A Tale of Two Counties…Your May 17th meeting rundown.

May 17, 2016May 18, 2016 fclocalyokel5 Comments

We’ve finally figured it out readers! We are living in an alternative reality than Shrelauter and, on occasion, Tony. It’s the only way this all makes any sense.

First let’s thank Baby Fitzwater for allowing his/her mommy to be in attendance during this very important meeting. Without her there…shiver…we don’t even want to think what would have happened.

Tony starts off the meeting trying to get the 6th item pulled off the agenda and wants to have clarification over what is a budget transfer and what is a supplemental appropriation.

On a side note-Kirby is saying yes instead of aye now. He used to say aye, but now he’s adopted Billy’s idiotic manner of using yes. Isn’t he such a brave rebel?

After Billy predictably votes against approving past meeting minutes, we are off on a discussion on bond offerings. There will be two bond series, A and B. A will pay for government projects such as schools, roads and other improvements. B is a refinance on the note that was taken out three years ago to pay for Montevue/Citizens nursing home. And hey, we think we’ve found Billy’s Pavlovian response. Because holy hell, he won’t let it go. He has to be told by two separate people that this is to simply refinance a note that needs to be paid off, but he wants to know everything about the nursing homes right this very second. Tony gets confused about debt financing debt, which is not what this is. And it’s never easy for our county employees is it?

Now, brace yourself because it’s time to vote on the budget and capital improvement projects. Tony is right out of the gate with his: I’m very sorry but I cannot vote on this budget. Next it’s time for Kirby.

Well Yokels, we knew we wouldn’t get out of this one unscathed. It is ridiculous to Kirby that the council only cut out $210,000 from this budget. It should have been more! And did you know the county council members are just cookie cutters to the County Executive’s budget (drink!)? Of course, and let’s not forget that Kirby believes they are giving the impression that they are handling this with the savoir-faire of drunken sailors, as well.

You didn’t think he was going to let this time go without pointing out that Jessica and Jerry vote on their salaries did you?

Jerry is the star of this evening.

It's so very hard, we feel for you Mr. Donald. — It’s so very hard, we feel for you Mr. Donald.

Jerry sees this as a teachable moment. Too bad his students are Billy and Kirby. He reminds them if they actually met with department heads and sat down with the County Executive then maybe, just maybe, they would have seen more of what they wanted in the budget. After all, the time for negotiation is before the budget is written. Jerry pointed out that Kirby wanted to pull $1 million from the education budget.* To which Kirby sarcastically replies, “The children will suffer.” He then points out that the former BOCC actually raised taxes which elicits a bait and switch comment from Kirby. Jerry then has to point out that Kirby does not know what bait and switch means (kinda like Billy doesn’t understand what a wedding crasher is). There are some more words exchanged which made your Yokel ladies wonder if there will be a fist fight later on.

Jessica adds that she will not cut the budget just for the sake of cutting. The community and department heads said they wanted to see these things in the budget, and that is what is happening. You hear that Shrelauter?! Pay better attention next year! You don’t get to pretend you did something just because you attempt to cut a million things out of the budget after the fact! Bud ends this portion of the meeting with: “We’ve had a good discussion, well we’ve had a discussion. Let’s vote” Passes 4-3.

Tax rate stays at $1.06. All except two appointments pass with 7-0, Shreve being the only hold out on two. He probably blocked them on Twitter like he did to us as well. Animal control bequest goes off without a hitch and then we have our historical designation hearing on Glenellen Farm. We had a very nice presentation about the history of this property and Lady Thompson’s school that once existed there. This will be voted on at the next meeting. Public comment is one guy that Kirby gave a sheet to read from and then it’s time for council member comments.

Shade Trees and Evergreens is the popular theme this evening.

Kirby starts off the talk with how the county has ruined these poor people’s lives. But hey he’s also not saying that people should go out and do whatever they want. Then again if they’ve gotten away with it for 10 years, then it’s fine. Since they weren’t caught, it gives them immunity, right? But even though they were in the wrong the county shouldn’t bring the hammer down on them. The county is a train wreck. A train wreck he says! Making businesses follow the rules is running them out of the county.

