Yesterday, the BOE and county council met for one of their joint sessions. It went very well! Wildly speculating that perhaps Kirby’s absence (where is that guy anyway?) perhaps freed people from having to talk about harebrained rent-to-own schemes. But who knows for sure?! Here’s some highlights:
Meeting agenda and minutes passed with NO issues. Take note Shrealuter!
Superintendent Alban spoke of two major factors that influenced the next year’s proposed budget:
Additional enrollment: 1,000 projected students and the positions needed to to face this growth.
The second year implementation to make the salary scales, not only for teachers but also for support staff and administration, more competitive. You know, so all of our good teachers and staff don’t run off to Montgomery County.
Other factors that have influenced this year’s budget are the legislative mandates to fund Epi-Pens and to translate IEP’s for students. This only has to be done for languages that are spoken by 1% of the population. In Frederick, only Spanish fulfills that requirement.
Frederick High is on track to open this Fall. So far, $3 million in savings has been found. Governor is also putting aside $339,000 for the LYNX program.
Butterfly Ridge Elementary-redistricting plans have been started and is expected to be contentious. Bids have been received and will be processed soon.
Sugarloaf Elementary-Bids are being processed.
Urbana Elementary-Students will be moved to Sugarloaf when completed. Urbana will then be renovated or rebuilt, depending on costs.
Rock Creek-Must find a campus since they need to be near the general school population.
Waverly-future dependent upon what happens with the new redistricting and Rock Creek.
RFI (Request for Information) was sent out to the community for the old Lincoln School building.
The beginning of the meeting was oh so predictable. Shreve abstains on the budget adjustments and then votes no on the minutes. However, we do have one question. Where is this guy?:
Where’s Kirby?
It’s the second week in a row that we’ve been left without his council member comments and insights. Hopefully that will rectify itself next week.
There’s a first reading on the solar panel bill, more on that later.
Then it’s off to the Small Business Real Property Credit and whoa man are we soothsayers or something because in our drinking game we predicted that our beloved Party O’Lincolners would cause trouble and disappoint they did not. This bill is being amended to clarify some language and to add the stipulation that if the property is subject to a TIF (Tax Incremental Financing) then the business would not be eligible for this credit. In other words, NO DOUBLE DIPPING in the coffers of the tax payers.
Pretty simple concept for most!
Well, in their best mansplaining tones, Billy and Tony want to know why businesses in TIF zones (that have already received a tax break) are being discriminated against. Isn’t there some magic pot of money where these businesses can be given a second break? Hell, why don’t we get rid of the taxes altogether, Fellas?! Isn’t it just theft? M.C., the county lawyer and a representative from the Economic Opportunity Office (all women holla!) jump in to tell them that not only were the stipulations for this credit set forth in Annapolis but that what they were suggesting was highly unusual. Jerry says that you can’t give away the same dollar twice and we hear Billy mutter: “Yeah ya can”. Since this bill was amended, a 2nd reading will occur on the 7th with a final vote on the 21st.
Once again Billy votes against going into closed session. Someone explain that one to us..please!
Master of Rhetoric Shreve has some really good points to make this evening. SIKE! He’s just as awful and terrible as he always is.You know that solar panel bill that had the first reading tonight? Well, it’s total crap! According to Billy we should just say we don’t want solar panel facilities in this county and just shut the book on it! Did you people know that there hasn’t been a pro-business bill passed in this county for 2 years!!! It’s absolutely 100% true! Billy suggests we go out to all the Frederick County welcome signs and hang “Close for Business” upon them. Bud asks Billy, “Is that all?” Which is a very gentile way of saying STFU.
Jerry is a grown up. Jessica is a grown up. Applauds Billy’s interest in the solar panel issue and looks forward to his “input”. M.C.’s comments show Billy for the anti-farmer candidate that he is. She explains to him that the restrictions in the solar panel bill were crafted based on input from area farmers who very selfishly want to make sure that we have enough land to grow food. You know so we don’t all starve to death! Bud hands out perfect attendance awards for the first two years and we think you can guess which Three Amigos did not get one. Looking forward to the Facebook tirades over that!
Take a swig of anything you’ve got for the regular stuff: Billy abstains for no obvious reason, Billy and Kirby eschew yea and nea for yes or no just to behave poorly, Billy votes no on mundane stuff like the minutes, the agenda, going into closed session, or budget adjustments.
***Very, very important 2017 Wild Turkey addendum: if at any point during this year either half of Shrelauter introduces their own legislation, participants must consume an entire bottle of Wild Turkey in one sitting***
If you find yourself with the irresistible urge to repeal and replace one of the council persons serving as bookends on the dias with a more knowledgeable and engaged public commenter, mix a Papa Joe’s Healthcare (this is for everyone’s mental healthcare, in lieu of a better plan).
