On this All Hallow’s Day will our council members behave like Saints? LMAO!!! No Way!

Hopefully you are all recovered from your Halloween celebrations and ready to tune into your favorite reality show. There’s a goodly amount on the agenda  and we are oh so sure that Billy is going to find himself on the wrong side of some issues ce soir. It’s only one week until the General Election and the closer we get the more unhinged Shrelauter becomes. So do try to remember this game isn’t meant to be taken for reals. Even though we understand the urge to drink away the idiocracy.

As always the night begins with public comment and budget adjustments. We are too bored by Billy’s ever changing nays and abstains to even a look up a drink for this portion.

Next we have a County Executive appointment, if Kirby accuses Jan of having a private chauffeur (something he did on Facebook this week ) slam back a Ms. Daisy, since that’s who she was accused of behaving like. (And of course, it isn’t true. She just happened to be in a car as a passenger. The horror!)

Roger Wilson is in the house to present the final legislative package for the 2017 session. Flipping through the pages, we don’t see too many Shrelauter suggestions. Wonder why that is?  Nevertheless, there’s lots of good stuff so take a look! When Kirby objects to something have a Mad Russian, since we hear Kirby’s a great admirer of Putin.

It’s time to vote on the Noise Ordinance. Billy wanted some “unreasonable amendments” according to the High Sheriff, so we may hear some grumblings from that corner. When he cries over not be allowing to shriek loudly through the streets sip on your Screaming Banana Banshee. 

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We’ve written here and there about human trafficking. Billy was against having a work shop on this issue because there are groups for human trafficking.

Not ever again Billy!!!
Not ever again Billy!!!

However, more intelligent heads prevailed, and tonight there is a public hearing on this issue. If either one of our least favorite council members say anything stupid, save up your money so you can drink some Unicorn Tears.

Council will go into closed session, to which Billy will object, and then reconvene at 7:00.

There’s a second reading on a bill to create a program for clean energy for commercial properties.  If we hear any talk at all about how global warming isn’t a thing, set up some shots of Kahula Earthquakes and slam away!

We end, as always, with public and council member comments. Let’s hope for the best. Don’t forget, if you haven’t voted already, please do so on the 8th. We are sure we will be reporting on some of our elected official’s reactions on the 9th! Sure of it!

It’s poll time again!

So if you are like us, and we are going to assume you are since you are reading, you have been anxiously awaiting the results from our last poll in which you picked out ringtones for the members of the council. We are going to have to apologize in advance to anyone who happens to be nearby when the phones ring. It could get embarrassing.

 

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Ermahgerd, can you believe who is calling us???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And finally our infotainment selection:

 

It’s pretty hard to follow up those polls. So much serious stuff is going on at the national level. Is it election day yet?

So to try to keep things light(ish), we have this week’s poll. Have you been keeping up with the proposed downtown hotel? What is your verdict?

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Ok, so maybe it won’t look exactly like this…

 

 

 

We are going to need a GoFundMe to keep up with Billy’s antics.

Every day people. Sometimes twice a day. Billy’s horrible political instincts+ a complete lack of logic= endless writing opportunities. We’ve already had one today! Well, we can’t let this new issue go without comment.  If you follow our most idiotic council member on his Facebook page you may have noticed this:

 

 

We are back to tagging Blaine!
Look who’s tagging Blaine again!

Sigh. We’ve seen a variation of this going around the Facebook world for about a week now. We’ve been waiting for actual journalists to step up and investigate this story and oh did they ever.

(Side note: In addition to the Frederick News Post, don’t forget about Katherine Heerbrandt’s new website for all of your actual investigative journalism needs.)

In today’s FNP there is a story explaining both the county and the landowner’s (who just happens to be Billy’s uncle) side of the story. The widening of Ijamsville Road has been a years long project. According to the article,  in closed session, the BOCC voted to give Billy’s uncle $14, 230 ,which after a bunch of amenities were added on, got inflated to $109,233. The first issue here is that Billy claims he recused himself from the discussion of the property improvements, but maybe he sorta kinda came back in when the actual vote took place:

Minutes from the Jan. 24, 2013, meeting show that the improvements were passed by a 5-0 vote among the five-member board.

Nothing to see here people! Billy will never, ever admit he did anything untoward!
Nothing to see here people! Billy will never, ever admit he did anything untoward!

Why would you step out during the discussion and then come back to vote? Did not one person think that may not be a smart thing to do? Anyway…so a new form of government comes into being. Jan looks at this and thinks perhaps it’s way too much money to spend:

After Gardner was elected, county staff recommended in the Dec. 15, 2014, memo that the county go back to offering the property owners the original compensation amount of $14,230, or move forward with the project without using the property.

This past spring, the family told the county that they would not accept the lower offer on the easement, according to county documents.

The county ultimately decided to redesign the project to take property from the other side of the road and avoid involving the Olden property, Gardner said.