Billy is so very sorry about the tax increase, folks! And the county is targeting the wedding venues. That’s right! Targeting them. Since the fire marshal has not produced any papers for Billy, Jan is a liar. And we just have to wait for the rest of this to come out!

Tony also insinuates that Jan is lying about the fire marshal. His solution? Let the venue operate until the end of the year, don’t let them use the bathrooms, and then close them down and fine the Dickens out of them!

M.C. is the first voice of reason on this subject. She wants to know if her fellow council members are really advocating for businesses to not follow the proper procedures. After all, this particular business had been warned and did nothing to correct the situation. And she is getting calls from legitimate businesses who are upset that the three amigos are advocating for a business that is run by people who thought they were above the law. She hopes that there aren’t two separate set of laws in this county.

Bud finishes off this discussion by informing us that he saw some evidence that they haven’t even had their gas lines inspected. So we are talking about a possible explosion here folks.

Bud says it doesn’t matter if nothing has happened in the past, that doesn’t excuse them. And if anything were to happen in the future shame on them all! Why can’t they see this? What is the matter with these three? Leave your diagnosis in the comments!

Frederick County politics strikes again.

* This is a correction. The county council did not take $1 million from the education budget as was previously noted. Jerry was pointing out to Kirby that his budget took $1 million dollars away from the schools. Your lady Yokels apologize for any confusion.

From the mixed up files of Billy Delauter

May 14, 2016 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

You didn’t think there wouldn’t be a new nugget of nonsense from the asshat faction today, did you? That would be positively unthinkable. Remember when we said Cindy Rose should keep her crazy tucked in? Guess what. You, too, you two. What fresh hell have they delivered unto us, on a public platform, for today’s point and laugh session?

There's some childhood saying about rubber and glue that used to seem kind of silly, but now maybe it looks like 8 year olds have a point. — There’s some childhood saying about rubber and glue that used to seem kind of silly, but now maybe it looks like 8 year olds have a point. We are sure it is not CE Garner who is the one experiencing the confusion.

And we would like to give a big Tip o’ the Hat to Dan Patrell for his forthright delivery of a small dose of reality. One or two of us may have laughed so hard that we fell off the couch when we read this:

Thank you, good sir. Thank you. — Well done, good sir. Thank you.

Also, guess who has chimed in. So glad he moved on with his life. He has the strangest ways of reinventing himself.

How does what he said make any sense? “The rules should be fair to all.” How is it fair to have one business who follows all the rules and one that does not, but has two council members bending backwards on their behalf? Stop being awful!

In point of fact, zoning laws are so your neighbors have some sort of say in what you are doing with the property next door to theirs, since it also affects their property value. Maybe Lady Yokels don’t want The Best Little Whorehouse sprouting up overnight on the property next-door, built of cow dung bricks and lighted with kerosene, regardless of your personal tastes. Just shut up already.

Stigginit to your bridal customers

May 13, 2016 fclocalyokel3 Comments

Your Yokel former brides read this story in the FNP this morning. It’s about Shrelauters BFFs at the tree farm/illicit wedding business. Even though the county has tried to be sensitive to the engaged couples, their families, and their friends, who may have planned to come attend a wedding, the business has yet to apply for the temporary permits they could be granted in order to keep the scheduled weddings. Is this over a philosophical disagreement of some kind?

Time keeps on ticking ticking ticking…into the future. So it’s looking less and less like they are going to get their act together. This is really pretty outrageous, and why Shrelauter decided to pick a fight to defend this particular “upstanding” business is an ongoing enigma. Looking like basic dimwits, per usual. Also, probably all this attention is not really doing their dopey BFFs any favors in the marketing department.

It's all that matters. — It’s all that matters.

The Shrubbery Farm Wedding of Your Dreams’ event coordinators aren’t answering the phone for the FNP reporter, so we won’t bother calling for comment. Aside: we’re joking. You know that right? We don’t call for comments, which is why you still have to subscribe to a local newspaper if you want to have an unsnarkified and objective account of what is happening in Frederick County politics. We will always bend over backwards at any opportunity to reignite a conversation with the main idea being what a public embarrassment Billy Shreve and Kirby Delauter are. Apparently they are determined to make sure we can say something about it. Every. Single. Day.