If any council member ever again mentions Donald Trump as a role model or by way of example, drink a Pink Pussycat. *Cautionary tales do not count.
Worst ad campaign ever, but irresistible to suggest that we give Billy and Kirby the bird.
And today. If our Republicans find a reason to complain about M.C. and Jessica’s solar energy collection bill, have a Midnight Sun.
BUT if the same subset suddenly finds themselves in favor of taxes because the assembled collection of Democrats appear to favor the small business tax credit program, make a Bullshit Sunrise instead. Full disclosure: this contains disgusting Sunny Delight, so maybe drink neither and save your liver function for the other stuff you’re gonna need it for this week.
Earlier this week we brought you some coverage of the council’s workshop over some animal welfare provisions. For whatever reason, Kirby was not able to attend. But that did NOT deter him from Facebooking about it:
What a professional!
Believe us when we say that county issues aren’t always sexy! We’ve zzzzz through lots of discussion of sewers, zoning and council member comments. However, these discussions are necessary to a functional government. People don’t want to get bit, people don’t want their dogs to get bit, and we want to make sure that our cats and dogs are healthy and taken care of. But go ahead, Council member Delauter, mock someone for doing their job! That is just awesome!
As for you Council member Donald, we’re sure you are all too used to this by now. For that we could not be sorrier. If you are ever feeling downtrodden and think you can’t take it anymore just remember:
Folks, sometimes covering these meetings are bad for our health!
As we embarked upon tonight’s workshop we couldn’t help but feel it was going to be an pretty smooth meeting considering the fact that Billy and Kirby (and Tony too…but he doesn’t always make a mess of things) were not in attendance. Alas, it was not to last, Billy and Tony showed up late, but Kirby never found his way.
The focus of tonight’s meeting was to talk about some changes to the Animal Welfare Provisions. Councilman Donald leads the meeting by speaking of the proposed changes:
Keep your dog on a leash people! All the time. (Exceptions will be made for dog parks and farms).
Change the time a dog can be tethered from 10 hours in a day to 4 hours.
Encourage people to get their pets licensed by changing the fees. Yes folks if you have a cat or dog you are supposed to pay a license fee.
The head of the animal services division and an animal control officer were present to answer any questions.We think the Yokel ladies are going to offer a workshop for those county employees whom have not had the horror of being grilled by Billy and/or Kirby. Because Dear Yahweh, we hate seeing the deer in the headlights looks on these poor people’s faces when they face the unspeakable.
Without Kirby there Billy felt as though he had to do the work of two. We present to you, dear readers, a bulleted list of this evening’s highlights:
-Billy asks the very nice animal control officer how often the department issues citations to people who do not have their pets licensed. The gentleman responds one every few weeks. Billy then replies, “So over a hundred a year.” No, the kindly man replies, somewhere in the neighborhood of 25-30. Dear Fredericktonians, do we really have a council member whom is not aware of the fact that there are 52 weeks in a year? It appears that we do!
-Billy wants data and science (we know folks) to back up the claims that dogs should be on leashes or that dogs shouldn’t be tethered for hours. Billy, first of all, go out into the world and observe! Better yet, shadow an animal control officer. Secondly, if you want to become informed through the words, (settle down readers) peruse this article to find out all the negative effects that occur when a dog is chained up. We sure hope The Humane Society of the United States is a good enough authority to convince ya Billy!
-Billy is only going to throw his support behind laws if we follow the new Trump mandate. You know the one that states for every new law passed we must repeal two? What could possibly go wrong?!
-Despite being told over and over and over and over and over again that programs exist for people to get their animals spayed and neutered for free or very little cost, Billy harps on the full price cost of this necessary procedure. Not paying any mind to the fact that spaying and neutering is beneficial to both the animal and community for a variety of reasons.
-Let’s talk about rudeness. At one point during his questioning Jerry very politely asks if he can interject. It was a pertinent point that Jerry wanted to make concerning getting some information out to the public. Any other polite human being with manners and any sense of dignity would have allowed his colleague to talk. But not Billy. He spouts, “It’s my turn!” WAAAHHH!!! Well, Jerry gets out the information and Billy continues to complain. Dude, GROW UP! PLEASE!
PLEASE!
There’s more but the cold, or the despair is setting in and we think you get the picture. Billy is not qualified, on any quantifiable scientific measure, to sit up on that dais. Frederick County, we screwed up (well not us, but some of y’all)! Next year we need to rid our government of this pestilence.
The changes to the animal provisions will continue to be discussed and debated. We can expect to see some official legislation some time in the future.
