We had a scare earlier today when Katherine Heerbrandt’s report in the Frederick Extra seemed to allude to Frederick County’s worst sex exercise addicted buffoon. Running. For. Mayor.

And then we died. Laughing.

If he was emboldened by Trump, we have a newsflash for him. Trump did not win the cities. Have you seen that Swiss cheese looking map of what it would look like if we divided into two nations, and all the holes are the urban areas? Have you seen the shaded map of how people voted in Frederick County?

You know, come to think of it, Trump didn’t even win the nation by like 2 and a half million votes or some such. If it weren’t for being given a couple of laps head start via the electoral college, it wouldn’t have happened for him either. The mayor of Frederick is not elected according to weird customs puzzling the rest of the world, which result from banging out a compromise in the 18th century between plantation states and the Northeast.

Look, Trump Lite with Highlights, it ain’t happening. But thanks for all the chuckles. Now go away!