It’s time for your favorite Frederick Politics game! There’s a lot on the agenda this evening. We are sure that there will be some grumbling from Shreve’s end about the start time, but we’ll try and block that out. Your Lady Yokel’s are going to leave you with a bingo game this evening. You can decide when to take a drink. With every checked box or when you get an actual Bingo! It’s totally up to you. Also, feel free to interpret the choices very liberally, the exact wording need not apply! Do remember this game is only for entertainment purposes. Billy wants NOTHING to do with our readers.
We had a short workshop tonight! Not a good one, but a short one!
Jerry starts off nicely talking about how we can deal with blighted properties more effectively. And he wants to talk to the State Board of Education about taking teachers out of the classroom to fulfill other positions. He wants to know if these positions are really necessary when we have overcrowded classrooms.
Kirby opens up with talks of plagiarism. We reported on this very issue last night as did Frederick County Fact check. He got an email from someone accusing him of plagiarizing his list. He gets Regan to talk about how they search for legislation and since it’s a talking point and not legislation it doesn’t matter. Uh, okay.
Then he’s off explaining his legislative ideas. Since we already discussed them last night, we aren’t going to rehash the horror. We do feel the need to say something about his anti-union proposal though. We are going to postulate that perhaps Kirby isn’t aware of the history of labor in our country. Perhaps he is ignorant of the fact that our benevolent Titans of Industry didn’t give more than a rat’s ass about the workers in their factories.
That would be the only explanation we will accept as to why he said that since they’ve been doing this in the South they’ve been able to produce much better products. Jerry does take him to task on this, but of course he can’t answer any of his concerns. His stock answer was: “I don’t want to legislate that.” Oh no, he only wants to legislate getting RID of the union. He doesn’t care what the employer does next. We want to help Kirby become better educated. Especially since rumors are bouncing off the mountains that he’s going to run for CE. Therefore, Kirby please go to Amazon and order this book, if it’s too many words, would you at least read the Wikipedia entry on the History of the Labor Movement in the US? Pretty please?
Kirby and Billy had a meeting of the minds and decided that they want to eliminate all VEIP stations. Why, because private industry wants a little bit of that emission cash. Why wait in line at the VEIP station when you can wait for an appointment at your local car mechanic? I wonder if the price will go up? Hmmm.
Jessica wants legislation to help parents find drug treatment for their kids. And why do we only have two nice things to talk about tonight?
New business is last on the agenda. Billy must have missed Jan’s press conference because he’s in a tizzy about the nursing home again. And here’s the part where he acts like a jerk. After using the term “smoke and mirrors” about 5 times…
…he takes a turn on Bud. He starts shouting at him for not bringing this up on the agenda. Bud says that now the deal is done he will. Billy accuses him of stalling and doing everything the County Executive instructs him to do. He then shouts, “You don’t do anything!” Bud calmly replies that is his opinion and he is certainly entitled to it. To which Billy screams that he can ask a lot of people. Bud ends the meeting and we are very sorry Mr. Otis, that you had to put up with such antics on your birthday! We hope you can at least have a nice birthday dinner.
This evening, the county council will embark upon a workshop to consider legislative ideas to send to Annapolis. Don’t forget that you can email either the County Executive or your council member with any ideas you may have.
Some of our representatives shriek loudly about how everything is horrible in our fine county. Will they have any ideas to submit this evening? Late last evening we were lucky enough to receive Kirby’s legislative priorities. Read all about them here. Your Lady Yokels are on the case.
One of the hotbox topics last night was concerning M.C. Keegan-Ayer’s proposed legislation to establish a pilot program allowing medical cannabis to be grown in agricultural zones in Frederick County. If you have not been following this matter, medical cannabis growth is currently permitted in industrial zones only. She moved to approve an amendment to that legislation, which provides for the recommendations that previous public commenters spoke about and the planning committee put forth. Setbacks and enclosures and stuff like that. So, responsive government, FTW!
Oh no Patty the Cow, there’s going to be THC in the milk! Think of the children!
Jerry Donald said that his constituents’ feedback has been overwhelmingly opposed to this program, so that is where he stands. However, the feedback from the public having been added into the legislation, it made sense to pass that amendment and let this matter return to a public hearing situation so that the public might have their say about the proposed changes. Can you imagine? Rare as a unicorn! A legislator who is listening to his constituents and behaving?! FWIW, we are into the medical cannabis and we wish we could have our way, but M.C. and Jessica are our laydeez, and Jerry isn’t. Both of them pretty much always seem to be doing what we would vote for, up to and including using the council member comments portion as a teachable moment for those who need the education. Mrs. Fitzwater got voted teacher of the year last night at the Yokel desk. The whole system seems to be working ideally as a representative democracy. We previously received some tsk-tsk genre feedback about our opinions on medical cannabis–formed due to friends suffering through cancer treatment–and what would befall Jerry if he supported this, but it seems like Jerry Donald is able to figure out what to do and isn’t even motivated at all to please us, which makes total sense and good for you, Jerry! You’re doing it right, too!