Bud hopes it will be a productive year. We feel pessimistic. Because of the bookends on the dias (who were oddly quiet, until uncorked at the end).
Normal things happened like Billy voted against the agenda and budget transfers. Aren’t tools supposed to be useful?
Friend of Local Yokel, Patrick Schempp, spoke on several issues and seems to be far more consequential to the proper running of the county than Billy Shreve. Just sayin’.
There was a riveting water and sewer hearing and W4S4 changing to W3S3, or some such.
A proposed small business development real estate tax credit sounded intriguing. This would be for businesses with between 5 and 50 employees on purchase of or expansion of at least 2500 square feet. The tax credit would start at 40% and decrease according to a schedule over time. And they would have to pay 150% of federal minimum wage to their employees, which sounds nice, but still wouldn’t really get you much in the way of livability in urbane Fredneck. However, we are not those sort of philosophers who think, “If you cannot fix everything, why bother doing anything.” (cough…climate change illogic…cough). The program would expire in 2026, although Tony Chmelik seemed inclined to have it continue in perpetuity, because who needs taxes anyway, right?
For the second edition of public commenting a young man (we love to see our youngsters at county meetings) wants to have recycling bins available at summer lunch program centers. Tony suggests they go to another meeting, in a strange attempt to pass the buck. Thankfully M.C. steps in taking their names and promising to put them in touch with the appropriate person. Thank you M.C.!
Kirby talked for half the meeting it seemed like and to start there was a part where he seemed gracious and as though he spoke with staff he may have a good rapport with, and then spoke knowledgeably about septic system science. In the light of day it seems less mysterious that a person owning and operating a digging business hemmed and hawed about septic tanks and doesn’t just stomp his foot about <<gasp>> regulations. Not to say he made no sense, but still. It’s difficult for us to say he made sense, if you know what we mean.
Oh and who could forget the spin machine we were stuck in that has this story in the newspaper, produced by a newspaper reporter, who reported on the relative salaries of county officials here and elsewhere. This has now become some new government boondoggle talking point, even though it has zilch to do with anyone in the government having said or done anything, and was apparently produced for informational purposes such as local news. It never has to make sense to become a crisis. Special teaflakes strike again.
Many assumptions today re: salary survey story. The impetus for article is simple: It’s a new report and I pulled out interesting details.
Kirby has thankfully found an editorial section that is not biased! And he’s going to take up everyone’s time reading this editor’s accusations. Kirby is “not sure what’s going on here” and “hope(s) these accusations are unfounded”. However, he’s not going to let whether or not any of this is true stand in his way! No siree bob! What’s all the hullabaloo? Well, remember when M.C. said that she and Bud talked to the County Executive before legislation is introduced? Yeah that. Must be some sneakiness going on. Thank goodness we have some local heroes with no agenda against Jan, Bud or M.C. on it! We took a peaky poo at the Open Meetings Act and didn’t see anything that would warrant these allegations. However, tis very long and written in legalese so we will have to see what the attorney says. Sounds like the County Council has a few time sucking, tax wasting PIAers on their hands as well.
There was more, but I give up, which is awful, because some smart people got shortchanged. If Billy said anything exciting, nobody even knows. You will have to wait for another Local Yokel to let you know.
Oh, but wait! Almost forgot! Jerry Donald likes meeting constituents and is going on a tour, like the rock star that he is.
An oldie, but a goodie.
M.C. apologizes for not answering Kirby’s hero editor and promises to do so. Also vows to continue talking to people in the county government in order to do her job. The county attorney will be issuing an opinion soon on whether or not anything was untoward. We can already predict the answer.
Happy New Year fans of the Yokel!!! We sincerely hope that you had a wonderful holiday season! This afternoon, we will see the first council meeting of 2017. Will Shrelauter turn over a new leaf? Unlikely things will go well since we ended 2016 with Kirby Facebooking some pretty cray cray allegations concerning M.C. There’s also been some disturbances in the force whispering to us that Kirby may actually write some legislation this year. We suppose that anything is possible! Grab your agenda, warm up that feed to FCGTV and watch your local government in action!! Do remember, these games are only for fun, we need all our Yokels alive and well to vote in the 2018 council election!
Not holding our breath though!
We start out with public comment. Predicting that no one will show at this first meeting of the new year, but you never know!!! Then we are out of the usual order of things with a public hearing concerning some amendments to the Spring water and sewage plan. If Kirby takes this time to grandstand about returning people’s money who were forced to purchase environmentally sound septic systems slam back a Creamsicle Fizz , allowing the bubbles to transport you to a land far, far away.
Quite a few budget transfers on the agenda. If these go smoothly, hooray! If not, mix up some Angry by the Fire. Can we take this for another two years?