Legislatin’ Facebook Style!!

May 8, 2016May 9, 2016 fclocalyokel2 Comments

We’ve brought you two posts already about Kirby’s threat to run for County Executive due to the “unfriendly” business practices of the current administration. Turns out the businesses in question were not only operating without the required permits, but in the case of one, the Fire Marshall said, “No way, no how!” So Kirby’s been forced to send decrees through Facebook. In this first one, he’s told said business to ignore the county’s order:

Who is acting like the Pharaoh of Frederick County now?

According to The Frederick News Post story on this issue, here’s the reason one of the businesses was shut down:

Caboose Farm, near Sabillasville, was also prohibited from hosting events after getting a notice in March of similar permit and zoning violations, owner Peter Fedak said.

The business did not have building permits or inspections for improvements made to the property. Caboose Farm also violated the zoning ordinance, according to a March 2 citation warning notice from the Frederick County Division of Planning and Permitting.

Kirby then went on to accuse the County Executive of having a vendetta against county businesses. Even going so far as insinuating that maybe, just maybe this was some kind of political retribution. What is the logic when a business knowingly does not follow the law for close to a decade that they are somehow the victim? Let’s explore this topic further. First another excerpt from the FNP:

Gardner, however, said permit and zoning violations arose because of complaints, and not at her direction.

“This is not something that the county is doing,” she said. “People individually have not followed the required process.”

Gardner said county officials worked with Shade Trees & Evergreens to let the business continue holding events as it worked on compliance, but could not allow this weekend’s events due to concerns by the fire marshal about public safety.

“The reason why people have to have these uses and these permits is to ensure public welfare and public safety,” she said.

And….

However, the county fire marshal was opposed, since the buildings and the septic system had never been inspected. Laxton said county officials denied the temporary permit. All planned events were canceled.

But Billy sees nothing afoul in this. As long as nothing bad has happen thus far, what’s the prob peeps?:

Councilman Billy Shreve said that since Shade Trees & Evergreens has run events for 10 years without problems, it should be allowed to continue during the permitting process.

“The county should go out and say, ‘We found these issues. We want to work with you to get you into compliance,’” Shreve said. “Absolutely, he should be allowed to stay open when he comes into compliance. That’s the way the county’s done it in the past.”

So they’ve been breaking the law for 10 years and nothing bad has happened so let’s let them continue! What if, Mr. Shreve, something bad did happen. Something along the lines of this?

Station Night Club Memorial, Taken By: Joe Webster (www.joewebster.net)

Then we are oh so sure the rhetoric would be how very incompetent Jan is for allowing an uninspected, out of zone business to operate. Don’t pretend any differently, Billy and Kirby.

We like to explore the comment section of the FNP. And on this very article we found a very nice comment from former BOCC member Lenny Thompson:

That’s right, these investigations are complaint driven. And we do hope it was from a business that followed all the proper procedures, because how unfair is that? Can you imagine doing every thing that you were supposed to do, paying all your fees, getting all your inspections and then being undersold by someone who didn’t bother? And then on top of that have your local County Council member go to bat for them just because they are looking for any and all opportunities to try and embarrass the County Executive? We would be infuriated! We are infuriated!

Next on the Internets, Dave Schmidt host of Frederick’s Forum posted this wonderfully articulate analysis of the situation:

We couldn’t agree more! If you don’t like a certain procedure or ordinance then you lobby for a change. You don’t get to pick and choose what you want to follow and then act all outraged when you get caught! The logic Kirby and Billy are using to defend circumventing county codes and ordinances is just mind boggling. What in tarnation is the meaning behind arguing, “If nothing happens, it’s fine?” (And again, if something does, presumably that would also be Jan’s fault…damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t with these types.) Are we supposed to all place our children in a situation where they are the guinea pigs in the experiment to determine if the free market is successfully ensuring their safety. If they literally Die In A Fire, with the next kid, we won’t let them go to their prom if it is going to be held at the Regulation Free Prom Farm & Inn. Furthermore, what kind of county are we living in where our elected officials are encouraging businesses to not only ignore the rules, but to blatantly defy them? Kirby made these two replies to Dave’s post:

Did Dave run against Kirby? I don’t think so.

