Your Lady Yokels have been enthralled by the drama unfolding this evening. It all started when Frederick County Fact Check pointed us in the direction of Kathy Afzali’s post:
We are a little alarmed that we finally agree with Delegate Afzali on something! You see, Kirby did some kind of push poll that got Kathy all in a tizzy. So much so that she had to bring Hillary Clinton into the mix! Former county commissioner and Kirby cheerleader, Blaine Young, was not going to sit by and let Kathy rip Kirby apart like this!
Holy Crap! Did Kathy really go to Kirby’s house and offer him a job?! It’s a little premature for that, isn’t it? We also have to note that Blaine must be some kind of elitist. How else would you explain his praise for Kirby rejecting county health insurance and a pension? For it seems as though he believes that only the wealthy should be allowed to serve in public office.
We thought it was over and then we saw this sponsored post in our feed!
The way these people throw around the word liberal!!! It’s really something! Buckle up folks we are in for a bumpy ride!
Guess what, jerk-face. We cashed those checks and donated to charities providing for the people you kicked in the BALLS, where a $100 donation will do a lot more than buy one dinner out. Disgusting. Trying to buy a vote with $100. Bless David Gray (R-easonable) for having some class and leaving his name off of that letter. These crass simpletons. You know who noticed the reduced workforce?! The 20% who lost their livelihood, you collection of scrotal tissues.
BTW, “legal tax payers” should know that even undocumented workers pay taxes. And then receive little in return. It’s a genius scam. What loathsome testes you all are.
You should all go to this page and comment. It’s your 1A Right. Make sure you document with a screen grab in case you need the ACLU to stop him from silencing you on his official minion of the scary scary government that he hates page.
So, this isn’t exactly breaking news at this point, since everyone who cares about local politics has been gossiping away about it, but OMGeeeeeee.
Blaine’s ex…no, not his ex wife, his ex-fiancée, the one and only Regina Williams, who hitched her wagon to this sinking cinderblock post-Black-Book drama and contemporaneous with his last marriage…is running for County Executive.
The back and forth in our quarter upon learning was something like: I feel drunk, but I’m not drinking. It’s just all the blood rushing to my overactive brain. This is just too crazy. Is this her way of showing him up? Her way of showing Jan Gardner up (for the demotion she received when her boyfriend wasn’t in charge anymore)? A two birds with one stone maneuver? And very most importantly, doesn’t she know that all anyone will talk about now is how she got involved with the married boss rumored to be into hookers, and then he got busted for solicitation? Just check the comments section of the FNP for proof. Things don’t change! And foresight ain’t her strong suit!
Ordinarily we would say a person’s private life doesn’t have anything to do with public office, and we really don’t know anything about her opinions on the issues, but we feel the same way about this dramedy with Blagina that we do about Anthony Weiner. At a certain point your judgment is just so unreliable that we are left to wonder: what other probably terrible decisions should you not be trusted with? We’re thinking, “All of them, County.”
And yet we have to kind of root for Ms. Williams here, given who her competition is. Because # is involved, so we have reason to rejoice. What kind of position does that put her habitually disgraced ex-fiancé in when the primary involves his obnoxious bestie and his former honey? The very idea is squeeeeeeee!
So at current count we have three candidates in the clown car, all very worthy of the clown status designation, including #Kirby Delauter and Kathy Afzali. And remember Afzali and her text spat a la teenager with Sheriff Jenkins? Because he (clearly accurately) called her juvenile names! Folks, we are–all of us–too old for this crap! Where are the grown people? This is going to be one interesting election. We have been of the mind that Frederick County is actually ahead of the national curve with regards to electing a buffoon and then collectively realizing oopsy-daisy-this-guy’s-crazy. Hopefully the sun is setting on the “any old fool will do” dreams. Remain vigilant (and remember: friends don’t let friends vote for looneytooneys).