Obtaining an easement across the street cost about $44,000, which Gardner said saved more than $60,000 over the county commissioners’ plan.

“The prior administration was willing to add amenities to a property and pay well over the value of the property that was needed,” Gardner wrote in response to questions about the project. “This sets a poor precedent and could result in other property owners asking for similar improvements and payment well above property value. This could add significant cost to a project.”

So the landowner would not accept the original amount offered to him so the county said alrighty then we’ll just use the other side of the street. So how does that make the county land thieves? How is deciding not to pay someone over $100,000 a crime against nature itself? We are growing oh so very tired of Billy’s overreactions and tantrums that we seriously don’t know if we can make it through the next two years. It is so awful to have to listen to him drone on about things he knows nothing about, spew insults at Bud during council meetings and basically make us all look like a bunch of buffoons for electing him to an at-large council office.  And we really feel for the workers who are going to have to put up with this:

Olden said the project was an attempt by the county to crush the little guy and do whatever it wants.

He plans to sit outside the house to block any work on the property without his permission.

“I’m going to sit my big, fat ass on my property, and I ain’t moving,” Olden said.

In two years time, we have to make sure that the swamp we drain is the one that Billy stands upon.

You as well Billy! GET OUT!
You as well Billy! GET OUT!

Polls, polls and more polls!

As always, before starting a new poll, we need to close out our last one.

 

 

Looks like you think there will be a bonfire at Winchester Hall in the near future.

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Just kidding. Sort of.

We hope you all remember the council meeting where Council President’s Otis’ phone rang and everyone was treated to his “Bad to the Bone” ringtone.
That got us thinking. We need your to help us decide what ringtones to assign to each council member and some other locals that we want to set up on our speed dials.

We realize this means you will have to do extra work this week with all these polls, but we think it is important enough to ask you to take the time to complete each one.

We also highly recommend you google the lyrics of any titles of which you are not familiar. WARNING: some of these songs contain lyrics that some may find highly applicable offensive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And for infotainment purposes only:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9/20 council meeting: we will try to be brief, episode 1, or Deplorables in inaction.

Hey so the archived video is 6 and a half hours long. There’s far too much to work with here. Let’s start with the very beginning. A, B, C, Do, Re, Mi, and so forth. Potato. Crackpot.

Kirby mixes it up with the consent agenda, and wants to look at one of the items separately, and that would be this one.

What better time to lose your mind than when your buddy is going to get money he needs?
What better time to lose your mind than when your buddy, who’s on hand to talk about noise ordinances, is going to get money he needs? Funny enough, he also is able to confirm that when Jerry Donald makes you seem like you are being dumb and don’t understand how the budget process works, you are in fact being dumb and don’t understand how the budget process works. Awkwarrrrrrrd. Some foreshadowing. They are not d’accord about noise ordinances later, either.

But, being incompetent doesn’t stop him–like the regular Dunning Kruger Effect case study that he is. Making matters worse he is complaining about two different procedures not being the same, just because he needs a platform to showboat his personal issue that they didn’t get paid back for helping Baltimore and wants to somehow vilify Jan (because it is a day ending in Y). All the while, he can’t even figure out when prompted that the procedure he should use would be to make a motion to separate the items on the consent agenda. When M.C. asks if he would like to make said motion, he retorts, “However you wanna do it.” No, not however she wants to. There’s a procedure, you drip. Wasn’t it that procedure was the most important thing in the world? The good news is that all that noise was useless, and everybody got the money they need in the end.

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Then we heard from Chief Tom Owens about the need to accept a grant to help staff the volunteer fire stations with career staff. This was very educational. Did you know that sometimes they send an ambulance with 2 people out (since you really can’t have only a driver both driving and attending to the medical condition in the back) and so that leaves a firetruck with only a driver, and often they all take off to a car accident in this configuration when all the equipment is required? Doesn’t that seem a little…anemic. Lewistown doesn’t have staff to operate an ambulance after 6pm, so they don’t and send a back up probably from Frederick, in the event of an emergency (and that does it; personal vow to never move out of a city). Ideally a station with an ambulance and engine should have 5 people so that the whole thing works. TBH this Local Lady was running kids around and listening to the early part of the meeting on the available wifi while chauffeuring kids to activities, and missed the conclusion. However, today’s FNP reveals that this went down as one might imagine. That’s why you need to subscribe: they pay someone to stay the whole bleeding time. And thanks to them we know that the rug that ties the whole room together is that if you need to make a point, what better time than when first responders want grant money paid for by the taxes we all pay, to make itself useful here in our community.

Some Republican members of the council questioned whether the county should accept the grant, citing the higher cost for salaries in the division once the grant runs out.

Who wonders which Republicans? Any hypotheses? Not even curious enough to go consult the archives are you? Neither are we. And also:

After the council’s vote, a group of a dozen firefighters stood in the crowd and cheered.