The fiscally conservative dog and pony show

May 4, 2016 fclocalyokel2 Comments

dog-pony — Hold on for a wild ride to nowhere!

Well, folks, we have been digesting The Fearsome Budget Workshop of 2016 in fits and starts. A four hour long posturing about all the ways we can trim the fat off of the budget. This consists of 3 proposed budget amendments by Tony Chmelik and a whopping 18 by Kirby Delauter, few of which make any sense at all, so we will have to beg your forgiveness for not describing all of the nonsense in great detail. Further confusion ensued when Kirby tried to start with amendment #7, but we digress…

Tony Chmelik talked about how we shouldn’t pay our county employees real well because they have job security. It’s a head scratcher folks. A whole passel of em didn’t feel real secure in their jobs during the reign of terror that was our ultimate BOCC. Surely you recall? Plus also, why should we worry about attracting the most talented people to come work for us in the public sector? It would be better if it is just a crapshoot, right?

He and Kirby both have some ideas that involve it not really mattering a whole lot if some people are overworked because of layoffs and attrition, because who cares if county business is efficient. We guess. It’s hard to follow. They do and don’t want an attorney, because Chomel is good but he is busy, at least according to the people who have needed to consult him to write legislation. M.C. Keegan-Ayer directed some such remark at petulant Billy. Ya burnt!

One of the agencies that our dimwits are keen to starve is the Office of Economic Development and their FITC program (Frederick Innovative Technology Center–FITC rhymes with Mitzi, FYI). You know, the agency that promotes business development in the biotech industry, which is kind of good for the local economy (who’s gonna buy all them houses you like seeing built, boyzzzzz?). These are the most confusing Republicans. One almost suspects that they are kidding and just anticipate that Bud Otis will not let them shoot themselves and everyone else in the feet, and then they can be “fiscally conservative” while he votes responsibly to save everyone’s hide (keep this in mind in the upcoming national election when you think you will write in Ralph Nader or some analogous dreamboat, mkay?). Then they can tar and feather him for being insufficiently ~~stupid~~ partisan.

Chmelik rails against holding money in an account in order to move toward upgrading our bond rating. Because, again, that’s fiscally conservative. Somehow. We feel all crazy inside. Also, he rails against it, but then votes in opposition to the amendment that would take that money out and either spend it or give it back to everyone with a letter that they can go out to dinner now, because…reasons. Oh, right, he likes to be a longwinded loudmouth about his shrink the government philosophy even when he knows perfectly well it is not making a dang ol bit of sense.

They both also have some ideas that involve not holding up our ends of a bargain (or also not upholding the law, if you want to just hang on a bit until we drown so much government in the bathtub that we become Flint, MI). Chmelik objects to replacing grant money from the state that was used in violation of the terms of the grant, and then also meeting the terms of that grant. Doing so includes a matching fund from the county, and he behaves as though this is all just a ruse to pay for the same thing twice.

But the icing on that crazy cake was when our three teapublicans get clarification that they are indeed functioning on a shoestring with regard to clean water legislation. This is permitted while they work out their differences in a circuit court proceeding. Any further reduction in compliance with the Clean Water Act means tens of thousands of dollars every day in punitive fines to both the federal and state governments, and potential prison sentences. “Oh well,” they decide. It’s a waste of cash because you can’t even see the clean drinking water you get, like you can see a road. No, we are not making ANY of this up. And “Heh heh heh,” Kirby decides let’s just hold that million dollars to the side for bail money.” Sooooo save nothing and maybe end up in jail? Cool. How do you sign up for that? Forget drowning the government. These idiots are so stupid it’s a wonder they can drink a glass of water and survive the experience.

We do hope the Boy Scouts in attendance had already been whisked away home last night before they got to witness that.

