We are going to go ahead and close our latest poll. Now we know none of our answers were right! Poor Billy just wanted to sound off on someone who sounds like they were *GASP* doing their job. We know that is oh, so, hard for poor Billy to grasp. Some people take their responsibilities seriously. Thanks for playing! That was fun.
Don’t worry. The Ouija Board will be back to play again soon.
From the #SAD teardrop flow chart to Tuesday night’s council member comments!, Kirby keeps reminding us to follow the money. He loves to throw around catchy sayings such as: “Everything’s for sale around here!” and “Gotta pay to play!” He also listed off a bunch of “suspicious” campaign donations that Jan has received. M.C. warned him that he may regret getting into the game of listing off campaign donations and to that we say: Oh we hope so! Here’s a sampling of donations that Kirby has received since 2014. Feel free to explore the list yourself at Maryland’s campaign finance website.
Council member comments are now up and running as a part of the February 7th meeting. We’ve been speculating wildly as to what the hell Billy did to cause the county AV department to have to go into full editing mode. The mystery has been solved:
Billy claims that we have a rogue inspector roaming through the county randomly inspecting businesses! And this very naughty inspector is costing these businesses, which have been cited for violations, tens of thousands of dollars!!! Billy says that this individual, that he NAMES out LOUD, is “out of control!” He needs to be stopped! Billy is called out by both Bud and the county attorney for disparaging a county employee by name in a public forum, to which Billy screams, “Strike that from the record.” We know someone we would like to strike from our county government.
Billy is also very agitated that while he was out globe trotting, the council would not allow him to conference call in concerning the MTC. To him it is “sad that we have a government that operates this way.” One cannot help but wonder if this call was to take place while he was soaking up the rays with Blaine in Costa Rica. Nevertheless, Billy really hopes that there are some serious repercussions!
Kirby is also worth mentioning if for nothing else, his wild conspiracy theories.
First off, now Kirby’s not accusing anyone mind you, BUT if county employees are aware of the bargain basement price some of the county machines are being auctioned off at..well ya know they could grab them up and then sell them off for a pretty penny!! Let’s be clear though, he is NOT aware of ANYONE doing such a thing. But hey, what if? It’s very interesting to him.
Next on the conspiracy ticker, Jan Gardner. Did you people know that for as little as $50 you could get yourself a seat on the Planning Commission? Everything, and he means EVERYTHING is for sale around here! “Gotta pay to play”! Kirby then starts ticking off some donations that Jan received and guess what? We are looking Kirby’s up as well! If he wants to start the donation listing game we will be more than glad to participate! What set Kirby off on the donation trail? Well, Michael Hough’s last minute ethics bill. You know the one that was submitted on February 1st with a February 3rd turn around date? Not the ethics bill that was properly vetted by the public, just something Hough scratched down last minute. If you are asking how Kirby found out that Jan was so unethical, you need look no further than our frenemy Red Maryland. That’s right a blog just like our own!(Come on Kirby, where’s the love? Don’t we get a mention?) Too bad that we couldn’t see Billy’s face when Kirby brought them up because man oh man they don’t like the Shreve!
As usual, the other council members had positive things to report, along with the unenviable job of telling us why everything that came out of Shrelauter’s collective jaw is so very wrong indeed. And for that, we thank them!
What has happened? We looked into our crystal ball and told you that Council Member Comments is where it hits the fan. And so it seems. If you know more, do tell!
In other must-see TV news, the Young family (who, if you’re new here, straddles both sides of the political aisle–can you imagine Thanksgiving?) is having a nuclear Family Feud on Facebook. These people are awesome. Our own version of The Young and the Restless. The drama is Aaron Spelling worthy, and you will never in a million years guess why this mushroom cloud has been cast over the community…
It seems that State Senator Michael Hough is in a huff because Delegate Karen Young introduced some legislation without his blessing. Allowing the student representative on the BOE to occasionally (seemingly almost never meet all the conditions required for it to actually occur) vote on BOE decisions. Oh la la. You’d think she tried to read a letter from Coretta Scott King on the Senate floor. Nevertheless, she persisted.
Right about now, being the analogue to Mitch McConnell in a story is just about the worst conceivable place to find yourself. These control freaks who insist on shutting out whatever they find disagreeable must be very fearful that their points of view can’t stand up on their own merits. Who’s the snowflake here? Such projection.
If you aren’t following this on Facebook, there is absolutely no way the Frederick News Post is doing the Hatfields versus the Hatfields scene adequate justice. We’re here to tell you, local politics is where it’s at.
So FredCo’s archives do not yet include lasterday’s meeting, and we can only update you kind folks on the parts we caught. That doesn’t include council member comments, and the regulars will know that’s where things consistently go off the rails.
Now that the custom is to just make up whatheheckever you might want reality to have been anyway, we don’t even know why we should bother looking for the rest later, TBH. We always joke on the sidelines that we could pretty much predict what is going to happen without watching and that we should try it out sometime and see how it compares.
What did happen while we were juggling parenting and citizenshipping? There was a discussion about establishing procedures for rezoning application hearings that sounded like some good stuff for the people. Billy was adversarial. If Billy is reading this, adversarial means acting like a teenage boy does when his parents tell him he can’t drink beer and ride dirt bikes on a school night. What ever in the world would be wrong with just offering constructive criticism?