Can we please stop pretending government serves no purpose? Thanks.
This entire discussion went exactly as good government ought to. In hindsight, we have come to realize this is mainly due to the fact that Billy Shreve is not opposed to it, so we didn’t have to listen to the obligatory buffoonery segment. We are so sorry to even mention this, because we thought today could be the day Billy’s clip was going to stay on green for the entirety of a meeting. He even made a quick witted joke, but then ruined it by immediately being a total jerk to Bud Otis (who, as one who was elected at-large, also seems to be doing what floats a lot of boats, so all that Turncoat Talk is also a bunch of hogwash). As it turns out, Billy later plummeted quickly through yellow and his clip was demoted to red. Per usual. Who is going to draw the short straw and have to call home about this?
Since the council returned from their break, we’ve heard some pretty dumb things. We are still trying to recover from Billy telling us that we can safely drink from any stream in the county, when we clearly CANNOT. What misinformation is in store for our tender little ears this week? Grab a copy of your trusty agenda, pull up next to your favorite reality channel and batten down the hatches! And as always, this game is just for fun! No passing out in the alleys!
The very beginning of our evening begins behind closed doors. The council will interview a County Executive appointee. In honor of the torture this poor soul is about to embark on, who will have to endure some “interesting” questions from the entity we call Shrelauter, warm yourself up with a Secret Garden Cocktail.
Not sure why they bother calling the meeting to order since a few will never abide. We begin with public comment, some idiot either abstaining or refusing to vote on the consent agenda and then the approval of three budget transfers. No school transfers this week so Kirby won’t have the opportunity to throw out his dead horse speech about the teachers on the council lining their pockets. Oh what a shame!
Dr. Monica Grant is up for approval for the Director of the Citizens Service Director. Read more about her here.
We have one first reading on a program Regarding Establishment of a Clean Energy Loan Program for Commercial Properties. Then the council has to make some decisions.
First up is the Adequate Facilities Code. When Kirby laments the fact that his super expensive plan to fund four schools was killed, shoot back some Tough to Hear shots. It’s really becoming tiresome isn’t it?
Next up, Jerry has a plan to make zoning changes more public, so people have a chance to actually know what’s going on in their neighborhoods. “Shouldn’t” be any problems with this, but if there is, mix yourself up a B-52.
Time to decide on the marijuana pilot program. We heard some rumor that the High Sheriff was on the radio saying that prostitution should be legal, however, pot is a danger this county should never know. When we get confirmation on whether or not our top law enforcement officer really thinks a plant is more dangerous than the abuse and degradation of poor, disadvantaged people we’ll certainly let you know. For now just have your self a Elixir Bloody Mary, because we all need our vitamins.
If you have seen any of these Facebook hotel accounts, you know that the proposed downtown hotel is a touchy subject for some. However, many people came out in support of raising this tax, so we are fairly certain it’s a done deal. If the talk gets a little dicey, slam back a Stinger.
If this doesn’t get us to 7:00, Billy will complain and moan about how Bud can’t foresee the exact time a meeting will take and we’ll want to slam every clock over that head of his! Yes, Billy we all know how busy you are, and none of us gives a rat’s ass.
Billy, ranting about nothing just makes you look stoooopid.
Two public hearings on the agenda. Zoning, Adequate Facilities and Developer Rights are wrapped up all in one. The second deals with Solar Panel Installation. We’ll let your livers rest during this section of the evening. We do predict, however, that the second hearing will go smoother than the first.
Public comment and then what seems to do us in, Council Member comment. Before the C.M comment section of the evening commences fortify yourself with a Snickertini. For the only way to get through this mess anymore is to laugh.
Don’t worry we have a whole lot of letters we can use to describe it.
At the end of our very informative workshop on human trafficking, Billy lit everything on fire and we mean everything. We first have to commend County Attorney Kearney and Council Member Keegan-Ayres for not flying across the dais and taking a hold of that man’s neck. Seriously, we could not deal with his nonsense, which only seems to get worse as the weeks go by.