We’ve already alerted you to the fact that #kirbydelauter has a fancy new website up and running to collect all your money for his County Executive bid. Word is that former contender for that office, Blaine Young, is jumping aboard as his campaign manager. And BAWHAAHA! Please let that be true! Today we have some insight into our other rumored Republican contender for that office, Delegate Kathy Afzali.
In one of our fave FNP sections, Political Notes, we are made aware of how Delegate Afzali is conducting herself while representing our fine area in Annapolis. Turns out, not so good! You see, Delegate Afzali refuses to participate in the General Assembly’s women caucus. And wait until you see the REASONS:
“Afzali said she chooses not to take part in the caucus for several reasons. One, she said, is that so-called women’s issues generally apply to the population at large. She also feels that most of the discussion in caucus meetings would likely focus on liberal topics.”
Do we seriously have a delegate who believes that women’s issues do not exist? Is sexism over in Ms. Afzali’s imaginary utopia? If that part isn’t astounding enough, let’s pay attention to the second part of her reasoning. It appears the Delegate cannot bear to be in the same room with those who do not subscribe to her point of view. We can imagine it can be quite taxing to share the same air with those who, through the thorough study of history, realize that women’s issues are not at all the same as those that men face. And let us also call attention to her use of the word likely, as it appears she doesn’t even know what is going on in these meetings that she has taken such strides to avoid!
What makes this even sweeter for us to write about is that many Republican women statewide do NOT share Afzali’s point of view. In fact the article reported to us:
“Rey, a Republican who frequently takes part in floor debates in the House, said she enjoys the caucus meetings as a time to speak candidly with other lawmakers.”
“I think it’s a good place to really discuss the issues and it’s an opportunity to understand different points of view,” Rey said.”
WOW!! Can we trade Kathy for this gal?! If you want a chance at being our County Executive you better shape up lady! We ladies know that while we have made great strides in this country, there is still work to be done. And, if you do happen to be elected county executive, you sure as hell better get used to hearing opposing viewpoints. Because right now, you are doing it all WRONG!
In this month’s edition of Baltimore Magazine there is a very interesting and horrifying article about the human trafficking problem in Maryland. Did y’all know that Maryland ranks fourth in the nation when it comes to human trafficking victims!?!? Also, this article points out that most human trafficking victims are: 1. U.S. Citizens and 2. Under the age of 17. The only failing of this article is that it left Frederick County off the list of Maryland counties that have formed a Human Trafficking Task Force.
We feel the need, at this point, to take a trip down memory lane to revisit the process that created this task force. First, kudos to Jessica Fitzwater for spearheading its creation and to Frederick Police Chief Hargis for recognizing the need for county services to be coordinated to help these victims.
What’s the opposite of kudos? Condemnation? Dishonor? Disregard? Because that is what Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter and Sheriff Jenkins all deserve for being against this. Let’s first go back to our June 29, 2016 post when Billy said this about the task force:
“Billy then says that there are lots of groups both for and against this issue, at which point we have to feel so grateful to Jerry Donald for saying (in the appropriate appalled voice) what we were shouting at our screens, “THERE ARE GROUPS THAT ARE FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING?!?!?!?!?!” To which Billy mutters, “Well yah…depending on how you define human trafficking…” Good grief. The Confederacy lost, right? That passes 5-2 and we know you know which marionettes didn’t vote for that, right?”
Yes, you read that correctly, Billy said there are groups in favor of human trafficking. So, both he and Kirby voted AGAINST the creation of this task force. All this happened not too long after their buddy, Blaine, was arrested after using backpage.com to find his “masseuse” ( a website idenifited by the Baltimore Magazine article as being the Craigslist of human traffickers).
Let us not forget that Chief Hargis’ polar opposite, the High Sheriff, also spoke out against the creation of this task force. According to the FNP article covering this meeting Jenkins was quoted as follows:
“I’m always leery when the local government gets involved in something that really is not a local government issue. This is a national, regional issue and law enforcement at all levels are working on it. There are already state task forces, federal task forces,” Jenkins said.