Tony Chmelik tried to reason through it for him for a second, and Jessica Fitzwater explained that some stuff he didn’t like was exactly as it had been done during his tenure on the BOCC. Pretty regular stuff. We would go back and review it and tell you which part exactly, but maybe later. Or not. We’re unpaid writers. You’re lucky we don’t move to Macedonia and put some teenagers out of work, at this point. Our patience is wearing thin with reality, anyway.
Speaking of which, that’s the other part we caught, after the break. A lot of people came to talk about M.C. Keegan-Ayer’s legislation for permitting solar collection on farmland. Everyone seemed to like the idea in some form, but there were many suggestions about how to improve what was written. None of the public commenters behaved the way some of our council members do on a regular basis. Perhaps one of these kind folks could unseat Billy in the next election.
We thought Billy had a visual aid and we were super looking forward to that. Maybe it happened in the negative space here. Or maybe it was emasculated by M.C.’s two large and colorful ones with easels. Who can say?
Your Lady Yokels are not so much into the whole football thing. We do, however, enjoy the commercials and half time show. Lady Gaga brought down the house with her choice of songs. And she seems to have tricked a whole bunch of people into thinking she did not make a statement. Well, let’s get those of y’all who think she didn’t get political a clue. Whenever anyone chooses to sing This Land is My Land, they are making a statement. Here’s a list of our most favorite commercials:
Airbnb’s co-founder’s personally edited this commercial. Take a look if you missed it.
For at least 40 years now, Coca-Cola has been at the forefront of inclusive advertising. So it should come as no surprise that they would step up their game this year. Here’s a link in case you had to make a beer run.
Never in a million trillion years would we have expected such a thing from 84 Lumber. Of course, we had to wait awhile since their server crashed with everyone scrambling to see the end. All because FOX, who thinks it’s all fine and dandy to broadcast the Orange Menace morally equating The United States with Russia, thought it “too controversial.”
Guess what peeps?! Unless you are 100% Native American your ancestors came from somewhere else! It’s true, look it up! This commercial nicely illustrates the journey of one such young immigrant looking to make a name for himself in the New World.
Now who do you think it going to ruin all these nice commercials for us? Who possesses that uncanny ability to mess up the good vibes?
Jeeze O’ Flip Kirby why do have to be so terrible all the freaking time? Can’t you just give it a rest for one damn day? Oh, this really burns us up…we need some comic relief….STAT!
It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a council meeting, but now we are back and raring to go! Hopefully Kirby will bring his tear-shaped flow chart for us to behold. This week we are doing a drinking game bingo. We noticed that our favorite FNP poet, Armillary, requested that we do so. So in honor of all his clever limericks, grab your agenda, pick your poison and be responsible!
Our own local social media crackerjack is re-hashing some old business:
First of all, since when is he all for paying teachers more?!?! Does he think we all have amnesia or something? BECAUSE OH NO KIRBY WE DO NOT! We all remember your years on the BOCC when you refused to fund FCPS above MOE. And we know that when you don’t fund above MOE then there are no raises to be had! He also bragged about how he, if elected to the council and appointed liaison to FCPS, would point out how the school system could do more with less every step of the way! So please, spare us the b.s. that you are all for raising teacher’s pay.
Most of us know not to engage Kirby on his false equivalency concerning his not getting county contracts and Jessica and Jerry voting on a budget that includes money that will go to the school system. He appears to have some newbies and fellow dead horse beaters egging him on his comment section. But first, ICYMI, here’s one of the first graphics your Lady Yokels ever used that succinctly displays the difference between Kirby getting county contracts and Jerry and Jessica voting on the county budget:
Well, as is often the case, Kirby makes it all so much worse in the comments. First let’s go ahead and bash the guy we sit right next to during council meetings:
Hear that Jerry? Kirby plays the tiniest violin in the world whenever you try to explain to him….well probably anything. Save your breath from now on Council Member Donald, tis not worth it! Now he has some thoughts on the corruption of the County Attorney……
His next comment is in response to another person saying they would DEMAND answers as to why teachers can vote on the budget:
Oh the unholy corruption!!!! Come on Kirby take some pictures of these pick up paper basketball games! We would ALL love to see that! And finally….
That’s right folks, the most dishonest people inhabit the walls of Winchester Hall. The MOST. We think someone doth protest too much! Perhaps this is some kind of projection he’s using. For don’t we often find those traits most abhorrent in others that we hate within ourselves? Kirby, you may not realize that you need to do this, but you really need to apologize to pretty much everyone you work with on the council. This kind of talk is not only rude, immature, vengeful and well just plain stupid. But, it isn’t very conducive to having any kind of functional government.
This is just the sort of plan you would idealize if you were a Frederick County resident who would pack up a cooler with whiskey sours in the middle of a Nor’Easter/Hurricane Sandy climate change cocktail event, make a raft like Huckleberry Finn, and set sail to the Walmart 5 miles downstream. We have the best people in Frederick County. Amazing people.
These are the stories we need to reflect on, because we would otherwise lose our minds. It takes all kinds, after all. Someone has to keep us entertained, come hell or high water (or both, as the likely case may be).
The resource protection area was eliminated from the plan, because of property rights. This will help ensure that Frederick County folks can pretend we have a Willy Wonka style chocolate river whenever it rains. This is a great plan. The best plan. If not for this version of the plan, we would start having clear water run in the river when it rains, and these people’s private property wouldn’t wash away in the water, and deposit sediment that can disrupt the flow of the public’s waterway. Boring. Sad.
We will have a river for people who are in for a world of pure imagination–you know, like the gentlemen mentioned above.
Sigh.
frederick local yokel 