After sitting quietly through the presentation, our most useless council member decides he has some items that must be addressed. First off, he wants a formal investigation into why the County Executive returned the money to the City of Baltimore for expenses incurred during the Baltimore riot. Billy wants to know why his question has not been addressed! Well hold on there fella! Did you not receive the email that Ms. Kearney sent you detailing why this in fact was legal? Come on guys…you don’t expect Billy to read do you? So it is the opinion of the attorney that since they have a mutual aid agreement with Baltimore AND this money was not a budgeted item and therefore did not fall under the purview of the council, the Executive (like many across the State) was completely within her rights to return the money. Like because, uh, maybe we all want to help each other out around these here parts. I would imagine that if we were ever so unfortunate to have a disaster in Frederick we would be very appreciative if our neighbors lent a helping hand. Without expecting cash money in return.
You would think this is over, but my poor naive friends, you would be very wrong indeed. Because Billy wants a FORMAL INVESTIGATION into why this money was returned. You can’t believe a word out of Ms. Kearney’s mouth because she was hired by that “fox in the hen house” (Kirby’s words) Jan Gardner. So there’s some argument over this that goes along the usual lines. Billy ends up yelling at Bud, “You’re out of order, just ask anyone who voted for you!” Jessica and MC try to push the point that we can just ask people about this instead of having a FORMAL INVESTIGATION. And that’s what is going to end up happening because only Billy and Kirby voted for this nonsense.
We were all so hopeful that this would conclude our evening, but we were all so very wrong. Because: Nursing Home!! Billy wants all the details of the deal. He is informed that County Attorney Mathias does not want the details released to the public yet because it is still in litigation. Everyone seems to be fine with this except our two revenge seekers. Billy yells at Bud again about how he’s showing no leadership and how can he expect anything less and OMG Bud’s phone goes off and his ringtone is Bad to the Bone!!! We swear on Helena’s throne that is true! How in love with that are you? We’ll leave you with this last little pic that so exemplifies what Billy is doing to our county government:
This meeting started with all the regular malarkey. There was a grand opening event in the first public comment section. Thanks be to Yokel reader and frequent public commenter Patrick Schempp. He came with audio effects so that we could all hear Blaine Young at the last BOCC meeting brag about how he screwed us all for generations to come. That’s may be a slight paraphrase, but not at all a mischaracterization of the attitude. The AV Club presentation ran a little long, so by the fourth minute of the meeting Billy had already started his insolent griping at Bud about controlling the meeting. I think Mr. Schempp must’ve hurt Billy’s feelings…
Sorry to have to keep using this one folks. But it’s kinda not our fault.
And then came the consent items, and Kirby took the opportunity to wail on the most brittle skeletal remains of his favorite dead horse. One of the consent items involved BOE money and that was going to affect Jerry and Jessica’s salaries. Oh. Mon. Dieu. How many times are we going to go over this? But he knows. He just wants the public to know that if they vote on the whole consent agenda one of the line items will give money to the BOE to decide what to do with it, and years down the road the teachers on the Council may benefit from it. Probably maybe eventually they will see seventeen cents more than they had yesterday. Shut up, Kirby. Shut. Up. We are bored of your stupidity. Jerry and Jessica both responded, kind of the same way they always do when Kirby pulls this crap (oh, consent items passed, in spite of time wasted).
Other Shrelauter horse carcass flogging included the continued denial of the science of water. Why should we comply with the Clean Water Act? Again (and this is a review for Kirby, too–goodness no wonder they have no respect for education issues, look how it helped them comprehend nothing at all). To ignore the problems with erosion and pollution that Shrelauter disbelieves, there are significant fines and prison time at stake. Why be bothered with reality, though. Also Billy says it is good thing that they have learned some of our local streams are polluted by animals. Tony jovially concluded that they need to shoot more deer. The thing is, we are pretty that you are NOT just allowed to go shoot the domesticated bovines standing in area streams, and their pies are so much more copious than the fewmets left by deer. But harharhar. Thriving animal populations or whatever. This is a positive spin a la “the Grand Canyon is beautiful and caused by erosion.” Psst Billy: our troubles here are generally caused by sediment deposition. Also, according to Billy our water is obviously fine. “No one has died.” (true story) O.K. Please explain how we are to listen to your possibly lead poisoned brain thoughts and reach the same “it’s all good” conclusion. We’ll be waiting…
A new and head-scratching thing occurred during the discussion concerning the payment in lieu of tax agreement to establish workforce housing on North Market Street. Billy seemed at a loss when he was told about fair housing laws. This means incentives can’t be given to certain classes of people. He was hoping it would be guaranteed somehow that the available units would be filled by teachers, nurses and first responders of the highest workforce caliber and obviously not some ambiguous lesser riffraff. Indignantly, he demanded to know what laws. This ignorance was shocking to your yokels, only because we have bought houses and dealt with realtors. Then we remembered: Billy is a realtor. We don’t know if our jaws will ever come off the floor.