Stay tuned for more on last night’s performances…

Are there really people against curb ramps? Your May 3rd county council drinking game.

May 3, 2016 fclocalyokel3 Comments

FB_IMG_1461971767337 — It’s good to have goals!

The pollen must be getting to your friendly Yokels because we are all so tired of this budget nonsense. And tonight’s agenda looks as though we are in for more of it! Even though Councilman Billy Shreve is now a friend of the Yokel, don’t count on him picking you up, “comrades.” So take it easy and be responsible!

Seven budget transfers on the agenda, including one for the BOE (oh dear!), if anyone states an unrelated objection, since it is the fashion to grandstand lately, sip heartily on your Seven and Seven.

Time to approve the past minutes. Always a mystery as to why Billy won’t vote to approve. He was there, at least physically, what’s the prob? When he says no, pick your favorite flavor of Absolut vodka and have a shot or two. Because we are absolutely sick of his antics.

Also amongst the business items for decision: council procedure. Again we are in Billy dream fugue territory, and as there is no chance of an affirmative action allowing to hear from him at absolutely any given time during a meeting (Why does it even matter? He does that anyway.) He will probably be testy. We must recommend the Lucid absinthe.

And the budget is up, and at the last convocation of this august body we heard Kirby had a self-described half-baked plan. Surely that is a smoldering pile by now. We look forward to these ideas.

You know how we are, locals. Always stalking the inter webs where some of our most favorite fools publicly post whatever idiot notion lights up their shriveled little raisin brains. Well, we have an inkling that one of the more colorful fools about town might have something negative to say about wheelchair ramps! It is truly difficult to see where some of these characters are coming from, but we do hope he will try to explain. And without slurring any words, please! So if our suspicions are true and there is really uproar over handicap ramps, mix up a Sit on My Face cocktail, since that will be preferable to listening to that!

It’s time for a hearing to keep the tax rate static, or according to the usual suspects, It’s tax hike time!!!” We heard this same exact argument this time last year. And we are oh so sure the same exact refuted points will once again rear their ugly head. So every time Jan is accused of being a tax and spender have a sip of the Promise Land. Hopefully one day we will be there.

Hopefully you have a good enough buzz to help you through the public and council member comments. Don’t you love budget time in Olde Fredericktowne?

Brace yourself: Billy’s shenanigans are coming.

April 26, 2016 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

Well, maybe not the best. But at least it sure makes Billy whine. — Well, maybe not the best. But it sure makes Billy whine.

Oh Yokels, we cannot begin to convey to you how torturous it is listen to a budget meeting populated by Tea Partiers whose very mission is to dismantle it. But we did…you’re welcome!

The beginning of our meeting tonight was a presentation by County Attorney Mathias over amendments to the charter. Some dates…The council must have any proposed changes in by July 29th, as well as any petitions from the public. The changes will then go on the November ballot to be voted aye or nay by the public. Now Billy has been getting tons of calls (we know Billy loves taking your calls) from the public asking how to get the old BOCC system back. Now he’s just asking questions folks! He wants to know how many signatures and just how quickly the charter system will be thrown out. Because sure, let’s give up after less than two years. Quitter.

So Yokels, now we are going to have to be on the look out for this petition. Because we just know it’s going to happen.

So on to the budget amendments. Three hours worth, and they had to cut it short.

Kirby goes off on the amount of time they have to review the budget. M.C. agrees and almost makes his head explode. However, they are constrained by the charter and the timeline within. Therefore, make an amendment to the charter for this November. We are reasonable folks, Kirby. We’ll give that to ya!

Tony doesn’t like to create jobs. Questions many, many new positions. It gets quite tiresome. But the creme de la creme was his suggestion to remove $4.5 million to the BOE to teach them a lesson. He wants to “hold their feet to the fire” on the issue of teacher salaries. He reasons if we take the money away but hold it in some little secret bunker they will be forced to deal with this. Seems to us that they’ve been wanting to do that but some old BOCC wouldn’t give them the funding. Is this really about keeping the MOE number down? We think so. Doesn’t pass, which Tony admits he knew would happen. Budget director also has to warn him of unintended consequences of such an act. 20 minutes wasted.

