All the dead horses fit to be beaten were trotted out after the long council break

This meeting started with all the regular malarkey. There was a grand opening event in the first public comment section. Thanks be to Yokel reader and frequent public commenter Patrick Schempp. He came with audio effects so that we could all hear Blaine Young at the last BOCC meeting brag about how he screwed us all for generations to come. That’s may be a slight paraphrase, but not at all a mischaracterization of the attitude. The AV Club presentation ran a little long, so by the fourth minute of the meeting Billy had already started his insolent griping at Bud about controlling the meeting. I think Mr. Schempp must’ve hurt Billy’s feelings…

Sorry to have to keep using this one folks. But it's kinda not our fault.
Sorry to have to keep using this one folks. But it’s kinda not our fault.

And then came the consent items, and Kirby took the opportunity to wail on the most brittle skeletal remains of his favorite dead horse. One of the consent items involved BOE money and that was going to affect Jerry and Jessica’s salaries. Oh. Mon. Dieu. How many times are we going to go over this? But he knows. He just wants the public to know that if they vote on the whole consent agenda one of the line items will give money to the BOE to decide what to do with it, and years down the road the teachers on the Council may benefit from it. Probably maybe eventually they will see seventeen cents more than they had yesterday. Shut up, Kirby. Shut. Up. We are bored of your stupidity. Jerry and Jessica both responded, kind of the same way they always do when Kirby pulls this crap (oh, consent items passed, in spite of time wasted).

Other Shrelauter horse carcass flogging included the continued denial of the science of water. Why should we comply with the Clean Water Act? Again (and this is a review for Kirby, too–goodness no wonder they have no respect for education issues, look how it helped them comprehend nothing at all). To ignore the problems with erosion and pollution that Shrelauter disbelieves, there are significant fines and prison time at stake. Why be bothered with reality, though. Also Billy says it is good thing that they have learned some of our local streams are polluted by animals. Tony jovially concluded that they need to shoot more deer. The thing is, we are pretty that you are NOT just allowed to go shoot the domesticated bovines standing in area streams, and their pies are so much more copious than the fewmets left by deer. But harharhar. Thriving animal populations or whatever. This is a positive spin a la “the Grand Canyon is beautiful and caused by erosion.” Psst Billy: our troubles here are generally caused by sediment deposition. Also, according to Billy our water is obviously fine. “No one has died.” (true story) O.K. Please explain how we are to listen to your possibly lead poisoned brain thoughts and reach the same “it’s all good” conclusion. We’ll be waiting…

A new and head-scratching thing occurred during the discussion concerning the payment in lieu of tax agreement to establish workforce housing on North Market Street. Billy seemed at a loss when he was told about fair housing laws. This means incentives can’t be given to certain classes of people. He was hoping it would be guaranteed somehow that the available units would be filled by teachers, nurses and first responders of the highest workforce caliber and obviously not some ambiguous lesser riffraff. Indignantly, he demanded to know what laws. This ignorance was shocking to your yokels, only because we have bought houses and dealt with realtors. Then we remembered: Billy is a realtor. We don’t know if our jaws will ever come off the floor.

A quick and dirty guide to the hot topics:

Everybody likes the hotel tax. Except Randy Cohen of the Holiday Inn (can’t really blame him for that, but try as he might that Holiday Inn is not going to move itself downtown, so…). He did bring a couple of friends. One of them was so angry about Redheaded Eskimos.

Nobody likes the medical marijuana pilot program. They all came out of the woodwork to say so.

Council member comments at the end of the evening had us laughing so hard we were unable to breathe and nearly passed out from lack of oxygen. Kirby is still complaining about his lease back option getting nixed. And just because it was obviously a terrible idea from the first day! Billy had a lot to say, and this post would be twice as long if we just focused on that (see yourself at 5 hours 43 minutes, no, that is not a typo). Jessica ducked out because of new motherhood, and she honestly must have been miserable by that point and probably wouldn’t have even been able to laugh at her neighbor on the dias. We highly recommend that she does as promised and goes back to watch them. Of course she will. She is a responsible council person.

There is another phrase kind of like beating a dead horse, but it is much cruder and involves a chicken. If this redundant stuff continues, we may be forced to drag that ghastly thing out. We can’t keep being forced to say the same things over and over again just because Shrelauter hasn’t had a fresh thought in over a year.


Gold Star Commenter: Medical Cannabis

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So the meat of that meeting on Tuesday was the Medical Cannabis legislation, which would seek to allow special zoning exceptions that would permit medical cannabis to be grown in agricultural zones rather than exclusively in industrial zones. Lots of people said lots of stuff, mostly good points both for and against, with a sprinkling on top of those trembling in fear of the slippery slope that descends into Reefer Madness.

We’d like to extend a shout out to Kevin Kennedy of Kojak Industries in Mt. Airy for really distilling the essence of this legislation. He stood (March 8th, around the 42″ mark) to say that this is purely a zoning issue. Of 23 counties in Maryland, 15 licenses for the cultivation of medical cannabis will be approved. So to begin with there is no certainty that any of the applicants in Frederick County will receive a license. Passing this legislation only means there would be an opportunity for the community to consider a zoning exception within an agricultural area for a specific applicant, so it responsibly retains careful review and community feedback for each individual possible instance.  Allowing the possibility means that should the community choose to grant such an exception, knowing all the details beforehand, there may be  economic opportunity available to a grower’s business and that opportunity would extend other opportunities to any support service businesses in the local area. One reason this may be a better opportunity is the less expensive price of real estate in an agricultural zone as compared to an industrial zone. That is all.

Thanks for summing all that up, good sir. This structure of logical argument was darned refreshing. If only Kirby D. could, like, have a main idea and move in some sort of order when he has something to say. If you all understood what Kirby was rambling about during his Council Member Comments, that would have been a miracle. “Legislation thats getting people in the business of where the sheriff should be driving these negotiations…” Clear as mud. If you would like to look at House Bill 1556 or Senate Bill 1128, which he declined to give any context concerning (other than usurping local authority, which still failed to elucidate anything, because that’s a pure bred talking point), there’s a cool tool for that. Click on those links for a brief summary, or to read the whole bills if you so desire.