A quick and dirty guide to the hot topics:
Everybody likes the hotel tax. Except Randy Cohen of the Holiday Inn (can’t really blame him for that, but try as he might that Holiday Inn is not going to move itself downtown, so…). He did bring a couple of friends. One of them was so angry about Redheaded Eskimos.
Nobody likes the medical marijuana pilot program. They all came out of the woodwork to say so.
Council member comments at the end of the evening had us laughing so hard we were unable to breathe and nearly passed out from lack of oxygen. Kirby is still complaining about his lease back option getting nixed. And just because it was obviously a terrible idea from the first day! Billy had a lot to say, and this post would be twice as long if we just focused on that (see yourself at 5 hours 43 minutes, no, that is not a typo). Jessica ducked out because of new motherhood, and she honestly must have been miserable by that point and probably wouldn’t have even been able to laugh at her neighbor on the dias. We highly recommend that she does as promised and goes back to watch them. Of course she will. She is a responsible council person.
There is another phrase kind of like beating a dead horse, but it is much cruder and involves a chicken. If this redundant stuff continues, we may be forced to drag that ghastly thing out. We can’t keep being forced to say the same things over and over again just because Shrelauter hasn’t had a fresh thought in over a year.
The council reconvened at 7:00 for the public hearing to extend the fee in lieu of building Moderately Priced Dwelling Units (MPDUs). This is being done in order to allow time for the completion of a housing study. This ordinance was set to expire in September but will now be continued until June 30, 2017. There was a nice presentation from Jessica, Milton Bailey (the new Director of Housing and Community Development) and three members of the public in support of the extension.
No takers for the public comment.
Jerry starts out the council member comments tonight. The new paved path is officially open through Middletown Park. There will be more information about his new bill concerning notification of re-zoning. And, he encourages people to get out to their local carnivals to support the firefighters.
Tony passes. In fact we did not hear a peep out of him the entire evening.
Jessica thanks the people who came out for the public hearing and praised the upcoming Ballenger Run project for including affordable rental units in their development plan. She also thanks everyone for having patience with the council as they modify their procedures and processes. She hopes they can continue to have positive dialogue.
Kirby congratulates the Thurmont Little League for making it to the State Tournament. Makes us aware that Little League is not only about winning but also about learning how to lose gracefully. Huh? We can only hope our beloved # learns this lesson himself. Very, very, soon.
He also discusses the new hotel bill. He has some issues with the stormwater management (shocker) and parking. He hasn’t gotten the answers he wanted from the city so he wants to know why are we pushing this forward.
Billy piggybacks on Jessica’s appreciation of people’s patience with the council. But of course, he’s going to complain about the time schedule again. He doesn’t like that the meeting begins at 4:30 and then the public hearing is to begin at 7:00. Tonight’s meeting was short enough for them to have a 2 hour break and it’s ridiculous! Unless and until Billy can predict how long the meeting will last, for we have seen some short ones and some that run all the way up to 7:00, he’s just blowing a lot of hot air. It is more convenient for the public to schedule it this way because then you know what portion of the meeting to show up for. But his time is way valuable people!
No more valuable than anyone else’s Batman!
M.C. talks about the extension of the bike path out to Rosemont Ave and commends the first graduating class of community health workers. These graduates will go out in our community to provide health care in those regions of our county where people don’t readily have access. A good program indeed.
Bud asks Chief of Staff Cherney to help Kirby get the information that he was seeking about the hotel. Mr. Otis also talks about the grant to Hood’s nursing program and the re-establishment of the I-270 coalition. He finishes up by reminding us that the Fireworks in Baker Park will be held on July 24 and a Veteran’s Rally in the Valley will be held on July 30 at the fairgrounds.
Short and sweet. The council will reconvene at 7:00 for a public hearing but here is what has happened thus far…
Billy votes against the agenda, no one signed up for pre-meeting public comment, Billy abstains from the consent agenda. Before getting into the meat of the meeting Bud commends Jerry for his suggestion on putting cell phones aside. Billy yells: “Let’s stick to the agenda.” We all know that he and Kirby cannot function up there if they don’t have the texts from the puppet master to guide their way. Oh whatever would they do?
All County Executive confirmations pass. Charter amendments will go through on the November ballot with one change. Council member Fitzwater made a motion to change 2 business days to 4 when it came to bill amendment notices. All three passed and will be grouped as two questions (One will deal with the two budget issues and the other bill amendments) for the good voters to decide upon this November.
Three bills are introduced:
Jerry is working on a bill that steps up the requirements for a zoning change. This will make sure that the neighbors of a property that is asking to be re-zoned are aware of what is going on.
M.C. wants to try out a medical cannabis pilot program in agricultural areas.
Bud introduces a bill from the County Executive concerning changes to the hotel tax.
We’ll let ya know how the public hearing turns out!
frederick local yokel 