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It sure would be nice if Billy and Kirby had a goal other than causing problems.

 

 

It’s about that time again! Your faithful September 20 drinking game!

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It’s time for your favorite Frederick Politics game! There’s a lot on the agenda this evening. We are sure that there will be some grumbling from Shreve’s end about the start time, but we’ll try and block that out. Your Lady Yokel’s are going to leave you with a bingo game this evening. You can decide when to take a drink. With every checked box or when you get an actual Bingo! It’s totally up to you. Also, feel free to interpret the choices very liberally, the exact wording need not apply! Do remember this game is only for entertainment purposes. Billy wants NOTHING to do with our readers.

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What ridonkulous hypocrisy will Kirby treat us to today?

Is this man_______________?
A.) A Idiot
B.) a colossal asshat
C.) a stooge
D.) all of the above

In today’s paper we learn that Kirby the Esteemed Hashtag had his ill-conceived alt-budget published with a special political ad rate in the FNP. From the quality of it we will also guess that it was hastily crafted on the back of a thin paper napkin, scrawled with the splintered nub of an eyeliner tearing through the paper, just in the final 17 minutes before the start of the council meeting. And THEN he submitted for reimbursement from the county! For entirely unclear to us reasons “we the taxpayers,” for whom he is allegedly governing today, actually gave his money back. All for that fantastically stupid printed proposal!

#gotchafail
#gotchafail

Meanwhile, seemingly encouraged by Frederick County Sen. Michael Hough, R-District 4, Kirby spews forth from the other side of his face to bellyache about Jan Gardner having used a county car that is reserved for county use to attend a county function at a library run by the county. And for the completely greedy reason that her personal vehicle had a flat tire that day. Quelle horreur!

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Dear Crazy People,

The ax you are grinding makes your ass look big.

Sincerely,

Ladies of the Local Yokel

 

It is done! Montevue and Citizens are back in county hands!

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At 3:30 this afternoon Jan held a press conference. We were informed that as of September 1st the nursing homes were back in the county’s hands. The same legal agreement that was discussed on May 18th is still in effect and on the county website shall anyone want to review it. Additionally, all lawsuits concerning this sale are either dismissed or in the process of being dismissed.

According to Jan, to proceed with the sale would have cost the county $15.4 million, to keep it 1/2 of that. Why? Because we hadn’t paid off the debt and would still have five payments to make under the continuing care agreement. Should these numbers pan out then this whole sale was a horrible deal for the county.

Aurora will continue with the day to day management and slowly new indigent patients will be allowed in. Jan also wanted to address the rumors that $38 million in new debt was incurred. Now who would have said such a thing?

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Oh yeah! Well, it’s not true. No new money was needed. They refinanced that bonds that hadn’t yet been paid off. Many people were upset when the old BOCC sold off the nursing homes and we are sure they are happy to hear of this. Obviously some dead horses are going to have to be beaten because of this, but for now we will rejoice in the knowledge that our new government is responsive to it’s citizen’s needs.

Let’s all be elitists! Send in your legislative ideas!

This evening, the county council will embark upon a workshop to consider legislative ideas to send to Annapolis. Don’t forget that you can email either the County Executive or your council member with any ideas you may have.

Some of our representatives shriek loudly about how everything is horrible in our fine county. Will they have any ideas to submit this evening? Late last evening we were lucky enough to receive Kirby’s legislative priorities. Read all about them here. Your Lady Yokels are on the case.

Jeremiah is a little more polite than we are.
Jeremiah is a little more polite than we are.

Some ideas from the past year. ICYMI.

What dead horse is getting throttled this week?

Nobody told your Lady Yokels that dead horse hunting season was now open in Frederick!  Surprisingly, this week’s dead horse doesn’t symbolize Jerry and Jessica lining their pockets with all those gold doubloons. What horse’s bones are Billy and Kirby beating this time? Take a gander:

 

If being on the hook for millions, that's right millions, of more dollars is solving the problem, then I guess for once he's right!
If being on the hook for millions, that’s right millions, of more dollars is solving the problem, then I guess for once he’s right!

What does Kirby have to say? Let’s summon him and find out:

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If he put this much time and energy into his council man job we would all be better off.

Now we are forced to summon the ghost of Mark Twain:

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We covered Kirby’s school construction workshop and Jan’s presentation concerning the acquisition of the nursing homes from Aurora. Why weren’t Kirby and Billy concerned about building schools when it was a developer free for all during the last BOCC? For, in a logical world, that would have been the perfect time to make sure our infrastructure and schools were up to snuff.  Why, also, did they vote against funding schools above MOE? It clearly could not have been a secret that the people who were going to occupy these adobes would have offspring that they would like to be properly educated. Or was it? But of course this is all Jan’s fault! Every last bit of it!

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