He said his main concern is that he doesn’t want the task force’s work to veer into areas already being addressed.
“I don’t want to see it become a recommendation or a mandate for law enforcement to do certain things or [for the task force to] make recommendations that are unrealistic,” he said.
So, if human trafficking occurs in Frederick County, which it most certainly does, is it not a local issue? So very confused as to why the Frederick City Police recognize the need for such a task force but our county sheriff does not!
If you missed the June meeting on this, it is worth watching, because you would hear all of the heart wrenching arguments for why this is necessary. You will also get to see good law enforcement at work when the Frederick Police department explains how they need additional resources to help people that they suspect are victims of human trafficking. Also, two of your Lady Yokels attended a lecture at FCC last year given by an actual human trafficking victim, please read our reaction to that here. Let us all remember, come next year’s election, what these guys stood for. Rumors are swirling that Billy has his eye on the Maryland Senate and Kirby on the County Executive office. Their voting record and words more than speak for themselves.
Family guy, business guy, veteran is worried about what we leave the next generation. (Historically with #: guns and $$ woohoo! Drinking water and blue crabs, meh.)
Gun Raffle!!!! That got Hough barrels o’ attention, amirite?
Give him a holler at email or phone or money at website
Property rights (Presume he will be looking to donate to provide legal aid to ranchers on the U.S.- Mexico border. Yeehaw!)
This became irresistible, even though free publicity for Kirby’s Bake Sale makes us feel all icky inside, because two “all ickies inside” make a positive. It’s just how integers work. And our favorite skeevy former politician decided to endorse Kirby on Facebook in the Klassiest of ways. I can’t even. You can’t even. We can’t even.
Unsure about changed behavior. That post gives every impression that it was written by a drunk person, but maybe he is just incredibly stupid? Since the ladies are supposedly the reason Blaine lost, please be sure to grab these Good for Nothin’ Good Ol Boyz by the ballot. Local elections matter, yo.
Yesterday, we brought you news of the Facebook family drama that was going on between the different factions of the Young family. The Frederick News Post also wrote a little about it. Most families, after they were made aware that lots of people were looking, would perhaps take pause, maybe even delete the post or at the very least STOP ADDING TO THE DRAMA! Well, none of those things happened! Before we show you a little snippet of what surely belongs in a family therapist’s folder, let’s take a short trip down memory lane.
You may remember a few months back when the rumor mill was buzzing that Blaine was going to run for mayor of Frederick. We did a post enlightening him to the fact that we do not have the Electoral College here and the Democrat vs. Republican ratio, plus his sordid past would not equal a victory in a city election. And he was all like: “I’m not running for anything, how does this stuff get started”? Well, this is how this stuff gets started:
WOW! This is August:Osage County level family dysfunction. First of all, Blaine your past will be brought up in any election you run in. We here at the Yokel will not let anyone forget about all the terrible things you did while on the BOCC. No one up here has a sudden case of amnesia concerning your prostitution arrest nor do we believe your excuse that you were just looking for a quick massage. Like the judge said, any 12 year-old boy could have discerned what the ad you answered was selling. Also, how about learning the names of the districts BEFORE announcing your intention to run for one of them? We took the liberty of doing a quick check in with the governor to see whether or not he wants your help:
What has happened? We looked into our crystal ball and told you that Council Member Comments is where it hits the fan. And so it seems. If you know more, do tell!
In other must-see TV news, the Young family (who, if you’re new here, straddles both sides of the political aisle–can you imagine Thanksgiving?) is having a nuclear Family Feud on Facebook. These people are awesome. Our own version of The Young and the Restless. The drama is Aaron Spelling worthy, and you will never in a million years guess why this mushroom cloud has been cast over the community…
It seems that State Senator Michael Hough is in a huff because Delegate Karen Young introduced some legislation without his blessing. Allowing the student representative on the BOE to occasionally (seemingly almost never meet all the conditions required for it to actually occur) vote on BOE decisions. Oh la la. You’d think she tried to read a letter from Coretta Scott King on the Senate floor. Nevertheless, she persisted.