Second reading of the bill to establish a small business real property tax credit. We’ve spoken before how this should be something right down Shrelauter’s alley. But, oh contrarian gods of yore! Those pesky Democrats and minions of the County Executive are behind this! How will this play out? If with predictable mantantrums, have yourself a Pint of Mad Out of It!
One more shot of public comments until we reach the point where what could go wrong will go wrong: council member comments.
Don’t test us first thing in the new year!
There’s little chance, with such a long break, that there won’t be things to SAY. This is probably a good time to calm down and take a few deep breaths. Maybe grab a nice fruit smoothie, or some calming Ginger Ale or take some Tums or Rolaids. Anything to protect your stomach from what is sure to be some aggravating nonsense.
Your Lady Yokels are holding our collective breath that we can get through these final two days of 2016 without any more tragedy. If you need a distraction to get you through the next couple of days be sure to read our end of year posts. First up we have our Most Popular Posts of 2016. You can revisit your favorite Yokel posts about all that went on in this tumultuous year. Also, we have the coveted Yokel In/Out List. Check back with us on January 4 when we will restart our coverage of our favorite governmental body.
Usually Kirby only gets one column per month at the Tentacle. USUALLY. But since we are in topsy turvy nobody cares about anything anymore mode, he’s been granted a second chance to offend our good senses. The topic? Danielle Gaines and her super no good column about the county council. Poor Danielle, just the other day Billy was praising her fairness (after this offending story came out mind you) but Kirby didn’t get the memo and he’s going to correct what’s wrong. Let’s start with the title, because ROTFLMAO!:
Newspaper Article’s Factual Errors Corrected
That’s right folks. Kirby’s gonna take those facts and do some correcting!! First off Kirby does not care for Danielle’s description of the other council members while he’s a yapping:
It painted Billy Shreve as seeing the comment as comical; it tries to show Tony Chmelik as embarrassed, and the remainder members of the council as studious and basically annoyed.
We here at the Yokel have watched every single meeting, along with council workshops and we are going to have to rate this statement as:
100% never been more sure about anything in our lives true!
Then there’s some blah blah, stable tax rate is the same as a tax hike, bond ratings are good because of Blaine and then he offers up his excuse as to why he hasn’t written any legislation ever:
“Councilman Donald likes to chide me for never introducing a bill in two years. Well, yes, if I have to introduce legislation for civility and water buffers we don’t need, then, yes, you will see no bills from me.”
That’s right fellow citizens!!!!! Since niceties and water buffers are all we have going on in these here parts count Kirby out of the legislating process! He’s not going to do a damn bit of legislating and you can’t make him! He then goes on about Bud’s 180 and how there’s not a bit of leadership on the council, because hey, if you can’t keep Kirby and Billy in line that must be YOUR failure. There just isn’t any other logical explanation.
Then the hounds are released upon Jan. You see, fellow citizens, if the council agrees with the county executive then they aren’t doing their job. If they aren’t there to say no, as was the fashion of our Congress to President Obama, then things just aren’t getting done. It’s a failure of leadership. So heed Kirby’s warning peeps:
“It’s apparent nothing will change, the council will be an extension of the county executive, and she will run the county through fear and intimidation, just as she has for the 20-plus years she’s been involved in county government.”
Really Kirby GIVE IT A REST! Nobody is singing this narrative but you and your cronies.
It’s all good though. Kirby is FINE with being in the minority. He’s going to just keep on trucking. And come 2018 he just knows things are going to change. Finally something we can all agree on!
We here at the Yokel are avid readers of the Frederick News Post. We especially look forward to Danielle Gaines’ Political Notes column, since she follows many of the same stories that we do. Today we were treated to some really astonishing things that Delegate Barrie Ciliberti actually said out loud…in front of actual human beings. Basically,he’s upset because all that “politically incorrect” talk was all fine and dandy in the mid to late 90’s. However, times have really changed and his inability to now tell his large repertoire of jokes that allegedly cross the entire ethnic spectrum have really stultified him. We really should pay more attention to the sacrifices our delegates make for us when they enter our state capitol and have to pretend they aren’t as terrible as they really are. Here’s a news flash for you Delegate Ciliberti, you probably made a whole lot of people really uncomfortable 20 years ago. Now that they don’t have to stand for it anymore, that sir, is called progress. Be sure to also read his thoughts on lobbyists, because whoa nelly now we have to pay attention to this guy as well!
Also, included in today’s column is a story your faithful Yokel Ladies first brought to you about Kirby’s Facebook claims over meetings with M.C. Keegan-Ayre. Her response in today’s column:
“That is not what happened.”
This should make for a fun county council meeting when everyone returns in 2017!
frederick local yokel 