Monocacy River resource protection plan “upgraded”

This is just the sort of plan you would idealize if you were a Frederick County resident who would pack up a cooler with whiskey sours in the middle of a Nor’Easter/Hurricane Sandy climate change cocktail event, make a raft like Huckleberry Finn, and set sail to the Walmart 5 miles downstream. We have the best people in Frederick County. Amazing people.

These are the stories we need to reflect on, because we would otherwise lose our minds. It takes all kinds, after all. Someone has to keep us entertained, come hell or high water (or both, as the likely case may be).

The resource protection area was eliminated from the plan, because of property rights. This will help ensure that Frederick County folks can pretend we have a Willy Wonka style chocolate river whenever it rains. This is a great plan. The best plan. If not for this version of the plan, we would start having clear water run in the river when it rains, and these people’s private property wouldn’t wash away in the water, and deposit sediment that can disrupt the flow of the public’s waterway. Boring. Sad.

Something about not understanding erosion, prior experience with tobacco farming, or the historical changes to the state of Maryland this type of ignorance has already caused–by inexperience at the time, but we should know better now. Much like The Greatest OompaLoompa of All, some people need more fourth grade social studies…

We will have a river for people who are in for a world of pure imagination–you know, like the gentlemen mentioned above.