Even though there is a clear process for a non profit to get money from the county (they have to fill out forms and be investigated), Tony still feels like we are picking the winners and losers. Kirby will write you a check. Well, unless you are a local high school football team, but he doesn’t want to force others to. Then, M.C. comes to the rescue about how government should help those less fortunate. Doesn’t fit into their worldview though.

More quibbling over that timeline, because Kirby has many (according to Billy, anyway, there will be many–possibly substantive–budget amendments). But, Kirby is late with his budget amendment homework because what he was scribbling on probably blew away when he was peen’ in the side yard. That was a half baked version (his own words–yep–he’s just got a “half baked” thing). Of course, there was no time to think on this, because that charter that Blaine needed is very tricky. So, again, in his own words, he’s just gonna send em in a e-mail. Does anyone remember Kirby’s nonsense budget last budgeting season? Because this feels a lot like that, but it is due by noon on Thursday. But not if its substantive.

If there is any question at all in anyone’s mind that the basic approach of certain partisans is to absolutely destroy a functioning government so that they can sit back and watch it burn (and then tell you what a clusternut the whole thing is) it would really behoove said skeptic to watch a local government function that incorporates the input of two or so Tea Party jesters.

New fun time: Council meeting bingo

April 19, 2016 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

We thought we’d mix it up a little this week. Here’s your agenda. In case you do feel compelled to drink at any point, we’ll recommend you toss back an Alien Secretion and encourage Xenu to scamper on outta here.

Screen Shot 2016-04-18 at 10.41.11 PM — Click on image to open in a separate tab for printing!

Workshops shouldn’t be this painful-April 12 County Council edition

April 13, 2016 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

As we let you know yesterday there was a county council workshop to discuss two land use issues. We can say this: Billy and Kirby do not like it when old BOCC business is criticized. Even when given something like a million explanations as to why something should go they steadfastly refuse to do so. Have to admire their tenacity. Or not.

First off, kudos once again to our county workers. It must be the bane of their existence to have to come before the council and try to explain things to a couple of these fellas. A few of the presenters tonight seem to have had it with Billy and Kirby, as has the FNP. In the article describing yesterday’s meeting there was no mention of their behavior. How dare the FNP not report upon their hissy fits? This upset Billy and Kirby so much that this had to happen:

Not at all accurate people! — Not at all accurate, people!

Oh don't worry Billy. We watched and we decided. — Oh don’t worry Billy. We watched and we decided.

So let’s deal with the Agricultural bit first. County staff has met with the State over the issue concerning our lost Tier IV Exemption status. The State, in turn, gave four options the county could utilize to remedy the situation. County staff has weighed the pros and cons of each option and decided the best one one was to repeal the ARTO. Here’s the rationale:

Well, Kirby, Billy and Tony want to have their own meeting with the State. Some nonsense about how “they can work things out”. Isn’t that what the staff’s job is? Not one of them gives any good reason as to why this ordinance should stand. Not a one. Kirby, at one point, concedes that he is not an expert on this subject. However, its not enough to make him stop arguing.

Sorry, Marmalade, we need a better reason that that.

Then it was off to the second item of business. Reinstating the old APFO process. Our poor, downtrodden county employee, Jim, explained very thoroughly how this new process , passed in 2012, helped no one in any way shape or form. Jim even went as far to suggest that perhaps the BOCC made this change because they were concerned that the make up of the Planning Commission at that time would not be friendly to some of the projects that were proposed. Billy had some sarcastic comments, but as usual, nothing of substance to back his arguments.

Being a workshop, there’s still more discussion to be had. One final question though: If Billy votes no to going into a closed session does that mean the rest of the council can lock him out? Please say yes!

The path back to power is long and rambling.

March 18, 2016 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

Man, how bad is it when even Donald Trump doesn't like you? — Man, how bad is it when even Donald Trump wants to distance himself from you?!

