous benefactors. Ironic that they should prove to be so giving, recalling that one of the clowns withheld support he claimed he ordinarily would have given to his district’s high school football team when the County deemed that it would be unseemly for a sitting council member to profit off of county contracts. We bring that up again, in case any of our new readers have just begun to realize that Frederick County politics is hands down the best reality show around.
Howdy, boys! We sure do thank you kindly. Keep up the good work. Your overtaxed golgi apparatus are going to just burn out eventually.
We’ve heard through the grape vine that today is Cliff Cumber’s last day at the Frederick News Post. Your Yokel Ladies have enjoyed his editorials over the years, but none so much as Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter:
Knowing Councilman Kirby Delauter as we do, we weren’t surprised that he threatenedThe Frederick News-Postwitha lawsuitbecause we had, he says — and we’re not making this up — been putting Kirby Delauter’s name in the paper without Kirby Delauter’s authorization. Attorneys would be called, Kirby Delauter said.
In fact, we spent quite some time laughing about it. Kirby Delauter, an elected official; Kirby Delauter, a public figure? Surely, Kirby Delauter can’t be serious? Kirby Delauter’s making a joke, right?
Round about then, we wondered, if it’s not a joke, how should we now refer to Kirby Delauter if we can’t use his name (Kirby Delauter)? Could we get away with an entire editorial of nothing but “Kirby Delauter” repeated over and over again — Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter? OK, imagine we agreed because of temporary madness or something funny in the water that week, how would we reference “Kirby Delauter” and do our job as journalists without running afoul of our lack of authorization?
Blanks? Sure, we sometimes use hyphens in the case of expletives. Perhaps we could do that: “K—- D——-.” Or, perhaps, “Councilman [Unauthorized].” We giggled a bit more than we should have when we came up with “the Councilman Formerly Known as Commissioner Kirby Delauter,” which doesn’t seem as funny written down in black and white and includes his name, which defeats the point. Maybe we should just put his initials, “KD,” with an asterisk to a footnote (KD*), or refer to him as GLAT, the acronym for his campaign: “Govern Like A Taxpayer.” We could even make it sound a little hip-hop with a well-placed hyphen: G-Lat. Speaking of, could we get away with “K-Del”? Or we could simply go with the Harry Potter-esque “He Who Shall Not be Named.” (Cue the lightning strike and peal of thunder.)
Yet we could take the low road down even further and childishly mangle “Kirby Delauter” into references you, the reader, would still understand. “Sherbert Deluder,” say. Or “Derby Kelauter.” “Shirley Delaughter” (and don’t call me Shirley). We found a great automatic online anagrammer that generated all kinds of alternatives and could make it a challenge for our readers to decode each time we have to reference the councilman: “Rebuked artily.” That was a good one. “Bakery diluter” is just silly but does have a ring about it. “Keyed rural bit” was another that caught our eye as somewhat telling, because Kirby Delauter’s pretty keyed up. We’re sure there’s a joke in “Brutelike Yard” somewhere.
Discernibly, though, Kirby Delauter’s ignorance of what journalism is and does is no joke, and illustrates one disturbing aspect too prevalent in conservatives’ beliefs: That the media are all-liberal stooges hell bent on pursuing some fictional leftwing agenda. Generally this “fact” is bleated when the facts on the ground differ from conservative talking points. Take Councilman Billy Shreve’s abstract, almost nonsensical defense of KD*: “I think media outlets are cowards and they hide behind the label of journalists and that’s a bully pulpit to expand their liberal” agenda. Cowards? Tell that to the families of the 60 journalists killed in 2014, or the 70 in 2013, or the 74 who died in 2012, according to the Committee to Protect Journalists. All in pursuit of the truth, or the most reliable version of it at hand in the most dangerous regions of the world.
Edifying as it may be to lapse into name calling — and yes, we allowed ourselves a little childishness above and maybe a little bit below — we need to make one serious point the councilman needs to hear and understand: We will not bow to petty intimidation tactics because a local politician thinks he can score political points with his base throwing around empty threats.
Legally, Kirby Delauter has no case.
And why? Here’s how Washington Post blogger Eugene Volokh, who “teaches free speech law, religious freedom law, church-state relations law, a First Amendment Amicus Brief Clinic, and tort law, at UCLA School of Law,” nicely sums it up:
“Uh, Council Member: In our country, newspapers are actually allowed to write about elected officials (and others) without their permission. It’s an avantgarde experiment, to be sure, but we’ve had some success with it.” You know, that whole First Amendment thing.
That’s why we’re taking his threat with a pinch of salt. We’ve seen this behavior before (not just from Kirby Delauter) and it’s worth highlighting again. Bullying seems to be the only way Kirby “Don’t say my name” Delauter feels he can lead. Only now, the target is not the public at hearings or occasional “punk” staff member, an arrogant, self-serving, whining middle school teacher or fellow “moron” commissioner, it’s The News-Post. Instead of taking his job seriously like the voters demanded and the rest of the council seem to grasp, he’s grabbing at distractionary shoot-the-messenger tactics that make a lot of noise but, to quote Shakespeare, a man who knew drama when he saw it, noise that “signifies nothing.” Frederick County has big issues to tackle in 2015 and we have yet to hear Kirby Delauter sound out one single, sensible idea. He used the word “govern” in his slogan. Maybe he should apply that to his temper first.
Enough. Seriously. What’s Kirby Delauter going to do? Sue everyone who’s making fun of him on Twitter using the #kirbydelauter hashtag, or on Facebook? Boy, his attorney will be able to retire off that.
Reasonable men (and women) are required to move Frederick County forward. All Kirby Delauter is doing yet again is displaying his inability to control his temper, embarrassing himself, his district, the county and those who voted him into office. If he wants to govern like a taxpayer, he needs to respect the taxpayers whose money provides his paycheck, stop this silly, inflammatory nonsense, and get to work.
———————
* Kirby Delauter.
Absolute brilliance. And anyone Kirby accuses of having a mental illness is okay in our book. Therefore, Mr. Cumber, we wish you all the best and hope you will take with you this Yokel tip of the hat:
frederick local yokel 