Right about now, being the analogue to Mitch McConnell in a story is just about the worst conceivable place to find yourself. These control freaks who insist on shutting out whatever they find disagreeable must be very fearful that their points of view can’t stand up on their own merits. Who’s the snowflake here? Such projection.
If you aren’t following this on Facebook, there is absolutely no way the Frederick News Post is doing the Hatfields versus the Hatfields scene adequate justice. We’re here to tell you, local politics is where it’s at.
Your Lady Yokels are not so much into the whole football thing. We do, however, enjoy the commercials and half time show. Lady Gaga brought down the house with her choice of songs. And she seems to have tricked a whole bunch of people into thinking she did not make a statement. Well, let’s get those of y’all who think she didn’t get political a clue. Whenever anyone chooses to sing This Land is My Land, they are making a statement. Here’s a list of our most favorite commercials:
Airbnb’s co-founder’s personally edited this commercial. Take a look if you missed it.
For at least 40 years now, Coca-Cola has been at the forefront of inclusive advertising. So it should come as no surprise that they would step up their game this year. Here’s a link in case you had to make a beer run.
Never in a million trillion years would we have expected such a thing from 84 Lumber. Of course, we had to wait awhile since their server crashed with everyone scrambling to see the end. All because FOX, who thinks it’s all fine and dandy to broadcast the Orange Menace morally equating The United States with Russia, thought it “too controversial.”
Guess what peeps?! Unless you are 100% Native American your ancestors came from somewhere else! It’s true, look it up! This commercial nicely illustrates the journey of one such young immigrant looking to make a name for himself in the New World.
Now who do you think it going to ruin all these nice commercials for us? Who possesses that uncanny ability to mess up the good vibes?
Jeeze O’ Flip Kirby why do have to be so terrible all the freaking time? Can’t you just give it a rest for one damn day? Oh, this really burns us up…we need some comic relief….STAT!
After we’ve been honing our skills covering the nutty as fruitcake shenanigans of our local dingdongs, most particularly Shrelauter and their cuckoo cruise director (that would be former Commissioner and one time pseudogubernatorial candidate Blaine Young, in case you’re new around here), your locals are beginning to wonder if we could not be of better service to our fellow citizens by getting ourselves into the White House Press Corps.
We started to hear noise about tossing out the traditional media and adding a bunch of yahoos who don’t even bother to retract falsifications. This job sounds easy-peasy (not that that’s really our style–if we screw up, we’ll be the first to admit it). But, doesn’t that take the pressure off? Now that the executive branch of the United States seems local level loony, there are really no longer standards of decorum to adhere to at all. We’ve already been primed for this, so we should really have a chance to give it a go.
Of course, we would need to go incognito, because we mostly hate people. We don’t really want to walk among the teeming masses a lot of the time, so we try to stay in the shadows. That Guy Fawkes mask is already taken. How would we dress? Scream mask seems appropriate. We know we’re adversarial, but being freakishly conspicuous, plus adopting ridiculous and campy schtick really could be an asset to the presidential ratings gameshow. Hello Kellyanne playbook, we saw your goofy but oxymoronic Georgian England American inaugural outfit!
And now we’re getting all “intersectional” with Cam Harris tying our area to the national but artificial news (or alternative facts or whatever the crock we’re calling doublespeak now). The icing on the cake was learning that Trumpkin’s propaganda minister has had a five year long spat with Dippin’ Dots for no discernible reason, and this nugget alone is reason to suspect that our talents could definitely be put to use on a larger platform. Probably we’ve said too many critical things already and therefore we are bad fake news and not good alternative facts. Sad!