Yokels, if you’ve been with us from the beginning you know that Blaine Young is the reason that we started this little blog. As we read his letter to the FNP entitled:

Blaine Young: ‘Work together, or nothing will get accomplished’

we knew we had to do something. Our first instinct was to go on an angry, drunken rampage through the streets of Frederick. Cooler heads prevailed and we instead decided to start a blog on the corruption and down right craziness that exists in our local government. For almost a year, certain characters have kept us very, very busy. Even the one that promised we wouldn’t be hearing from him for 10 years.

In fairness, or because they wanted us to have an endless stream of material, someone at the FNP has given Blaine a column. It’s always terrible, and today was no exception. Let’s begin with the title:

What does ‘open for business’ mean anymore?

Sorry Hoots, but if we had to endure it so do you.

Didn’t he hear that when Jan took down the “open for business” signs all local businesses, especially hot dog stands, were required to shut down? I mean really Blaine, get with it.

The first few paragraphs are dedicated to educating us to how Democrats ruin everything. Of course! Republicans, on the other hand, would like to get rid of ALL regulations, except those that protect the public. To do otherwise would be picking the winners and losers. Then we are treated to his views on government services (Keep in mind folks, this guy was in charge of our government for 4 years and wanted to become our County Executive. Man we dodged a nuclear weapon!):

Sometimes the government would even go into business competing against the private sector, such as a golf courses, health and fitness, aquatics, nursing homes, entertainment, hotel and conference centers — just to name some categories close to home.

So is it his contention that the government provides recreation and medical services just to stick it to local businesses? There couldn’t possibly be other reasons could there? Like cost, accountability and equal access? Hmm, let’s continue….

112ai2 — Sorry Sprinkles, we’re almost done.

His enlightened views on the tax code:

The tax code is a mess on all levels, local, state and the federal, but we created this mess. We desperately need tax reform and a simpler, more equitable tax code. I’d propose either a flat tax or fair tax. But this will never happen, because politicians would lose the power to directly benefit those who helped elect them.

Sigh, then he meanders his way back to Maryland. You know the most business unfriendly entity on the face of the Earth!? Because folks, no Fortune 500 companies operate out of Baltimore. Thankfully, though, the Gods of fortune have heard Blaine’s cries for help:

It was a major step to elect a governor who understands how business works. Gov. Larry Hogan actually owned and operated a business that employed people. Now, no disrespect to other small-business owners, but unless you have a business location and employ at least a handful of people, it’s hard to understand the everyday challenges that a business owner encounters. In my opinion, career politicians who have never owned a business are the core of the problem, and this needs to be addressed if we are ever really going to have a government that encourages free enterprise instead of stifling it.

download — Hey Guv, Blaine wants to know if there are any open positions on your staff.

We are happy to know that Governor Hogan employed people instead of let’s say baboons. Business people of course have a perspective to bring to the table. But not the only perspective. So is Blaine actually advocating that business people are the only ones qualified for public office? It sure seems so. Things haven’t been working out so well on that front though:

We have very few business people serving in elected office or who ever aspire to serve. When I look locally, I can only find one, and they are trying to drive him out of business or out of office.

Who, pray tell, is he referring to? A real stumper!

Well, Blaine has a solution to all of our anti-business woes. There’s only one person brave enough to strip all regulations, ban all governmental functions and get this country back on course again! Are you ready folks?!:

This is why I believe Donald Trump has hit a nerve in this election cycle. Some people say we need a successful business person who tells it like it is to straighten this country out. Now, we always want to start at the top to fix our problems but it’s Congress and the state Legislature that needs to be changed first.

“Some people”:

Do these mysterious “some people” really think that Trump is qualified to run the free world because he’s run a trazillion businesses into the ground? Is it a fair trade to elect a racist misogynist xenophobe to the highest office because he’s employed people? How can that be a reasonable action to propose? Oh yeah right, it’s Blaine.

If you do get a chance to read the article, MAKE sure you read the comments. They’ll give you a chuckle or two. In all fairness, not everyone was upset about this column:

Why is everyone always calling Billy? Stop it people!

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Blaine Young: ‘Work together, or nothing will get accomplished’

What does ‘open for business’ mean anymore?

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